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(AZ Family)   You know your apartment has a bedbug problem when you can scoop up spoonfuls of them from your couch. "We've already thrown away 10 couches"   (azfamily.com ) divider line 27
    More: Sick, mesa, 3TV  
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13884 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jan 2013 at 3:42 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-01-04 12:45:07 AM  
9 votes:

cretinbob: farking sanitation, how does it work?


Bedbugs don't eat dirt, or skin flakes, or spilled cheetos. They only crave blood. And if you live in an apartment it doesn't matter how well you look after your own suite, because they will come through the walls (via electrical outlets or water pipes) and under your door from across the hallway.

Those bugs are out there. They can't be bargained with. They can't be reasoned with. They don't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And they absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are itching like a motherfarker.
2013-01-04 04:25:36 AM  
7 votes:
t0.gstatic.com

We're gonna need a bigger couch.
2013-01-04 03:15:41 AM  
4 votes:

hammettman: The easiest way to get rid of bedbugs is to import some spiders. Oodles and oodles of farking spiders. Of course, that may present another problem when all is said and done.


We're talking about Arizona....do you really want black widows and tarantulas all over your apartment?  And then you have to bring in a bunch of gila monsters to get rid of the spiders, and then gorillas to get rid of the gila monsters.
2013-01-04 02:38:30 AM  
3 votes:
The easiest way to get rid of bedbugs is to import some spiders. Oodles and oodles of farking spiders. Of course, that may present another problem when all is said and done.
2013-01-04 09:33:43 AM  
2 votes:

havana_joe:

They cannot jump, you're thinking of fleas... However, bedbugs have been known to crawl up walls and onto the ceiling and then drop onto the bed...


You're thinking of koalas.
2013-01-04 08:09:31 AM  
2 votes:
Costco has a 10 pack on couches.
2013-01-04 06:03:56 AM  
2 votes:

Plant Rights Activist: Why would you throw them out!? Donate them to goodwill for the tax writeoff!


yeah - bed bugs for the poor!
2013-01-04 05:01:10 AM  
2 votes:

camaroash: inclemency: camaroash: I'd give the daughter a place to live.

No bedbugs in Utah.

Yet.

-9F right now and just getting started with the cold months.
Scorching summers.
Incredibly dry year-round.
It's not a hospitable environment. They can't establish themselves.

Mosquitoes, on the other hand...


Yeah, because it's every girl's dream to go live in Utah with some internet creeper who saw her in a news report about her bedbug issue.
2013-01-04 04:09:23 AM  
2 votes:

The_Sponge: hammettman: The easiest way to get rid of bedbugs is to import some spiders. Oodles and oodles of farking spiders. Of course, that may present another problem when all is said and done.

We're talking about Arizona....do you really want black widows and tarantulas all over your apartment?  And then you have to bring in a bunch of gila monsters to get rid of the spiders, and then gorillas to get rid of the gila monsters.


Unfortunately, Mesa doesn't have the cold winters to kill the gorillas.
2013-01-04 03:49:42 AM  
2 votes:
i391.photobucket.com

And if that doesn't work

i391.photobucket.com
2013-01-04 03:28:43 AM  
2 votes:

Farxist Marxist: Farkin' frankenbugs. I'm moving to Australia, where the beasts kill you somewhat quickly ('cept those blue-ringed octopus, in which case it's not quick enough) rather than some bug that bleeds you white, won't get off the sofa, and can hide in the remote control.


Don't worry, we've got them here too.  http://www.abc.net.au/news/2011-02-10/australia-facing-bedbug-invasio n /1938492

A friend of mine had them in her apartment in a well-to-do part of Sydney. In the end, she pretty much abandoned everything she owned, went slightly psycho and sat in a sauna for three hours (something about the heat killing the farkers as she thought they had got into her skin) and would only wear newly bought clothes. She then began to haunt non-bedbug-infested suburbs looking for a new place to stay, bug spray in hand. Poor girl is from London and last I heard she had returned, only to face the evil once more.

/And those bugs that bleed you white, won't get off the sofa and can hide in the remote control? They're known as men down here.
2013-01-04 02:56:02 AM  
2 votes:
Farkin' frankenbugs. I'm moving to Australia, where the beasts kill you somewhat quickly ('cept those blue-ringed octopus, in which case it's not quick enough) rather than some bug that bleeds you white, won't get off the sofa, and can hide in the remote control.
2013-01-03 11:54:14 PM  
2 votes:
I seriously thought that said "crotch."
2013-01-04 01:40:22 PM  
1 vote:
insidiousclothing.com
2013-01-04 11:20:09 AM  
1 vote:
www.greatdreams.com
2013-01-04 09:05:36 AM  
1 vote:
"The landlords just aren't taking care of the problem," Amy said.
"It doesn't seem relevant or important enough for them to do something about it," added Missi Finlay, who lives upstairs.

OK then; why don't you put those spoonfuls of bedbugs in envelopes and mail them to the landlords. That might make them realize that yes, there is a problem.

/...and then you get evicted?
2013-01-04 09:01:12 AM  
1 vote:

HaywoodJablonski: I hate everyone in this thread. As far as I know, I've never seen a bedbug


Sounds like we all should be hating you.
2013-01-04 08:52:17 AM  
1 vote:

The_Sponge: We're talking about Arizona....do you really want black widows and tarantulas all over your apartment? And then you have to bring in a bunch of gila monsters to get rid of the spiders, and then gorillas to get rid of the gila monsters.


And then gojiras to get rid of the gorillas, and then tiny little asian women in a box to entreat a giant moth god to get rid of the gojiras. And then a humungous lightbulb to get rid of the moth god...

/ It never ends!
2013-01-04 07:26:46 AM  
1 vote:
cdn.blisstree.com
♫A spoonful of bedbugs helps the vomit go down, the vomit go down...♪
2013-01-04 06:46:04 AM  
1 vote:

dervish16108: I'm trying to figure out exactly how to use diatamaceous earth powder for bedbug extermination.

If the apartment is empty, do you cover every square inch of the floor, or do you leave a bed and/or sofa and cover a 20 feet floor radius with DE (considering bedbugs jump 20 feet or so)?


Actually I've heard they can jump up to 20 miles.
2013-01-04 05:48:00 AM  
1 vote:
Maybe if 007 came in to case the joint, you know make sure it's bug free.
2013-01-04 04:45:38 AM  
1 vote:

camaroash: I'd give the daughter a place to live.

No bedbugs in Utah.


Yet.
2013-01-04 04:03:16 AM  
1 vote:

Kingly Weevil: My real question here is, How the f*ck do you afford ten couches before you can afford to leave your f*cking apartment?


Probably found them on the street left for trash pickup. Because they were infested with bedbugs.
2013-01-04 03:46:02 AM  
1 vote:
Why would you throw them out!? Donate them to goodwill for the tax writeoff!
2013-01-04 12:01:38 AM  
1 vote:
My real question here is, How the f*ck do you afford ten couches before you can afford to leave your f*cking apartment?
2013-01-03 11:50:40 PM  
1 vote:
Maricopa County

Get sheriff Joe on it!
2013-01-03 09:41:41 PM  
1 vote:
I recommend fire, and lots of it. Hate those little bastards.
 
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