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(Daily Mail)   Cry$tal Harri$ weds Hugh Hefner   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 50
    More: Obvious, Playboy Mansion, Playboy, The Little Mermaid, runaway bride case, best man, Studio City, Hugh Hefner  
•       •       •

4957 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 01 Jan 2013 at 9:30 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



50 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2013-01-01 09:36:09 AM  
I'm surprised this is only his third marriage, I thought he had more.
 
2013-01-01 09:40:24 AM  

skinink: I'm surprised this is only his third marriage, I thought he had more.


Why buy the cow when you can have the milk, milk, milk, milk, milk, milk, and milk for free?
 
2013-01-01 09:47:24 AM  
 
2013-01-01 09:48:49 AM  
Eh, it's just a publicity stunt anyway, does anyone really expect them to have some magical relationship? He's old enough to be her grandfather at this point, and even with those little blue pills, there's not likely much going on in the bedroom despite what the publisist wants you to think.

Or the dude's getting old and senile.
 
2013-01-01 09:50:36 AM  
So, does she have someone...oh, let's say..."waiting in the wings" as it were? I'm only 32 years older than she and don't need to wear a drool bucket, so I've got that going for me.
 
2013-01-01 09:57:22 AM  
Oh for chrissake, why don't you cynics take a break and give these kids a chance?
 
2013-01-01 09:57:45 AM  

kroonermanblack: He's old enough to be her great-grandfather at this point


FTFY.
 
2013-01-01 10:03:58 AM  
I would love to see their prenup.
 
2013-01-01 10:07:19 AM  

carrion_luggage: Oh for chrissake, why don't you cynics take a break and give these kids a chance?


And they call it puppy love
Oh I guess they'll never know
How a young heart really feels
And why i love her so...

images.45cat.com
 
2013-01-01 10:11:33 AM  
It's "publicist".
 
2013-01-01 10:16:08 AM  
She looks older than 26.
 
2013-01-01 10:24:38 AM  

JohnnyRebel88: She looks older than 26.


I wish she looked older so I could do a "that's the age of her boobs" joke.
 
2013-01-01 11:26:10 AM  
I like money as much as the next person, but I don't think there's an amount on this Earth that would entice me to have sex with an 86-year-old man.
 
2013-01-01 11:28:20 AM  
I'll be monitoring this thread to make sure nobody bookmarks it.
 
2013-01-01 11:30:33 AM  
She's no Dorothy Stratten and if she ain't Dorothy Stratten I don't give a shiat
 
2013-01-01 11:37:33 AM  
Gross
 
2013-01-01 11:41:19 AM  

Zumaki: NSFW google search for the lazy


So Hef's latest "wife" is a heavily-airbrushed, plastic-bodied blonde a quarter of his age who's capable of all the standard Playboy magazine poses.

Huh, whoddathunk?
 
2013-01-01 11:48:34 AM  
Nice work if you can get it.
 
2013-01-01 11:57:13 AM  

Coco LaFemme: I like money as much as the next person, but I don't think there's an amount on this Earth that would entice me to have sex with an 86-year-old man.


I'm not doubting your principles, but I think you'd find saying no with a million dollars in cash staring you in the face (as in, the actual pile of bundles of bills) would be difficult. I've asked myself these types of questions before, and my own interests aside, having all that money would help my kids. Can't just think of myself.
 
2013-01-01 12:04:05 PM  
Hef's wedding present to her:

www.madiecarrollhouse.org

Antique organ
 
2013-01-01 12:07:24 PM  

Coco LaFemme: I like money as much as the next person, but I don't think there's an amount on this Earth that would entice me to have sex with an 86-year-old man.


Anthony Hopkins, maybe. Clint Eastwood....probably a few more. Hell, they're not even twice my age.

She's a nasty biatch, and the one mostly responsible for all those rumors a few years back about how sordid everything was in the Playboy mansion. She broke up with him only a few days before the wedding, then hocked his engagement ring, smiling and talking trash, while the paparazzi were taking pictures.

Then she fell out of the public eye, and suddenly they were getting married again! It's incomprehensible.
 
2013-01-01 12:13:36 PM  
Anyone else think the magazine will die after he does due to all the legal battles for his fortune?
 
2013-01-01 12:20:41 PM  

Zumaki: NSFW google search for the lazy


You couldn't link it to the images page?
 
2013-01-01 12:27:41 PM  

carrion_luggage: Oh for chrissake, why don't you cynics take a break and give these kids a chance?


Heh.
 
2013-01-01 12:48:43 PM  

Coco LaFemme: I like money as much as the next person, but I don't think there's an amount on this Earth that would entice me to have sex with an 86-year-old man.


Especially two-second sex. Good grief, you're supposed to build endurance over time. Or supplementary skills, so to speak. You're not supposed to be a mash-up of scrotum, Gollum and Quick Draw McGraw.
 
2013-01-01 12:50:31 PM  

Marshal805: Anyone else think the magazine will die after he does due to all the legal battles for his fortune?


does anyone actually care about the mag anymore? what purpose do porn mags even serve in this day and age? who has boxes of porn mags anymore??
 
2013-01-01 12:55:24 PM  

frepnog: Marshal805: Anyone else think the magazine will die after he does due to all the legal battles for his fortune?

does anyone actually care about the mag anymore? what purpose do porn mags even serve in this day and age? who has boxes of porn mags anymore??


They've been cloud sourced for years (porn mags discarded in the woods for farkers to find)
 
2013-01-01 01:03:47 PM  

Fano: She's no Dorothy Stratten and if she ain't Dorothy Stratten I don't give a shiat


You sound like you've never seen Galaxina.
 
2013-01-01 01:11:27 PM  

cryinoutloud: Coco LaFemme: I like money as much as the next person, but I don't think there's an amount on this Earth that would entice me to have sex with an 86-year-old man.

Anthony Hopkins, maybe. Clint Eastwood....probably a few more. Hell, they're not even twice my age.

She's a nasty biatch, and the one mostly responsible for all those rumors a few years back about how sordid everything was in the Playboy mansion. She broke up with him only a few days before the wedding, then hocked his engagement ring, smiling and talking trash, while the paparazzi were taking pictures.

Then she fell out of the public eye, and suddenly they were getting married again! It's incomprehensible.


She may have realized she isn't as hot as she thought she was, and he is wealthy and won't live forever = a new understanding.
 
2013-01-01 01:21:17 PM  

tumy4me: Zumaki: NSFW google search for the lazy

You couldn't link it to the images page?


A misuse of the lmgtfy link to be sure.
 
2013-01-01 01:22:24 PM  

kroonermanblack: Eh, it's just a publicity stunt anyway, does anyone really expect them to have some magical relationship? He's old enough to be her grandfather at this point, and even with those little blue pills, there's not likely much going on in the bedroom despite what the publisist wants you to think.

Or the dude's getting old and senile.


Hef's been a limp sad pathetic shell of a man still trying desperately to hide behind his "bon vivant" facade for a loooooooooong time now.
 
2013-01-01 01:27:00 PM  
She should run for office.
 
2013-01-01 01:28:14 PM  

dryknife: Hef's wedding present to her:

[www.madiecarrollhouse.org image 850x1133]

Antique organ


I think we're done here.
 
2013-01-01 01:36:13 PM  
I think it

Trollin4Colon: tumy4me: Zumaki: NSFW google search for the lazy

You couldn't link it to the images page?

A misuse of the lmgtfy link to be sure.


QFT!

Also, I think it is fair to say...that Hef certainly has a type.
 
2013-01-01 01:40:27 PM  

grinding_journalist: Coco LaFemme: I like money as much as the next person, but I don't think there's an amount on this Earth that would entice me to have sex with an 86-year-old man.

I'm not doubting your principles, but I think you'd find saying no with a million dollars in cash staring you in the face (as in, the actual pile of bundles of bills) would be difficult. I've asked myself these types of questions before, and my own interests aside, having all that money would help my kids. Can't just think of myself.

I don't have any kids, and my boyfriend and I are about 95% sure we're not going to have any, so kids and their considerations aren't a factor.  We have debt, but not so much that we're crippled by it and will never be able to pay it off, so I wouldn't say that's a consideration either.

Having sex for money, even if it's only once and even if it's a celebrity, makes you a prostitute....and even if that money could be put to good use, I don't know how comfortable I'd be with the knowledge that I was nothing more than a common whore.  You know what I mean?  The ability to look at myself in the mirror and not hate the reflection staring back is important to me.

The only way I could honestly see myself farking anyone for money is if there's a gun to my head or my boyfriend's head, and it's either I do it or someone I love dies.  Other than that, I don't get why people do it.  Well, I do.....but I don't.

 
2013-01-01 01:48:56 PM  

Coco LaFemme: Having sex for money, even if it's only once and even if it's a celebrity, makes you a prostitute


Housewife Charged In Sex-For-Security Scam - AKRON, OH - Jul 6, 2005 - Area resident Helen
Crandall, 44, was arrested by Akron police Sunday, charged with conducting an elaborate "sex for security"
scam in which she allegedly defrauded husband Russell Crandall out of nearly $230,000 in cash, food, clothing
and housing over the past 19 years using periodic offers of sexual intercourse...
Link
 
2013-01-01 02:27:00 PM  
Coco LaFemme: I don't know how comfortable I'd be with the knowledge that I was nothing more than a common whore.


That's ridiculous... for what it's worth, I think you'd be a delightful whore.

/obligatory "of course I'm kidding"
 
2013-01-01 02:28:49 PM  
I don't think there's an amount on this Earth that would entice me to have sex with an 86-year-old man.

Coco, don't knock it until you've tried it
 
2013-01-01 02:56:13 PM  

dryknife: Hef's wedding present to her:

[www.madiecarrollhouse.org image 850x1133]

Antique organ


It's old, dusty, and doesn't work, but he'll make her play with it every night.
 
2013-01-01 03:19:41 PM  

Barricaded Gunman: Coco LaFemme: I don't know how comfortable I'd be with the knowledge that I was nothing more than a common whore.


That's ridiculous... for what it's worth, I think you'd be a delightful whore.

/obligatory "of course I'm kidding"


a whore that can pull the kind of money ol Hef has is anything but a "common whore". Uncommon, to be sure.

/women have sex for compensation from men all the time. Most women (hell, and alot of men) would take a large enough chunk of money to sleep with some guy, no matter who the guy was. I am not ghey but if Hugh Jackman asked me to buff his junk for a cool mil, me and the wife would have a discussion.
 
2013-01-01 03:42:40 PM  

Coco LaFemme: grinding_journalist: Coco LaFemme: The only way I could honestly see myself farking anyone for money is if there's a gun to my head or my boyfriend's head, and it's either I do it or someone I love dies.  Other than that, I don't get why people do it.  Well, I do.....but I don't.


If they have a gun to your head, they don't have to give you the money. Just sayin'.
 
2013-01-01 04:36:57 PM  
Holly is hotter
 
2013-01-01 04:47:42 PM  

FuryOfFirestorm: dryknife: Hef's wedding present to her:

[www.madiecarrollhouse.org image 850x1133]

Antique organ

It's old, dusty, and doesn't work, but he'll make her play with it every night.


Not to mention the constant foot pumping and a patch for the bellows.
 
2013-01-01 04:52:07 PM  
jump the shark, yet???
 
2013-01-01 04:52:38 PM  

ace in your face: Holly is hotter


And Bridget is smarter. And hotter.
www.model-de.ro

NSFW!
 
2013-01-01 04:58:32 PM  

FuryOfFirestorm: dryknife: Hef's wedding present to her:

[www.madiecarrollhouse.org image 850x1133]

Antique organ

It's old, dusty, and doesn't work, but he'll make her play with it every night.


That dusty old claptrap?
 
2013-01-02 12:40:33 AM  

frepnog: Marshal805: Anyone else think the magazine will die after he does due to all the legal battles for his fortune?

does anyone actually care about the mag anymore? what purpose do porn mags even serve in this day and age? who has boxes of porn mags anymore??


Can people send them to oversea troops?
 
2013-01-02 05:47:01 AM  

dryknife: Hef's wedding present to her:

[www.madiecarrollhouse.org image 850x1133]

Antique organ


i46.tinypic.com
Wuuagahha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I get it! "Antique organ!" HYUK!
 
2013-01-02 09:47:32 PM  
Fury, I gigglesnorted. I wonder what they sound like when they are in the throes. He's grunting, and she's moaning... while she plays angry birds behind him, and he's watching Lawrence Welk reruns...
 
2013-01-04 04:01:41 PM  

grinding_journalist: Coco LaFemme: I like money as much as the next person, but I don't think there's an amount on this Earth that would entice me to have sex with an 86-year-old man.

I'm not doubting your principles, but I think you'd find saying no with a million dollars in cash staring you in the face (as in, the actual pile of bundles of bills) would be difficult. I've asked myself these types of questions before, and my own interests aside, having all that money would help my kids. Can't just think of myself.


so... would you take $400 from a fifty-year-old?
 
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