If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Atlanta Journal Constitution)   Take my Walmart parking space? That's a rammin'   (ajc.com) divider line 131
    More: Stupid, Cartersville Walmart, SUV, parking spaces, Bartow County  
•       •       •

10788 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Jan 2013 at 1:28 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



131 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
Pud [TotalFark]
2013-01-01 11:23:34 AM
t2.gstatic.com

She just has better insurance.
 
2013-01-01 11:53:14 AM
i1079.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-01 12:00:27 PM

Pud: [t2.gstatic.com image 256x144]

She just has better insurance.


I should have known this joke would have been taken by the time my lazy ass got here.
 
2013-01-01 12:05:56 PM
Charge the daughter with lying to the police.
 
2013-01-01 12:35:36 PM
I'm so glad she's on the school board. She's obviously so good with kids. Level headed and rational, too.
 
2013-01-01 12:37:04 PM

Pud: [t2.gstatic.com image 256x144]

She just has better insurance.


Came for Tuwanda, leaving satisfied (and a little bit scared).
 
2013-01-01 12:39:06 PM
According to a police report, a 17-year-old girl stood in a parking spot at the Cartersville Walmart to hold it for a friend who had just given birth.

She didn't want the friend to have to walk too far into the store.


There are two things the idiot teen could have done here.  1) Grab a mobility cart for her friend so that she wouldn't have to risk losing babby weight by walking around, and 2) Not had her friend go to freaking WalMart with her right after giving birth.
 
2013-01-01 01:06:16 PM

The My Little Pony Killer: According to a police report, a 17-year-old girl stood in a parking spot at the Cartersville Walmart to hold it for a friend who had just given birth.

She didn't want the friend to have to walk too far into the store.

There are two things the idiot teen could have done here.  1) Grab a mobility cart for her friend so that she wouldn't have to risk losing babby weight by walking around, and 2) Not had her friend go to freaking WalMart with her right after giving birth.


How many things could the idiot adult school board member have done?
 
2013-01-01 01:15:25 PM
I had a similar experience some years ago at the Bridgewater mall in NJ.

I was about to pull into a space when a girl jumped out of the car she was in (in the next aisle of over) and jumped in the spot as I was pulling in.  I stopped halfway in and she is shouting that she's not going to move.  I let her know I wasn't going to either and that it was nice and toasty warm in my car while she was freezing.  Her boyfriend drives around, says something to her and then drives off.  She waited another few minutes and then I got my space.
 
2013-01-01 01:35:20 PM
I have never seen a distance in a Wal-Mart parking lot that is greater than that of one that you would walk into the store, even to get a single item. Listen, asshats, it isn't my fault you or your friend gave birth. Maybe you should let your friend rest in the car, and you go make the purchases.

Aside from that, anyone who tries to "save" a parking spot, is a douchebag.
 
2013-01-01 01:41:08 PM
Half the reason I don't shop at Wal*Mart is because everything they sell sucks. The other half of the reason is that I don't want to be around people who shop at Wal*Mart.
 
2013-01-01 01:41:28 PM
Is it too soon to talk about banning SUVs?
 
2013-01-01 01:44:06 PM
They can say she was in right in her eulogy.
www.festivals.com
Don't block the space in a SUV fight.
 
2013-01-01 01:44:53 PM
Given the size of the typical Walmart patron and their inability to waddle normal distances without gasping for breath, I'm surprised there aren't more of these parking lot incidents.

/Park away from the store, the walk will do your body good
 
2013-01-01 01:45:09 PM

BunkyBrewman: I had a similar experience some years ago at the Bridgewater mall in NJ.

I was about to pull into a space when a girl jumped out of the car she was in (in the next aisle of over) and jumped in the spot as I was pulling in.  I stopped halfway in and she is shouting that she's not going to move.  I let her know I wasn't going to either and that it was nice and toasty warm in my car while she was freezing.  Her boyfriend drives around, says something to her and then drives off.  She waited another few minutes and then I got my space.


I wouldn't have parked there after that, I'd be thinking about the psycho girl coming back and keying my car the whole time I was in the mall.
 
2013-01-01 01:46:33 PM
School boards are made up of terrorizers.
 
2013-01-01 01:47:40 PM
My hover round doesn't have a full charge, can't risk getting a spot towards the back.
 
2013-01-01 01:50:45 PM
Ban cars......
 
2013-01-01 01:52:09 PM
Funny, it seems that when non-public-officials, especially non-white ones even bump someone with a motor vehicle around these parts, they're not charged with malicious mischief, but ATTEMPTED VEHICULAR MANSLAUGHTER or ASSAULT WITH A DEADLY WEAPON. Which is it?
 
2013-01-01 01:52:51 PM

LarryDan43: My hover round doesn't have a full charge, can't risk getting a spot towards the back.


If the Handi spots are full, I go to the back of the lot and call it my exercise for the day.
With the limp, my steps per day are a lot easier to hit.
Costco needs more parking, all parking.
 
2013-01-01 01:53:09 PM
occamswrist
Is it too soon to talk about banning SUVs?


Hasn't the invisible hand of the free market taken care of that?
 
2013-01-01 01:54:12 PM

dryknife: School boards are made up of terrorizers.


Worse: they terrorize each other
Fark: they terrorize themselves
 
2013-01-01 01:55:48 PM
There's just something about parking spaces that turns people crazy. My wife's like this: She'll want me to drive around the lot for 10 minutes, stalking people walking out of the store, rather than just going to park in the boonies and be done with it. "Oh look, those two are walking to their car, sit here and clog up this lane for 3 minutes while we wait for them to leave."

It's like, woman, do you know who I am? Are you familiar with my past works? If my foot had just been chopped off I wouldn't do that.
 
2013-01-01 02:00:03 PM

jayhawk88: There's just something about parking spaces that turns people crazy. My wife's like this: She'll want me to drive around the lot for 10 minutes, stalking people walking out of the store, rather than just going to park in the boonies and be done with it. "Oh look, those two are walking to their car, sit here and clog up this lane for 3 minutes while we wait for them to leave."

It's like, woman, do you know who I am? Are you familiar with my past works? If my foot had just been chopped off I wouldn't do that.


I pulled into a Wal-Mart parking lot the other day, and pulled into the first spot that was close enough that I wouldn't have to worry about turning around at the front of the store. My girlfriend acted like it was the worst thing I have ever done in my life.
 
2013-01-01 02:00:54 PM
Watching that video and the reporter standing right in an empty parking space, I was just waiting for someone to drive up and try to park there. That would have been ironic... or kismet... or something.
 
2013-01-01 02:03:53 PM
Not so much in the mugshot, but in her official school board photo she has the 'my shiat don't stink' look to her.

Ban SUVs.
 
2013-01-01 02:05:29 PM
gator213.hostgator.com

/obscure?
 
2013-01-01 02:06:30 PM

jayhawk88: There's just something about parking spaces that turns people crazy. My wife's like this: She'll want me to drive around the lot for 10 minutes, stalking people walking out of the store, rather than just going to park in the boonies and be done with it. "Oh look, those two are walking to their car, sit here and clog up this lane for 3 minutes while we wait for them to leave."

It's like, woman, do you know who I am? Are you familiar with my past works? If my foot had just been chopped off I wouldn't do that.


I would be divorced from that nonsense so fast her head would spin.
 
2013-01-01 02:07:44 PM

occamswrist: Is it too soon to talk about banning SUVs?


It's NOT the SUV, it's the person driving the SUV !
 
2013-01-01 02:08:20 PM

RogermcAllen: [gator213.hostgator.com image 400x300]

/obscure?


Even though it was THE Boobies in this thread, yes. To me, anyway.
 
2013-01-01 02:09:04 PM
What's the point of standing in a parking spot to save it if you're going to give it up to the first car that drives by?

I think everything turned out as it should have.
 
2013-01-01 02:10:37 PM
See, this is further proof that our educational system is in dire need of a complete overhaul. I mean what self respecting 17 year old would let that opportunity slip by? At 17(seriously, 1 year left until big boy consequences) I'd have been back 10 min later, it's winter so ski mask on and in about 5 min, all four tires slashed, superglue in the locks and window molding, key marks (carve my farking name in your hood) and dents everywhere and depending on who I was with that day possibly rocks through the windows (I was too much of a pussy for that shiat). No self respecting teen would have called the cops in my day, where's the fun in that? I blame no child left behind.....

I am disappoint

/today's teens are pussies
 
2013-01-01 02:12:58 PM

TheOtherGuy: Funny, it seems that when non-public-officials, especially non-white ones even bump someone with a motor vehicle around these parts, they're not charged with malicious mischief, but ATTEMPTED VEHICULAR MANSLAUGHTER or ASSAULT WITH A DEADLY WEAPON. Which is it?


I was wondering how she got off so lightly too. Pushing someone with an SUV is as potentially dangerous as giving someone "just a flesh wound" with a sword or "just nicking him" with a gun.

/cool, Monty Python AND Crocodile Dundee references.
 
2013-01-01 02:16:14 PM
Why not just park smack dab in the middle of the crosswalk in front of the front doors to unload the person and hold up everyone else like a normal murkin?
/no snark, well a little
//knows they might be handicapped
///but maybe just lazy
 
2013-01-01 02:17:19 PM
Take my Walmart parking space? That's a rammin'

images3.wikia.nocookie.net2.bp.blogspot.com
Angry wimmin

Ain't nuthin to park with
 
2013-01-01 02:18:07 PM

namegoeshere: I'm so glad she's on the school board. She's obviously so good with kids. Level headed and rational, too.


In Atlanta they normally shoot people who take your Walmart parking space. Obviously this kind, gentle, and caring school board member is a cut above the general population.
 
2013-01-01 02:18:40 PM

BunkyBrewman: I had a similar experience some years ago at the Bridgewater mall in NJ.

I was about to pull into a space when a girl jumped out of the car she was in (in the next aisle of over) and jumped in the spot as I was pulling in.  I stopped halfway in and she is shouting that she's not going to move.  I let her know I wasn't going to either and that it was nice and toasty warm in my car while she was freezing.  Her boyfriend drives around, says something to her and then drives off.  She waited another few minutes and then I got my space.


stay in PA where you belong, shiat for brains.
 
2013-01-01 02:19:35 PM
And that makes reason #38 why I won't shop at Walmart.
 
2013-01-01 02:21:45 PM

wombatsrus: Given the size of the typical Walmart patron and their inability to waddle normal distances without gasping for breath, I'm surprised there aren't more of these parking lot incidents.

/Park away from the store, the walk will do your body good


Good point but, When I park waaayyy in the back like clockwork I come back out there's always someone that parks one foot off my door in the middle of nowhere. I'm a fan of on the spot hangings for minor traffic violations.
 
2013-01-01 02:26:59 PM
People who STAND in parking spaces to hold it for their buddies should be RUN OVER, as per the article.

Congratulations to the driver of the SUV.
 
2013-01-01 02:27:27 PM
i think i speak for everyone when i say thank God she didn't have an assault weapon with a barrel shroud and high capacity clips or she might have killed half the town!
 
2013-01-01 02:27:49 PM
Ah, Wal-Mart, land of civility and civilization...
 
2013-01-01 02:29:21 PM
Go passive/agressive on them, let them have the space, wait as they walk away - then sugar in the tank/etc.
 
2013-01-01 02:29:26 PM

GentlemanJ: Ah, Wal-Mart, land of civility and civilization...


You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
 
2013-01-01 02:30:56 PM
What, only me?  I'd hit it.
bwahahahah
 
2013-01-01 02:33:30 PM
I wonder if said teen blocking parking space was big enough to pass for an SUV herself.
 
2013-01-01 02:38:41 PM
Walmart parking lot action...

www.ontariocountyfair.org
 
2013-01-01 02:40:20 PM

BunkyBrewman: I had a similar experience some years ago at the Bridgewater mall in NJ.

I was about to pull into a space when a girl jumped out of the car she was in (in the next aisle of over) and jumped in the spot as I was pulling in.  I stopped halfway in and she is shouting that she's not going to move.  I let her know I wasn't going to either and that it was nice and toasty warm in my car while she was freezing.  Her boyfriend drives around, says something to her and then drives off.  She waited another few minutes and then I got my space.


CSB, but you lose points for not leaning on the horn and posting the whole thing to Youtube.
 
2013-01-01 02:41:42 PM
In the report, Cornett's daughter corroborated her mother's story, according to Channel 2.

Have to seriously wonder why the daughter wasn't charged with obstruction or making a fall statement (or some other "term" police have or make up on the spot) for this... she was shown to be full of shiat by the video the police saw.
 
2013-01-01 02:43:31 PM

slimfast: Walmart parking lot action...

[www.ontariocountyfair.org image 690x517]


nice try, not enough confederate flags
 
2013-01-01 02:46:38 PM

BunkyBrewman: I had a similar experience some years ago at the Bridgewater mall in NJ.

I was about to pull into a space when a girl jumped out of the car she was in (in the next aisle of over) and jumped in the spot as I was pulling in.  I stopped halfway in and she is shouting that she's not going to move.  I let her know I wasn't going to either and that it was nice and toasty warm in my car while she was freezing.  Her boyfriend drives around, says something to her and then drives off.  She waited another few minutes and then I got my space.


Funny, same thing happened when I was with my cousin back in 84' or 85, my cousin was driving and it was freezing outside; we were only quarter way in though.
She said the same thing, "I ain't moving, you'll have to find another spot."
My cousin put it in park, gave her the biggest smile he could muster, pulled out the bag of chips he bought at the last store and started eating.
It didn't take long before she realized that her Members Only jacket wasn't meant for tempatures in the 30s.

Thanks for bringing back such a funny memory.
 
2013-01-01 02:47:17 PM

jayhawk88: There's just something about parking spaces that turns people crazy. My wife's like this: She'll want me to drive around the lot for 10 minutes, stalking people walking out of the store, rather than just going to park in the boonies and be done with it. "Oh look, those two are walking to their car, sit here and clog up this lane for 3 minutes while we wait for them to leave."

It's like, woman, do you know who I am? Are you familiar with my past works? If my foot had just been chopped off I wouldn't do that.


the juggernaut? biatch?
 
2013-01-01 02:50:17 PM
 
2013-01-01 02:50:37 PM
I have to admire the courage (well, stupidity really) of someone willing to play chicken with a car over a parking spot. Best case is you eventually give up, worst case you actually get hit by the car or someone's fist. Maybe it works often enough to justify the risk, but I'd be surprised.
 
2013-01-01 02:51:26 PM
There is no greater injustice facing the human condition than having to walk more than thirty feet to the door of one's retail establishment of choice.
 
2013-01-01 02:54:48 PM

The My Little Pony Killer: There are two things the idiot teen could have done here.  1) Grab a mobility cart for her friend so that she wouldn't have to risk losing babby weight by walking around, and 2) Not had her friend go to freaking WalMart with her right after giving birth.


You are absolutely right. However, vehicular assault is absolutely not a proper response. The driver is by far the bad guy here and deserves anything that happens to her.
 
2013-01-01 02:55:55 PM
Also standing in a spot to save a parking place? Yes, you're an idiot.
 
2013-01-01 02:56:49 PM
As a side note this is the Wal Mart where someone kept putting hypodermic needles in random clothes so people would get poked by them.

It also has reinforced floors and extra wide aisles because there are a lot of ginormous women who shop there.
 
2013-01-01 02:58:34 PM

jonny_q: You are absolutely right. However, vehicular assault is absolutely not a proper response.


Agreed. She should have simply blocked the space with her vehicle and waited for the girl to leave or flagged down security.
 
2013-01-01 02:58:55 PM

The Angry Hand of God: jayhawk88: There's just something about parking spaces that turns people crazy. My wife's like this: She'll want me to drive around the lot for 10 minutes, stalking people walking out of the store, rather than just going to park in the boonies and be done with it. "Oh look, those two are walking to their car, sit here and clog up this lane for 3 minutes while we wait for them to leave."

It's like, woman, do you know who I am? Are you familiar with my past works? If my foot had just been chopped off I wouldn't do that.

I pulled into a Wal-Mart parking lot the other day, and pulled into the first spot that was close enough that I wouldn't have to worry about turning around at the front of the store. My girlfriend acted like it was the worst thing I have ever done in my life.


My mother and sister are like this. It is like the end of the world if they have to walk more than 10 feet. Holding up traffic for 10 minutes doesn't bother them. That spot near the front is theirs and they will have it even it requires blood sacrifice.
 
2013-01-01 02:59:27 PM
I don't shop at walmart because:
the crap they sell is poor in quality
most of the people who shop there are a goddamn freakshow

I haven't set foot in a walmart in 5 years.

also, don't block parking spaces. it's a coonty move.
 
2013-01-01 02:59:45 PM

jayhawk88: There's just something about parking spaces that turns people crazy. My wife's like this: She'll want me to drive around the lot for 10 minutes, stalking people walking out of the store, rather than just going to park in the boonies and be done with it. "Oh look, those two are walking to their car, sit here and clog up this lane for 3 minutes while we wait for them to leave."


Oh wow... people that, well, I guess, like your wife... are the worst people in the world. I have been trapped behind that person before. You can't go around them. You can't back up. You're just stuck behind that asshole while they wait for someone else to APPROACH THEIR CAR, INSERT GROCERIES, and then MAYBE pull out after that. I had some girls boyfriend go apeshiat at me once because I honked like hell at them for that stupid shiat. That was probably 10 years ago and is still one of the most infuriating experiences to think about.
 
2013-01-01 02:59:46 PM

Thank You Black Jesus!: There is no greater injustice facing the human condition than having to walk more than thirty feet to the door of one's retail establishment of choice.


Walking?

at Walmart?

www.northlandmachinery.com

/ I think not.
 
2013-01-01 03:00:03 PM

TheMega: In the report, Cornett's daughter corroborated her mother's story, according to Channel 2.

Have to seriously wonder why the daughter wasn't charged with obstruction or making a fall statement (or some other "term" police have or make up on the spot) for this... she was shown to be full of shiat by the video the police saw.


Maybe they took pity on her for having that for a mom.
 
2013-01-01 03:00:30 PM

RogermcAllen: [gator213.hostgator.com image 400x300]

/obscure?


Isn't that from Fried Green Tomatoes? I didn't know that movie was considered obscure to anyone.  Anyway, whenever the boyfriend and I go anywhere that has a huge parking lot, we always park all the way in the very back, as far as possible from the doors.  The smug satisfaction we feel passing people who aren't elderly or disabled that parked real close to the doors.....just can't get that anywhere else.  If there's nothing wrong with you physically and you're not over 60, save those spots for the people who need them.  Park in the back where no one else parks because they're all too busy trying to get that first non-handicapped spot closest to the doors.
 
2013-01-01 03:00:56 PM
I don't see the big deal about saving a parking spot for a friend who had just given birth. I'd never save a spot because it's silly, but if I did see somebody do it I wouldn't get mad .. I'd just think "That's silly" and then park somewhere else. It's not like you win a prize if you get into a certain spot.
 
2013-01-01 03:01:06 PM

TheGreatGazoo: It also has reinforced floors and extra wide aisles because there are a lot of ginormous women who shop there.


Oh God, I fell through the foundation and can't get up!!! Why didn't someone think to plan for when Big Beautiful Women enter the store!!!
 
2013-01-01 03:03:08 PM

Thank You Black Jesus!: There is no greater injustice facing the human condition than having to walk more than thirty feet to the door of one's retail establishment of choice.


This is funny when they're going to the gym.

Srsly?
 
2013-01-01 03:03:46 PM

The Angry Hand of God: jayhawk88: There's just something about parking spaces that turns people crazy. My wife's like this: She'll want me to drive around the lot for 10 minutes, stalking people walking out of the store, rather than just going to park in the boonies and be done with it. "Oh look, those two are walking to their car, sit here and clog up this lane for 3 minutes while we wait for them to leave."

It's like, woman, do you know who I am? Are you familiar with my past works? If my foot had just been chopped off I wouldn't do that.

I pulled into a Wal-Mart parking lot the other day, and pulled into the first spot that was close enough that I wouldn't have to worry about turning around at the front of the store. My girlfriend acted like it was the worst thing I have ever done in my life.


An old friend used to do that. Every time he made a big deal I made a point to park a little further the next time we went somewhere. He promised to stop when I parked about 1/4 mile from the store across a couple streets, didn't say a word, just got out and started walking.
 
2013-01-01 03:05:09 PM
I like to, sometimes, walk back to my vehicle and see someone waiting for me to pull out and i just sit there and wait till they take off in frustration.
 
2013-01-01 03:05:58 PM
Another appropriate clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBvysuewIOs
 
2013-01-01 03:06:53 PM
I try to park away from the insanity. I'm young and healthy and I don't want to interact with anyone else at Wal*Mart any more than possible.

No matter how far back you park, it seems that everyone wants to park next to you. Its as if the parking lot fills to include you. I'm thankful that Costco has those extra-wide spots so you can load your car and I wish more stores did that.

I always have a little chuckle to myself at any store when I've pulled in and parked in a "remote" spot and the guy who came in before me is still driving around. That close spot just isn't worth wasting all that time to get it.

/I always hope to see a fire truck come by and ram everyone who's so lazy they park in the fire lane.
 
2013-01-01 03:07:05 PM

Setitie: I like to, sometimes, walk back to my vehicle and see someone waiting for me to pull out and i just sit there and wait till they take off in frustration.


I do this. Not if it's wicked crowded, but definitely if there are plenty of open spots a tiny bit farther away.
 
2013-01-01 03:07:36 PM
 
2013-01-01 03:11:27 PM

Setitie: I like to, sometimes, walk back to my vehicle and see someone waiting for me to pull out and i just sit there and wait till they take off in frustration.


I enjoy that when I'm at a strip mall or such and am just walking back to my car to throw stuff in between stores. People get so confused.
 
2013-01-01 03:11:31 PM
Shouldn't have been arrested, girl standing in space should have been arrested for being a dumb ass.
 
2013-01-01 03:13:33 PM

KrispyKritter: BunkyBrewman: I had a similar experience some years ago at the Bridgewater mall in NJ.

I was about to pull into a space when a girl jumped out of the car she was in (in the next aisle of over) and jumped in the spot as I was pulling in.  I stopped halfway in and she is shouting that she's not going to move.  I let her know I wasn't going to either and that it was nice and toasty warm in my car while she was freezing.  Her boyfriend drives around, says something to her and then drives off.  She waited another few minutes and then I got my space.

stay in PA where you belong, shiat for brains.


Sounds reasonable to me. She can stand in the spot as long as she pleases, I'll just park in front of it and wait as long as it takes for another of my choosing to open.

You don't play holdsies with parking spaces.
 
2013-01-01 03:13:33 PM
just because you got knocked up, don't expect special privileges, or other people to bend to your will. Its on you to make arrangements needed so you can go about your day with your kid/fetus. Dont ask other people to have to bend for you.
 
2013-01-01 03:13:40 PM

steamingpile: Shouldn't have been arrested, girl standing in space should have been arrested for being a dumb ass.


Its Wal-Mart. There's a pretty good chance that everyone involved is a dumb ass.
 
2013-01-01 03:13:51 PM

jonny_q: You are absolutely right. However, vehicular assault is absolutely not a proper response. The driver is by far the bad guy here and deserves anything that happens to her.


Why drive an SUV if you can't ram bad people out of your way?
 
2013-01-01 03:19:27 PM

Pud: [t2.gstatic.com image 256x144]

She just has better insurance.


This quote plays in my head whenever I feel slighted by teenage driver...
/I wouldn't follow-through...
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-01-01 03:30:55 PM
At a Trader Joe's near me the main parking lot is fed by a one lane, one way alley. Cars queue up in an orderly fashion (by physical necessity). If you pull into the main lot you're screwing yourself because you may be blocking a parked car from exiting. So it's usually calm. One car leaves, one car advances from alley into lot. Never seen a fight, nobody's pulled a gun. Sometimes a woman rams the building, but that's what women in parking lots do. An elegant layout for a more civilized age.

So I suggest Walmart employees should have to wear Hawaiian shirts and these parking problems will be solved.
 
2013-01-01 03:32:14 PM
 
2013-01-01 03:37:03 PM

Enemabag Jones: occamswrist
Is it too soon to talk about banning SUVs?

Hasn't the invisible hand of the free market taken care of that?



I think it depends a lot on the local culture.

Wisconsin's full of some of the cheapest cheapskates you'll find anywhere, so here in the Milwaukee metro area SUVs got a whole lot less popular the first time gas approached $4.00/gal., circa 2007-2008. The remaining ones pretty much disappeared overnight in 2009 thanks to "cash for clunkers". They're not that common anymore around here, anymore.

But cross the Illinois border and they're everywhere.
 
2013-01-01 03:39:20 PM

jayhawk88: There's just something about parking spaces that turns people women crazy. My wife's like this: She'll want me to drive around the lot for 10 minutes, stalking people walking out of the store, rather than just going to park in the boonies and be done with it. "Oh look, those two are walking to their car, sit here and clog up this lane for 3 minutes while we wait for them to leave."

It's like, woman, do you know who I am? Are you familiar with my past works? If my foot had just been chopped off I wouldn't do that.


FTFY
 
2013-01-01 03:43:56 PM

Setitie: I like to, sometimes, walk back to my vehicle and see someone waiting for me to pull out and i just sit there and wait till they take off in frustration.


I think I'd get counseling if passive aggression was all I had left.
 
2013-01-01 03:49:18 PM
Checks article

Yep, Bartow County...that Wal-Mart is almost as dangerous to shop at as the one in Hiram. Last October I was coming out of that store and some guy in a pickup truck was barreling through the main walkway and nearly hit several people, including an old man who started cursing at him and waving his cane.

I love the South, but the "my car is more important than your safety" attitude is rampant and annoying.
 
2013-01-01 03:58:57 PM

Rootus: Setitie: I like to, sometimes, walk back to my vehicle and see someone waiting for me to pull out and i just sit there and wait till they take off in frustration.

I think I'd get counseling if passive aggression was all I had left.


Passive aggression is the BEST route in some cases. Used against the right person it provokes an incredibly amusing visceral temporary insanity.
 
2013-01-01 03:59:07 PM

Coco LaFemme: RogermcAllen: [gator213.hostgator.com image 400x300]

/obscure?

Isn't that from Fried Green Tomatoes? I didn't know that movie was considered obscure to anyone.


Based on your handle, I assume you have two X chromosomes, so Fried Green Tomatoes would not be obscure to you. However, to those of us with an X and a Y chromosome, it might as well have been the Lifetime movie of the week.
 
2013-01-01 04:08:23 PM

Arcanaloth: BunkyBrewman: I had a similar experience some years ago at the Bridgewater mall in NJ.

I was about to pull into a space when a girl jumped out of the car she was in (in the next aisle of over) and jumped in the spot as I was pulling in.  I stopped halfway in and she is shouting that she's not going to move.  I let her know I wasn't going to either and that it was nice and toasty warm in my car while she was freezing.  Her boyfriend drives around, says something to her and then drives off.  She waited another few minutes and then I got my space.

I wouldn't have parked there after that, I'd be thinking about the psycho girl coming back and keying my car the whole time I was in the mall.


Take a pic of the girl and tell her if your car is touched, she is suspect number one. That usually will back them off, unless truly psycho.
 
2013-01-01 04:08:55 PM

KrispyKritter: BunkyBrewman: I had a similar experience some years ago at the Bridgewater mall in NJ.

I was about to pull into a space when a girl jumped out of the car she was in (in the next aisle of over) and jumped in the spot as I was pulling in.  I stopped halfway in and she is shouting that she's not going to move.  I let her know I wasn't going to either and that it was nice and toasty warm in my car while she was freezing.  Her boyfriend drives around, says something to her and then drives off.  She waited another few minutes and then I got my space.

stay in PA where you belong, shiat for brains.


I think Bunky handled it perfectly.  Patience is a virtue.
 
2013-01-01 04:14:45 PM

Setitie: I like to, sometimes, walk back to my vehicle and see someone waiting for me to pull out and i just sit there and wait till they take off in frustration.


Or halt suddenly, snap your fingers like "Shiat, I forgot something," the turn around and head back towards the store.  They'll leave faster.
 
2013-01-01 04:15:02 PM
FF Mac
Based on your handle, I assume you have two X chromosomes, so Fried Green Tomatoes would not be obscure to you. However, to those of us with an X and a Y chromosome, it might as well have been the Lifetime movie of the week.


You must see Beaches. Steel Magnolias is unforgettable. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants is also great.

Coco LaFemme: RogermcAllen: [gator213.hostgator.com image 400x300]

I didn't remember that scene from Misery, was it from deleted scenes?
 
2013-01-01 04:16:05 PM

The_Original_Roxtar: I don't shop at walmart because:
the crap they sell is poor in quality
most of the people who shop there are a goddamn freakshow

I haven't set foot in a walmart in 5 years.

also, don't block parking spaces. it's a coonty move.


Wow It must be SO cool to be that superior.
 
2013-01-01 04:24:03 PM
Man I woulda Farked that biatch - and her vehicle up!!
 
2013-01-01 04:28:43 PM

LemSkroob: just because you got knocked up, don't expect special privileges, or other people to bend to your will. Its on you to make arrangements needed so you can go about your day with your kid/fetus. Dont ask other people to have to bend for you.


Well, the new mom in question may have had a c-section and if you don't know a c-section is a surgery to the lower abdomen that leaves a wide scar. I do understand not making a woman who just had a c-section walk too far before borrowing a power cart once inside. I will say, if the 17 yro had a license or can move a vehicle safely, she should have dropped the new mom off and then park the car. They don't bother issuing handicap placards for outpatient surgeries. However when your lower stomach is held together by staples and bandages, walking can be a problem.

/have done this with my wife after two kids.
 
2013-01-01 04:29:03 PM

RogermcAllen: [gator213.hostgator.com image 400x300]

/obscure?


im not sure if it is obscure, but since i dont recognize it, you are required to offer a full explanation since typing obscure compelled me to respond to you, thus compelling you to respond to me, something that was not required of Pud in the comment that appeared at the top of the thread as per the geneva convention rule 43 as he did not invoke "obscure".

/i dont make the rules, i just abide by them.
//after making the rules up.
///yes, i know i said "compelled" twice.
////sssssssslashies
 
2013-01-01 04:31:54 PM

jmr61: The_Original_Roxtar: I don't shop at walmart because:
the crap they sell is poor in quality
most of the people who shop there are a goddamn freakshow

I haven't set foot in a walmart in 5 years.

also, don't block parking spaces. it's a coonty move.

Wow It must be SO cool to be that superior.


I just have a general contempt for humanity... and observation has taught me that I encounter the stuff I despise more often at walmart than at other retailers. I don't see 400 pound women munching on a box of cookies (that they haven't paid for yet) gliding down the aisles in mobility carts with 5 unruly kids in tow at Target. I saw it roughly half the time when I went to walmart.
 
2013-01-01 04:44:14 PM
Heading out, followd by parking vultures. Just walk a row or so over from where you're car is and check their faces when you cut across.

That's what I do
 
2013-01-01 05:13:15 PM

jmr61: The_Original_Roxtar: I don't shop at walmart because:
the crap they sell is poor in quality
most of the people who shop there are a goddamn freakshow

I haven't set foot in a walmart in 5 years.

also, don't block parking spaces. it's a coonty move.

Wow It must be SO cool to be that superior.


You sound poor.
 
2013-01-01 05:29:20 PM
I like to walk down aisle, then when I notice a car following me, I cut over two lanes to where my car is parked.
 
2013-01-01 05:31:15 PM
 
2013-01-01 05:35:20 PM
CSB:

I parked my '96 Firebird, forest green with gold highlights, striping, trim, and interior (I take pride in my car and occasionally show it), in walmart one day and went to get some things.  When I came out, some blonde bimbo was standing there at the front and I was worried that she had hit me. Her minivan was about a yard back in the parking space, and my Firebird was a foot back from the line. While I was listening to her trying to point out the damage, an Aberdeen cop pulled up and we both tried see where it got hurt. In Washington, we have license plates up front. I have a gold chrome plate holder right at the point of the front bumper, there was no way she was gonna touch anything but that holder. In addition, the screws holding the thing to the car were covered with a plastic, chromy-looking caps. It wasn't long before the cop was huddled up with her, in the rain, as she pointed out several scratches on her bumper. I called the cops attention to the caps, they weren't scratched at all. The bumper on my 'Bird was untouched, and her minivan had the usual collection of dings and scratches that all grocery-getters acquire. The cop wasn't listening to me, mostly because the bimbo stayed down by the bumper trying to show the cop everything. I told the cop that the van wasn't there when I pulled up, and wasn't near my car when I got there, and he should check to see if she had run this scam before. He was still checking for bumps. At the end, she got $1200 from my insurance, and I got my insurance cancelled.

the moral of the story:  Don't park your shiny, well-tended vehicle in a Walmart Parking lot. It ain't just purse-snatchers out there.

/End CSB
//biatch done stole my insurance
///only Aberdeen pretty
 
2013-01-01 05:35:57 PM
a2.img.mobypicture.com
 
2013-01-01 05:40:48 PM
How many of you Farkers who are backing this woman for ramming the girl with her SUV  would NEVER shoot a burglar trying to steal stuff from their home.
 
2013-01-01 05:45:55 PM

Pud: [t2.gstatic.com image 256x144]

She just has better insurance.


Towanda!
 
2013-01-01 06:06:18 PM

Matthew Keene: [a2.img.mobypicture.com image 514x514]


the free box in the middle (someone oblivious to the fact that they are in your way)---I just assume that anywhere I go, not just WM. Even at farking work. Really? You're talking to someone while standing in the f*cking doorway? Jesus, people, have a sense of your surroundings. If not, at least glance around now and then so I don't look like the asshole for saying EXCUSE ME.
 
2013-01-01 06:11:14 PM

John Buck 41: Matthew Keene: [a2.img.mobypicture.com image 514x514]

the free box in the middle (someone oblivious to the fact that they are in your way)---I just assume that anywhere I go, not just WM. Even at farking work. Really? You're talking to someone while standing in the f*cking doorway? Jesus, people, have a sense of your surroundings. If not, at least glance around now and then so I don't look like the asshole for saying EXCUSE ME.


Don't ya just love the ones who stop right outside the door to dig out a cigarette and light it before moving on...
 
2013-01-01 06:27:55 PM

ZAZ: At a Trader Joe's near me the main parking lot is fed by a one lane, one way alley. Cars queue up in an orderly fashion (by physical necessity). If you pull into the main lot you're screwing yourself because you may be blocking a parked car from exiting. So it's usually calm. One car leaves, one car advances from alley into lot. Never seen a fight, nobody's pulled a gun. Sometimes a woman rams the building, but that's what women in parking lots do. An elegant layout for a more civilized age.

So I suggest Walmart employees should have to wear Hawaiian shirts and these parking problems will be solved.


To park at my post office (the only one in town now, thanks to budget cutbacks), you have to turn off a busy street into an alley which runs along the back of the ten or so spaces. If there are no spots available, you can continue about twenty feet further down the alley to the bank parking lot, which always has plenty of space available. But, somehow, that simple and elegant solution has never occurred to many of my fellow townsfolk.

If no spots are immediately available, they will stop in the alley and wait. This, of course, cuts off access to the bank parking lot, as well as the drive-up mailboxes. Even more annoying are those who discover they cannot turn into the alley because it's blocked by someone waiting for a space. So, instead of circling around the block, or parking in the massive, empty lot half-a-block up, they stop in the middle of the busy street, their blinker signaling their futile intentions, while the traffic piles up behind them, honking and swearing.
 
2013-01-01 06:28:57 PM

Mikeyworld: John Buck 41: Matthew Keene: [a2.img.mobypicture.com image 514x514]

the free box in the middle (someone oblivious to the fact that they are in your way)---I just assume that anywhere I go, not just WM. Even at farking work. Really? You're talking to someone while standing in the f*cking doorway? Jesus, people, have a sense of your surroundings. If not, at least glance around now and then so I don't look like the asshole for saying EXCUSE ME.

Don't ya just love the ones who stop right outside the door to dig out a cigarette and light it before moving on...


Well, I'm a smoker and have always been able to walk and light up at the same time, but yeah, I'd have a problem with that.
 
2013-01-01 06:33:26 PM
I would hate to see what she does to the school kids when they don't let her cut in front of them in while in the lunch line.
 
2013-01-01 06:34:39 PM

The Angry Hand of God: jayhawk88: There's just something about parking spaces that turns people crazy. My wife's like this: She'll want me to drive around the lot for 10 minutes, stalking people walking out of the store, rather than just going to park in the boonies and be done with it. "Oh look, those two are walking to their car, sit here and clog up this lane for 3 minutes while we wait for them to leave."

It's like, woman, do you know who I am? Are you familiar with my past works? If my foot had just been chopped off I wouldn't do that.

I pulled into a Wal-Mart parking lot the other day, and pulled into the first spot that was close enough that I wouldn't have to worry about turning around at the front of the store. My girlfriend acted like it was the worst thing I have ever done in my life.


Yes. It doesn't matter *where* you park in the lot, what matters is how long it will take you to get out. Because there is nothing worse than waiting on the slow walkers in Walmart, waiting in line behind someone buying 26 2-liters of mountain dew and a 4 roll pack of toilet paper, and then waiting for to try to turn onto the 'main drag' in front of Walmart to try to go home.

You don't hit someone with your car because they are doing something that is not clearly illegal. If there is nothing wrong with people grabbing 150 on-sale towels on Black Friday then there is nothing wrong with standing in a spot to save it. Walmart encourages this behavior. I don't like it, I don't shop there...

I have a bad habit of wanting to walk really fast everywhere I go because I am used to walking/running for exercise. SO sometimes when I'm in the grocery store or mall I will jog a bit until I realize I look like an insane shoplifter.
 
2013-01-01 07:06:47 PM
I park far out away from other cars and walk my fat ass. I love it when parking space stalkers start following me out and then peel away angry when they realize I don't have a prime spot.
 
2013-01-01 08:24:43 PM

BarkingUnicorn: Setitie: I like to, sometimes, walk back to my vehicle and see someone waiting for me to pull out and i just sit there and wait till they take off in frustration.

Or halt suddenly, snap your fingers like "Shiat, I forgot something," the turn around and head back towards the store.  They'll leave faster.


The point is to annoy them. If you did that after getting in the car it would be great.
 
2013-01-01 08:27:02 PM

dickfreckle: Pud: [t2.gstatic.com image 256x144]

She just has better insurance.

I should have known this joke would have been taken by the time my lazy ass got here.


Someone took your joke before you arrived? You should ram them.
 
2013-01-01 08:28:25 PM

lack of warmth: LemSkroob: just because you got knocked up, don't expect special privileges, or other people to bend to your will. Its on you to make arrangements needed so you can go about your day with your kid/fetus. Dont ask other people to have to bend for you.

Well, the new mom in question may have had a c-section and if you don't know a c-section is a surgery to the lower abdomen that leaves a wide scar. I do understand not making a woman who just had a c-section walk too far before borrowing a power cart once inside. I will say, if the 17 yro had a license or can move a vehicle safely, she should have dropped the new mom off and then park the car. They don't bother issuing handicap placards for outpatient surgeries. However when your lower stomach is held together by staples and bandages, walking can be a problem.

/have done this with my wife after two kids.


I missed the part where she needs to be inside the walmart when her friend is ostensibly there to help her. She can't do the shopping for the new mother?
 
2013-01-01 08:30:58 PM

Matthew Keene: [a2.img.mobypicture.com image 514x514]


While there are dumber things on there, "someone oblivious to the fac that they're in your way" is retarded. Not everyone has grocery-store telepathy. SAY SOMETHING TO THEM.

"Excuse me, I need to get to the peas." Even people who don't speak English know what "excuse me" means.
 
2013-01-01 08:33:54 PM

spidermilk: If there is nothing wrong with people grabbing 150 on-sale towels on Black Friday then there is nothing wrong with standing in a spot to save it. Walmart encourages this behavior.


Is there an outline of shoes spray-painted onto the primo parking spots that says 'D-bag Here?'
 
2013-01-01 09:14:38 PM
Every person involved is an idiot. But it's Wal Mart so that's to be expected.
 
2013-01-01 09:16:49 PM
This card missed "hickeys" and "black eye."

a2.img.mobypicture.com
 
2013-01-01 09:28:45 PM

Mikeyworld: CSB:

I parked my '96 Firebird, forest green with gold highlights, striping, trim, and interior (I take pride in my car and occasionally show it), in walmart one day and went to get some things.  When I came out, some blonde bimbo was standing there at the front and I was worried that she had hit me. Her minivan was about a yard back in the parking space, and my Firebird was a foot back from the line. While I was listening to her trying to point out the damage, an Aberdeen cop pulled up and we both tried see where it got hurt. In Washington, we have license plates up front. I have a gold chrome plate holder right at the point of the front bumper, there was no way she was gonna touch anything but that holder. In addition, the screws holding the thing to the car were covered with a plastic, chromy-looking caps. It wasn't long before the cop was huddled up with her, in the rain, as she pointed out several scratches on her bumper. I called the cops attention to the caps, they weren't scratched at all. The bumper on my 'Bird was untouched, and her minivan had the usual collection of dings and scratches that all grocery-getters acquire. The cop wasn't listening to me, mostly because the bimbo stayed down by the bumper trying to show the cop everything. I told the cop that the van wasn't there when I pulled up, and wasn't near my car when I got there, and he should check to see if she had run this scam before. He was still checking for bumps. At the end, she got $1200 from my insurance, and I got my insurance cancelled.

the moral of the story:  Don't park your shiny, well-tended vehicle in a Walmart Parking lot. It ain't just purse-snatchers out there.

/End CSB
//biatch done stole my insurance
///only Aberdeen pretty


I'm not sure who is the bigger idiot...you for not getting your insurance company to pay attention to the lack of damage to your vehicle and fighting the claim and/or having the worst insurance company in the world, or your insurance company for paying her damages and cancelling you as well. This isn't CSB, it's BS.
 
2013-01-01 10:18:59 PM
Was in a grocery store today with $90 worth of stuff in my carriage. I pull into the only open line that isn't 12 items or less behind some guy on the verge of being homeless looking. He doesn't put the separator bar behind his SINGLE 2 LITER OF COKE which rang up at $1.79. So I reluctantly hold back my "hey thanks for moving the bar" sarcasm, but anyways. This farking idiot waits until the cashier gives him the insurmountable total of a dollar seventy nine to complain that he thought it was on sale!!!! He makes the bagger go look at the display and the cashier open the latest flier to see if he can save 30 farking cents. 7 minutes later he's like" it wouldn't be the first time I've been wrong". Then he whips out a pile of small change, mostly nickels and dimes and spends another 5 minutes trying to count out the change. I was so close to just paying for this assholes coke just to leave but it felt better afterwards to see him look like an idiot. BTW this store had 4 open lanes where you scan your own stuff and an open 12 or less isle.
 
2013-01-01 10:26:42 PM

laid back w/bud light: 7 minutes later


You can make your point w/o exagerating.
 
2013-01-01 10:30:50 PM

laid back w/bud light: Was in a grocery store today with $90 worth of stuff in my carriage. I pull into the only open line that isn't 12 items or less behind some guy on the verge of being homeless looking. He doesn't put the separator bar behind his SINGLE 2 LITER OF COKE which rang up at $1.79. So I reluctantly hold back my "hey thanks for moving the bar" sarcasm, but anyways. This farking idiot waits until the cashier gives him the insurmountable total of a dollar seventy nine to complain that he thought it was on sale!!!! He makes the bagger go look at the display and the cashier open the latest flier to see if he can save 30 farking cents. 7 minutes later he's like" it wouldn't be the first time I've been wrong". Then he whips out a pile of small change, mostly nickels and dimes and spends another 5 minutes trying to count out the change. I was so close to just paying for this assholes coke just to leave but it felt better afterwards to see him look like an idiot. BTW this store had 4 open lanes where you scan your own stuff and an open 12 or less isle.


Yeah, par for the course in grocery stores around the world. He could have asked for cigs so the clerk had to go to customer service to get them and then come back saying they're out of that brand and another trip to customer service to get his second choice. What's your point? So you can't reach and place a separator bar yourself?
 
2013-01-01 11:57:10 PM

John Buck 41: Matthew Keene: [a2.img.mobypicture.com image 514x514]

the free box in the middle (someone oblivious to the fact that they are in your way)---I just assume that anywhere I go, not just WM. Even at farking work. Really? You're talking to someone while standing in the f*cking doorway? Jesus, people, have a sense of your surroundings. If not, at least glance around now and then so I don't look like the asshole for saying EXCUSE ME.


This is one of my personal least favorite dick moves that many people make. How can people be so damned clueless of their surroundings? I guess they really don't give a sh_t about others and don't care if you have to get by them. I was at the grocery store earlier today when to big beautiful black women decided to have a full conversation in the middle of the isle. Of course, it was complete with all of the stereotypical bullish_t you would expect in the conversation. I politely walked up to their two fatass_s and their carts and said, "excuse me". You would have thought that I just had put on a Klan hood and called them bad names by the reaction I received. Apparently, they thought that everyone would simply reverse down they damn aisle and go completely around the next aisles instead of "interfering" with their amazingly intellectual conversation about what D'Wande and D'Shandra had done at bingo the farking night before.
 
2013-01-02 09:05:44 AM

Gergesa: My mother and sister are like this. It is like the end of the world if they have to walk more than 10 feet. Holding up traffic for 10 minutes doesn't bother them. That spot near the front is theirs and they will have it even it requires blood sacrifice.


I wonder if this behavior is a side effect of wearing uncomfortable shoes. Even if they aren't in heels at the time, I could see how those who are prone to wear torture devices on their feet would default to always trying to get the closest parking space possible.
 
2013-01-02 09:57:29 AM

Big_Doofus: John Buck 41: Matthew Keene: [a2.img.mobypicture.com image 514x514]

the free box in the middle (someone oblivious to the fact that they are in your way)---I just assume that anywhere I go, not just WM. Even at farking work. Really? You're talking to someone while standing in the f*cking doorway? Jesus, people, have a sense of your surroundings. If not, at least glance around now and then so I don't look like the asshole for saying EXCUSE ME.

This is one of my personal least favorite dick moves that many people make. How can people be so damned clueless of their surroundings? I guess they really don't give a sh_t about others and don't care if you have to get by them. I was at the grocery store earlier today when to big beautiful black women decided to have a full conversation in the middle of the isle. Of course, it was complete with all of the stereotypical bullish_t you would expect in the conversation. I politely walked up to their two fatass_s and their carts and said, "excuse me". You would have thought that I just had put on a Klan hood and called them bad names by the reaction I received. Apparently, they thought that everyone would simply reverse down they damn aisle and go completely around the next aisles instead of "interfering" with their amazingly intellectual conversation about what D'Wande and D'Shandra had done at bingo the farking night before.


That's not just Walmart and not just black people either. Here in Florgia, If you walk into any sort of business establishment behind other people, you can expect that the oxygen thieves in front of you will stop in the entrance and look up at the bright lights like they've just been raptured. And because groups of people will automatically expand out to fill all available walking space (my friend calls it the Silverado formation, because they look like they're headed to a Wild West shootout), you don't have any good options for that situation.
 
2013-01-02 12:51:38 PM

martid4: This card missed "hickeys" and "black eye."

[a2.img.mobypicture.com image 514x514]


I do find this funny. I really do. But the spelling mistakes with "isle(aisle)" and "cloths(clothes)" are just too grating.

/modified mine from "rebel flag shirt" to Homeland Security aboriginal wear and "entire family wearing NASCAR apparel" to entire family wearing Toronto Maple Leafs jerseys out of season
//Ontario Edition
///THR33!
 
2013-01-02 01:56:46 PM
John Buck 41
you're from Maine so I can understand why you have nothing else to do but wait in line or split wood. It was no exaggeration.
 
2013-01-02 09:15:54 PM

laid back w/bud light: John Buck 41
you're from Maine so I can understand why you have nothing else to do but wait in line or split wood. It was no exaggeration.


After re-reading your original post, yeah, I guess it could've taken that long.

Pellet stove for the last 6 years. The hell with splitting wood.
 
2013-01-02 09:17:25 PM

laid back w/bud light: John Buck 41
you're from Maine so I can understand why you have nothing else to do but wait in line or split wood. It was no exaggeration.


Hey wait, you're from New Hampster; you're one to talk.
 
Displayed 131 of 131 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report