This is a late parrot: Teach him how to throw
sarahthustra: give the kid name that doesn't suck.
Professor Wormbog: it sure takes a load off MY chest.
AdolfOliverPanties: Don't smell the umbilical cord stump. Trust me on this.
platkat: Wait until he's at least five or six before his first tattoo.
gunsmack: When changing a boy, put a washcloth on it or he will pee all over you and everything else.
Phletchengreuber: The trick to parenthood is redundancy. You'll definitely screw the first one up and possibly the second, so you'll need to have at least two more.
Professor Wormbog: that's so weird, because i was definitely thinking you probably SHOULD smell the umbilical cord stump. i mean it just sounds so tempting, how could you not?
sarahthustra: sage is overrated. use less of it in your dressing.
Ponzholio: If you drop your kid, blame it on the dog.
LlamaGirl: Don't forget to eat the placenta!!
AdolfOliverPanties: AdolfOliverPanties: Don't smell the umbilical cord stump. Trust me on this.Seriously, I cannot stress this enough.
sgt cyanide: kids are special.
Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.
When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.
Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.
You need to create an account to submit links or post comments.
Click here to submit a link.
Also on Fark
Submit a Link »
Copyright © 1999 - 2017 Fark, Inc | Last updated: May 27 2017 09:03:07
Runtime: 0.632 sec (631 ms)