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(io9)   The ten most pointless action figures ever made   (io9.com) divider line 67
    More: Fail, Robot Chicken  
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9690 clicks; posted to Geek » on 04 Jan 2013 at 5:40 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



67 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-01-04 04:21:16 PM  
On the most pointless website ever made.
 
2013-01-04 04:43:05 PM  
I was hoping for Owen/Beru
 
2013-01-04 04:43:14 PM  
Mutated Tom Paris made me lol
 
2013-01-04 04:45:16 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-01-04 05:04:30 PM  

Relatively Obscure: I was hoping for Owen/Beru


Those were not pointless. They illustrated the brutality of the Empire and the complete lack of fire prevention systems on Tatooine
 
2013-01-04 05:09:17 PM  
Pointless = rare = future collectible + future mention in article about rare collectibles
(and someone may have a warehouse full)
 
2013-01-04 05:22:41 PM  
mcphee.com

-- from mcphee.com
 
2013-01-04 05:43:49 PM  
a.tgcdn.net
 
2013-01-04 05:49:59 PM  

RexTalionis: [a.tgcdn.net image 543x800]


I love that they call it an Action Figure

Monolith, it just sits there
 
2013-01-04 05:51:48 PM  
Tau Ethereals?
 
2013-01-04 06:12:21 PM  
Then, at the bottom of the article they try to sell the figures to us via an Amazon affiliate link. WTF, io9?
 
2013-01-04 06:12:35 PM  
I had some Rock Lords when I was a kid. I liked them. I don't have a good imagination.
 
2013-01-04 06:15:34 PM  
Dolls. They're dolls.
 
2013-01-04 06:18:24 PM  

Ivandrago: I had some Rock Lords when I was a kid. I liked them. I don't have a good imagination.


Yeah. Fark that article. I still have my rocklords from 25+ years ago.
They made awesome baddies for my GI Joes to fight
 
2013-01-04 06:18:30 PM  
I guess 'action figure' is nerd speak for doll. Is it so you don't confuse them with blow-up doll?

/Blow-up doll probably gets way more action.
 
2013-01-04 06:18:44 PM  

President Merkin Muffley: Dolls. They're dolls.


YOU SHUT YOUR DIRTY WHORE MOUTH!
 
2013-01-04 06:30:04 PM  

DuudeStanky: Ivandrago: I had some Rock Lords when I was a kid. I liked them. I don't have a good imagination.

Yeah. Fark that article. I still have my rocklords from 25+ years ago.
They made awesome baddies for my GI Joes to fight


Rock Lord solidarity! Me and my brothers had them when we were younger, and they were awesome. If I could find them now, I would be very happy indeed.
 
2013-01-04 06:40:08 PM  
no moving parts. solid metal. crushes other 5" action figures into a fine plastic powder.

cdn103.iofferphoto.com
 
2013-01-04 06:44:25 PM  

Aboleth: Then, at the bottom of the article they try to sell the figures to us via an Amazon affiliate link. WTF, io9?


Seems the Mutant Tom Paris is worth ten bucks of uselessness
 
2013-01-04 06:47:13 PM  
If it weren't for the clikcity-clack sound this would be there:

www.jedidefender.com
 
2013-01-04 06:47:48 PM  
Is that the Six Million Dollar Man's boss?
 
2013-01-04 06:51:07 PM  

skyotter: no moving parts. solid metal. crushes other 5" action figures into a fine plastic powder.

[cdn103.iofferphoto.com image 300x300]


I've got one of those. Its one of the few figures, where if it drops, you don't worry about breaking the figure. You worry about denting whatever it landed on.
 
2013-01-04 06:55:54 PM  
what no Meat from the rocky toy line?
 
2013-01-04 07:06:51 PM  
0.media.dorkly.cvcdn.com

/ srsly, rock lords??
 
2013-01-04 07:14:39 PM  

zerkalo: If it weren't for the clikcity-clack sound this would be there:

[www.jedidefender.com image 420x607]


I got this one for Christmas one time. Everybody else on the playground had stormtroopers and rebel heroes; I had a clicky box that didn't even have a gun.
 
2013-01-04 07:15:48 PM  

President Merkin Muffley: Dolls. They're dolls.


So?
 
2013-01-04 07:17:21 PM  

AbiNormal: I guess 'action figure' is nerd speak for doll.


Again.. so?
 
2013-01-04 07:19:23 PM  
what, He-man Fisto didn't make the list?

you gon get fisted!

www.atomicmoo.com
 
2013-01-04 07:24:17 PM  
too serious for Stinkor, i guess.
 
2013-01-04 07:32:02 PM  
All Incorrect:

The correct answer is -
www.blogcdn.com

I've been hoarding this one in package for years...
 
2013-01-04 07:32:10 PM  

Relatively Obscure: I was hoping for Owen/Beru


And we're done.

/regular or extra-crispy?
 
2013-01-04 07:33:36 PM  
img39.imageshack.us

We're talking useless, right?
 
2013-01-04 07:38:55 PM  
I saw those lost figures at the shop and someone bought claire, there are some hurleys back there until today, still, battlefield earth? Serious?
 
2013-01-04 07:48:26 PM  
imageshack.us
 
2013-01-04 07:51:26 PM  

colimar: I saw those lost figures at the shop and someone bought claire, there are some hurleys back there until today, still, battlefield earth? Serious?


I wouldn't even call the Lost items figures. They were basically dioramas. The one for the hatch was actually pretty cool.
www.the-memorabilia-shop.co.uk
 
2013-01-04 07:57:21 PM  

halmot: [img39.imageshack.us image 320x320]

We're talking useless, right?


In the interest of fair play...

www.dadsbigplan.com

www.dadsbigplan.com
 
2013-01-04 08:02:30 PM  
I was going to suggest Han Solo frozen in carbonite, but I have to agree that Beru/Owen figures are even more pointless.

/i don't get it, what's so fun about playing with a building?
 
2013-01-04 08:03:04 PM  

loonatic112358: RexTalionis: [a.tgcdn.net image 543x800]

I love that they call it an Action Figure

Monolith, it just sits there



But it's full of stars
 
2013-01-04 08:07:15 PM  
not useless. no, not pointless or trivial at all. no, it's like art. yes, art

www.nerdismcomics.com
 
2013-01-04 08:07:26 PM  
www.stupid.com
 
2013-01-04 08:11:42 PM  
Someone was seriously farked up when they wrote that Voyager episode.
 
2013-01-04 08:16:29 PM  
Wow - that was a terrible list. Half of the items listed were obviously aimed at collectors instead of kids. And on top of that, they couldn't even get the right Star Wars figure.

www.finalfrontiertoys.com
 
2013-01-04 08:31:06 PM  
Came here for this, sad I have to do it myself.

i830.photobucket.com

PRUNEFACE!!! HE GOT AN ACTION FIGURE ANYWAY!!!
/nobody like robo-chicky?
 
2013-01-04 08:36:17 PM  

perigee: All Incorrect:

The correct answer is -
[www.blogcdn.com image 400x300]

I've been hoarding this one in package for years...


Came for Rocky's meat slab -- leaving satisfied.
 
2013-01-04 08:45:03 PM  

Dinobot: Came for Rocky's meat slab -- leaving satisfied.



That's what they all say.
t2.gstatic.com
 
2013-01-04 08:52:24 PM  
I have a Holographic Obi-Wan Kenobi. I think that sets a pretty high bar for pointlessness.

Partly for the lack of color, articulation, detail, accessories, and so on.

But also because it is a representation of the briefly-appearing fictional intangible likeness of a dead guy.

ecx.images-amazon.com

/hot
 
2013-01-04 09:08:51 PM  
www.cherrytoyshop.com
 
2013-01-04 09:10:36 PM  
If they released Anakin Skywalker (Force Ghost) with interchangeable Hayden Christensen and Sebastian Shaw heads then they'd have something.
 
2013-01-04 09:32:07 PM  

Relatively Obscure: AbiNormal: I guess 'action figure' is nerd speak for doll.

Again.. so?


I guess it's an early-90s sitcom in this thread??
 
2013-01-04 09:49:32 PM  
And the most useless vehicle/accessory:

i.imgur.com
 
2013-01-04 10:12:45 PM  
No "My Dinner With Andre" figure?
 
2013-01-04 10:20:58 PM  

jmsvrsn: No "My Dinner With Andre" figure?


Now with "bon mots"!
 
2013-01-04 10:28:02 PM  

jmsvrsn: No "My Dinner With Andre" figure?


It took until 51? Wow, first thought I had...
 
2013-01-04 10:42:31 PM  
Most of this list passes me by, which means I guess I agree, pointless, but fark them when it comes to Rock Lords.
 
2013-01-04 10:43:35 PM  
have two:
www.massivecollectibles.com
also useless:

c0.dmlimg.com
 
2013-01-04 11:05:55 PM  

PacManDreaming: And the most useless vehicle/accessory:

[i.imgur.com image 300x300]


Damn. That's like an Aquaman SCUBA suit/fishing harpoon combo.
 
2013-01-04 11:42:30 PM  
See: Willrod Hood.
 
2013-01-05 12:12:33 AM  
When it comes to useless action figures, you could write the article on just 'Star Wars' figures and nothing else. I personally had the following useless figures:

Power Droid - that box droid with legs pictured in the thread above.
Death Star Droid - no accessories, but movable joints
Imperial Dignitary - See in the thread already posted.
The Emperor - He had a cane, so that made his figure more interesting, slightly, than anyone mentioned thus far
Anakin Skywalker - Not from the prequels. No. This was released, mail order only, in the 1980s, based on Sebastian Shaw
Medical Droid 1 - Seen in Empire Strikes Back at Echo Base. He's a blue droid with a cord that runs from mouth to torso.
Medical Droid 2 - Cylindrical shaped, about ten arms that fold into the torso area, no feet, it just stands there.

But the MOST pointless:

C3PO. I had this figure when it was released between Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. Accessories the bag that Chewbacca carried him around in the second half of the movie. Special Feature - he came apart. Put the bag on your Chewbacca action figure, remove C3POs arms and legs, have Chewbacca lug around your gay droid. My parents bought that figure for me one day and before sundown that day I lost two of C3PO's limbs at the park. Thanks guys for an action figure that falls apart on it's own.
 
2013-01-05 12:44:30 AM  
my favorite action figure mod of all time was when a friend of mine took a Mario Brothers movie figure of Koopa (Dennis Hopper) and turned it into Frank from Blue Velvet, complete with leather blazer and nitrous mask.
 
2013-01-05 02:19:32 AM  

zerkalo: If it weren't for the clikcity-clack sound this would be there:

[www.jedidefender.com image 420x607]


*shakes tiny light saber*
 
2013-01-05 02:24:03 AM  

grinding_journalist: PRUNEFACE!!! HE GOT AN ACTION FIGURE ANYWAY!!!
/nobody like robo-chicky?


Just you and me, it looks like. How sad.

/I'm just here to fix the copier machine
//it's your toner, probably
///slashies come in trilogies
 
2013-01-05 03:52:43 AM  

spacemanjones: See: Willrod Hood.


Willrow Hood, his paunch and his ice cream maker is freakin' awesome yo!

img.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-05 02:15:43 PM  

ferretman: have two:


Shut your whore mouth! The b'omarr monk is AWESOME!!!
 
2013-01-06 05:35:23 AM  
A friend has an Invisible man bubble pack.
 
2013-01-06 06:15:21 AM  

buntz: ferretman: have two:

Shut your whore mouth! The b'omarr monk is AWESOME!!!


Indeed! Without those monks, Mace Windu would never have come back in Lando's body for Return of the Jedi!

reposting myself here:
Mace's body fell onto a passing speeder which was piloted by B'omar monks who were out for a night of joyriding and heavy drinking on coruscant. Although they were just floating brains in spider droid bodies, they knew they'd found a GREAT brain in this jedi's body (which was near death) and they had to preserve it.

They quickly took Mace's body to their shady mountain retreat on tatooine (where this annoying hutt was constantly throwing parties) and placed his brain in a B'omar droid body. Because Mace was so strong in the force he influenced the creation of this spider droid body and so it was made PURPLE. It also was engraved with "Bad Mother B'omar" on the side so he could be DIFFERENT and also really COOL.

Years later, Spider-Droid-Bad-Mother-B'omar-Mace noticed that Bib Fortuna escaped being a B'omar by putting his brain into the body of Bib's cousin, Bob Fortuna. Mace thought, "Hey if that weak minded, minor character can get such a contrived resurrection, why not the windu?" So he transferred his brain into this undercover rebel operative who was pretending to be a guard named Lando.

Soon everyone noticed that Lando was not such a sleazy, stab-you-in-the-back kind of guy anymore. Of course they made him a general right away. This was especially good since that way he could ignore and countermand every thing Admiral Ackbar would order at the battle of endor.

Then at the ewok celebration, Lando/Mace revealed his true identity as Mace to Chewy. He then used hand gestures to demonstrate to Chewy how one time Palpatine sent him flying out a window.

But the brain transplant did not connect Lando/Mace's motor control completely. And he never could master clapping his hands in time with the Ewok music. The End

/drops lightsaber to the floor
 
2013-01-06 10:11:56 PM  
images3.wikia.nocookie.net

Worker: "Uh, what does it do?

Phineas: "That's the beauty part! It does absolutely nothing! Now it can be anything we want!"
 
2013-01-07 03:55:08 PM  

grinding_journalist: Came here for this, sad I have to do it myself.

[i830.photobucket.com image 480x360]

PRUNEFACE!!! HE GOT AN ACTION FIGURE ANYWAY!!!
/nobody like robo-chicky?


I love Robot Chicken.
 
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