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(Today)   Amazon reviewers call the revolutionary Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer the greatest thing since the wheel, penicillin or the iPhone   (digitallife.today.com) divider line 122
    More: Amusing, iPhone, Amazon, slicer, Bic, Three Wolf Moon  
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20087 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jan 2013 at 10:25 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-02 09:57:12 AM  
Awesome.

I can't wait to try some of those sliced bananas with a cool glass of Tuscan 2% milk while wearing my Three Wolf Moon T-shirt.
 
2013-01-02 10:09:44 AM  
this is what the internets were made for.
 
2013-01-02 10:43:07 AM  
Banana na,
na nan a na,
hey heyya,
gooood slice.
 
2013-01-02 10:49:18 AM  
ecx.images-amazon.com
Finally! Do you know how long it USED to take to slice up a banana?
 
2013-01-02 10:49:34 AM  
Link to the actual amazon site.
 
2013-01-02 10:50:12 AM  
Brazilians, pfft... probably didn't understand the question.

And there's the whole Portuguese translation thing...
 
2013-01-02 10:52:47 AM  
I think it moved.
 
2013-01-02 10:52:58 AM  
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring... BANANA SLICER
 
2013-01-02 10:54:49 AM  
Call me curmudgeonly, but isn't this the third or fourth go-around we had with this?
 
2013-01-02 10:55:41 AM  
Is there a plantain version? The Hutzler 571 looks too small for plantains.
 
2013-01-02 10:57:10 AM  
That thing looks like a biatch to wash.
 
2013-01-02 10:58:20 AM  

netcentric: Brazilians, pfft... probably didn't understand the question.

And there's the whole Portuguese translation thing...


They're too busy fighting off all the monkeys to have time to spend on translation.
 
2013-01-02 11:00:55 AM  
This is a valuable product. You've just been invited to a friends, niece's fourth bridal shower you are a bit put off by the invitation for someone you haven't seen since she stopped by trick-or-treating 19 years ago. Social decorum says you have to buy something but she already has all the latex nighties and palm sanders that anyone could use so you go for the passive aggressive gift. This item will sit unused in her junk draw until she is well past menopause causing her husband to periodically shout "can't we just through this away?" Of course she can't though a gift from a bridal shower away so the tension between her and her husband keeps growing over a banana slicer.
 
2013-01-02 11:01:05 AM  
WTF? Do the makers of the Hutzler 571 have a device that peels the banana? Talk about the carriage before the horse!
 
2013-01-02 11:01:54 AM  

Cheron: This is a valuable product. You've just been invited to a friends, niece's fourth bridal shower you are a bit put off by the invitation for someone you haven't seen since she stopped by trick-or-treating 19 years ago. Social decorum says you have to buy something but she already has all the latex nighties and palm sanders that anyone could use so you go for the passive aggressive gift. This item will sit unused in her junk draw until she is well past menopause causing her husband to periodically shout "can't we just through this away?" Of course she can't though a gift from a bridal shower away so the tension between her and her husband keeps growing over a banana slicer.


so basically it's a cheap fondu set? Niiiiice.
 
2013-01-02 11:02:01 AM  

Random Anonymous Blackmail: That thing looks like a biatch to wash.


That's the beauty of the device. You will save enough time by using it to slice bananas that you will have plenty of spare time to properly clean and store the banana slicer.
 
2013-01-02 11:04:58 AM  
They make wire slicers for hard boiled eggs. Now if I only had a use for sliced hard boiled eggs. Besides putting them under my eyelids and scaring the beejesus out of door to door salesmen.
 
2013-01-02 11:06:35 AM  
We use this fairly frequently:
i1156.photobucket.com
Slicing a steaming hot dog is kind of a PITA.
It makes the lengthwise cut as well (the outer diameter of a hot dog and the inner diameter of a 2-year-old's trachea are roughly congruent).  It is fun for the crumb crunchers.
 
2013-01-02 11:06:55 AM  
The trouble with labour-saving devices is that the slight gain in time from using them is completely lost several times over when you clean them. Take for example, the fruit juicer. A $2.00 hand-juicer takes a bit of elbow grease to operate but can be rinsed under running water in a moment, while you have to disassemble and wash the juicer after each use, which takes as much as half an hour. Net loss of time results, and you lose an opportunity to exercise your upper arms.

About the only labour-saving device that actually saves labour is the microwave oven (well, and the toaster). That's one reason why we love the microwave oven, the other being that it is one of the rare househould appliances that will last for years even if you buy a cheap model. A good microwave oven should work for at least 15 years and many people are probably still using their Amana microwaves from the Sixties.

Some gadgets I recommend:

* citrus fruit juicer (manual, glass, good exercise)
* boiled egg slicer (easy to clean)
* bagel holder for slicing bagels (much safer, can be rinsed occasionally)
* egg-poaching cups for microwave (easier to clean than the stove-top version, which also requires a pot to boil water)
* a really good ultra-thin Swiss or German paring knife (very sharp, easy to use and clean, inexpensive)
* microwave-save dishes (Corelle ware is easy to wash, nearly unbreakable unless you drop it just so)
* paper-bags for popping microwave popcorn (sandwich bags will do, watch carefully to avoid burning)
* a small electric coffee-grinder (for grinding all sorts of things besides coffee, making crumbs, etc.)
* electric kettle for boiling water (faster and safer than using a regular kettle, saves energy, can be used anywhere there is an outlet). Oddly enough, this seems to be a common item in Canada but virtually unknown in many countries. The French, for example, insist on using burners that are so hot that their non-heat resistant glassware is at risk of exploding. Thus it is very difficult to make tea in France without boiling water in a metal pan. Very strange.
 
2013-01-02 11:07:05 AM  

Boudica's War Tampon: They make wire slicers for hard boiled eggs. Now if I only had a use for sliced hard boiled eggs. Besides putting them under my eyelids and scaring the beejesus out of door to door salesmen.


sandwiches
 
2013-01-02 11:09:09 AM  

bungle_jr: Boudica's War Tampon: They make wire slicers for hard boiled eggs. Now if I only had a use for sliced hard boiled eggs. Besides putting them under my eyelids and scaring the beejesus out of door to door salesmen.

sandwiches


Salads
 
2013-01-02 11:10:22 AM  
www.biography.com

"I wish I'd had one of those back in 1993!"
 
2013-01-02 11:10:37 AM  

brantgoose: * microwave-save dishes (Corelle ware is easy to wash, nearly unbreakable unless you drop it just so)


we have a shrinking set of corelle dishes...ever since we bought this house 9 months ago we've discovered that a tile floor can shatter a corelle dish into approximately 1 trillion tiny pieces. we no longer give our 3 year old his slices of banana in a corelle bowl.
 
2013-01-02 11:11:03 AM  

NutWrench: [ecx.images-amazon.com image 450x289]
Finally! Do you know how long it USED to take to slice up a banana?


Pfft! I can slice a banana in no-time flat. My problem is a consistency of size. I mean, some of my slices wind up 0.2 cm in width, and some as large as 0.75 cm! How can a man eat a a meal with irregularly sized banana slices? Nearly puts me off breakfast entirely most days.
 
2013-01-02 11:11:47 AM  
I did a story on this when I worked at a SoCal paper around 1992. I wonder if that inventor sold the rights, or is getting ripped off. Or perhaps, the colonists had banana slicers.
 
2013-01-02 11:11:52 AM  
Another device I recommend is the crinkle cutter. It is a simple hand chopper which can be used to make crinkle cut vegetables (cucumbers, carrots, zucchini and so forth) and also crinkle cut french fries. Real home-made french fries are easy to make, even if you do it the traditional way and par-boil and dry the French fries for a couple of minutes before letting them cool and deep-frying them.

The only advance on stone age technology (apart from using metal) is the crinkle pattern, but the tool is perfection and simplicity. Truly one of the great inventions of all history. And it rinses as easily as a knife, making it much superior in every way to the patent french fry devices made of plastic and aluminium.
 
2013-01-02 11:11:57 AM  
I used to work for Chiquita years ago, in the packing department. One day I put my penis in the banana slicer, and they fired me. She got fired too.
 
2013-01-02 11:13:07 AM  

bungle_jr: brantgoose: * microwave-save dishes (Corelle ware is easy to wash, nearly unbreakable unless you drop it just so)

we have a shrinking set of corelle dishes...ever since we bought this house 9 months ago we've discovered that a tile floor can shatter a corelle dish into approximately 1 trillion tiny pieces. we no longer give our 3 year old his slices of banana in a corelle bowl.


that is the one flaw to Corelle. Do not drop them on tile floors. Otherwise, we love our bamboo pattern square Corelle plates. Made in the USA, too. Not the coffee mugs though.
 
2013-01-02 11:14:21 AM  

sporkme: We use this fairly frequently:
[i1156.photobucket.com image 432x666]
Slicing a steaming hot dog is kind of a PITA.
It makes the lengthwise cut as well (the outer diameter of a hot dog and the inner diameter of a 2-year-old's trachea are roughly congruent).  It is fun for the crumb crunchers.


Octodog laughs at your weiner Weiner.

www.thegreenhead.com
 
2013-01-02 11:15:09 AM  

brantgoose: Take for example, the fruit juicer. A $2.00 hand-juicer takes a bit of elbow grease to operate but can be rinsed under running water in a moment,


I have a 300 pound draw on the pulldown, my hands are strong enough that I can crush a citrus and get most of the juice. Well, provided it's not from California, those tend to be sorta dry.
 
2013-01-02 11:16:08 AM  

brantgoose: Another device I recommend is the crinkle cutter. It is a simple hand chopper which can be used to make crinkle cut vegetables (cucumbers, carrots, zucchini and so forth) and also crinkle cut french fries. Real home-made french fries are easy to make, even if you do it the traditional way and par-boil and dry the French fries for a couple of minutes before letting them cool and deep-frying them.

The only advance on stone age technology (apart from using metal) is the crinkle pattern, but the tool is perfection and simplicity. Truly one of the great inventions of all history. And it rinses as easily as a knife, making it much superior in every way to the patent french fry devices made of plastic and aluminium.


This. And if you're going to buy one, follow the advice my father gave me and get a decent sized one that you can push on.

/he was talking about renting a hooker but still...
 
2013-01-02 11:19:29 AM  
Purchasures of this item frequently purchased the Chefn' StemGem Strawberry Stem Remover, list price $18.97 on sale now for just $10.82!

Who the hell are these people, and what sort lives do they live?
 
2013-01-02 11:19:32 AM  
I don't see any use for this and I get the joke but I just want to fess up and say I own an apple slicer which is handy as hell if you're feeling like eating em sliced. Slicing apples is work, slicing bananas is done with a butter knife.
 
2013-01-02 11:21:57 AM  

DownDaRiver: Purchasures of this item frequently purchased the Chefn' StemGem Strawberry Stem Remover, list price $18.97 on sale now for just $10.82!

Who the hell are these people, and what sort lives do they live?


not the kind of people i care to associate with, i assure you
 
2013-01-02 11:22:25 AM  
 
2013-01-02 11:23:51 AM  

ZzeusS: Call me curmudgeonly, but isn't this the third or fourth go-around we had with this?


Something tells me you were simply looking for a reason to use curmudgeonly.

/NTTAWWT
 
2013-01-02 11:24:49 AM  

Carn: I don't see any use for this and I get the joke but I just want to fess up and say I own an apple slicer which is handy as hell if you're feeling like eating em sliced. Slicing apples is work, slicing bananas is done with a butter knife.


l.westfalia.eu
 
2013-01-02 11:25:49 AM  
"Hutzler 571":
everytime my eyes see this they make me think it says "Heinz 57"
 
2013-01-02 11:28:37 AM  

brantgoose: The trouble with labour-saving devices is that the slight gain in time from using them is completely lost several times over when you clean them. Take for example, the fruit juicer. A $2.00 hand-juicer takes a bit of elbow grease to operate but can be rinsed under running water in a moment, while you have to disassemble and wash the juicer after each use, which takes as much as half an hour. Net loss of time results, and you lose an opportunity to exercise your upper arms.

About the only labour-saving device that actually saves labour is the microwave oven (well, and the toaster). That's one reason why we love the microwave oven, the other being that it is one of the rare househould appliances that will last for years even if you buy a cheap model. A good microwave oven should work for at least 15 years and many people are probably still using their Amana microwaves from the Sixties.

Some gadgets I recommend:

* citrus fruit juicer (manual, glass, good exercise)
* boiled egg slicer (easy to clean)
* bagel holder for slicing bagels (much safer, can be rinsed occasionally)
* egg-poaching cups for microwave (easier to clean than the stove-top version, which also requires a pot to boil water)
* a really good ultra-thin Swiss or German paring knife (very sharp, easy to use and clean, inexpensive)
* microwave-save dishes (Corelle ware is easy to wash, nearly unbreakable unless you drop it just so)
* paper-bags for popping microwave popcorn (sandwich bags will do, watch carefully to avoid burning)
* a small electric coffee-grinder (for grinding all sorts of things besides coffee, making crumbs, etc.)
* electric kettle for boiling water (faster and safer than using a regular kettle, saves energy, can be used anywhere there is an outlet). Oddly enough, this seems to be a common item in Canada but virtually unknown in many countries. The French, for example, insist on using burners that are so hot that their non-heat resistant glassware is at risk of exploding. Thus it is v ...


Hey if you're not a bot, I see the banana slicer working well for commercial use -lots and lots of bananas .
 
2013-01-02 11:31:20 AM  
img43.imageshack.us
I Am Not Amused
 
2013-01-02 11:32:26 AM  

turbocucumber: Carn: I don't see any use for this and I get the joke but I just want to fess up and say I own an apple slicer which is handy as hell if you're feeling like eating em sliced. Slicing apples is work, slicing bananas is done with a butter knife.

[l.westfalia.eu image 258x288]


There's evidence that peeling apples yourself stimulates your brain a whole boatload.

\You're doing it wrong
 
2013-01-02 11:32:43 AM  

ArcadianRefugee: sporkme: We use this fairly frequently:
[i1156.photobucket.com image 432x666]
Slicing a steaming hot dog is kind of a PITA.
It makes the lengthwise cut as well (the outer diameter of a hot dog and the inner diameter of a 2-year-old's trachea are roughly congruent).  It is fun for the crumb crunchers.

Octodog laughs at your weiner Weiner.

[www.thegreenhead.com image 750x300]


globworld.com

i blew my kid's minds when i did this for them one day for lunch back when the wife unit worked.
 
2013-01-02 11:33:50 AM  

StevieKo: Hey if you're not a bot, I see the banana slicer working well for commercial use -lots and lots of bananas .


This.

I mean I don't really feel the need to have an industrial julienne masher in my house, but I'm sure as hell glad the folks at the local burger shop have one.

That being said, this is clearly marketed as a cutsey home utensil thing and thus deserves the full brunt of the internet's mocking.

/Also that hot dog chopper thing is rather handy for anyone with small children.
//You try cutting up a hotdog into not-going-to-choke-sized slices while a toddler screams at you and/or does their best to break crap.
 
2013-01-02 11:35:27 AM  
Great for cereal Count me in!
 
2013-01-02 11:36:48 AM  

StevieKo: turbocucumber: Carn: I don't see any use for this and I get the joke but I just want to fess up and say I own an apple slicer which is handy as hell if you're feeling like eating em sliced. Slicing apples is work, slicing bananas is done with a butter knife.

[l.westfalia.eu image 258x288]

There's evidence that peeling apples yourself stimulates your brain a whole boatload.

\You're doing it wrong


I don't think I could ever do it like that picture no matter how many times I tried. Of course, I'm not sure why I'd want a single continuous apple slice spiral either.
 
2013-01-02 11:37:08 AM  
http://www.fark.com/comments/777880/Researchers-find-peeling-an-apple- stimulates-most-highly-evolved-section-of-your-brain
 
2013-01-02 11:37:28 AM  
Obviously, these should be made in left-handed models as well. Something like half of all bananas curve the other way.
 
2013-01-02 11:38:37 AM  

DjangoStonereaver: [www.biography.com image 402x402]

"I wish I'd had one of those back in 1993!"


Is that Loreena bobbit? I had no idea what she looked like if it is
 
2013-01-02 11:38:44 AM  

Infobahn: [img43.imageshack.us image 320x500]
I Am Not Amused


i was thinking of alton's stance against "uni-taskers" throughout this entire thread
 
2013-01-02 11:41:36 AM  

buttery_shame_cave: ArcadianRefugee: sporkme: We use this fairly frequently:
[i1156.photobucket.com image 432x666]
Slicing a steaming hot dog is kind of a PITA.
It makes the lengthwise cut as well (the outer diameter of a hot dog and the inner diameter of a 2-year-old's trachea are roughly congruent).  It is fun for the crumb crunchers.

Octodog laughs at your weiner Weiner.

[www.thegreenhead.com image 750x300]

[globworld.com image 600x400]

i blew my kid's minds when i did this for them one day for lunch back when the wife unit worked.


Yeah, I can see how doing something like that would freak the kids out. Especially if that was their first indication that you had finally snapped.
 
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