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(National Geographic)   Over 1 million Britons have been plagued by vomiting and diarrhea this winter. This is not an article about cuisine   ( ) divider line
    More: Sick, norovirus, Baylor College of Medicine, diarrhea, cell type  
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5510 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jan 2013 at 10:12 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-01-04 10:33:57 PM  
4 votes:
I don't even know if the submitter intended diarrhea and vomit to be caused by the cuisine, or to be the cuisine itself. Seriously, you could tell me those guys had a traditional dish that was a horse bladder full of sheep vomit, boiled in pig diarrhea and I would probably believe you, especially if you gave it some innocuous name like "marbly custard" or "thropshirecaster pie" or whatever.
2013-01-04 11:34:23 PM  
3 votes:
Ah, the Norovirus. A thing so awful that I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

You haven't lived until you've experienced your body repeatedly trying to turn itself inside out through vomiting *while* violently trying to shiat out your internal organs. And this lasts for three days. Your dreams become more akin to a lighthearted trip on Datura, nighmarish and neither sleep nor really awake, save for the times your body shrieks NOW! NOW IS THE TIME! and you find yourself vomiting into a bucket and/or rectally puking.

Then towards the end comes the flatulence. I never knew my guts could have a ceaseless five-part round where one chunk of intestine would talk to another, then another, then work counter-clockwise around my abdomen where finally the most noxious, nasty and endless farts would appear. I must have farted for a good eight hours. The kind of farting where the room had so much stink, I woke myself up. Waking up to gagging on your own fowl wind (then having to open a window in January) is a special kind of hell.

You don't want to even drink water, nor can you keep it down. The only thing that eventually took were the chocolate nutrition shakes designed for the elderly.

The kicker is you never develop an immunity. The (@*# virus can live for over seven days, and isn't easily killed by cleaning.

I seriously wished for death. Don't get it.
2013-01-04 11:34:30 PM  
2 votes:
One in five deaths are attributed to diarrhea worldwide. Serious shiat.
2013-01-05 05:07:46 AM  
1 vote:
I forgot to add this very informative link...

It truly is serious shiat


/Take it from me, that shiat is dangerous
//I actually had dysentery once and nearly died from it
///Not a cool story bro
2013-01-05 04:02:16 AM  
1 vote:

had98c: Who are the Britons?

We all are. And I am your king
2013-01-05 03:16:10 AM  
1 vote:
what is it with farkers and descriptions in the most minutest detail of their recent date with the porcelain god?
Geez, farkers think shiatting and puking are a completely unfamiliar activity to a normal person--they all love to detail their flatulence as well.
I'd hate to think what a fark dinner party would be like--Monty Python's Visit to the Lavatory.
2013-01-05 02:38:44 AM  
1 vote:
Rufus Lee King

had98c: Who are the Britons?

What? We all are. And I am your king.

Well, I didn't vote for you
2013-01-04 11:38:38 PM  
1 vote:

Here it comes....
2013-01-04 11:36:26 PM  
1 vote:

Tyranicle: One in five deaths are attributed to diarrhea worldwide. Serious shiat.

2013-01-04 11:03:48 PM  
1 vote:
I got hit with it a couple weeks ago while working out of town. Spent 12 hours in the motel room on the john with the trash can between my knees. Those plastic can liners are quite strong and surprisingly leak resistant.
2013-01-04 10:32:11 PM  
1 vote:
Captain Trips unavailable for comment.
2013-01-04 10:26:40 PM  
1 vote:
You haven't lived until you have twin toddlers who get this at the same time.

At one point burning the house down and just starting over seemed like the only viable option.
2013-01-04 10:21:23 PM  
1 vote:
Who are the Britons?
2013-01-04 10:20:21 PM  
1 vote:
2013-01-04 10:17:12 PM  
1 vote:
The article would be about cuisine if they were vomiting diarrhea.
2013-01-04 09:40:24 PM  
1 vote:
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