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(Oregon Public Broadcasting)   18-year-old posts to Facebook "Drivin drunk ... classsic ;) but to whoever's vehicle i hit i am sorry. :P" What could possibly go wrong?   (opb.org ) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Facebook, drunk drivers, Astoria  
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18247 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jan 2013 at 4:34 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



115 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-01-04 01:07:51 PM  
meh, he'll get a lawyer and that charge will be dropped.  sure, the kid was a dumbass but...facebook posts alone don't prove criminal conduct.  now, if this idiot had posted a video of himself driving drunk and sideswiping a car...then his ass would be in serious trouble.
 
2013-01-04 01:25:02 PM  

Weaver95: meh, he'll get a lawyer and that charge will be dropped.  sure, the kid was a dumbass but...facebook posts alone don't prove criminal conduct.  now, if this idiot had posted a video of himself driving drunk and sideswiping a car...then his ass would be in serious trouble.


Well, from TFA:  Deputy Chief Brad Johnston says Cox-Brown was charged with failure to perform the duties of a driver. He was not charged with drunken driving because the Facebook post is not sufficient evidence that he was intoxicated.

Seems like a rather vague charge, but I suspect it's akin to leaving the scene of an accident.  How in the world does a FB post professing to have hit a car prove that he in fact hit THAT car?  Seems like a good lawyer ought to be able to make this go away.
 
2013-01-04 01:29:25 PM  
Cox-Brown has more than 650 Facebook friends.

Finally, news I can use.
 
2013-01-04 01:30:51 PM  
nekom:

Seems like a rather vague charge, but I suspect it's akin to leaving the scene of an accident.  How in the world does a FB post professing to have hit a car prove that he in fact hit THAT car?  Seems like a good lawyer ought to be able to make this go away.

that's what I suspect will happen.  unless the cops have some sort of physical evidence to back up more serious charges...it'll end up being a paperwork drill and likely be dismissed.  there's no 'drunk driving' exception to the first amendment. if you want to go on FB and be a dumbass and say stupid things then well...go right ahead.  absent evidence of criminal activity, it's just facebook ranting and not criminal.
 
2013-01-04 01:38:38 PM  
Facebook, like Florida, is now the domain of the demented and stupid.


Well done, Zuckerberg!
 
2013-01-04 01:43:42 PM  
Jacob Cox-Brown

Poor kid...at least it's not "Brown-Cox"
 
Pud
2013-01-04 01:46:47 PM  

Weaver95: nekom:

Seems like a rather vague charge, but I suspect it's akin to leaving the scene of an accident.  How in the world does a FB post professing to have hit a car prove that he in fact hit THAT car?  Seems like a good lawyer ought to be able to make this go away.

that's what I suspect will happen.  unless the cops have some sort of physical evidence to back up more serious charges...it'll end up being a paperwork drill and likely be dismissed.  there's no 'drunk driving' exception to the first amendment. if you want to go on FB and be a dumbass and say stupid things then well...go right ahead.  absent evidence of criminal activity, it's just facebook ranting and not criminal.


I read in a different article that there was damage to his car with paint marks matching the 2 other cars he hit. So that'll probably be enough.
 
2013-01-04 01:51:45 PM  

nekom: How in the world does a FB post professing to have hit a car prove that he in fact hit THAT car?


It doesn't, but it could put him near the scene at the right time, and then they could compare paint colors exchanged in the collision or match pieces of headlight glass from the ground to his car.

C'mon, man, don't you ever watch Forensic Files?
 
2013-01-04 01:54:50 PM  

Lionel Mandrake: It doesn't, but it could put him near the scene at the right time, and then they could compare paint colors exchanged in the collision or match pieces of headlight glass from the ground to his car.

C'mon, man, don't you ever watch Forensic Files?


Actually, if the post is somehow geo-tagged, I suppose it could place him at the scene, if he posted it just after he had hit a car and the post recorded his location.  Even that's a fairly lame case for the prosecution.  And I suppose they COULD actually compare damage between the two vehicles and run some serious forensics on that, but that's the kind of stuff they save for murder cases, not so much pissant hit and run cases.
 
2013-01-04 01:55:46 PM  
We really, really need the public stocks brought back. A weekend getting pelted with rotten cabbages would do a lot more to prevent future asspipery.
 
2013-01-04 02:11:00 PM  
Kids! I don't know what's wrong with these kids today!
Kids! Why do they post everything they say?
Kids! They are disobedient, status oafs
Tweeting, bumping, insta-graming, loafers!
While we're on the subject:

Kids! You can text and poke till your thumb is blue!
Kids! But they still just post what they should not do!
Why can't they be like we were,
Perfect in every way?
What's the matter with kids today?

Kids! iPhone tried to raise him the best iPhone could
Kids! Kids!
Chatting, texting, liking, apping, morons!
And while we're on the subject!

Kids! They are just impossible to control!
Kids! With their F-M-L  and their L-O-L!

Why can't they dance like we did?
What's wrong with Michael Caine?

What's the matter with kids today!
 
2013-01-04 02:56:04 PM  
As I was told in numerous "innocence of muslims" threads,  this is an impossibility.
 
2013-01-04 03:13:18 PM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: We really, really need the public stocks brought back. A weekend getting pelted with rotten cabbages would do a lot more to prevent future asspipery.


We do that digitally now and then said asspipe gets a book deal and a recording contract and a season on dancing with the stars.
 
2013-01-04 03:42:59 PM  
I'm at least going to give the kid points for not including YOLO anywhere in his post.
 
2013-01-04 03:43:27 PM  
Deputy Chief Brad Johnston says Cox-Brown was charged with failure to perform the duties of a driver. He was not charged with drunken driving because the Facebook post is not sufficient evidence that he was intoxicated.

so a facebook post is sufficient evidence that he sideswiped someone, but not sufficient evidence he was drunk?

Cox-Brown has more than 650 Facebook friends.

News sites are now reporting how many friends we have?  So in addition to charging me with a DUI, they get to embarrass me by divulging how much of a loser I am?
 
2013-01-04 03:45:22 PM  
SlothB77:

News sites are now reporting how many friends we have?  So in addition to charging me with a DUI, they get to embarrass me by divulging how much of a loser I am?

I actively discourage people from friending me on facebook.  or following me on twitter.  hell, even from paying attention to me on fark.  even I don't think i've got anything important to say.
 
2013-01-04 04:00:06 PM  
Astoria police say officers were investigating a hit and run involving a sideswiped car when two Facebook friends of Jacob Cox-Brown contacted authorities

Cox-Brown has more than 650 Facebook friends.


2 less now.
 
2013-01-04 04:06:19 PM  

SlothB77: Deputy Chief Brad Johnston says Cox-Brown was charged with failure to perform the duties of a driver. He was not charged with drunken driving because the Facebook post is not sufficient evidence that he was intoxicated.

so a facebook post is sufficient evidence that he sideswiped someone, but not sufficient evidence he was drunk?

Cox-Brown has more than 650 Facebook friends.

News sites are now reporting how many friends we have?  So in addition to charging me with a DUI, they get to embarrass me by divulging how much of a loser I am?


Wait until your search history is part of every arrest record:
"Given that Mr. Nerves' most recent Google searches included 'Cloris Leachman upskirt,' 'Care Bear Fan Fiction,' 'loneliest man ever' and 'How long do you microwave a pumpkin before you fark it' his DUI arrest is understandable."
 
2013-01-04 04:29:56 PM  
Astoria police say officers were investigating a hit and run involving a sideswiped car when two Facebook friends of Jacob Cox-Brown contacted authorities

Some friends you've got there, Brown Cock.
 
2013-01-04 04:33:58 PM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: SlothB77: Deputy Chief Brad Johnston says Cox-Brown was charged with failure to perform the duties of a driver. He was not charged with drunken driving because the Facebook post is not sufficient evidence that he was intoxicated.

so a facebook post is sufficient evidence that he sideswiped someone, but not sufficient evidence he was drunk?

Cox-Brown has more than 650 Facebook friends.

News sites are now reporting how many friends we have?  So in addition to charging me with a DUI, they get to embarrass me by divulging how much of a loser I am?

Wait until your search history is part of every arrest record:
"Given that Mr. Nerves' most recent Google searches included 'Cloris Leachman upskirt,' 'Care Bear Fan Fiction,' 'loneliest man ever' and 'How long do you microwave a pumpkin before you fark it' his DUI arrest is understandable."


In the future, anyone who buys something online between midnight and 4am has their license temporarily suspended for 8 hours.
 
2013-01-04 04:36:51 PM  

SlothB77: Deputy Chief Brad Johnston says Cox-Brown was charged with failure to perform the duties of a driver. He was not charged with drunken driving because the Facebook post is not sufficient evidence that he was intoxicated.

so a facebook post is sufficient evidence that he sideswiped someone, but not sufficient evidence he was drunk?

Cox-Brown has more than 650 Facebook friends.

News sites are now reporting how many friends we have?  So in addition to charging me with a DUI, they get to embarrass me by divulging how much of a loser I am?


Just wait until the non-Facebook based news stories start saying "Mr. X had no Facebook account that we could find for more information."
 
2013-01-04 04:39:48 PM  

tricycleracer: Astoria police say officers were investigating a hit and run involving a sideswiped car when two Facebook friends of Jacob Cox-Brown contacted authorities

Some friends you've got there, Brown Cock.


So you're saying that reporting someone for driving drunk is the wrong thing to do? I'd rather be friends with people that think drunk driving is wrong and needs to be stopped.
 
2013-01-04 04:40:53 PM  
though not enough for a criminal conviction, this information can certainly be forwarded to his insurance and get his ass dropped.
 
2013-01-04 04:43:28 PM  

nekom: Weaver95: meh, he'll get a lawyer and that charge will be dropped.  sure, the kid was a dumbass but...facebook posts alone don't prove criminal conduct.  now, if this idiot had posted a video of himself driving drunk and sideswiping a car...then his ass would be in serious trouble.

Well, from TFA:  Deputy Chief Brad Johnston says Cox-Brown was charged with failure to perform the duties of a driver. He was not charged with drunken driving because the Facebook post is not sufficient evidence that he was intoxicated.

Seems like a rather vague charge, but I suspect it's akin to leaving the scene of an accident.  How in the world does a FB post professing to have hit a car prove that he in fact hit THAT car?  Seems like a good lawyer ought to be able to make this go away.


They immediately show up at his house, take pictures, and paint samples of the damaged car, and compare them to the car that was hit and run.

That, indeed, would hold up in court, if need be.

As it stands, as long as his insurance company ponies up, that will likely be the end of it.
 
2013-01-04 04:43:41 PM  

nekom: Weaver95: meh, he'll get a lawyer and that charge will be dropped.  sure, the kid was a dumbass but...facebook posts alone don't prove criminal conduct.  now, if this idiot had posted a video of himself driving drunk and sideswiping a car...then his ass would be in serious trouble.

Well, from TFA:  Deputy Chief Brad Johnston says Cox-Brown was charged with failure to perform the duties of a driver. He was not charged with drunken driving because the Facebook post is not sufficient evidence that he was intoxicated.

Seems like a rather vague charge, but I suspect it's akin to leaving the scene of an accident.  How in the world does a FB post professing to have hit a car prove that he in fact hit THAT car?  Seems like a good lawyer ought to be able to make this go away.


Well, you probably start with police reports of hit & runs that night.  Then you can probably track down the address of the kid that was outed to see if there was any damage to his vehicle suggesting that he was indeed in a collision.  Then you can attempt to match the patterns of damage on the cars, possibly see if matching paint chips were present.  Then you arrest him.  You know, classic police work.
 
2013-01-04 04:44:50 PM  
Dude needs more friends like Carmelo Anthony - then there would be no snitchen
 
2013-01-04 04:47:24 PM  
Ahhh the evils of drinking. Perhaps we should make drinking against the law, then this would never have happened.

Then again, neither would this:

ts1.mm.bing.net
 
2013-01-04 04:47:31 PM  

SuperChuck: So you're saying that reporting someone for driving drunk is the wrong thing to do?


I'm saying that if people called the cops on me for every joke I made online regarding fictional illegal behavior, I'd never get to leave the interrogation room.
 
2013-01-04 04:47:38 PM  
Finally, attention-whoring has begun to have consequences. As long as your "friends" rat you out.
 
2013-01-04 04:48:18 PM  

Sybarite: I'm at least going to give the kid points for not including YOLO anywhere in his post.


Toats
 
2013-01-04 04:50:00 PM  

BSABSVR: As I was told in numerous "innocence of muslims" threads,  this is an impossibility.


Wrong thread, I take it?
 
2013-01-04 04:51:02 PM  
Well legal outcomes aside, at this rate the kid won't be long for this earth anyway.
 
2013-01-04 04:51:12 PM  
First saw the post on Reddit in the face palm subreddit. Then a friend from Oregon forwarded the story. Now it's on Fark

It's the circle of life!
 
2013-01-04 04:51:46 PM  
"You're under arrest!   :-o   :-P   ;-)  "
 
2013-01-04 04:54:10 PM  

Pud: Weaver95: nekom:

Seems like a rather vague charge, but I suspect it's akin to leaving the scene of an accident.  How in the world does a FB post professing to have hit a car prove that he in fact hit THAT car?  Seems like a good lawyer ought to be able to make this go away.

that's what I suspect will happen.  unless the cops have some sort of physical evidence to back up more serious charges...it'll end up being a paperwork drill and likely be dismissed.  there's no 'drunk driving' exception to the first amendment. if you want to go on FB and be a dumbass and say stupid things then well...go right ahead.  absent evidence of criminal activity, it's just facebook ranting and not criminal.

I read in a different article that there was damage to his car with paint marks matching the 2 other cars he hit. So that'll probably be enough.


Yeah, I was figuring that.

I searched a parking lot of about 100 cars and found the one that hit my car then got the guys insurance to pay one time.

Yay.
 
2013-01-04 04:55:16 PM  

SlothB77: Deputy Chief Brad Johnston says Cox-Brown was charged with failure to perform the duties of a driver. He was not charged with drunken driving because the Facebook post is not sufficient evidence that he was intoxicated.

so a facebook post is sufficient evidence that he sideswiped someone, but not sufficient evidence he was drunk?


Nope, not at all. A Feacebook post creates reasonable suspicion. An investigation into the crash - two struck cars, and damage and paint matching on his car - creates probable cause to arrest. There is no evidence to create probable cause for the DUI.
 
2013-01-04 04:56:18 PM  

codenamewizard: Ahhh the evils of drinking. Perhaps we should make drinking against the law, then this would never have happened.

Then again, neither would this:


I love that pic.
 
2013-01-04 04:56:27 PM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Mr. Nerves' most recent Google searches included 'Cloris Leachman upskirt,'


`O_0)
 
2013-01-04 04:58:42 PM  
See, this it's why you don't drunk Facebook

/in fact, don't drunk anything, except pass out
 
2013-01-04 04:58:50 PM  

ultraholland: though not enough for a criminal conviction, this information can certainly be forwarded to his insurance and get his ass dropped.


Also it ensures that any cop who tags for a moving violation in the near future won't cut him any slack. I know a dumb shiat who bragged about getting away with 50 in a 25 (in a residential area). Cops played it off like it was no big deal and they couldn't do anything. A month later after the moron felt secure he was back to speeding and when an unmarked unit popped his ass, there was no mercy.
 
2013-01-04 05:02:22 PM  

PsiChick: BSABSVR: As I was told in numerous "innocence of muslims" threads,  this is an impossibility.

Wrong thread, I take it?


Xenophobia fits ANYWHERE!!!
 
2013-01-04 05:03:30 PM  

ultraholland: though not enough for a criminal conviction, this information can certainly be forwarded to his insurance and get his ass dropped.


And having to deal with cops and lawyers for a while might just slow his drunk ass down. Probably not, but you never know.
 
2013-01-04 05:03:42 PM  
NO NO NO. This cannot be allowed to stand. This sort of thing is a capital offense. When will people wake up and realized that this is NOT okay!?

It's "whomever".
 
2013-01-04 05:05:35 PM  

Lionel Mandrake: Jacob Cox-Brown

Poor kid...at least it's not "Brown-Cox"


It will be when he drops the soap
 
2013-01-04 05:11:47 PM  
Moved to Astoria 5 months ago, it's like 1987 here. I'm suprised the kid had facebook.
 
2013-01-04 05:14:45 PM  

ha-ha-guy: ultraholland: though not enough for a criminal conviction, this information can certainly be forwarded to his insurance and get his ass dropped.

Also it ensures that any cop who tags for a moving violation in the near future won't cut him any slack. I know a dumb shiat who bragged about getting away with 50 in a 25 (in a residential area). Cops played it off like it was no big deal and they couldn't do anything. A month later after the moron felt secure he was back to speeding and when an unmarked unit popped his ass, there was no mercy.


There's this. Cops and judges have long memories and no sense of humor.

Also, this kid is 18 and probably still on daddy's insurance. If this info gets forwarded to DADDY'S insurance, and daddy's rates skyrocket, daddy may not find it too funny, either.
 
2013-01-04 05:14:46 PM  
GIS for Cloris Leachman Upskirt

t3.gstatic.com

hot?
 
2013-01-04 05:16:28 PM  
"Classic"?
 
2013-01-04 05:18:38 PM  

Seacop: Moved to Astoria 5 months ago, it's like 1987 here. I'm suprised the kid had facebook.


More like 1985, am I right!?

Link
 
2013-01-04 05:19:53 PM  

No Time To Explain: See, this it's why you don't drunk Facebook

/in fact, don't drunk anything, except pass out


Are you drunk now?  Drunkin' farking is where it's at!

/I don't mean actually being on Fark.
 
2013-01-04 05:21:02 PM  

freewill: "Classic"?


The misuse of this word is the real crime. The Iliad is classic--drunk driving is just douchey. Something tells me the Coxster is a classic choad, complete with popped collar and SC Gamecocks hat.
 
2013-01-04 05:30:12 PM  
Amazing. After billions upon billions of worthless junk posted to Facebook finally there is one that has any value to society whatsoever. Congratulations Facebook.
 
2013-01-04 05:31:41 PM  
<b><a href="http://www.fark.com/comments/7517647/81679378#c81679378" target="_blank">freewill</a>:</b> <i>"Classic"?</i>

i'll venture to guess they finally wore out "epic" and are feeling out alternatives
 
2013-01-04 05:33:31 PM  

Armand Tanzarian: Seacop: Moved to Astoria 5 months ago, it's like 1987 here. I'm suprised the kid had facebook.

More like 1985, am I right!?

Link


given that and this:Link and this Link

I decided '87 sounded good.
 
2013-01-04 05:33:37 PM  

tricycleracer: SuperChuck: So you're saying that reporting someone for driving drunk is the wrong thing to do?

I'm saying that if people called the cops on me for every joke I made online regarding fictional illegal behavior, I'd never get to leave the interrogation room.


Drunk driving isn't funny. I have family members who were murdered by drunk drivers. If you make jokes about drunk driving and are dumb enough or mentally unwell enough to think it's amusing then you need counseling. If you actually do drink and drive you need serious jail time if not death. Why would you like about committing crimes and post it on a public site? My gosh, you have issues.
 
2013-01-04 05:36:54 PM  
At least he didn't kill others, his friends, or himself (yes, in that order) like someone else....

d.webgenerator24.pl

/YOLO!!
 
2013-01-04 05:37:38 PM  
I think it's sad that an 18 year old really thinks it's no big deal to drink, drive and hit things. They want to be like their favorite celeb who seem to get DUI's yet never any real punishment.
 
2013-01-04 05:43:15 PM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: We really, really need the public stocks brought back. A weekend getting pelted with rotten cabbages would do a lot more to prevent future asspipery.


Way over due. And I support Denis Leary's warning that eliminating not completely safe children's toys will have horrible repercussions.

/ dammit, that Easy Bake Over is hot!
 
2013-01-04 05:46:04 PM  
We(s)t side hipsters.
 
2013-01-04 05:46:36 PM  
As a few others have observed, how is a dick move like drunk driving considered "classic"? What's "classic" about it, exactly?

It's not a tuxedo or a martini or "Born to Run."

Is he a giant douche who thinks everything he does is "classic" or just extremely stupid?
 
2013-01-04 05:51:50 PM  

Weaver95: meh, he'll get a lawyer and that charge will be dropped.  sure, the kid was a dumbass but...facebook posts alone don't prove criminal conduct.  now, if this idiot had posted a video of himself driving drunk and sideswiping a car...then his ass would be in serious trouble.


A FB message alone, no. He got charged (not with drunken driving, but with some variant of negligent driving) because the incident was already being investigated, and there was other evidence in the form of witnesses and so on tying him to the crime once the lead was followed.

Also, you're really got to give the writer some credit for managing this one: He did not immediately respond to a Facebook message seeking comment. That was moderately funny.

Mija: I have family members who were murdered by drunk drivers.


Like, they specifically hunted down your family members for the sole purpose of running them over while drunk?

That seems like an incredibly convoluted way to go about a murder, why not just shoot them while sober? The whole "drunk driving" bit would make it hard to make sure you were hitting the right person, plus what if they just left the road or climbed up some stairs or something?
 
2013-01-04 05:53:57 PM  

Smelly Pirate Hooker: Is he a giant douche who thinks everything he does is "classic" or just extremely stupid?


My assumption would have been that he was still drunk when he made the post, not that his judgement is always that poor.
 
2013-01-04 05:54:17 PM  
650 friends? How do you even manage that? The only FB friends I have, with few exceptions, are those I know in RL. I use it as a way to maintain contact, not as a popularity contest.
 
2013-01-04 05:55:26 PM  

Smelly Pirate Hooker: Is he a giant douche who thinks everything he does is "classic" or just extremely stupid?


He's a drunk 18 year old, flip a coin.
 
2013-01-04 05:55:27 PM  

buckler: 650 friends? How do you even manage that? The only FB friends I have, with few exceptions, are those I know in RL. I use it as a way to maintain contact, not as a popularity contest.


I assume 18 year olds just friend pretty much everyone in their High School, even if they're not real "friends".
 
2013-01-04 05:55:51 PM  

buckler: 650 friends? How do you even manage that? The only FB friends I have, with few exceptions, are those I know in RL. I use it as a way to maintain contact, not as a popularity contest.


650 should be pretty easy, even making sure you know all of them personally. I'm a complete hermit and I have over 150 FB friends, all of whom I know personally.
 
2013-01-04 06:03:34 PM  
If your Cox-Brown you should probably wash it more often.
 
2013-01-04 06:08:01 PM  
Very appropriate use of the DUMBASS tag :D

Commit the crime, don't admit the crime!
 
2013-01-04 06:10:59 PM  
My penis has its own Facebook page so we're getting a kick...

Damn kids these days.
 
2013-01-04 06:11:26 PM  

had98c: Just wait until the non-Facebook based news stories start saying "Mr. X had no Facebook account that we could find for more information."


I was a trifle amused at the incredulous tone in which the media reported the Connecticut shooter appeared to have no Facebook account.

Makes ya wonder how the media ever managed to write a story on anyone before the days in which we posted Instagram shots of our lunch and the drunken revelries of the evening.
 
2013-01-04 06:15:22 PM  
*sigh*
 
2013-01-04 06:22:38 PM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: We really, really need the public stocks brought back. A weekend getting pelted with rotten cabbages would do a lot more to prevent future asspipery.


I'm pretty sure you could fark someone in the stocks.
 
2013-01-04 06:24:55 PM  
Astoria police say officers were investigating a hit and run...


i1303.photobucket.com
A**HOLE!!
 
2013-01-04 06:31:15 PM  

Lionel Mandrake: Jacob Cox-Brown

Poor kid...at least it's not "Brown-Cox"


Fact: They still point at him casually and say "Cox-Brown".
 
2013-01-04 06:31:52 PM  
this is why I only confess on fark
 
2013-01-04 06:33:25 PM  

SuperChuck: I'd rather be friends with people that think drunk driving is wrong and needs to be stopped.


Slap them MADD titties on, and march yourself on down to Vaginaville, already.
 
2013-01-04 06:34:19 PM  
Cox Brown? How many does he have?

He will have no cuhunies after the new ins. rates.
 
2013-01-04 06:38:59 PM  
Only 2 out of 650?

Diffusion of responsibility is alive and well.
 
2013-01-04 06:42:50 PM  
No Goonies references yet?
 
2013-01-04 06:45:00 PM  

Armand Tanzarian: Seacop: Moved to Astoria 5 months ago, it's like 1987 here. I'm suprised the kid had facebook.

More like 1985, am I right!?

Link


I had assumed that would be first and we'd be done in one.
 
2013-01-04 06:47:29 PM  

rmify: this is why I only confess on fark


*busted*
 
2013-01-04 06:53:35 PM  

Mija: tricycleracer: SuperChuck: So you're saying that reporting someone for driving drunk is the wrong thing to do?

I'm saying that if people called the cops on me for every joke I made online regarding fictional illegal behavior, I'd never get to leave the interrogation room.

Drunk driving isn't funny. I have family members who were murdered by drunk drivers. If you make jokes about drunk driving and are dumb enough or mentally unwell enough to think it's amusing then you need counseling. If you actually do drink and drive you need serious jail time if not death. Why would you like about committing crimes and post it on a public site? My gosh, you have issues.


I bet your dead family members are really glad you're preserving their memories by being a giant pussy.
 
zez
2013-01-04 06:54:39 PM  
He did not immediately respond to a Facebook message seeking comment.

Is this really how far investigative journalism had dropped?
 
2013-01-04 06:55:44 PM  
Ah facebook, the prosecutor's best friend.

1 - Statements against your own interest, especially those regarding confessions can be admissible as evidence.

2 - Drunk drivers should be beaten with sticks pay their attorneys up front and in cash.

3 - I'm surprised he wasn't charged with "texting while driving."
 
2013-01-04 07:14:06 PM  

Lionel Mandrake: Jacob Cox-Brown

Poor kid...at least it's not "Brown-Cox"


Why? I heard the ladies love those.
 
2013-01-04 07:26:12 PM  

you have pee hands: Smelly Pirate Hooker: Is he a giant douche who thinks everything he does is "classic" or just extremely stupid?

He's a drunk 18 year old, flip a coin.


Sure. But he wasn't too drunk to text AND drive at the same time, so I'm gonna go with extremely stupid.
 
2013-01-04 07:26:26 PM  

had98c: buckler: 650 friends? How do you even manage that? The only FB friends I have, with few exceptions, are those I know in RL. I use it as a way to maintain contact, not as a popularity contest.

650 should be pretty easy, even making sure you know all of them personally. I'm a complete hermit and I have over 150 FB friends, all of whom I know personally.


So you're one of those who friends everyone you know. If I cared about 150 people, I'd be sending out a birthday card every other day of the year on average.
 
2013-01-04 07:26:37 PM  

GoodOmens: At least he didn't kill others, his friends, or himself (yes, in that order) like someone else....

[d.webgenerator24.pl image 600x437]

/YOLO!!


Yolo is a county in Northern California he looks like he could be from West Sac.
 
2013-01-04 07:35:40 PM  

No Time To Explain: See, this it's why you don't drunk Facebook

/in fact, don't drunk anything, except pass out


Passing out can be a problem too, depending on where you do it.
 
2013-01-04 07:37:47 PM  

duffblue: Mija: tricycleracer: SuperChuck: So you're saying that reporting someone for driving drunk is the wrong thing to do?

I'm saying that if people called the cops on me for every joke I made online regarding fictional illegal behavior, I'd never get to leave the interrogation room.

Drunk driving isn't funny. I have family members who were murdered by drunk drivers. If you make jokes about drunk driving and are dumb enough or mentally unwell enough to think it's amusing then you need counseling. If you actually do drink and drive you need serious jail time if not death. Why would you like about committing crimes and post it on a public site? My gosh, you have issues.

I bet your dead family members are really glad you're preserving their memories by being a giant pussy.


Oh, my.  You sound like a pleasant person.
 
2013-01-04 07:41:22 PM  

duffblue: being a giant pussy


You are what you eat.
 
2013-01-04 07:55:47 PM  

zez: He did not immediately respond to a Facebook message seeking comment.

Is this really how far investigative journalism had dropped?


I imagine so, and this really explains a lot.
 
2013-01-04 08:18:30 PM  

Lionel Mandrake: Jacob Cox-Brown

Poor kid...at least it's not "Brown-Cox"


that's quite uncommon for a male. Usually the hyphenated last name is more typical for women who decides to keep their maiden name.
 
2013-01-04 08:22:30 PM  

had98c: buckler: 650 friends? How do you even manage that? The only FB friends I have, with few exceptions, are those I know in RL. I use it as a way to maintain contact, not as a popularity contest.

650 should be pretty easy, even making sure you know all of them personally. I'm a complete hermit and I have over 150 FB friends, all of whom I know personally.


If you're a hermit I must be the humpback of notre dame. I've yet to break a hundred and that's friends spanning 3 continents..
 
2013-01-04 08:32:17 PM  

Active introvert: I think it's sad that an 18 year old really thinks it's no big deal to drink, drive and hit things. They want to be like their favorite celeb who seem to get DUI's yet never any real punishment.


Lots of this. American celebs in London are often confused when jailed for DUI. Like rabies, this sociopathic behaviour has been nearly eradicated in the UK and we don't want it back.
 
2013-01-04 08:34:42 PM  

Weaver95: SlothB77:

News sites are now reporting how many friends we have?  So in addition to charging me with a DUI, they get to embarrass me by divulging how much of a loser I am?

I actively discourage people from friending me on facebook.  or following me on twitter.  hell, even from paying attention to me on fark.  even I don't think i've got anything important to say.


I for one never read any of your posts, and I suspect the same is true of most Farkers.
 
2013-01-04 08:39:54 PM  
Even though it's pretty likely he'll skate on any charges that could be brought, the damage to his vehicle, the paint from the other car, and his dumbass Facebook comments will be more than enough to make sure he loses any civil action brought against him by the owner of the other car. Preponderance of evidence and all.
 
2013-01-04 09:17:04 PM  

cgremlin: Even though it's pretty likely he'll skate on any charges that could be brought, the damage to his vehicle, the paint from the other car, and his dumbass Facebook comments will be more than enough to make sure he loses any civil action brought against him by the owner of the other car. Preponderance of evidence and all.


Oh, I do wish I was in court the day this comes before the judge....
 
2013-01-04 09:19:18 PM  

Weaver95: nekom:

Seems like a rather vague charge, but I suspect it's akin to leaving the scene of an accident.  How in the world does a FB post professing to have hit a car prove that he in fact hit THAT car?  Seems like a good lawyer ought to be able to make this go away.

that's what I suspect will happen.  unless the cops have some sort of physical evidence to back up more serious charges...it'll end up being a paperwork drill and likely be dismissed.  there's no 'drunk driving' exception to the first amendment. if you want to go on FB and be a dumbass and say stupid things then well...go right ahead.  absent evidence of criminal activity, it's just facebook ranting and not criminal.


I'm sure the post would be reason enough for them to inspect his car. If he sideswiped someone, there will be evidence.
 
2013-01-04 09:21:18 PM  

nekom: Lionel Mandrake: It doesn't, but it could put him near the scene at the right time, and then they could compare paint colors exchanged in the collision or match pieces of headlight glass from the ground to his car.

C'mon, man, don't you ever watch Forensic Files?

Actually, if the post is somehow geo-tagged, I suppose it could place him at the scene, if he posted it just after he had hit a car and the post recorded his location.  Even that's a fairly lame case for the prosecution.  And I suppose they COULD actually compare damage between the two vehicles and run some serious forensics on that, but that's the kind of stuff they save for murder cases, not so much pissant hit and run cases.


Yeah, but paint swapping is very common, and is often used in hit- and- run cases. Also, it's not that hard to pick up the pieces of plastic parts that are scattered on the ground, and find a part number. Doesn't take much time at all. Sure, they're not going to do an expensive chemical analysis of the paint to see if it matches his car EXACTLY, but the color, the parts left behind, the facebook post, the time, and likely the location of the crash, and they probably won't have too much trouble getting him with something. Sounds like they charged him with a misdemeanor that carries some sort of fine as the penalty- he's NOT going to spend a whole lot on a lawyer for that.
 
2013-01-04 09:35:03 PM  

occamswrist: Only 2 out of 650?

Diffusion of responsibility is alive and well.


Snitches get stitches. Or so i've heard.
 
2013-01-04 09:55:56 PM  

nekom: Weaver95: meh, he'll get a lawyer and that charge will be dropped.  sure, the kid was a dumbass but...facebook posts alone don't prove criminal conduct.  now, if this idiot had posted a video of himself driving drunk and sideswiping a car...then his ass would be in serious trouble.

Well, from TFA:  Deputy Chief Brad Johnston says Cox-Brown was charged with failure to perform the duties of a driver. He was not charged with drunken driving because the Facebook post is not sufficient evidence that he was intoxicated.

Seems like a rather vague charge, but I suspect it's akin to leaving the scene of an accident.  How in the world does a FB post professing to have hit a car prove that he in fact hit THAT car?  Seems like a good lawyer ought to be able to make this go away.


They can examine the car and find paint of another car. Someone complains about a hit and run, and they can match. Then boy is he in trouble.Of course they can't prove drinking and driving, but they can prove hit and run.
 
2013-01-04 10:05:05 PM  

Mad Mark: occamswrist: Only 2 out of 650?

Diffusion of responsibility is alive and well.

Snitches get stitches. Or so i've heard.


Who's ledger?

*grrr*

*snikt*

I'm clean, and always have been, so FO. Other people lie; I truth.
 
2013-01-04 11:23:32 PM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: SlothB77: Deputy Chief Brad Johnston says Cox-Brown was charged with failure to perform the duties of a driver. He was not charged with drunken driving because the Facebook post is not sufficient evidence that he was intoxicated.

so a facebook post is sufficient evidence that he sideswiped someone, but not sufficient evidence he was drunk?

Cox-Brown has more than 650 Facebook friends.

News sites are now reporting how many friends we have?  So in addition to charging me with a DUI, they get to embarrass me by divulging how much of a loser I am?

Wait until your search history is part of every arrest record:
"Given that Mr. Nerves' most recent Google searches included 'Cloris Leachman upskirt,' 'Care Bear Fan Fiction,' 'loneliest man ever' and 'How long do you microwave a pumpkin before you fark it' his DUI arrest is understandable."


Oh. You need to microwave the pumpkin. That's what I was doing wrong.
 
2013-01-04 11:41:43 PM  
Wanted for questioning...

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-05 12:15:05 AM  

offacue: GIS for Cloris Leachman Upskirt

[t3.gstatic.com image 287x175]

hot?


This one was good too.
backseatcuddler.com
Pretty fun random search.
 
2013-01-05 12:18:27 AM  

SuperChuck: tricycleracer: Astoria police say officers were investigating a hit and run involving a sideswiped car when two Facebook friends of Jacob Cox-Brown contacted authorities

Some friends you've got there, Brown Cock.

So you're saying that reporting someone for driving drunk is the wrong thing to do? I'd rather be friends with people that think drunk driving is wrong and needs to be stopped.


They said "facebook friends". That's not real-world friends. That's a person you dont hate that you added to bump your numbers. That shiat should have died with myspace.
 
2013-01-05 12:22:02 AM  

occamswrist: Only 2 out of 650?

Diffusion of responsibility is alive and well.


How many actually read his page?
 
2013-01-05 12:26:48 AM  

Gaseous Anomaly: I for one never read any of your posts, and I suspect the same is true of most Farkers.


Er, about that never reading of his posts you responded to... logic would like you to have a seat over there...
 
2013-01-05 12:26:55 AM  

saturn badger: occamswrist: Only 2 out of 650?

Diffusion of responsibility is alive and well.

How many actually read his page?

To page

 
2013-01-05 12:31:54 AM  
One more Cloris Leachman upskirt GIS. Doesn't get much stranger than this.

t2.gstatic.com
 
2013-01-05 03:29:10 AM  
I knew you could "poke" someone on the book of face.

I didn't know you could "pokey" them also.
 
2013-01-05 06:00:27 AM  

nekom: Weaver95: meh, he'll get a lawyer and that charge will be dropped.  sure, the kid was a dumbass but...facebook posts alone don't prove criminal conduct.  now, if this idiot had posted a video of himself driving drunk and sideswiping a car...then his ass would be in serious trouble.

Well, from TFA:  Deputy Chief Brad Johnston says Cox-Brown was charged with failure to perform the duties of a driver. He was not charged with drunken driving because the Facebook post is not sufficient evidence that he was intoxicated.

Seems like a rather vague charge, but I suspect it's akin to leaving the scene of an accident.  How in the world does a FB post professing to have hit a car prove that he in fact hit THAT car?  Seems like a good lawyer ought to be able to make this go away.


I'm sure the evidence that the collision left both at the scene and on his vehicle is more than sufficient.
 
2013-01-05 07:54:24 AM  
Dumbasss
 
2013-01-05 09:07:15 AM  

SuperNinjaToad: had98c: buckler: 650 friends? How do you even manage that? The only FB friends I have, with few exceptions, are those I know in RL. I use it as a way to maintain contact, not as a popularity contest.
650 should be pretty easy, even making sure you know all of them personally. I'm a complete hermit and I have over 150 FB friends, all of whom I know personally.
If you're a hermit I must be the humpback of notre dame. I've yet to break a hundred and that's friends spanning 3 continents..


That is one problem with FB, friend inflation. You are not really friends with all those people. You added them to get your friend count higher. I know that I was asked to friend people I hardly know, or people like girls I went to high school who wouldn't look twice at me then now want to "friend" me. I only have about 30 friends. But I have turned down a lot of requests. But these are people I truly give a damn about. Maybe I am doing it wrong.
 
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