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(Fark) HOTY Fark's 2012 Headline of the Year contest: Sports tab headlines   (fark.com) divider line 45
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1984 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Dec 2012 at 11:48 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-31 11:14:11 AM
 Last Friday, Fark ran its Headline of the Year contest for the main page. With that page finished, today is the final day of our Headline of the Year contests, and this one is for the Sports tab. These are the top 20 sports headlines as voted, with five from each quarter. Now you get to choose the one you like best.
 
2012-12-31 11:14:29 AM
Art Modell died. Services to be held in the middle of the night

http://www.fark.com/comments/7311469
 
2012-12-31 11:14:51 AM
Andes survivors mark 40th anniversary of crash. If you attend the party, skip the buffet

http://www.fark.com/comments/7381134
 
2012-12-31 11:17:31 AM
Brewers to honor Bob Uecker with statue just a bit outside of Miller Park

http://www.fark.com/comments/7008200
 
2012-12-31 11:17:48 AM
Czech Republic, facing elimination if they lose, hold on to defeat Greece in Euro Cup. This marks the first time in three years that the Greeks haven't bounced a Czech

http://www.fark.com/comments/7159068
 
2012-12-31 11:18:06 AM
Don King's turkey truck hijacked. This is an audacious, fallacious, hellacious, and vexatious crime intended to stupify, horrify, and mystify our mortified law enforcement officials and poultrified spectators

http://www.fark.com/comments/6822584
 
2012-12-31 11:18:27 AM
Fark-ready sports headline: "Predators Announce First-Ever Child Abuse Prevention Night"

http://www.fark.com/comments/7068378
 
2012-12-31 11:18:45 AM
Former fiance of Petrino's mistress gets first class ticket out of Fayetteville, but she will only ride coach

http://www.fark.com/comments/7045811
 
2012-12-31 11:19:02 AM
Goetze "not ready" to play for Arsenal; Arsenal admits the plan to sign the midfielder was a stretch all along, and his absence will leave a gaping, monstrous void

http://www.fark.com/comments/6999239
 
2012-12-31 11:19:23 AM
Kobe Bryant's wife done seeing therapist

http://www.fark.com/comments/6823033
 
2012-12-31 11:19:40 AM
NFL to require knee pads for players, and ESPN when they're around Tom Brady

http://www.fark.com/comments/7120786
 
2012-12-31 11:19:57 AM
Oh, I'm afraid Peyton Manning will be quite operational when your friends arrive

http://www.fark.com/comments/7317669
 
2012-12-31 11:20:26 AM
Packers Linebacker charged with beating his girlfriend. IMO, she would be better off dating someone from the Colts. They don't beat anyone

http://www.fark.com/comments/6795917
 
2012-12-31 11:20:47 AM
Penn St. Football tops AP Poll, young boys

http://www.fark.com/comments/6847153
 
2012-12-31 11:21:11 AM
Queen attends races. *STOMP, STOMP, CLAP*

http://www.fark.com/comments/7140576
 
2012-12-31 11:21:26 AM
Sales of Paterno book come up a little behind

http://www.fark.com/comments/7364992
 
2012-12-31 11:21:51 AM
Steve Sabol, president of NFL Films, dies at age LXIX

http://www.fark.com/comments/7334045
 
2012-12-31 11:22:10 AM
 
2012-12-31 11:22:45 AM
US beats Mexico, in Mexico. For you non-soccer fans, the degree of difficulty here is comparable to forcing your wife to admit that she's wrong about something, at your mother-in-law's dinner table

http://www.fark.com/comments/7270832
 
2012-12-31 11:25:29 AM
West Virginia defeats Clemson 70-33 in the Orange Bowl. To put that into perspective, the last time a group of South Carolinians were beaten this badly, it ended slavery

http://www.fark.com/comments/6860401
 
2012-12-31 11:25:47 AM
Wife of former Mets pitcher who famously said she would sleep with the whole Mets organization if he ever cheated, files for divorce after he cheated. Looks like the Mets are finally going to score

http://www.fark.com/comments/7225183
 
2012-12-31 11:27:10 AM
Enjoy, everybody. Next contest today: Geek tab
 
2012-12-31 11:29:05 AM
A few extra headlines that I liked that didn't quite make the cut but deserve some love:

UK anti-doping agency warns that athletes who eat too much liver may test positive for a banned substance and not be allowed to participâté in the London Olympics
http://www.fark.com/comments/6840470

Team of naked female rowers break Atlantic record. Stroke, stroke, stroke, stroke
http://www.fark.com/comments/6945955

Red Sox ban beer in clubhouse. 1986 World Series loss now blamed on bad hops
http://www.fark.com/comments/6968623

Tebow sacrificed his body against the Pats by playing through severe injuries to palms of hands, ankles, and a stabbing side wound
http://www.fark.com/comments/6885897

Bears part ways with offensive coordinator Mike Martz, who will now put his O-line coaching skills to use training matadors
http://www.fark.com/comments/6857972

News Corp. shopping an all-sports network to rival ESPN. No word yet on how they plan to present stats and scores in such a way so that it always looks like the team they like is the one that's winning
http://www.fark.com/comments/7020395

NCAA issues warning to the Sioux. Threatens to send 7th Cavalry
http://www.fark.com/comments/6970954

49-year-old pitcher Jamie Moyer continues MLB comeback, pitches two scoreless innings, tests positive for Centrum Silver
http://www.fark.com/comments/6985132

Skier wins World Cup race on a single ski after terrifying pursuit by tenacious paperboy
http://www.fark.com/comments/6983818

Greg Oden reveals he was an alcoholic, and how he kept that fact loki
http://www.fark.com/comments/7099613

What's the difference between Albert Pujols and a company worth $240 million? The company would have a HR
http://www.fark.com/comments/7081046

DeSean Jackson guarantees a Super Bowl win in the next five years. Upon hearing the news, Andy Reid used a timeout and called a long pass on 3rd and inches
http://www.fark.com/comments/6997002

Gabby Douglas wins the all-around gymnastics gold medal on the strength of a stunning vault, flawless balance beam, and authentic frontier gibberish
http://www.fark.com/comments/7248827

Pole dancers want to be a part of the 2016 Olympics. Officials told a ticket would only require a small cover charge and two drink minimum
http://www.fark.com/comments/7248654

SFPD sending undercover officers posing as Dodger fans to AT&T for this weekend's series, but blew their cover when they were seen in their seats in the first inning
http://www.fark.com/comments/7188290

NFL officially locks out referees. This sounds good until you remember this means Ed Hochuli now has nothing but time on his hands and a world full of rulebreakers that need tickets to the gun show
http://www.fark.com/comments/7143714

Rory McIlroy shoots 65 at Deutsche Bank Championship, putting him 12 behind Anders Breivik
http://www.fark.com/comments/7303038

Armstrong stripped of Tour de France titles, Moon Landing
http://www.fark.com/comments/7394308

Braves clinch postseason slot on a walk-off two-run homer. NFL refs award two free throws and a penalty kick for icing
http://www.fark.com/comments/7347780

NFL now investigating the San Diego Chargers for using a banned sticky substance. Legal experts say it will be difficult to prove since the Chargers can't even hang onto a lead
http://www.fark.com/comments/7394065

Michael Vick blames the media for speculation he might be benched, despite the fact that in the first six games he's thrown eight interceptions, lost five fumbles, and bitten two mailmen
http://www.fark.com/comments/7418390

Joker out at University of Kentucky after loss to Vandy. Two-Face still coaching at Alabama
http://www.fark.com/comments/7418023

The 49ers gain 300 by land and 300 by air. They also could have gained 300 by sea, but decided to cut the Bills some slack
http://www.fark.com/comments/7369747
 
2012-12-31 12:02:05 PM

Headline of the Year candidate: Goetze "not ready" to play for Arsenal; Arsenal admits the plan to sign the midfielder was a stretch all along, and his absence will leave a gaping, monstrous void

http://www.fark.com/comments/6999239


I regret that I have but one vote to give to this headline.
 
2012-12-31 12:08:13 PM
Oh, I'm afraid Peyton Manning will be quite operational when your friends arrive

http://www.fark.com/comments/7317669

I'm sorry but...this one SHOULD win. So much win for the headline AND the thread.
 
2012-12-31 12:09:43 PM
I'm still partial to "Steve Sabol, president of NFL Films, dies at age LXIX"

There's something elegant about it
 
2012-12-31 12:21:40 PM

Headline of the Year candidate: Suh sued studio


I love this too much not to vote for it.
 
2012-12-31 12:27:10 PM

King Something: Headline of the Year candidate: Goetze "not ready" to play for Arsenal; Arsenal admits the plan to sign the midfielder was a stretch all along, and his absence will leave a gaping, monstrous void

http://www.fark.com/comments/6999239

I regret that I have but one vote to give to this headline.


Yup
 
2012-12-31 12:38:38 PM
I like the one that I submitted the best, but it's one of the ones with the least votes. I guess it's one of those jokes that only I find really funny, which, as I've patiently tried to explain to my exasperated friends, are the best kind of jokes.
 
2012-12-31 12:42:01 PM

Palmer Eldritch: I like the one that I submitted the best, but it's one of the ones with the least votes. I guess it's one of those jokes that only I find really funny, which, as I've patiently tried to explain to my exasperated friends, are the best kind of jokes.


I've said a few times that when a joke is broad, it might not be hilarious but the majority of people get it. When it's narrower, it's a lot funnier--to people who get the reference. Unfortunately, people that miss the joke and vote for all of the ones that make them laugh, so broader jokes do better when it's voting time.
 
2012-12-31 12:50:28 PM

Rwa2play: Oh, I'm afraid Peyton Manning will be quite operational when your friends arrive

http://www.fark.com/comments/7317669

I'm sorry but...this one SHOULD win. So much win for the headline AND the thread.


That thread was incredible.
 
2012-12-31 01:05:02 PM
Is it me, or were these all submitted by the same person, nttawwt
 
2012-12-31 01:12:06 PM

Headline of the Year candidate: Art Modell died. Services to be held in the middle of the night

http://www.fark.com/comments/7311469


+1
 
2012-12-31 02:13:57 PM
My favorites were the Goatze and Penn State jokes, way back in the standings.

Damn you all to hell.
 
2012-12-31 02:38:37 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Headline of the Year candidate: Suh sued studio

I love this too much not to vote for it.


This. Hilarious.
 
2012-12-31 02:40:42 PM
How many can you/should you vote for?
 
2012-12-31 02:45:46 PM
No "Wisconsin learns why unions are important"?
 
2012-12-31 02:53:46 PM

zoobaby: How many can you/should you vote for?


Everyone's different. Some people vote for all of the ones that make them laugh. Personally, I only vote for 1-3 per contest for the one(s) that I find the strongest.
 
2012-12-31 02:59:16 PM

Unfreakable: Braves clinch postseason slot on a walk-off two-run homer. NFL refs award two free throws and a penalty kick for icing


Woohoo, I got an honorable mention!
 
2012-12-31 03:00:51 PM
Thanks unfreakable. Voted 2...
 
2012-12-31 03:19:05 PM

zoobaby: How many can you/should you vote for?


You can vote for all of them.

That would defeat the purpose, but you CAN vote for all of them!


Pertifly: This. Hilarious.


When I saw the headline after it first came out, I thought, "That jazz *has* to run away with the Sports HOTY."
 
2012-12-31 03:22:35 PM

Headline of the Year candidate: Suh sued studio


If I had multiple votes, this would get them.

/away-ohhhh
 
2012-12-31 07:07:12 PM
I so would have voted for "Armstrong stripped of Tour de France titles, Moon Landing"
 
2012-12-31 10:45:11 PM
No MMA headlines?

Fark that.
 
2013-01-01 07:57:19 AM
The Nick Saban headline is funny on two levels.
 
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