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(Serious Eats)   OK, so, Guy Fieri had a bad 2012 with the poor reviews of his restaurant. But, I'm sure 2013 will be... oh, never mind   (slice.seriouseats.com) divider line 130
    More: Obvious, Guy Fieri, Indoors Pizza, restaurants, Sam's Club  
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9380 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 04 Jan 2013 at 4:45 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-04 12:58:34 PM
www.imglols.com
 
2013-01-04 01:01:12 PM
Who in their right mind would think of ingesting marshmallow pizza, anyway?
 
2013-01-04 01:05:17 PM
Holy fark.  No wonder Americans are so goddamn fat.  What's worse, is that while on the box, the pizza doesn't look appetizing at all, it looks even LESS appetizing when you actually make it.  It looks like the pizza took the place of a chick's face in a bukkake party.
 
2013-01-04 01:06:44 PM
Shame on Fieri for not disclosing the presence of peppers or whatnot, but more shame on anyone that would buy something like that.

Here you go, here's a cum sandwich with a side of taint hair.
 
2013-01-04 01:17:09 PM
In fairness, black pepper on sweets is a fairly old trick when done right. I use black pepper on melon--the pepper stimulates receptors in the tongue, but are overwhelmed by the sweetness of the melon, providing a bit of feedback, which increases the perception of sweetness overall.

It isn't a trick that you can just use willy-nilly though. It works best on firm fleshed fruit, and fruit that has a high fructose content to begin with, otherwise the receptors will differentiate the pepper flavor, and lo, you just get peppery fruit.

As for the S'mores pizza idea...it's not alone a bad concept. Anymore than rice crispy treats or ice your own strudel tarts. The question is execution, and it sounds like they just slapped a name on a product without doing a lot of testing, and considering how much you have to test mass marketed, mass produced pre-fab food products, that's the real sin. There's a reason that mass marketed foods have professional chefs, who have experience in very real food science on board. It's NOT like being in a kitchen, and there are a lot of steps that have to be taken in order to preserve and mass produce stuff like this. Or even Hydrox cookies for that matter.

One of my favorite goodies for a while were dessert nachos. We got in some gorgeous chocolate and vanilla tortillas. Very sweet, and heavily flavored tortillas. We made chips with them, then topped them with ice cream, whipped cream, and a variety of fruit and then chocolate and raspberry syrup. Great looking dessert, and fun as heck. Not easily mass marketed though, and that is sort of the point. While I don't mind seeing all sorts of odd goodies in the freezer aisle, there is a line to be drawn at times to what you can accomplish in prepackaged product.
 
2013-01-04 01:21:09 PM

hubiestubert: One of my favorite goodies for a while were dessert nachos. We got in some gorgeous chocolate and vanilla tortillas. Very sweet, and heavily flavored tortillas. We made chips with them, then topped them with ice cream, whipped cream, and a variety of fruit and then chocolate and raspberry syrup. Great looking dessert, and fun as heck. Not easily mass marketed though, and that is sort of the point. While I don't mind seeing all sorts of odd goodies in the freezer aisle, there is a line to be drawn at times to what you can accomplish in prepackaged product.


Mmmmmm.... dessert nachos....

You're absolutely correct, though, that they are not amenable to being mass marketed.

Damn, now I'm hungry for sweets.  Maybe I'll stop at Z-Burger for a shake on the way home.
 
2013-01-04 01:25:21 PM

Coco LaFemme: Holy fark.  No wonder Americans are so goddamn fat.  What's worse, is that while on the box, the pizza doesn't look appetizing at all, it looks even LESS appetizing when you actually make it.  It looks like the pizza took the place of a chick's Ke$ha's face in a bukkake party.



Specificity is key.

/No thanks needed.
 
2013-01-04 01:31:44 PM
Guy Fieri is the most horribly overrated celebrity "chef" ever
 
2013-01-04 01:38:51 PM
Apos:
Specificity is key.

/No thanks needed.


The letter 'K' is always helpful as well, so Ke$ha is a good selection comedically.
 
2013-01-04 01:39:18 PM

hubiestubert: In fairness, black pepper on sweets is a fairly old trick when done right. I use black pepper on melon--the pepper stimulates receptors in the tongue, but are overwhelmed by the sweetness of the melon, providing a bit of feedback, which increases the perception of sweetness overall.

It isn't a trick that you can just use willy-nilly though. It works best on firm fleshed fruit, and fruit that has a high fructose content to begin with, otherwise the receptors will differentiate the pepper flavor, and lo, you just get peppery fruit.

As for the S'mores pizza idea...it's not alone a bad concept. Anymore than rice crispy treats or ice your own strudel tarts. The question is execution, and it sounds like they just slapped a name on a product without doing a lot of testing, and considering how much you have to test mass marketed, mass produced pre-fab food products, that's the real sin. There's a reason that mass marketed foods have professional chefs, who have experience in very real food science on board. It's NOT like being in a kitchen, and there are a lot of steps that have to be taken in order to preserve and mass produce stuff like this. Or even Hydrox cookies for that matter.

One of my favorite goodies for a while were dessert nachos. We got in some gorgeous chocolate and vanilla tortillas. Very sweet, and heavily flavored tortillas. We made chips with them, then topped them with ice cream, whipped cream, and a variety of fruit and then chocolate and raspberry syrup. Great looking dessert, and fun as heck. Not easily mass marketed though, and that is sort of the point. While I don't mind seeing all sorts of odd goodies in the freezer aisle, there is a line to be drawn at times to what you can accomplish in prepackaged product.


You're too damn nice. I want to see Fieri's head on a pike! Yaaaaaaaaarrrrrr!
 
2013-01-04 01:41:24 PM
On a different note, Giada's spaghetti sauce from Target is pretty frickin amazing both for price and quality.
 
2013-01-04 01:45:47 PM
cdn.gunaxin.com

WELCOME TO FLAVORTOWN
 
2013-01-04 01:49:55 PM
Has anyone ever actually seen Guy Fieri cook?  The only shows I've ever seen of him are based on stuffing shiat in his face.
 
2013-01-04 01:50:08 PM
Is he actually a chef? I've only seen him on the show where he goes to places and eats other people's food.

Also, who in the world would buy a frozen pizza - a frozen SMORES pizza, and think that it would be good???
 
2013-01-04 01:55:11 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Guy Fieri is the most horribly overrated celebrity "chef" ever


images.teamsugar.com

Agrees.
 
2013-01-04 01:59:18 PM

vernonFL: Is he actually a chef? I've only seen him on the show where he goes to places and eats other people's food.

Also, who in the world would buy a frozen pizza - a frozen SMORES pizza, and think that it would be good???


47% of the country voted for Mitt Romney just a few months ago. Clearly good taste does not apply to everyone.
 
2013-01-04 02:00:01 PM
Because the recipe for making your own Smores is like the farking Manhattan Project, man!
 
2013-01-04 02:11:52 PM

vernonFL: Is he actually a chef? I've only seen him on the show where he goes to places and eats other people's food.

Also, who in the world would buy a frozen pizza - a frozen SMORES pizza, and think that it would be good???


Well he did win The Next Food Network Star (or whatever its called).  I didn't watch, but I believe it involves cooking, as well as presentation and personality.
 
2013-01-04 02:14:39 PM

downstairs: vernonFL: Is he actually a chef? I've only seen him on the show where he goes to places and eats other people's food.

Also, who in the world would buy a frozen pizza - a frozen SMORES pizza, and think that it would be good???

Well he did win The Next Food Network Star (or whatever its called).  I didn't watch, but I believe it involves cooking, as well as presentation and personality.


I watched that entire series that year

/he was far from the best IMHO
//it did involve cooking, but that wasn't his strong suit
///wanted him to lose
 
2013-01-04 02:19:05 PM

vernonFL: Is he actually a chef?


He's more than a chef. He's a...

www.epicportions.com

...Kulinary Gangsta
 
2013-01-04 02:26:24 PM

downstairs: vernonFL: Is he actually a chef? I've only seen him on the show where he goes to places and eats other people's food.

Also, who in the world would buy a frozen pizza - a frozen SMORES pizza, and think that it would be good???

Well he did win The Next Food Network Star (or whatever its called).  I didn't watch, but I believe it involves cooking, as well as presentation and personality.


Sadly, being a chef requires something that they don't ever seem to emphasize on these shows: management skills.

A kitchen is a collection of folks. A chef not only has to be able to cook, but manage folks, as well as be able to juggle ordering, customers, waitstaff, as well as look ahead in food trends, and anticipate the customer base's needs and desires. It's much more than just being able to cook well. Chef is a title that others give you, it's not one that you can just assume. Well, you can, but it's meaningless.

As a professional, I have a love/hate relationship with the Food Network. Because it tends to celebrate chefs without much regard for the real profession. It is very much style over substance, and it often promotes myth over the realities of the industry.

I've been in kitchens since I was 15. That's over 25 years now, and I love the profession. I love the people. We are a collection of reprobates, freaks, and oddballs, and I would choose a good many of them over just about anyone to watch my back, and that includes a few of the chemically addicted and generally loose moraled folks that populate the back line. Celebrity chefs are a caricature of the business, unfortunately, and they give an unreal representation of the profession, which is sad, because it's a hard job that a lot of folks simply can't hack, and the portrayal on TV is so skewed that it draws folks who are uniquely unsuited to the life into kitchens, and burns them out and wastes their time and money. Being a chef isn't about schmoozing tables and wine tastings, it is hard work, it is about managing people, prices, juggling suppliers and customers, and in the middle of all that, cooking your ass off, with a fair amount of pressure, and doing so with the clock ticking, and a bank and creditors tapping their toes. It's not exactly a romantic life, considering that you come home smelling like hot oil and sweat most days, with maybe some meat and woodsmoke if you're lucky. It's not for everyone, and I wish that TV would try to capture a bit of the reality that are in kitchens, because it would mean less starry eyed idiots with applications whose dreams I have to stomp, and it would likewise celebrate folks who I dearly love, who work their asses off, for very little recognition, and do so with a smile on their faces, and songs in their hearts because they love what they do.
 
2013-01-04 02:27:16 PM

vernonFL: Is he actually a chef? I've only seen him on the show where he goes to places and eats other people's food.


According to Wikipedia, he's a "restauranteur" and he "has no training as a chef", although he did work at restaurants in high school. Also, his birth name is Guy Ferry.
 
2013-01-04 02:29:34 PM
He does have another show he cooks meals on.  "Guy's Big Bite," if memory serves
 
2013-01-04 02:34:32 PM

hubiestubert: Sadly, being a chef requires something that they don't ever seem to emphasize on these shows: management skills

...

That was well put.
 
2013-01-04 02:35:03 PM

hubiestubert: I wish that TV would try to capture a bit of the reality that are in kitchens


I've never worked in a restaurant, but pretty much all of my friends do.  The reality of it facinates me.  I really do wish there was a show that captured that.
 
2013-01-04 02:35:15 PM

Coco LaFemme: What's worse, is that while on the box, the pizza doesn't look appetizing at all


Which was elaborated well by this comment after the article:

"The photo on the box looks like something that a dog vomited onto a piece of fried cornbread, why would anyone expect it to taste good? "
 
2013-01-04 02:37:20 PM

Paris1127: vernonFL: Is he actually a chef? I've only seen him on the show where he goes to places and eats other people's food.

According to Wikipedia, he's a "restauranteur" and he "has no training as a chef", although he did work at restaurants in high school. Also, his birth name is Guy Ferry.


This is part of the problem with the Food Network and their "reality" shows. They promote folks without training, or often even rudimentary skills. Watching their reality competition shows makes me cringe, because I have guys under me who can cook circles around most of the folks that they bring on. And that includes the folks who haven't had culinary school training, but have simply worked in restaurants for years. It is something that annoys the professional in me. It's sort of like watching a show about bike mechanics where the "stars" have a toolbox and a manual, but no practical experience, but some great "ideas." The Food Network rewards the unskilled and the tragically unprofessional, and the whole industry suffers with the influx of folks who have no business in kitchens at all rolling in, and then who get a dose of reality and run, leaving holes in your line if you're foolish enough to hire them to get them the experience that they'll need.
 
2013-01-04 02:46:23 PM

hubiestubert: A chef not only has to be able to cook, but manage folks, as well as be able to juggle ordering, customers, waitstaff, as well as look ahead in food trends, and anticipate the customer base's needs and desires.


Yup, in French the word "chef" actually means boss or chief.
 
2013-01-04 02:49:36 PM
i love that one of the reviewers bought the product on the strength of guy fieri's endorsement and was then surprised that it wasn't any good.
 
2013-01-04 02:53:02 PM

thomps: i love that one of the reviewers bought the product on the strength of guy fieri's endorsement and was then surprised that it wasn't any good.


I mean it had his name RIGHT ON THE BOX. How could it POSSIBLY be bad?!?

My goodness... *swoons*...  I just feel so bewildered and betrayed!
 
2013-01-04 02:55:44 PM

thomps: i love that one of the reviewers bought the product on the strength of guy fieri's endorsement and was then surprised that it wasn't any good.


Seriously. It's akin to purchasing a "How To Tell Great Jokes" book written by Dane Cook.
 
2013-01-04 02:57:11 PM
His restaraunt is really close to my workplace.  I was trying to drum up interest in the World's First Annual/Worst Annual Fark Party at the bar there but apparently people weren't interested in dropping 100s of dollars on sugary signature drinks and deep fried desperation.
 
2013-01-04 03:03:41 PM

hubiestubert: Paris1127: vernonFL: Is he actually a chef? I've only seen him on the show where he goes to places and eats other people's food.

According to Wikipedia, he's a "restauranteur" and he "has no training as a chef", although he did work at restaurants in high school. Also, his birth name is Guy Ferry.

This is part of the problem with the Food Network and their "reality" shows. They promote folks without training, or often even rudimentary skills. Watching their reality competition shows makes me cringe, because I have guys under me who can cook circles around most of the folks that they bring on. And that includes the folks who haven't had culinary school training, but have simply worked in restaurants for years. It is something that annoys the professional in me. It's sort of like watching a show about bike mechanics where the "stars" have a toolbox and a manual, but no practical experience, but some great "ideas." The Food Network rewards the unskilled and the tragically unprofessional, and the whole industry suffers with the influx of folks who have no business in kitchens at all rolling in, and then who get a dose of reality and run, leaving holes in your line if you're foolish enough to hire them to get them the experience that they'll need.


I'm curious of what you think of Alton Brown. I'm your average amatuer that likes to try new things in the kitchen and he has helped me a lot. Mostly because once I understand the science behind it I am more willing to step out of my comfort zone. Just following a recipes works ok but I can never really nail it out of the park with that method.

I agre on the reality crap. What chef in his right mind would wing it with a mystery ingredient? Farkin retarded
 
2013-01-04 03:13:24 PM

sammyk: hubiestubert: Paris1127: vernonFL: Is he actually a chef? I've only seen him on the show where he goes to places and eats other people's food.

According to Wikipedia, he's a "restauranteur" and he "has no training as a chef", although he did work at restaurants in high school. Also, his birth name is Guy Ferry.

This is part of the problem with the Food Network and their "reality" shows. They promote folks without training, or often even rudimentary skills. Watching their reality competition shows makes me cringe, because I have guys under me who can cook circles around most of the folks that they bring on. And that includes the folks who haven't had culinary school training, but have simply worked in restaurants for years. It is something that annoys the professional in me. It's sort of like watching a show about bike mechanics where the "stars" have a toolbox and a manual, but no practical experience, but some great "ideas." The Food Network rewards the unskilled and the tragically unprofessional, and the whole industry suffers with the influx of folks who have no business in kitchens at all rolling in, and then who get a dose of reality and run, leaving holes in your line if you're foolish enough to hire them to get them the experience that they'll need.

I'm curious of what you think of Alton Brown. I'm your average amatuer that likes to try new things in the kitchen and he has helped me a lot. Mostly because once I understand the science behind it I am more willing to step out of my comfort zone. Just following a recipes works ok but I can never really nail it out of the park with that method.

I agre on the reality crap. What chef in his right mind would wing it with a mystery ingredient? Farkin retarded


Alton is a pro. And that is nice to see. I don't agree with some of the recipes he features on artistic grounds, but he is like one of my culinary heroes, Jaques Pepin, in wanting to use concrete recipes for examples. One of the things I like is that he wants to show WHY things are done the way they are.

There some big names on the Food Network I respect--Ming Tsai in particular--who have real chops. Unfortunately the execs seem fascinated with the celebrity over skill.
 
2013-01-04 04:23:57 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Guy Fieri is the most horribly overrated celebrity "chef" ever


Overrated?  Does anybody actually like him?
 
2013-01-04 04:42:27 PM

hubiestubert: We made chips with them


Did you deep fry them?  Bake them?  Awesome idea.  Seems like frying the tortillas into chips might alter the flavor too much so I'd love to know how you did it.
 
2013-01-04 04:48:27 PM
When are they going to do Chopped: Amateurs? I know actual chefs can cook. I want to see what regular people come up with. Like Moon Waffles
 
2013-01-04 04:49:52 PM
How can you fark up a S'more?!?!? It's natures perfect food!
 
2013-01-04 04:52:13 PM

hubiestubert: sammyk: hubiestubert: Paris1127: vernonFL: Is he actually a chef? I've only seen him on the show where he goes to places and eats other people's food.

According to Wikipedia, he's a "restauranteur" and he "has no training as a chef", although he did work at restaurants in high school. Also, his birth name is Guy Ferry.

This is part of the problem with the Food Network and their "reality" shows. They promote folks without training, or often even rudimentary skills. Watching their reality competition shows makes me cringe, because I have guys under me who can cook circles around most of the folks that they bring on. And that includes the folks who haven't had culinary school training, but have simply worked in restaurants for years. It is something that annoys the professional in me. It's sort of like watching a show about bike mechanics where the "stars" have a toolbox and a manual, but no practical experience, but some great "ideas." The Food Network rewards the unskilled and the tragically unprofessional, and the whole industry suffers with the influx of folks who have no business in kitchens at all rolling in, and then who get a dose of reality and run, leaving holes in your line if you're foolish enough to hire them to get them the experience that they'll need.

I'm curious of what you think of Alton Brown. I'm your average amatuer that likes to try new things in the kitchen and he has helped me a lot. Mostly because once I understand the science behind it I am more willing to step out of my comfort zone. Just following a recipes works ok but I can never really nail it out of the park with that method.

I agre on the reality crap. What chef in his right mind would wing it with a mystery ingredient? Farkin retarded

Alton is a pro. And that is nice to see. I don't agree with some of the recipes he features on artistic grounds, but he is like one of my culinary heroes, Jaques Pepin, in wanting to use concrete recipes for examples. One of the things I like is that ...


It's all theatre, an illusion of some 'perfect' lifestyle...  It's not even really about the food any more.
Being telegenic is even more important than actual ability or knowledge.  And most people just want the food porn without actually learning anything.
I'm a pretty good home cook, and I'd be watching to learn something.   I haven't had the Food Network on much since the last Good Eats.
 
2013-01-04 04:54:33 PM
I've seen that thing in the store for a while now.

The stench of fail forces me to avoid that aisle.
 
2013-01-04 04:55:30 PM

groppet: How can you fark up a S'more?!?!? It's natures perfect food!


Bacon would like to have a word with you.
 
2013-01-04 04:57:11 PM
Eight out of eight Sam's Clubs members agree...


Well, if 8 Sam's Club members say it, it must be so...

This sounds like the most horrific shiat to ever be mass marketed as "food", but seriously, you're basing an entire article on 8 Sam's Club members?
 
2013-01-04 05:02:43 PM

Pelvic Splanchnic Ganglion: groppet: How can you fark up a S'more?!?!? It's natures perfect food!

Bacon would like to have a word with you.


Deep fried!

Garlic butter!

Sodium Chloride!
 
2013-01-04 05:03:01 PM
Sounds like something straight from the Guy Fieri food generator.

Oven roasted catfish quesadilla with Hawaiian-style tater tots!

Philly-style applewood bacon chow fun with smoky barbecue onion strip!

Hong Kong chicken lasagna with chimichurri potato skins!
 
2013-01-04 05:05:39 PM
I agree entirely with hubiestubert.Guy Fieri's a joke. Always has been. But, of course, when you're shopping for 'celebrity' rather than skill set, experience, or intelligence, hey, he's right up there with Rachael Ray or that "Man vs. Food" moron.

Even that asshole, Bobby Flay, is worth more than Guy Fieri - and I intensely dislike Bobby Flay. Even Duff is worth more than Guy Fieri.
 
2013-01-04 05:09:14 PM

hubiestubert: Paris1127: vernonFL: Is he actually a chef? I've only seen him on the show where he goes to places and eats other people's food.

According to Wikipedia, he's a "restauranteur" and he "has no training as a chef", although he did work at restaurants in high school. Also, his birth name is Guy Ferry.

This is part of the problem with the Food Network and their "reality" shows. They promote folks without training, or often even rudimentary skills. Watching their reality competition shows makes me cringe, because I have guys under me who can cook circles around most of the folks that they bring on. And that includes the folks who haven't had culinary school training, but have simply worked in restaurants for years. It is something that annoys the professional in me. It's sort of like watching a show about bike mechanics where the "stars" have a toolbox and a manual, but no practical experience, but some great "ideas." The Food Network rewards the unskilled and the tragically unprofessional, and the whole industry suffers with the influx of folks who have no business in kitchens at all rolling in, and then who get a dose of reality and run, leaving holes in your line if you're foolish enough to hire them to get them the experience that they'll need.


It's not just the Food Network, either. The "Bravo effect" has spilled over into so many other channels, in which shows that used to showcase skills, experience, or talent, now just showcase conflict, personalities, and "celebrity" in the abstract.

Combine the fake people with the new trend, fake situations, and you get a recipe for disaster. The rash of reality shows that either pretend to show a business in day-to-day operation or claim to reenact real life situations, combined with idiots that have no real idea what they're doing, is nauseating.
 
2013-01-04 05:12:32 PM

hubiestubert: Jaques Pepin


cool, i agree, used to love watching his stuff on pbs

ming tsai

omg, wtf! why?!?! what do you see in him? i used to watch his show 'simply ming' on pbs (amongst all the other cooking fare. shouts out to america's test kitchen, booya!) and the only thing i could ever gather from that piece of ish is how much of an epic douchebag he seems intent on being AT ALL TIMES. i am not fooled one bit by those ceramic knives... when he has a guest on he does practically nothing but compliment them, but i cringe the whole time because he seems so insincere.
 
2013-01-04 05:16:17 PM

hubiestubert: In fairness, black pepper on sweets is a fairly old trick when done right. I use black pepper on melon--the pepper stimulates receptors in the tongue, but are overwhelmed by the sweetness of the melon, providing a bit of feedback, which increases the perception of sweetness overall.

It isn't a trick that you can just use willy-nilly though. It works best on firm fleshed fruit, and fruit that has a high fructose content to begin with, otherwise the receptors will differentiate the pepper flavor, and lo, you just get peppery fruit.


And hot peppers are a known trick with chocolate, but you can't just sneak that one in on people, especially people with palettes so refined that a celebrity-endorsed frozen s'mores pizza 2 pack sounds like a good idea.
 
2013-01-04 05:20:11 PM
also, while you already mentioned the black pepper with sweet desserts angle. there is also the pepper (heat) to accompany chocolate idea. like in moles or just seasoned chocolate. also the reverse is true for people that like adding coffee or chocolate to chili and the like. he may have been going for this sort of thing but the manufacturer way overdid it on the spice level.
 
2013-01-04 05:23:44 PM

hubiestubert: includes a few of the chemically addicted and generally loose moraled folks that populate the back line


Wait, that denotes that there are people in the back house that are not chemically addicted and/or loose moraled?
 
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