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(Illinois Times)   "911, what's your emergency?" "Whahawahawahawhawha" "Oh hi Father Donovan. Yes, we'll send an officer down to the church to help you out of the handcuffs and ball gag"   (illinoistimes.com) divider line 71
    More: Fail, ball gag, medical emergency  
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9695 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jan 2013 at 11:21 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



71 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-01-04 06:52:30 PM
I want to leave a witty or snarky comment, but the article simply is too full of epic win for me to really add anything. Nice find, smits.
 
2013-01-04 09:01:40 PM
FTFA: Sass would not disclose Donovan's whereabouts or say whether he is staying at a church-affiliated location.

Just what we need. Some chick giving us sass.
 
2013-01-04 09:14:28 PM
"Whahawahawahawhawha"


Guess now we know what the adults spend their time doing in the Charlie Brown world.
 
2013-01-04 09:38:03 PM
that call is comedy gold.
 
2013-01-04 10:09:38 PM
i1079.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-04 11:23:01 PM
Just can't trust those damned altar boys anymore
 
2013-01-04 11:23:43 PM
To siren?
 
2013-01-04 11:25:13 PM
Because remember: the Catholic Church will pay the ongoing salary of any sexually adventurous priest, but insists that all women are such worthless sinful hellbound whores that it won't work with any insurance company that subsidizes birth control.
 
2013-01-04 11:26:17 PM
But was the gimp brought out?
 
2013-01-04 11:28:01 PM
Are you sure it wasn't "Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa?"
 
2013-01-04 11:28:22 PM
That celibacy vow thing is working out so well!
 
2013-01-04 11:28:32 PM
Fifty Shades Of Clergy
 
2013-01-04 11:29:00 PM

Oldiron_79: But was the gimp brought out?


Last seen swinging on the bell tower.
 
2013-01-04 11:29:33 PM

JasonOfOrillia: Are you sure it wasn't "Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa?"


Orillia?
 
2013-01-04 11:30:43 PM

Apos: Fifty Shades Of Clergy


To specialize
 
2013-01-04 11:32:09 PM
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-01-04 11:36:58 PM
...from the rectory
 
2013-01-04 11:37:26 PM
So I occasionally entertain this stereotype of "conservative" = "greasy little pervert with shame issues".

Comes from a series of conversations I once had with a guy whose politics were pretty transparently self-serving towards the goal of "keeping the government's prying eyes out of his twisted, basement sex dungeon".

Confirmation bias kicked in and took care of the rest. I know it's unfair to people, and I know it's wrong, both factually and in terms of intellectual honesty.

Goddamnitsomuch, this kind of thing is NOT HELPING.
 
2013-01-04 11:39:53 PM
24.media.tumblr.com
Prime Suspect
 
2013-01-04 11:41:01 PM
Father Wharrgarbl?
 
2013-01-04 11:41:57 PM

Indubitably: JasonOfOrillia: Are you sure it wasn't "Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa?"

Orillia?


Indubitably
 
2013-01-04 11:42:34 PM
The comments are comedy gold!

Indigosmommy
it doesn't say anything about him being sodomized. Why would you say that? do you know something we don't?

gotosleep
Hi Indigosmommy-

It's well known that gagging and handcuffing are almost always associated with "sodomy." This is especially true when there are priests involved. It's the natural order of things..
 
2013-01-04 11:42:48 PM

stiletto_the_wise: Father Wharrgarbl?


Said a trumpeting garble.

*)
 
2013-01-04 11:43:46 PM

Indubitably: stiletto_the_wise: Father Wharrgarbl?

Said a trumpeting garble.

*)


*cries*
 
2013-01-04 11:46:39 PM
This is from the diocese where the bishop warned Catholics they would burn in Hell for all eternity if they voted for Obama.

I am not kidding.
 
2013-01-04 11:47:27 PM
Guy's a player.
 
2013-01-04 11:48:08 PM

Indubitably: Indubitably: stiletto_the_wise: Father Wharrgarbl?

Said a trumpeting garble.

*)

*cries*


To sorrow
 
2013-01-04 11:48:51 PM
Read his list of qualifications on LinkedIn. All that education and zero common sense.

Link
 
2013-01-04 11:50:47 PM

Indubitably: Indubitably: Indubitably: stiletto_the_wise: Father Wharrgarbl?

Said a trumpeting garble.

*)

*cries*

To sorrow


*Grrrrr*
 
2013-01-04 11:51:08 PM

gonegirl: Because remember: the Catholic Church will pay the ongoing salary of any sexually adventurous priest, but insists that all women are such worthless sinful hellbound whores that it won't work with any insurance company that subsidizes birth control.


will pray for you my damaged friend.
 
2013-01-04 11:52:04 PM

Indubitably: Indubitably: Indubitably: Indubitably: stiletto_the_wise: Father Wharrgarbl?

Said a trumpeting garble.

*)

*cries*

To sorrow

*Grrrrr*


Do you know what they say about poking the bear?

Bear-hat.
 
2013-01-04 11:52:08 PM

kmmontandon: "Whahawahawahawhawha"


Guess now we know what the adults spend their time doing in the Charlie Brown world.


Sax and violence?
 
2013-01-04 11:53:49 PM

Inhalien: Read his list of qualifications on LinkedIn. All that education and zero common sense.

Link


I once had a landlord that had a PhD

/couldn't change a frikkin lightbulb
//education =/= intelligence
 
2013-01-04 11:54:02 PM

Indubitably: Indubitably: Indubitably: Indubitably: Indubitably: stiletto_the_wise: Father Wharrgarbl?

Said a trumpeting garble.

*)

*cries*

To sorrow

*Grrrrr*

Do you know what they say about poking the bear?

Bear-hat.


That's the name of my future band: Bear-Hat. Yeah, I dig it. *)
 
2013-01-04 11:54:28 PM
He left the key in his rectory?
 
2013-01-04 11:57:01 PM
Meh. The Christians were into BDSM before it was cool.
 
2013-01-05 12:02:16 AM
The lead dispatcher's name is Sass. Had a news caster in my area that had that last name. His co-anchor was named Mina. There was a joke about them "Did you hear Mina got fired?? "Why?" "Because she kissed Curt Sass on TV."

Creepy preacher in the story though.
 
2013-01-05 12:12:55 AM
Would I be out of line to suggest that somewhere, someone is laughing their damaged-Catholic rear-end off, having left the unwitting priest in this vulnerable and embarrassing situation?
 
2013-01-05 12:13:40 AM
No comment:

www.assistnews.net
 
2013-01-05 12:14:27 AM

Macular Degenerate: No comment:

[www.assistnews.net image 220x293]


Said Gramma's eyes.
 
2013-01-05 12:15:59 AM

Aces and Eights: Would I be out of line to suggest that somewhere, someone is laughing their damaged-Catholic rear-end off, having left the unwitting priest in this vulnerable and embarrassing situation?


Certainly now that they saw it made headlines.
 
2013-01-05 12:21:15 AM
I

Inhalien: Read his list of qualifications on LinkedIn. All that education and zero common sense.

Link


Hey, wonder what caused his sudden change in interest from Ph.D to priest? I'm wondering if there was some "rectory" action that lead to him leaving the school in "good standing" in exchange for silence from all parties involved.
 
2013-01-05 12:24:30 AM
This...this is beautiful. I want to share this with everyone. I picked a hell of a time to quit Facebook.
 
2013-01-05 12:24:58 AM

UsikFark: IInhalien: Read his list of qualifications on LinkedIn. All that education and zero common sense.

Link

Hey, wonder what caused his sudden change in interest from Ph.D to priest? I'm wondering if there was some "rectory" action that lead to him leaving the school in "good standing" in exchange for silence from all parties involved.


To Transition
 
2013-01-05 12:25:36 AM
Deface.
 
2013-01-05 12:32:57 AM
I dunno. The last time I spoke with a priest he married me to my wife. Maybe a husband out for revenge?
 
2013-01-05 12:34:16 AM

sporkme: I dunno. The last time I spoke with a priest he married me to my wife. Maybe a husband out for revenge?


Devenge, man.

Peace.
 
2013-01-05 12:38:27 AM

Fista-Phobia: ...from the rectory


Rectory? Damn near killed him!
 
2013-01-05 12:46:46 AM

KrispyKritter: gonegirl: Because remember: the Catholic Church will pay the ongoing salary of any sexually adventurous priest, but insists that all women are such worthless sinful hellbound whores that it won't work with any insurance company that subsidizes birth control.

will pray for you my damaged friend.


Defending the actions of the catholic church regarding their priests' sex scandals?

You must be trolling.
 
2013-01-05 01:12:58 AM

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: That celibacy vow thing is working out so well!


One more time, celibacy = unmarried, chastity = no sex. Both are vows of priesthood.
 
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