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(Chicago Trib)   Breaking into your neighbor's condo with a knife, duct tape and an 8 inch sexual device is no way to spend a Saturday night, even if you are the Fire Chief   ( chicagotribune.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Tinley Park, Illinois, fire chiefs, condos, knife, Cook County Circuit Court, Gary M. Swiercz  
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9071 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Jan 2013 at 8:44 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



71 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2013-01-06 10:11:41 PM  

uncleacid: Did she have a burning bush?


Maybe he wanted to give her the "Flaming Amazon'.
 
2013-01-06 10:25:20 PM  

Gyrfalcon: With all that equipment and violence, I have to assume the motive for the attack was sexual assault. However, since he arrived with a "sexual device" I also have to assume he couldn't, shall we say, achieve penetration of his own volition. So will his attorney be making that point at his trial, one wonders? That he couldn't actually have raped the victim? Is that the kind of defense a potential rapist wants to present?

Decisions, decisions...


Did you RTFA? His attorney clearly stated that this attack was out of character for him, he is a fire chief you know.
 
2013-01-06 11:11:24 PM  
What a shiatstain.
 
2013-01-06 11:18:10 PM  
I think "tool" would have been a better term than "device".
 
2013-01-06 11:20:45 PM  

Unemployedingreenland: The hell you say! That's the beginning of a GREAT weekend around these parts.


This.

But subby did follow code from the airport security guy from Fight Club: "In the event of a dildo, we have to use the indefinite article 'a dildo', never 'your dildo'."

Lord Howard Hurtz: Easy there, Chief. I don't see 8-inch-dildo wound on the menu.


holy crap, I didn't expect a GPB reference when I woke up today. But that's the joy of life I guess.

/boudreau's coming! woofwoofwoof!
 
2013-01-06 11:28:22 PM  
Sexual assault with a concrete dildo...?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fTtgMqUNm4
 
2013-01-06 11:30:53 PM  
Than why did you have to tell the wife about it?


Actually I did not tell her about the dildo. It was plenty awkward just telling her about where we found him and in what condition with the cocaine and such. There is no way she could have taken any additional horror details to her evening. Needless to say, she didn't know about his extracurricular activities. Any of them
 
2013-01-06 11:34:58 PM  

AbbeySomeone: Gyrfalcon: With all that equipment and violence, I have to assume the motive for the attack was sexual assault. However, since he arrived with a "sexual device" I also have to assume he couldn't, shall we say, achieve penetration of his own volition. So will his attorney be making that point at his trial, one wonders? That he couldn't actually have raped the victim? Is that the kind of defense a potential rapist wants to present?

Decisions, decisions...

Did you RTFA? His attorney clearly stated that this attack was out of character for him, he is a fire chief you know.


Is there some attack that would have been IN character for him, then? These character-based defenses become so complex.
 
2013-01-06 11:39:46 PM  

Gyrfalcon: AbbeySomeone: Gyrfalcon: With all that equipment and violence, I have to assume the motive for the attack was sexual assault. However, since he arrived with a "sexual device" I also have to assume he couldn't, shall we say, achieve penetration of his own volition. So will his attorney be making that point at his trial, one wonders? That he couldn't actually have raped the victim? Is that the kind of defense a potential rapist wants to present?

Decisions, decisions...

Did you RTFA? His attorney clearly stated that this attack was out of character for him, he is a fire chief you know.

Is there some attack that would have been IN character for him, then? These character-based defenses become so complex.


Such a feeble excuse, she may as well have said that he broke in to rape her but changed his mind so it's all good, right?
 
2013-01-07 12:02:49 AM  
Subby is a liar. The article said nothing about the sex toy being 8 inches long. I feel cheated.
 
2013-01-07 12:07:30 AM  
FTFA: And Becky, who ran illegal brothels in the Home Counties for 20 years before retiring in 2010

Has Britain legalized brothels in the last couple of years?
 
2013-01-07 12:09:03 AM  
wrong thread. {sigh}
 
2013-01-07 12:32:02 AM  
And He's on paid leave?

It's good to be king.
 
2013-01-07 12:32:38 AM  

pueblonative: Did a Google search for "The Violator 1000", came up with two results: an attorney and a Mormon.

Coincidence?


Hey, use Bing and you'll find some mp3s by a MySpace band called The Violator 1000.
 
2013-01-07 12:53:41 AM  

vudukungfu: People who join Fire Departments are weird.
/And coming from me...


Guilty...

/at least my weird is harmless
 
2013-01-07 01:40:52 AM  
Deputy Fire Chief, subby.
 
2013-01-07 01:46:11 AM  
What a dildo in the news may look like. Probably (NSFW) or prime time.
 
2013-01-07 06:59:25 AM  
images.tvrage.com
 
2013-01-07 06:54:37 PM  

Sparky the Fire Dog: vudukungfu: People who join Fire Departments are weird.
/And coming from me...

Guilty...

/at least my weird is harmless


NO worries. This guy was "Bring lube to an abduction, rape, and murder scenario" weird.
That's a special kind of weird.
 
2013-01-07 06:56:12 PM  

WeenerGord: What a dildo in the news may look like. Probably (NSFW) or prime time.


(Q_o'

OMFG

Can't breathe.... laughing too hard.
 
2013-01-07 11:11:43 PM  

vudukungfu: Sparky the Fire Dog: vudukungfu: People who join Fire Departments are weird.
/And coming from me...

Guilty...

/at least my weird is harmless

NO worries. This guy was "Bring lube to an abduction, rape, and murder scenario" weird.
That's a special kind of weird.


Yeah. I'm more the Firefighter, RPG fan, and knows how to knit (WTF?) kind of weird.
 
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