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(Chicago Trib)   It looks as if President Obama's secret plan to--OH MY GOD A COYOTE KILLED A PUPPY   (chicagotribune.com ) divider line
    More: PSA, President Obama, Riverside, Des Plaines River  
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10769 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jan 2013 at 11:28 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-04 08:51:37 AM  
Secret plan to fight inflation?
 
2013-01-04 08:55:17 AM  
Although the resident said she did not see a coyote in the area, the vet said the wounds were consistent with a coyote attack.


Ghost coyote!
 
2013-01-04 09:04:26 AM  
Guess it couldn't outrun the roadrunner
 
2013-01-04 09:14:22 AM  
www.mirror.co.uk
 
2013-01-04 09:24:39 AM  
That's ruff.
 
2013-01-04 10:07:05 AM  
A calm and rational comment from the article, "It's really sad that the state won't take measure in doing something about it..Like get rid of of them since they are hurting our pets. Don't our pet deserve better??"
 
2013-01-04 11:30:23 AM  
SEND IN OBAMMY

s3-ak.buzzfed.com

/He'll take care of it. Oh and some A-1 sauce STAT!!!
 
2013-01-04 11:30:33 AM  

RedPhoenix122: Secret plan to fight inflation?


Thanks Josh.

/Fwoggy Bwattom
 
2013-01-04 11:31:06 AM  
Vampires.

The authorities are compeled to lie to the media.

/Got Vervain?
 
2013-01-04 11:33:08 AM  
Coyotes do not know the difference between pets and the small mammals they hunt.

Sure they do, that's why they're moving into large cities. Pets are easier to catch & eat.
 
2013-01-04 11:34:22 AM  
his secret plans to inform the Reds about Tex fixing the Blue's tank and using it on them?
 
2013-01-04 11:34:25 AM  

You Must Construct Additional Pylons.: Vampires.

The authorities are compeled to lie to the media.

/Got Vervain?


Zombies... Vampires aren't real
 
2013-01-04 11:34:35 AM  
Why are they blaming coyotes when there was a 70 pound dog in the yard with the puppy? Sounds like the dogs' owner is in denial.
 
2013-01-04 11:35:06 AM  
This isn't even fark-worthy news. This is nature.
 
2013-01-04 11:36:02 AM  
Residents should accompany pets while outdoors, and use a short leash because coyotes have attacked animals that are on longer leashes, according to a release from the Riverside police.


Today I learned that coyotes are concerned with leash size.
 
2013-01-04 11:36:57 AM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-04 11:39:05 AM  
We should wipe out those evil pet eating coyotes. With guns. Lots of guns. I need a gun to protect my dog.
 
2013-01-04 11:40:15 AM  
I know I was distracted. Obama's plan would have worked too, but the headline made me search around the site for the real news:

Republicans vote no for gun control and gay marriage. Oh my god the outrage
...YAWN...
I'll have to remember this if anyone decides to run against Boener in 1016.
 
2013-01-04 11:44:26 AM  
What's to be scared of anyway?

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-04 11:45:24 AM  
Two dogs were in a rear yard in the

What the hell is a rear yard?
 
2013-01-04 11:45:29 AM  
"Bichon-poo"? Is that some kind of fancy mutt?
 
2013-01-04 11:47:08 AM  

StrikitRich: "Bichon-poo"? Is that some kind of fancy mutt?


I stopped reading at that... decided the dog had it coming.
 
2013-01-04 11:47:38 AM  

blatz514: Two dogs were in a rear yard in the

What the hell is a rear yard?


a backyard
 
2013-01-04 11:47:45 AM  

blatz514: Two dogs were in a rear yard in the

What the hell is a rear yard?


The opposite of the front yard?
 
2013-01-04 11:49:04 AM  

TheGogmagog: I know I was distracted. Obama's plan would have worked too, but the headline made me search around the site for the real news:

Republicans vote no for gun control and gay marriage. Oh my god the outrage
...YAWN...
I'll have to remember this if anyone decides to run against Boener in 1016.


really... 1016... When did I go back in time... and when did that century have modern tech.
 
2013-01-04 11:50:31 AM  

The-Brain: StrikitRich: "Bichon-poo"? Is that some kind of fancy mutt?

I stopped reading at that... decided the dog had it coming.


No, not the poor dog, but the breeder.
 
2013-01-04 11:50:50 AM  
homepage.hispeed.ch

Wanted for questioning
 
2013-01-04 11:51:49 AM  

StrikitRich: "Bichon-poo"? Is that some kind of fancy mutt?


Cracker-eating mutt.
 
2013-01-04 11:52:02 AM  

JacksonBryan: A calm and rational comment from the article, "It's really sad that the state won't take measure in doing something about it..Like get rid of of them since they are hurting our pets. Don't our pet deserve better??"


Won't someone think of the furry children?
 
2013-01-04 11:55:23 AM  
Riverside motherfarker!!!!
-Wayne Brady
 
2013-01-04 11:58:56 AM  
Stupid dog breeds. Must...not.....start....ranting....about....designer....dogs....grrrrr rrr.....GRRRRRRRRR
 
2013-01-04 11:59:16 AM  
A jogger was bitten just yesterday on Boulder Creek Path in Boulder, CO. True story, Bro.
 
2013-01-04 12:00:52 PM  

Black_Lazerus: Riverside Bithlo motherfarker!!!!
-Wayne Brady


FTFY
 
2013-01-04 12:03:55 PM  
I saw a coyote hunting rats in a field yesterday. Won't somebody think of the rats?!?
 
2013-01-04 12:05:10 PM  

TheOther: I saw a coyote hunting rats in a field yesterday. Won't somebody think of the rats?!?


I'm thinking of the rats... But will I do something. Not likely. But I am thinking of them damn it!
 
2013-01-04 12:05:12 PM  
I would comment but I just had some coffee and now I need to take a Bichon-poo.
 
2013-01-04 12:07:45 PM  

NightOwl2255: blatz514: Two dogs were in a rear yard in the

What the hell is a rear yard?

The opposite of the front yard?


I was thinking they were talking about a large ass.  But what do I know.
 
2013-01-04 12:08:18 PM  
Dingo ate me papy
 
2013-01-04 12:09:32 PM  
FTA: " while healthy coyotes have not been known to attack humans".
Umm, Urban myth. Suburban Myth. Woodsy knows better.

BTW, A hungry coyote will go up against almost everything. A few trial nips and if weakness is evident, in for the wholegame.
 
2013-01-04 12:11:28 PM  
We need to ban high capacity coyotes to prevent such atrocities!
 
2013-01-04 12:16:00 PM  
The noble coyote lashed out in confusion at the abominable bugbear. She was unsure as to whether she was even in danger, only that this creature was not of nature . . . a twisted wreck of a thing. Her fear was primal, as if this horror's very existence called the equality of the wilderness into question. Killed a puppy? The only regret the coyote feels is that she could not chase the devil into hell and destroy it again.
 
2013-01-04 12:16:57 PM  

Braggi: We should wipe out those evil pet eating coyotes. With guns. Lots of guns. I need a gun to protect my dog.


I need a few more pit bulls to fight back.
 
2013-01-04 12:18:26 PM  

snocone: FTA: " while healthy coyotes have not been known to attack humans".
Umm, Urban myth. Suburban Myth. Woodsy knows better.

BTW, A hungry coyote will go up against almost everything. A few trial nips and if weakness is evident, in for the wholegame.


True. If a coyote nips at you, you want to hit it with a bang stick and get in the cage.
 
2013-01-04 12:18:30 PM  

JacksonBryan: A calm and rational comment from the article, "It's really sad that the state won't take measure in doing something about it..Like get rid of of them since they are hurting our pets. Don't our pet deserve better??"


Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch this bird for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad dog. Not like going down the pond chasin' bluegills and tommycods. This coyote, swallow you whole. Little shakin', little tenderizin', an' down you go. And we gotta do it quick, that'll bring back your tourists, put all your businesses on a payin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant. I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I'll find him for three, but I'll catch him, and kill him, for ten. But you've gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's just too many captains on this island. $10,000 for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.
 
2013-01-04 12:25:26 PM  
On'e 'm pm;y faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaappojjjg
 
2013-01-04 12:28:27 PM  
i280.photobucket.com

It was EL CHUPAPERRO!
 
2013-01-04 12:35:17 PM  
A 7-month-old "Bichon-poo" puppy...

Well, at least it wasn't a real dog.
 
2013-01-04 12:38:37 PM  
I had a bichon poo this morning. I was awake before e eryone else in the house. No kids banging on the door. No wife telling me to hurry up. Best BM I've had in a long time
 
2013-01-04 12:42:10 PM  
We're the puppies

Obama is the coyote
 
2013-01-04 12:44:56 PM  

The-Brain: StrikitRich: "Bichon-poo"? Is that some kind of fancy mutt?

I stopped reading at that... decided the dog had it coming.


Excellent response!

/Bravo.
 
2013-01-04 12:50:13 PM  
Hmm. I live about 10 miles North of Riverside and I saw a coyote taking a long greasy shiatzu in somebody's yard the other day.
 
2013-01-04 12:53:27 PM  
Bichon-poo?

Note to pet owners: If your "puppy" can get it's ass kicked by a narcoleptic hamster, you best keep it inside...
 
2013-01-04 12:55:36 PM  
Dead puppies aren't much fun.
 
2013-01-04 01:09:03 PM  

CheekyMonkey: Bichon-poo?

Note to pet owners: If your "puppy" can get it's ass kicked by a narcoleptic hamster, you best keep it inside...


Those stupid useless cotton ball looking punt sized dogs are everywhere in suburban apartments. Shaky little things; they'll try to hide behind their owner's legs when you pass them on the sidewalk.

If you have a real yard, get a real dog. I'm surprised a hawk didn't make a run at it before the coyote did.
 
2013-01-04 01:12:03 PM  
I did not RTFA but I like the submission because in my mind that's what U.S. politics is all about: Distraction.

Now, I don't favor any party over the other, but since the people in charge now (and over the last 4 years) have been democrats, this is the party I am aiming this towards. The Pubs did this just fine years back, when they instituted the Orwellian "terrorist" mark on, well, any citizen who doesn't agree with Big Brother. But the dems are doing just as well, if not better...

I think one of the governments' biggest - and most secret - power is the ability to manipulate the public via the media - i.e. distract. For example, everyone remembers the "OH NOES! BIG BIRD!" distraction during the elections. Do you remember the policies being argued? To get darker, while the gov't definitely did NOT want Sandy Hook to happen nor did they make it happen, it didn't HURT things either that the fiscal cliff - reported often enough itself - took back seat over a very emotional event. Of course, being over-emotional doesn't really work with rational thinking, so once again a total failure of U.S. government - by ALL parties - goes totally ignored.

Did anyone ever remember over the last 4 years about the downgrading of U.S. debt? No, you all remember "woo-hoo we got Bin-laden!". Anyway, while Osama was being buried, U.S. debt was downgraded - for the first time EVER - by Moody. BTW, such a downgrade costs the country billions - all on the taxpayer. This is YOUR paycheck getting hit. But you don't remember.

Just a week ago, buried amidst the SH crap, the news was saying that this "fiscal cliff" would NOT affect U.S. debt. But guess what?! Surprise, surprise!! Moody is once again considering a FURTHER lowering of U.S. debt. From the L.A. Times:

"Moody's will need to consider these measures in assessing the rating outlook," the company said Wednesday. The nation's debt outlook after those negotiations will determine whether Moody's downgrades the U.S. rating a notch to Aa1.

This is not a good place to be, people. I'll bet all y'all be thinking of this 'assault rifle' bulls*it that gonna be down, but y'all needs to edumacate yousself 'bout dis debt boolls*it! Word!

Maybe if Honey-booboo wore a "fiscal cliff" onesy the average citizen would take notice. Distract, distract, distract.
 
2013-01-04 01:37:35 PM  
had a red tail hawk try to take one of my doxies once. guess he didnt see the other doxie.

/feathers EVERYWHERE
 
2013-01-04 01:40:41 PM  

DS1970: For example, everyone remembers the "OH NOES! BIG BIRD!" distraction during the elections. Do you remember the policies being argued?


Yes, I remember exactly what policy was being discussed in the Big Bird distraction.

Mitt Romney was lying about wanting to cut spending, and Obama called him on it, pointing out that Romney had not proposed a single spending cut of any kind.

So, because Romney didn't have a plan to balance the budget, he lied and claimed that he did, and that he was going to balance the budget by cutting 0.01% of spending in the form of cuts to PBS. And then, because Romney is a giant asshole in addition to being a lying weasel, Romney decided to double down on the lying derp by calling out Big Bird by name.

So yes... Big Bird was about Romney (1) being a liar about his non-existent budget plan, (2) being a douchy asshole, and (3) revealing to America why he should never be elected to national office.
 
2013-01-04 01:46:33 PM  

StrikitRich: "Bichon-poo"? Is that some kind of fancy mutt?


It's when you crap out a scale model of a Firebird.
 
2013-01-04 01:57:14 PM  
In other news: After decades of lagging sales, Acme stock finally on the rise.
 
2013-01-04 02:21:30 PM  
I love this thread. I can remain safe in the knowledge that when I put all the people who popped in to rant about Obama on my ignore list that I will lose exactly nothing of value.
 
2013-01-04 02:37:32 PM  
I have an alibi
www.petercoyote.com
 
2013-01-04 02:55:00 PM  
 
2013-01-04 04:46:48 PM  
I feel more sorry for the coyote, nearly starving to death on the "bichon-poo" jerkey bit dog anyway.
 
2013-01-04 07:21:45 PM  

Benjamin Orr: Residents should accompany pets while outdoors, and use a short leash because coyotes have attacked animals that are on longer leashes, according to a release from the Riverside police.

Today I learned that coyotes are concerned with leash size.


Yes, and are also concerned with Justice, Truth, and the American Way, like all cute fuzzy animals in nature. Or so we need to believe, because otherwise we'd have to admit that they're just animals, and that's not going to happen.

/also, if we just exterminate all doves on the face of the planet, the Martians will stop attacking
//that's what I learned from the footage of the initial diplomatic blunder
 
2013-01-04 07:21:53 PM  
How have more people not been pointing out there was a 70 pound dog also with the puppy, and that the no one ever actually saw the alleged coyote?

Sounds like murder most foul to me!!!
 
2013-01-04 09:26:54 PM  
If only there were rifles chambered in a round suitable for hunting coyotes.

upload.wikimedia.org

/Hot. Like a freshly fired casing.
//Am I doing it right?
 
2013-01-04 09:38:32 PM  

Spartacus Outlaw: Why are they blaming coyotes when there was a 70 pound dog in the yard with the puppy? Sounds like the dogs' owner is in denial.


I know a person who isn't able to accept the fact she came home to find her two corgis meeting her happily and the (declawed) cat they'd lived with for years scattered in gory pieces across her apartment. She insists it must have died first. Um. She hasn't gotten another cat though
 
2013-01-05 03:07:47 AM  
Only humans see dogs as honorary humans, mainly because we're a bizarre species. The rest of the world sees them as either food, danger, or a source of scraps when they leave their kills/food bowls.

/imagine if, instead of wolves, early humans formed a bond with Komodo dragons
//now imagine a huge lizard with a poodle cut
 
2013-01-05 09:22:52 AM  

Keizer_Ghidorah: Only humans see dogs as honorary humans, mainly because we're a bizarre species. The rest of the world sees them as either food, danger, or a source of scraps when they leave their kills/food bowls.

/imagine if, instead of wolves, early humans formed a bond with Komodo dragons
//now imagine a huge lizard with a poodle cut


Well, what were the real choices? Various extinct bears, cave and American Lions, cave hyenas, sabertooths, huge dire wolves? maybe the last, I don't know how they acted, but without a tame gray wolf's nose and ears you could get an unexpected visit from one of the others. Or worse yet, those other unfriendly humans. The pressure, need to trust the hyperactive face licker Fidofang with the children would have been immense. Instead of pet wolves born to be alphas challenging their owners, people would shrug when they left to try and found their own packs, and just go ahead breed the submissive wolves that never would have bred in the wild and stayed.
 
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