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(Des Moines Register)   Police officer injured after being stabbed with a screwdriver. The suspect was quickly nailed, and the judge will undoubtedly drop the hammer on him, though it's unclear if anyone saw what happened   (desmoinesregister.com) divider line 63
    More: Scary, screwdrivers, hammers  
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1814 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jan 2013 at 4:35 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



63 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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feckingmorons [TotalFark]
2013-01-06 09:44:41 PM
Riveting headline!
 
MaudlinMutantMollusk [TotalFark]
2013-01-06 09:45:42 PM
I guess that threw a wrench into the perp's plan
 
Nothing To See Here
2013-01-06 09:47:06 PM
What a tool.
 
dj_bigbird [TotalFark]
2013-01-06 09:54:58 PM
He's gonna get screwed in prison.
 
One Bad Apple [TotalFark]
2013-01-06 10:05:50 PM
This is awl so terrible
 
AdolfOliverPanties [TotalFark]
2013-01-06 10:06:35 PM
This headline is my only vise.
 
GAT_00
2013-01-06 10:13:15 PM
Penis.

/am I doing this right?
 
fusillade762 [TotalFark]
2013-01-06 11:59:45 PM
Police officer injured after being stabbed with screwdriver

So we know he was stabbed with a screwdriver but how did the injury happen later?
 
Methadone Girls [TotalFark]
2013-01-07 12:17:24 AM
Why wouldn't the suspect just bolt?
 
MaudlinMutantMollusk [TotalFark]
2013-01-07 12:19:47 AM
Methadone Girls: Why wouldn't the suspect just bolt?

Probably nuts
 
unlikely [TotalFark]
2013-01-07 12:25:16 AM
MaudlinMutantMollusk: Methadone Girls: Why wouldn't the suspect just bolt?

Probably nuts

He had a screw loose... hence the weapon at hand?
 
MaudlinMutantMollusk [TotalFark]
2013-01-07 12:28:20 AM
unlikely: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Methadone Girls: Why wouldn't the suspect just bolt?

Probably nuts

He had a screw loose... hence the weapon at hand?

One thing is certain: the situation ratcheted up quickly
 
AdolfOliverPanties [TotalFark]
2013-01-07 12:47:47 AM
MaudlinMutantMollusk: unlikely: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Methadone Girls: Why wouldn't the suspect just bolt?

Probably nuts

He had a screw loose... hence the weapon at hand?

One thing is certain: the situation ratcheted up quickly

Can't make it any planer than that.
 
Nothing To See Here
2013-01-07 12:50:34 AM
It might be time to ratchet up the investigation a bit.
 
feckingmorons [TotalFark]
2013-01-07 01:06:47 AM
The cop must be torqued off.
 
AdolfOliverPanties [TotalFark]
2013-01-07 01:14:14 AM
Not to worry.  I'm sure the cop knows the drill.
 
Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom [TotalFark]
2013-01-07 01:18:11 AM
Was the cop working for vice?
 
feckingmorons [TotalFark]
2013-01-07 01:28:22 AM
I am sure they will file charges.
 
some_beer_drinker [TotalFark]
2013-01-07 02:45:42 AM
Nothing To See Here: What a tool.

there we go. well done, sir.
 
SnarfVader
2013-01-07 03:09:50 AM
That must've been a gut-wrenching experience. I hope the officer pipes up if he needs counseling.
 
Knight of the Woeful Countenance
2013-01-07 03:19:22 AM
I wonder if this is all on the level
 
Chariset [TotalFark]
2013-01-07 03:44:27 AM
There was a local woman who tried something similar not too long ago.  They told the police to washer since she was a flight risk, but she bolted.
 
offmymeds
2013-01-07 04:45:55 AM
After a struggle, the 60-year-old was arrested. He is facing two charges of assaulting an officer, one charge of domestic assault and one charge of interfering with police.

What a tool. Well, he axed for it.
 
Public Savant
2013-01-07 04:50:10 AM
That police officer sure had a brush with death - I hope his chief recognizes this and never gives him the axe.

The perp should brace himself for prison, unless his upper body is chiseled. But he will probably get routed, anyway.

That said, I still think that he and the officer should meet up and bury the hatchet
 
Monkeyfark Ridiculous
2013-01-07 04:52:34 AM
Chariset: There was a local woman who tried something similar not too long ago.  They told the police to washer since she was a flight risk, but she bolted.

I'm sure she found somewhere else to plier trade.
 
RayD8
2013-01-07 04:54:41 AM
offmymeds: After a struggle, the 60-year-old was arrested. He is facing two charges of assaulting an officer, one charge of domestic assault and one charge of interfering with police.

What a tool. Well, he axed for it.

"interfering" with Police. Hmmm, where exactly did he stab him?

//bored?
 
sexorcisst
2013-01-07 04:59:31 AM
The Swiss army declined to comment.
 
allgrainer
2013-01-07 05:00:14 AM
Such a hideous crime. It is time to ban the screwdrivers. They are tools of death and destruction. How many more senseless screwdriver injuries can this country take before the government does something?
 
Mock26
2013-01-07 05:13:57 AM
I was annoyed by the adze on that webpage.
 
traylor
2013-01-07 05:23:45 AM
sexorcisst: The Swiss army declined to comment.

I think their comment would be: This guy isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer.
 
Point02GPA [TotalFark]
2013-01-07 05:28:05 AM
"stabbed with a screwdriver"
Righty tighty?????
 
fluffy2097
2013-01-07 05:41:45 AM
allgrainer: Such a hideous crime. It is time to ban the screwdrivers. They are tools of death and destruction. How many more senseless screwdriver injuries can this country take before the government does something?

We need to ban Assault screw drivers.

The risk really comes from extended shafts made of hardened steel, with interchangeable bits.

And of course, fully automatic screwdrivers absolutely need to be banned.
 
I'm no expert but...
2013-01-07 05:57:19 AM
Gripping story
 
another day off
2013-01-07 06:01:28 AM
The cops really need to clamp down on this type of thing
 
erik-k
2013-01-07 06:22:27 AM
allgrainer: Such a hideous crime. It is time to ban the screwdrivers. They are tools of death and destruction. How many more senseless screwdriver injuries can this country take before the government does something?

Oh look, it's this comment again.

A screwdriver is a tool of creation that can incidently be pressed into service as a weapon. Oddly enough, all the mass murder spree killers seem to choose guns rather than screwdrivers.
 
RayD8
2013-01-07 06:23:03 AM
another day off: The cops really need to clamp down on this type of thing

The vice squad was busy.
 
Ooba Tooba [TotalFark]
2013-01-07 06:24:06 AM
That's just plane crazy.
 
mike_d85
2013-01-07 06:29:11 AM
This all adze up to jail time.
 
Ooba Tooba [TotalFark]
2013-01-07 06:33:07 AM
He's going to serve time for that. He should have just wrote him a ladder. The pen is mitre than the sword.
 
probesport
2013-01-07 07:01:37 AM
images.zap2it.com
 
Thats an 827
2013-01-07 07:01:44 AM
Remember Goetz vs a screwdriver?
 
TommyDeuce
2013-01-07 07:03:12 AM
I was there man, I saw the whole thing!
 
MontanaDave
2013-01-07 07:10:40 AM
Crowbar hotel. You know the drill.
 
LonMead
2013-01-07 07:12:18 AM
Just as a reminder, those who abuse puns will be sent to Noman.

Noman is an island.

Now, I hope that's squared away...
 
CruiserTwelve [TotalFark]
2013-01-07 07:15:36 AM
erik-k: A screwdriver is a tool of creation that can incidently be pressed into service as a weapon. Oddly enough, all the mass murder spree killers seem to choose guns rather than screwdrivers.

That's because we have too many no screwdriver zones in this country.
 
KStDrew
2013-01-07 07:22:23 AM
I've been stabbed so many times with a screwdriver yet I'm still alive and ready for more:

mixnsip.com
 
frecklesotool
2013-01-07 07:32:56 AM
Perp doesn't sound very level headed.
 
probesport
2013-01-07 07:37:11 AM
LonMead: Noman is an island.

and his castle isn't home, the nest is for nothing when the bird has flown.
 
MyRandomName
2013-01-07 08:02:41 AM
When is the time to talk about screw drivers if not now.
 
way south
2013-01-07 08:10:17 AM
MyRandomName: When is the time to talk about screw drivers if not now.

Why do wing nuts twist every thread with tacking points?
 
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