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(WFAA Fort Worth)   Pastor speaking to congregation: "I have a confession to make, me and my ex-wife were into porn, booze, and drugs. And well, I'm a convicted sex offender... So we cool?"   (wfaa.com) divider line 81
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13223 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jan 2013 at 8:08 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-07 08:05:50 AM
Well, if you're going to preach about the evils of a sinful life, I guess it's best it comes from someone who has some experience in that realm.
 
2013-01-07 08:10:47 AM
Congregation: "Yup."
 
2013-01-07 08:11:51 AM
Well, at least he's not gay. Because that can't be forgiven.
 
2013-01-07 08:14:00 AM
As long as he doesn't own any evil black scary guns, it's all good.

You can molest the children all you want, just don't shoot them.
 
2013-01-07 08:14:57 AM
 
2013-01-07 08:15:28 AM
Would not want to see that guy in a porno.

/damn mental images
//whar be the brain bleach?
 
2013-01-07 08:16:32 AM
I can forgive everything except the expression "me and my wife"
 
2013-01-07 08:17:38 AM
I think I might have trouble sleeping through that sermon.
 
2013-01-07 08:18:09 AM
Meh, 1993 was a pretty long time ago
 
2013-01-07 08:19:13 AM
And if he's living a Christian life now and has repented then the people of his church should have no problem with that right? That's how Christians operate... right?
 
2013-01-07 08:20:05 AM
He's into offensive sex and he's willing to own it. Really, we can all take a page out of this guy's book. He is who he is- an offensive sex haver who likes to get ripped, hit all the walls and snort Ritalin. Let those without sin cast the first stone.
 
2013-01-07 08:20:10 AM

Cythraul: Well, if you're going to preach about the evils of a sinful life, I guess it's best it comes from someone who has some experience in that realm.


i479.photobucket.com

Preach, brother
 
2013-01-07 08:20:52 AM
Subby how do you take a near word for word quote from an article and mess it up? Are you a Fox News intern?

Into != in.
 
2013-01-07 08:21:09 AM
meh, religious types always embrace the 'former bad boy turned to God and repents' stories.  If he did that shiat last week, that'd be different, but it was 20 years ago.

Whatever floats your boats jesus freaks.
 
2013-01-07 08:21:42 AM
With the possible exception of the sex offense conviction, that is every pastor ever.
 
2013-01-07 08:23:26 AM
Speaking of this kind of behavior, did anyone else think they caught the douche from the Hellhouse documentary out in a lie when he told the camera that he had done drugs and been to raves and that's why he was in charge of the drug/rave part of the religious haunted house? He was totally talking shiat up for his girlfriend and I bet he got two up in it that night.
 
2013-01-07 08:25:54 AM
The Devil in Mrs Jones.
 
2013-01-07 08:30:28 AM

computerguyUT: As long as he doesn't own any evil black scary guns, it's all good.

You can molest the children all you want, just don't shoot them.


What the fark do guns have to do with it? I swear, you farking gun nuts pretend to be persecuted almost as much as Christians do. We get it, you have a small dick and over compensate for it by carrying a gun. Now go back to jacking off to Guns and Ammo and let the grown ups talk.
 
2013-01-07 08:31:27 AM

SockMonkeyHolocaust: Speaking of this kind of behavior, did anyone else think they caught the douche from the Hellhouse documentary out in a lie when he told the camera that he had done drugs and been to raves and that's why he was in charge of the drug/rave part of the religious haunted house? He was totally talking shiat up for his girlfriend and I bet he got two up in it that night.


There's a 'hellhouse' documentary?
 
2013-01-07 08:33:19 AM

Coffee Snob: computerguyUT: As long as he doesn't own any evil black scary guns, it's all good.

You can molest the children all you want, just don't shoot them.

What the fark do guns have to do with it? I swear, you farking gun nuts pretend to be persecuted almost as much as Christians do. We get it, you have a small dick and over compensate for it by carrying a gun. Now go back to jacking off to Guns and Ammo and let the grown ups talk.


It is called thread jacking by a troll
 
2013-01-07 08:34:50 AM
I picked the wrong line of work. You can get away with anything doing the Jesus bit.
 
2013-01-07 08:35:40 AM

kregh99: I picked the wrong line of work. You can get away with anything doing the Jesus bit.


The problem is that you can never indulge the sinful lifestyle again after you get all Jesusified and stuff.
 
2013-01-07 08:35:57 AM
convicted in 1993 for the sexual assault of his ex-wife

Not a kiddy diddler, so he's obviously not Catholic.

Ehh, I'm feeling off my game. I should have something more clever for this thread, but all the easy ones were already covered.
 
2013-01-07 08:36:22 AM
www.quotespapa.com
"I think I'll go for the life of sin, followed by a presto-change-o deathbed repentance."
 
2013-01-07 08:36:36 AM
As long as the congregation knows that there is a big difference between kneeling down and bending over everything should be good.
 
2013-01-07 08:38:14 AM
So let me get this straight, he was getting strange, drunk and stoned a lot but then one day he just sat down and decided that his life had to change? I don't believe it.

if it ain't broke.....
 
2013-01-07 08:38:40 AM
Sounds like my kind of pastor. Maybe a bit excessively honest, but nobody's perfect.
 
2013-01-07 08:43:01 AM
I believe in the family
With my ever-loving wife beside me
She don't know about my girlfriend
Or the man I met last night
Do you believe in God
'Cause that is what I'm selling
And if you want to get to heaven
I'll see you right

/jesus he knows me
//get me $18M by the weekend
///in the name of jeee-sus
 
2013-01-07 08:44:12 AM
freethinker.co.uk

He was in Mustache Riders 1 and 3. Sadly, Mustache Riders 2 really wasn't about mustache riders. It was just a compilations of 8mm porno booth films converted to tape and sound dubbed in. They tried to market it as a follow on to MR1 but the real fans didn't buy it.
 
2013-01-07 08:45:24 AM

gerbilpox: [www.quotespapa.com image 180x283]
"I think I'll go for the life of sin, followed by a presto-change-o deathbed repentance."


images.wikia.com

That's a good angle.
 
2013-01-07 08:46:19 AM
You mean he was living one kind of life, came to a realization that he needed to change, repented, and is now telling others of what happened to turn his life around? sounds like some of them stories what's in that there Big Book.
 
2013-01-07 08:47:51 AM
Acknowledging that assault on your wife is something that requires forgiveness is a step in the right direction.
 
2013-01-07 08:48:09 AM
He did not say he was into porn, he said "me and my ex-wife were in porn." What porn? I somehow do not think I'd want to hear him preach or teach my kids....
 
2013-01-07 08:53:06 AM

The_Original_Roxtar: You mean he was living one kind of life, came to a realization that he needed to change, repented, and is now telling others of what happened to turn his life around? sounds like some of them stories what's in that there Big Book.


I think part of the problem here is he wasn't telling people about his big life turnaround.

Of course, he could never have gotten to the position where he could tell people about it if he had been forthright from the start. But does that excuse the deception? We're talking about a man convicted of sexual assault here.

Well, it could be worse. He could be gay.
 
2013-01-07 08:55:39 AM
God is not amused!
 
2013-01-07 08:56:17 AM

Cythraul: Well, if you're going to preach about the evils of a sinful life, I guess it's best it comes from someone who has some experience in that realm.



lol some, though, require more experience than others.
 
2013-01-07 08:56:43 AM

NeoBad: He did not say he was into porn, he said "me and my ex-wife were in porn." What porn? I somehow do not think I'd want to hear him preach or teach my kids....


Why not? It's not like he's going to teach them anything different because of his background. If having had sex makes you incapable being trusted with children if have some bad news for you about where babies come from.
 
2013-01-07 08:57:44 AM

sidcart42: Congregation: "Yup."


Probably followed by, "Praise Jesus, you are forgiven!"
 
2013-01-07 08:58:58 AM
Porn, booze, drugs, sexual assault... This is what happens when you take God out of pastors.
 
2013-01-07 08:59:35 AM
Link NSFW

And yes, I know Landover Baptist is satire, but in this particular instance they are on to the truth - current Televangelist Melissa Scott is a former Porn actress who performed under the name Barbi Bridges.


http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=59699
 
2013-01-07 08:59:51 AM

mittromneysdog: The_Original_Roxtar: You mean he was living one kind of life, came to a realization that he needed to change, repented, and is now telling others of what happened to turn his life around? sounds like some of them stories what's in that there Big Book.

I think part of the problem here is he wasn't telling people about his big life turnaround.

Of course, he could never have gotten to the position where he could tell people about it if he had been forthright from the start. But does that excuse the deception? We're talking about a man convicted of sexual assault here.

Well, it could be worse. He could be gay.


look at the timeline.. the assault was 20 years ago
the election to the position of Pastor was "recent"

Repentance, forgiveness... these are at the very core of Christ's teachings.
 
2013-01-07 09:11:03 AM
Remember that article about how psychopathy was over represented among CEOs and politicians? I have no doubt that holds doubly so for religious leaders.
 
2013-01-07 09:11:40 AM

serial_crusher: Meh, 1993 was a pretty long time ago


And the victim was his ex-wife.  I'm not saying that all ex-wives are evil, but some ex-wives are evil.
 
2013-01-07 09:12:16 AM

Cythraul: kregh99: I picked the wrong line of work. You can get away with anything doing the Jesus bit.

The problem is that you can never indulge the sinful lifestyle again after you get all Jesusified and stuff.


Tracy Jordan: Hey, did you hear the good news, J.D.? I'm Irish Catholic now, like you, Regis, and the Pope.

Jack Donaghy: Oh, ho ho, no you're not. The church already has enough lawsuits.

Tracy Jordan: See, I can screw up now, and then just go to confession. No longer do I have to throw my parties in international waters.

Jack Donaghy: That's not how it works, Tracy. Even though there is the whole confession thing, that's no free pass, because there is a crushing guilt that comes with being a Catholic. Whether things are good or bad or you're simply... eating tacos in the park, there is always the crushing guilt.

Tracy Jordan: I don't think I want that. I'm out. [Jack turns to leave]

Jack Donaghy: [to himself] Somehow, I feel oddly guilty about that
 
2013-01-07 09:12:36 AM

Cythraul: SockMonkeyHolocaust: Speaking of this kind of behavior, did anyone else think they caught the douche from the Hellhouse documentary out in a lie when he told the camera that he had done drugs and been to raves and that's why he was in charge of the drug/rave part of the religious haunted house? He was totally talking shiat up for his girlfriend and I bet he got two up in it that night.

There's a 'hellhouse' documentary?


Yes. Don't know if it's streaming but you can at least rent it through YouTube. It's kinda interesting.
 
2013-01-07 09:15:28 AM

Indypendy: Would not want to see that guy in a porno.

/damn mental images
//whar be the brain bleach?


That, and I also wouldn't want to see that guy sittin' in my booze; pretending to be a stuffed olive.
 
2013-01-07 09:19:54 AM
FTA: "Me and my ex-wife were in porn, we were in the booze and the drugs"
 
2013-01-07 09:20:08 AM
"Me and my ex-wife were in porn, we were in the booze and the drugs"

In porn, or into porn? In booze, or into booze?
 
2013-01-07 09:21:22 AM

Cythraul: There's a 'hellhouse' documentary?


Yes and it is hilarious.
 
2013-01-07 09:22:34 AM
SO keep donating your hard earned money to pay my bills and I'll keep dazzling you with this B.S.
 
2013-01-07 09:30:34 AM

czetie: I can forgive everything except the expression "me and my wife"


I believe that is the reason for the "fail" tag.

/bad grammar is an unforgivable sin.
 
2013-01-07 09:31:46 AM
Good thing he wasn't a teacher - he'd be out of a job now.
 
2013-01-07 09:37:54 AM
Religion: Because the rewards of booze, sex and drugs are all waiting to be claimed by those who denounce them the loudest.
 
2013-01-07 09:38:09 AM
Ah! This is what they dream about. The good ole days.
www.medievalwarfare.info
 
2013-01-07 09:41:08 AM

Deep Contact: Ah! This is what they dream about. The good ole days.
[www.medievalwarfare.info image 300x228]


I think that says more about you than it does about them.

/you poor damaged soul
 
2013-01-07 09:45:46 AM
The reformed whore sings loudest in the church choir, or something.
All sinners are saints, etc.

/lack of surprise
 
2013-01-07 09:46:40 AM
Crewmannumber6: "Preach, brother"

That was the first thing that popped into my head on reading the headline.

/leaving satisfied
 
2013-01-07 09:46:54 AM
I can forgive the booze, the drugs and the porn. But it should be "my ex-wife and I...".

The grammar I cannot forgive.
 
2013-01-07 09:49:41 AM
So, how many underage girls in the congregation has he laid?
 
2013-01-07 09:54:02 AM
Dumbasses. Dude lied about his past to get elected and they still support him. The "We all have a past" lady looks like she spent some hard nights down at the bus station if you know what I mean.
 
2013-01-07 09:57:40 AM

Harry Freakstorm: [freethinker.co.uk image 500x307]

He was in Mustache Riders 1 and 3. Sadly, Mustache Riders 2 really wasn't about mustache riders. It was just a compilations of 8mm porno booth films converted to tape and sound dubbed in. They tried to market it as a follow on to MR1 but the real fans didn't buy it.


Thank goodness that someone on Fark always has the sources, pronto.
 
2013-01-07 09:58:56 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.


Then a rock flew from the back of the crowd, hitting him in the mouth, and he said, "Don't be a smartass, Mom!"
 
2013-01-07 10:05:33 AM

GRCooper: Remember that article about how psychopathy was over represented among CEOs and politicians? I have no doubt that holds doubly so for religious leaders.


Probably because your don't remember what the article said or never read it.
 
2013-01-07 10:17:10 AM
YouBWrong

Dumbasses. Dude lied about his past to get elected and they still support him. The "We all have a past" lady looks like she spent some hard nights down at the bus station if you know what I mean.


Amen, brother.
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-07 10:18:33 AM

Coffee Snob: computerguyUT: As long as he doesn't own any evil black scary guns, it's all good.

You can molest the children all you want, just don't shoot them.

What the fark do guns have to do with it? I swear, you farking gun nuts pretend to be persecuted almost as much as Christians do. We get it, you have a small dick and over compensate for it by carrying a gun. Now go back to jacking off to Guns and Ammo and let the grown ups talk.


Relax, friend. Its the topic of the day and shouty dingleberries are going to shout about it everywhere.

/snot like grabbers are innocent either. Plenty or unrelated threads with people hurrring about wild hogs.
 
2013-01-07 10:20:59 AM

safeinsane: I believe in the family
With my ever-loving wife beside me
She don't know about my girlfriend
Or the man I met last night
Do you believe in God
'Cause that is what I'm selling
And if you want to get to heaven
I'll see you right

/jesus he knows me
//get me $18M by the weekend
///in the name of jeee-sus


Hey, it's just the way they walk man
 
2013-01-07 11:43:05 AM
Looks like someone in the congregation found out about his past and advertised it... then he had to go public over the rumors. If he had previously told the church elders about it during the hiring process, I could see how it'd be a touchy issue and maybe not everyone's business. Hiring & ordination is a pretty long process. Our pastors have been with us for 3 & 4 years and are just now ordained.

In my denomination, the elders can fire the pastor if they have to. He'd have to have some sort of ongoing unrepentant sin, or be teaching something that was unsupportable. I'd feel like firing him if he went 'prosperity gospel' (leaving the congregation unprepared for when things go bad).

Not a pastor, but when they were considering me for jobs in the church, they compared my current behavior with the biblical prerequisites for that job. A lot of the congregation has heard my public testimony. Not all the titillating details, but enough to have a pretty accurate idea of what I've done. The guy who 'disciples' me has heard pretty much everything. He merely told them that I met the prerequisites.
 
2013-01-07 11:45:51 AM

retarded: I can forgive the booze, the drugs and the porn. But it should be "my ex-wife and I...".

The grammar I cannot forgive.


Not reading even the first seven comments before posting I cannot forgive.
 
2013-01-07 12:25:50 PM
"Me and my wife ..."

positiveoutlooksblog.files.wordpress.com

Thanks Pastor Woo-Woo. Too many people already associate Christians with jug eared inbreds. And then you went and confessed all the sewers you did the backstroke through ...
 
2013-01-07 12:38:22 PM
kregh99: I picked the wrong line of work. You can get away with anything doing the Jesus bit.

The problem is that you can never indulge the sinful lifestyle again after you get all Jesusified and stuff.


Sure you can. If you get caught you just play the "frail human being led astray by temptation" card.

Good thing he wasn't a teacher - he'd be out of a job now.

THIS
 
2013-01-07 01:20:37 PM

czetie: retarded: I can forgive the booze, the drugs and the porn. But it should be "my ex-wife and I...".

The grammar I cannot forgive.

Not reading even the first seven comments before posting I cannot forgive.


Being mad at me for posting a similar comment and also being too lazy to read comments before my own I can forgive.
 
2013-01-07 01:27:07 PM

retarded: czetie: retarded: I can forgive the booze, the drugs and the porn. But it should be "my ex-wife and I...".

The grammar I cannot forgive.

Not reading even the first seven comments before posting I cannot forgive.

Being mad at me for posting a similar comment and also being too lazy to read comments before my own I can forgive.


On reflection I realize I'm mad at myself. Having somebody else come up with exactly the same joke made me realize it wasn't nearly as witty as I thought. But I forgive me.
 
2013-01-07 02:12:42 PM

czetie: retarded: czetie: retarded: I can forgive the booze, the drugs and the porn. But it should be "my ex-wife and I...".

The grammar I cannot forgive.

Not reading even the first seven comments before posting I cannot forgive.

Being mad at me for posting a similar comment and also being too lazy to read comments before my own I can forgive.

On reflection I realize I'm mad at myself. Having somebody else come up with exactly the same joke made me realize it wasn't nearly as witty as I thought. But I forgive me.


I'm looking on the bright side and saying that were were independently witty. So there is nothing to forgive and really just compliments to be had.
 
2013-01-07 04:48:14 PM
Forgiveness? What kind of religion do you think this is?
 
2013-01-07 07:04:39 PM
Cool. They're people of the Bible - they'll appreciate it if we stone them to death for adultery....
 
2013-01-07 07:42:02 PM

Crewmannumber6: Deep Contact: Ah! This is what they dream about. The good ole days.
[www.medievalwarfare.info image 300x228]

I think that says more about you than it does about them.

/you poor damaged soul


There are no souls, just religious freaks who abuse kids.
 
2013-01-07 07:52:19 PM
my guess is that he was discovered and the news was already moving around.
 
2013-01-07 07:59:29 PM
Oh, good lord - I don't think I'da told that...
userserve-ak.last.fm
 
2013-01-08 01:56:43 AM
As long as he doesn't show everyone the beastiality sex film staring his wife and that procupine from the National Zoo.
 
2013-01-08 08:36:22 AM

Deep Contact: Crewmannumber6: Deep Contact: Ah! This is what they dream about. The good ole days.
[www.medievalwarfare.info image 300x228]

I think that says more about you than it does about them.

/you poor damaged soul

There are no souls, just religious freaks who abuse kids.


I didn't see anything in this article about kids so, again, I think you're telling us more about yourself than you're meaning to.
 
2013-01-10 11:16:58 PM

wildcardjack: convicted in 1993 for the sexual assault of his ex-wife

Not a kiddy diddler, so he's obviously not Catholic.

Ehh, I'm feeling off my game. I should have something more clever for this thread, but all the easy ones were already covered.


1993? He might have gotten a blow job or tried the backdoor in a Southern state. Sodomy laws were still enforced in some places against "undesirables" a lot later than most people think.
 
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