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(SF Weekly)   Meet the man who had sex with a dolphin, among other animals, who is also sad he cannot get a job   (blogs.sfweekly.com) divider line 241
    More: Sick, sexual intercourses  
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19082 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jan 2013 at 6:46 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



241 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-01-07 02:56:58 PM
I'm not sure if that beats sex with an armadillo, or not.
 
2013-01-07 03:07:06 PM
To be fair, a male dolphin will rape people, which is why "Swimming with Dolphins" is usually female dolphins only.

/Haven't read the article yet.
 
2013-01-07 03:15:40 PM
Maybe he should think about animal husbandry as a career.
 
2013-01-07 03:20:05 PM
He did WHAT on porpoise?
 
2013-01-07 03:26:05 PM
Hey it was a FEMALE dolphin. It's not like he was a homo or something.
 
2013-01-07 03:28:21 PM
FTFA - "gently stroking one of the two cats occupying the room with us".

That's just sick. The guy never stops.
 
2013-01-07 03:33:43 PM

phlegmmo: Maybe he should think about animal husbandry as a career.


He doesn't want to be tied down.
 
2013-01-07 03:34:25 PM
Flipper?  You flip 'er...
 
2013-01-07 03:37:00 PM
Unuh. Unuhunuh. Unuh.
www.follybeach.com
 
2013-01-07 03:54:29 PM
ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2013-01-07 03:59:04 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-01-07 04:02:36 PM
Maybe he was just looking for some tuna but got caught in a net with a dolphin.
 
2013-01-07 04:05:10 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Unuh. Unuhunuh. Unuh.
[www.follybeach.com image 499x297]


Those seductive eyes. Quit tempting me, you hussy of the sea!
 
2013-01-07 04:14:44 PM

St_Francis_P: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Unuh. Unuhunuh. Unuh.
[www.follybeach.com image 499x297]

Those seductive eyes. Quit tempting me, you hussy of the sea!


Actually, if you read the article, that's pretty much what he says. Also, the dolphin had "a reputation".

/I wish I was kidding
//I also wish I could un-read something
 
2013-01-07 04:16:25 PM
Mr. Brenner, we're going to be covering a lot of subjects in great deal of detail over the course of thi interview, but I'd like to begin completely out of context by asking you one question, more than any other, almost every American and people all over the world want me to ask. Did you put it in the blowhole or the va-jay-jay?

It was vaginal sex. Vaginal sex. Blowholes are for breathing. Sometimes male dolphins do each other in the blowhole, but you wouldn't find me trying to do that.


Well, of course not, because sticking it in the blowhole would be gay.

/ Usually I'd say NTTAWWT but in this case....
 
2013-01-07 04:24:58 PM
img708.imageshack.us
Hey y'all.
 
2013-01-07 04:31:22 PM

Godscrack: [img708.imageshack.us image 628x476]
Hey y'all.


Given the content of TFA, I should have expected to see this meme in here.
 
2013-01-07 04:36:06 PM
He's too old to be a dolphin whore now.
 
2013-01-07 04:45:06 PM
That guy totally doesn't look like he does sexytimes with a dolphin. Nuh-uh. Nope.
 
2013-01-07 04:48:43 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-01-07 04:56:56 PM
*scans headline*

i.chzbgr.com
 
2013-01-07 04:57:03 PM
20 comments and no Red Hot Chilli Peppers reference. For shame farkers, for shame
 
2013-01-07 05:02:35 PM
Don Knotts would have been impressed.
 
2013-01-07 05:10:11 PM
Proof that all dolphins want do is to muck about in the water in order to have a good time.


/So long and thanks for all the fish
 
2013-01-07 05:36:00 PM
This dolphin would like a word. Then a turn.

dtdstudios.com
 
2013-01-07 06:13:06 PM
Once you go blowhole...
 
2013-01-07 06:17:02 PM
HMMM...midget dolphin BDSM
 
2013-01-07 06:47:26 PM
No Hank Hill? Fark! I am disappoint.
 
2013-01-07 06:49:52 PM
Ya know, I've read a lot of icky stuff on the internet, but I'm not gonna read about this guy.
 
2013-01-07 06:50:53 PM
i137.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-07 06:51:16 PM
He could get a job in a sex lab
 
2013-01-07 06:54:44 PM
It can never be said enough- you want good oral sex don't date a dolphin. And that blowhole thing: it's not what you think it's for.
 
2013-01-07 06:55:52 PM
Maybe dolphin sex doesn't fit in with some company cultures.
 
2013-01-07 06:56:40 PM
He could get a reality show at MTV.
 
2013-01-07 06:57:30 PM
I had a picture of what this guy would look like before I clicked. Not dead on, but pretty close.
/nice sweater, unemployed dolphin-farker.
 
2013-01-07 06:59:07 PM
They killed flipper?

/obscure?
 
2013-01-07 06:59:56 PM
Dolphin-farking pervert cannot get a job.
Nothing to see here, citizen.
 
2013-01-07 07:01:29 PM
I think I read this in a Carl Hiaasen book once.
 
2013-01-07 07:01:53 PM
San Francisco. What a surprise.
 
2013-01-07 07:05:11 PM
Does not approve:
images.tvrage.com
 
2013-01-07 07:06:45 PM
Interspecies erotica thread!
 
2013-01-07 07:07:35 PM
So dolphin farking makes him not a good fit with the cultures of many offices? This one I can stand behind because, eww, dolphin farking. At least try and be respectable about your beast farking.
 
2013-01-07 07:08:00 PM
So it never got kinky?

Isn't sex with a dolphin kinky enough, Matt?


Ok, I lol'd.
 
2013-01-07 07:09:53 PM
What the fark did I just read...
 
2013-01-07 07:09:56 PM
FTFA: Brenner was raised in a family that believed in the works of Wilhelm Reich, the Austrian psychoanalyst who believed in preventing the "armoring" of children from birth through a process called "vegetotherapy," which looked to establish a patient's "orgasm reflex" and "orgastic potency," which Reich described as "The ability for total surrender to the involuntary contractions of the organism and the complete discharge of the excitation at the acme of the genital embrace."

I kind of feel bad for the guy, he was molested at a young age, and was forced into a cult. His parents never did anything about it. No wonder he is screwed up. Since the cult had to deal with psychology, he probably has huge trust issues with the field to get any sort of help.
 
2013-01-07 07:10:14 PM
Well, at least he didn't drop acid with the dolphin while trying to make it learn English.

/government experiments are hilarious
//Source, item 4
 
2013-01-07 07:11:36 PM
He should write a Broadway Play...

Dolphinf*cker, The Musical

It's be huge...-ly empty during it's run!

// LOLING at this
 
2013-01-07 07:11:42 PM
emotibot.net
 
2013-01-07 07:12:14 PM
This isn't that weird creeper that was on reddit, was it?

...That sounds really vague, actually.
 
2013-01-07 07:12:46 PM

bugmn99: So it never got kinky?

Isn't sex with a dolphin kinky enough, Matt?

Ok, I lol'd.


So did I. A lot.
 
2013-01-07 07:13:41 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-01-07 07:14:01 PM

phlegmmo: Maybe he should think about animal husbandry as a career.


GIS for animal husbandry:

s3-ec.buzzfed.com
 
2013-01-07 07:14:21 PM
This was actually a very interesting article. The foundations of his theories are no more crazy than the current Republican party.

Don't get me wrong, I am not that open minded, but I respect his ideas.

/also believes dolphins are on par with human cognitive abilities.
//sticks to his own species.
 
2013-01-07 07:15:35 PM

KhamanV: This isn't that weird creeper that was on reddit, was it?

...That sounds really vague, actually.


2.bp.blogspot.com

Oh, hi.
 
2013-01-07 07:16:15 PM
www.dangerhere.com
 
2013-01-07 07:17:59 PM
Man... Christopher Walken has fallen on hard times...

blogs.sfweekly.com
www.bill-johnson.com
 
2013-01-07 07:18:23 PM
Hot Damn! He's going to Sea World Floridaland!

// oblig
 
2013-01-07 07:21:11 PM
Seems like a pretty urbane dude, good sense of humor. But I think he's more upfront with his past than most people would be comfortable with. "Hey, how's the car?" "It's fine. Fine. Leaks a little oil, like that dolphin I farked." "Paper or plastic, sir?" "Paper, please. Plastic harms dolphins, including that one I farked."

Just sayin, maybe some things can wait until the third date to spill, a'ight?
 
2013-01-07 07:21:11 PM

demonfaerie: FTFA: Brenner was raised in a family that believed in the works of Wilhelm Reich, the Austrian psychoanalyst who believed in preventing the "armoring" of children from birth through a process called "vegetotherapy," which looked to establish a patient's "orgasm reflex" and "orgastic potency," which Reich described as "The ability for total surrender to the involuntary contractions of the organism and the complete discharge of the excitation at the acme of the genital embrace."

I kind of feel bad for the guy, he was molested at a young age, and was forced into a cult. His parents never did anything about it. No wonder he is screwed up. Since the cult had to deal with psychology, he probably has huge trust issues with the field to get any sort of help.


Way to suck the fun out of this thread.

/agree w you
//whenever I remember the Catholic guilt - which is often even though I haven't gone to Mass in like 5 years - I'll now think "well, that's annoying, but at least I never had sex with a dolphin"
 
2013-01-07 07:21:46 PM
i have known some people who would be considered odd by most standards.


but that's farked up, even by MY standards, and i'm generous(ie; my dog-farking roommate, and that i never flipped out on her for it.).
 
2013-01-07 07:22:37 PM
I guess you guys missed out on dolphinsex.org (came out around the same time as goatse.. long gone now)
 
2013-01-07 07:22:38 PM
so? the dolphin wanted human sex, the human wanted dolphin sex. she was happy, he was happy. he felt like sharing his story. good for them both.

hell i knew a female dog and a female cat who had a torrid love affair. so what. they were both happy.

or should i be all closed minded like "it's wrong, because society pressures me to believe it's wrong!"
 
2013-01-07 07:22:44 PM

the_vegetarian_cannibal: phlegmmo: Maybe he should think about animal husbandry as a career.

GIS for animal husbandry:


It's important to have a career that makes a difference, boys.
 
2013-01-07 07:23:13 PM
Uhhh *takes cats off of him*

Ill just take those LOL
 
2013-01-07 07:25:16 PM

my alt's alt's alt: so? the dolphin wanted human sex, the human wanted dolphin sex. she was happy, he was happy. he felt like sharing his story. good for them both.

hell i knew a female dog and a female cat who had a torrid love affair. so what. they were both happy.

or should i be all closed minded like "it's wrong, because society pressures me to believe it's wrong!"


On my phone, but iirc I tend to agree with Dan Savage that the animal can't really give consent.

/even if I wasn't I'm not about to put "savage love animal sex consent" into Google.
 
2013-01-07 07:26:39 PM
This beats out what some chicks will do for a fin.
 
2013-01-07 07:28:42 PM

buttery_shame_cave: i have known some people who would be considered odd by most standards.


but that's farked up, even by MY standards, and i'm generous(ie; my dog-farking roommate, and that i never flipped out on her for it.).


Is she single?  I mean, are there any dogs in her life right now?
 
2013-01-07 07:29:16 PM
there used to a be a farker who's name rhymed with 'porgor' that once posted a link to a pic of a guy on the bottom of the pool and a female dolphin just above him. they were ...umm......joined....

i don't know if he was banned or just left.
 
2013-01-07 07:29:27 PM

StreetlightInTheGhetto: my alt's alt's alt: so? the dolphin wanted human sex, the human wanted dolphin sex. she was happy, he was happy. he felt like sharing his story. good for them both.

hell i knew a female dog and a female cat who had a torrid love affair. so what. they were both happy.

or should i be all closed minded like "it's wrong, because society pressures me to believe it's wrong!"

On my phone, but iirc I tend to agree with Dan Savage that the animal can't really give consent.

/even if I wasn't I'm not about to put "savage love animal sex consent" into Google.


So if a male dolphin attempts to forcibly have sex with a human (they do), the dolphin hasn't consented and the human is attempting dolphin rape?
 
2013-01-07 07:29:39 PM
The seventies, man.
 
2013-01-07 07:31:28 PM
Because the fishy smell of a human vag just wasn't enough for him....
 
2013-01-07 07:32:20 PM
Meh, this is a test for if you're committed to being a liberal or just another flavor of fundy conservative.

Not the dolphin farking, but you're eww gross kneejerk responses.

We're just animals people. Not much better than the dog that humps your leg, when you get right down to it.

chosis.coldfusionvideo.com
Just go with it.

No less consensual than approaching any sort of lover with gestures instead of words.

How is it worse than homosexuality, or, say, incest among 2 consenting adults who are more or less sane as you or I?

Not saying I condone it mind you, just talking about the philosophy behind it. What makes sex with X creepy? Why is your hand or an inanimate object perfectly acceptable?

/all rhetorical, really
//the whole telepathy thing though, yeah, that's out there...
 
2013-01-07 07:32:51 PM
NAMDLA?
 
2013-01-07 07:33:19 PM
FTA: inside a San Francisco apartment, gently stroking one of the two cats occupying the room with us.

Wasn't looking for it, but, well.......
 
2013-01-07 07:33:37 PM
Hmmmm.....from San Fraancisco.
Why aren't I surprised ?
 
2013-01-07 07:34:35 PM
The dolphin game birth to a sperm whale nine months later
 
2013-01-07 07:34:36 PM
Should be a follow up. His book release was posted to Fark a while ago. I pretty much figured this was how his cunning plan would work out.

Also... the interviewer was an immature dick. Yeah the guy is freaky and IMO probably should have faced some kind of criminal charges but christ... grow up or at least be funny about your juvenile insults. Dude really took all those stupid jabs in stride. Gotta give him a little respect for that at least.

Still... ew.
 
2013-01-07 07:35:25 PM

Tanukis_Parachute: there used to a be a farker who's name rhymed with 'porgor' that once posted a link to a pic of a guy on the bottom of the pool and a female dolphin just above him. they were ...umm......joined....

i don't know if he was banned or just left.


Clicking his links was like tonguing a toothache. Ow! Why do I keep doing this?!
 
2013-01-07 07:35:42 PM
www.lolbrary.com
 
2013-01-07 07:36:02 PM
Shouldn't that be, meet the man who RAPED a dolphin? Since when can animals submit to sex with a human and full understand the consequences of their act? What if the dolphin got aids or herpes?
 
2013-01-07 07:37:04 PM

KhamanV: This isn't that weird creeper that was on reddit, was it?

...That sounds really vague, actually.


img132.imageshack.us
This guy?
 
2013-01-07 07:37:16 PM
I wonder. Did she get hers?

/digusting
 
2013-01-07 07:37:47 PM
www.venturefans.org
 
2013-01-07 07:37:52 PM
Animals have gay sex in nature = gay sex between humans is natural.

Animals have interspecies sex in nature = interspecies sex with humans is sick, those animals are just confused.


Not saying I would ever do this but if the dolphin wanted it who am I to judge? I could see it being a very spiritual experience.
 
2013-01-07 07:38:04 PM

Jaws_Victim: Shouldn't that be, meet the man who RAPED a dolphin? Since when can animals submit to sex with a human and full understand the consequences of their act? What if the dolphin got aids or herpes?


Please tell me you're joking
 
2013-01-07 07:41:02 PM
Yeah but was any of the encounters in front of a daycare with a dead dog?

/Can you top that?
 
2013-01-07 07:41:23 PM
Sounds like a Patriots fan.
They've been raping the Dolphins for years.
 
2013-01-07 07:41:23 PM
t0.gstatic.com
 
2013-01-07 07:45:12 PM

Rezurok: Jaws_Victim: Shouldn't that be, meet the man who RAPED a dolphin? Since when can animals submit to sex with a human and full understand the consequences of their act? What if the dolphin got aids or herpes?

Please tell me you're joking


Of course not. I am a firm disbeliever in trans speci-sexual relationships.
 
2013-01-07 07:45:29 PM
O........M........G.
 
2013-01-07 07:46:46 PM
Wut?

*not laughing*
 
2013-01-07 07:48:15 PM
media.screened.com
 
2013-01-07 07:48:28 PM
I'm not even going to touch the whole dolphin and other animal sex part, but if you do shiat like that, and write a book about it, USE A FARKING PEN NAME if you expect to be employed later in life.
 
2013-01-07 07:48:40 PM
PapaChester: This was actually a very interesting article. The foundations of his theories are no more crazy than the current Republican party.

Don't get me wrong, I am not that open minded, but I respect his ideas.

/also believes dolphins are on par with human cognitive abilities.
//sticks to his own species.

Y'know, getting beyond the sex (which I'm struggling to go beyond, btw), I'm not quick to disbelieve there was more than rudimentary two way communication between these two. Dozens of militaries and countless universities/marine mammalian research programs globally, over decades, have invested a lot of money studying dolphin aptitude for complex & abstract communication. It's not beyond the pale.

But still, he's quite sick....... listen, dolphin f*cker, it's US and THEM.

US.

Them.
 
2013-01-07 07:49:02 PM
This is where I draw the the line on ichthyophyllia.
www.thereelbits.com
If kissing a 20 year old naked Daryl Hannah underwater is wrong I don't want to be right.
 
2013-01-07 07:49:16 PM

St_Francis_P: I'm not sure if that beats sex with an armadillo, or not.


"Sir, I have this armadillo in car, and it's covered in my sperm. Should I  not have done that?"
 
2013-01-07 07:49:49 PM

The Bestest: I guess you guys missed out on dolphinsex.org (came out around the same time as goatse.. long gone now)


You sound old.

/so do I.
 
2013-01-07 07:50:26 PM
So long, and thanks for all the fist?
 
2013-01-07 07:50:57 PM
I think that "dolphin sex" was one of the first I memorable things I read on FARK or some other depraved site on the internet. It was actually a txt-Document, so it might even predate FARK and have been from the good old times of mailboxes, so Dolph-Porn has been one of the earliest companion of mankind surfing the net. Perhaps an ancient Farker remembers whether this text (not necessarily from this URL or in this layout) was ever featured on FARK?

Link

Anyway, the flipperbanger from this article was on FARK one year ago, so he seems to be milking the story like a dolphin in the heat.
 
2013-01-07 07:51:40 PM

ryant123: I think I read this in a Carl Hiaasen book once.


I snorted milk out of my blowhole.
 
2013-01-07 07:51:47 PM
Why do people have to say va-jay-jay? That really is the silliest 10 year old boy thing to say and it seems to be mainstream now, honestly can't stand it. Probably the most distasteful thing in the article, aside from the cat stroking. The rest was bad too
 
2013-01-07 07:52:12 PM

Fark Rye For Many Whores: KhamanV: This isn't that weird creeper that was on reddit, was it?

...That sounds really vague, actually.

[img132.imageshack.us image 850x776]
This guy?


Ugh. I hate people.
 
2013-01-07 07:53:08 PM
Wouldn't it be funny if the other dolphins think that the dolphin he farked was weird too?

"You farked a human?  What the fark were you thinking?"
 
2013-01-07 07:54:21 PM
Most middle aged white women have sex with their dogs
/Or so I heard
 
2013-01-07 07:54:34 PM
Well really, they did look like they were in love in that early photo.
Not surprised he can't get a good job, though. I mean really. What does he expect.
 
2013-01-07 07:54:45 PM

Jaws_Victim: Rezurok: Jaws_Victim: Shouldn't that be, meet the man who RAPED a dolphin? Since when can animals submit to sex with a human and full understand the consequences of their act? What if the dolphin got aids or herpes?

Please tell me you're joking

Of course not. I am a firm disbeliever in trans speci-sexual relationships.


You're so blinded by your Cis privilege you can't see the beauty of true love.
 
2013-01-07 07:55:17 PM

jake_lex: Wouldn't it be funny if the other dolphins think that the dolphin he farked was weird too?


Perhaps they're making fun of her on the inter-net.

Get it? NET? HAHAHAHAHA!!!

/It's not kelp, it's DARK.com
 
2013-01-07 07:57:11 PM

Bob_Laublaw: jake_lex: Wouldn't it be funny if the other dolphins think that the dolphin he farked was weird too?

Perhaps they're making fun of her on the inter-net.

Get it? NET? HAHAHAHAHA!!!

/It's not kelp, it's DARK.com


/To underweb
 
2013-01-07 07:57:27 PM
www.troll.me
 
2013-01-07 07:57:33 PM
Dude should have checked into things before getting into his bestiality kink; doesn't he know the only way one can get away with being so messed up sexually is to be really hot to the sex of your choice?
 
2013-01-07 07:57:35 PM
www.awf.org

Forever alone
 
2013-01-07 07:58:05 PM
I just finished reading Startide Rising, so getting a kick out of this thread.
/uplifted
 
2013-01-07 07:58:17 PM
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-01-07 07:58:57 PM

halB: Jaws_Victim: Rezurok: Jaws_Victim: Shouldn't that be, meet the man who RAPED a dolphin? Since when can animals submit to sex with a human and full understand the consequences of their act? What if the dolphin got aids or herpes?

Please tell me you're joking

Of course not. I am a firm disbeliever in trans speci-sexual relationships.

You're so blinded by your Cis privilege you can't see the beauty of true love.


How DARE you assume I hadn't checked my privilege before I posted that comment. I'll have you know I am operating under level 3 today, which means I can post any derogatory opinion I wish regarding rape comments. If you want to argue that Dolphin-Man sex is not rape, check YOUR privilege before we proceed, I won't debate less than a 6.
 
2013-01-07 07:59:01 PM

buttery_shame_cave: my dog-farking roommate


What a biatch.
 
2013-01-07 07:59:52 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-01-07 07:59:55 PM
San Francisco!
San Fransisco!
San Francisco!


www.createacashflowshow.com
 
2013-01-07 08:00:43 PM
Who knew dolphins had such low standards?
 
2013-01-07 08:01:51 PM

demonfaerie: FTFA: Brenner was raised in a family that believed in the works of Wilhelm Reich, the Austrian psychoanalyst who believed in preventing the "armoring" of children from birth through a process called "vegetotherapy," which looked to establish a patient's "orgasm reflex" and "orgastic potency," which Reich described as "The ability for total surrender to the involuntary contractions of the organism and the complete discharge of the excitation at the acme of the genital embrace."

I kind of feel bad for the guy, he was molested at a young age, and was forced into a cult. His parents never did anything about it. No wonder he is screwed up. Since the cult had to deal with psychology, he probably has huge trust issues with the field to get any sort of help.


This is why humanity never fails to scare me.
 
2013-01-07 08:02:11 PM
Who's the victim here? Besides us, I mean...
 
2013-01-07 08:02:53 PM
chztdwtease.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-01-07 08:07:22 PM
www.lolbrary.com

mantiseye.com

oyster.ignimgs.com
 
2013-01-07 08:07:23 PM

Bob_Laublaw: PapaChester: This was actually a very interesting article. The foundations of his theories are no more crazy than the current Republican party.

Don't get me wrong, I am not that open minded, but I respect his ideas.

/also believes dolphins are on par with human cognitive abilities.
//sticks to his own species.

Y'know, getting beyond the sex (which I'm struggling to go beyond, btw), I'm not quick to disbelieve there was more than rudimentary two way communication between these two. Dozens of militaries and countless universities/marine mammalian research programs globally, over decades, have invested a lot of money studying dolphin aptitude for complex & abstract communication. It's not beyond the pale.

But still, he's quite sick....... listen, dolphin f*cker, it's US and THEM.

US.

Them.


Sick? I dunno, humans have a long and storied history of farking anything with a pulse. A bit of an oddball perhaps, but from the article he seems to be fairly well adjusted, if a bit too forward. Does he have some kind of mental illness in need a treatment? I really doubt it. What he did was definitely weird and it inspires that "ick" reaction, but you know what? All he did was take thinking with his dick to the logical extremes, and in the process didn't hurt anybody, dolphin included. It's a shame he's having employment problems due to this, but it's really not surprising. As stated above, he should have used a pen name.
 
2013-01-07 08:11:08 PM
Sigh. Of course he was molested as a child.
Child molestation needs a harsher penalty than murder.
 
2013-01-07 08:11:53 PM

Mixolydian Master: [www.lolbrary.com image 475x640]

[mantiseye.com image 640x480]

[oyster.ignimgs.com image 600x450]


To dolphin
 
2013-01-07 08:13:37 PM

God-is-a-Taco: Sigh. Of course he was molested as a child.
Child molestation needs a harsher penalty than murder.


Desexing. Androgyny realized chemically. It can be done non-violently.
 
2013-01-07 08:13:46 PM
Brings a whole new meaning to this book ...

encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2013-01-07 08:13:56 PM

God-is-a-Taco: Sigh. Of course he was molested as a child.
Child molestation needs a harsher penalty than murder.


Anyone convicted of molestation should be raped by a dolphin. Let's bring this thing full-circle and jump through it.
 
2013-01-07 08:15:08 PM

Jaws_Victim: Shouldn't that be, meet the man who RAPED a dolphin? Since when can animals submit to sex with a human and full understand the consequences of their act? What if the dolphin got aids or herpes?


FYI, diseases don't work like that. Some bacterial infections can jump species, but most viruses can't. That's why cat's get FIV, apes get SIV and humans get HIV.
 
2013-01-07 08:15:34 PM
This dude needs help... on many levels. I'm thinking he probably hasn't had a chance since he was a kid. I hope he finds a therapist who will help him.

I can't process... I can't make sense of this... just too damn weird.

I know there is Rule 34, but what does this fall under? Is Zoophilia really a thing? :: ponders and considers googling :: Nope, nevermind, I don't want to see the results.
 
2013-01-07 08:16:03 PM
*clickwhirrKEEKEKEclick* means no.
 
2013-01-07 08:18:29 PM

indylaw: *clickwhirrKEEKEKEclick* means no.


Sometimes it means *clickKEEKEwhirrKEclick*, they just want to be chased.
 
2013-01-07 08:19:26 PM
 
2013-01-07 08:20:46 PM

J-stroy: Why do people have to say va-jay-jay? That really is the silliest 10 year old boy thing to say and it seems to be mainstream now, honestly can't stand it. Probably the most distasteful thing in the article, aside from the cat stroking. The rest was bad too


Yeah, the article's immature writing made me almost as uncomfortable as the subject.
 
2013-01-07 08:20:57 PM

Rezurok: Sick? I dunno, humans have a long and storied history of farking anything with a pulse. A bit of an oddball perhaps, but from the article he seems to be fairly well adjusted, if a bit too forward.


Although some dianosis are ultimately proved 'wrong' over the passage of time, I'm sticking with the DSM's inclusion/classification of bestiality & zoophilia when it comes to inter-species intimacy.
 
2013-01-07 08:22:13 PM
EVERYTHING else aside, he says that during the encounter, a male dolphin tried to break things up and the female basically carried the man to another enclosure for some privacy.

Sounds like consent to me.
 
2013-01-07 08:23:49 PM
 
2013-01-07 08:24:04 PM

omeganuepsilon: How is it worse than homosexuality,


As a conservative, I agree with you.
 
2013-01-07 08:24:45 PM

buttery_shame_cave: but that's farked up, even by MY standards, and i'm generous(ie; my dog-farking roommate, and that i never flipped out on her for it.).


Can we hear this story?
 
2013-01-07 08:31:08 PM

the_vegetarian_cannibal: phlegmmo: Maybe he should think about animal husbandry as a career.

GIS for animal husbandry:

[s3-ec.buzzfed.com image 600x340]


I've heard of quarter horses, but that's a new one.
 
2013-01-07 08:32:13 PM
Shall we indulge in rishathra?
 
2013-01-07 08:36:08 PM

James F. Campbell: buttery_shame_cave: but that's farked up, even by MY standards, and i'm generous(ie; my dog-farking roommate, and that i never flipped out on her for it.).

Can we hear this story?


yes please.
 
2013-01-07 08:37:51 PM

Thraeryn: EVERYTHING else aside, he says that during the encounter, a male dolphin tried to break things up and the female basically carried the man to another enclosure for some privacy.

Sounds like consent to me.


it also beat him up and dunked him under 12 ft of water when he tried to break off the relationship.

sounds like he was the one that got raped, if anything. whatevs its complicated yo \o/
 
2013-01-07 08:38:15 PM
Big deal. I'm not allowed in the petting zoo either.
 
2013-01-07 08:38:24 PM

StreetlightInTheGhetto: demonfaerie: FTFA: Brenner was raised in a family that believed in the works of Wilhelm Reich, the Austrian psychoanalyst who believed in preventing the "armoring" of children from birth through a process called "vegetotherapy," which looked to establish a patient's "orgasm reflex" and "orgastic potency," which Reich described as "The ability for total surrender to the involuntary contractions of the organism and the complete discharge of the excitation at the acme of the genital embrace."

I kind of feel bad for the guy, he was molested at a young age, and was forced into a cult. His parents never did anything about it. No wonder he is screwed up. Since the cult had to deal with psychology, he probably has huge trust issues with the field to get any sort of help.

Way to suck the fun out of this thread.

/agree w you
//whenever I remember the Catholic guilt - which is often even though I haven't gone to Mass in like 5 years - I'll now think "well, that's annoying, but at least I never had sex with a dolphin"


Sorry, but yeah I just can't make fun of someone that has such a farked up childhood. With that kind of cult, and having those types of parents, he didn't stand a chance of having a normal upbringing for him to have stable healthy relationships. It makes you kind of understand why he probably went and had sex with a dolphin, he didn't have to worry about the dolphin molesting him, and he had some control over the situation. Probably the first time he had control over anything when it comes to a "relationship" He knows it's not right, but he can't relate or handle things the way society wants him to, but he can only do with what feels comfortable to him.
 
2013-01-07 08:38:27 PM

erewhon: Shall we indulge in rishathra?


Only if consensually...
 
2013-01-07 08:38:28 PM

It's Me Bender: omeganuepsilon: How is it worse than homosexuality,

As a conservative, I agree with you.


Slow down sparky.

As a conservative, you also see homosexuality as somehow wrong or sick, or a choice, or the hundred other irrational reasons that they're lesser people?

As a centrist, I do not have such issues. What people do to other consenting people, I couldn't care less. I could do with less annoying mannerisms and flamboyancy than some put forth, but every walk of life has it's share of annoying assholes and I do not judge whole groups by the actions of the assholes.
 
2013-01-07 08:39:49 PM
I had to stop reading. he was molested as a kid. end of story. any kind of sexual assault (esp if it happens as a kid) will fark u up. some worse than others....
 
2013-01-07 08:40:15 PM

Rezurok: Bob_Laublaw: PapaChester: This was actually a very interesting article. The foundations of his theories are no more crazy than the current Republican party.

Don't get me wrong, I am not that open minded, but I respect his ideas.

/also believes dolphins are on par with human cognitive abilities.
//sticks to his own species.

Y'know, getting beyond the sex (which I'm struggling to go beyond, btw), I'm not quick to disbelieve there was more than rudimentary two way communication between these two. Dozens of militaries and countless universities/marine mammalian research programs globally, over decades, have invested a lot of money studying dolphin aptitude for complex & abstract communication. It's not beyond the pale.

But still, he's quite sick....... listen, dolphin f*cker, it's US and THEM.

US.

Them.

Sick? I dunno, humans have a long and storied history of farking anything with a pulse. A bit of an oddball perhaps, but from the article he seems to be fairly well adjusted, if a bit too forward. Does he have some kind of mental illness in need a treatment? I really doubt it. What he did was definitely weird and it inspires that "ick" reaction, but you know what? All he did was take thinking with his dick to the logical extremes, and in the process didn't hurt anybody, dolphin included. It's a shame he's having employment problems due to this, but it's really not surprising. As stated above, he should have used a pen name.


People who diddle kids often elaborate and spin the story in such a way you would think the kid wanted it. Do you believe them as well?
 
2013-01-07 08:40:42 PM
i3.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-07 08:45:22 PM

StreetlightInTheGhetto: demonfaerie: FTFA: Brenner was raised in a family that believed in the works of Wilhelm Reich, the Austrian psychoanalyst who believed in preventing the "armoring" of children from birth through a process called "vegetotherapy," which looked to establish a patient's "orgasm reflex" and "orgastic potency," which Reich described as "The ability for total surrender to the involuntary contractions of the organism and the complete discharge of the excitation at the acme of the genital embrace."

I kind of feel bad for the guy, he was molested at a young age, and was forced into a cult. His parents never did anything about it. No wonder he is screwed up. Since the cult had to deal with psychology, he probably has huge trust issues with the field to get any sort of help.

Way to suck the fun out of this thread.

/agree w you
//whenever I remember the Catholic guilt - which is often even though I haven't gone to Mass in like 5 years - I'll now think "well, that's annoying, but at least I never had sex with a dolphin"


Where is that commandment?

/The Lord works in mysterious ways
 
2013-01-07 08:45:46 PM

illbeinmybunk: I had to stop reading. he was molested as a kid. end of story. any kind of sexual assault (esp if it happens as a kid) will fark u up. some worse than others....


So stopping reading is healing the problem? ACT.
 
2013-01-07 08:46:05 PM
Do you think this guy dug passion in the dessert?
 
2013-01-07 08:46:15 PM
I've always wondered what animal orgasms are like. Pigs' go on for 30 minutes? If that's anything like the standard, no wonder male mammals are out for blood every season.
 
2013-01-07 08:47:09 PM

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: e petting zoo eith



p.twimg.com
awkward school field trip, too?
 
2013-01-07 08:47:10 PM

Indubitably: illbeinmybunk: I had to stop reading. he was molested as a kid. end of story. any kind of sexual assault (esp if it happens as a kid) will fark u up. some worse than others....

So stopping reading is healing the problem? ACT.


Shield children from crime at all times, and that's that. Word and peace.
 
2013-01-07 08:49:14 PM

buttery_shame_cave: i have known some people who would be considered odd by most standards.


but that's farked up, even by MY standards, and i'm generous(ie; my dog-farking roommate, and that i never flipped out on her for it.).


Fav'd as 'has dog farking roommate'.

First time I've used that description
 
2013-01-07 08:50:15 PM

demonfaerie: StreetlightInTheGhetto: demonfaerie: FTFA: Brenner was raised in a family that believed in the works of Wilhelm Reich, the Austrian psychoanalyst who believed in preventing the "armoring" of children from birth through a process called "vegetotherapy," which looked to establish a patient's "orgasm reflex" and "orgastic potency," which Reich described as "The ability for total surrender to the involuntary contractions of the organism and the complete discharge of the excitation at the acme of the genital embrace."

I kind of feel bad for the guy, he was molested at a young age, and was forced into a cult. His parents never did anything about it. No wonder he is screwed up. Since the cult had to deal with psychology, he probably has huge trust issues with the field to get any sort of help.

Way to suck the fun out of this thread.

/agree w you
//whenever I remember the Catholic guilt - which is often even though I haven't gone to Mass in like 5 years - I'll now think "well, that's annoying, but at least I never had sex with a dolphin"

Sorry, but yeah I just can't make fun of someone that has such a farked up childhood. With that kind of cult, and having those types of parents, he didn't stand a chance of having a normal upbringing for him to have stable healthy relationships. It makes you kind of understand why he probably went and had sex with a dolphin, he didn't have to worry about the dolphin molesting him, and he had some control over the situation. Probably the first time he had control over anything when it comes to a "relationship" He knows it's not right, but he can't relate or handle things the way society wants him to, but he can only do with what feels comfortable to him.


Blah, blah, blah. So, how many dolphins have you been around?
 
2013-01-07 08:50:46 PM
demonfaerie
he had some control over the situation

I see you skipped over the whole 400lb aquatic predator armed with 80 teeth that can disarm a Navy SEAL in 2 seconds and nearly killed him part...
 
2013-01-07 08:51:47 PM

equusdc: demonfaerie
he had some control over the situation

I see you skipped over the whole 400lb aquatic predator armed with 80 teeth that can disarm a Navy SEAL in 2 seconds and nearly killed him part...


ORKA!
 
2013-01-07 08:52:20 PM
userserve-ak.last.fm
 
2013-01-07 08:52:20 PM

liam76: People who diddle kids often elaborate and spin the story in such a way you would think the kid wanted it. Do you believe them as well?


Not all of us are that dim, please speak for yourself.

Besides. Society has deemed a legal age for "kids", even if the "kid" did want it.

There is a distinction that needs be made there. It is not a mental illness(or rather it's a hotly debated topic), for people to want to have sex with younger people still capable of procreation. For thousands of years it's been one way man has had of ensuring the offspring was his. The only thing that's changed is society and it's idea's of morals.

Similarly masturbation and homosexuality. These aren't even for the purposes of reproduction, just enjoyment. Neither of these is considered a mental illness any more by any reputable standard like the DSM(though they used to be).

If you want to describe precisely how it's "wrong", do that. Do not attempt to try and play morality police by associating X with Z. It may work with some, but it won't fly here.
 
2013-01-07 08:52:41 PM

Indubitably: equusdc: demonfaerie
he had some control over the situation

I see you skipped over the whole 400lb aquatic predator armed with 80 teeth that can disarm a Navy SEAL in 2 seconds and nearly killed him part...

ORKA!


Orca.
 
2013-01-07 08:53:02 PM

buttery_shame_cave: i have known some people who would be considered odd by most standards.


but that's farked up, even by MY standards, and i'm generous(ie; my dog-farking roommate, and that i never flipped out on her for it.).


Pics? Maybe?
 
2013-01-07 08:53:47 PM

Indubitably: Indubitably: equusdc: demonfaerie
he had some control over the situation

I see you skipped over the whole 400lb aquatic predator armed with 80 teeth that can disarm a Navy SEAL in 2 seconds and nearly killed him part...

ORKA!

Orca.


Orcinusorca

And that's that.
 
2013-01-07 08:54:20 PM

equusdc: demonfaerie
he had some control over the situation

I see you skipped over the whole 400lb aquatic predator armed with 80 teeth that can disarm a Navy SEAL in 2 seconds and nearly killed him part...


He instigated the sex with the dolphin, there fore he had SOME control of the situation with the dolphin. It's not like the dolphin was like oh yeah take me now biatch.
 
2013-01-07 08:54:44 PM

Indubitably: Indubitably: Indubitably: equusdc: demonfaerie
he had some control over the situation

I see you skipped over the whole 400lb aquatic predator armed with 80 teeth that can disarm a Navy SEAL in 2 seconds and nearly killed him part...

ORKA!

Orca.

Orcinusorca

And that's that.


To shaman
 
2013-01-07 08:56:52 PM

the_vegetarian_cannibal: phlegmmo: Maybe he should think about animal husbandry as a career.

GIS for animal husbandry:

[s3-ec.buzzfed.com image 600x340]


I gotta get me one of those.

/That was possibly the most farked up thing I've ever read online. Except maybe the guy who had anal sex with a horse and died from internal injuries
 
2013-01-07 08:57:01 PM

liam76: Rezurok: Bob_Laublaw: PapaChester: This was actually a very interesting article. The foundations of his theories are no more crazy than the current Republican party.

Don't get me wrong, I am not that open minded, but I respect his ideas.

/also believes dolphins are on par with human cognitive abilities.
//sticks to his own species.

Y'know, getting beyond the sex (which I'm struggling to go beyond, btw), I'm not quick to disbelieve there was more than rudimentary two way communication between these two. Dozens of militaries and countless universities/marine mammalian research programs globally, over decades, have invested a lot of money studying dolphin aptitude for complex & abstract communication. It's not beyond the pale.

But still, he's quite sick....... listen, dolphin f*cker, it's US and THEM.

US.

Them.

Sick? I dunno, humans have a long and storied history of farking anything with a pulse. A bit of an oddball perhaps, but from the article he seems to be fairly well adjusted, if a bit too forward. Does he have some kind of mental illness in need a treatment? I really doubt it. What he did was definitely weird and it inspires that "ick" reaction, but you know what? All he did was take thinking with his dick to the logical extremes, and in the process didn't hurt anybody, dolphin included. It's a shame he's having employment problems due to this, but it's really not surprising. As stated above, he should have used a pen name.

People who diddle kids often elaborate and spin the story in such a way you would think the kid wanted it. Do you believe them as well?


Little kids, as in, before the age of sexual maturity? That's different and it should be obvious why. Not to mention the fact that the little kid is typically not twice the size of said diddler and capable of drowning them if they so choose.
 
2013-01-07 08:57:42 PM
Okra?
 
2013-01-07 08:58:59 PM

gas giant: Okra?


Nice 42.
 
2013-01-07 09:02:18 PM

GoldSpider: San Francisco. What a surprise.


As if the Deep South has nothing to hide...

/SQUEEEEEAAAAAAALLLL
 
2013-01-07 09:02:47 PM

KidneyStone: the_vegetarian_cannibal: phlegmmo: Maybe he should think about animal husbandry as a career.

GIS for animal husbandry:

[s3-ec.buzzfed.com image 600x340]

I gotta get me one of those.

/That was possibly the most farked up thing I've ever read online. Except maybe the guy who had anal sex with a horse and died from internal injuries


Wait, where does farking your girlfriends dead dog in front of a daycare stand?

/Pages IXI JIM IXI
//Ha! He still had a link to it in his profile.
 
2013-01-07 09:02:57 PM

The Bestest: I guess you guys missed out on dolphinsex.org (came out around the same time as goatse.. long gone now)


Was it .org, or also .cx?
 
2013-01-07 09:03:00 PM

Tanukis_Parachute: there used to a be a farker who's name rhymed with 'porgor' that once posted a link to a pic of a guy on the bottom of the pool and a female dolphin just above him. they were ...umm......joined....

i don't know if he was banned or just left.


i miss that guy
 
2013-01-07 09:03:45 PM
*vomits*
 
2013-01-07 09:05:12 PM

Gergesa: *vomits*


Fell better?

I knew you would.
 
2013-01-07 09:07:13 PM

Rezurok: Not to mention the fact that the little kid is typically not twice the size of said diddler and capable of drowning them if they so choose.


Nor do kids generally dry hump people. Of course, if it's in a pool, is still a dry hump?

I did forget the disclaimer, that we take the article at face value.

Sure, it's possible it wasn't consensual at all and actual rape(ie non-consent) was involved, but with no way of knowing, and having seen all kinds of animals get sexual with other species and genders and even inanimate objects, it is believable.

Sure, if a dog is humping your leg and you reach down to finish him off, sure, it's gross, but rape is not implicit.

media.south-parkx.info

And let's not equivocate consensual but statutory rape with nonconsensual rape via coercion (or unconsciousness).
 
2013-01-07 09:08:03 PM
/yes, I said rape many times
 
2013-01-07 09:08:40 PM
filmfanatic.org
 
2013-01-07 09:09:36 PM
ecx.images-amazon.com
In this issue my 2nd cousin had a pictorial of her swimming with dolphins. Nude. Family is chock full of disfunction, so dont mind posting,,
 
2013-01-07 09:13:13 PM
The most disturbing part of this is that, if he's recalling the experience correctly, I find it difficult to say that what he did equals cruelty to animals. My justification for laws prohibiting sex with animals has been that animals can't form consent, but it doesn't sound like that's the case here. Assuming that he's not full of shiat, which I really really want to believe.

Oh and I guess the whole "Sex cult abuse as a child" thing is disturbing too. But at least predictably disturbing.
 
2013-01-07 09:18:52 PM
frustrating lack of kitty porn in thread

/watchlist, I is on it now
 
2013-01-07 09:23:43 PM

Richard Roma: The most disturbing part of this is that, if he's recalling the experience correctly, I find it difficult to say that what he did equals cruelty to animals


That's pretty much a lot of people's take on it here.

Sure, the guy is odd, but any sort of persecution for that when we've all got our own oddities is, well, sort of pointless and hypocritical.

We still need the law, there are people who will do so with less...empathy... for the animals.

That's part of the reason that a lot of laws are on the books, especially in the military. It's not like half of them are ever looked for or enforced, but when you come under review..It's so when you do fark up seriously, there are a plethora of charges that you will get nailed with.
 
2013-01-07 09:25:26 PM
Finn: Jake, do you think she was human, or just another wild animal?
Jake: We're all wild animals, brother.
Finn: Yeah... I guess we are... brother.
 
2013-01-07 09:30:06 PM

SteakMan: The Bestest: I guess you guys missed out on dolphinsex.org (came out around the same time as goatse.. long gone now)

Was it .org, or also .cx?


I don't remember there being a cx., but I remember .org, and being disappointed when it disappeared one day.

/not that old, just got a solid head start
 
2013-01-07 09:34:59 PM
img140.imageshack.us
 
2013-01-07 09:39:04 PM
So long and thanks for all the dicks.
 
2013-01-07 09:39:59 PM
Well, you know, if you're going to have sex with an animal, a dolphin is probably the best choice. I mean, they're pretty smart and have sex for pleasure.

Not that I would have sex with a dolphin.

Just, you know, if you have to.
 
2013-01-07 09:42:05 PM

Apos: [img140.imageshack.us image 720x480]


Seriously? Gotcha. *)
 
2013-01-07 09:44:09 PM
Adam and Steve = OK   Malcolm and Flipper not so much.
 
2013-01-07 09:46:33 PM

Fark Rye For Many Whores: KhamanV: This isn't that weird creeper that was on reddit, was it?

...That sounds really vague, actually.


This guy?


That's gotta be either a cop or a troll, right? Seriously, nobody's THAT depraved.
 
2013-01-07 09:49:15 PM
What? I don't even...


What? Seriously...like. What?
 
2013-01-07 09:56:11 PM

Raw_fishFood: Well, you know, if you're going to have sex with an animal, a dolphin is probably the best choice.


Cetacean needed
 
2013-01-07 10:05:45 PM

gas giant: Raw_fishFood: Well, you know, if you're going to have sex with an animal, a dolphin is probably the best choice.

Cetacean needed


Nice
 
2013-01-07 10:12:08 PM

Monophtalmos: I think that "dolphin sex" was one of the first I memorable things I read on FARK or some other depraved site on the internet. It was actually a txt-Document, so it might even predate FARK and have been from the good old times of mailboxes, so Dolph-Porn has been one of the earliest companion of mankind surfing the net. Perhaps an ancient Farker remembers whether this text (not necessarily from this URL or in this layout) was ever featured on FARK?

Link

Anyway, the flipperbanger from this article was on FARK one year ago, so he seems to be milking the story like a dolphin in the heat.


Not sure, but I came in here to mention I'd read that thing too. That, and on USENET way back in the day, somewhere (alt.tasteless most likely) I read some really long how-to guide for having sex with dogs, as a woman. Just... wut? One of those "I'm horrified, but can't stop reading this, I have to see how far it goes" things...
 
2013-01-07 10:21:36 PM

Darth Vader Ginsburg: [ecx.images-amazon.com image 500x500]
In this issue my 2nd cousin had a pictorial of her swimming with dolphins. Nude. Family is chock full of disfunction, so dont mind posting,,


It's a shame she never got those sweater dolphins out.

Dolly, I mean.
 
2013-01-07 10:21:41 PM
I'm reading this on my phone with Dolphin browser and whenever it force closes and all my open tabs disappear I say "Fark Dolphin!"
So I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

/hope he finds a job
//maybe at Marine World?
 
2013-01-07 10:45:09 PM
Perhaps the best laugh I got was when Dan Savage had a radio interview with someone who married a horse. As the music signalling the commercial break started up, Dan asked if the horse was male or female. The guy was indignant,like no! I'm not into teh ghey!
 
2013-01-07 10:49:05 PM

demonfaerie: FTFA: Brenner was raised in a family that believed in the works of Wilhelm Reich, the Austrian psychoanalyst who believed in preventing the "armoring" of children from birth through a process called "vegetotherapy," which looked to establish a patient's "orgasm reflex" and "orgastic potency," which Reich described as "The ability for total surrender to the involuntary contractions of the organism and the complete discharge of the excitation at the acme of the genital embrace."

I kind of feel bad for the guy, he was molested at a young age, and was forced into a cult. His parents never did anything about it. No wonder he is screwed up. Since the cult had to deal with psychology, he probably has huge trust issues with the field to get any sort of help.


I was reading this and hoping to get a chuckle, but I came to that part of the story and actually felt bad for the guy. His parents allowed him to be molested repeatedly at a young age while they were in some weird sexual cult. He never had a chance.
 
2013-01-07 10:56:40 PM
images4.wikia.nocookie.net
Totally understands.
 
2013-01-07 10:57:16 PM

Raw_fishFood: Well, you know, if you're going to have sex with an animal, a dolphin is probably the best choice. I mean, they're pretty smart and have sex for pleasure.

Not that I would have sex with a dolphin.

Just, you know, if you have to.


*Looks at username.
Sounds about right.
 
2013-01-07 11:10:37 PM
I'm ok with this.

I completely agree with Brenner in that the notion of a human raping a 400lb dolphin in deep water is ridiculous. If he farked that dolphin, it's only because she was into it. she could easily have killed him any time she wanted to.

There is a world of difference, I think, between farking a poor dog you've got pinned to the floor and getting it on with a cetacean who feels like experimenting.

Heck, I've got nothing against women who fark their dogs - provided, again, they aren't pinning them to the ground. I know my dog would've loved to fark ANYTHING with a pulse (and that last part is more like a guideline) when he was in hump-crazy season.
 
2013-01-07 11:12:49 PM

Raw_fishFood: Well, you know, if you're going to have sex with an animal, a dolphin is probably the best choice. I mean, they're pretty smart and have sex for pleasure.
Not that I would have sex with a dolphin.
Just, you know, if you have to.


A dolphin or a gorilla? Why are you asking me that? How did I get here?

A gorilla, so we could cuddle later. And not drown.
 
2013-01-07 11:13:30 PM
Cannot view article - it keeps trying to get me to save it as a .php file. Not having this problem with any other articles... what am I doing wrong?

Speaking of .php, though -- my company is looking to hire a .php developer if anyone with that skill set looking for job. Can be local (Atlanta area) or telecommute.
 
2013-01-07 11:19:34 PM

djkutch: I've always wondered what animal orgasms are like. Pigs' go on for 30 minutes? If that's anything like the standard, no wonder male mammals are out for blood every season.


s3.amazonaws.com
 
2013-01-07 11:25:02 PM
Pig o-face courtesy of Oatmeal.
 
2013-01-07 11:30:50 PM
img38.imageshack.us
 
2013-01-07 11:44:46 PM
CSB:  The closed theme park where he farked the dolphin was called Floridaland, and I went there as a child in the mid 1960s. I remember the dolphin shows they had (which did not include farking.). A few years after this guy did the deed with Dolly dolphin, the park was sold and turned into an upscale residential development and the dolphin arena turned into a marina. My parents lived there for 30 years.

/CSB
 
2013-01-07 11:51:22 PM
 
2013-01-08 12:01:08 AM

2xhelix:


"This I can flap to!" ???
 
2013-01-08 12:10:48 AM
... I'm okay with this.

As other's have stated up thread, dolphins are smart and have sex for pleasure, as do humans, and if she was allowing him to fark her and not killing him, then I'd take that as consent.

The interviewer was a douche. I wish the article was more professionally written because this guy seems pretty interesting.

/remembers dolphinsex.org
 
2013-01-08 12:13:43 AM

Spanky McStupid: Brings a whole new meaning to this book ...

[encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com image 225x225]


More like dolphin tail, amirite?
 
2013-01-08 12:39:27 AM
I can't make a judgement about this until the dolphin's book comes out. Until then its just, he said...
 
2013-01-08 12:43:00 AM
After reading this I don't thing I will ever watch another Flipper re-run with the same youthful innocence again.
 
2013-01-08 12:43:41 AM

gas giant: Cetacean needed


For what porpoise?

MagSeven: *Looks at username.
Sounds about right.


Oh... No, no, name is from... a different perversion.
 
2013-01-08 12:47:37 AM
images.wikia.com
 
2013-01-08 01:07:53 AM
Aye, but he fark one dolphin..
 
2013-01-08 01:29:29 AM
"va-jay-jay"? Really? Matt Saincome, do the world a favor and kill yourself.
 
2013-01-08 01:53:18 AM
The result of his illicit cross-order union:

images.wikia.com
 
2013-01-08 02:08:48 AM
mmimageslarge.moviemail-online.co.uk
 
2013-01-08 02:44:46 AM
This guy's the Humbert Humbert of zoophiles.

/even spins the same imaginary yarns and lame justifications
//apparently unironically and even unintentionally
 
2013-01-08 02:46:23 AM

The MerMAN finds this relevant to his interests.



media2.onsugar.com
 
2013-01-08 02:51:30 AM

James F. Campbell: buttery_shame_cave: but that's farked up, even by MY standards, and i'm generous(ie; my dog-farking roommate, and that i never flipped out on her for it.).

Can we hear this story?


not a lot to tell. i wound up on a short-notice trip out of town, and when i came back, well, i suppose i should have called ahead but it was later in the evening and all so figured no bother.

i open the door and bam, right in front of the living room couch. the look of terror and panic on her face was pretty memorable.

all i could do/say was 'sorry, pardon me' and go into my bedroom and start unpacking.

ten minutes or so go by, and knock on the bedroom door. she's straightened herself out, gotten dressed(shame, cause she was good looking and i hadn't had an opportunity before catching her ah, occupied. but best that she did so in the circumstances), and looked REALLY upset.

this led to one of the most surreal conversations i've ever had about her history and all that. like, we downed the whole half-gallon of sorbet i'd made the week before, AND killed both six-packs of cider, surreal.

long story short, i decided that who was i to judge by who/what/how she did with her genitals, as they were HERS.

roomed together for the rest of the year-lease, when she moved. awesome roomie. great cook, clean, good sense of humor, low drama, and never drug sketchy guys into the apartment to 'crash for like, a weekend'. granted once i knew why, that last bit made TOTAL sense.

and if i should hear a moan or a whimper through the wall, i just put the earbuds in and flipped on the mp3 player, and went back to sleep.


great roommate, awesome person overall, just god-damned KINKY.
 
2013-01-08 03:00:03 AM
but he drew the line with the blow hole?
 
Esn
2013-01-08 05:33:11 AM

duenor: I'm ok with this.

I completely agree with Brenner in that the notion of a human raping a 400lb dolphin in deep water is ridiculous. If he farked that dolphin, it's only because she was into it. she could easily have killed him any time she wanted to.

There is a world of difference, I think, between farking a poor dog you've got pinned to the floor and getting it on with a cetacean who feels like experimenting.

Heck, I've got nothing against women who fark their dogs - provided, again, they aren't pinning them to the ground. I know my dog would've loved to fark ANYTHING with a pulse (and that last part is more like a guideline) when he was in hump-crazy season.


Yeah... most of the opposition to this is from the sheer "yuck" factor, i.e. the same reason why many conservatives don't like homosexuality. (it's also been proven that conservatives are more likely to feel the emotion of disgust than liberals)

Dislike the guy if you like, but don't pretend that it's for some sort of high-minded philosophical reason - all of your negative feelings are because you have an automatic reaction of disgust deep in the lower regions of your brain (a reaction which evolution put there so that people wouldn't waste their sexual energies on things that wouldn't lead to healthy offspring. The same reason many people are disgusted by incest, homosexuality, and yes, masturbation too).
Most people don't cross-examine their natural reactions to see if they're actually valid in a particular situation because that feels too much like admitting that free will may be illusory.
 
2013-01-08 07:38:39 AM
basementrejects.com
♪*Verse 1*
I've been so lonely girl, I've been so sad and down
Couldn't understand why haters joked around
I wanted to be free with other creatures like me
And now I got my wish, cause i know that I'm a gay fish (gay fish)

*Chorus*
(Gay fish Yo) mother farkin' gay fish
(I'm a fish yo) goin' on a gay fish
(It's alright girl) makin' love to other gay fish

*Verse 2*
All those lonely nights at the grocery store
In the frozen fish aisle feelin' like a whore
Cause I wasn't being true
Even though everyone said that I had to make a switch
(Gay fish) now I know that I'm a gay fish (gay fish)

*Chorus*
(Gay fish Yo) mother farkin' gay fish
(I'm a fish yo) Goin' on a gay fish
(Now I'm where i belong girl) makin' love to other gay fish

*Verse 3 Rap*
I used to be scared, denying who I was
Acting straight but then going out to the gay fish clubs
Dancing with the Marlins making out with the all the Snappers
I'd take a Salmon home and work that Coddle Fin for hours
But now I'm out and I'm free to love what I want
Be it Yellow Fin or Bass or them trout in Vermont
I slapped that Holland ass, make that Grouper butt shake
I'll come to your house and have an orgy in your motherfarkin' fish tank (fish tank, fish tank)

*Chorus*
Mother farkin' gay fish
(I'm a fish yo) Goin' on a gay fish
(Yeah now I'm where i belong girl) makin' love to other gay fish

*Verse 4*
I really get around I'm the slut of the sea
When i say I've got crabs I mean it literally
I was eating dinner and just had to go down on that Mackerel on the dish
Cause I'm the gayest of the gay fish (gay fish)

*Chorus*
Mother farkin' gay fish
(I'm a fish yo) Goin' on a gay fish
Yeah now I'm where i belong girl

*Verse 5*
But I gotta settle down I can't be a whore
I ain't gonna just sleep with any fish no more
I've found me a lover, a brother who's a cross-dressing Cod named Trish
And together we are gay fish (gay fish)

*Chorus*
(Gay fish yo) motherfarkin' gay fish
(I'm a fish yo) goin' on a gay fish
(Yeah, now I'm where i belong girl) makin' love to other gay fish
(Gay fish, gay fish, gay fish, gay fish, gay fish, gay fish...) ♫
 
2013-01-08 08:58:54 AM
Blow hole. That is all.
 
2013-01-08 09:12:11 AM

Ed Finnerty: indylaw: *clickwhirrKEEKEKEclick* means no.

Sometimes it means *clickKEEKEwhirrKEclick*, they just want to be chased.


C'mon man, it's common decency! Don't CLICK n tell.
 
2013-01-08 09:38:02 AM

Jeff_in_ATL: What the fark did I just read...


Agreed. Oh for the love of God - agreed.

/trying to decide what will "undo" this brain damage. Horse sex maybe? Sheep? Maybe a good 'ol fashioned dog?
 
2013-01-08 10:34:40 AM
And We Think The World Of You.
 
2013-01-08 10:59:15 AM
It was an interesting read, but then again, hearing serial killers try to explain their rational is an interesting read too... still batshiat crazy, but interesting examination of their crazy mind.
 
2013-01-08 11:57:55 AM

Esn: duenor: I'm ok with this.

I completely agree with Brenner in that the notion of a human raping a 400lb dolphin in deep water is ridiculous. If he farked that dolphin, it's only because she was into it. she could easily have killed him any time she wanted to.

There is a world of difference, I think, between farking a poor dog you've got pinned to the floor and getting it on with a cetacean who feels like experimenting.

Heck, I've got nothing against women who fark their dogs - provided, again, they aren't pinning them to the ground. I know my dog would've loved to fark ANYTHING with a pulse (and that last part is more like a guideline) when he was in hump-crazy season.

Yeah... most of the opposition to this is from the sheer "yuck" factor, i.e. the same reason why many conservatives don't like homosexuality. (it's also been proven that conservatives are more likely to feel the emotion of disgust than liberals)

Dislike the guy if you like, but don't pretend that it's for some sort of high-minded philosophical reason - all of your negative feelings are because you have an automatic reaction of disgust deep in the lower regions of your brain (a reaction which evolution put there so that people wouldn't waste their sexual energies on things that wouldn't lead to healthy offspring. The same reason many people are disgusted by incest, homosexuality, and yes, masturbation too).
Most people don't cross-examine their natural reactions to see if they're actually valid in a particular situation because that feels too much like admitting that free will may be illusory.


All of this.

What's amusing is the conservative anger is representative of lacking rationality. Even as they condemn others for being 'sick" they're revealing their own faults.(well, one facet of their faults, which are too numerous to actually lay out at once).

This, and other threads as of late, lead me to wonder. Is it possible to get a stupid person who thinks that they are smart to understand and accept that they're stupid?

We see it go around in religion threads, you'll never sway the true believer. Be it snake bite cults or anti-vaccers or liam from above... Is there some way to quickly inform them and have them face their own failings, or are we stuck with them as they are and explaining to them completely futile?

Is the inability universal, or will some see the fact(properly enough cited) put before them as fact, and disavow themselves of that particular delusion?

I'm probably just trying to justify continuing to post on fark, where political-tab derpitude is spreading at an exponential rate.(IE we're being out populated by the stupid and delusional).

Esn: all of your negative feelings are because you have an automatic reaction of disgust deep in the lower regions of your brain


So, they're born that way?
/snerk
I've often said the same thing about bigots and such. Relative to the above, they can't help being an ass, it's literally programmed into them. Isn't there something to be said for cutting them some tiny bit of slack here and there?

I think Penn & Teller had it right(Bullshiat! Episode Humbug!). People are too thin skinned in general. Be it pompous etiquette police, or people that think it's their inalienable right to never be offended.
People's capacity for finding things offensive is infinite.
Really, at the end of the day, people can only take so much of "You can't do this, no you can't do that either, yes...I mean No!, that's not allowed. Oh? That's been poor form for ages. That? No, I'm sooory, that went out of vogue last week, you can no longer say that, this, or anyother." ad infinitum
Hem in, or limit, people too much and maybe that's why they climb a clock-tower with a rifle or shoot up a movie theater.

Are we asking for it?
 
2013-01-08 12:34:41 PM
Dude - Squee means Squee!
 
2013-01-08 02:22:00 PM

omeganuepsilon: People are too thin skinned in general.


I bet you don't have to look to far to find someone like that.
 
2013-01-08 02:31:59 PM

universebetween: but he drew the line with the blow hole?


He did discuss that point, that'd be nasal sex.

That's what's most unnerving to me, is that he had some rationale behind his choices(if he's not lying, as I mentioned above). It's not like he's a member of PETA and simply off his rocker.

I can understand people who are mentally ill and/or psychotic, in that the action makes no sense but their actions are explained by their broken psyche. This guy is something else. He is not deficient of solid reasoning as are (seemingly) a majority of people who are farked up.

He rather reminds me of Hannibal Lectre. Only it's animal farking and not so much making people cut off their own faces because they pissed him off.

/reminds me, I still wish the movies would have ended like the book, in that he escapes with Clarice
//more chilling
 
2013-01-08 03:09:03 PM

omeganuepsilon: Hannibal Lectre


Is that the British spelling of his name?
 
2013-01-08 03:42:31 PM

RobSeace: omeganuepsilon: Hannibal Lectre

Is that the British spelling of his name?


Neither came up right on spell check, so I left it with the last one I tried.
 
2013-01-08 09:56:14 PM
Somewhere in the ocean, there's a pod going "You did WHAT with a human?? Damn. That's just messed up. You know they're not intelligent enough to give consent!!"
 
2013-01-09 06:52:45 PM

PatGund: Somewhere in the ocean, there's a pod going "You did WHAT with a human?? Damn. That's just messed up. You know they're not intelligent enough to give consent!!"

Eek-actly.

 
2013-01-10 06:29:55 PM
I used to work with this loser in Florida (go figure). He also claimed his second wife was abducted by aliens.

/Getting kick, etc.
 
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