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(Science Daily)   Modern parenting hinders brain development. This explains quite a bit   (sciencedaily.com) divider line 47
    More: Obvious, brain development, moral development  
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12634 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jan 2013 at 4:57 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-07 05:14:07 PM  
7 votes:
I nursed mine, let them sleep between us when they wanted to and quickly learned how to keep them content so they scarcely cried. I had a few jackasses warn me about how they would become clingy and spoiled and never develop independence. They are now 6 and 4, share a room, make their own sandwiches, and their teachers report that they are well-behaved, self-motivated and sweet. It's almost like treating your kids like kids and making them feel secure helps them become confident and considerate. Studies have proven time and again that comforting your children and having physical contact with them boosts IQ and emotional stability.
2013-01-07 05:05:50 PM  
6 votes:
This is one dude from a Catholic college who is described as "professor of psychology who specializes in moral development in children." I imagine his entire job is basically finding data to keep his panties in a wad.
2013-01-07 05:05:32 PM  
5 votes:
Spank your horrible children.
2013-01-07 05:31:52 PM  
4 votes:

Raptop: I call BS


I think they may have a point. For example, cartoons. I don't have a television, but recently I was visiting my brothers family and they had the TV on--all day--with cartoons. The cartoons were all way too loud and each character spent the entire time screaming at each other--not talking--yelling. Dora-the-explorer is an example of this. Afterwards,my husband and I noticed how loud my brothers children are and how loud all their childrens friends were. After sitting in front of the TV for 3 hours a day, then watching this same nonsense at daycare for a few hours and then being surrounded by peers who also watch the same cartoons/advertisements -- it really does have a profound influence on developement. The TV is very much part of modern parenting and I don't think its helping the situation.

i.imgur.com
2013-01-07 05:20:14 PM  
4 votes:

Summer Glau's Love Slave: I have a roomie who believes with all his heart that you just dump the frozen orange juice into the pitcher and drink the syrup without adding a drop of water. He set himself on fire last fall because he tried to start a fire by pouring a quart of gasoline on the wood before kneeling down to light it.

 

Get out now before he kills you both.
2013-01-07 05:15:10 PM  
4 votes:
My wife and I let our daughter sleep with us until she was 18 months old. We just weaned her at two and a half, and she gets a lot of physical contact from us and others in the form of hugs, sitting in our laps reading, and snuggling in bed with us after she wakes up.

The one thing everyone says about her is how happy and outgoing she is and easy to deal with. Although we get some acting out behavior associated with her being 2+, she is a dream to be around 95% of the time and seems far ahead of a lot of the other kids in her daycare in language, counting, and social interaction.

We specifically thought about many of the things this article mentions and decided to not follow common child rearing practices. So far so good.
2013-01-07 05:12:45 PM  
4 votes:

detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Spank your horrible children.


Someone didn't RTFA.

And for all those who also won't, this article is arguing for MORE nurturing for the infants. More breast feeding, more physical contact, less sleeping alone and 'crying it out'.
2013-01-07 05:59:00 PM  
3 votes:
"Studies show that responding to a baby's needs (not letting a baby "cry it out") has been shown to influence the development of conscience"

And eventually your baby realizes that doing a fake cry gets you to come when he wants attention rather than going to sleep. That's the cry you ignore, it's not hard to differentiate. Babies are shiatty actors.
2013-01-07 05:38:47 PM  
3 votes:
It takes a village man.
2013-01-07 05:33:25 PM  
3 votes:
Rules of good parenting:

1. Reward good behavior
2. Beat the bad behavior out of them
3. Nevermind fear of God, Fear of Dad (TM) comes first
4. Encourage them to not be little shiats
5. Beat them when they're little shiats
6. Teach them life is hard, then you die
2013-01-07 05:26:47 PM  
3 votes:
TFA: "Also, early deficits can be made up later, she says."

... doesn't this basically throw out the entire argument?
"If you're not doing X, the child's gonna turn out wrong. Unless, of course, you do X later. Then they'll be fine."

That seems to suggest the car seats and formula have jack and shiat to do with it and the key is just to not let your kid go through their *entire life* devoid of support, care and self-expression.
2013-01-07 10:34:07 PM  
2 votes:
Yeah.. we co-slept with our kids.. heck, still often sleep with them and they're 2, 5, and 7.. they were all breastfed until 18 months, and NEVER cried ANYTHING out.

My wife was just telling me how she has heard parents talk or facebook about sitting in another room while their infant or toddler wales for a parent to come pick it up and they sit there in another room "letting them cry it out" because some jackass told them that's what a parent is supposed to do in order to condition the child to not expect their parents to show them compassion.. and describing this as a parent as being "torture" or "the hardest thing I've ever done".

Yeah, you know why it feels like that... because tens of thousands of years of humanity, and the souls of dozens of generations of dead ancestors are screaming at you to GO GET THAT BABY AND HOLD IT, YA JACKWAGON!!!

They come into this world entirely dependent on you... you don't get a trophy for making them non-dependent faster than everyone else. You've got 18 years to slowly foster independence, ya don't have to do it all in the first 2 years, you know.
2013-01-07 05:53:08 PM  
2 votes:
Color me unsurprised. The lack of outdoor unrestricted playtime is one of the worst losses kids (and parents) have to deal with these days.
2013-01-07 05:48:35 PM  
2 votes:
Sure, it's about time somebody came up with a fresh group of reasons why some parents should feel incompetent while making another group of parents feel smug.

The whole point of having children is to prove you can do it better than everyone else. Right?
2013-01-07 05:40:35 PM  
2 votes:
My toddler's most common utterances are "Hug!", "Tisses! (kisses), and "Tick-tick" (tickles), so I think I've done well and continue to do well in the physical nurturing part seeing as though he's an affectionate and happy, mostly tantrum-free little dude. I would like to be more physical with him though and better about not letting him see me sitting on my ass all day. We've recently begun dancing to Wiggles dvds together and those really do give you a sort of work out if you do it right. We've also recently started going for long walks in the afternoons if it's anywhere near 0f or above. "Tree!", "Buwd!", "SNOW!!!" *leap head first into snow bank*

Damn Wiggles, doing jumping jacks and jogging in place is not dancing *grumble*.
2013-01-07 05:36:32 PM  
2 votes:

lohphat: What are you supposed to do with a infant or toddler that sleeps only 3 hours at a time as is prone to tantrums? Go without sleep and then go over the edge and kill it?


You don't relegate it to the care of a single person (or two people) -- you let a whole slew of people take turns caring for it.

The isolation caused by "families" is one of the worst things civilization has ever produced. We now live physically closer together than ever before and somehow we have less caregivers available per child.
2013-01-07 05:32:45 PM  
2 votes:

SubjectVerb: I am going to follow everything my mother did (which is wrong according to this idiot author) since I scored off the charts on all standardized tests and graduated college with a 4.0.

/not bragging, offering evidence that this article is BS


With hardcore anecdote-as-proof reasoning there, well... I'm sure you can weave some great baskets in any depth of water with your degree.
2013-01-07 05:22:16 PM  
2 votes:
What are you supposed to do with a infant or toddler that sleeps only 3 hours at a time as is prone to tantrums? Go without sleep and then go over the edge and kill it?

Natural selection at work, I guess. Problematic infants were a burden to the tribe and were abandoned.

Now we "nurture" them and their psychopathic behavior allowing them to procreate when they get older, perpetuating the bad genes.

That's why we have so many CEO-types infecting or society.

/amidoingitriteguise?
2013-01-07 05:19:12 PM  
2 votes:

12349876: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Spank your horrible children.

Someone didn't RTFA.

And for all those who also won't, this article is arguing for MORE nurturing for the infants. More breast feeding, more physical contact, less sleeping alone and 'crying it out'.


Spanking IS "more physical contact". Duh.
2013-01-07 05:18:18 PM  
2 votes:
i read somewhere that not comforting your baby with touching and caring triggers its brain to prepare for harcore survival mode. its brain thinks that the parents are stressed out and the environment is a shiathole so the brain makes the kid turn into a badass farker to prepare for life in said hellhole.
2013-01-07 05:13:43 PM  
2 votes:
I would venture that impaired brain development causes a lot of modern parenting..
2013-01-08 05:12:45 AM  
1 votes:
My 5 year old was.

1. Slept in her own bed form day one.

2 Was breastfed for 3 days, but I gave that up because it hurt like hell and I thought I don't want to hate my time with my child.

3. Was talked to all day, although was not carried all the time. I put her in a carry bassinet and would carry her to which ever room I was in. When she was able to sit up I put her in a Davros chair (high chair but I nick named her Davros)

4. When she was carried in my arms and we were out and about shopping she would face outwards. If she did not face outwards she would twist herself to look at everything.

5. From day one if she cried and it was not a terrified cry I would tell her I will just be a minute. I would make her wait a minute and get her a new nappy. It was amazing even in hospital from the second day at least 2/3 times she would be back asleep during that time. I only waited about 3 to 5 minutes at the very most and that was rare and I think many parents who pat and rock are actually keeping babies awake who were only having a temporary wake in their sleep.

Now she is.

1. very happy.
2. very cheeky.
3. very smart and although I have not tested her for intellectual giftedness but I have been recommended to by her kindergarten teachers
4. very social. She is the child parents want their children to play with because she is so friendly and so liked.
5. very witty. .
6. Very focused.
7. Able to take a knock i.e fall over or fail or have someone take a little dig without bursting into tears.
8. Very empathetic.


but according to this article nearly everything I did should not have produced that. Perhaps parents don't need to have all this constant hands on parenting. Perhaps they need a balance.
2013-01-08 04:33:46 AM  
1 votes:
Chiming in a bit late. Breastfeeding was hell in this household. Out first (a boy) didn't latch on but my wife was hell-bent on breastfeeding. Instead of calmly moving on to formula and a serene mother-child relationship, she dug her heels in and imposed her freak-out on all around and, obviously, on the baby for the best part of a year.

When the second (a girl) came around the same difficulties arose and it became clear that it just wasn't going to work, my wife finally saw reason and fed the baby formula. All was cool.

Today, our 7 year old son is an totally insecure manipulative mummy's boy whereas our 5 year old girl is a self-confident strong little girl. I won't attempt to draw any easy conclusions from any of this (there are many factors, one of which is that a child has an inherent character regardless of circumstances) but I thought I'd share, just in case my story could help others deal with their situation.
2013-01-07 10:59:01 PM  
1 votes:
I'm a dad of two at this point. Both of them have very different temperaments. And we go back and forth about nurturing vs. fostering independence.

And that's just it with parenting. Each kid needs something different, and each parent has different things they can give, and different situations call for different reactions.

Anyone who can tell you something that works for all parents with all kids in all situations is either a fool, selling you something, or both.
2013-01-07 10:09:22 PM  
1 votes:
FTFA: Whether the corollary to these modern practices or the result of other forces, an epidemic of anxiety and depression among all age groups, including young children; rising rates of aggressive behavior and delinquency in young children; and decreasing empathy, the backbone of compassionate, moral behavior, among college students, are shown in research.

It's the economy, stupid. Nowadays, both parents have to work just to make ends meet. Half of kids growing up see mom and dad get a divorce. Kids see their parents stressed out over being able to keep their jobs amid a "new economy" which is based on employers who use the threat of layoffs to keep wages depressed and benefits to an absolute minimum. Kids aspiring to work in a technical field when they grow up watch as their parents' technical jobs are being sent out of the country. Kids are growing up in households where the family loses its home and has to move into substandard accommodations while they watch rich, spoiled politicians argue on TV about whether or not we should have affordable health care in this country. There are people out there telling children that there's no reason to bother going to college because the benefit doesn't justify the cost. Just strive to flip those burgers. Everything we're seeing out there is telling us that we (the U.S.) have had our time, economically. There's nothing left to strive for, at least not here in this country. The rich people don't want to pay taxes. The politicians don't think that most "normal folk" are worth helping out. Working parents do what they can to make a decent living and provide some semblance of a normal life for their kids, while they know deep down inside that something is very wrong with the way things are. And on top of all that... the kids pick up on it. They might not know the ugly details, but they know that mommy and daddy (if they're both still around) are worried and stressed. And in those households where the parents are too busy with their own problems to pay attention to their kids... well...

Okay... I need to stop. Otherwise I'll wind up slitting my own wrists.

/it's not going to get better
//we're pretty much screwed
///most kids growing up today don't have anything to shoot for
2013-01-07 07:48:35 PM  
1 votes:
We too cosleep out of laziness. The best part? We have a kid who sleeps as late as we do. Which is pretty damn late. I don't think I'll regret cuddling him when he's older.
2013-01-07 07:41:29 PM  
1 votes:

meat0918: I call it into question because as I said earlier, we hear "kids today suck because their parents suck at being parents" every generation.

That said, my wife and I did the things that this professor recommends with our two children, not because science said to, but because that was what felt right, and what the books said to do or not to do felt wrong. So we didn't do "cry it out" and we did sleep in the same bed.

Both were breastfed, both were carried and cuddled a lot, as well as slept in the bed with us most nights until they were two or so.

I'll be honest, the co-sleeping was done initially because neither of us wanted to get up every two hours to feed a newborn(and since I'm a dude, I would need to warm up any pumped breastmilk if it was my turn to feed him), and since she was breastfeeding anyways, it didn't make sense to get up and get the baby when a woman can breastfeed a baby just as well asleep as she could awake. Eventually she stopped pumping altogether and just let nature do its thing (which caused the pregnancy weight to vanish, to the point she had to eat extra just to maintain a normal body weight).


My mom had to start working full-time when my sister was two or three, and my biological father is about as nurturing as a brick. So I pretty much just went with my gut. Lots of hugs, holding her all the time, baby-voice and stupid nicknames, singing songs...I probably let her watch too much TV, but other than that I pretty much went with what TFA said. Partly because the research was around already, but mostly because you  can't watch a baby cry without picking them up, or at least I can't. It's actually really difficult to do.

/Eight, and she's a bright, outgoing kid that the entire family dotes on
//My mom now being primary caretaker is a lovely thing. I can Fark and do other miscellanous non-small-child-related activities.
2013-01-07 07:32:46 PM  
1 votes:
I decided to RTFA and it's more about children developing stronger morals and compassion rather than intelligence.

Perhaps kids aren't developing those skills because society is immoral and lacks compassion.
2013-01-07 06:53:19 PM  
1 votes:
FTFA: "Studies show that responding to a baby's needs (not letting a baby "cry it out") has been shown to influence the development of conscience; positive touch affects stress reactivity, impulse control and empathy; free play in nature influences social capacities and aggression; and a set of supportive caregivers (beyond the mother alone) predicts IQ and ego resilience as well as empathy."

Going by that I should be a retarded basket case with no care for other people.
2013-01-07 06:47:01 PM  
1 votes:

dopekitty74: Evil Twin Skippy: Raptop: I call BS

I call double BS. It starts off with how formula is the devil and breast feeding is best, and proceeds to lose credibility from there.

Breastfeeding IS the best. That's what they're meant to drink. Breastfed babies have better immune systems and less allergies


And as long as youre not a self righteous prick about your opinion, thats okay. When you use your opinion to make new mothers feel like failures and get PPD about their inability to breast feed, thats when you become a waste of space on the planet who should be on lifes ignore list.

Thats a subject that you should NEVER freely give your opinion on.. wait until youre asked. If no one asks, thats because no one cares what you think.

/Not that YOU are, just saying...
2013-01-07 06:46:20 PM  
1 votes:

profplump: The isolation caused by "families" is one of the worst things civilization has ever produced. We now live physically closer together than ever before and somehow we have less caregivers available per child.


I'd refine that to "single generation families". When I was growing up, my great-grandparents lived with us when they couldn't' take care of themselves on their own any longer.
2013-01-07 06:45:03 PM  
1 votes:

Frankenstorm: Zombie parenting encourages a hunger for knowledge.


Then how do you explain the lack of American scholars these days?
2013-01-07 06:20:45 PM  
1 votes:

Smelly Pirate Hooker: profplump: lohphat: What are you supposed to do with a infant or toddler that sleeps only 3 hours at a time as is prone to tantrums? Go without sleep and then go over the edge and kill it?

You don't relegate it to the care of a single person (or two people) -- you let a whole slew of people take turns caring for it.

The isolation caused by "families" is one of the worst things civilization has ever produced. We now live physically closer together than ever before and somehow we have less caregivers available per child.

Sure. Families are the problem.

When my mom needed some time off from us kids, she just dropped us off at a neighbor's house. OK, so they pimped us out for drug money a couple times, but I call that a learning experience. Now we know to always get the money up front.


No, really there is a serious point there. Everyone I met who had moved from Africa was shocked at how isolated British mothers were with babies and small children, and found it hard to cope. That included Brits who had spent several years living there, as well as immigrants. They say there is a saying in Africa that it takes a whole village to raise a child. I get the impression that it is more than just a saying ...
2013-01-07 06:11:33 PM  
1 votes:
"OMG, our modern parenting practices are ruining our children!" automatically sets off red flags, since I've heard "Kids today suck" about every group of kids, including the group I belong to, and have read similar statements from many time periods in our recorded history.
2013-01-07 06:02:30 PM  
1 votes:

SubjectVerb: I am going to follow everything my mother did (which is wrong according to this idiot author) since I scored off the charts on all standardized tests and graduated college with a 4.0.

/not bragging, offering evidence that this article is BS


But, are you an asshole?

I have no reason to believe that you are, but I know quite a few smart folks....some turned out to be assholes and some didn't. I attribute that to their parents.
2013-01-07 06:02:08 PM  
1 votes:

Evil Twin Skippy: Raptop: I call BS

I call double BS. It starts off with how formula is the devil and breast feeding is best, and proceeds to lose credibility from there.


Breastfeeding IS the best. That's what they're meant to drink. Breastfed babies have better immune systems and less allergies
2013-01-07 05:58:58 PM  
1 votes:

iaazathot: My wife and I let our daughter sleep with us until she was 18 months old. We just weaned her at two and a half, and she gets a lot of physical contact from us and others in the form of hugs, sitting in our laps reading, and snuggling in bed with us after she wakes up.

The one thing everyone says about her is how happy and outgoing she is and easy to deal with. Although we get some acting out behavior associated with her being 2+, she is a dream to be around 95% of the time and seems far ahead of a lot of the other kids in her daycare in language, counting, and social interaction.

We specifically thought about many of the things this article mentions and decided to not follow common child rearing practices. So far so good.


Seconded. All of that.

Ours is 3.375 years old now. Not sure on causation, but my experience has been similar.
2013-01-07 05:39:43 PM  
1 votes:

Raptop: I call BS


I call double BS. It starts off with how formula is the devil and breast feeding is best, and proceeds to lose credibility from there.
2013-01-07 05:35:32 PM  
1 votes:

SubjectVerb: I am going to follow everything my mother did (which is wrong according to this idiot author) since I scored off the charts on all standardized tests and graduated college with a 4.0.

/not bragging, offering evidence that this article is BS


youre very smart so you should know that you are just a single data point.

btw what major?
2013-01-07 05:29:57 PM  
1 votes:
I am going to follow everything my mother did (which is wrong according to this idiot author) since I scored off the charts on all standardized tests and graduated college with a 4.0.

/not bragging, offering evidence that this article is BS
2013-01-07 05:29:18 PM  
1 votes:
My dog did the cutest thing the other day...
2013-01-07 05:28:13 PM  
1 votes:

phlegmmo: Summer Glau's Love Slave: I have a roomie who believes with all his heart that you just dump the frozen orange juice into the pitcher and drink the syrup without adding a drop of water. He set himself on fire last fall because he tried to start a fire by pouring a quart of gasoline on the wood before kneeling down to light it.
Get out now before he kills you both.


Really. That's some Idiocracy shiat right there.
2013-01-07 05:23:12 PM  
1 votes:
So: act like you love your kid and it'll develop well.

Nice work there, Lou.
2013-01-07 05:18:07 PM  
1 votes:
My mom was considered something of a revolutionary when she told her friends that she intended to breast feed. However, apparently, I was having none of it and opted for starvation for the better part of my first week of life until my grandmother came over with a pallet of formula.

I also hated it when my parents showed me spontaneous affection. It's a miracle I didn't grow up and become a serial killer.
2013-01-07 05:17:25 PM  
1 votes:
One of the things that amazed me the most about living at college was how inept many of my fellow students are. I've had housemates who literally had no idea how to operate a stove or a washing machine. I have a roomie who believes with all his heart that you just dump the frozen orange juice into the pitcher and drink the syrup without adding a drop of water. He set himself on fire last fall because he tried to start a fire by pouring a quart of gasoline on the wood before kneeling down to light it.

I've seen (and smelled) other kids who would go an entire semester without cleaning their clothes or bathing their bods. One of guys who lives across from me ruined a brand new car because he poured water into the oil intake when his car started running hot. And just a few days ago, a girl in who lives on my block shattered her windshield when she used a pan of boiling water to de-ice her windshield.

/And when you ask, Mommy and Daddy did everything for them at home.
//Never a dull moment.
///Feeling a little smug now.
////I get money to sew on buttons and repair clothes, because I'm bootstrappy.
2013-01-07 05:15:03 PM  
1 votes:
"Leaving me to just 'cry it out'? Oh, you'll pay for this... you'll all pay."
0-media-cdn.foolz.us
2013-01-07 05:11:39 PM  
1 votes:
You see? You let Sociology departments on college campuses go unchallenged, and this is the kind of crap you get!
 
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