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(NYPost)   Heidi Klum says she likes to get freaky and "experimental" in bed and loves to wear costumes to get "wild and crazy"   (nypost.com) divider line 106
    More: Spiffy, Heidi Klum, Marie Claire, devil horns  
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5937 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 07 Jan 2013 at 12:21 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-07 01:47:28 PM  
I was under the impression attractive women didn't enjoy sex, as they seem to never want to have it with me.
 
2013-01-07 01:53:03 PM  

MayoSlather: I was under the impression attractive women didn't enjoy sex, as they seem to never want to have it with me.


Im going to have to agree with your theory...as i too have trouble bedding the hot ones...


...who am I kidding, I gave up on the hot ones a couple decades ago.
 
2013-01-07 01:54:20 PM  
Huh, emotionally unstable models are also emotionally unstable and full of self-doubt in the bedroom too?
 
2013-01-07 01:57:00 PM  
Dibs
 
2013-01-07 02:04:25 PM  
www.show.me.uk
 
2013-01-07 02:04:35 PM  
 
2013-01-07 02:07:11 PM  

DoBeDoBeDo: So SHE puts on the robe and wizard hat?

Well that's going to take some getting used too.


If it's a white robe and wizard hat, I can see where Seal might have had a problem with that, regardless, she can still play with my magic wand any day.
 
2013-01-07 02:11:20 PM  
 
2013-01-07 02:14:37 PM  

M-G: I've got that "looks like you blew a seal" joke in my head now....


"Beer foam! It's beer foam!"
 
2013-01-07 02:16:27 PM  

Brick-House: DoBeDoBeDo: So SHE puts on the robe and wizard hat?

Well that's going to take some getting used too.

If it's a white robe and wizard hat, I can see where Seal might have had a problem with that, regardless, she can still play with my magic wand any day.


So what's the problem?
 
2013-01-07 02:19:14 PM  

Gone In 26 Minutes: Brick-House: DoBeDoBeDo: So SHE puts on the robe and wizard hat?

Well that's going to take some getting used too.

If it's a white robe and wizard hat, I can see where Seal might have had a problem with that, regardless, she can still play with my magic wand any day.

So what's the problem?


Oh, huh. I should preview shiat first.

Anyway, as I was saying:

images2.wikia.nocookie.net

What's the problem?
 
2013-01-07 02:22:21 PM  
Doesn't everyone?
 
2013-01-07 02:23:52 PM  
You're either in, or you're out. And then you're in again, and out. And in, and out.
 
2013-01-07 02:26:40 PM  

M-G: I've got that "looks like you blew a seal" joke in my head now....


i.qkme.me
 
2013-01-07 02:26:43 PM  

No Such Agency: The My Little Pony Killer:
All I got from this is that she's vanilla as hell in bed but needs to sell some product.

Women's "kinky and experimental" tends* to be a lot tamer than men's "kinky and experimental". Granted, a happy medium should be somewhere in between "I tickled him with a feather" and "she orally serviced our Superbowl party while dressed as Amy Pond".

But god I do get sick of celebrities attention-whoring in this manner. It's just insultingly transparent, but it seems to work.

*ymmv, as always


Yeah, I was gonna say, the last couple girlfriends I've had who wanted to "experiment" wanted to go farther than I'm willing to go. Tie you up? Spank you hard? Shibari? Bite you? Order you around? Sure, I'm game. Blade/blood play and breath play? No thank you, not my cup o' tea.
 
2013-01-07 02:31:58 PM  
1957timecapsule.files.wordpress.com
bradley.chattablogs.com
 
2013-01-07 02:39:43 PM  

carrion_luggage: [1957timecapsule.files.wordpress.com image 505x500]
[bradley.chattablogs.com image 200x200]


Oh, well done. Very well done.
 
2013-01-07 02:41:43 PM  

KatjaMouse: I remember back in the day her admitting that the only reason why she hooked up with Seal in the first place was because she was in a hotel lobby, saw him coming out of the gym wearing skin tight shorts... and saw the outline of his outlandishly huge tool. She got her people to his ASAP and they were meeting for drinks that night.

Just so you guys know what is required out the gate.


I might stand a chance. I'm a huge tool.
 
2013-01-07 02:43:04 PM  
I have noticed though that if a girl puts on an outfit, you are going to get a lot more effort out of her for that session in particular
 
2013-01-07 02:48:14 PM  

Teufelaffe: No Such Agency: The My Little Pony Killer:
All I got from this is that she's vanilla as hell in bed but needs to sell some product.

Women's "kinky and experimental" tends* to be a lot tamer than men's "kinky and experimental". Granted, a happy medium should be somewhere in between "I tickled him with a feather" and "she orally serviced our Superbowl party while dressed as Amy Pond".

But god I do get sick of celebrities attention-whoring in this manner. It's just insultingly transparent, but it seems to work.

*ymmv, as always

Yeah, I was gonna say, the last couple girlfriends I've had who wanted to "experiment" wanted to go farther than I'm willing to go. Tie you up? Spank you hard? Shibari? Bite you? Order you around? Sure, I'm game. Blade/blood play and breath play? No thank you, not my cup o' tea.


Got their email?
 
2013-01-07 02:50:25 PM  

No Such Agency: The My Little Pony Killer:
All I got from this is that she's vanilla as hell in bed but needs to sell some product.

Women's "kinky and experimental" tends* to be a lot tamer than men's "kinky and experimental". Granted, a happy medium should be somewhere in between "I tickled him with a feather" and "she orally serviced our Superbowl party while dressed as Amy Pond".

But god I do get sick of celebrities attention-whoring in this manner. It's just insultingly transparent, but it seems to work.

*ymmv, as always


My girlfriend falls more to the Super Bowl party side. I have to rein her in, frequently. Fun, right?

Short CSB: Our local favorite bar knows us both really well. One day I head in there as the GF's coming out, and the bartender tells me it's free of charge all week, thanks to the GF's excellent "skills" (with a wink). The bartender couldn't walk very well for an hour or so. It never was explicitly stated what happened.
The It's-All-Okay Bonus: The bartender's a woman.
\ end CSB
 
2013-01-07 02:50:34 PM  
Sultan Of Herf:
MayoSlather: I was under the impression attractive women didn't enjoy sex, as they seem to never want to have it with me.

Im going to have to agree with your theory...as i too have trouble bedding the hot ones...
...who am I kidding, I gave up on the hot ones a couple decades ago.


At your age, you should be wise enough to realize that in bed, an enthusiastic 5 beats a lazy/boring 8 any day.

Teufelaffe:
Blade/blood play and breath play? No thank you

Speaking of "wise"...
 
2013-01-07 02:50:53 PM  

PirateKing: You're either in, or you're out. And then you're in again, and out. And in, and out.


Mamma's got a squeeze box and daddy don't sleep at night.
 
2013-01-07 02:54:38 PM  
i47.tinypic.com
 
2013-01-07 02:57:57 PM  
So I'm guessing Seal had enough the night she busted out the overseer outfit and whip and tossed him the shackles.

Or maybe that's how they met. I dunno.
 
2013-01-07 03:03:32 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: All I got from this is that she's vanilla as hell in bed but needs to sell some product.


Well, she's German, so maybe she likes to crap on/be crapped on, which would lead to a dilemma for more than one Farker.
 
2013-01-07 03:05:13 PM  

djkutch: realmojo: [pbs.twimg.com image 484x648]

Giggity.

I don't like the looks of that belly button.


Belly button? What belly button?
 
2013-01-07 03:05:25 PM  

mcgreggers99: [www.fashionfame.com image 537x787]

If this is the kind of dress up we're talking about, then how about no....


//weirdestboner.jpg
 
2013-01-07 03:08:08 PM  

dj_spanmaster: Short CSB: Our local favorite bar knows us both really well. One day I head in there as the GF's coming out, and the bartender tells me it's free of charge all week, thanks to the GF's excellent "skills" (with a wink). The bartender couldn't walk very well for an hour or so. It never was explicitly stated what happened.
The It's-All-Okay Bonus: The bartender's a woman.
\ end CSB


Oh, fark you, you magnificent, lucky bastard.
 
2013-01-07 03:08:19 PM  
pjmedia.com
 
2013-01-07 03:10:42 PM  
I'm all for experiementation, but now I can only get an erection if I'm chained to a giant typewriter.
 
2013-01-07 03:13:58 PM  
My last girlfriend liked to get experimental. Sadly, I was in the control group.
 
2013-01-07 03:14:24 PM  

Nurglitch: I'm all for experiementation, but now I can only get an erection if I'm chained to a giant typewriter.


wow... the strength your member must have to overcome the gravity of an Underwood!
 
2013-01-07 03:16:36 PM  

dj_spanmaster: No Such Agency: The My Little Pony Killer:
All I got from this is that she's vanilla as hell in bed but needs to sell some product.

Women's "kinky and experimental" tends* to be a lot tamer than men's "kinky and experimental". Granted, a happy medium should be somewhere in between "I tickled him with a feather" and "she orally serviced our Superbowl party while dressed as Amy Pond".

But god I do get sick of celebrities attention-whoring in this manner. It's just insultingly transparent, but it seems to work.

*ymmv, as always

My girlfriend falls more to the Super Bowl party side. I have to rein her in, frequently. Fun, right?

Short CSB: Our local favorite bar knows us both really well. One day I head in there as the GF's coming out, and the bartender tells me it's free of charge all week, thanks to the GF's excellent "skills" (with a wink). The bartender couldn't walk very well for an hour or so. It never was explicitly stated what happened.
The It's-All-Okay Bonus: The bartender's a woman.
\ end CSB


Somewhere, Orson Welles is clapping furiously.
 
2013-01-07 03:24:08 PM  
Clutch2013:Somewhere, Orson Welles is clapping furiously.

Clapping or fapping?
 
2013-01-07 03:26:59 PM  

PirateKing: My last girlfriend liked to get experimental. Sadly, I was in the control group.


The thing not to do is whine like "oh you did this for that guy but not me!"  You go "ooh let's put on Wild Things, I know you love that movie" and then bring up one of her friends who you think is hot.  Even if you get what you want from whining, it won't be as good as if you get them to set everything up enthusiastically.  It took a few tries for me to figure out that lesson, but that is the way to go.
 
2013-01-07 03:30:48 PM  

SnakeLee: PirateKing: My last girlfriend liked to get experimental. Sadly, I was in the control group.

The thing not to do is whine like "oh you did this for that guy but not me!"  You go "ooh let's put on Wild Things, I know you love that movie" and then bring up one of her friends who you think is hot.  Even if you get what you want from whining, it won't be as good as if you get them to set everything up enthusiastically.  It took a few tries for me to figure out that lesson, but that is the way to go.


Oh, I didn't have any problems with that, just that I found all the documentation and peer review sort of killed the mood. Plus they kept making microscope jokes.

:(
 
2013-01-07 03:35:30 PM  
When a German says she likes to get "experimental", I just assume that means there's going to be lots of pee.
 
2013-01-07 04:08:24 PM  

elvindeath: When a German says she likes to get "experimental", I just assume that means there's going to be lots of pee.


Some have more problem with this than others. I don't really care, as long as it's not piss in the bed. I don't wanna sleep in that.
 
2013-01-07 04:11:09 PM  

elvindeath: When a German says she likes to get "experimental", I just assume that means there's going to be lots of pee.


I thought that was normal for German sex. I always figured that when Germans decided to experiment in bed, they did it missionary position with the lights off.
 
2013-01-07 04:27:27 PM  
Knowing she's into that sort of thing makes me happy.

Knowing I'll never get to participate with her in those activities makes me sad.
 
2013-01-07 04:27:52 PM  

calm like a bomb: dj_spanmaster: Short CSB: Our local favorite bar knows us both really well. One day I head in there as the GF's coming out, and the bartender tells me it's free of charge all week, thanks to the GF's excellent "skills" (with a wink). The bartender couldn't walk very well for an hour or so. It never was explicitly stated what happened.
The It's-All-Okay Bonus: The bartender's a woman.
\ end CSB

Oh, fark you, you magnificent, lucky bastard.


I'm jealous too. Free booze ...
 
2013-01-07 04:46:01 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: All I got from this is that she's vanilla as hell in bed but needs to sell some product.


Thank you. Heidi has always come off as a bit of a Brigid Fitch (No offense meant to my fellow FARKer with that name) when she's doing anything other than walking a runway. Even on PR, when she's being 'mean', it feels like she's acting the way she's noticed humans acting.

Now, Giselle, on the other hand:
blog.jewelrymegastore.com
YES PLEASE!
 
2013-01-07 05:47:20 PM  
... Bring out the gimp.
 
2013-01-07 06:08:27 PM  
i407.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-07 06:44:09 PM  

carrion_luggage: [1957timecapsule.files.wordpress.com image 505x500]
[bradley.chattablogs.com image 200x200]


I've been doing Madgabs all day so I got a kick out of this. props.
 
2013-01-07 07:06:04 PM  
...I'd get hit by that.
 
2013-01-07 07:58:03 PM  

Dancin_In_Anson:
[events.stanford.edu image 299x245]

And yet is tired of her shiat.


thought it was "is tired of her farking the help"
 
2013-01-07 09:10:06 PM  
oh, dirty dirty dirty german girls

ja ja ja!

www.polyvore.com
 
2013-01-08 12:15:54 AM  
Modified wooden toilet roller? Wow. Just wow...
 
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