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Congratulations to the winners of Fark's 2012 Headline of the Year contests 
Posted by Unfreakable at 2013-01-04 1:30:26 PM (190 comments) | Permalink

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17388 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Jan 2013 at 2:30 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Below are the winners and runners-up for Fark's Headline of the Year contest for 2012. This year, like every year, there are simply too many good headlines, and all of us probably have a favorite or two (or twenty) that were brilliant, but sadly didn't quite get enough votes to win their respective contests. It's a shame. To those submitters: damn good work and feel free to take a bow in this thread for one you feel proud of.

For the winners, this is your thread. Congratulations to you. Below are the results of the Headline of the Year contest based on your votes.

HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Alzheimer's Walk set for Saturday. Search and rescue set for Sunday
(submitter: justajonesin)

Runner-up: Missing algebra teacher found dead -- investigators looking to solve for why, query ex
(submitter: phlegmmo )

SPORTS HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Suh sued studio
(submitter: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad )

Runner-up: Czech Republic, facing elimination if they lose, hold on to defeat Greece in Euro Cup. This marks the first time in three years that the Greeks haven't bounced a Czech
(submitter: kiwannabee )

GEEK HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Stephen Hawking reaches 70. Must have been a really steep hill
(submitter: MrGronk )

Runner-up: Recent study finds six out of ten of us wake up grumpy every morning. The other four of us let her sleep in
(submitter: phlegmmo )

ENTERTAINMENT HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Whitney Houston beats Bobby Brown to death
(submitter: WhoIsWillo )

Runner-up: Congratulations to Amy Winehouse. One year sober
(submitter: Misch )

POLITICS HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: French, Americans, Germans and Saudis now allied against Iran, but will have to come up with a less-awkward acronym before the bombings begin
(submitter: Gulper Eel )

Runner-up: Bill Clinton doesn't have interns anymore, so he nailed his keynote speech at the Democratic National Convention instead
(submitter: Tell Me How My Blog Tastes )

BUSINESS HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: After BJs, Costco is eager to penetrate deeper into Virginia
(submitter: Joelogon )

Runner-up: If Apple continues on its current trajectory, it could wind up at $1 trillion. If it uses Apple Maps, it could wind up at a gas station in Botswana
(submitter: NecessaryMeansFor_NecessaryMeansFor )

CONTEXT HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Religious zealot set to take down Jets in New York City
(submitter: WhoIsWillo )

Runner-up: o_O
(submitter: shopball )

WORDPLAY/PUN HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Mother-of-two disfigured by seven tumors on her face says, "Tumor would benign"
(submitter: phlegmmo )

Runner-up: Thieves steal 450 miniature bottles of alcohol. Police hunt someone who is a little drunk
(submitter: plymwebed )

Congratulations and kudos to the winners!
· · ·
(view entire blog)


190 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2013-01-04 02:17:29 PM

calbert: congrats all.

I knew MrGronk would take it with that Hawking one.


It was a runaway favorite (so to speak), and the main argument in favor of the repeat tag for great headlines submitted late.
 
2013-01-04 02:17:35 PM
The complete simplicity of o_O is still my favorite.
 
2013-01-04 02:19:14 PM
SPORTS HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Suh sued studio
(submitter: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad )

*applauds* That was a well played headline. :)

Runner-up: Czech Republic, facing elimination if they lose, hold on to defeat Greece in Euro Cup. This marks the first time in three years that the Greeks haven't bounced a Czech
(submitter: kiwannabee )

*boooooooo*

C'mon!!! No love for the Manning headline?! The thread itself was epic beyond all epicness.
 
2013-01-04 02:21:05 PM
I was really hoping this would be the year Phil Spector newsflash headlines made a come back.
 
2013-01-04 02:21:09 PM

swaxhog: Why are all the runner up headlines funnier?


Some of them were, but there's no beating the "tumor would benign" one.

Thanks for the laughs.
 
2013-01-04 02:21:50 PM

OlDood: prize: a year of TotalFark.
2nd prize: 2 years of TotalFark


3rd prize: you're fired

/Do I have your attention now?
 
2013-01-04 02:22:24 PM
Loved the algebra one, felt bad for a nanosecond about the "one year sober" one, then realized I didn't care.

Headlines are at least half the pun here.
 
2013-01-04 02:23:21 PM
Wtg Farkers.
 
2013-01-04 02:26:13 PM
Funny stuff.

I still maintain that the headline of the year should have been "Don Cornelius starts Black History month off with a bang"
But I seldom pick the winners in the photoshop contests either, so what do I know?
 
2013-01-04 02:26:37 PM
Congrats to the winners this year.
 
2013-01-04 02:27:26 PM
Awww, I thought my Manning headline was pretty good for the sports tab. I guess not.

Congrats to the winner though.
 
2013-01-04 02:28:52 PM

Unfreakable:

It was a runaway favorite (so to speak)


you see that? right there? that's why your headlines never win anything.

Unfreakable: and the main argument in favor of the repeat tag for great headlines submitted late.


I'm warming up to it. I mostly appreciate the acknowledgement that the link is a repeat.
 
2013-01-04 02:29:25 PM
Congratulations to all!
 
2013-01-04 02:31:41 PM
When are there going to be pictures posted of the winners in their new cars?
 
2013-01-04 02:32:15 PM
Yikes, there were many many funnier ones than those.

The entertainment one is just a ripoff of the NY Post from when Ike died, wtf.
 
2013-01-04 02:32:28 PM
I was happy that a couple of mine were even favorites much less winners.
 
2013-01-04 02:35:50 PM
Nicely done everyone.

You bastards.
 
2013-01-04 02:36:45 PM

sure haven't: Yikes, there were many many funnier ones than those.

The entertainment one is just a ripoff of the NY Post from when Ike died, wtf.


Meh, the context favorite is a copy of the sports headline of the year from last year. People who vote don't always have all of the background information. They just vote for what they think is funniest.
 
2013-01-04 02:37:09 PM
Good joerb, everybody!
 
2013-01-04 02:40:10 PM

CapeFearCadaver: The complete simplicity of o_O is still my favorite.


I agree
 
2013-01-04 02:42:49 PM

Ed Finnerty: When are there going to be pictures posted of the winners in their new cars?


i3.ytimg.com
 
2013-01-04 02:43:56 PM
What happened to the one about Augusta introducing its 19th and 20th holes?
 
2013-01-04 02:44:32 PM

dahmers love zombie: Excellent work, everyone.  This just makes me want to spend even more hours and hours and hours submitting headlines in the hopes that I will, one day, receive an Amazon gift card.

/off to scour the bowels of the internets looking for stuff


Yea, this has made me inspired to submit headlines again just to see if i can be funny.

/I can't be funny.
 
2013-01-04 02:44:34 PM

Ed Finnerty: When are there going to be pictures posted of the winners in their new cars?


img.izismile.com
 
2013-01-04 02:44:58 PM

Contrabulous Flabtraption: I didn't win anything again so fark you all


Me either.  But these are worthy winners.  Great job everyone.  Even the runners up to the runners up.
 
2013-01-04 02:47:12 PM

degenerate-afro: Awww, I thought my Manning headline was pretty good for the sports tab. I guess not.

Congrats to the winner though.


What was that headline?
 
2013-01-04 02:48:04 PM
Congrats to the winners, and the losers. I'd say about 40% of the headlines make me at least chuckle, so voting on the winners had me LOLing for days.
 
2013-01-04 02:50:43 PM
Next year you'll see my name splattered all over the winners....

either by submitting better headlines or via Photoshop.
 
2013-01-04 02:51:25 PM
Even if you don't usually care about TF, if you like these headlines I'd strongly recommend getting a month of TF at the end of November so you can influence what gets through. Some great headlines didn't make the cut.
 
2013-01-04 02:52:18 PM

Popcorn Johnny: What are the prizes for the winners?


For you its free entry in the Alzheimers walk.
 
2013-01-04 02:54:40 PM

too_amuzed: degenerate-afro: Awww, I thought my Manning headline was pretty good for the sports tab. I guess not.

Congrats to the winner though.

What was that headline?


I'm guessing that was the witness the firepower of a fully armed and operational manning or something of that effect. Possibly the best thread of the year.
 
2013-01-04 02:56:16 PM
Congrats to the winners! Great job.
 
2013-01-04 02:59:21 PM
Whitney Houston one was the best imo
 
2013-01-04 03:02:07 PM

too_amuzed: degenerate-afro: Awww, I thought my Manning headline was pretty good for the sports tab. I guess not.

Congrats to the winner though.

What was that headline?


Oh, I'm afraid Peyton Manning will be quite operational when your friends arrive

BTW, if you are worried about the whole "Stolen from the original thread." thing, here is the original
 
2013-01-04 03:11:52 PM
should be a Photoshop of the year.
all first place winners from each contest battle it out
 
2013-01-04 03:21:57 PM

jimpapa: should be a Photoshop of the year.
all first place winners from each contest battle it out


You know, that's not a bad idea...
 
2013-01-04 03:27:15 PM

cousndick: Whitney Houston one was the best imo


And it was even better when the Daily News or some other NY Paper did it in 2007 when Ike Turner died.

That's the only one I will legitimately biatch about even being nominated.
 
2013-01-04 03:28:15 PM
I remember feeling guilty for the ten minutes I spent laughing at the o_O headline. And guess, what, I just laughed again! Congrats,  shopball,even if it was runner-up.
 
2013-01-04 03:28:52 PM

Unfreakable: Even if you don't usually care about TF, if you like these headlines I'd strongly recommend getting a month of TF at the end of November so you can influence what gets through. Some great headlines didn't make the cut.


THIS
 
2013-01-04 03:28:58 PM

B.L.Z. Bub: Y U NO LINK TO THREADS?!?


From experience I have found that when you have an epic headline like any of the winners here there's little to actually say in the thread. The thinder has been stolen, driven over several state lines and shipped FedEx to the other hemisphere.
 
2013-01-04 03:30:21 PM
OK, the new comment system is acting weird. Whenever I use italics, bold, etc, my spacebar input doesn't register. Has happened way too many times to blame the beer. The other comma typo is all on me.
 
2013-01-04 03:31:36 PM

Skarekrough: B.L.Z. Bub: Y U NO LINK TO THREADS?!?

From experience I have found that when you have an epic headline like any of the winners here there's little to actually say in the thread. The thunder has been stolen, driven over several state lines and shipped FedEx to the other hemisphere.


This.
 
2013-01-04 03:32:46 PM

dickfreckle: OK, the new comment system is acting weird. Whenever I use italics, bold, etc, my spacebar input doesn't register. Has happened way too many times to blame the beer. The other comma typo is all on me.


Send a Farkback here, use the dropdown that says, "Report a bug or error message"
 
2013-01-04 03:36:06 PM

Rindred: Still no justice for "Clown car drops transmission on lap 20"


That one still makes me laugh.
 
2013-01-04 03:37:57 PM

ITGreen: jimpapa: should be a Photoshop of the year.
all first place winners from each contest battle it out

You know, that's not a bad idea...


Yes, we definitely need to have "the Lootie Invitational" thread.

/you know that's what it would become right?
 
2013-01-04 03:38:09 PM

TrixieDelite: Rindred: Still no justice for "Clown car drops transmission on lap 20"

That one still makes me laugh.


You're right, that's gold.

/hadtothinkaboutit
 
2013-01-04 03:39:47 PM

TrixieDelite: Rindred: Still no justice for "Clown car drops transmission on lap 20"

That one still makes me laugh.


And oh, dear god, the thread it spawned.
 
2013-01-04 03:41:31 PM
HOTY is pretty good, but I think "Whitney Houston beats Bobby Brown to death" is better.
 
2013-01-04 03:48:58 PM

ITGreen: swaxhog: Why are all the runner up headlines funnier?

Some of them were, but there's no beating the "tumor would benign" one.

Thanks for the laughs.


This was HOTY for me ... it took me a moment to get it, but when I did .... I lost it. For my money, its way more clever and funnier than the overall winner.

All time fave: Bear mauling victim had tender heart, according to friends, family, bear.
 
2013-01-04 03:53:46 PM
French, Americans, Germans and Saudis now allied against Iran, but will have to come up with a less-awkward acronym before the bombings begin

Bwhahahahahaha!!

/+1
 
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