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7321 clicks; posted to Geek » on 02 Jan 2013 at 10:12 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:    more»

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The most important thing to remember about the express lane is that you should wait until the cashier is entirely finished ringing up your purchase and bagging it, and only then should you start digging in your purse for your checkbook. And use coupons, lots of coupons.
Look, Mrs. Simpson, the express line is the fastest line not always. That old man up front, he is starved for attention, he will talk the cashier's head off.  Let's cut to... that line.

But that's the longest!

Yes, but look: all pathetic single men. Only cash, no chit-chat.

MaudlinMutantMollusk
Let's say you're in an express line with five people ahead of you and everyone has 10 items each (50 items total). In the standard line beside you, there are also five people but they all have 20 items each (60 items total).

wha?

I was going with "the fark?", but yeah.

If 5*10=50 and 5*20=60 you aren't in the express checkout, you're online shopping at zombo.com.
The problem isn't the number of items and the amount of seconds used to ring up each item. It takes longer in the express lane because 5 people will generally all use credit cards, which takes an additional 30-45 seconds to swipe and verify the card per transaction. The only time 5 people paying with cc are faster than 1 person with a large order is if the 1 person has a lot of produce or writes a check.

/no, I won't feel bad for you because you shop at walmart
Let's say you're in an express line with five people ahead of you and everyone has 10 items each (50 items total). In the standard line beside you, there are also five people but they all have 20 items each (60 items total).

wha?
 1 vote:
My Local Grocery is generally rather good with the express lane thing. However they once put "William"* on the thing. I wanted to cock-punch the manager for that scheduling. Interestingly, they also screw it up the other way sometimes. There is a cashier who is simply unreal; she can ring up a cart-full of groceries is less time than it takes me to slide my card and punch in the PIN. I have actually told the assistant manager I would be willing to accept a 10% surcharge if I could get her line every time, because the fluidity, speed, and accuracy makes checking out a pleasure. But slapping her in the express lane is wasted - she would be much better making the slower lanes move faster, rather than the meaningless gains for the express lane

* William is older than some australopithecine lineages and has a work speed that varies between continental drift and gimpy glacier. Upon complaining about taking forever to get out of the store, most of our friends will simply ask "William or Sally?"; said Sally being crazier than a shiathouse rat and apt to run off to replace an item she deems "damaged" even if one would need to use an electron microscope to detect what differentiates your "damamged" item from the Platonic Ideal - I have been held up while she did a price-check for an item I didn't ask for, and was quite happy to pay the price quoted.

/Even the Idjit Twins are better than the Wally World, where I once told my wife that I could get through a certain cashier's line quicker if I killed her, then learned actual necromancy, and raised her as a zombie.
 1 vote:
 1 vote:

utsagrad123: The Walmart by my house always has a one armed man working the speedy checkout line. That seemed cruel to me at first but he is much more efficient with that one arm that the rest of the cashiers are with two

Sounds like a step up from the on near where I used to live - I think they only hired Brazilian Three-toed Tree Sloths.
 1 vote:
TFA links to AFA about shoppers avoiding lane 13. Seriously? People do this? Wonder how they'll get through the year.
 1 vote:

shanrick: The most important thing to remember about the express lane is that you should wait until the cashier is entirely finished ringing up your purchase and bagging it, and only then should you start digging in your purse for your checkbook. And use coupons, lots of coupons.

Be sure to point out that something that you are purchasing is deficient in some way and asking where you can obtain a product more to your liking. That is what the checkout person is there for.
 1 vote:

doglover: Experience says otherwise. And unlike math, experience is based in the real world.

The shortest line is fastest not always.
 1 vote:
Let's say you're in an express line with five people ahead of you and everyone has 10 items each (50 items total). In the standard line beside you, there are also five people but they all have 20 items each (60 items total).

THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN IN THE REAL WORLD.  People in the regular lines have 100+ items, two kids in tow, fourteen hundred coupons, a checkbook, and a pen that doesn't work.  They've also just forgotten they need cat litter, so they'll "be right back" sometime next year.
 1 vote:

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Let's say you're in an express line with five people ahead of you and everyone has 10 items each (50 items total). In the standard line beside you, there are also five people but they all have 20 items each (60 items total).

wha?

Romney pollster now writing for lifehacker.

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