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(Florida Today)   Man sticks a $1.29 Honey Bun down his pants which in turn cost him $1,000.00 to bail out of jail. No word on the condition of the sticky Honey Bun   (floridatoday.com) divider line 85
    More: Florida, Iced Honey Bun, rescues, jail  
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2747 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jan 2013 at 2:07 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-03 01:15:03 PM
Mugshot of the accused:

fc04.deviantart.net
 
2013-01-03 02:08:17 PM
Stickier.
 
2013-01-03 02:09:11 PM
He was being held on $1,001.29 bond

Judge be trollin'.
 
2013-01-03 02:09:36 PM
I'm not saying the boy is a lazy thief. But if you can't gather up enough empty cans for a honey bun, if you want one, then you are one lazy thief, and probably deserve what ever as whooping you get from a clerk. If he stuffs your broken ass in a dumpster, unconscious just before the truck arrives, tuff luck, you lazy thief.
 
2013-01-03 02:10:30 PM
They said he was riding a black bicycle, THATS RACIST....THATS BICYCLE PROFILING!!

/Q's the ACLU, Sharpton, and all the other race baiting trolls out there to come partake of the limelight goodness.
 
2013-01-03 02:11:35 PM
Don't ask what he did with the coconuts

arlenestage.homestead.com
 
2013-01-03 02:11:47 PM
imagemacros.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-01-03 02:12:31 PM
Too bad he didn't stick a $2 billion toxic CDO down his pants.  He would have gotten a bonus.
 
2013-01-03 02:13:48 PM

Kibbler: Too bad he didn't stick a $2 billion toxic CDO down his pants.  He would have gotten a bonus.


24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-01-03 02:17:15 PM
I don't know why but this always bugged me. You don't just pay your bail to a court like a fee.Its just money they hold to make sure you come back for trial. you get that money back. also the amount of bail isn't in direct proportion to the severity of your crime. its based on how big a flight risk you are.
 
2013-01-03 02:17:58 PM
The bun was unfrosted until after it went into his pants.

CAN'T EXPLAIN THAT
 
2013-01-03 02:18:00 PM
FTFA: "The Honey Bun was not found."

*snirk*
 
2013-01-03 02:18:14 PM

tricycleracer: He was being held on $1,001.29 bond

Judge be trollin'.



Amendment VIII
Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.
 
2013-01-03 02:22:41 PM

Amos Quito: tricycleracer: He was being held on $1,001.29 bond

Judge be trollin'.


Amendment VIII
Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.


Yep. Doesn't say anything about the judge getting some lulz.
 
2013-01-03 02:27:11 PM
I'd say that bun was pretty well f*cked.
 
2013-01-03 02:27:35 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-01-03 02:29:02 PM
So the man made a Honey Boo-Boo?
 
2013-01-03 02:29:50 PM
So this kid is going to get a police record for a $1.29 item? Doesn't that just go to small claims? Do we really need to waste court time for petty theft? I know everyone would do it if there wasn't a fine but jesus.
 
2013-01-03 02:32:53 PM
Honey Buns are huge in prison -- http://thankyoufornotlaughing.com/2012/11/21/here-is-why-the-national- currency-might-soon-be-honey-buns-snack-cakes/
 
2013-01-03 02:32:54 PM

vudukungfu: I'm not saying the boy is a lazy thief. But if you can't gather up enough empty cans for a honey bun, if you want one, then you are one lazy thief, and probably deserve what ever as whooping you get from a clerk. If he stuffs your broken ass in a dumpster, unconscious just before the truck arrives, tuff luck, you lazy thief.


Break Random Law X and you deserve whatever comes your way regardless of how it effects society as a whole.

That's the kind of attitude that'll turn this country around.
 
2013-01-03 02:33:24 PM
I signed a complaint once for a 15 cent can of generic lime soda. I kid you not. Where I work has zero tolerance for theft.
 
2013-01-03 02:35:02 PM

TNel: So this kid is going to get a police record for a $1.29 item? Doesn't that just go to small claims? Do we really need to waste court time for petty theft? I know everyone would do it if there wasn't a fine but jesus.


He was NERGO.
 
2013-01-03 02:37:02 PM

TNel: So this kid is going to get a police record for a $1.29 item? Doesn't that just go to small claims? Do we really need to waste court time for petty theft? I know everyone would do it if there wasn't a fine but jesus.

Gosh, those are some very good questions! Your answers are; yes, no small claims is a civil matter this is criminal, and yes we do. Glad to be of help, come again soon.
 
2013-01-03 02:37:20 PM
I work for a large south Florida police department. There is no way in hell we would call out K-9 and set up a perimeter for a $1.29 honey bun.

And unless he ran from an officer, we wouldn't charge resisting w/o violence either.
 
2013-01-03 02:39:08 PM

Masta Kronix: Break Random Law X and you deserve whatever comes your way regardless of how it effects society as a whole.

That's the kind of attitude that'll turn this country around.


Don't let crooks and thieves set up shop in your neighborhood, or you only have yourself to blame when they are running the show.
Run them out, scare them out, fark, execute them. They'll stay away.
 
2013-01-03 02:39:26 PM

Gyrfalcon: Amos Quito: tricycleracer: He was being held on $1,001.29 bond

Judge be trollin'.


Amendment VIII
Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

Yep. Doesn't say anything about the judge getting some lulz.



Yeah. He should have added sales tax.

That would be even funnier.
 
2013-01-03 02:39:59 PM

Dog Man: I work for a large south Florida police department. There is no way in hell we would call out K-9 and set up a perimeter for a $1.29 honey bun.

And unless he ran from an officer, we wouldn't charge resisting w/o violence either.


Pussy

Go back to eating your doughnuts.
 
2013-01-03 02:40:51 PM

TOWG: TNel: So this kid is going to get a police record for a $1.29 item? Doesn't that just go to small claims? Do we really need to waste court time for petty theft? I know everyone would do it if there wasn't a fine but jesus.
Gosh, those are some very good questions! Your answers are; yes, no small claims is a civil matter this is criminal, and yes we do. Glad to be of help, come again soon.


Hey TOWG I'd be really interested in hearing the academic research and empirical data used to determine Petty Theft is indeed "worth" the courts time and not actually a drain on resources and court time.

Please qualify and quantify that conclusion.
 
2013-01-03 02:41:57 PM

ChipNASA: TNel: So this kid is going to get a police record for a $1.29 item? Doesn't that just go to small claims? Do we really need to waste court time for petty theft? I know everyone would do it if there wasn't a fine but jesus.

He was NERGO.



Is that like a ne'er-go-well?
 
2013-01-03 02:43:52 PM

vudukungfu: Masta Kronix: Break Random Law X and you deserve whatever comes your way regardless of how it effects society as a whole.

That's the kind of attitude that'll turn this country around.

Don't let crooks and thieves set up shop in your neighborhood, or you only have yourself to blame when they are running the show.
Run them out, scare them out, fark, execute them. They'll stay away.


I know. Its just like Grand Theft Auto - San Andreas. All you have to do is kill enough people to turn the purple territory green. Amirite?

/We got an ITG in the hizzy.
 
2013-01-03 02:44:35 PM

ChipNASA: Dog Man: I work for a large south Florida police department. There is no way in hell we would call out K-9 and set up a perimeter for a $1.29 honey bun.

And unless he ran from an officer, we wouldn't charge resisting w/o violence either.

Pussy

Go back to eating your doughnuts.


Are you saying that we should tie up 4-6 officers, a sergeant, and a k-9 officer for a honey bun?

Also, resisting w/o violence requires and attempt to get away or not be handcuffed. Running from the clerk won't cut it.

Did I just trigger this thread's resident cop hater? I feel so honored.

/We don't eat donuts, we eat pastelitos.
 
2013-01-03 02:45:43 PM

vudukungfu: Masta Kronix: Break Random Law X and you deserve whatever comes your way regardless of how it effects society as a whole.

That's the kind of attitude that'll turn this country around.

Don't let crooks and thieves set up shop in your neighborhood, or you only have yourself to blame when they are running the show.
Run them out, scare them out, fark, execute them. They'll stay away.


Or you know help them become self-sufficient so they don't have to steal anymore through education and therapy.

That would be the humane thing to do if you understood the Socio-Economic impact poverty can have on communities and individuals.

People aren't born "thieves" they are created through desperation, lack of education and poverty.

Maybe if you discarded your privilege for a few minutes, read up on the subject, you'd be a little more informed and not have such a horrible and inhumane opinion of your fellow human beings.
 
2013-01-03 02:48:50 PM

Matthew Keene: I signed a complaint once for a 15 cent can of generic lime soda. I kid you not. Where I work has zero tolerance for theft.


zero tolarance = zero intelligence.

Ya call the cops because the cubical bully took yer pop? Ya ever heard of exlax? Tell yer boss first, If'n it's a policy, he could be fired. No cops required.
 
2013-01-03 02:52:32 PM

Masta Kronix: People aren't born "thieves" they are created through desperation, lack of education and poverty.

Maybe if you discarded your privilege for a few minutes, read up on the subject, you'd be a little more informed and not have such a horrible and inhumane opinion of your fellow human being


wow
you sound like Ed Asner in A Change of Habit.

As a guy who spent time homeless, and stayed fed and clothed and didn't commit a crime to get ahead, I have discarded my privilege, for more than a few minutes, too.
As far as reading psychology books, I'll leave that up to the bleeding heart libs out there.
They are the ones putting up all the methadone clinics, and paving the way to the heroin dealers here in Vermont.
 
2013-01-03 02:52:32 PM

Mikeyworld: Ya call the cops because the cubical bully took yer pop? Ya ever heard of exlax? Tell yer boss first, If'n it's a policy, he could be fired. No cops required.


Retail establishment - shoplifter -criminal complaint. Should have been clear on that. I don't make da rulez.
 
2013-01-03 02:52:35 PM

Amos Quito: ChipNASA: TNel: So this kid is going to get a police record for a $1.29 item? Doesn't that just go to small claims? Do we really need to waste court time for petty theft? I know everyone would do it if there wasn't a fine but jesus.

He was NERGO.


Is that like a ne'er-go-well?


only by assumption...

It'd be nice to call a spade a spade. Or, in my Norwegian case, a swede. Why did Olaf cross the road? He doesn't know, either
 
2013-01-03 02:57:38 PM
Oh.....BUN.

Honey BUN.

That's different. At first I thought he stuck a honey.....er.....

Nevermind.
 
2013-01-03 02:58:32 PM

vudukungfu: Masta Kronix: People aren't born "thieves" they are created through desperation, lack of education and poverty.

Maybe if you discarded your privilege for a few minutes, read up on the subject, you'd be a little more informed and not have such a horrible and inhumane opinion of your fellow human being

wow
you sound like Ed Asner in A Change of Habit.

As a guy who spent time homeless, and stayed fed and clothed and didn't commit a crime to get ahead, I have discarded my privilege, for more than a few minutes, too.
As far as reading psychology books, I'll leave that up to the bleeding heart libs out there.
They are the ones putting up all the methadone clinics, and paving the way to the heroin dealers here in Vermont.


You just admitted you don't read up on Psychology and therefore know nothing about what your discussing.

Your claiming to know more about a subject you just freely admitted you know nothing about.

Here start with this.

http://www.jrf.org.uk/system/files/2301-child-poverty-costs.pdf

shiats real and just because you don't "believe" it doesn't make it any less factual or change the fact that your opinion of your fellow human beings is inhumane and cruel.

It just means your blinding yourself to information in order to keep your idea of how the world works intact.
 
2013-01-03 02:59:50 PM
Really... If I was the manager at 7-11, I would have just let him go. For $1.29?! C'mon, man...
 
2013-01-03 03:05:32 PM
.

Masta Kronix: You just admitted you don't read up on Psychology and therefore know nothing about what your discussing.


Pretty bold statement for a one eyed fat man.
 
2013-01-03 03:08:19 PM
When I worked midnights at a Speedway station back in college, there was this old man who would come in and steal Little Debbie cupcakes around four AM every day. He'd stick two or three of them in his pocket, and just leave.

I knew he was doing it. And, you know what I did about it???

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
 
2013-01-03 03:08:21 PM

vudukungfu: . Masta Kronix: You just admitted you don't read up on Psychology and therefore know nothing about what your discussing.

Pretty bold statement for a one eyed fat man.


Came straight from your post buddy.

As far as reading psychology books, I'll leave that up to the bleeding heart libs out there.


With that one statement you dismissed the whole field of Psychology and what if offers to better society in regards to rehabilitating "criminals" as nothing more than a "Bleeding Heart Fantasy of Liberals" while confirming you haven't bothered reading anything about the subject.

Your words not mine.
 
2013-01-03 03:09:34 PM

Masta Kronix: Your words not mine.


What ever.
Just keep your junkies out of my neighborhood.
I ain't got time for that.
 
2013-01-03 03:15:48 PM

vudukungfu: Masta Kronix: Your words not mine.

What ever.
Just keep your junkies out of my neighborhood.
I ain't got time for that.


I would have hoped considering how passionate you are about the subject you would have time to educate yourself concerning how to best ensure you can keep "junkies" out of your neighborhood instead of creating worse and more dangerous "junkies"

You could probably start by stop defining a person by only one aspect of their life. Just because somebody does drugs doesn't mean their just a "junkie" and nothing more.

They are a human being who happen to be addicted to drugs. They deserve your sympathy and help, not your ire and aggression.

People don't become addicts because their happy and well adjusted and their life certainly doesn't become all rainbows and lollipops once they become an addict.

You want addicts out of your neighborhood, correct the underlying problems that cause a human being to resort to drugs in order to cope and you'll see less "junkies".
 
2013-01-03 03:16:21 PM

Dog Man: ChipNASA: Dog Man: I work for a large south Florida police department. There is no way in hell we would call out K-9 and set up a perimeter for a $1.29 honey bun.

And unless he ran from an officer, we wouldn't charge resisting w/o violence either.

Pussy

Go back to eating your doughnuts.

Are you saying that we should tie up 4-6 officers, a sergeant, and a k-9 officer for a honey bun?

Also, resisting w/o violence requires and attempt to get away or not be handcuffed. Running from the clerk won't cut it.

Did I just trigger this thread's resident cop hater? I feel so honored.

/We don't eat donuts, we eat pastelitos.


You're not a real police officer. You typed that with your pinky extended, didn't you?

Oh you want that I get the barista to warm up your latte' for you and here's a linen napkin for your pastelito.

/you're a regular Don Johnson now aren't you?
 
2013-01-03 03:18:18 PM
Did I just trigger this thread's resident cop hater? I feel so honored.

/We don't eat donuts, we eat pastelitos.

You're not a real police officer. You typed that with your pinky extended, didn't you?

Oh you want that I get the barista to warm up your latte' for you and here's a linen napkin for your pastelito.

/you're a regular Don Johnson now aren't you?


What is really funny (sarcasm meter off) is that I typed this before I looked at your profile and saw you were from Miami. I mean where the hell *ELSE* in the US are you going to get a farking pastelito????
{:-D
 
2013-01-03 03:18:27 PM

durbnpoisn: Really... If I was the manager at 7-11, I would have just let him go. For $1.29?! C'mon, man...


Some places don't allow it. Depends on the store. Some retail establishments will fire the manager for "allowing theft" if they know its happening. Bizarre but true; they'd rather prosecute for all petty crime than let a few honey buns walk out the door.
 
2013-01-03 03:18:59 PM

vudukungfu: Masta Kronix: Your words not mine.

What ever.
Just keep your junkies out of my neighborhood.
I ain't got time for that.


The correct phrase is "Ain't nobody got time for that". You're a white boy. You need to get up to speed on your Tosh.0 as soon as you pay your cable bill.
 
2013-01-03 03:19:31 PM
Truth was, it was orginally just a Danish he stuffed down his pants.

Gross...
 
2013-01-03 03:22:03 PM

Dimensio: So the man made a Honey Boo-Boo?


Came for the Honey-Boo Bun pun.Thank you.
 
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