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(Awful Announcing)   Fox's "Celebrity Diving", debuting in January: Terrell Owens, J-Woww, Kim and Kyle Richards, and Baywatch's Alexandra Paul and something called David Chokachi   (awfulannouncing.com) divider line 78
    More: Sad, Baywatch, celebrity  
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3723 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 01 Jan 2013 at 7:07 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-01 03:04:21 PM
How about celebrity muff diving instead.
 
2013-01-01 03:13:42 PM
Have we reached the nadir of Western civilization yet?  Because I think this show is a signpost that it's coming up.
 
2013-01-01 04:09:09 PM

Coco LaFemme: Have we reached the nadir of Western civilization yet?  Because I think this show is a signpost that it's coming up.


There will always be a lower rung of mindless buffoonery- right up until Armageddon's first battle.
 
2013-01-01 06:34:38 PM
I don't even know what the word "celebrity" means any more.
 
2013-01-01 06:48:28 PM
Man, that is a really stretch of the word "Celebrity" past T.O., although I guess anyone from "Jersey Shore" has a pretty high level of fame, unfortunately.

So, Fox has done "Celebrity" Boxing, Figure Skating, and now Diving.   Why don't they just bring back the "Superstars" competition?
 
2013-01-01 06:55:51 PM
Wake me for "Celebrity How Long Will They Wear a Burning Tire Around Their Neck"
 
2013-01-01 07:01:30 PM
Joanie chokes Chachi? Kinky.
 
2013-01-01 07:10:39 PM
Now I finally understand the cultural victory in Civilization. Everyone else suicides.
 
2013-01-01 07:15:08 PM
-Jenni "JWOWW" Farley of "Jersey Shore"

It's good that they included someone who brings her own flotation devices...
www.freepspwallpaper.org
 
2013-01-01 07:16:22 PM

LonMead: -Jenni "JWOWW" Farley of "Jersey Shore"

It's good that they included someone who brings her own flotation devices...
[www.freepspwallpaper.org image 480x272]


Fake boobs don't float, but real ones do.
 
2013-01-01 07:16:23 PM

OregonVet: How about celebrity muff diving instead.


You degenerate!

/ I was gonna write that, too
 
2013-01-01 07:17:10 PM
"So, whattaya got?"
"Okay, it's like DWTS but with hot bodies in swimsuits."
"Swimming with the Stars? That'll never work, you can't see the tits unless they're doing backstroke."
"No, better - Diving with the Stars. They're walking around, standing by the pool, they dive in, they get all wet - it's like PG porn for family types!"
"Oh my god, it's brilliant - and when they fark up people will love it! They always hated JWoww, now they can watch her get a facefull of splat on TV! Johnson, your a genius! Cocaine and hookers for everyone!"

/and scene
 
2013-01-01 07:20:17 PM

Coco LaFemme: Have we reached the nadir of Western civilization yet?


We hit that back in the '70s with Battle of the Network Stars

/ link goes to Cheryl Tiegs vs Victoria Principal, with bonus hot shorts apperance
 
2013-01-01 07:28:18 PM
Quite a list of celebs. If the six of them were sitting at a table I'd say "Hey, isn't that TO over at that table sitting with 5 random people?"
 
2013-01-01 07:28:34 PM

Winterlight: Coco LaFemme: Have we reached the nadir of Western civilization yet?

We hit that back in the '70s with Battle of the Network Stars

/ link goes to Cheryl Tiegs vs Victoria Principal, with bonus hot shorts apperance


A friend of mine has a VHS tape of every second of Linda Carter's appearances. Every. Second. He's since transferred it to digital. But he still has the tape.
 
2013-01-01 07:35:44 PM
I used to be an AAU competitive diver a long time ago. I started diving competitively when I was 4. It is NOT easy and can be extremely dangerous -- which, to my lament, is why nobody has diving boards anymore. Kills me.
 
2013-01-01 07:42:31 PM
I bet its 2 episodes in before Jwopp used the pool as an ashtray/toilet.
 
2013-01-01 07:46:40 PM

Winterlight: We hit that back in the '70s with Battle of the Network Stars


Don't forget Circus of the Stars!
 
2013-01-01 07:47:30 PM

WhyteRaven74: Don't forget Circus of the Stars!


I'm trying. Therapy helped a lot.

/ still have Gabe Kaplan in my nightmares
 
2013-01-01 07:49:22 PM
Drain the pool.
 
2013-01-01 07:55:33 PM
It would be quite OK with me if, after the glut of "celebrity" reality programming killing TV ratings, the networks joined together to decided to "thin the herd" by producing a "famewhore hunger game". Whoever survives gets a reality series they so covet, until the next season....

Imagine: the untalanted cast of all the MTV reality shows, vs the untalented cast of Community, vs the untalented rejects from the numerous singing and dancing and traveling competition shows, all trying their hardest to murder each other for amusement and ratings? Snookie actually trying to kill Joel McHale, who is actually trying to kill the Illiterate Black Chick From American Idol? I'd DVR the fark out of that.
 
2013-01-01 07:56:16 PM
None of them will be the triple Lindy

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-01 07:59:24 PM

lokis_mentor: None of them will beat the triple Lindy

FTFM

 
2013-01-01 08:02:08 PM
i1038.photobucket.com
not amused
 
2013-01-01 08:05:39 PM

Apos: Coco LaFemme: Have we reached the nadir of Western civilization yet?  Because I think this show is a signpost that it's coming up.

There will always be a lower rung of mindless buffoonery- right up until Armageddon's first battle.


Yes, but, do we need to keep digging lower and lower ditches to ensure that the lower rung of mindless buffoonery is, well, so damned low?

This is "Ow, My Balls!", with water. Folks are watching solely to see has-beens belly flop.
 
2013-01-01 08:12:04 PM
we're only a couple more years away from its return...

borgdotcom.files.wordpress.com
/the show I mean, I think everyone in the pic is dead
 
2013-01-01 08:21:13 PM

Spanky_McFarksalot: we're only a couple more years away from its return...


Oh, you snooty elitists and your high-brow tastes.

rmc.library.cornell.edu
 
2013-01-01 08:23:23 PM
"Battle of the Network Stars" was "Downton Abbey" compared to 'celebrity' competitions od today.

And if you disparage it, you shut your whore mouth. The T&A with Cosell narrating was epic.
 
2013-01-01 08:30:28 PM
I'd sooner watch this show than a lawyer or cop dramedy.
 
2013-01-01 08:36:15 PM

OtherLittleGuy: "Battle of the Network Stars" was "Downton Abbey" compared to 'celebrity' competitions od today.

And if you disparage it, you shut your whore mouth. The T&A with Cosell narrating was epic.


"I believe 'The Battle of the Network Stars' should be fought with guns." - Steve Martin
 
2013-01-01 08:51:17 PM
I'm hoping for "Celebrity Bowel Movements"
 
2013-01-01 08:52:21 PM
Bethany Hamilton? Won't she just swim in circles?
 
2013-01-01 09:20:07 PM
Bethany Hamilton to win it hand down.
 
2013-01-01 09:21:22 PM
Ugh, I really wanted to say something nice, its just that she isn't anything special...


www.rumela.com
 
2013-01-01 09:36:21 PM
David Chokachi? He was the native American guy from Voyager, right?
 
2013-01-01 09:41:48 PM

Barricaded Gunman: David Chokachi? He was the native American guy from Voyager, right?


No, he's the guy from X-Files.
 
2013-01-01 09:41:59 PM

7th Son of a 7th Son: Bethany Hamilton? Won't she just swim in circles?


Nah. She had some trouble with it, but she's all right now. I'm looking forward to her specialty dive, "One Hand Clapping", though.
 
2013-01-01 10:00:58 PM

you are a puppet: Quite a list of celebs. If the six of them were sitting at a table I'd say "Hey, isn't that TO over at that table sitting with 5 random people?"


I lol'd.
 
2013-01-01 10:06:35 PM
Chokachicken?
 
2013-01-01 10:12:04 PM

Spanky_McFarksalot: we're only a couple more years away from its return...

[borgdotcom.files.wordpress.com image 650x300]
/the show I mean, I think everyone in the pic is dead

I'm ok with that. At least it seemed like good clean fun.
 
2013-01-01 10:17:30 PM
cdn103.iofferphoto.com
 
2013-01-01 10:18:42 PM

OregonVet: How about celebrity muff diving instead.


Dated slang is dated...no woman has "muff" anymore.
 
2013-01-01 10:19:59 PM

OregonVet: How about celebrity muff diving instead.


...but I should have added that it doesn't detract from the merit of your offering.
 
2013-01-01 10:21:10 PM
Didn't Fox do this already?

i.a.cnn.net
 
2013-01-01 11:14:03 PM

eCurmudgeon: Didn't Fox do this already?

[i.a.cnn.net image 400x304]


Or SNL....Could be Balkan Dirt Diving!
 
2013-01-01 11:15:53 PM

eCurmudgeon: Didn't Fox do this already?

[i.a.cnn.net image 400x304]


here is the clip
Dirt Diving
 
2013-01-01 11:31:28 PM

Apos: Coco LaFemme: Have we reached the nadir of Western civilization yet?  Because I think this show is a signpost that it's coming up.

There will always be a lower rung of mindless buffoonery- right up until Armageddon's first battle

mud wrestling.
 
2013-01-01 11:35:45 PM

unfarkingbelievable: I used to be an AAU competitive diver a long time ago. I started diving competitively when I was 4. It is NOT easy and can be extremely dangerous -- which, to my lament, is why nobody has diving boards anymore. Kills me.


This.

I had a buddy who was competitive at the state level in HS and outside comps, and the training required was incredible Someone is going to get hurt.

/I'll laugh
//window seat.
 
2013-01-01 11:36:44 PM
Originally a Fox Sports commercial (with the tagline "Sports news from the only region you care about - yours").

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lElp0CJa_Cg
 
2013-01-01 11:42:30 PM
Heh....this was the same batch of celebs that was doing that "Stars in Danger" bit last season; they were supposed to be doing real Special Ops training that was going to culminate in a real Special Ops mission? It barely made it past the second episode, after Stephen Colbert ripped them a new one almost before the first commercial and then someone either got cold feet or realized that it was HAAAARRRRDD to be a soldier and bailed.

Now they're diving. It's very sad.
 
2013-01-02 12:32:47 AM

Dools: unfarkingbelievable: I used to be an AAU competitive diver a long time ago. I started diving competitively when I was 4. It is NOT easy and can be extremely dangerous -- which, to my lament, is why nobody has diving boards anymore. Kills me.

This.

I had a buddy who was competitive at the state level in HS and outside comps, and the training required was incredible Someone is going to get hurt.

/I'll laugh
//window seat.


That's even better baby.
 
2013-01-02 12:39:04 AM

Coco LaFemme: Have we reached the nadir of Western civilization yet?  Because I think this show is a signpost that it's coming up.


Did you ever watch TV in the 70s? The nadir was reached long ago.
 
2013-01-02 12:41:09 AM
Alexandra Paul. "Celebrity" diving. Yeah, sounds about right. Let's get Kirk Cameron and his sister on there and make it a star studded bash.
 
2013-01-02 12:42:55 AM

Mutt Farkinov: OregonVet: How about celebrity muff diving instead.

Dated slang is dated...no woman has "muff" anymore.


The hatred for female pubic hair should stop. Sure, there were wild untamed thickets, but you had beautiful muffs like Donna Edmonson's
 
2013-01-02 12:44:44 AM

Winterlight: Coco LaFemme: Have we reached the nadir of Western civilization yet?

We hit that back in the '70s with Battle of the Network Stars

/ link goes to Cheryl Tiegs vs Victoria Principal, with bonus hot shorts apperance


Mackenzie Phillips out "sick". LOL
 
2013-01-02 12:44:58 AM

StoPPeRmobile: [cdn103.iofferphoto.com image 396x555]


Nice ovaries.
 
2013-01-02 01:01:46 AM
I want to see Celebrity Dumpster Diving.
 
2013-01-02 01:10:10 AM

Gyrfalcon: Heh....this was the same batch of celebs that was doing that "Stars in Danger" bit last season; they were supposed to be doing real Special Ops training that was going to culminate in a real Special Ops mission? It barely made it past the second episode, after Stephen Colbert ripped them a new one almost before the first commercial and then someone either got cold feet or realized that it was HAAAARRRRDD to be a soldier and bailed.

Now they're diving. It's very sad.


Wait until the first "celebrity" slips on a high platform dive, sprains an ankle, bounces off, and then breaks both wrists thanks to an open-hand entry. Imagine the horror as rescuers have to use a friggin' harness to fish them out of the pool, because they can't swim, can't stand, and can't grab the edge or use the ladder.

The next "celebrity", determined not to be upstaged by our new tripelegic, decides to go "all out" and execute a backflip - knocking himself unconscious and fracturing his skull on the platform edge. He hits the water like twenty stone of entertainment derelict, sinks right to the bottom, and inhales enough pool to make the next episode a friggin' memorial.

Here's to the very real possibility that they don't shoot three episodes of this crap.
 
2013-01-02 01:35:33 AM

FormlessOne: Gyrfalcon: Heh....this was the same batch of celebs that was doing that "Stars in Danger" bit last season; they were supposed to be doing real Special Ops training that was going to culminate in a real Special Ops mission? It barely made it past the second episode, after Stephen Colbert ripped them a new one almost before the first commercial and then someone either got cold feet or realized that it was HAAAARRRRDD to be a soldier and bailed.

Now they're diving. It's very sad.

Wait until the first "celebrity" slips on a high platform dive, sprains an ankle, bounces off, and then breaks both wrists thanks to an open-hand entry. Imagine the horror as rescuers have to use a friggin' harness to fish them out of the pool, because they can't swim, can't stand, and can't grab the edge or use the ladder.

The next "celebrity", determined not to be upstaged by our new tripelegic, decides to go "all out" and execute a backflip - knocking himself unconscious and fracturing his skull on the platform edge. He hits the water like twenty stone of entertainment derelict, sinks right to the bottom, and inhales enough pool to make the next episode a friggin' memorial.

Here's to the very real possibility that they don't shoot three episodes of this crap.


Nobody will get hurt that bad. The same thing happened in the Spec Ops show-that-wasn't. The celebrities realized that they could SERIOUSLY get hurt playing with genuine guns and honest-to-god grenades and bailed. The first time one of these idiots slips on the wet concrete and gets a cracked wrist or a bad concussion, that will be it.
 
2013-01-02 01:49:37 AM

LonMead: -Jenni "JWOWW" Farley of "Jersey Shore"

It's good that they included someone who brings her own flotation devices...


There are soo many ways I'd disappoint her.
 
2013-01-02 02:00:08 AM
I'm pretty buzzed, but did I read that correctly? Celebrity diving? Am I the only one hoping someone Greg Louganous or whatever the diving board?
 
2013-01-02 07:23:44 AM
I thought it said "Celebrity Driving" which would be loads more fun.

cdnl.complex.com
www.blogcdn.com
 
2013-01-02 07:37:51 AM
Celebrity diving? Sidney Crosby would win this hands down
 
2013-01-02 07:59:48 AM

Dr.Zom: Winterlight: Coco LaFemme: Have we reached the nadir of Western civilization yet?

We hit that back in the '70s with Battle of the Network Stars

/ link goes to Cheryl Tiegs vs Victoria Principal, with bonus hot shorts apperance

A friend of mine has a VHS tape of every second of Linda Carter's appearances. Every. Second. He's since transferred it to digital. But he still has the tape.


Sounds very....useful.
 
2013-01-02 08:40:42 AM

Lionel Mandrake: I don't even know what the word "celebrity" means any more.


I'm really starting to wonder if all these (stupid!!!!) reality shows are just factories to create more celebrities - for more celebrity reality shows.
 
2013-01-02 08:40:52 AM
I read that as "celebrity dRiving" and was wondering why no Lohan or Spears.
 
2013-01-02 09:01:30 AM
How much would it take to bribe one of the execs to let loose a small number of piranha and/or really hungry sharks while the "celebrities" are diving?

I'd settle for horny dolphins, but blood is better ratings.
 
2013-01-02 09:26:19 AM

Gyrfalcon: Heh....this was the same batch of celebs that was doing that "Stars in Danger" bit last season; they were supposed to be doing real Special Ops training that was going to culminate in a real Special Ops mission? It barely made it past the second episode, after Stephen Colbert ripped them a new one almost before the first commercial and then someone either got cold feet or realized that it was HAAAARRRRDD to be a soldier and bailed.

Now they're diving. It's very sad.


But they did air those episodes. I watched them. I don't see how they were so unsafe unless someone failed gun safety practices in a part they didn't show. It was celebrity target practice with semiautomatic rifles and pistols and a variety of dumb "insertion" sequences where a team would be dropped into water from a helicopter and have to swim 20 feet with a lifeguard treading water right next to them, or something similar. Lots of Bromance between Dean Cain and his Special Ops teammates, and a couple of hot chicks with barely perceptible celebrity status that shot pretty good. Oh yeah, and Todd Palin was there and they did everything they could to avoid mentioning that his main claim to fame is that he is married to Sarah Palin.
 
2013-01-02 09:50:21 AM

steve_wmn: Gyrfalcon: Heh....this was the same batch of celebs that was doing that "Stars in Danger" bit last season; they were supposed to be doing real Special Ops training that was going to culminate in a real Special Ops mission? It barely made it past the second episode, after Stephen Colbert ripped them a new one almost before the first commercial and then someone either got cold feet or realized that it was HAAAARRRRDD to be a soldier and bailed.

Now they're diving. It's very sad.

But they did air those episodes. I watched them. I don't see how they were so unsafe unless someone failed gun safety practices in a part they didn't show. It was celebrity target practice with semiautomatic rifles and pistols and a variety of dumb "insertion" sequences where a team would be dropped into water from a helicopter and have to swim 20 feet with a lifeguard treading water right next to them, or something similar. Lots of Bromance between Dean Cain and his Special Ops teammates, and a couple of hot chicks with barely perceptible celebrity status that shot pretty good. Oh yeah, and Todd Palin was there and they did everything they could to avoid mentioning that his main claim to fame is that he is married to Sarah Palin.


And that was NBC ("Stars Earn Stripes"), not FOX.
 
2013-01-02 10:08:21 AM
It's really gotten to the point where there are so many bad shows that anyone who was ever once a celebrity or famous for 15 minutes can find another gig on TV. I wonder if California has a shortage of waiters.
 
2013-01-02 10:37:38 AM

Coco LaFemme: Have we reached the nadir of Western civilization yet?  Because I think this show is a signpost that it's coming up.


I kinda thought this was a step up from Honey Boo Boo.
 
2013-01-02 11:20:34 AM
t1.gstatic.com

Chokachi Chokachi Chokachi Chokachi
 
2013-01-02 01:34:59 PM

wrenchboy: Celebrity diving? Sidney Crosby would win this hands down


Lol'd, would lol again
 
2013-01-02 01:36:48 PM
25.media.tumblr.com

No different
 
2013-01-02 01:41:48 PM

Spanky_McFarksalot: I think everyone in the pic is dead


Gabe Kaplan would be very surprised to hear that he's dead. I'm sure he's grinding cash games in Vegas as we speak.
 
2013-01-02 03:49:24 PM

OregonVet: How about celebrity muff diving instead.


Can't do it, that idea is too awesome.
 
2013-01-02 04:00:16 PM

katerbug72: [25.media.tumblr.com image 500x370]

No different


No way that scene plays out as awesomely as that looks. Alex Trebek about to pull off some Houdini shiat? Did he actually nail the trick?
 
2013-01-02 05:48:34 PM

swaxhog: I thought it said "Celebrity Driving" which would be loads more fun.

[cdnl.complex.com image 620x400]
[www.blogcdn.com image 450x281]


Why am I not surprised the stupid coont is using an iPhone?

/the i-am-a-moron-Phone
 
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