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(Sun News Network)   Poking holes in your girlfriend's condoms? That's a jailin   (sunnewsnetwork.ca) divider line 28
    More: Dumbass, black holes, Nova Scotia, girlfriend  
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20649 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jan 2013 at 8:07 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-01-03 08:14:37 PM
8 votes:
If your girlfriend is wearing the condom, holes are the least of your concerns.
2013-01-03 10:10:18 PM
6 votes:
media.philly.com


You shag her anal doggie style, all that frothy sperm laden fluid is going to eventually head south and could enter the gai-gai so your risk of pregnancy still exists. Sorry to ruin the myth that anal was the only effective method that was 100% effective.

-Mark Twain
2013-01-03 08:28:48 PM
6 votes:
Daddy sells condoms to sailors
Momma pokes holes with a pin
Sister performs the abortions
Good Lord how the money rolls in!
2013-01-03 09:19:55 PM
4 votes:
scrapetv.com
2013-01-03 08:28:39 PM
4 votes:

pxlboy: sycraft: taurusowner: And if she did it to him? That's a child supportin'

Sad thing is you are probably correct. She wouldn't get charged with any crime, the courts would say "Well it was your fault for having a kid," and he'd get to support it for the next 21 years.

Pretty much this.


That's why I make them sign my penis EULA, which forbids "generation or addition of dependents or beneficiaries."
2013-01-03 09:02:22 PM
3 votes:
Add me to the "shoots blanks" crowd.  At 24.  There was a waiting period, much like buying a gun, except I was trying to return the ammo.
2013-01-03 08:22:43 PM
3 votes:

Chabash: If she consented to sex, she consented to all the dangers. Condoms aren't 100%...


That's what, 3 or 4 kilopalins on the stupid scale?
2013-01-03 09:32:52 PM
2 votes:

OgreMagi: pxlboy: desertfool: Off topic, but Mrs Fool has been on the pill for years. I've been thinking about getting snipped so there are no little Fools. Any advice/cautions/tales that I need to know about?

Get an "athletic supporter", shave your sack the morning of, and have someone to drive you to and from. Keep the ice on it, take the pills for pain as needed.

Wait until it heals.

After that, going bareback without the fear of pregnancy. It is every bit as awesome as you think it would be.

It's been years since I've gone bareback despite having the vasectomy because pregnancy isn't the worse thing that can happen these days.

What's it like?


secondnaturearomatics.com
2013-01-03 08:37:44 PM
2 votes:

Bathysphere: So glad I use the Patch. Verifiable proof of birth control.


I still wouldn't trust it 100%. You may have forgotten to replace it when it expires. Or gotten it confused with a nicotine patch. Most women I date are too stupid to tell the difference.

Nope, the best birth control is anal sex. No chance of her saving it under her toungue and freezing it for later you get with oral, and tighter than pussy usually. Best of both worlds.
2013-01-03 08:25:44 PM
2 votes:

Ed Grubermann: Chabash: If she consented to sex, she consented to all the dangers. Condoms aren't 100%...

That's what, 3 or 4 kilopalins on the stupid scale?


I think you're a few orders of magnitude off. Maybe decapalin bordering on a hectopalin, but if there were ever a kilopalin event, none of us would be here anymore.
2013-01-03 08:11:50 PM
2 votes:
And if she did it to him? That's a child supportin'
2013-01-03 11:26:54 PM
1 votes:
Hmm.

So chicks who lie about being on the pill, or who promise and then fail to get abortions are guilty of "sexual assault" now. Of course this would relieve all men so victimized free of any and all liability.

Hmm.


/At least in Nova Scotia
//If the courts are just
///If


////Fourth slashie (stealth)
2013-01-03 10:42:08 PM
1 votes:

steerforth: moonage daydream: Is this the thread where white American males act so disenfranchised and persecuted?

No, this is the thread where white American males talk about their preference for anal while typing one-handed as they clutch their Real Dolls tightly to their heaving man-boobs, take a quick diversion into their bull-dyke lesbian fantasies and only then do they give way to their disenfranchisement and persecution complexes.

In other words, every day on Fark.


You just jealous because you are late to the party and all the good shiat has been riffed on already. You are frustrated because you will get no LOLs, lulz, or snicker-doodles from this thread no matter how hard you try. It might as well be dead to you. I pity you really. But take heart, there will always be other threads you can go and try and be the first to talk about how much you secretly love anal. Just keep refreshing that homepage.
2013-01-03 10:12:05 PM
1 votes:

moonage daydream: Is this the thread where white American males act so disenfranchised and persecuted?


No, this is the thread where white American males talk about their preference for anal while typing one-handed as they clutch their Real Dolls tightly to their heaving man-boobs, take a quick diversion into their bull-dyke lesbian fantasies and only then do they give way to their disenfranchisement and persecution complexes.

In other words, every day on Fark.
2013-01-03 09:35:25 PM
1 votes:

Bisu: Cymbal: The pussy should really be the third favorite hole. So much less pregnancy risk with the other two.

If you only think there's three viable holes you're really missing out...


Well I'm strictly speaking as someone who has a larger than average penis. Maybe if I had a smaller one I'd feel more comfortable about venturing into these other holes you speak of, and inquiring about their whereabouts.
2013-01-03 09:23:57 PM
1 votes:

Tumunga: The Irresponsible Captain:





It would be an asshole baby?


LOL. You stupid or something? The other hole is the vagina.

Default is the ass, always.
2013-01-03 09:03:11 PM
1 votes:

MemeSlave: UsikFark: Bisu: LeroyBourne: ultraholland: JasonOfOrillia: Mistake #1: committing the crime.
Mistake #2: admitting to the crime in a verifiable manner.

Mistake #3: Being so farking unstable that any of this seemed like a good idea.

I've heard of guys say they'd knock up a chick to trap them, like they're some kind of perfect catch.  Ahhhh, now that's some high caliber dumb right there.

The whole abortion thing kind of makes that only work when the woman does it to the man.

Fun fact: some women do not realize they are pregnant until the baby is actually coming out. There are (claimed) cases where a woman has given birth during sleep.

I'll leave it to you to imagine the type to not readily show/recognize the signs of pregnancy.


Yeah, cover up her face. I'll never recognize Jabba the Hutt Rollin down the street in her amigo.
2013-01-03 09:02:20 PM
1 votes:

Cymbal: Bathysphere: Cymbal: Bathysphere: So glad I use the Patch. Verifiable proof of birth control.

I still wouldn't trust it 100%. You may have forgotten to replace it when it expires. Or gotten it confused with a nicotine patch. Most women I date are too stupid to tell the difference.

Nope, the best birth control is anal sex. No chance of her saving it under her toungue and freezing it for later you get with oral, and tighter than pussy usually. Best of both worlds.

That is weird and you should feel weird.

That's cool, I get off on feeling weird. But I got to say, anal with a girl doesn't make me feel weird. Feels pretty damn good actually.


How can you tell it's a girl? What if you're doing it, and that girl you think your reaming turns loose of her bag, and your nuts bang together like two porcelain cups?
2013-01-03 09:02:01 PM
1 votes:
Is this the thread where white American males act so disenfranchised and persecuted?
2013-01-03 08:58:00 PM
1 votes:
The pussy should really be the third favorite hole. So much less pregnancy risk with the other two.

Quite frankly I'd rather deal with a few teeth marks and a little poopy dick from time to time than a screaming baby, abortion payments or child support, but that's just me.
2013-01-03 08:48:13 PM
1 votes:

Cymbal: taurusowner: Every week or 2 a thread like this comes around and makes me even more glad I got a vasectomy.

Aren't you worried that all that sperm will buildup over time and become a super volcanoe like the one under Yellowstone?

This is the stuff that keeps me up at night
.


Giggity
2013-01-03 08:46:09 PM
1 votes:

Cymbal: taurusowner: Every week or 2 a thread like this comes around and makes me even more glad I got a vasectomy.

Aren't you worried that all that sperm will buildup over time and become a super volcanoe like the one under Yellowstone?

This is the stuff that keeps me up at night.


I LOLd
2013-01-03 08:45:16 PM
1 votes:

taurusowner: Every week or 2 a thread like this comes around and makes me even more glad I got a vasectomy.


Aren't you worried that all that sperm will buildup over time and become a super volcanoe like the one under Yellowstone?

This is the stuff that keeps me up at night.
2013-01-03 08:45:12 PM
1 votes:

UsikFark: Bisu: LeroyBourne: ultraholland: JasonOfOrillia: Mistake #1: committing the crime.
Mistake #2: admitting to the crime in a verifiable manner.

Mistake #3: Being so farking unstable that any of this seemed like a good idea.

I've heard of guys say they'd knock up a chick to trap them, like they're some kind of perfect catch.  Ahhhh, now that's some high caliber dumb right there.

The whole abortion thing kind of makes that only work when the woman does it to the man.

Fun fact: some women do not realize they are pregnant until the baby is actually coming out. There are (claimed) cases where a woman has given birth during sleep.

I'll leave it to you to imagine the type to not readily show/recognize the signs of pregnancy.


decentcommunity.files.wordpress.com
2013-01-03 08:44:24 PM
1 votes:

Cymbal: Bathysphere: So glad I use the Patch. Verifiable proof of birth control.

I still wouldn't trust it 100%. You may have forgotten to replace it when it expires. Or gotten it confused with a nicotine patch. Most women I date are too stupid to tell the difference.

Nope, the best birth control is anal sex. No chance of her saving it under her toungue and freezing it for later you get with oral, and tighter than pussy usually. Best of both worlds.


That is weird and you should feel weird.
2013-01-03 08:42:03 PM
1 votes:

UsikFark: pxlboy: sycraft: taurusowner: And if she did it to him? That's a child supportin'

Sad thing is you are probably correct. She wouldn't get charged with any crime, the courts would say "Well it was your fault for having a kid," and he'd get to support it for the next 21 years.

Pretty much this.

That's why I make them sign my penis EULA, which forbids "generation or addition of dependents or beneficiaries."


"By inserting this, you hereby agree to the following terms..."

/...GIVING UP THE RIGHT TO PARTICIPATE IN AS A PARTY OR CLASS MEMBER ALL DISPUTES IN COURT BEFORE A JUDGE OR JURY.
2013-01-03 08:41:00 PM
1 votes:

UsikFark: Bisu: LeroyBourne: ultraholland: JasonOfOrillia: Mistake #1: committing the crime.
Mistake #2: admitting to the crime in a verifiable manner.

Mistake #3: Being so farking unstable that any of this seemed like a good idea.

I've heard of guys say they'd knock up a chick to trap them, like they're some kind of perfect catch.  Ahhhh, now that's some high caliber dumb right there.

The whole abortion thing kind of makes that only work when the woman does it to the man.

Fun fact: some women do not realize they are pregnant until the baby is actually coming out. There are (claimed) cases where a woman has given birth during sleep.

I'll leave it to you to imagine the type to not readily show/recognize the signs of pregnancy.


I'm guessing those guys were in the wrong fold.
2013-01-03 08:16:35 PM
1 votes:
"A Nova Scotia man who pricked holes in his girlfriend's condoms..."

well, duh...
 
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