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(Patch)   The CHiPs are down: California Highway Patrol announces job openings for the first time in 3 years   (patch.com) divider line 47
    More: Cool, chips, California, job opening, California Highway, background investigation, EBT  
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2346 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Jan 2013 at 2:12 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-05 12:00:41 PM  
I assume they need a Latino heartthrob and a nondescript blonde white guy to partner with him.
 
2013-01-05 01:02:12 PM  
i1079.photobucket.com i1079.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-05 01:06:49 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: I assume they need a Latino heartthrob and a nondescript blonde white guy to partner with him.


That might be what they want, but they will end up with 250 lbs fat guys stuffed into their uniforms that are out of breath by the time they walk up to your car to ask for license and registration.
 
2013-01-05 01:11:15 PM  
I can be the latino heartthrob. Well, not exactly. I've got white, freckly skin, but I do speak Spanish fluently.
 
2013-01-05 02:03:43 PM  
Guess what.

They are going to make him.

Joe's going to make you?

They opened the books.

Joe got the okay.

Can you believe that?

This latino bastard.He's getting made. We'll work for this guy one day. He'll be a boss.

I can't believe him. I'm happy for you. Congratulations.
 
2013-01-05 02:15:01 PM  
I applied to become a state trooper many years ago but lost out because minority applicants were being given bonus points on their tests.  Affirmative action can suck my dick.
 
2013-01-05 02:15:47 PM  
i291.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-05 02:16:29 PM  
offers unlimited opportunities for someone who is looking for a challenge."

SOunds liike military en;loistment propagand; ie well gikcinthe sjut aout of iyour!
 
2013-01-05 02:17:50 PM  

Maus III: offers unlimited opportunities for someone who is looking for a challenge."

SOunds liike military en;loistment propagand; ie well gikcinthe sjut aout of iyour!


sonof a bith... tthe gubbment finanly perfected the instant braiin fryer!
 
2013-01-05 02:19:21 PM  
I'm willing to bet they will get a ton of lateral transfers from other departments who have layoff problems.....like San Jose for starters.
 
2013-01-05 02:19:57 PM  

Brontes: FirstNationalBastard: I assume they need a Latino heartthrob and a nondescript blonde white guy to partner with him.

That might be what they want, but they will end up with 250 lbs fat guys stuffed into their uniforms that are out of breath by the time they walk up to your car to ask for license and registration.


Don't forget the handful of 5'4", 105 lb. semi-attractive bull dykes.
 
2013-01-05 02:21:44 PM  

Brontes: FirstNationalBastard: I assume they need a Latino heartthrob and a nondescript blonde white guy to partner with him.

That might be what they want, but they will end up with 250 lbs fat guys stuffed into their uniforms that are out of breath by the time they walk up to your car to ask for license and registration.


I just saw 6 Washington Staties at Starbucks (go figure) and they were all whip thin and looked to be about 12 years old.
 
2013-01-05 02:22:23 PM  
AAA with guns.
 
2013-01-05 02:22:37 PM  

Thanks for the Meme-ries:


God bless you.

/if that's your God
//I crack up every time at that pic
 
2013-01-05 02:23:58 PM  
Yeah, and they will put you out for a 5 year stint in Fresno or Imperial county. Yipeeee!
 
2013-01-05 02:24:30 PM  

Popcorn Johnny: I applied to become a state trooper many years ago but lost out because minority applicants were being given bonus points on their tests.  Affirmative action can suck my dick.


FTA: "Through this process, we are determined to find qualified men and women from diverse backgrounds..."

www.ladyofthecake.com
We don't want the Irish!


/Times haven't changed.
 
2013-01-05 02:25:29 PM  
blog.motorcycle.com

/obscure?
 
2013-01-05 02:25:34 PM  
Yeah, if there's anything CA freeways need, it's to be slowed down more.
 
2013-01-05 02:26:47 PM  
There are so many levels of redundant cops in this country it's ridiculous. If you cut government jobs by half across the board, no one would know the difference. Military, police, the bureaucracy, etc. Lots of easy cuts to make before cutting into anything actually useful to society (regulators, inspectors, R&D, etc.)
 
2013-01-05 02:26:56 PM  

sjcpjh1: I'm willing to bet they will get a ton of lateral transfers from other departments who have layoff problems.....like San Jose for starters.


It's not a layoff problem, it's a "I'm the mayor, I tea-bagged the city into believing we don't need to pay cops firefighters a living wage with a decent pension" problem
 
2013-01-05 02:27:49 PM  

SirEattonHogg: Yeah, and they will put you out for a 5 year stint in Fresno or Imperial county. Yipeeee!


Fresno? Where the hell is Fresno? Do they even have police there?

Never mind, I'll just be a CHiP in my own head.
 
2013-01-05 02:28:34 PM  
media.screened.com

When I wear blue, I am like the wind. A hot LATIN wind!

 
2013-01-05 02:32:22 PM  

blatz514: Thanks for the Meme-ries:

God bless you.

/if that's your God
//I crack up every time at that pic


See that pic often, do ya?

/not a homo
//NTTAWWT
 
2013-01-05 02:32:44 PM  
Bah! Call me when they're recruiting more TJ Hookers!
 
2013-01-05 02:33:39 PM  
www.topplers.net
 
2013-01-05 02:33:57 PM  

WhoopAssWayne: There are so many levels of redundant cops in this country it's ridiculous. If you cut government jobs by half across the board, no one would know the difference. Military, police, the bureaucracy, etc. Lots of easy cuts to make before cutting into anything actually useful to society (regulators, inspectors, R&D, etc.)


Yeah, everytime I see 3 cops lined up in a speed trap, I think, "Oh, good, all the rapes, murders, arsons, and rapes have been stopped! The city must be crime free if they're dedicating 3-6 cops to catch people going 6 over the limit."
 
2013-01-05 02:33:58 PM  
In my experience, the CHP is the least corrupt of California's various and sundry law "enforcement" agencies. If you have a beef with the CHP, you probably farked up.
 
2013-01-05 02:34:26 PM  
One of my best pals is the Commander at the Academy and another is the Commissioner.
Met them years ago when I was doing standup for Chips retirement parties.

Support the 11-99 Foundation.

That is all.
 
2013-01-05 02:36:12 PM  

Britney Spear's Speculum: it's a "I'm the mayor, I tea-bagged the city into believing we don't need to pay cops firefighters a living wage with a decent pension" problem



[citations]
[citations]
 
2013-01-05 02:38:32 PM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: In my experience, the CHP is the least corrupt of California's various and sundry law "enforcement" agencies. If you have a beef with the CHP, you probably farked up.


This has been my experience in pretty much every state I've lived in or traveled through. If I'm out in the middle of nowhere, I'd much rather be stopped by a state trooper than the night shift deputy from the Backwater County Sheriff's Office.
 
2013-01-05 02:38:47 PM  

Britney Spear's Speculum: Britney Spear's Speculum: it's a "I'm the mayor, I tea-bagged the city into believing we don't need to pay cops firefighters a living wage with a decent pension" problem


[citations]
[citations]


Ya, I super murder everyone around me when the cops have layoffs.
 
2013-01-05 02:50:04 PM  

Thanks for the Meme-ries: blatz514: Thanks for the Meme-ries:

God bless you.

/if that's your God
//I crack up every time at that pic

See that pic often, do ya?

/not a homo
//NTTAWWT


Ha. I got that in an email about 9yrs ago.
 
2013-01-05 02:50:12 PM  
Did California get a loan? Last I heard they were broke.
 
2013-01-05 02:55:26 PM  

Nothing To See Here: One of my best pals is the Commander at the Academy and another is the Commissioner.
Met them years ago when I was doing standup for Chips retirement parties.

Support the 11-99 Foundation.

That is all.


What a joke. That is known as the "brass pass" and you get a little badge and a license plate holder. Every other Porsche, Ferrari or 500 hp supercar sports those and they cost thousands to get in exchange for your bribe donation. They make you virtually immune from CHP predation. So much less awkward than forking over Franklins at the side of the road to get out of the ticket with points plus it's tax deductible and not a felony.
 
2013-01-05 03:06:08 PM  
As a kid I loved the opening sequence to CHiPs. Now it seems sort of dated and ridiculous... although the song is still pretty cool (biatchin synth!).

Remember that one episode where the tanker truck tipped over next to the downed live power-line and Ponch had to save the bus load of kids that were trapped between the two?

That was awesome.

/ opening credits Link
 
2013-01-05 03:20:07 PM  

TomD9938: As a kid I loved the opening sequence to CHiPs. Now it seems sort of dated and ridiculous... although the song is still pretty cool (biatchin synth!).

Remember that one episode where the tanker truck tipped over next to the downed live power-line and Ponch had to save the bus load of kids that were trapped between the two?

That was awesome.

/ opening credits Link


All the magic left for me when I found out that, during the scenes when they were riding side-by-side and conversing, they were actually mounted on fake bikes being pulled on a trailer behind the camera truck.
 
2013-01-05 03:29:20 PM  
I briefly thought about joining CHP years ago. Researched what it would take. They required at the time a rather extensive physical evaluation, including a 3 minute mile. You have to be willing to be assigned anywhere in the state, which usually meant rookies get assigned to the backwaters (hello Owen's Valley). The pay would have been middling, and I would have enjoyed the honor of being in a job that has one of the higher risk rates than most city or county cops. The requirements for city or county seemed to be taking a test and not getting winded going up a flight of stairs.

Needless to say, I just worked my ass off to get into IT instead. Made as much money starting there as I would have in CHP, with a much lower chance of getting killed in the line of duty and not have to move to the middle of nowhere for the job.

You have to either be dedicated to law enforcement or REALLY want to power trip to take that job.
 
2013-01-05 04:17:29 PM  

fuhfuhfuh: I briefly thought about joining CHP years ago. Researched what it would take. They required at the time a rather extensive physical evaluation,

including a 3 minute mile. You have to be willing to be assigned anywhere in the state, which usually meant rookies get assigned to the backwaters (hello Owen's Valley). The pay would have been middling, and I would have enjoyed the honor of being in a job that has one of the higher risk rates than most city or county cops. The requirements for city or county seemed to be taking a test and not getting winded going up a flight of stairs.

Needless to say, I just worked my ass off to get into IT instead. Made as much money starting there as I would have in CHP, with a much lower chance of getting killed in the line of duty and not have to move to the middle of nowhere for the job.

You have to either be dedicated to law enforcement or REALLY want to power trip to take that job.


You sure about that?
 
2013-01-05 04:23:17 PM  
They really only require High School diploma?
Around here they won't consider you unless you have done the community college (equivalent) degree in police techniques with good grades, then you get to go for a 6-week training course at the national police school...
 
2013-01-05 04:49:52 PM  

fuhfuhfuh: including a 3 minute mile.


The fastest mile ever run by a human is 3:43 by Hicham El Guerrouj of Morocco.
 
2013-01-05 05:01:24 PM  
If you can't run a mile in under 3 minutes,
you might opt for one of those black & white cars.
 
2013-01-05 05:18:58 PM  
sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2013-01-05 06:21:28 PM  
fc00.deviantart.net

California: where to be a cop you must first run a 3 minute mile.
 
2013-01-05 10:02:33 PM  
Thanks to the submitter of this article. I actually wanted to apply for them some time ago, but they obviously weren't taking anyone. I wasn't aware they were doing so now, and so I just submitted an application. It might be a long shot, but what the heck.
 
2013-01-06 12:51:59 AM  
I had a coworker who went through the process (took a few years iirc). Eventually got called to go to the academy. Never did find out whether he wound up in a heaven on earth like Barstow or Needles. Perhaps he lucked out and wound up in a big city. Like Bakersfield.

/11-99 is legally sanctioned corruption
//fun to watch locals paper the 11-99 people and listen to the ensuing CHP QQ
 
2013-01-06 03:42:58 AM  
sharetv.org

/hot like Estrada
 
2013-01-06 07:29:59 PM  

BigChad: fuhfuhfuh: I briefly thought about joining CHP years ago. Researched what it would take. They required at the time a rather extensive physical evaluation, including a 3 minute mile. You have to be willing to be assigned anywhere in the state, which usually meant rookies get assigned to the backwaters (hello Owen's Valley). The pay would have been middling, and I would have enjoyed the honor of being in a job that has one of the higher risk rates than most city or county cops. The requirements for city or county seemed to be taking a test and not getting winded going up a flight of stairs.

Needless to say, I just worked my ass off to get into IT instead. Made as much money starting there as I would have in CHP, with a much lower chance of getting killed in the line of duty and not have to move to the middle of nowhere for the job.

You have to either be dedicated to law enforcement or REALLY want to power trip to take that job.

You sure about that?


Sorry. 5-minute mile.
 
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