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(Today)   Amazon reviewers call the revolutionary Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer the greatest thing since the wheel, penicillin or the iPhone   (digitallife.today.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, iPhone, Amazon, slicer, Bic, Three Wolf Moon  
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20111 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jan 2013 at 10:25 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-01-02 11:11:57 AM  
10 votes:
I used to work for Chiquita years ago, in the packing department. One day I put my penis in the banana slicer, and they fired me. She got fired too.
2013-01-02 11:31:20 AM  
6 votes:

img43.imageshack.us
I Am Not Amused

2013-01-02 11:10:22 AM  
5 votes:
www.biography.com

"I wish I'd had one of those back in 1993!"
2013-01-02 11:51:18 AM  
4 votes:

pute kisses like a man: Jument: buttery_shame_cave: ArcadianRefugee: sporkme: We use this fairly frequently:
[i1156.photobucket.com image 432x666]
Slicing a steaming hot dog is kind of a PITA.
It makes the lengthwise cut as well (the outer diameter of a hot dog and the inner diameter of a 2-year-old's trachea are roughly congruent).  It is fun for the crumb crunchers.

Octodog laughs at your weiner Weiner.

[www.thegreenhead.com image 750x300]

[globworld.com image 600x400]

i blew my kid's minds when i did this for them one day for lunch back when the wife unit worked.

I am very confused as to how you managed to insert the noodles into the meat, since I would think the noodles would be all soft and relatively squishy. How did you do it? Even if you made a hole, how did you grasp and insert the noodles without mangling them?

i'm guessing they went in dry, then he boiled the noodle/dog combo.


www.iamacyborg.com
2013-01-02 11:37:28 AM  
4 votes:
Obviously, these should be made in left-handed models as well. Something like half of all bananas curve the other way.
2013-01-02 11:04:58 AM  
4 votes:
They make wire slicers for hard boiled eggs. Now if I only had a use for sliced hard boiled eggs. Besides putting them under my eyelids and scaring the beejesus out of door to door salesmen.
2013-01-02 11:00:55 AM  
3 votes:
This is a valuable product. You've just been invited to a friends, niece's fourth bridal shower you are a bit put off by the invitation for someone you haven't seen since she stopped by trick-or-treating 19 years ago. Social decorum says you have to buy something but she already has all the latex nighties and palm sanders that anyone could use so you go for the passive aggressive gift. This item will sit unused in her junk draw until she is well past menopause causing her husband to periodically shout "can't we just through this away?" Of course she can't though a gift from a bridal shower away so the tension between her and her husband keeps growing over a banana slicer.
2013-01-02 10:52:58 AM  
3 votes:
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring... BANANA SLICER
2013-01-02 10:49:18 AM  
3 votes:
ecx.images-amazon.com
Finally! Do you know how long it USED to take to slice up a banana?
2013-01-02 10:09:44 AM  
3 votes:
this is what the internets were made for.
2013-01-02 09:57:12 AM  
3 votes:
Awesome.

I can't wait to try some of those sliced bananas with a cool glass of Tuscan 2% milk while wearing my Three Wolf Moon T-shirt.
2013-01-02 11:32:43 AM  
2 votes:

ArcadianRefugee: sporkme: We use this fairly frequently:
[i1156.photobucket.com image 432x666]
Slicing a steaming hot dog is kind of a PITA.
It makes the lengthwise cut as well (the outer diameter of a hot dog and the inner diameter of a 2-year-old's trachea are roughly congruent).  It is fun for the crumb crunchers.

Octodog laughs at your weiner Weiner.

[www.thegreenhead.com image 750x300]


globworld.com

i blew my kid's minds when i did this for them one day for lunch back when the wife unit worked.
2013-01-02 11:23:51 AM  
2 votes:

ZzeusS: Call me curmudgeonly, but isn't this the third or fourth go-around we had with this?


Something tells me you were simply looking for a reason to use curmudgeonly.

/NTTAWWT
2013-01-02 11:19:29 AM  
2 votes:
Purchasures of this item frequently purchased the Chefn' StemGem Strawberry Stem Remover, list price $18.97 on sale now for just $10.82!

Who the hell are these people, and what sort lives do they live?
2013-01-02 11:16:08 AM  
2 votes:

brantgoose: Another device I recommend is the crinkle cutter. It is a simple hand chopper which can be used to make crinkle cut vegetables (cucumbers, carrots, zucchini and so forth) and also crinkle cut french fries. Real home-made french fries are easy to make, even if you do it the traditional way and par-boil and dry the French fries for a couple of minutes before letting them cool and deep-frying them.

The only advance on stone age technology (apart from using metal) is the crinkle pattern, but the tool is perfection and simplicity. Truly one of the great inventions of all history. And it rinses as easily as a knife, making it much superior in every way to the patent french fry devices made of plastic and aluminium.


This. And if you're going to buy one, follow the advice my father gave me and get a decent sized one that you can push on.

/he was talking about renting a hooker but still...
2013-01-02 11:14:21 AM  
2 votes:

sporkme: We use this fairly frequently:
[i1156.photobucket.com image 432x666]
Slicing a steaming hot dog is kind of a PITA.
It makes the lengthwise cut as well (the outer diameter of a hot dog and the inner diameter of a 2-year-old's trachea are roughly congruent).  It is fun for the crumb crunchers.


Octodog laughs at your weiner Weiner.

www.thegreenhead.com
2013-01-02 11:11:03 AM  
2 votes:

NutWrench: [ecx.images-amazon.com image 450x289]
Finally! Do you know how long it USED to take to slice up a banana?


Pfft! I can slice a banana in no-time flat. My problem is a consistency of size. I mean, some of my slices wind up 0.2 cm in width, and some as large as 0.75 cm! How can a man eat a a meal with irregularly sized banana slices? Nearly puts me off breakfast entirely most days.
2013-01-02 11:01:05 AM  
2 votes:
WTF? Do the makers of the Hutzler 571 have a device that peels the banana? Talk about the carriage before the horse!
2013-01-03 03:20:16 PM  
1 vote:

Anne.Uumellmahaye: sporkme: We use this fairly frequently:

Slicing a steaming hot dog is kind of a PITA.
It makes the lengthwise cut as well (the outer diameter of a hot dog and the inner diameter of a 2-year-old's trachea are roughly congruent).  It is fun for the crumb crunchers.

Why are you feeding your two year old hot dogs, you selfish, lazy biatch.


Why do you enjoy the smell of your own feces so much, you conceited, hipster reprobate?
Do you force-feed free range arugula to little Kayden and Brayden or do you still breastfeed your two year olds?

Judgmental twatwaffle.
2013-01-02 04:35:22 PM  
1 vote:

ggyy59gy: 天啊!! 我從來不知道可以把香蕉切成一片一片的, 我一直是用吸的方式, 把整支香蕉吸完... 直到...

今天凌晨2am, 一位老美女性朋友狂打我的手機(missed calls 43), 把我正在跟Emma親熱的夢吵醒
不耐煩的我接起我的手機時, 她狂吼的說她再過5分鐘後就會到我家. 掛斷前還聽到她嘀咕的說著banana...
我還以為發生了甚麼意外(accident with banana), 的確.. 五分鐘未到, 她就已經在敲打我的門了.
打開門, 她衝進來... 二話不說的直問我的香蕉在哪裡, 我驚訝的回答... 冰箱... 在冰箱裏...
她用力掰開冰箱的門... 拿出香蕉... 放在桌上... 然後, 從她口袋中拿出一片黃黃,有間隔的香蕉骨架!
妳要幹嘛!!! 我失理生氣的說著! 妳這瘋婆子衝進我家就為了香蕉?! 誰半夜吃香蕉啊!! 那五條香蕉跟妳有仇嗎?? 需要你半夜姦殺嗎?!?
說時遲那時快, 瘋婆子已經把一支香蕉的皮剝掉了!! 另一隻手把這香蕉骨架壓上... 頓時, 香蕉切片應聲而落...

我... 活了這麼大, 第一次腳軟... 跪在地上呆望著那香蕉切片...
等我回神時... 瘋婆子已經不見了... 唯一留下的... 就是那香蕉骨架...
我上網找了好久, 才找到這裡有賣... 這個發明太神奇了, 這遠超越過中國筷子4-5000年的歷史

就算借錢, 賣身, 拿高利貸... 不管如何,您一定要買這Banana Slicer.
不然, 您算是沒活過...


God!! I never know that you can cut into a piece of banana, I have been using smoke, the entire banana sucking out ... until ...

Early this morning, 2am, an old beauty sex friend beat my cell phone (missed calls 43), I'm awakened dream affectionate with Emma
Impatient when I pick up my phone, she howling said she will be to my house after another 5 minutes before hanging up, hear her muttering about her banana ...
I thought something happens (accident with banana), indeed .. five minutes yet to come, she has been knocking on my door.
Opened the door, she rushed ... apart from anything else directly asked where my banana, I was surprised by the answer ... refrigerator ... refrigerator ...
She was forced to break apart the refrigerator door ... come up with banana ... on the table ... and then from her pocket and took out a yellow interval banana skeleton!
To whom you want to why I am the lost grounds angry her! You this crazy biatch into my house in order banana?! Who midnight, bananas ah!! The five bananas thee any grudges?? Need you at midnight rape and murder it?!?
Just at that moment, the crazy biatch has a banana skin peeled off!! Your other hand on the pressure of this banana skeleton ... suddenly, banana slices drop as ...

I ... live so large, the first is once Jiaoruan ... kneeling on the ground stared banana slices TV drama ...
I returned to God ... crazy biatch has gone ... the only thing left ... is that banana skeleton ...
I surf the Internet and for a long time to find here have to sell ... this invention amazing, far more than 4-5000 years of history over the Chinese chopsticks

Even borrow money, sell their bodies to take usury ... No matter what, you have to buy this Banana Slicer.
Otherwise, you can be considered never lived ...
2013-01-02 04:20:13 PM  
1 vote:
Talk about commitment to excellence in product research and development! It took 570 failures before they found the right combination of utility, cost-effectiveness and aesthetics! And now a Model 571b? Wow! How can they improve on the original? I'm keeping my 571a, I'll bet it'll be worth a ton on eBay in 2050!
2013-01-02 11:56:08 AM  
1 vote:

i302.photobucket.com
i302.photobucket.com
i302.photobucket.com

2013-01-02 11:55:46 AM  
1 vote:
i.imgur.com
2013-01-02 11:41:36 AM  
1 vote:

buttery_shame_cave: ArcadianRefugee: sporkme: We use this fairly frequently:
[i1156.photobucket.com image 432x666]
Slicing a steaming hot dog is kind of a PITA.
It makes the lengthwise cut as well (the outer diameter of a hot dog and the inner diameter of a 2-year-old's trachea are roughly congruent).  It is fun for the crumb crunchers.

Octodog laughs at your weiner Weiner.

[www.thegreenhead.com image 750x300]

[globworld.com image 600x400]

i blew my kid's minds when i did this for them one day for lunch back when the wife unit worked.


Yeah, I can see how doing something like that would freak the kids out. Especially if that was their first indication that you had finally snapped.
2013-01-02 11:21:57 AM  
1 vote:

DownDaRiver: Purchasures of this item frequently purchased the Chefn' StemGem Strawberry Stem Remover, list price $18.97 on sale now for just $10.82!

Who the hell are these people, and what sort lives do they live?


not the kind of people i care to associate with, i assure you
2013-01-02 11:15:09 AM  
1 vote:

brantgoose: Take for example, the fruit juicer. A $2.00 hand-juicer takes a bit of elbow grease to operate but can be rinsed under running water in a moment,


I have a 300 pound draw on the pulldown, my hands are strong enough that I can crush a citrus and get most of the juice. Well, provided it's not from California, those tend to be sorta dry.
2013-01-02 11:02:01 AM  
1 vote:

Random Anonymous Blackmail: That thing looks like a biatch to wash.


That's the beauty of the device. You will save enough time by using it to slice bananas that you will have plenty of spare time to properly clean and store the banana slicer.
2013-01-02 11:01:54 AM  
1 vote:

Cheron: This is a valuable product. You've just been invited to a friends, niece's fourth bridal shower you are a bit put off by the invitation for someone you haven't seen since she stopped by trick-or-treating 19 years ago. Social decorum says you have to buy something but she already has all the latex nighties and palm sanders that anyone could use so you go for the passive aggressive gift. This item will sit unused in her junk draw until she is well past menopause causing her husband to periodically shout "can't we just through this away?" Of course she can't though a gift from a bridal shower away so the tension between her and her husband keeps growing over a banana slicer.


so basically it's a cheap fondu set? Niiiiice.
2013-01-02 10:58:20 AM  
1 vote:

netcentric: Brazilians, pfft... probably didn't understand the question.

And there's the whole Portuguese translation thing...


They're too busy fighting off all the monkeys to have time to spend on translation.
2013-01-02 10:55:41 AM  
1 vote:
Is there a plantain version? The Hutzler 571 looks too small for plantains.
2013-01-02 10:50:12 AM  
1 vote:
Brazilians, pfft... probably didn't understand the question.

And there's the whole Portuguese translation thing...
2013-01-02 10:43:07 AM  
1 vote:
Banana na,
na nan a na,
hey heyya,
gooood slice.
 
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