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(ABC)   Mother gives her son an iPhone and a lesson in life   (abcnews.go.com) divider line 35
    More: Hero, iPhone, good friends  
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31591 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jan 2013 at 8:37 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-01-02 08:42:15 AM
7 votes:
FTFA:

"The first rule on his mother's list: "It is myphone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren't I the greatest?"

"I hope that you understand it is my job to raise you into a well rounded, healthy young man that can function in the world and coexist with technology, not be ruled by it," Janell Hoffman wrote. "Failure to comply with the following list will result in termination of
your iPhone ownership."

Confusing contract language. I expect him to sue for ownership when she takes it from him in three months.
2013-01-02 05:51:11 AM
6 votes:
Oh, look, a mommy blogger did sormthing. How fascinating.
2013-01-02 11:35:14 AM
3 votes:
This actually seems like a reasonably good idea.

/shiat like this makes me glad my wife and I decided to stick with cats
//cats never look at porn
///as far as we know
2013-01-02 11:01:11 AM
3 votes:
"Wonder without Googling."

Why? I can look up nearly anything I'm curious about. The other day, I wondered why ducks don't get frostbite on their feet in the winter. I looked it up and now I know. Otherwise I would go through life suspecting that ducks have magic powers.
2013-01-02 10:49:18 AM
3 votes:
Thanks Mom, but I already bought myself an iPhone 5 last month financed from selling drugs, which you didn't notice while you were busy blogging...
2013-01-02 08:54:13 AM
3 votes:
Rule #21; no commenting in the politics tab on the Fark.com
2013-01-02 08:51:27 AM
3 votes:
Meh. My parents basically said the same thing when they got me my first phone. Except each breach of contract was punished by catapult.

/was raised hardcore
2013-01-02 11:01:54 AM
2 votes:

sigdiamond2000: It's so much easier to just not have kids.


i3.kym-cdn.com
2013-01-02 10:28:04 AM
2 votes:
FTFA: "It is myphone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren't I the greatest?"

This statement concisely describes her real motivations behind this entire situation, and her general motivations in life (including the decision to have children in the first place).
zez
2013-01-02 09:04:34 AM
2 votes:
There is no need to document everything. Live your experiences. They will be stored in your memory for eternity.

And that's why she posted that to her blog and probably facebook and twitter too and then called up the news station so they could post it as well along with a picture and video.

/I learned it from you mom, I learned it from yoooouuuuuuuuu
2013-01-02 08:55:57 AM
2 votes:
Also, I am going to throw a flag for improper usage of the hero tag.

10 yard penalty. 1st down.
2013-01-02 08:49:47 AM
2 votes:
Really, I have to answer every incoming call? Take it back and get me something else.
2013-01-02 04:20:02 PM
1 votes:
How is establishing rules over-parenting? The problem here is that this is being viewed as anything but normal, especially by the mom. She's an attention whore for sure, yelling to anyone who'll listen that she is so awesome and has it all figured out and we should all pay attention. In fact, this is normal parenting. Congratulations you dumb blogger, you're getting really excited and worked up over something thousands of non-blog moms are already doing: raising kids with manners-- only they're not expecting the press to get excited over it. Next up she'll blog about a new invention called the "chore wheel" which notifies children in a fair manner who is responsible for which duties during the week. If those duties are adequately performed, she gives them a weekly sum of money... an "allowance" as it were.
2013-01-02 01:09:52 PM
1 votes:

washington-babylon: There is no need to document everything. Live your experiences. They will be stored in your memory for eternity.

Ever hear of this little thing that happens late in life called Alzheimer's?

/She's an overprotective control freak.
//It's a wonder the kid isn't crazy... or is he?


I found her statement to be ironic or hypocritical since she blogs everything. It must be humiliating for this kid to have the entire world knowing about his phone and the rules.
Kids hate to be embarrassed by their parents and she has gone viral with it.
This kid is in the next group of most likely to shoot up a public place now. Blog about that Mommy. shoot up
2013-01-02 12:54:17 PM
1 votes:

Hyperbolic Hyperbole: So. Here is a magical piece of communication and information technology. Don't use it when there are people around. Don't use it to find facts and information when piqued by curiosity. If you find yourself alone and tempted to use it, go do something else. Do not use it for ANYTHING a 13 year old would be most likely to do with it. You can turn it on at 7:30am but most likely have school at 8am and you're not taking it there, and you get out at what. 2:30pm? 3pm? So for the next four and a half hours you have a phone, I expect you not to be using it for anything unless I call, or your dad calls, as it is not meant to be used as a replacement for human communication. But this is totally an awesome privilege and responsibility I'm handing you (which you don't really own btw so don't try pulling any of that "ITS MY PHONE" sh*t) and if you break it, you owe me $650.

This seems like the sort of thing you hand an intelligent child so he can reason out the fact that there's no point to the gift you've given him so he can say no thanks BEFORE you buy one.

Sounds like she meant to buy him one of these.

[media.tumblr.com image 450x532]


Also, apparently only for kids with two, opposite-sex parents.
2013-01-02 12:46:15 PM
1 votes:
So. Here is a magical piece of communication and information technology. Don't use it when there are people around. Don't use it to find facts and information when piqued by curiosity. If you find yourself alone and tempted to use it, go do something else. Do not use it for ANYTHING a 13 year old would be most likely to do with it. You can turn it on at 7:30am but most likely have school at 8am and you're not taking it there, and you get out at what. 2:30pm? 3pm? So for the next four and a half hours you have a phone, I expect you not to be using it for anything unless I call, or your dad calls, as it is not meant to be used as a replacement for human communication. But this is totally an awesome privilege and responsibility I'm handing you (which you don't really own btw so don't try pulling any of that "ITS MY PHONE" sh*t) and if you break it, you owe me $650.

This seems like the sort of thing you hand an intelligent child so he can reason out the fact that there's no point to the gift you've given him so he can say no thanks BEFORE you buy one.

Sounds like she meant to buy him one of these.

media.tumblr.com
2013-01-02 12:23:50 PM
1 votes:

JasonKY: I wonder how many of you who (rightfully) are criticizing this woman for the "it's a gift...it's still MINE" thing supported that laptop-shooting cretin for using the same logic.


I know, right? I gave my toddler a bunch of gifts for Christmas, and now I'm screwed because I can't take them away from him if he misbehaves or even sell them when he outgrows them. I mean, they're "gifts", right? They belong exclusively to him. No takesies-backsies. I guess I'll just have to wait until he's older and able to give me permission to throw them out or sell them.

Or maybe the concept of a "gift" is different when children are involved...
2013-01-02 11:41:31 AM
1 votes:
When my son is old enough to start asking for things I'm going to start showing him "A Serbian Film" every time he asks. I imagine he wouldn't ask for much after that...save for maybe a therapist. Then I'll just show it to him again. Kids never learn.
2013-01-02 11:36:36 AM
1 votes:
Was the life lesson 'don't ever accept a "gift" that has more strings attached than a grand piano'?
2013-01-02 11:13:24 AM
1 votes:

Molavian: sigdiamond2000: It's so much easier to just not have kids.

I bet it is. Of course, you become a developmentally challenged adult. Basically you remain a socially stunted semi-child for the rest of your life.


What the fark are you smoking?
2013-01-02 10:53:55 AM
1 votes:
I know of at least one 13-year-old who would have been all "JOY!" until seeing the rules, at which point the screaming, the stomping of feet, the slamming of doors, and possibly the smashing of the phone would have ensued.

If the phone weren't smashed, then there would have been eye-rolling promises to abide by all of the rules, which would have been broken, one after another, in the course of the next five minutes.

Verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry glad those days are behind me.
2013-01-02 10:53:12 AM
1 votes:

Cyno01: Pythagoras: LazarusLong42: Also, "Wonder without Googling?" Congratulations, you've missed the point if the Internet.

I actually miss trying to figure what happened or why something happens or who that person is without resorting to the Internet. Made for good conversation.

WHY?!

"Oh man, what was that other movie that guy was in, with that other guy..." "Oh, i know what youre talking about, its on the tip of my tongue." "fark, this is gonna bug me all night"


Ohh! Navy Seals!

/not obscure
2013-01-02 10:46:54 AM
1 votes:

Pythagoras: LazarusLong42: Also, "Wonder without Googling?" Congratulations, you've missed the point if the Internet.

I actually miss trying to figure what happened or why something happens or who that person is without resorting to the Internet. Made for good conversation.


WHY?!

"Oh man, what was that other movie that guy was in, with that other guy..." "Oh, i know what youre talking about, its on the tip of my tongue." "fark, this is gonna bug me all night"

You miss those conversations?

"Never memorize something that you can look up." ~ Albert Einstein
2013-01-02 10:39:33 AM
1 votes:
19. Do not taunt iPhone.
2013-01-02 10:30:27 AM
1 votes:

JerseyTim: Oh, look, a mommy blogger did sormthing. How fascinating.


No shiat, I stopped reading at the photo caption: "A mom blogger..."
2013-01-02 10:17:34 AM
1 votes:
The contract says nothing about apps. Strange.
2013-01-02 10:06:59 AM
1 votes:
if your mom writes you a letter that includes the phrase "i love you madly", you've got bigger problems coming than violating your 18 point agreement
2013-01-02 10:04:03 AM
1 votes:
No pr0n? She is a monster.
2013-01-02 09:18:21 AM
1 votes:
It's so much easier to just not have kids.
2013-01-02 09:06:30 AM
1 votes:
Negotiate, kid. She already had the phone, if you refused to sign there would have been a counter-offer. You failed the first life lesson.
2013-01-02 08:52:28 AM
1 votes:
Giving kids a list of rules? Damn, why didn't we think of that before.
2013-01-02 08:52:22 AM
1 votes:
Keep your phone on silent and put away while in public. When you're home, you're allowed to use it until 7:30. But in that window of a few hours each day when I permit you to use your phone, you still shouldn't. Oh and despite my helicopter parenting dangling this carrot on a stick in front of you, you totally shouldn't become obsessed with the carrot.
2013-01-02 08:49:08 AM
1 votes:
I like how one of her alternatives to using the phone is "Talk to a stranger"

That'll learn 'em, ma!
2013-01-02 08:49:05 AM
1 votes:
I dunno, a parent expecting her kid to take personal responsibility and be a respectful member of society instead of a bot is starting to seem more and more like news.
2013-01-02 06:16:27 AM
1 votes:
AW-like blogging detected.

Is that an oxymoron?
 
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