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(Daily Mail)   So it turns out January 3rd was the most popular day for couples to file for divorce. January 4th is also a landmark day, generally known as "I've finally got that nagging harpy shrew/asshole off my back, now it's time to find some strange" Day   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 19
    More: Interesting, Maidstone  
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5543 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jan 2013 at 12:02 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-04 01:31:03 PM
4 votes:
generally known as "I've finally got that nagging harpy shrew/asshole off my back, now it's time to find some strange" Day

It's only called that until about 10:30pm, Subby. At about 10:30 on that first night is when the guy looks around the bar and realizes, "damn, there's a reason I stopped coming here". He hasn't been in so long that the cute little bartender he used to flirt with is now a married mother of three who has been replaced by some guy who won't even acknowledge him while he's waiting to get a drink. The skanks all look to be about the same age as his niece who recently graduated college and he doens't really know how to approach them because he doesn't remember his Twitter handle and they don't remember the Soup Nazi episode of Seinfeld. After listening intently to the conversations of the patrons next to him he FINALLY realizes what YOLO means. But he unfortunately tries to incorporate it into a pick-up line, telling a young girl that "you only LOVE once" and he becomes a bit of a laughing stock because the guys standing near him overheard it. He realizes that this scene isn't for him anymore and as he walks to the door a guy calls out to grab his attention. The guy is leaning against the bar with the young lady rubbing her ass against him and he says, "bar chics don't love once. Most of them don't even love one at a time. Lol". The sting of the mocking laughter sends the former husband on his way and the name of the day officially becomes, "Great. I can masturbate with the volume turned up now".
2013-01-04 12:14:42 PM
2 votes:
Divorce statistics suggest he isn't alone - 68 per cent of petitions are initiated by women and just 4 per cent by men (the rest are joint).

Well, no shiat Sherlock! The woman gets half the man's stuff (at least where I live), so of course there will be extremely few divorces initiated by men. In other news, water is wet.
2013-01-04 09:11:04 PM
1 votes:

stiletto_the_wise: Divorce statistics suggest he isn't alone - 68 per cent of petitions are initiated by women and just 4 per cent by men (the rest are joint).

Well, no shiat Sherlock! The woman gets half the man's stuff (at least where I live), so of course there will be extremely few divorces initiated by men. In other news, water is wet.


Divorced two husbands. Left with nothing but my own stuff (even left them the houses). I do have my kid but I've been giving the child support BACK for a long time now. I can take care of my child and I can take care of myself. So bite me, Ogre.
2013-01-04 03:52:16 PM
1 votes:

ObscureNameHere: Nice to see you put your own happiness and needs in front of your children's emotional well being. Bra-vo.


It's rough on the kids, but I have a lot of trouble believing it's rougher than spending their youth with their only example of a relationship being two miserable people who genuinely hate each others' guts.
2013-01-04 02:46:51 PM
1 votes:

doczoidberg: I don't think I can get out of this one as easily as the last. Looks like I've squandered all of my "get away with it" cards. Leaving this chick is going to be painful.


Dude, I remember why you were going to leave, and just----do it. Don't turn into all the bitter farking losers that lurk around here, who should have left years ago but didn't for some reason, and now their only reason for living is so they can fling poo at every woman on earth, and make rape jokes.

You're better off just cutting the ties and cleaning up the mess now, than turning into some of the fine examples of manhood I've seen around Fark.

/funny, my divorce didn't do that to me. And I guarantee it was much worse than most of yours were.
2013-01-04 01:19:33 PM
1 votes:

AncientLurker: ObscureNameHere: /kids get two christmas'

Nice to see you put your own happiness and needs in front of your children's emotional well being. Bra-vo

You are absolutely right. I should have raised the kids until adulthood in a home with two parents that hate each other. That way they could learn what it is like to have a good model for their own relationships when they grow up, as opposed to a dysfunctional cluster-fark. I can tell you from experience that it is awful for the kids to be raised by two single, happy parents, because god knows demonstrating to your kids that staying in a shiat relationship isn't as important as having two parents.

/let me guess, your parents divorced when you were young so you are incapable of seeing divorce from an adult/parents prospective.

//my well adjusted and happy kids told me to tell you to diaf.


My grandparents were married over 65+ years until my grandma's death.
My parents have been married over 45 years.
I have been married over 17 years.

My well adjusted and somehwat happy background informs that there many selfish dickweeds who get divorced for selfish bullshiate reasons. People who perhaps did not have a real-world example of what a long-term marriage looks like, so as soon as things gott 'difficult' they decided their personal happiness was bigger than the family life they built. Rather than re-committting and re-building, they give up because, hey, you HAVE to be HAPPY 100% of the time, right?

But don't let your self-validating narcissim alter your justification of your life decisions.
2013-01-04 01:11:55 PM
1 votes:

ObscureNameHere: /kids get two christmas'

Nice to see you put your own happiness and needs in front of your children's emotional well being. Bra-vo


You are absolutely right. I should have raised the kids until adulthood in a home with two parents that hate each other. That way they could learn what it is like to have a good model for their own relationships when they grow up, as opposed to a dysfunctional cluster-fark. I can tell you from experience that it is awful for the kids to be raised by two single, happy parents, because god knows demonstrating to your kids that staying in a shiat relationship isn't as important as having two parents.

/let me guess, your parents divorced when you were young so you are incapable of seeing divorce from an adult/parents prospective.

//my well adjusted and happy kids told me to tell you to diaf.
2013-01-04 01:05:05 PM
1 votes:
If you're in a bad marriage, don't spawn. Children do best with two functioning adults to raise them. If you're dumb enough to think a child will save your marriage, do the world a favor and put a bullet through your skull.
2013-01-04 12:44:59 PM
1 votes:
See, getting the divorce after the new year allows you to file as 'married' on last years taxes. Saving big bucks in most cases.

/you spend the savings on the divorce.
//happily married.
2013-01-04 12:39:43 PM
1 votes:
robbiex0r:

men tend to put outbursts down to feminine over-sensitivity or they simply can't understand why such a minor issue has caused so much fury and soon forget about it.

If one half of the people involved in the dispute think it's minor and forget about it, maybe it is, and the other party should just STFU and deal with why they feel the need to keep beating a dead horse.
2013-01-04 12:37:26 PM
1 votes:

CapeFearCadaver: How come the women get three negative adjectives while the men only get one, Subby?


Because the entire article beats up on men, with such gems as:

Men are emotionally ill-equipped to deal with this, because the one person they always turn to for advice - their wife - is unavailable.

and

they often fail to keep an eye on the health of their marriage.

and

men tend to put outbursts down to feminine over-sensitivity or they simply can't understand why such a minor issue has caused so much fury and soon forget about it.

The whole article is rather misandric and insulting.

/men are like dis
//women are like dis
2013-01-04 12:31:58 PM
1 votes:
Come to think of it, I did have to talk to my ex yesterday... I finally got to tell her, "Fark you Biatch. I don't have to do a damn thing you tell me to do..".

God, it was cathartic....
2013-01-04 12:28:35 PM
1 votes:
Today's the most popular day for women to file for divorce, so... Why can't husbands see when wives stop loving them?

Because that's the way she's acted from the moment he signed the marriage contract?
2013-01-04 12:27:40 PM
1 votes:
The 3 stages of "marital relations:"

1) Kitchen sex. Anytime; anyplace.

2) Bedroom sex. Once things start to cool down. And then,

3) Hallway sex. You pass each other in the hall, scowl and mumble, "fark you."
2013-01-04 12:22:46 PM
1 votes:

CapeFearCadaver: How come the women get three negative adjectives while the men only get one, Subby?


You sound like a nagging, harpy shrew. Probably can't make a decent sammich either.
2013-01-04 12:15:45 PM
1 votes:
Let's hear it for those smart enough to live off of some strange(I call it "some random"), rather than getting married in the first place.
2013-01-04 12:14:40 PM
1 votes:
Divorce is one of the best gifts you can give yourself. Sure, it's expensive, traumatic and painful,brutal, rough on the kids, destroys your life, leaves you with nothing, takes years to attain, but in the end you don't have to wake up next to your wife anymore.

/kids get two christmas'
2013-01-04 12:05:43 PM
1 votes:

CapeFearCadaver: How come the women get three negative adjectives while the men only get one, Subby?


How come you aren't more accepting of same sex marriages?
2013-01-04 09:54:44 AM
1 votes:
How come the women get three negative adjectives while the men only get one, Subby?
 
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