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(ACLU)   Updated NDAA: 166 prisoners will remain at Guantanamo Bay pretty much forever   (aclu.org) divider line 27
    More: Fail, Guantanamo Bay, Guantanamo, ndaa, freedom of conscience, inauguration day, indefinite detention, signing statements, Anthony Romero  
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7850 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jan 2013 at 3:14 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-01-04 03:36:38 PM
6 votes:
I gotta do everything around this country.

Near Future Headline

Cargo plane from Gitmo crashes in Atlantic Ocean.

What was supposed to be a joyous occasion for the families of over 100 Gitmo detainees turned sour when they learned that the plane carrying the former prisoners of war crashed in the Atlantic Ocean. Only the crew survived.

"We are sadden by this event" said the President smiling because he was thinking about a recent Simpson episode where Bart and Homer accidentally exchanged bodies and no one noticed. "It is doubley sad because they didn't purchase flight insurance. Now, no one gets nuttin."

The DC-3 was considered dangerously overloaded with it's load of passengers, extra fuel and unloved Pet Rocks that had also been sent to Gitmo back in the 70's. Witnesses say the plane broke up right after the crew bailed. "Witnesses say the valiant crew jumped at the first sign of trouble" says Obama. "But witnesses can be wrong. They can also be audited by the IRS."

The President has requested a moment of silence for the victims. It will happen around 2 in the AM when everyone is pretty much asleep anyhow.

(Updated)
Witnesses claim the crew did everything they could including re-enacting the scene from Hot Shots where Charlie Sheen tries to hold the plane together with his bare hands. "They were heroes. Heroes!" claims John "Please Don't Review My Schedule CR-13" Johnson.
2013-01-04 03:35:40 PM
4 votes:

duffblue: Same shiat different asshole. I guess Obama wasn't the greatest thing since sliced bread.


This, Bart, is a crazy person
2013-01-04 03:46:47 PM
3 votes:

Holocaust Agnostic: Saborlas: Because the reason Obama hasn't closed Gitmo is entirely because he doesn't want to. There's no party of sickos who jerk off at the idea of indefinite detention refusing to pass defense bills unless they're allowed to keep their Persian prisoner porn. Nope, no obstructionists here.

Obama never intended to end indefinite detention. Clodding titmouse was always a literal promise. That is, he would imprison people without tial forever but do it stateside.


How did closing gitmo become clodding titmouse? Fark you android!
2013-01-04 03:42:47 PM
2 votes:

Saborlas: Because the reason Obama hasn't closed Gitmo is entirely because he doesn't want to. There's no party of sickos who jerk off at the idea of indefinite detention refusing to pass defense bills unless they're allowed to keep their Persian prisoner porn. Nope, no obstructionists here.


Obama never intended to end indefinite detention. Clodding titmouse was always a literal promise. That is, he would imprison people without tial forever but do it stateside.
2013-01-04 03:34:54 PM
2 votes:
Funny seeing die hard conservative tea-partiers agreeing with Obama. Yeah, he's a real liberal president.
2013-01-04 03:29:49 PM
2 votes:

Fuggin Bizzy: russsssman: It's almost like Bush wasn't so bad after all.

Let's not get carried away. Bush 43 was the worst president in my lifetime.


Happy 12th birthday!
2013-01-04 03:24:09 PM
2 votes:
So when you become president and have access to ALL the information, it's actually the best option... It's almost like Bush wasn't so bad after all.
2013-01-04 03:21:18 PM
2 votes:
Lemme guess, Fark:

Bush kept Gitmo open because he's an EVIL REPUBLICAN
Obama keeps Gitmo open because those EVIL REPUBLICANS give him no choice.

Right? Right...
2013-01-04 10:21:01 PM
1 votes:

gobstopping: Hitler gassed 6 million Jews. Are you saying America should have done the same thing?


we didn't have six million jews at the time. but now we do. but the stature of limitations on jew gassing is seven times seven years, as it is written by g-d in the torah. therefore obama is impotent to respond.
2013-01-04 07:21:29 PM
1 votes:
Since Bush being president was a big mistake, what Obama should have done on day one was make everything be the way it would have been if Al Gore had been president for 8 years, and then proceed with making changes he wanted to make from that point. My vote for Obama was intended to retroactively delete every effect George W. Bush had on the present.
2013-01-04 05:57:18 PM
1 votes:

ChipNASA: gobstopping: ManRay: Republicans are not going to do it.
Democrats are not going to do it.

Who is left?

WHOM


weren"t mE

- - - -

This is what I meant to post. Better late than never.

Setup:
ManRay: Republicans are not going to do it.
Democrats are not going to do it.

Who is left?


Punchline:

pit.dirty.ru
2013-01-04 05:17:16 PM
1 votes:

Harry Freakstorm



I gotta do everything around this country.

Near Future Headline

Cargo plane from Gitmo crashes in Atlantic Ocean.

What was supposed to be a joyous occasion for the families of over 100 Gitmo detainees turned sour when they learned that the plane carrying the former prisoners of war crashed in the Atlantic Ocean. Only the crew survived.

"We are sadden by this event" said the President smiling because he was thinking about a recent Simpson episode where Bart and Homer accidentally exchanged bodies and no one noticed. "It is doubley sad because they didn't purchase flight insurance. Now, no one gets nuttin."

The DC-3 was considered dangerously overloaded with it's load of passengers, extra fuel and unloved Pet Rocks that had also been sent to Gitmo back in the 70's. Witnesses say the plane broke up right after the crew bailed. "Witnesses say the valiant crew jumped at the first sign of trouble" says Obama. "But witnesses can be wrong. They can also be audited by the IRS."

The President has requested a moment of silence for the victims. It will happen around 2 in the AM when everyone is pretty much asleep anyhow.

(Updated)
Witnesses claim the crew did everything they could including re-enacting the scene from Hot Shots where Charlie Sheen tries to hold the plane together with his bare hands. "They were heroes. Heroes!" claims John "Please Don't Review My Schedule CR-13" Johnson.



Just like that story that they buried Bin Laden at sea. You just know they got that MFer up on a dart board in the basement of the WH every Saturday night
2013-01-04 04:22:26 PM
1 votes:

gobstopping: ManRay: Republicans are not going to do it.
Democrats are not going to do it.

Who is left?


WHOM
2013-01-04 04:02:39 PM
1 votes:

Saborlas: Because the reason Obama hasn't closed Gitmo is entirely because he doesn't want to. There's no party of sickos who jerk off at the idea of indefinite detention refusing to pass defense bills unless they're allowed to keep their Persian prisoner porn. Nope, no obstructionists here.


This is the dumbest argument. Obama only wanted to close GITMO (he was just going to move it). He was NEVER and has NEVER been opposed to indefinite detention. He has had his DOJ back and argue for every power Bush granted himself and the same arguments that the Bush admin have used to block court challenges are being used and pushed forward by the Obama DOJ

Obama's record on transparency. civil liberties, etc is atrocious. the only difference is the SILENCE in the democratic party. all the tribalists bury their head in the sand when Obama does this because it doesn't jive with the concocted idea of " AWESOMEST PRESIDENT EVA"
2013-01-04 03:57:56 PM
1 votes:
"Don't start nothin'... won't *BE* nothin' ! "

www.blogcdn.com
2013-01-04 03:48:21 PM
1 votes:
CLODDING TITMOUSE!!!
2013-01-04 03:47:53 PM
1 votes:

Hydra: 19th century-style warfare between nation-states with uniformed armies marching in straight lines meeting in meadows 30 yards apart then kneeling and shooting each other


Considering the Geneva Convention was updated to offer some protection to ununiformed combatants in 1949 due to their treatment in WWII, I'd say it's a little more modern than that.
2013-01-04 03:40:38 PM
1 votes:

The Jami Turman Fan Club: They're P.O.W.s either way.


Nope. They're abductees. They could be a bunch of goat-herders for all we know.
2013-01-04 03:38:46 PM
1 votes:

Harry Freakstorm: I gotta do everything around this country.

Near Future Headline

Cargo plane from Gitmo crashes in Atlantic Ocean.

What was supposed to be a joyous occasion for the families of over 100 Gitmo detainees turned sour when they learned that the plane carrying the former prisoners of war crashed in the Atlantic Ocean. Only the crew survived.

"We are sadden by this event" said the President smiling because he was thinking about a recent Simpson episode where Bart and Homer accidentally exchanged bodies and no one noticed. "It is doubley sad because they didn't purchase flight insurance. Now, no one gets nuttin."

The DC-3 was considered dangerously overloaded with it's load of passengers, extra fuel and unloved Pet Rocks that had also been sent to Gitmo back in the 70's. Witnesses say the plane broke up right after the crew bailed. "Witnesses say the valiant crew jumped at the first sign of trouble" says Obama. "But witnesses can be wrong. They can also be audited by the IRS."

The President has requested a moment of silence for the victims. It will happen around 2 in the AM when everyone is pretty much asleep anyhow.

(Updated)
Witnesses claim the crew did everything they could including re-enacting the scene from Hot Shots where Charlie Sheen tries to hold the plane together with his bare hands. "They were heroes. Heroes!" claims John "Please Don't Review My Schedule CR-13" Johnson.


WOW you're like a regular Miss Farking CLEO or sumpin.
2013-01-04 03:37:00 PM
1 votes:
The US government didn't bring Jefferson Davis to trial because he might have won. He, though, still had some influential friends who got him released. These folks? Not so much.
2013-01-04 03:33:48 PM
1 votes:

Thunderpipes: Obama will be remembered as the President who destroyed the country.


Nah, sorry. Reality has a liberal bias.

/"Romney's gonna win with, like, 340 EV. I can just feel it."
2013-01-04 03:31:32 PM
1 votes:

Fuggin Bizzy: russsssman: It's almost like Bush wasn't so bad after all.

Let's not get carried away. Bush 43 was the worst president in my lifetime.


History will say differently. The new Normal after Obama is done is going to be a complete disaster. We can never recover fiscally either, we are to far gone. Democrats breed like rabbits, so it will never get better. Obama will be remembered as the President who destroyed the country.
2013-01-04 03:31:23 PM
1 votes:
You could use the Chinese solution and buy a case of 9mm. Each prisoner gets one in the head and you'll even have 334 rounds left over.

/what to do with dangerous terrorists becomes easy if you don't worry about their human rights.
2013-01-04 03:26:13 PM
1 votes:
I am worried about the religious prevision in this new bill. Some general forces his subordinates to take Christian Bible classes and the subordinates would comply because of the chain of command that they're under.
2013-01-04 03:22:35 PM
1 votes:
i.imgur.com

U.S.A!!!! U.S.A!!!!
 U.S.A!!!!  U.S.A!!!!  U.S.A!!!!

/someone had to do it.
2013-01-04 03:20:58 PM
1 votes:
Same shiat different asshole. I guess Obama wasn't the greatest thing since sliced bread.
2013-01-04 02:17:43 PM
1 votes:

Saborlas: Because the reason Obama hasn't closed Gitmo is entirely because he doesn't want to. There's no party of sickos who jerk off at the idea of indefinite detention refusing to pass defense bills unless they're allowed to keep their Persian prisoner porn. Nope, no obstructionists here.


This is actually a case where most everyone comes off badly.  The GOP thinks that a key component to winning the war on terror is to lock every suspect up and then compete to see who can come up with the toughest sounding way to make them confess.  Democratic politicians are scared of being labeled appeasers or soft on terror, and the only critic of this  with any sort of a megaphone is Glenn Greenwald, who comes with his own (mostly self-induced) set of flaws that cost him credibility.
 
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