FARK.com: Blog (Unfreakable): Congratulations to the winners of Fark's 2012 Headline of the Year contests

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Congratulations to the winners of Fark's 2012 Headline of the Year contests
Posted by Unfreakable at 2013-01-04 1:30:26 PM (190 comments) | Permalink

More: FarkBlog, Fark, euro cup, Stephen Hawking

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Below are the winners and runners-up for Fark's Headline of the Year contest for 2012. This year, like every year, there are simply too many good headlines, and all of us probably have a favorite or two (or twenty) that were brilliant, but sadly didn't quite get enough votes to win their respective contests. It's a shame. To those submitters: damn good work and feel free to take a bow in this thread for one you feel proud of.

For the winners, this is your thread. Congratulations to you. Below are the results of the Headline of the Year contest based on your votes.

HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Alzheimer's Walk set for Saturday. Search and rescue set for Sunday
(submitter: justajonesin)

Runner-up: Missing algebra teacher found dead -- investigators looking to solve for why, query ex
(submitter: phlegmmo )

SPORTS HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Suh sued studio
(submitter: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad )

Runner-up: Czech Republic, facing elimination if they lose, hold on to defeat Greece in Euro Cup. This marks the first time in three years that the Greeks haven't bounced a Czech
(submitter: kiwannabee )

GEEK HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Stephen Hawking reaches 70. Must have been a really steep hill
(submitter: MrGronk )

Runner-up: Recent study finds six out of ten of us wake up grumpy every morning. The other four of us let her sleep in
(submitter: phlegmmo )

ENTERTAINMENT HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Whitney Houston beats Bobby Brown to death
(submitter: WhoIsWillo )

Runner-up: Congratulations to Amy Winehouse. One year sober
(submitter: Misch )

POLITICS HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: French, Americans, Germans and Saudis now allied against Iran, but will have to come up with a less-awkward acronym before the bombings begin
(submitter: Gulper Eel )

Runner-up: Bill Clinton doesn't have interns anymore, so he nailed his keynote speech at the Democratic National Convention instead
(submitter: Tell Me How My Blog Tastes )

BUSINESS HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: After BJs, Costco is eager to penetrate deeper into Virginia
(submitter: Joelogon )

Runner-up: If Apple continues on its current trajectory, it could wind up at $1 trillion. If it uses Apple Maps, it could wind up at a gas station in Botswana
(submitter: NecessaryMeansFor_NecessaryMeansFor )

CONTEXT HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Religious zealot set to take down Jets in New York City
(submitter: WhoIsWillo )

Runner-up: o_O
(submitter: shopball )

WORDPLAY/PUN HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Mother-of-two disfigured by seven tumors on her face says, "Tumor would benign"
(submitter: phlegmmo )

Runner-up: Thieves steal 450 miniature bottles of alcohol. Police hunt someone who is a little drunk
(submitter: plymwebed )

Congratulations and kudos to the winners!
· · ·

(view entire blog)

190 Comments (+0 »)

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dickfreckle		2013-01-04 03:55:06 PM

Unfreakable: dickfreckle: OK, the new comment system is acting weird. Whenever I use italics, bold, etc, my spacebar input doesn't register. Has happened way too many times to blame the beer. The other comma typo is all on me.

Send a Farkback here, use the dropdown that says, "Report a bug or error message"

Just did. And BTW, thanks for all the HOTY work! I'll be expecting my new keyboard from you any day now.

dickfreckle		2013-01-04 03:57:11 PM

sandbar67: All time fave: Bear mauling victim had tender heart, according to friends, family, bear.

My all-time fav was several years ago, but I still recall it vividly. If you're a sports fan you'll laugh: "Jets pound Hamas, earn spot in playoffs."

/has never figured out who subby was

Tell Me How My Blog Tastes		2013-01-04 04:00:15 PM

Huh. Didn't even know ole Bill & his interns was a choice... I shall cherish my TF as if it was my own.

ParallelUniverseParking		2013-01-04 04:05:03 PM

Dear winners & runner ups:
i483.photobucket.com

Congrats.

thecpt		2013-01-04 04:05:48 PM

dickfreckle: sandbar67: All time fave: Bear mauling victim had tender heart, according to friends, family, bear.

My all-time fav was several years ago, but I still recall it vividly. If you're a sports fan you'll laugh: "Jets pound Hamas, earn spot in playoffs."

/has never figured out who subby was

"Pilot still missing after plane crash. Well there's your problem." It's so simply brilliant, I don't think I can make anything as good. I think it got beat out by "gas blows out exit 69." but that has always been my favorite and it was back when I only lurked.

Staffist		2013-01-04 04:15:18 PM

Unfreakable:
You did a great job at putting this all together. Thank you!

tj614zu		2013-01-04 04:20:53 PM

o_O still kills me on clicking. My wife thought I'd had a stroke the morning I first hit that one.

RugNug		2013-01-04 04:25:05 PM

jimpapa: should be a Photoshop of the year.
all first place winners from each contest battle it out

POTY?

Tonto's Expanding Headband		2013-01-04 04:32:08 PM

The Whitney Houston one is just recycled from one with the exact same wording for Tina Turner/Ike Turner several years ago.

Misch		2013-01-04 05:06:38 PM

Arkanaut: Man, we are such terrible people.

//congrats to all and thanks for the lulz

Yes. Yes we are.

sxacho		2013-01-04 05:25:07 PM

That tumor one, man that's good stuff.

Joelogon		2013-01-04 05:34:40 PM

Wow. I hadn't been checking the subtab voting. Thanks for the contest and votes!

teeny		2013-01-04 05:44:45 PM

Thanks for the laughs, subbies. I have to add my admiration for o_O, but they were all really well done.

911Jenny		2013-01-04 05:50:34 PM

I somehow missed o_O on its first go around and throughout the voting threads but when I just clicked on it I lost it to the point that I needed my inhaler.

Thanks for making me smile on an otherwise shiatty day.

Congrats to all the winners and runner ups.

JudgeMuttonChops		2013-01-04 05:54:05 PM

Rindred: Still no justice for "Clown car drops transmission on lap 20"

THIS THIS THIS

badLogic		2013-01-04 06:02:45 PM

Arkanaut: ENTERTAINMENT HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Whitney Houston beats Bobby Brown to death
(submitter: WhoIsWillo )

Runner-up: Congratulations to Amy Winehouse. One year sober
(submitter: Misch )

Man, we are such terrible people.

//congrats to all and thanks for the lulz.

we are bad people and should feel bad.

jigger		2013-01-04 06:11:55 PM

Really? That's the HOTY? The big winner? The best of the best? Better than all the rest? That one? Ok.

Unfreakable		2013-01-04 06:16:40 PM

jigger: Really? That's the HOTY? The big winner? The best of the best? Better than all the rest? That one? Ok.

Those are the ones that got the most votes. "Best" is a highly subjective term.

Sgt Oddball		2013-01-04 06:17:19 PM

Well done all around. Stephen Hawking and Whitney Houston will keep me laughing for some time.

Indubitably		2013-01-04 06:19:25 PM

Should I be embarrassed I commented in more than one of these threads?

Nah, just bare-assed, no?

*)

P.S. Congratulations winners. You rocked.

shopball		2013-01-04 06:25:38 PM

CapeFearCadaver: The complete simplicity of o_O is still my favorite.

serial arseonist: CapeFearCadaver: The complete simplicity of o_O is still my favorite.

I agree

dickfreckle: I remember feeling guilty for the ten minutes I spent laughing at the o_O headline. And guess, what, I just laughed again! Congrats, shopball,even if it was runner-up.

tj614zu: o_O still kills me on clicking. My wife thought I'd had a stroke the morning I first hit that one.

911Jenny: I somehow missed o_O on its first go around and throughout the voting threads but when I just clicked on it I lost it to the point that I needed my inhaler.

Thanks for making me smile on an otherwise shiatty day.

Congrats to all the winners and runner ups.

Thank you, everyone who voted for me. Thank you, even if you didn't vote for me and just laughed...

Podmore		2013-01-04 06:35:14 PM

sandbar67: ITGreen: swaxhog: Why are all the runner up headlines funnier?

Some of them were, but there's no beating the "tumor would benign" one.

Thanks for the laughs.

This was HOTY for me ... it took me a moment to get it, but when I did .... I lost it. For my money, its way more clever and funnier than the overall winner.

All time fave: Bear mauling victim had tender heart, according to friends, family, bear.

Mine too! To this day, when I try to explain fark to someone unfamiliar with it, I mention that story and headline.

I also still vividly remember the morning I woke up and saw that headline. I had a giggle fit that just would not stop. My wife asked me what was funny, and it just got worse.

EnderX		2013-01-04 06:42:05 PM

GEEK HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Stephen Hawking reaches 70. Must have been a really steep hill

I was standing in a middle of a Bank when I read this headline, I LOL, and several people looked at me.

This should have been the overall winner!

EnderX		2013-01-04 06:44:21 PM

That Whitney Houston Headline was stolen from the Post when Ike Turner died.

Ike Turner beats Tina to death.

Anderson's Pooper		2013-01-04 06:47:26 PM

Thanks to Unfreakable for all the time and work in putting this together for the past few years. I know it's a labor of love for you but we do appreciate it. Also to all of the winners and runners up - Good work again this year. One of these days I'll join the list.

/Needs to be funnier.
//Also needs to have a link approved.

Stinkyy		2013-01-04 06:48:57 PM

2012: Alzheimer's Walk set for Saturday. Search and rescue set for Sunday
(submitter: justajonesin)

2011: Baby Jesus stolen from church nativity. Maybe they should try nailing him down (submitter: Sybarite )

2010: Coup succeeds in detaining Niger president, exciting teabaggers who misread the headline
(submitter: crimsin23 )

2009: Gas blowing out exit brings 69 to a complete halt

2008: Five killed and dozens injured in perfume factory fire. EAU DE HUMANITY

2007: Bear attack victim had 'tender heart,' according to friends, family, bear

2006: Floodwaters send sharks inland. So beware of... hang on a sec, there's someone at the door

2005: Pope denounces materialism from balcony of marble, gold-domed building in midst of jewel-encrusted religious icons while wearing giant gold cross
(submitter: awkward saw)

Jclark666		2013-01-04 06:49:19 PM

Unfreakable: - For the first-place winner: $250 Amazon gift card
- For the winners of each of the subtab, context, and pun contests: $100 Amazon gift card
- For the runners up in each contest: Six months of free TF

To those of you listed as the winner or runner up in the contests: contact me to work out how I'll get your prize to you.

Is this retroactive to 2007? :)

dickfreckle		2013-01-04 06:50:46 PM

911Jenny: I somehow missed o_O on its first go around and throughout the voting threads but when I just clicked on it I lost it to the point that I needed my inhaler.

Thanks for making me smile on an otherwise shiatty day.

Congrats to all the winners and runner ups.

I finally found you! Wanted to thank for that favor you did, but Fark's search kind of sucks and you have no EIP.

Anyway, thanks a ton. I may be hospitalized for a week (nothing OH NOES-worthy), but I will be back.

EnderX		2013-01-04 06:52:19 PM

That 2006 lineline is EPIC!

Jclark666		2013-01-04 06:53:00 PM

Podmore: sandbar67:

Mine too! To this day, when I try to explain fark to someone unfamiliar with it, I mention that story and headline.

I also still vividly remember the morning I woke up and saw that headline. I had a giggle fit that just would not stop. My wife asked me what was funny, and it just got worse.

I had a giggle fit the whole day, interrupted by bouts of shame and guilt.
/Subby

EnderX		2013-01-04 06:53:07 PM

that 2006 headline is EPIC!

Unfreakable		2013-01-04 06:57:30 PM

Jclark666: Is this retroactive to 2007? :)

Sadly, no. I talked Drew into it last year for the first time.

Bigdogdaddy		2013-01-04 06:59:18 PM

I thought there were much funnier ones than this, but congrats to the winners.

gameshowhost		2013-01-04 07:05:10 PM

"Whitney Houston beats Bobby Brown to death" will always be my #1 for 2012. Glad it won something.

Grand_Moff_Joseph		2013-01-04 07:08:09 PM

Honestly, I'm just proud that one of mine even made it to the finals:

Tomorrow's debate will feature two candidates with wildly opposite takes on every issue. Oh, and the President will be there, too

Seriously though, big congrats to the winners and runners-up. Awesome work!

Unfreakable		2013-01-04 07:14:55 PM

Grand_Moff_Joseph: Honestly, I'm just proud that one of mine even made it to the finals:

Tomorrow's debate will feature two candidates with wildly opposite takes on every issue. Oh, and the President will be there, too

Seriously though, big congrats to the winners and runners-up. Awesome work!

That one was a beauty.

Gulper Eel		2013-01-04 07:26:08 PM

Holy crap...I won one? There's hope for you yet, Browns fans.

Thanks to everybody who +1'd me!

Podmore		2013-01-04 07:31:49 PM

Jclark666: Podmore: sandbar67:

Mine too! To this day, when I try to explain fark to someone unfamiliar with it, I mention that story and headline.

I also still vividly remember the morning I woke up and saw that headline. I had a giggle fit that just would not stop. My wife asked me what was funny, and it just got worse.

I had a giggle fit the whole day, interrupted by bouts of shame and guilt.
/Subby

Oh, neat! I now have you favorited with "Submitted tender heart." My wife is my only other favorite, so feel honored.

FirstNationalBastard		2013-01-04 07:36:00 PM

Unfreakable: Grand_Moff_Joseph: Honestly, I'm just proud that one of mine even made it to the finals:

Tomorrow's debate will feature two candidates with wildly opposite takes on every issue. Oh, and the President will be there, too

Seriously though, big congrats to the winners and runners-up. Awesome work!

That one was a beauty.

Personally, What I felt were my best headlines didn't make the cut, and the off the wall ones I'd throw out there for the hell of it were the ones that made it to some level of the voting process.

sleepingbear		2013-01-04 07:36:20 PM

Stinkyy: 2007: Bear attack victim had 'tender heart,' according to friends, family, bear

And it was a very tasty heart at that.

Gulper Eel		2013-01-04 07:43:17 PM

Seriously, I haven't been this chuffed about Fark since I innocently started the legendary October 2009 slow-news-day-in-Greenport thread.

Can we do a thread-of-the-year section next year?

Indubitably		2013-01-04 07:43:21 PM

sleepingbear: Stinkyy: 2007: Bear attack victim had 'tender heart,' according to friends, family, bear

And it was a very tasty heart at that.

To bear

FirstNationalBastard		2013-01-04 07:46:00 PM

Gulper Eel: Seriously, I haven't been this chuffed about Fark since I innocently started the legendary October 2009 slow-news-day-in-Greenport thread.

Can we do a thread-of-the-year section next year?

Thread of the year?

Hell, if we'd had that for the past year, I'd have to nominate the Clown Car drops transmission thread. That was a beautiful trainwreck.

onearmedninja		2013-01-04 08:21:18 PM

Congrats to all the winners and thanks to all submitters for the laughs.

scruffynerfherder		2013-01-04 08:41:07 PM

o_O is still my overall winner. Anyone have the link to the original thread?

DarkHealer		2013-01-04 08:42:31 PM

Favorite from the Politics tab:

"Meghan McCain blasts Santorum. Well, I guess we all know now what she was doing earlier"

shopball		2013-01-04 08:56:04 PM

scruffynerfherder: o_O is still my overall winner. Anyone have the link to the original thread?

http://www.fark.com/comments/7234934/o_O#

/I would also like to thank everyone who originally voted this headline up the link voting page. This started out as a redlit headline.

L33t Squirrel		2013-01-04 09:06:45 PM

I had to click it to find out why "o_O" was so funny because it had been so long, and I laughed as heartily as I had the first time around. Simple elegance. And I also think that the Clown Car thread/headline should have gotten more love, but I didn't have TF at the time of voting and no access to Fark for most of the mainpage voting, so I've no idea if it was even in the running. :-\

/applause for the winners, big thanks for those who put this together
//would love to see "epic threads" and "photoshop contests" next year
///would be wayyyyy too much work for the mods, though

DarkDeepMoon		2013-01-04 09:09:40 PM

The o_O headline was great. Woke up the dogs from laughing so hard.

Bathia_Mapes		2013-01-04 10:30:51 PM

shopball: scruffynerfherder: o_O is still my overall winner. Anyone have the link to the original thread?

http://www.fark.com/comments/7234934/o_O#

/I would also like to thank everyone who originally voted this headline up the link voting page. This started out as a redlit headline.

I was rooting for it to win the Context Headline contest, but runner-up isn't too shabby. :-)

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