Hi everybody. Just letting you know that we ran the Headline of the Year contest for mainpage headlines last Friday, but today we have the last seven contests on tap: the five main subtab contests for Sports, Geek, Entertainment, Politics and Business. I just need to upload those and will be doing that over the next few hours. The last two contests will be the Context Headline of the Year contest and the Puns/Wordplay contest.

Keep an eye out for them. In the meantime, enjoy this final day of 2012. Cheers

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2012-12-23 to Sat 2012-12-29:

  New cancer drug that instructs defective DNA to self-destruct could cure half of all cancers, decimate populations of West Virginia, Kentucky, and Alabama    

  Doctor finds a 77 pound ovarian tumor, immediately issues an order to cease and de-cyst    

  Quincy M.E., dead at 90, will issue his own coroner's report tomorrow    

  I guess it's true what they say, tornadoes are attracted to Mobile homes    

  "Push to get kids off ATVs". Yep, well, that's one way to do it    

  Software glitch purges spring classes. Damn you, Robert'); DROP TABLE Students; --    

  Man buys coins, stops payment on checks, will be sent to £MITA prison    

  Tea plantation workers surround their boss' house armed with bows and poison-tipped arrows and proceed to burn him and his wife alive. Damn, Occupy Gauhati, you crazy    

  If you're going to drive drunk, make sure that parking lot you drove into isn't really someone's lawn. To avoid getting on Fark, the lawn should not be at AA founder Bill Wilson's historic home    

  Heating oil company delivers 300 gallons to Brooklyn house. Homeowner: No tanks    

  Hobby Lobby to continue hobby of lobbying Appeals Court to allow their other hobby of lobbing their beliefs on their employees private lobby hobbies    


Sports:

  Ramon Sessions' testicles involved in vicious attack on Dwayne Wade's foot    

  The entire country is excited to watch "America's Team" play for the NFC East Division Championship this Sunday night. Can you still call yourselves that when 49 states are rooting for you to lose?    

  And lo, when the Lamb broke the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of all who had been martyred for the word of God and for being faithful in their testimony, and verily did the Clippers have a 15-game winning streak    


Geek:

  Astronauts celebrate Christmas on the International Space Station. Some people will do anything to get out of having to spend the holidays with their families    

  Swedish band releases record, made of ice. Whatever. I was into this band before it was cool    

  The beloved products we lost in 2012. They went away too Zune    


Entertainment:

  Archery was the motif in films for 2012. Be on the lookout for Cyril-isms in 2013    

  For the record, Richard Branson did not give Kate Winslet a free ticket for a rocket ride into space as a present for marrying his nephew. No mad-libs were harmed in the making of this headline    

  Jennifer Garner is chosen as the celebrity mother of the year, after being the only Hollywood star who knew the names and birthdays of all her kids, who the fathers are, which country they were conceived in    


Politics:

  Grover Norquist upset Obama won't negotiate. This is the story the Irony tag was made for    

  Barney Frank open to the idea of filling Kerry's seat    

  Rush Limbaugh warns that the president is becoming 'Barack Hussein Kardashian.' This is bad news . . . for the Bajorans    


Business:

  It's that time of year again. Time for the McRib (or as they call it 'restructured meat technology')    

  SeaWorld files for IPO. Hopes to attract a few whales, avoid sharks    

  Phoenix Coyotes could have their best financial season ever by not playing a single NHL game. Hollywood producers: "Can we do that with Kevin Costner's films?"    
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