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(Minneapolis Star Tribune)   High-fructose corn syrup - is there nothing it can't do?   ( divider line
    More: Interesting, high-fructose corn syrup  
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18515 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jan 2013 at 2:16 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-01-02 02:47:11 AM  
7 votes:

my alt's alt's alt: i had to completely remove sugar from my diet for a time and went through hardcore heroin-esque withdrawals and cravings like a motherfarker.

You're lucky you quit when you did. I started off with oral ingestion but pretty soon that wasn't giving me enough of a rush so I started snorting confectioners sugar.

Pretty soon I hit rock bottom hardcore, melting sugar and distilled water in a spoon and injecting it into my veins. By that time I wasn't even doing it for the sweetness, just to feel normal. In the end I was stealing sugar packets from Tim Horton's so that I could "caramelize" five times a day.

My family got me the help I need and I'm now in a Stevia maintenance program.

/holding my 2 year chip
/wondering how it would taste with a glaze
2013-01-02 02:31:05 AM  
7 votes:
absolutely true. i had to completely remove sugar from my diet for a time and went through hardcore heroin-esque withdrawals and cravings like a motherfarker.

it got really serious when i saw a baby ruth crawling on the ceiling
2013-01-02 03:00:17 AM  
2 votes:

Relatively Obscure: Table sugar is sucrose, which is half fructose, half glucose. High-fructose corn syrup is 55 percent fructose and 45 percent glucose.




Same difference.
2013-01-02 02:21:05 AM  
2 votes:
cure diabeetus?
2013-01-02 12:09:59 AM  
2 votes:

cretinbob: Get it's biatch ass in the kitchen and make me a sandwich?

Oh sure you can, sugar.
2013-01-02 07:58:41 PM  
1 vote:


This is because consumers have bought into the "moderation" mantra that Big Food is so adept at promulgating: the idea that everything, even that 3/4lb burger with bacon and 4 slices of cheese, is completely fine as long as you "enjoy in moderation". That 1500 calorie bowl of pasta is acceptable as long as it's for the occasional celebration. Pizza with 3 pounds of cheese stuffed in the crust and another 4 pounds of meat on top? Relax - you're not eating it every day, right? It's OK.

When you switch your mindset away from moderation, losing weight becomes easy. When you see a bacon cheeseburger, you don't think "treat", you think "that's what a disgusting fat retard would eat".

Did you used to be fat or were you always a miserable bastard?
2013-01-02 10:09:15 AM  
1 vote:

sminkypinky: You are addicted to crap food - until you get your fat ass 'man vs food' attitude adjusted, and start cooking real food in sensible proportions, you are going to continue to die fat and early.

Cooking is considered a manly art in the modern world.

First off, a man who can cook is a man who can get laid. By women who know he's getting laid by other women. Constantly.

Second, cooking is an exercise of tool use in creativity, which is what men do--we make things. We take hammers and make houses. Then we make pneumatic frame nailers and make houses really farking fast. Then we invent impact drivers and power drills and thinset and ditra and porcelain tile and engineered wood and 5/8 engineered hardwood tongue-and-groove flooring and modern floor building methods and roofing methods, and we make sturdy houses fast. Fast like I can build a modern house by myself in a matter of a few short weeks, given the capital. I need to buy the parts--construction materials--but I can dig a foundation with a backhoe, drop in cinder blocks, pour concrete, and there's your basement; run joists into pockets in the foundation,, there's your foundational first floor. Use a pneumatic nailer to nail 2x4 studs into that, pop pop pop. Drop subfloor, use the floor nailer or a screw gun or if you want use the impact driver, two layers (subfloor and then underlayment), 1 1/4 inch or 32mm. Walls. Door frames. Doors, stairs, second floor. Roof. Run plumbing, cable, electricity, network while the walls are open. Insulate, put up drywall. Floor nailer to place 5/8 engineered hardwood. Lay thinset, roll out Ditra, lay more thinset, kerdi-band, thinset, porcelain tiles. Grout the next day. Put in cabinets. Three weeks of 12 hour days later, you might have a house--it's doable, we made tools for this.

We made double-ovens, we made high-quality engineered knives, food processors, mixers. Men pride themselves on being able to use a hand-router or an unpowered chisel to carve intricately designed table legs. Hell, men pride themselves on using a hammer, tongs, anvil, and fire to make knives and swords--you will find men like this, historically men were swordsmiths. Men will take an 8 and 10 inch Chef's knife and carve shiat up. Men will bring the Sodium Alginate and Calcium Carbonate. Men will bring miniature food torches for finishing.

Men make cooking an art, a matter of pride, a display of power.

Women bake.

Cooking has become a very manly art, and men who sit around on their asses just eating are weak and flabby and become fat.
2013-01-02 07:09:13 AM  
1 vote:

lordargent: Basically, the real problem is that people consume too much and that it's a lot easier to drink in those calories than to chew them.

Yes and no.  The problem is that the food industry removed fiber from our diet.  The reason why someone eating apples can't keep up with someone drinking soda is that the former has bulk.  In nature, fructose is almost always packaged with fiber (and when it isn't, it's guarded by insects with sharp parts), and fiber is hydrophilic (it absorbs water like a mofo).  It's this fructose-fiber-water package your body is used to eating in large quantities.  Soda, fruit juices, HFCS, syrup, etc. are all sugar water with the fiber removed.  In that sense, you're correct -- it slows down eating.

That's less than half the benefit, though.  The other thing about fiber is that it fundamentally alters the way sugar is absorbed.  Sugar dissolves in water very easily and fiber absorbs water, so while you can use scientific methods to measure the sugar content of an apple, it's a wildly inaccurate estimate of how many calories you absorb.  Soda?  Basically 100% absorbed.  The reason why fiber has a reputation for making people fart is that it allows bacteria to consume the sugar you've eaten, and converts it to, well, smelly by-products, but that's proof the fiber's working.  It stinks (ha-ha), but this is how humans were for millions of years. There's a time and place for low-fiber foods (before meetings and during trips, for example), but you are NOT meant to eat low-fiber foods every day.
2013-01-02 05:05:14 AM  
1 vote:
When I was a poor kid in China, one of the things we'd take back from the hospital is the sterile glucose solutions they used to use for IVs. As a kid, we'd puncture the seal and drink it like soda. Tasted great.

/Comment is unrelated.
2013-01-02 04:10:03 AM  
1 vote:

yukichigai: Seriously, there's something about HFCS that always tastes slightly like "burning" to me.
2013-01-02 02:42:53 AM  
1 vote:
But if obese people stop eating junk, won't somebody think of the impact on the healthcare industry and fast food manufacturers?!
You are addicted to crap food - until you get your fat ass 'man vs food' attitude adjusted, and start cooking real food in sensible proportions, you are going to continue to die fat and early.
2013-01-02 02:20:53 AM  
1 vote:
Return to Hell from whence it came?
2013-01-02 02:19:43 AM  
1 vote:
FTFA: "Sugar may make the brain crave more food."

Next you'll be telling me that salt can actually make you thirsty!

2013-01-02 12:05:23 AM  
1 vote:
Reduce obesity?

2013-01-02 12:00:58 AM  
1 vote:
Get it's biatch ass in the kitchen and make me a sandwich?
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