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(NBC News)   According to this article, 2013 will be the year you return to MySpace, re-open your Yahoo account, start watching golf, and buy your father's car. Oh, and you're a Republican now, too   (nbcnews.com) divider line 86
    More: Unlikely, GOP, MySpace, Yahoo, Mr. Potato Head, Villanova University, Lincoln Town Car, Yahoo Mail, Hostess Brands  
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6503 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jan 2013 at 11:55 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-04 12:42:21 PM
Greetings to the New Brantgoose: Republican, used-car buying, golf-loving and able to move large objects with mind-power alone.

ETA: 1,000,2013 A.D.

It could happen. Provided the GOP flip-flops back into a liberal Northern party, I win the lottery and move to Manhatten, modern science finds a cure for aging and death, and I somehow acquire the power of telekinesis from super-advanced aliens.
 
2013-01-04 12:44:15 PM

detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Everyone is a democrat until they start contributing to a 401k.


WAT?
 
2013-01-04 12:45:09 PM

detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Everyone is a democrat until they start contributing to a 401k.


Funny, I was a Republican until shortly after I started contributing to my 401k. I switched to "decline to state" shortly after they "released the Palin."

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-04 12:45:16 PM
1. Re-opened MySpace account: check.
2. Re-opened Yahoo! account: check.
3. Purchase Golf channel from CableOne: check.
4. Bought dad's old truck: check
5. Become gay: check.
 
2013-01-04 12:49:45 PM
I'm bored, I'm the chairman of the board...

/I'm getting back into useless commenting on the interwebs
//Thanks allot Al!...
 
2013-01-04 12:50:00 PM
Well I am pretty pissed at the new tax hike. Don't know if I want to sign up for the full lobatomy just yet though.
 
2013-01-04 12:50:38 PM

Charlie Chingas: 1. Re-opened MySpace account: check.
2. Re-opened Yahoo! account: check.
3. Purchase Golf channel from CableOne: check.
4. Bought dad's old truck: check
5. Become gay, but bury yourself so deep in the closet that random airport bathroom BJs and anti-gay legislation are your only outlets: check.


First I LOL'd, then I fixed.
 
2013-01-04 12:52:30 PM
The most important lesson the GOP needs to learn this year in the form of a riddle:

Do you know why some black people (and most Mainland Chinese) privately call white people "ghosts"?

BECAUSE THEY CAN SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOU, CRACKER JACKASS!


Serious. Try to entertain this new idea:  black and other "minority" voters are rational and can figure out which side their bread is buttered on. And even if they don't want the butter, they can tell their friends from their enemies nine times out of ten.

To win over any significant number of these people you will have to change your fundamental values and beliefs, as well as policies, bringing many of them into the eighteenth century, if not the twentieth. It is not enough to think up new lies, empty promises, and BS with which to befuddle or bedazzle the voters.

Also, it would help to drop the conspiratorial thinking whereby the only thing that prevents you from appealing to the majority of moderates, liberals, and non-voters is the Devil and All His Minions. People are capable of rudimentary thought and economic analysis.

THEY'RE NOT THAT INTO YOU.
 
2013-01-04 12:54:40 PM

robohobo: I've had the same yahoo account for like 18 years now. I use my gmail more, but I still use the yahoo regularly.

Same email account for almost 20 years....that makes me feel old.

/2 years till dehydrated pizza!


Yahoo mail didn't start til around September of 1997 shortly after they bought Rocket mail.

I got my account in December of 97 and I still use the mail account.
 
2013-01-04 12:54:48 PM
Young liberals don't becomes old conservatives because they get old. They do it because the definitions of liberal and conservative change. 60 years ago you were a liberal if you supported integrated schools. 100 years ago you were a liberal if you thought women should vote. 150 years ago, you were a liberal if you were a republican. The goalposts move.

If they think they can win the youth simply by "rebranding", without actually changing any of their positions, they are fooling themselves.

Who knows, maybe in 50 years I WILL be a conservative, but not because my own social views have changed. I have no idea what sort of issues will be the talk of the day, or what side of them I will come down on.

Should it be legal to eat your own clone?
Human/hologram marriage okay?
How old should you have to be to download the memories of a pornstar into your neural banks?
 
2013-01-04 12:57:12 PM

Mitch Taylor's Bro: Charlie Chingas: 1. Re-opened MySpace account: check.
2. Re-opened Yahoo! account: check.
3. Purchase Golf channel from CableOne: check.
4. Bought dad's old truck: check
5. Become gay, but bury yourself so deep in the closet that random airport bathroom BJs and anti-gay legislation are your only outlets: check.

First I LOL'd, then I fixed.


Much oblig.. Sorry, had "mayo" at the corner of my mouth. Much obliged.

/tap
//tap tap tap
///NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
 
2013-01-04 12:58:53 PM

brantgoose: The most important lesson the GOP needs to learn this year in the form of a riddle:

Do you know why some black people (and most Mainland Chinese) privately call white people "ghosts"?

BECAUSE THEY CAN SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOU, CRACKER JACKASS!

Serious. Try to entertain this new idea:  black and other "minority" voters are rational and can figure out which side their bread is buttered on. And even if they don't want the butter, they can tell their friends from their enemies nine times out of ten.

To win over any significant number of these people you will have to change your fundamental values and beliefs, as well as policies, bringing many of them into the eighteenth century, if not the twentieth. It is not enough to think up new lies, empty promises, and BS with which to befuddle or bedazzle the voters.

Also, it would help to drop the conspiratorial thinking whereby the only thing that prevents you from appealing to the majority of moderates, liberals, and non-voters is the Devil and All His Minions. People are capable of rudimentary thought and economic analysis.

THEY'RE NOT THAT INTO YOU.


Why not the 21st century?  What's wrong with the one we live in?
 
2013-01-04 12:59:50 PM
The Lincoln towncar looks like it is wearing hipster glasses. You know the kind I mean. Hipsters wore them briefly and then realized it just made them look silly and cock-eyed.
 
2013-01-04 01:02:27 PM

stpauler: I never stopped using my yahoo mail account.  I didn't realize it was "out".


/Yeah, I got a gmail account, but tend to use my yahoomail more.


Same boat. Had yahoo account first, later started a gmail, thought "I don't really see any advantages here to switching" so kept using yahoo as the main one.
 
2013-01-04 01:05:54 PM
i re-opened my yahoo account this morning looking for an email from 2004.
 
2013-01-04 01:06:21 PM

mr_fulano: You are going to re-open "that" Yahoo account that you use to hook up with skanky craigslist characters.


You too? Glad to know I'm not the only one.
 
2013-01-04 01:08:01 PM
and i still have myspace because it has some old music of mine

http://www.myspace.com/gerryattrick

gerry attrick and the walkers. listen to 40 or natural titties.

/not great but i had fun
 
2013-01-04 01:17:39 PM
So the old guys over at Lincoln looked over at the old guys and Buick and said "Yeah, let's try that". They are expensive to buy, expensive to drive, expensive to maintain.
 
2013-01-04 01:23:04 PM

RDixon: robohobo: I've had the same yahoo account for like 18 years now. I use my gmail more, but I still use the yahoo regularly.

Same email account for almost 20 years....that makes me feel old.

/2 years till dehydrated pizza!

Yahoo mail didn't start til around September of 1997 shortly after they bought Rocket mail.

I got my account in December of 97 and I still use the mail account.


Ah. Okay, I knew it was a long-ass time, was guesstimating. I wasn't sure, the oldest mail I have in there is from early 98 or something.
 
2013-01-04 01:43:55 PM

detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Everyone is a democrat until they start contributing to a 401k.


Hardly. Been contributing to my 403(b) (or whatever the nonprofit version of the 401K is) for 10 years, Roth IRA for three. Proudly Democrat.
 
2013-01-04 01:47:59 PM
Never had a Myspace account but oddly enough I was actually considering joining Facebook this year so I can be like the cool kids. Or have they all moved on to something else?
 
2013-01-04 01:53:48 PM

Fubegra: The cognitive dissonance is stunning.


Cognitive dissonance is the uncomfortable feeling you get when you try to hold two differing opinions. I don't think it bothers them at all to talk out of both sides of their asses, so no cognitive dissonance here.
 
2013-01-04 01:56:52 PM
The GOP
The GOP's recent presidential loss will likely catalyze a reinvention, says Karen Post, author of "Brand Turnaround: How Brands Gone Bad Return to Glory"and a self-identified moderate Republican. She believes the party has suffered from a lack of diversity, narrow messaging and too little Web and social media interaction. "A political party is like any big brand," she says, using Nike as an analogy. "While Nike has its one thing people associate it with, they spend millions segmenting consumers. The GOP is not grasping that." Republicans will spend 2013 trying to reach both younger and minority voters, she says, by ramping up social media efforts and recruiting new, diverse spokespeople.


Hey, dinkholes. How about instead of using darkies and no good whippersnappers to spread your filthy lies you actually CHANGE YOUR RETARDED HATEFUL POLICIES!!!

People LIKE fiscal responsibility, providing a positive environment for families and helping businesses grow. It's the goddamned racist, sexist, money grubbing, authoritarian assholishness they don't like!

Idiots.
 
2013-01-04 01:58:04 PM
Oh and don't forget the profiteering and warmongering.
 
2013-01-04 02:23:20 PM

Doubleodoug: So the old guys over at Lincoln looked over at the old guys and Buick and said "Yeah, let's try that". They are expensive to buy, expensive to drive, expensive to maintain.


I passed a new Lincoln SUV the other evening. Until I saw the badge I had assumed it was an early Oldsmobile or Buick minivan. It was mostly that the tail-light design that reminded me of an 80s GM product, even though I don't think they were ever put on the minivan platform. Not a winning design.
 
2013-01-04 02:27:56 PM

here to help: Oh and don't forget the profiteering and warmongering.


...and the homophobia.
 
2013-01-04 02:30:07 PM

ColSanders: Never had a Myspace account but oddly enough I was actually considering joining Facebook this year so I can be like the cool kids. Or have they all moved on to something else?


Ask your friends if they're on Facebook or not. If a lot of them say "yes," it can be a fun way to keep in touch. If they say "no," stick to Fark ;-)

Oh, and the new thing is Pinterest, but I haven't gone there yet. FB is all I have time for.
 
2013-01-04 02:37:12 PM
Shows what they know. Not only do I still have my Yahoo account and use it, heck, I bought my father's car decades ago.

As for the rest, I have far too much empathy for my fellow human beings to ever be a Republican. (Unless the Republicans themselves change dramatically and en massse in 2013, that is.)

/Yes, in fact, it was my father's Odsmobile...
 
2013-01-04 02:43:11 PM

Mitch Taylor's Bro: here to help: Oh and don't forget the profiteering and warmongering.

...and the homophobia.


oh... and the woman hating.

Just too much evil to keep track of.
 
2013-01-04 03:36:50 PM

here to help: Mitch Taylor's Bro: here to help: Oh and don't forget the profiteering and warmongering.

...and the homophobia.

oh... and the woman hating.

Just too much evil to keep track of.


But apart from all that, what have the Republicans ever done for us?
 
2013-01-04 03:48:17 PM

Rueened: But apart from all that, what have the Republicans ever done for us?


When the Repubs makes sense and do good I give them credit. I really don't care where positive things come from. They just seem to be less and less capable of doing said positive things... and worse they do more and more NEGATIVE things.

It's sad and infuriating. Hell... even the Freepers hate the current crop. How much lower can you go at that point?
 
2013-01-04 04:06:30 PM

toddism: listen to 40 or natural titties.


How does one go about doing that?
 
2013-01-04 04:59:54 PM

theorellior: toddism: listen to 40 or natural titties.

How does one go about doing that?


Liberal application of alcohol.
 
2013-01-04 05:59:38 PM
Yahoo has been trying to come back for a while now, and I just don't see it happening.
It has staved off its death spiral, but has not seemed to find a niche for relavence.
I still use my old yahoo e-mail, though, but I refuse to use their "new and improved" mail system.

Good god, it sucks so much. Why did they need to put all of it in Flash?
 
2013-01-04 06:38:15 PM

Rueened: here to help: Mitch Taylor's Bro: here to help: Oh and don't forget the profiteering and warmongering.

...and the homophobia.

oh... and the woman hating.

Just too much evil to keep track of.

But apart from all that, what have the Republicans ever done for us?


End slavery? Build the interstate highway system? Ensure that every scandal now ends in "-gate"?

i.ytimg.com
 
2013-01-04 06:39:35 PM

here to help: Rueened: But apart from all that, what have the Republicans ever done for us?

When the Repubs makes sense and do good I give them credit. I really don't care where positive things come from. They just seem to be less and less capable of doing said positive things... and worse they do more and more NEGATIVE things.

It's sad and infuriating. Hell... even the Freepers hate the current crop. How much lower can you go at that point?


That may actually indicate a small, teensy, baby step toward sanity.
 
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