If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(ABC)   Mother gives her son an iPhone and a lesson in life   (abcnews.go.com) divider line 180
    More: Hero, iPhone, good friends  
•       •       •

31591 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jan 2013 at 8:37 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



180 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-01-02 02:53:21 PM

DeathCipris: Because telling someone "You don't own it, I, in all of my majesty and mercifulness, am letting you use it." doesn't convey a sense of responsibility/pride. Letting them know "You own/earned this, but it isn't exempt from punishment." is to the point without being an ass about it.


And she tells him this in the fourth sentence. "You are a good & responsible 13 year old boy and you deserve this gift.". She then says - in no uncertain terms - that she owns it (and pays the monthly charges). With the possible exception of the "Aren't I the greatest" rejoinder (which you and I read differently), there isn't anything there that reeks of taunting or malice. Why should she have to pretend that it's his?

The alternative would be to just leave it as a "gift" and then just take it away when he misuses it. But adults (I'm assuming they're adults) on this thread alone can't seem to wrap their heads around the fact that a "gift" to a 13 year old does not mean "it's yours and I am powerless to do anything ever again". I would (hopefully) imagine that the brain of a 13 year old would be even less logical "You can't take it away!! It's mine!! It was a gift!".

There are boundaries. Reminding the child of the powerless nature of the relationship isn't productive. Letting the child know you know and respect the fact they earned/own it,

But you aren't reminding them that they're "powerless". You've bought a piece of expensive electronic equipment and you want them to respect that. Feel free to draw a conclusion about the rest of her behavior as a parent, but all we know is this one instance. Still seems fair to me.

But at the same time have a backbone as a parent, is a far cry different. Again, like my truck example. It is representative of real-life and prevents the child from growing up to feel like an entitled douche.

But the kids *DON'T* own it. Kids aren't dumb. Either they know they don't own it, so reminding them that they don't is only stating the obvious. Or they DO they think own it, and they end up bitter and resentful when mom and dad take away something that was "rightfully theirs".

"It's mine, so treat it with respect, follow the rules, or I take it back."
"It's yours, but I have total control over it."
Po-TA-to. Po-TAH-to.

I am aware they are basically explaining the same thing. It is the way it is presented that can have a profound impact.

It's just a reflection of the entitlement generation and pandering to snowflakes. How *dare* she purchase an expensive piece of electronics (that she continually pays for monthly) and not only set rules, but remind me that it's not mine!!
 
2013-01-02 03:07:04 PM

VespaGuy: It's just a reflection of the entitlement generation and pandering to snowflakes. How *dare* she purchase an expensive piece of electronics (that she continually pays for monthly) and not only set rules, but remind me that it's not mine!!


Let me re-phrase it for you: She bought herself an iphone, turned it into a goddamned dog collar, and handed it to her child.

Can someone start up a drive for this kid? I'd donate 50 cents to buying him a cheap android phone or used iphone. Then, I'd make damned sure that the local news organization which covered the story published a follow-up article about how the internet got together, gave this kid an ACTUAL christmas gift and not a glorified dog collar, and made his mom look like the ass she is while doing so.

But I'm lazy.
 
2013-01-02 03:25:06 PM

Lexx: VespaGuy: It's just a reflection of the entitlement generation and pandering to snowflakes. How *dare* she purchase an expensive piece of electronics (that she continually pays for monthly) and not only set rules, but remind me that it's not mine!!

Let me re-phrase it for you: She bought herself an iphone, turned it into a goddamned dog collar, and handed it to her child.

Can someone start up a drive for this kid? I'd donate 50 cents to buying him a cheap android phone or used iphone. Then, I'd make damned sure that the local news organization which covered the story published a follow-up article about how the internet got together, gave this kid an ACTUAL christmas gift and not a glorified dog collar, and made his mom look like the ass she is while doing so.

But I'm lazy


And childless.

:::sigh:::
Another one who thinks that if the kid "owns" his phone that he becomes invincible to his parents rules.
 
2013-01-02 03:30:10 PM

VespaGuy: Lexx: VespaGuy: It's just a reflection of the entitlement generation and pandering to snowflakes. How *dare* she purchase an expensive piece of electronics (that she continually pays for monthly) and not only set rules, but remind me that it's not mine!!

Let me re-phrase it for you: She bought herself an iphone, turned it into a goddamned dog collar, and handed it to her child.

Can someone start up a drive for this kid? I'd donate 50 cents to buying him a cheap android phone or used iphone. Then, I'd make damned sure that the local news organization which covered the story published a follow-up article about how the internet got together, gave this kid an ACTUAL christmas gift and not a glorified dog collar, and made his mom look like the ass she is while doing so.

But I'm lazy

And childless.

:::sigh:::
Another one who thinks that if the kid "owns" his phone that he becomes invincible to his parents rules.


*sigh*

Another one who thinks that being a legal guardian of a child means you can control them absolutely.
 
2013-01-02 03:49:19 PM

Lexx: *sigh*

Another one who thinks that being a legal guardian of a child means you can control them absolutely.


If you think that setting rules about cellphone usage is synonymous with "absolute control", you might be a teenager.
 
2013-01-02 03:49:39 PM

DeathCipris:

I could not agree more. It belongs to him when it is convenient for the mother. It is an power move so she can maintain control of her son a little while longer. It is a sad, pathetic attempt and any other adult should publicly shame this woman for such deplorable behavior.


The thing is this - if they're thinking about it, a parent gives a kid a phone for their own convenience, not the kid's convenience or entertainment. Those things are ancillary.

ITT: People with Mommy/Daddy issues.
 
2013-01-02 03:57:51 PM

mistersnark: DeathCipris:

I could not agree more. It belongs to him when it is convenient for the mother. It is an power move so she can maintain control of her son a little while longer. It is a sad, pathetic attempt and any other adult should publicly shame this woman for such deplorable behavior.

The thing is this - if they're thinking about it, a parent gives a kid a phone for their own convenience, not the kid's convenience or entertainment. Those things are ancillary.

ITT: People with Mommy/Daddy issues.


THIS. So much this!

Many of the "anti-mom" comments sound like angry teens themselves. At a certain age, you stop identifying with the 13 year old, and start identifying with the mom. Grow up, work hard, get married, buy a house, start a family. Suddenly "Daddy never let me hang posters in my bedroom!" doesn't seem like such a big deal.
 
2013-01-02 03:58:17 PM

VespaGuy: Lexx: *sigh*

Another one who thinks that being a legal guardian of a child means you can control them absolutely.

If you think that setting rules about cellphone usage is synonymous with "absolute control", you might be a teenager.


I'm saying that the expectation that someone would, or should, behave according to your will, simply because you will it, is a sign you might not be able to deal with human being who don't work for you.

The sooner children gain agency and realize that their parents are not absolute existences, the better.
 
2013-01-02 04:04:52 PM

mistersnark: DeathCipris:

I could not agree more. It belongs to him when it is convenient for the mother. It is an power move so she can maintain control of her son a little while longer. It is a sad, pathetic attempt and any other adult should publicly shame this woman for such deplorable behavior.

The thing is this - if they're thinking about it, a parent gives a kid a phone for their own convenience, not the kid's convenience or entertainment. Those things are ancillary.

ITT: People with Mommy/Daddy issues.


Then the parent shouldn't lie that it's a gift, exaggerate their generosity, BLOG about it, and then call the local newspaper. My parents gave me an emergencies-only prepaid cell phone, and didn't insult my intelligence by pretending it was a Christmas present.
 
2013-01-02 04:11:29 PM

Lexx: VespaGuy: Lexx: *sigh*

Another one who thinks that being a legal guardian of a child means you can control them absolutely.

If you think that setting rules about cellphone usage is synonymous with "absolute control", you might be a teenager.

I'm saying that the expectation that someone would, or should, behave according to your will, simply because you will it, is a sign you might not be able to deal with human being who don't work for you.


Who said anything about "behaving according to their will"? Did you read the article? We're talking about cell phone usage rules for a 13 year old. The strictest rules are "don't take it to school", "give it to me at night", and "you're responsible for a replacement if you break it". That's about it. The rest of the "rules" are just good motherly advice (YMMV) - listen to different music than mainstream stuff, don't send dirty photos, don't be a zombie, etc.

From that you get someone behaving "according to your will"? Seriously?

The sooner children gain agency and realize that their parents are not absolute existences, the better. I don't have children.
 
2013-01-02 04:17:48 PM

VespaGuy: Lexx: VespaGuy: Lexx: *sigh*

Another one who thinks that being a legal guardian of a child means you can control them absolutely.

If you think that setting rules about cellphone usage is synonymous with "absolute control", you might be a teenager.

I'm saying that the expectation that someone would, or should, behave according to your will, simply because you will it, is a sign you might not be able to deal with human being who don't work for you.

Who said anything about "behaving according to their will"? Did you read the article? We're talking about cell phone usage rules for a 13 year old. The strictest rules are "don't take it to school", "give it to me at night", and "you're responsible for a replacement if you break it". That's about it. The rest of the "rules" are just good motherly advice (YMMV) - listen to different music than mainstream stuff, don't send dirty photos, don't be a zombie, etc.

From that you get someone behaving "according to your will"? Seriously?

The sooner children gain agency and realize that their parents are not absolute existences, the better. I don't have children.


Am I the only childless wonder who thinks that a parent's job is to provide food, shelter, love, opportunities for self improvement, and a good role model, and NOTHING ELSE?
 
2013-01-02 04:20:02 PM
How is establishing rules over-parenting? The problem here is that this is being viewed as anything but normal, especially by the mom. She's an attention whore for sure, yelling to anyone who'll listen that she is so awesome and has it all figured out and we should all pay attention. In fact, this is normal parenting. Congratulations you dumb blogger, you're getting really excited and worked up over something thousands of non-blog moms are already doing: raising kids with manners-- only they're not expecting the press to get excited over it. Next up she'll blog about a new invention called the "chore wheel" which notifies children in a fair manner who is responsible for which duties during the week. If those duties are adequately performed, she gives them a weekly sum of money... an "allowance" as it were.
 
2013-01-02 04:36:10 PM

Lexx: VespaGuy: Lexx: VespaGuy: Lexx: *sigh*

Another one who thinks that being a legal guardian of a child means you can control them absolutely.

If you think that setting rules about cellphone usage is synonymous with "absolute control", you might be a teenager.

I'm saying that the expectation that someone would, or should, behave according to your will, simply because you will it, is a sign you might not be able to deal with human being who don't work for you.

Who said anything about "behaving according to their will"? Did you read the article? We're talking about cell phone usage rules for a 13 year old. The strictest rules are "don't take it to school", "give it to me at night", and "you're responsible for a replacement if you break it". That's about it. The rest of the "rules" are just good motherly advice (YMMV) - listen to different music than mainstream stuff, don't send dirty photos, don't be a zombie, etc.

From that you get someone behaving "according to your will"? Seriously?

The sooner children gain agency and realize that their parents are not absolute existences, the better. I don't have children.

Am I the only childless wonder who thinks that a parent's job is to provide food, shelter, love, opportunities for self improvement, and a good role model, and NOTHING ELSE?


Far from it. There are plenty of childless folks who have all the answers to parenting. Quite a few in this thread, I'm sure. At least you admit you have no idea what you're talking about.
 
2013-01-02 04:36:38 PM
I don't think everyone needs to be a parent. I don't think parents are better than people without kids. And it's true, some people are simply too selfish to ever be good parents. But here's the thing: If you're so selfish that you can't conceivably care for a child, then not having kids doesn't really solve the problem. Don't get me wrong: I'm super happy that you're self-aware enough not to procreate, but I'm guessing you're still kind of a selfish, shiatty person.
 
2013-01-02 04:44:42 PM

Lexx:

Am I the only childless wonder who thinks that a parent's job is to provide food, shelter, love, opportunities for self improvement, and a good role model, and NOTHING ELSE?


A lot of those "opportunities for self-improvement" come as a result of an ability to adhere to rules and boundaries of acceptable behavior.

You speak about parenthood as if it's a combination concierge/life coach service. But...parents are not only responsible for their children's existence and well-being, they are also held responsible for their behavior. Like, legally, and morally as well.

When those fact sinks in (at least among normal, non-smothering/non-neglectful parents), it tends to spur a desire to shape said children's behavior - not only in an attempt to make them better people, but also keep one's own ass out of trouble and embarrassment. Think of it as a sort of "protecting your investment" mentality.

Some parents take it too far with helicopter parenting, but this isn't really an example of that. Attention-whoring? Maybe.
 
2013-01-02 05:17:08 PM
I had a cellphone when I was around 13 too.

2.bp.blogspot.com

You could beat someone with it if they tried to rob you.
/Has iphone 4S now
//Great phone
 
2013-01-02 05:20:13 PM

mistersnark: Lexx:

Am I the only childless wonder who thinks that a parent's job is to provide food, shelter, love, opportunities for self improvement, and a good role model, and NOTHING ELSE?

A lot of those "opportunities for self-improvement" come as a result of an ability to adhere to rules and boundaries of acceptable behavior.

You speak about parenthood as if it's a combination concierge/life coach service. But...parents are not only responsible for their children's existence and well-being, they are also held responsible for their behavior. Like, legally, and morally as well.

When those fact sinks in (at least among normal, non-smothering/non-neglectful parents), it tends to spur a desire to shape said children's behavior - not only in an attempt to make them better people, but also keep one's own ass out of trouble and embarrassment. Think of it as a sort of "protecting your investment" mentality.

Some parents take it too far with helicopter parenting, but this isn't really an example of that. Attention-whoring? Maybe.


The only way my parents EVER shaped my behavior was by example. And it occurred like 10 years AFTER they gave up trying, when some of the shiat they said started to actually make some sense. Far too much of what parents do is completely arbitrary, and cannot be rationally deconstructed to actually be "in my child's best interests".
 
2013-01-02 05:20:24 PM

VespaGuy: :::sigh:::
Another one who thinks that if the kid "owns" his phone that he becomes invincible to his parents rules.


You sound like you were lucky enough not to have passive-aggressive extremely manipulative parents. Maybe you need to have experienced manipulative giving a few times before you get sensitive to it, I don't know.

No one in this thread has advocated for not having rules, or for saying that a parent can't restrict use of the phone/take a phone away for punishment. Heck, no one in here is even saying the kid necessarily needs an iPhone.

Heck, those people coming out against the mom are largely saying the smart thing for the kid to do is say NO to the phone, not insist on misusing it.

It's not about the rules, it's about the way they were presented. Which goes hand-in-hand with the attention whoring, because it's all about the "look at me" thing. There's the "look at me" to the world from a "mommy-blogger" which is annoying, and then there's the "look at me" to the kid, essentially getting all smug and full of herself because in a comparison with a kid, she's rich.

Heck, I would not have a problem with mom telling her kid he has to turn his own personally-bought phone off and put it in a basket in the evening because in our house we have live face-to-face family conversation at the dinner table, if that's the house rules. It ain't about rules.
 
2013-01-02 05:23:03 PM

itazurakko: VespaGuy: :::sigh:::
Another one who thinks that if the kid "owns" his phone that he becomes invincible to his parents rules.

You sound like you were lucky enough not to have passive-aggressive extremely manipulative parents. Maybe you need to have experienced manipulative giving a few times before you get sensitive to it, I don't know.

No one in this thread has advocated for not having rules, or for saying that a parent can't restrict use of the phone/take a phone away for punishment. Heck, no one in here is even saying the kid necessarily needs an iPhone.

Heck, those people coming out against the mom are largely saying the smart thing for the kid to do is say NO to the phone, not insist on misusing it.

It's not about the rules, it's about the way they were presented. Which goes hand-in-hand with the attention whoring, because it's all about the "look at me" thing. There's the "look at me" to the world from a "mommy-blogger" which is annoying, and then there's the "look at me" to the kid, essentially getting all smug and full of herself because in a comparison with a kid, she's rich.

Heck, I would not have a problem with mom telling her kid he has to turn his own personally-bought phone off and put it in a basket in the evening because in our house we have live face-to-face family conversation at the dinner table, if that's the house rules. It ain't about rules.


This.
 
2013-01-02 05:27:20 PM

Molavian: I don't think everyone needs to be a parent. I don't think parents are better than people without kids. And it's true, some people are simply too selfish to ever be good parents. But here's the thing: If you're so selfish that you can't conceivably care for a child, then not having kids doesn't really solve the problem. Don't get me wrong: I'm super happy that you're self-aware enough not to procreate, but I'm guessing you're still kind of a selfish, shiatty person.


As opposed to the paragon of virtue you are.
 
2013-01-02 06:25:48 PM
I thought it was a good idea until I started reading the list and she sounds more like a nazi now than a good parent. A good parent infers his kids judgment, not "give me this phone and ill give it back to you tomorrow morning every day".
 
2013-01-02 06:30:17 PM
whatever, just put a cock pic on instagram now and get it out of the way before you're rich and fabulous
 
2013-01-02 06:50:53 PM
That kid gets beat up at school a lot.
 
2013-01-02 06:51:45 PM
I didn't even get a phone filled with candy when I was a kid.
 
2013-01-02 07:58:28 PM
Jesus. Makes me miss the days of beepers in high school.

/ wasn't dealing anything
// beepers were forbidden in '93
/// parents had zero farks to give
//// slashies are DELICIOUS
 
2013-01-02 11:37:38 PM
Wow, I got rules for Christmas! Thanks Mom!

I would've been like, fark this, I don't want it. With all those rules, he's barely going to be able to use it. Leaving the phone at home? Why didn't you just buy him a desktop computer?
 
2013-01-02 11:59:39 PM
Thanks for the offer, Mom. But I'll just mow a few lawns and buy my own goddam Net10 phone without all this BS.
 
2013-01-03 01:42:30 AM
I wasn't aware that gifts now come with agreements, rules and conditions.
 
2013-01-03 01:46:15 AM
FTA:"I love you madly & look forward to sharing several million text messages with you in the days to come," she added.

Yes, I'm sure this kid will look forward to getting dozens of "R U OK? WHERE R U?" text messages every 5 minutes.
 
2013-01-04 02:49:25 PM
You have to back out to the front page of her blog in order to really understand where she's coming from, which is that she believes that she has these Really Really Super Deep Thoughts About Being A Parent and that her kids are mere reflections of her own innate greatness, which she is generously sharing with the world. No one writes something like Rule #1 unless they're trying to keep a leash on their kid. No one sane expects that a teenage boy won't use something like this for porn. No one with the slightest smidgen of respect for their child as an individual makes it a condition of a gift like this that the recipient has to listen to music that they personally find sufficiently original and non-mainstream.

Not only do I hope that the kid rejects the phone, sooner or later, but that the last thing he says to her when he leaves for college is, "Mom, I just wanted you to know, the iPhone you got me five years ago? With all the rules? That you blogged about? I looked at porn every single day on it. MILFs, mostly."
 
Displayed 30 of 180 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report