Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Daily Mail)   Weight loss gimmicks from the '70s, do these 'Inflatable shorts' make me look fat?   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 9
    More: Amusing  
•       •       •

11640 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jan 2013 at 2:54 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-01-07 05:01:01 PM  
3 votes:

Wangiss: AbbeySomeone: mscleo: Nadie_AZ: I love the line 'perfected by a doctor'.

And it was just a nice reminder that mankind hasn't changed at all. Think of how doctors gave drugs like cocaine freely in the late 1800s, or morphine in the early 1900s. Think of chiropractors today. Or herbal specialists. Sorry, echinacea is not the secret to an uber immune system. Lobelia will not help an asthmatic. As a father of 2 children who had severe asthma- and husband of a woman that gave them these herbs daily, I saw first hand that it never helped whereas a breathing machine with albuterol helped my then-toddler children to breath normal.

You can't compare a chiropractor with an herbal specialist. I thought all chiropractors were useless too, until I needed one.


The twisty thing looks sort of fun.

If she was attempting to treat asthma with Lobelia she didn't know f*ckall about herbal medicine, or you are mistaken. Asthma usually stems from allergies.

In which case marshmallow and astragalus may be indicated. It depends on the type of allergy. Of course, if the patient is pneumoniac, Lobelia will cause them to both vomit the contents of their stomach and cough up the mucus and liquid in their lungs, so there's that. I'm sorry you got hoodwinked by amateurs. Perhaps cleaning the house of mold would have been more beneficial. There are some wonderful herbal cleaning agents that prevent mold and mildew growth.

You know what I do when I get sick? I drink a quart of raspberry tea, take a very hot shower, and go to sleep like most herbalists do. Most of herbalism is doing what's worked for millennia. (I admit showers are new, but ask any Japanese about the o-furo.)


Nothing treats the common cold like a good placebo. I use the same thing. A couple placebos, a shower and a nap do wonders.

/ mild flus, too
// almost like our bodies are fighting these things off on their own
/// ridiculous I know
2013-01-07 05:09:02 PM  
2 votes:

blatz514: [media.npr.org image 850x1120]


2.bp.blogspot.com

/Hot
2013-01-07 03:50:21 PM  
2 votes:

Skirl Hutsenreiter: mscleo: Nadie_AZ: I love the line 'perfected by a doctor'.

And it was just a nice reminder that mankind hasn't changed at all. Think of how doctors gave drugs like cocaine freely in the late 1800s, or morphine in the early 1900s. Think of chiropractors today. Or herbal specialists. Sorry, echinacea is not the secret to an uber immune system. Lobelia will not help an asthmatic. As a father of 2 children who had severe asthma- and husband of a woman that gave them these herbs daily, I saw first hand that it never helped whereas a breathing machine with albuterol helped my then-toddler children to breath normal.

You can't compare a chiropractor with an herbal specialist. I thought all chiropractors were useless too, until I needed one.


The twisty thing looks sort of fun.

The problem with chiropractors is that too many of them also advocate crazy herbal remedies alongside their real spine manipulation business.


Um, their spine manipulation stuff is just as bunk as anything. At best it's "extreme massage" without any sort of scientific study of effectiveness or usefulness, let alone study of risk. Don't ever let a chiropractor near your neck.
2013-01-07 03:20:58 PM  
2 votes:
My uncle past away last summer. Being the only surviving relative, I cleaned out his attic and found one of those Vita Master variable speed massage machines. I thought it was a gag or something, so I strapped myself into it for fun. It basically shakes you like a pant can, which supposedly activates all the nerves and synapses in your muscles, causing tiny contractions, but over and over again. I stayed on for about fifteen minutes and then went to bed. The next morning I got up and felt as though I'd done a serious full body workout - every muscles was crying out for the soothing warmth of BenGay. I figured it was from the manual labors of the previous day, popped four Aleve, and went on with my business.

He also had a scale in the basement. I stepped on it and just about lost my mind - five pounds lighter. I was fighting depression at the time, so I'd packed on the pounds - drinking too much and not exercising. But, honestly, after the physical pain quieted, my spirit and psyche felt incredible. Could this be the "miracle device" that my uncle had bragged about in the late stages of his dementia? It made some sense, considering the fact that even though he was too crazy to even wear his underwear appropriately, he still had the body of a twenty year old. He was seventy and could bench 420 pounds. I always figured it was dementia's debilitation conferring him with temporary retard strength.

Well, I was going to find out. I cancelled by summer trip to Sudan and started using the Vita Master religiously. I worked my way up from fifteen minutes to thirty to an hour - all the way up, through stages, to six straight hours. I didn't recognize the man in the mirror - wet, rippling muscles and a full head of vibrant hair, where before there was flab and baldness. I forgot to put my shirt on to bring in the trash can one morning and the stay at home mom across the street starting masturbating with the baby monitor. We ended up having sex for hours - which was difficult with that brat screaming over the speaker.

I was an animal and nearly killed us both. I didn't realize that the penis really is a muscle that can be grown to any size you see fit. And after awhile, it was so big it didn't fit. I was like a horse, but like a horse with a whale penis. I stopped wearing clothes completely and there was nothing that anybody - not even the town sheriff could do about it. Why? Because nobody was complaining. Have you ever felt the power of giving an entire PTA meeting a simultaneous orgasm? Ask me about it, because I know what God felt like when he imagined himself even more powerful.

I felt like such an animal that I took to sleeping standing up in the garage where I could shiat unbridled and just wash it down in the morning. I was so high spirited that I would read entire Russian novels by lamp light to put myself to sleep. That turned out to be my undoing - the kerosene lamp and the spirit kicks that I took to doing in my sleep.

I knocked over the kerosene lamp, sparking a fire that was an inferno in seconds, considering my uncle also collected kindling and balls of newspaper, which he fatefully stored next to the gas cans in the garage where I slumbered. I was so afraid of the fire that I ran through the steel garage door and kept running up the street, my giant half aroused penis throwing sparks as it slap-scraped the ground behind me. Like so many powerful beasts, I proved a coward when faced with fire.

The machine, of course, was destroyed. And without the treatments, my physique deflated, my hair fell out, my self esteem once again bottomed out. I took a job with the local government, stamping applications for above ground pools and home sprinkler systems. Funny that they'd stick me in the water department, considering I'd lost it all to that damn fire.

Anyways, if you see one of those machines in a long forgotten secondhand store, snatch it up. Pay whatever they are asking, even if it's not for sale and you have to pay with the shopkeeper's life. You won't regret it. Even after all my hardships and disappointments - I know not the mocking cuckold of regret. Neigh!
2013-01-07 12:25:36 PM  
2 votes:
callieallen.files.wordpress.com
2013-01-07 03:53:06 PM  
1 votes:
My $300 compression shorts laugh at your ridiculous inflatable shorts. Those fools in the 70s would buy anything.
2013-01-07 03:06:47 PM  
1 votes:
CSB:

In high school, I was on the wrestling team. If you didn't make weight the morning of a match, you had to put on a "sauna exercise suit" (okay, it was garbage bags) and run around in a heated room during lunch and gym. I know guys that dropped 6-7lbs that way before the match. Of course, after weigh in you would gorge on honey sandwiches and gatorade.

/teenagers are idiots
//at least in this case, I can legit claim I was enabled
2013-01-07 12:48:28 PM  
1 votes:
t3.gstatic.com
2013-01-07 12:42:28 PM  
1 votes:
A long days' journey into night while inches melt away.

Gotta give it to the Pythons for predicting the pervasiveness of product placement co-opting entertainment.
 
Displayed 9 of 9 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report