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(Jalopnik)   In this week's edition of stupid things written on receipts: Valet marks actress on her parking ticket as "fat"   (jalopnik.com) divider line 33
    More: Dumbass, actress  
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11263 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Dec 2012 at 4:25 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-12-31 03:36:27 PM  
12 votes:
And she cried buttery tears the entire drive home.
2012-12-31 04:43:57 PM  
10 votes:
i.imgur.com
2012-12-31 04:32:10 PM  
6 votes:
Fat women shouldn't be ridiculed. They should made love to, then ignored.
2012-12-31 03:35:23 PM  
4 votes:
She acts fat.
2012-12-31 06:09:25 PM  
3 votes:

Great Janitor: When I confronted the manager he was livid when I told him. As soon as I left his office the door closed and he proceeded to yell at the kid for what he said.


Of course he was pissed. He just had to spend 10 minutes listening to you complain when a normal person could have done it in 2.
2013-01-01 04:56:04 AM  
2 votes:
Average person's guide to chicks you'd bang:

over 20lbs underweight - ew, not hot
20lbs underweight to - Height weight proportional - Cute! But I hope her eating disorder doesn't involve laxatives
Height weight proportional - Hellz yeah
Height weight proportional - 20lbs overweight - Yeah I'd bang that!
Height weight proportional - 20lbs "overweight" (but fit) - my junk hurts from how much I'm banging her.
20lbs - 40lbs overweight - well most of it's in her butt and tits, I'd bang that and make those shake.
40lbs - 60lbs overweight - Are my friends looking? How long has it been since I got some? Is there anyone else in the bar that looks a little more appealing? Is it 2 am already?
60lbs - 100lbs overweight - No farking way, not enough booze...oh and is she freaking eating right now?
100lbs - whatever overweight - Dude, take a picture with me and this farking house!

Fark's guide to chicks you'd bang:

over 20lbs underweight - The only legitimate too sharp of knees
20lbs underweight to - Height weight proportional - won't talk to me
Height weight proportional - Won't talk to me
Height weight proportional - 20lbs overweight - Won't talk to me
Height weight proportional - 20lbs "overweight" (but fit) - won't talk to me and I've never seen a girl like this in real life at the Hometown Buffett, and therefore is probably a media image that is photoshopped
20lbs - 40lbs overweight - A girl like this looked at me once, I haven't washed my jackin hand since.
40lbs - 60lbs overweight - A GODDESS! Speak ill of her and you're a homo! Defines "smoking hot!"
60lbs - 100lbs overweight - Wow, a girl that loves World of Warcraft as much as I do, maybe I can go out of my league and speak to her!" I love those spandex pants on you!"
100lbs - whatever overweight - The chick I took home last night and that I'll probably marry.
2012-12-31 08:01:26 PM  
2 votes:
"You call yourself, Fat Amy?"

"Yeah so twig biatches like you don't do it behind my back"
2012-12-31 05:53:01 PM  
2 votes:
img20.imageshack.us
2012-12-31 05:14:40 PM  
2 votes:
They found her car, so the description must have worked.
2012-12-31 04:59:08 PM  
2 votes:
You really expect a valet to know how to spell Rubenesque?
2012-12-31 04:55:20 PM  
2 votes:

Great Janitor: I used to work as a valet. I was paid minimum wage plus tips. Given that in a hour I could make a hundred dollars in tips (holiday season, guys with money want to impress their girlfriends by tipping the valets nicely), I never did anything that could potentially piss off or offend someone.

The valet should have been fired on the spot, there is no excuse for it.


did valet as a second/third job at a busy as hell Italian Restaurant with a teeny-tiny parking lot where you packed them in like sardines. no tickets, they handed you the keys and gave you a description and you ran like hell. no pay, got tips. ate for free. stayed thin. saved up a bundle, no time to piss it away. it's good to be young.

if that fellow had been on my crew i would have him fired on the spot and ask the owner to comp her meal. that is one good looking woman. she's not fat. she's roxy. she's voluptous. she's got some real estate worth looking over. mouth to arse first date, i aim to please. the rest of you are wimps. dad taught me young you never turn down a woman's favor and you make her glad she shaved her legs. yum yum eat 'em up.

/ short, tall, thin, chunky
// krispykritter makes em howl like a monkey
2012-12-31 04:34:52 PM  
2 votes:
He could stand to lose a few pounds.
2012-12-31 03:36:08 PM  
2 votes:
The kid couldn't remember how to spell zaftig.
2012-12-31 08:37:25 PM  
1 votes:
Here is her car. She's in the passenger seat.

i96.photobucket.com
2012-12-31 08:34:16 PM  
1 votes:

mitchcumstein1: Don't want to be called fat? Lose weight.


I feel the same way about assholes and dumbfarks.
2012-12-31 07:32:59 PM  
1 votes:
Ah, the unfortunate fat woman with small breasts. Sad.
2012-12-31 07:23:14 PM  
1 votes:
i'm far from perfect, you know what comes with that? thick skin, grow some you pathetic whinney little pussies. that fugly coont demonstrated that she deserved to feel like shiat when when she went all butthurt snowflake after the fact. that goes for you too p..p...p.pp...pp..porky.
2012-12-31 06:08:37 PM  
1 votes:
I'm putting this whole thread in jail for egregious violations of the Wheaton Rule. Sheesh.
2012-12-31 05:44:48 PM  
1 votes:

MeanJean: Great Janitor
What I am not understanding is all the hate for the woman. She's fat, does that make it right for those in customer service to call her that? Think about every physical thing you have about your body that you hate, that you feel self conscious about. Do you want that to be how the employees at the businesses you go to describe you as? I grew up with a horrible stuttering problem. I hated it. The one time an employee at a store mocked my stuttering I raised hell. I went to the manager and demanded he fired that employee at once or I was going to complain to both his district manager and the corporate office. I got an apology from the employee as well as the manager, and the manager promised me that the employee would be fired.

Good for you!

Now I wonder if all the farkers who sneered that this woman should lose weight if she didn't want to be called "fat" will insist that you should've worked harder to correct your stutter  if you didn't want people making fun of it.

Nah.


I think you s-s-shouls sh-sh-shut the fark up
2012-12-31 05:43:55 PM  
1 votes:

ladykills82: highrye: ladykills82: MeanJean: KawaiiNot
I got insulted myself this week when I turned down this hot guy who was hitting on me.

I've never understood that. I've had guys tell me I'm gorgeous when they see my picture on a dating site, and if/when I politely turn them down I get insultedon my looks.

I'm not a goldfish. My memory lasts longer than three seconds, you know.

This happened to me recently as well...turned down talking to a guy on a dating website, and he tells me he 'doesn't like fat chicks anyway.' Sigh.

I would totally pull a white knight here but you sound fat.

Well, what can I say. We can't all sound thin.


Wrong again. This is the internet. We can all sound thin, rich and beautiful if we like.
/Shoot, I had to be at the gym 26 minutes ago...
2012-12-31 05:36:42 PM  
1 votes:

highrye: ladykills82: MeanJean: KawaiiNot
I got insulted myself this week when I turned down this hot guy who was hitting on me.

I've never understood that. I've had guys tell me I'm gorgeous when they see my picture on a dating site, and if/when I politely turn them down I get insultedon my looks.

I'm not a goldfish. My memory lasts longer than three seconds, you know.

This happened to me recently as well...turned down talking to a guy on a dating website, and he tells me he 'doesn't like fat chicks anyway.' Sigh.

I would totally pull a white knight here but you sound fat.


Well, what can I say. We can't all sound thin.
2012-12-31 05:33:42 PM  
1 votes:

ladykills82: MeanJean: KawaiiNot
I got insulted myself this week when I turned down this hot guy who was hitting on me.

I've never understood that. I've had guys tell me I'm gorgeous when they see my picture on a dating site, and if/when I politely turn them down I get insultedon my looks.

I'm not a goldfish. My memory lasts longer than three seconds, you know.

This happened to me recently as well...turned down talking to a guy on a dating website, and he tells me he 'doesn't like fat chicks anyway.' Sigh.


I would totally pull a white knight here but you sound fat.
2012-12-31 05:25:03 PM  
1 votes:
blog.moviepostershop.com

Because she is a disgusting fatbody!
2012-12-31 05:13:36 PM  
1 votes:
she has great big tracks of land
2012-12-31 05:13:20 PM  
1 votes:

Super Chronic: All the valets have to do is come up with some kind of code word for "fat"; customers would never be the wiser and they'd have a good inside joke to entertain themselves.


They are valets, not navajo indians.
2012-12-31 05:04:40 PM  
1 votes:

MeanJean: And if any of you male farkers wouldn't tap this before picture:
You're either gay or lying.


She looks pretty

/ Pretty fat, I mean
2012-12-31 04:54:42 PM  
1 votes:

Allen. The end.: She's an actress; it was a promo shot for a play, dumbass.


Your mom's a dumbass. Did I win? Did the play call for her to put on 40 Lb? Were you there for that, too? She's not going to go out with you.
2012-12-31 04:44:52 PM  
1 votes:
Sorry, but this is the start of the revolution. The one where we tell fat people they are fat and help them become normal people.
2012-12-31 04:35:03 PM  
1 votes:

nicoffeine: Things I learned when I was 10, #145:

Someone calls you fat. Good for them, get over it Kill them.

2012-12-31 04:34:20 PM  
1 votes:
In a follow up email the company apologized and she was offered a gift card to a local restaurant - because they must assume she loves food - and free parking for a year.


yes, Fat people hate food.

I know I have a seething rage for the cheetoes and oreos that mouth raped me several times a day for years and years and years.


that reminds me, I'm out of cookies.
2012-12-31 04:32:09 PM  
1 votes:

mitchcumstein1: Don't want to be called fat? Lose weight.


/No shiat, just because you're surrounded by actor and actress kiss asses who salivate at your every word and wish, that doesn't make you any less tubby.  You're fat, your ass is fat, and you have big fat knockers. Not that the last one is a deal breaker, but i really don't wanna be in a 69 with a chick who's ass cheeks look like her dimples moved down to her butt and had a litter of puppies.  You're tubby, and oversensitive, lose weight or get over yourself. Better yet, just stfu..
2012-12-31 12:43:04 PM  
1 votes:
Don't want to be called fat? Lose weight.
2012-12-31 12:19:55 PM  
1 votes:
I would think flashing a $20 and a simple, "Oh wait, I don't tip farking morons who call me fat," would be appropriate. (Also would probably solve the problem.) Don't get all worked up about it, Chubs.
 
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