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(RealClearPolitics)   "I'm from the government and I'm here to help"   (realclearpolitics.com ) divider line
    More: Obvious, proximate cause, eye surgery, credit ratings, military contractor, racial minorities, right to left  
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3421 clicks; posted to Politics » on 02 Jan 2013 at 1:31 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



153 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2013-01-02 12:14:41 PM  
Thank you!  My house was just washed out to sea in a hurricane!  I'm glad you're here!
 
2013-01-02 12:30:00 PM  
That line always struck me as being very out of touch. It's basically just a call sign to wealthier people. Government does help tons of people who need their help. When you mock the very idea of that, it just reinforces the fact that those people, people who actually need help, don't exist in your worldview.
 
2013-01-02 12:43:25 PM  
img692.imageshack.us
 
2013-01-02 01:02:40 PM  

DamnYankees: That line always struck me as being very out of touch. It's basically just a call sign to wealthier people.


And stupid people.  You know, the ones who mock but the instant the shiat hits the fan in their little corner their hand is out for whatever help they can get wherever they can get it.
 
2013-01-02 01:07:54 PM  

UberDave: DamnYankees: That line always struck me as being very out of touch. It's basically just a call sign to wealthier people.

And stupid people.  You know, the ones who mock but the instant the shiat hits the fan in their little corner their hand is out for whatever help they can get wherever they can get it.


Anti-welfare queen:

img2-cdn.newser.com

Husband has received ~$150,000.00 from Medicaid

But, ooooh, those food stamp leeches make me so angry!!!!
 
2013-01-02 01:33:43 PM  
The article translated: HERPADERPADERPADERP
 
2013-01-02 01:34:10 PM  
Michael Barone predicted that Obama would lose to Romney in a landslide, and is thus an idiot who does not deserve to be taken seriously.
 
2013-01-02 01:34:36 PM  
Newsflash: The 1980s are over.
 
2013-01-02 01:35:04 PM  
Republicans - On a mission to teach us all just how bad the government sucks.
 
2013-01-02 01:36:05 PM  
I love blog posts based entirely on folksy opinions and half-remembered anecdotes. They always engender such enlightened, meaningful discussions.
 
2013-01-02 01:37:17 PM  

UberDave: DamnYankees: That line always struck me as being very out of touch. It's basically just a call sign to wealthier people.

And stupid people.  You know, the ones who mock but the instant the shiat hits the fan in their little corner their hand is out for whatever help they can get wherever they can get it.


i just figured they were chanting from the Book of Reagan.
 
2013-01-02 01:38:30 PM  
Who doesn't miss the 70s and 80s? Disco, cocaine, the Soviet Union, double-digit interest rates...
 
2013-01-02 01:39:20 PM  
Another dumb talking point cherry picking instances that agree with it.
 
2013-01-02 01:39:37 PM  
I think that's how every 911 responder should answer the phone.
 
2013-01-02 01:39:56 PM  
This!  Look at what is happening in Iraq and Afghanistan.  Nothing is going right, and you know why?  Because only the incompetent can get government jobs.  That's why these "troops" that everyone loves so much have failed to complete a very modest task which was their charge.

I'd like to ask those currently trumpeting their support for the troops a question: Have you ever actually met any of these soldiers in person? Well, I have, and believe me, they are no more impressive than any other low-level functionary of a large institution.

In all honesty, my soul swells with pride at the thought of the military-strategy papers and cost-analysis reports in which the troops are represented as numerical figures. But, as for the men and women-well, in almost every respect, they are average. Although they are no less intelligent than any other American, it is certainly fair to say they lack the ability to devise the complex strategies and tactics to manage their own divisions, much less grasp the nuanced reasons for their deployment.

It is ridiculous that my "heart" is somehow morally or ethically obliged to "go out" to the troops. In fact, had the troops not been put to productive labor by the sheer might and institutional authority of the U.S. military, a good number of them would be sitting around bars, drinking and gambling. In short, we shouldn't view the troops as objects of sympathy, because their very contribution to our society is their ability to carry out simple commands on a battlefield.

At the heart of the matter is the simple reality that these troops are just government workers doing government work so we should definitely expect failure in all of their endeavors.
 
2013-01-02 01:41:29 PM  

The Dog Ate My Homework: Newsflash: The 1980s are over.


1980s? Half of Republican voters haven't let go of the 1860s.
 
2013-01-02 01:42:22 PM  
The reason why government programs tend to cause trouble from my perspective: The original legislation, usually created by a Democrat, is amended with many poisonous measures by Republicans intended to make the program fail. Then when the program fails, the Republicans point at it and say "see, we told you that government cannot work".
 
2013-01-02 01:42:46 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-01-02 01:43:57 PM  

rev. dave: The reason why government programs tend to cause trouble from my perspective: The original legislation, usually created by a Democrat, is amended with many poisonous measures by Republicans intended to make the program fail. Then when the program fails, the Republicans point at it and say "see, we told you that government cannot work".


Don't forget about deliberate underfunding by Congressional Republicans.
 
2013-01-02 01:44:30 PM  
Wow, what a turd of an article.
 
2013-01-02 01:46:11 PM  
I just refinanced my mortgage from 5.75% to 3.625% with no closing costs thanks to the government.
Everyone should look into it to see if they qualify.
 
2013-01-02 01:47:44 PM  

Rapmaster2000: This!  Look at what is happening in Iraq and Afghanistan.  Nothing is going right, and you know why?  Because only the incompetent can get government jobs.  That's why these "troops" that everyone loves so much have failed to complete a very modest task which was their charge.

I'd like to ask those currently trumpeting their support for the troops a question: Have you ever actually met any of these soldiers in person? Well, I have, and believe me, they are no more impressive than any other low-level functionary of a large institution.

In all honesty, my soul swells with pride at the thought of the military-strategy papers and cost-analysis reports in which the troops are represented as numerical figures. But, as for the men and women-well, in almost every respect, they are average. Although they are no less intelligent than any other American, it is certainly fair to say they lack the ability to devise the complex strategies and tactics to manage their own divisions, much less grasp the nuanced reasons for their deployment.

It is ridiculous that my "heart" is somehow morally or ethically obliged to "go out" to the troops. In fact, had the troops not been put to productive labor by the sheer might and institutional authority of the U.S. military, a good number of them would be sitting around bars, drinking and gambling. In short, we shouldn't view the troops as objects of sympathy, because their very contribution to our society is their ability to carry out simple commands on a battlefield.

At the heart of the matter is the simple reality that these troops are just government workers doing government work so we should definitely expect failure in all of their endeavors.


I had a tough time making a decision here. On the one hand, I wanted to lavish you with praise for such a masterful job. On the other hand, I didn't want to out you, ruining such a great piece of art. I think what decided it for me was how truly great it was. There's just no way anyone is going to read your post and keep reading before they reply. They won't be able to help themselves, much like me.

Well done, sir. Well done. My favorite part was the pride in paperwork bit, I seriously lol'd.
 
2013-01-02 01:47:49 PM  
"I've been on food stamps and welfare. Did anybody help me out? No
i.imgur.com
 
2013-01-02 01:47:53 PM  
What did the article say? I was distracted by the turd cutter...

img-cdn.mediaplex.com
 
2013-01-02 01:48:15 PM  

Rapmaster2000: This! Look at what is happening in Iraq and Afghanistan. Nothing is going right, and you know why? Because only the incompetent can get government jobs. That's why these "troops" that everyone loves so much have failed to complete a very modest task which was their charge.

I'd like to ask those currently trumpeting their support for the troops a question: Have you ever actually met any of these soldiers in person? Well, I have, and believe me, they are no more impressive than any other low-level functionary of a large institution.


I've always loved this logic right people on the far right; government is bad, government can't do anything right ever, etc etc. But then they also have zero problem giving the government unrestricted powers in law enforcement, war on drugs/terror, military, etc etc. The same people they scream bloody murder about not giving more funding for meat inspections because "they can't do it right" they have no problem with giving a few billion for nukes/chemical weapons/missiles/etc.
 
2013-01-02 01:48:25 PM  
Zombie Reagan dispensing his derp from the grave. No thanks
 
2013-01-02 01:48:45 PM  

qorkfiend: rev. dave: The reason why government programs tend to cause trouble from my perspective: The original legislation, usually created by a Democrat, is amended with many poisonous measures by Republicans intended to make the program fail. Then when the program fails, the Republicans point at it and say "see, we told you that government cannot work".

Don't forget about deliberate underfunding by Congressional Republicans.


There is no end to the underhanded tactics all in the name of ... whatever the hell they really believe. Pain, suffering of the poor make more profits perhaps.
 
2013-01-02 01:49:19 PM  

theknuckler_33: Wow, what a turd of an article.


Gotta love any blog with bad grammar in its name.
 
2013-01-02 01:50:00 PM  
chnm.gmu.edu
 
2013-01-02 01:50:09 PM  
I'm trying to figure out just when we all decided that big government is good. When did we decide to all be statists and abdicate the throne of the individual? Are there really that many colleges puking out collectivists that we have just rolled over to show our furry little bellies to our beaurocratic overlords?

Farking Fark. What the hell happened to you? You used to be fun and irreverent to mass control. Now all I see are the bleating defenders of big brother and dissent is summarily executed.

Here's a pre-emptive derp derp derp so you can just rub one out before you slam me. Bleat.
 
2013-01-02 01:51:54 PM  

studs up: I'm trying to figure out just when we all decided that big government is good. When did we decide to all be statists and abdicate the throne of the individual? Are there really that many colleges puking out collectivists that we have just rolled over to show our furry little bellies to our beaurocratic overlords?


It is a simple formula, whatever the Republicans like is definitely bad for most of us. So what they hate must be good.
 
2013-01-02 01:52:13 PM  

studs up: Bleat.


You forgot "sheeple"
 
2013-01-02 01:52:15 PM  

studs up: When did we decide to all be statists and abdicate the throne of the individual?


after i flush, usually - but i don't involve the state in it unless i'm really desperate for spankbank.
 
2013-01-02 01:53:41 PM  

rev. dave: The reason why government programs tend to cause trouble from my perspective: The original legislation, usually created by a Democrat, is amended with many poisonous measures by Republicans intended to make the program fail. Then when the program fails, the Republicans point at it and say "see, we told you that government cannot work".


I think the problem is more that we hear about the failures almost exclusively. When the government does it right, we either don't notice or just consider that normal. When something screws up, it makes the news. So the failures become the only data set people acknowledge, and the vast majority of government successes are just white noise. Personally, I think it's great that the government works well enough that we never notice it working on a day-to-day basis; I just wish that the fact it isn't perfect wasn't seen as proof it is a complete failure. Because, let's be honest: if the government was even a thousandth as completely inept at its jobs as is presented, we would live in a North American version of Somalia
 
2013-01-02 01:54:16 PM  

studs up: When did we decide to all be statists and abdicate the throne of the individual?


When we evolved from our solitary ape ancestors into a social being.
 
2013-01-02 01:55:18 PM  

studs up: I'm trying to figure out just when we all decided that big government is good.


The Great Depression, WWII, and the Cold War.
 
2013-01-02 01:56:52 PM  

studs up: I'm trying to figure out just when we all decided that big government is good. When did we decide to all be statists and abdicate the throne of the individual? Are there really that many colleges puking out collectivists that we have just rolled over to show our furry little bellies to our beaurocratic overlords?

Farking Fark. What the hell happened to you? You used to be fun and irreverent to mass control. Now all I see are the bleating defenders of big brother and dissent is summarily executed.

Here's a pre-emptive derp derp derp so you can just rub one out before you slam me. Bleat.


We have to make fun of you after rubbing one out? I've only been doing half of that job for years.
 
2013-01-02 01:58:06 PM  

studs up: When did we decide to all be statists and abdicate the throne of the individual?


That would be when we wrote the US Constitution. Well, actually, it would be never, since primates are almost never solitary animals. Rousseau was writing a though experiment (like Plato and More), not describing an actual epoch in human existence.
 
2013-01-02 01:58:36 PM  

studs up: When did we decide to all be statists and abdicate the throne of the individual?


Appropriately 5000 BCE.
 
2013-01-02 01:58:51 PM  

12349876: studs up: When did we decide to all be statists and abdicate the throne of the individual?

When we evolved from our solitary ape ancestors into a social being.


I was going to go with "when animals evolved the pack/herd structure", so maybe 200 MYA?
 
2013-01-02 01:59:49 PM  
Reagan is f*cking DEAD. And he was already forgetting his grandchildren's names and sh*tting in his pants at about the same time I was learning my grandparent's names and figuring out how to NOT sh*t my pants. It's time to find a new hero.
 
2013-01-02 02:00:44 PM  
Brilliant job, the lot of you.
 
2013-01-02 02:01:13 PM  
FTFA:

The impulse to help those in need is one of mankind's better traits. But the impulse to have government help them is often self-defeating.

And the solution is to put our public education, healthcare and housing completely in the hands of the free market, whose sole motivation is to make money, instead of in the government, whose sole motivation is to help.

Right.
 
2013-01-02 02:02:10 PM  
Oh look. More "mortgage bubble caused by bleeding hearts giving free houses to lazy urbanites, not at all related to greedy dishonest peddling of toxic assets" bullshiat.

Fark anybody who thinks that.
 
2013-01-02 02:04:18 PM  

lennavan: Rapmaster2000: This!  Look at what is happening in Iraq and Afghanistan.  Nothing is going right, and you know why?  Because only the incompetent can get government jobs.  That's why these "troops" that everyone loves so much have failed to complete a very modest task which was their charge.

I'd like to ask those currently trumpeting their support for the troops a question: Have you ever actually met any of these soldiers in person? Well, I have, and believe me, they are no more impressive than any other low-level functionary of a large institution.

In all honesty, my soul swells with pride at the thought of the military-strategy papers and cost-analysis reports in which the troops are represented as numerical figures. But, as for the men and women-well, in almost every respect, they are average. Although they are no less intelligent than any other American, it is certainly fair to say they lack the ability to devise the complex strategies and tactics to manage their own divisions, much less grasp the nuanced reasons for their deployment.

It is ridiculous that my "heart" is somehow morally or ethically obliged to "go out" to the troops. In fact, had the troops not been put to productive labor by the sheer might and institutional authority of the U.S. military, a good number of them would be sitting around bars, drinking and gambling. In short, we shouldn't view the troops as objects of sympathy, because their very contribution to our society is their ability to carry out simple commands on a battlefield.

At the heart of the matter is the simple reality that these troops are just government workers doing government work so we should definitely expect failure in all of their endeavors.

I had a tough time making a decision here. On the one hand, I wanted to lavish you with praise for such a masterful job. On the other hand, I didn't want to out you, ruining such a great piece of art. I think what decided it for me was how truly great it was. There's just no wa ..


I must admit I ripped most from the onion.  I've always loved the sentiment.  It's gotten me many bites over the years.  The common retort is that all government workers suck except for the troops because they are the troops.  The troops!
 
2013-01-02 02:04:37 PM  

12349876: When we evolved from our solitary ape ancestors into a social being.


Solitary ape? Primates are social pretty much across the board. If our ancestors were solitary, we wouldn't have language.
 
2013-01-02 02:04:48 PM  

DamnYankees: That line always struck me as being very out of touch


Reagan said it was the nine most terrifying words in the English language. I beg to differ. I think the private sector version of this quote is nine words that are even more terrifying: "We appreciate your concern. Thank you for your understanding."

Either way, you may be getting screwed, but at least when the government does it it's just negligence. When a corporation does it, it's stone-cold deliberate sociopathy.
 
2013-01-02 02:05:01 PM  

studs up: I'm trying to figure out just when we all decided that big government is good. When did we decide to all be statists and abdicate the throne of the individual? Are there really that many colleges puking out collectivists that we have just rolled over to show our furry little bellies to our beaurocratic overlords?

Farking Fark. What the hell happened to you? You used to be fun and irreverent to mass control. Now all I see are the bleating defenders of big brother and dissent is summarily executed.

Here's a pre-emptive derp derp derp so you can just rub one out before you slam me. Bleat.


Please tell me how opressive our government is compared to dictators in the past. We have more freedoms than almost any other country, except for things backwater christians fight for like banning gay marriage. As for your derision of Universities, I find it terribly ironic that you are obviously republican as simple lessons in history would have kept you from making this comment.
 
2013-01-02 02:05:32 PM  

phalamir: studs up: When did we decide to all be statists and abdicate the throne of the individual?

That would be when we wrote the US Constitution. Well, actually, it would be never, since primates are almost never solitary animals. Rousseau was writing a though experiment (like Plato and More), not describing an actual epoch in human existence.


Just to pick your response out of the number that responded "we have always been statists" replies, how does the Constitution, a document revered for protecting individual liberty, become the blueprint for collectivism? Are you saying that any form of government is total government?

Do they not teach logic anymore?
 
2013-01-02 02:05:50 PM  

Rapmaster2000: lennavan: Rapmaster2000: This!  Look at what is happening in Iraq and Afghanistan.  Nothing is going right, and you know why?  Because only the incompetent can get government jobs.  That's why these "troops" that everyone loves so much have failed to complete a very modest task which was their charge.

I'd like to ask those currently trumpeting their support for the troops a question: Have you ever actually met any of these soldiers in person? Well, I have, and believe me, they are no more impressive than any other low-level functionary of a large institution.

In all honesty, my soul swells with pride at the thought of the military-strategy papers and cost-analysis reports in which the troops are represented as numerical figures. But, as for the men and women-well, in almost every respect, they are average. Although they are no less intelligent than any other American, it is certainly fair to say they lack the ability to devise the complex strategies and tactics to manage their own divisions, much less grasp the nuanced reasons for their deployment.

It is ridiculous that my "heart" is somehow morally or ethically obliged to "go out" to the troops. In fact, had the troops not been put to productive labor by the sheer might and institutional authority of the U.S. military, a good number of them would be sitting around bars, drinking and gambling. In short, we shouldn't view the troops as objects of sympathy, because their very contribution to our society is their ability to carry out simple commands on a battlefield.

At the heart of the matter is the simple reality that these troops are just government workers doing government work so we should definitely expect failure in all of their endeavors.

I had a tough time making a decision here. On the one hand, I wanted to lavish you with praise for such a masterful job. On the other hand, I didn't want to out you, ruining such a great piece of art. I think what decided it for me was how truly great it was. There's just ...


10/10, best troll I've seen in a while.
 
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