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(New Scientist)   Automated death threats will be the newest automotive safety feature   (newscientist.com) divider line 76
    More: Strange, death threats, receiver operating characteristic, car accidents, warnings, defensive driving  
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6934 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jan 2013 at 1:33 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-07 11:13:37 AM
"Fasten your seatbelt or you will be vaporized. You have 10 seconds to comply."
 
2013-01-07 11:21:02 AM
Well that's progress

/up until now I've had to depend on my passengers for those
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-01-07 11:29:01 AM
Claim 6 of the patent explains who the real market is: fleet owners. That claim says the device can phone home to tattle on drivers. Some lawyer out there thinks this was not obvious as of the 2010 filing date.

The severity of the collision is calculated based on vehicle mass. If you're driving a semi and approaching a motorcycle, you're going to die because you have 40 tons behind you. If you're driving a motorcycle and approaching a semi, no big deal because your vehicle weighs a tenth as much as a car. Not much kinetic energy there.

I don't see anything in there to account for other vehicle speed. The assumption seems to be that the vehicle ahead will instantly slow to zero speed. Since braking distance to a stop is greater than normal following distance this device will constantly alert whenever you are in traffic.  But as I said you aren't buying it for yourself. The fleet owner is buying it because a salesman said it would help track unsafe driving.
 
2013-01-07 11:39:53 AM
Seems slightly distracting, and when you're breaking the speed limit you need to keep your attention focused on the road.
 
2013-01-07 12:01:39 PM
cool. can they also have the car sense when people are farking in the back seat and remind teens why they should use condoms?
 
2013-01-07 12:12:53 PM
"You would die if you crashed right now"
Oh, we'll that changes those plans then. Note to self: don't crash
Thanks guys!
 
2013-01-07 01:38:02 PM
t0.gstatic.com
"Michael, we will hit that prostitute in 1.5 seconds and my trunk is full now."
 
2013-01-07 01:39:30 PM
How about seatbelts made of piano wire? That would be a gentle, but firm, reminder of one's mortality.

"You would die if you crashed right now"
"Don't think so.. watch THIS!!!"
 
2013-01-07 01:41:25 PM
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com

You have to enter the correct access code.
 
2013-01-07 01:42:28 PM
It's redundant to a system that already exists in the vehicles of married male drivers.
 
2013-01-07 01:44:43 PM
How would you hear it over Metallica?
 
2013-01-07 01:47:24 PM

Deep Contact: How would you hear it over Metallica?


It's passive aggressive. If it can't tell you at the time, it will bring it up later. And if you have a close call, it will remind you of how frequently you go too fast or are reckless.
 
2013-01-07 01:48:32 PM
"You would die if you crashed right now." Would such a warning make you take your foot off the accelerator?

No. You're not telling me something I don't know. I'm well aware that if I crash going 80 mph, there's a good chance I'll die.
 
2013-01-07 01:49:04 PM
Makes sense. The japanese are all about polite warnings. "There has been an excess today of umbrellas left on the train. Please remember to take yours."

"Your smoke is blowing in other's faces" (sign in english in tokyo).

/night rider?
 
2013-01-07 01:49:30 PM

cgraves67: It's redundant to a system that already exists in the vehicles of married male drivers.


This.

//I came to say it.
 
2013-01-07 01:49:49 PM

Deep Contact: How would you hear it over Metallica?


If you're listening to Metallica, you're dead already.
 
2013-01-07 01:50:52 PM
"Prease to fasten sleat-bert!"

/not obscure
 
2013-01-07 01:51:12 PM
Eddie Murphy called it on his 1st Carson appearance in 1982
(toward the end. He also covers 1st black President)
 
2013-01-07 01:51:34 PM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Deep Contact: How would you hear it over Metallica?

If you're listening to Metallica, you're dead already.


And you owe Lars Ulrich a shiatload of money right now for using the name of the band without his permission.... because he is NOT rich enough.
 
2013-01-07 01:52:11 PM
abhorrent1:
"You would die if you crashed right now." Would such a warning make you take your foot off the accelerator?

"No. You're not telling me something I don't know. I'm well aware that if I crash going 80 mph, there's a good chance I'll die."

I always go 80. Not dead yet.

Went way over that on the autobahn. Yay germany!
 
2013-01-07 01:52:11 PM
I can see the law suits now for assisted suicide.
 
2013-01-07 01:53:41 PM
Link
Holy shiat, didn't know they actually did it
 
2013-01-07 01:55:53 PM

Deep Contact: How would you hear it over Metallica?


Look out for that farmer's market, grampa.
 
2013-01-07 01:56:16 PM
There are two probabilities at work - chances of getting into an accident, and chances of getting hurt or killed if an accident occurs.

Accidents are much more likely when vehicles are travelling at different speeds on the same roads.

If this actually works, getting some drivers to slow down, this will very slightly* decrease their likelihood of dying if they get in a crash but greatly increase their chances of getting into a crash in the first place.


*Once drivers figure out that this thing will say "you're going to die" at every speed above 50 MPH (vehicles are crash-test rated only up to 30 MPH IIRC), this is going to be ignored or torn out of the car pretty quickly.
 
2013-01-07 01:56:53 PM
"You would die if you crashed right now."

"Looking in the mirror won't make you better looking."

"Put on a few pounds, have we?"

"You smell poorly. How about a nice bus ride today? Please deposit ignition key into the slot and exit vehicle immediately."

"Authorities have been alerted. Authorities have been alerted."
 
2013-01-07 01:56:55 PM
It would make the people who drive at 80 go 90 instead.

I sometimes drive at 70.  In daylight, with dry roads, perfect visibility, and light traffic.  Otherwise 55.  Because I understand the (enormous) difference between a crash at 55 and a crash at 70.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-01-07 02:07:16 PM
"Pffft, bring it on, meat-bag"
 
2013-01-07 02:08:12 PM

cgraves67: It's redundant to a system that already exists in the vehicles of married male drivers.


This was the first thing that came to mind. Bravo.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-01-07 02:08:15 PM

gja: "Pffft, bring it on, meat-bag"


pics.livejournal.com
 
2013-01-07 02:10:44 PM
I hope they make sure to use the Hard Drivin' crash replay footage music in the background.
 
2013-01-07 02:12:14 PM

Chinchillazilla: "Prease to fasten sleat-bert!"

/not obscure


Came for the Wasabi/Dick Turpin joke...

/love that book.
 
2013-01-07 02:12:57 PM
This would have been of exactly no help to the imbecile in the gray minivan two cars in front of me this morning who first drove off the edge of the on-ramp to the interstate, then cut off a semi while merging, then proceeded to weave all over the right lane for three miles at anywhere from 5 to 15 under the speed limit because he was farking around with his phone.

I'd prefer a system that safely pulls a car over and then politely decapitates the driver for using a mobile device.... then calls whoever they were calling/emailing/texting and tells them if they don't come remove the corpse and car within 24 hours they're next.

Speeding, by itself, is probably one of the last road problems that really needs to be resolved from a safety standpoint.
 
2013-01-07 02:15:02 PM
FTA: Their patent-pending system uses the battery of radar, ultrasound sonar and laser sensors found in modern cars and trucks to work out the current kinetic energy of a vehicle

KE = 1/2*m*v^2

m = mass
v = velocity

KE is a scalar quantity, it doesn't have direction like velocity has. You don't need freakin lasers to determine KE.
 
2013-01-07 02:15:31 PM
Necessary at this point of the thread.

i1180.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-07 02:15:50 PM

o'really: "Your smoke is blowing in other's faces" (sign in english in tokyo).


At the Père Lachaise cemetery in Paris, where Jim Morrison and Oscar Wilde are buried, there are signs in English like "please respect the dignity of this place" and "graves are easily damaged, please do not deface them." That's fair, since it gets a lot of tourist traffic, and people really do go a bit nuts. Wilde's grave gets covered in lipstick kisses for some reason.

What got me was that the signs were exclusively in English. I admired the way that combined "being a gigantic dick about it" with "being absolutely right."
 
2013-01-07 02:15:58 PM
"Wow, so you smoke weed every time you drive? We're only going to the store. Who are you, Snoop Dogg? Naw, if you were Snoop dog then you would have had to money to get that pinging sound that I am making checked out. When is payday, again?"
 
2013-01-07 02:16:05 PM
Future conversation exceprt:

Dude, I was like flying so fast the car was like "Dude, you're gonna die" so I punched it to see what it would say next.
 
2013-01-07 02:17:15 PM
But it won't stop the people in the other car from fist fighting while going at a stupidly high speed on a curvy road will it?
/When we heard about the accident and two being dead in it we thought the worst.
//Not knowing if people you love,well sorta I have to since it's his sister,are alive is terrifying.
 
2013-01-07 02:18:07 PM
ts4.mm.bing.net


because i am terminator, Cyberdyne Systems Model 101, i'll be back.
 
2013-01-07 02:18:07 PM

Kibbler: It would make the people who drive at 80 go 90 instead.

I sometimes drive at 70.  In daylight, with dry roads, perfect visibility, and light traffic.  Otherwise 55.  Because I understand the (enormous) difference between a crash at 55 and a crash at 70.


www.sharecg.com

/Obscure?
 
2013-01-07 02:18:16 PM
All this thing has to do in order to make accurate calculations is weight the balls of whoever is driving. Females of course, as most everyone knows, do not have balls but that is exactly the baseline the algorithm needs. The more balls you have when driving over the speed limit, the less warning you receive.
 
2013-01-07 02:18:55 PM
i1180.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-07 02:21:21 PM
*sigh* so much for ever wanting to buy a new car again... thankfully, my finances won't allow it anyway.
 
2013-01-07 02:24:10 PM
Who the hell would want something like that? It's bad enough when my wife is a passenger and she gasps or sometimes even screams when I get anywhere near another car. That shiat makes accidents MORE likely, not less likely.
 
2013-01-07 02:29:25 PM
Does this come in a model for the elderly?

"You completed the lane change five minutes ago. Turn off your blinker or you may become the victim of road rage."

"Farmer's market ahead. Now entering 'cull the herd' mode..."
 
2013-01-07 02:30:39 PM
I'm sorry, Dave.
img850.imageshack.us
I'm afraid I can't do that
 
2013-01-07 02:34:14 PM
I see you're not a registered Fascist. Please pull over and wait for the police to come along and send you to the re-education camp.

Nope, no way this won't be used to track people.
 
2013-01-07 02:36:14 PM
semiotix:

"At the Père Lachaise cemetery in Paris, where Jim Morrison and Oscar Wilde are buried, there are signs in English like "please respect the dignity of this place" and "graves are easily damaged, please do not deface them." That's fair, since it gets a lot of tourist traffic, and people really do go a bit nuts. Wilde's grave gets covered in lipstick kisses for some reason.

What got me was that the signs were exclusively in English. I admired the way that combined "being a gigantic dick about it" with "being absolutely right."

Or the signs exclusively in english in amsterdam saying not to urinate in public?
 
2013-01-07 02:38:32 PM
"The woman in the passenger seat is not your wife. She will kill you if she finds out."
 
2013-01-07 02:39:30 PM

draypresct: (vehicles are crash-test rated only up to a change in velocity of 30 MPH


That's 60 mph, if you hit a stopped vehicle.

/It's 30mph if you hit a tree, or another car also coming at you at 30mph
 
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