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(Daily Mail)   So it turns out January 3rd was the most popular day for couples to file for divorce. January 4th is also a landmark day, generally known as "I've finally got that nagging harpy shrew/asshole off my back, now it's time to find some strange" Day   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 107
    More: Interesting, Maidstone  
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5550 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jan 2013 at 12:02 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-04 06:34:21 PM  
As a kid of divorce, let me tell you, the relief when you are no longer living in a war zone outweighs the tragedy of break up. What matters then is how well the parents behave. No matter how much you hate your ex, s/he is half that kid, and when you run them down, you run down half of that kid, and their conflicted loyalties burn. Don't do that. Be nice to your ex in front of the kids, even if they aren't. Kids notice that, and when they grow up a bit, realise who the real 'good parent' is.

/ have divorced, never said a bad word about him in front of the kids. Not anywhere they can hear. Now, away form them..well, I vent.
// happy now. Best revenge. Stay classy, rise above fray, find happiness. Drives them nuts as a side benefit;)
 
2013-01-04 07:32:04 PM  

ObscureNameHere: AncientLurker: ObscureNameHere: But don't let your self-validating narcissim alter your justification of your life decisions

so what you are saying is that based on your experience, no one ever marries the wrong person, or people don't change or treat each other poorly during a marriage. You just keep working at it, even after a couple of years of marriage counselors you keep moving forward insuring everyone in the family is miserable, becuase it is the marriage that is important and not the well being of everyone involved. It might just be that your experience is different than other peoples, and that you are being sanctimonious.

Perhaps. This is FARK after all.

Yes, marriage can be a grind. But people can get through it. Maybe not you. And if there is actual abuse involved by one party or the other then yes, it should be ended. Sorry if I was harsh. But yes, I do believe the family I have built is a more important entity than any measure of my personal happiness / fulfillment.

But I have heard from more than one set of divorcees that "They didn't think the kids would take it so hard", and it my make my -- perhaps sanctimonius -- blood boil. The 'family' unit is the ENTIRE WORLD to a child. The amount of stress and anxiety over the dismantling of the primary reference to world order for child is more than 'rough'. It is an unravelling of almost all of their self-identity. And the reason some parents inflict this on their kids? "Oh, well, we just became different people."

So...fark all the lazy divorcees with their self-entitlement issues. Those who fret and clutch their pearls about what the kids might go through, but decide to make them go through it anways so everyone can be 'happy'. And the lesson to the kids? When life gets tough, quit and run away.


THIS!

My boyfriend and I are from completely different backgrounds. He's an all-American boy and grandson of a Texas oil tycoon. I'm from an immigrant family from Asian.

His story: His parents married after they divorced their respective spouses, who happened to be siblings. Things were ok for a bit, but when the bf was aged 5 his mom caught his dad cheating and he dropped her like a rock and married the broad that he was cheating on her with. His mom raised him as a single parent in the very poor part of town, while every two weeks he went to visit his dad in the very rich side of town (His dad didn't want to have anything to do with his son, but his rich relatives forced him to at least get visitation rights). Needless to day, it's left my bf scarred. He hated his stepmom and her looser children and after his dad died when he was 15, had nothing more to do with his father's family (save for his Oil Tycoon grandfather, who treats him very well.)

My story: Dad got stationed in the US and brought mom and I over when I was 3. He got called to war and Mom and I had to stay with various relatives around the US until he came home. When he did, mom found out that he had been seeing this woman in San Diego and fathered a freaking son with her. They assume I don't remember since I was 4 years old, but that argument they had was earthshattering. I remember being so terribly afraid that mom and dad were going to leave each other, but I pretended nothing was wrong, playing with my dolls and singing songs trying very hard not to cry.
The divorce never happened and mom and dad stuck together (although I found out later they still payed child support to the woman on the condition that she leave them alone). Mom and dad continued to have problems but nothing that they didn't work out together like adults.

I'm not saying that I came out the better person, but I did have a much happier childhood with an intact family. Dad and mom get along well now, and my sisters and I are grateful that we have a stable family.
 
2013-01-04 07:54:11 PM  

ng2810: ObscureNameHere: AncientLurker: ObscureNameHere: But don't let your self-validating narcissim alter your justification of your life decisions

so what you are saying is that based on your experience, no one ever marries the wrong person, or people don't change or treat each other poorly during a marriage. You just keep working at it, even after a couple of years of marriage counselors you keep moving forward insuring everyone in the family is miserable, becuase it is the marriage that is important and not the well being of everyone involved. It might just be that your experience is different than other peoples, and that you are being sanctimonious.

Perhaps. This is FARK after all.

Yes, marriage can be a grind. But people can get through it. Maybe not you. And if there is actual abuse involved by one party or the other then yes, it should be ended. Sorry if I was harsh. But yes, I do believe the family I have built is a more important entity than any measure of my personal happiness / fulfillment.

But I have heard from more than one set of divorcees that "They didn't think the kids would take it so hard", and it my make my -- perhaps sanctimonius -- blood boil. The 'family' unit is the ENTIRE WORLD to a child. The amount of stress and anxiety over the dismantling of the primary reference to world order for child is more than 'rough'. It is an unravelling of almost all of their self-identity. And the reason some parents inflict this on their kids? "Oh, well, we just became different people."

So...fark all the lazy divorcees with their self-entitlement issues. Those who fret and clutch their pearls about what the kids might go through, but decide to make them go through it anways so everyone can be 'happy'. And the lesson to the kids? When life gets tough, quit and run away.

THIS!

My boyfriend and I are from completely different backgrounds. He's an all-American boy and grandson of a Texas oil tycoon. I'm from an immigrant family from Asian.
...


I think people may be misunderstanding the reason for the rage in the initial post. I THINK what the original poster was trying to get at is the issues that CAN be worked out should be attempted to be worked out first. Stupid reasons like "S/he nags me, s/he doesn't talk to me at all, we have no time for each other because of work/the kids, I'm bored, etc." I think are what issues the poster was referring to as far as people being lazy and taking the easy way out of a marriage. Major issues like infidelity, money, verbal and physical abuse, and deciding to have kids are life altering events that have a huge impact unlike someone just being a complainer or not putting in effort. I could be wrong, but this is the impression I got.
 
2013-01-04 08:14:58 PM  

DROxINxTHExWIND: generally known as "I've finally got that nagging harpy shrew/asshole off my back, now it's time to find some strange" Day

It's only called that until about 10:30pm, Subby. At about 10:30 on that first night is when the guy looks around the bar and realizes, "damn, there's a reason I stopped coming here". He hasn't been in so long that the cute little bartender he used to flirt with is now a married mother of three who has been replaced by some guy who won't even acknowledge him while he's waiting to get a drink. The skanks all look to be about the same age as his niece who recently graduated college and he doens't really know how to approach them because he doesn't remember his Twitter handle and they don't remember the Soup Nazi episode of Seinfeld. After listening intently to the conversations of the patrons next to him he FINALLY realizes what YOLO means. But he unfortunately tries to incorporate it into a pick-up line, telling a young girl that "you only LOVE once" and he becomes a bit of a laughing stock because the guys standing near him overheard it. He realizes that this scene isn't for him anymore and as he walks to the door a guy calls out to grab his attention. The guy is leaning against the bar with the young lady rubbing her ass against him and he says, "bar chics don't love once. Most of them don't even love one at a time. Lol". The sting of the mocking laughter sends the former husband on his way and the name of the day officially becomes, "Great. I can masturbate with the volume turned up now".


Have you been stalking me?

/I'll be huddled in the corner sobbing
 
2013-01-04 09:11:04 PM  

stiletto_the_wise: Divorce statistics suggest he isn't alone - 68 per cent of petitions are initiated by women and just 4 per cent by men (the rest are joint).

Well, no shiat Sherlock! The woman gets half the man's stuff (at least where I live), so of course there will be extremely few divorces initiated by men. In other news, water is wet.


Divorced two husbands. Left with nothing but my own stuff (even left them the houses). I do have my kid but I've been giving the child support BACK for a long time now. I can take care of my child and I can take care of myself. So bite me, Ogre.
 
2013-01-04 09:31:51 PM  
68 per cent of petitions are initiated by women and just 4 per cent by men (the rest are joint).

Wonder what the US stats are (haven't gotten thru the entire thread yet, so someone may have posted them) Anyway. My theory on the stats is this: Men just cheat and stay married. Women catch their cheating husbands and file immediately, or reach that breaking point one day and have a moment of clarity and just do it. Not saying that women don't have affairs or don't get caught having affairs, but I think that women just have much more of a hair trigger reaction to their husbands fooling around on them. In this way, men are maybe a bit more forgiving/understanding/patient/etc.

/yeah, I'm the one who filed, not the ex
//he was cheating on me and I caught him because he wasn't smart enough to lock his computer
///living in sin for the win!
 
2013-01-04 10:50:24 PM  

Orgasmatron138: I'm going to guess that getting some strange led to a lot of these divorces.


I see you've met my wife. On Christmas.
 
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