She sounds insufferable!

Hero tag? Are you farking kidding me?

Only an 18 point agreement? That makes most EULA's look tame.

Spiffy? Maybe

Hero? RUFARKINGKIDDINGME?

Oooooh, an iphone!

How novel.

But seriously most adults could stand a few of those rules. Except porn of course.

JerseyTim: Oh, look, a mommy blogger did sormthing. How fascinating.

I hate this trend of "Mommy blogging"
Jesus Christ lady, we get it. You are hip / modern / edgy and have a good "dialogue" with your kids. Sweet. Doesn't mean little Timmy isn't gonna smoke crystal meth or kill an escort (sorry, hooker). And it doesn't mean that this is news.

/wonders when her book is coming out
//bad subby for video auto-play

Yeah, dang, I realise my phone is pretty well attached to me 24/7...

I do make a point to keep it on silent when in company with other people.

I do prefer to ring rather than text, or ring/text to arrange face-to-face meetings to talk.

I expected the smug assholes to come out in force; I didn't realize it would be within the first 12 comments.

Kyro: Telling a 13-year-old not to look at porn? Oh well since it's a rule, I'm sure he'll abide.

He better learn how to clear browsing history...

This just in! Mom buys kid phone. Has rules.

Don't take a zillion pictures and videos. There is no need to document everything. Live your experiences. They will be stored in your memory for eternity.

Next to messaging, isn't this pretty much what a kid would want an smart phone for?

I dunno, a parent expecting her kid to take personal responsibility and be a respectful member of society instead of a bot is starting to seem more and more like news.

I like how one of her alternatives to using the phone is "Talk to a stranger"

That'll learn 'em, ma!

Really, I have to answer every incoming call? Take it back and get me something else.

Kyro: Telling a 13-year-old not to look at porn? Oh well since it's a rule, I'm sure he'll abide.

...On the phone.

Meh. My parents basically said the same thing when they got me my first phone. Except each breach of contract was punished by catapult.

/was raised hardcore

Giving kids a list of rules? Damn, why didn't we think of that before.

*my* first reaction was "why, why, why is this on Fark"

"It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren't I the greatest?"

This one. Right here. Why bother "gifting" the phone if you are just going to remind him that "IT IS MY PHONE. I WORKED TO PAY FOR IT. NAH NAH!"? My Dad used to pull this EXACT stunt and I still resent him for it. It is a dick move and if you can't afford to give it away, don't gift it. Simple as that.

Rule #21; no commenting in the politics tab on the Fark.com

Also, I am going to throw a flag for improper usage of the hero tag.

10 yard penalty. 1st down.

can't agree with number 6 "If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs. Mow a lawn, babysit, stash some birthday money. It will happen, you should be prepared."

In number 1 she states that the phone is her property then, in 6 she obligates another individual to pay for damages etc.

He should reject the contract and phone since she said that he would eventually lose/break it and that he would pay. He should just bite the bullet and just do all that babysitting working etc now and cut out the middleman or woman in this case and have the phone as his own property. Also when it becomes time for him to take care of her in her old age he should bring all sorts of contracts for her care. etc.

It's a family not a business.

Seriously, these mommy bloggers need to be ignored until they go away. Just because your eggs hatched doesn't make what you do or how you raise them worthy of attention by the masses.

Also, those rules she set indicate that she really doesn't understand smartphones, youth culture, or the fact that cell phones are useful / desirable primarily because they offer a private, uncensored way to communicate. My god lady, you don't want your son taking photos, videos, making calls after dinner or surfing naughty stuff online? Just what the hell do you expect him to actually DO with the damned thing?

"Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being," read rule number seven. "Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others. Be a good friend first or stay the hell out of the crossfire."

Other rules forbid porn and the sending or receiving of "pictures of your private parts or anyone else's private parts." The rules also outline the hours and places the phone may be used.

/sure, take all the fun out of it. What's the point now?

stratagos: Hero tag? Are you farking kidding me?

Could it be... ?

Hero indeed. Give a kid something to keep him away from the real world.

kids don't need cell phones, certainly not a smart phone.

mrlewish: can't agree with number 6 "If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs. Mow a lawn, babysit, stash some birthday money. It will happen, you should be prepared."

In number 1 she states that the phone is her property then, in 6 she obligates another individual to pay for damages etc.

He should reject the contract and phone since she said that he would eventually lose/break it and that he would pay. He should just bite the bullet and just do all that babysitting working etc now and cut out the middleman or woman in this case and have the phone as his own property. Also when it becomes time for him to take care of her in her old age he should bring all sorts of contracts for her care. etc.

It's a family not a business.

Sir, you are a scholar and a gentleman.

I could not agree more. It belongs to him when it is convenient for the mother. It is an power move so she can maintain control of her son a little while longer. It is a sad, pathetic attempt and any other adult should publicly shame this woman for such deplorable behavior.

There is no need to document everything. Live your experiences. They will be stored in your memory for eternity.

And that's why she posted that to her blog and probably facebook and twitter too and then called up the news station so they could post it as well along with a picture and video.

/I learned it from you mom, I learned it from yoooouuuuuuuuu

It would have been funnier if she used the word "License" in there, kinda how Sodastream licenses their CO2 cans to me.

Some of the rules aren't so great. But some of the rules should be on all basic phone contracts.

"Don't take pictures of your junk, the internet will point and laugh."

If she really wanted to teach him a lesson in life, she should have bought him an Android.

Of course, if she hated him, it would have been a Windows Phone.

/Windows Phone 6 if she was vile
//What's a Blackberry? That's a fruit, right?

Thank you, random mom, for putting in writing so much of what's wrong with helicopter parenting.

Not to mention the inherent contradictions in multiple places. Also, "Wonder without Googling?" Congratulations, you've missed the point if the Internet.

How about teaching the kid not to use cuss words in every sentence? You know, like a good, responsible parent would? Lead by example,lady.

LazarusLong42: Also, "Wonder without Googling?" Congratulations, you've missed the point if the Internet.

I actually miss trying to figure what happened or why something happens or who that person is without resorting to the Internet. Made for good conversation. These days, most of the conversations I have is, "Man, did you see that awesome video?"

We are getting dumber and kudos to the mom who is trying to fix that.

I wish I had taken more pictures since my memory has been failing me at the ripe old age of 27. and I would actually accept my 13 year old would look at porn so my rule would be "no paying for porn". There is enough free stuff to get by. And fark "wondering", wiki is the best.

/The rest sounds solid
//Why the hell doesn't she just have insurance on a 13 year olds cell phone?

"19. You will not use the nice pillow cases your grandmother gave you as spank-it blankets. Seriously, that woman had four sons, what could she have been thinkintg?

LazarusLong42: Thank you, random mom, for putting in writing so much of what's wrong with helicopter parenting.

Not to mention the inherent contradictions in multiple places. Also, "Wonder without Googling?" Congratulations, you've missed the point if the Internet.

That might be sound advice when it comes to blumpkin, lemon party, snowballs, 2 girls / 1 cup etc.

/no warning should be necessary, but don't Google at work

Pythagoras: LazarusLong42: Also, "Wonder without Googling?" Congratulations, you've missed the point if the Internet.

I actually miss trying to figure what happened or why something happens or who that person is without resorting to the Internet. Made for good conversation. These days, most of the conversations I have is, "Man, did you see that awesome video?"

We are getting dumber and kudos to the mom who is trying to fix that.

Bullshiat, we are getting smarter. We used to sit around arguing and wondering and now we look things up and actually know what the fark we are talking about. We have beautiful devices like wiki and factcheck and snopes so we don't have to walk around like idiots believing in bullshiat, and can correct the idiots spreading it. If most of your conversations include "man did you see that awesome video?" then you need new friends not more wondering.

Seems reasonable to have some rules for a very expensive gadget. I don't get what the problem is with taking lots of pictures, but whatever. My rule would have been "Don't take pictures of people who don't want their picture taken, otherwise have a blast." I can see where a parent expecting some responsibility from a teen would be generally unpopular on fark though.

Can't wait until he goes to college and drafts his first Roommate Agreement.