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(Alaska Dispatch)   Experts now say MI6 agent described as a an introverted math genius with an unorthodox sexual history probably got naked, climbed into the gym bag in his bathroom and padlocked it shut, before being found dead   ( divider line
    More: Strange, history of human sexuality, gym bag, bathrooms, electronic components  
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7979 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Dec 2012 at 11:11 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-12-31 11:33:27 AM  
7 votes: Full Size

Ah, the old "Dirty Einstein". I saw a midget try this once in a Hong Kong opium den in 1956. Poor bastard lost a thumb trying to get the zipper on the gym bag shut."
2012-12-31 07:15:13 AM  
6 votes:
Man... They train those MI6 guys to do EVERYTHING.
2012-12-31 11:53:35 AM  
4 votes:
I'm just curious about the specialists who could not even lock themselves in a bag. Just what was their specialty.
2012-12-31 11:52:04 AM  
4 votes:
i.imgur.comView Full Size

Mr. Furious: Seems there was a little controversy there regarding your father's death.
The Bowler: Yes, the police said he fell down an elevator shaft. Onto some bullets.
The Blue Raja: You know, I've always suspected a bit of foul play there.
The Bowler: As have I.
2012-12-31 09:29:20 AM  
4 votes:
Hey at least the case is closed now. And locked. With a body inside.
2012-12-31 05:09:39 AM  
4 votes:
did he shoot himself in the head first, cause then i would really be impressed
2012-12-31 11:29:42 AM  
3 votes:
"described as a an introverted math genius"?

Hey idiot, since "an" is phonetically pronounced with a vowel sound it should be:

"described as an an introverted math genius".
2012-12-31 01:30:20 PM  
2 votes:
Dr. Wilcox: We are satisfied that on the balance of probabilities that Gareth was killed unlawfully and we can not rule out involvement by the secret services
MI6:Splendid, Dr. Wilcox. Keep up the good work and for your efforts would you like to see the lovely line of carry-all bags we keep just for our agents.
Dr. Wilcox: It is highly probable Gareth killed himself.
2012-12-31 12:33:34 PM  
2 votes:
"Wilcox severely criticized Williams's employers at MI6 who failed to report him missing for seven days when he did not turn up for work."

Yeah, that seems legit. I mean, it's not like keeping track of people would normally be something MI6 would be interested in or anything.
2012-12-31 12:08:36 PM  
2 votes:

pjc51: Captain Steroid: Suicide. Yeah. That's the ticket. >_>'

Is anyone claiming it was deliberate suicide? I thought the story was that he got off on locking himself in tight spaces, until the one time when it all went wrong and he couldn't get himself out.

I think they're saying its an illegitimate suicide. As opposed to a legitimate one where the body is able to just kind of shut it all down...or something like that.
2012-12-31 11:44:10 AM  
2 votes:

Suede head: He was just giving the Schrodinger's Cat theory a really good tryout.

Ah good point. He wasn't dead until someone opened the bag. So whoever opened the bag is the murderer

Can't be suicide.
2012-12-31 11:41:11 AM  
2 votes:

Amos Quito: [ image 850x708]

Boy, I hope Bilbo has an extra long one of these:
azpartsmaster.comView Full Size
2012-12-31 11:16:26 AM  
2 votes:
Damn, that movie franchise sure turned ridiculous in a hurry.
2012-12-31 01:43:25 PM  
1 vote:

some_beer_drinker: did he shoot himself in the head first, cause then i would really be impressed

imfdb.orgView Full Size
2012-12-31 12:41:26 PM  
1 vote:

Bigdogdaddy: Had a suicide here where a guy shot himself in the back of the head 3 times. Yeah, seriously. Of course, this is the land of Oz, anything can happen here.

Well that story was probably just concocted to divert attention from the possibility he was shot by a murderous marsupial or some rogue form of vegetation.
2012-12-31 12:30:31 PM  
1 vote:
I wonder if they nicknamed him Bilbo after this.
2012-12-31 12:29:46 PM  
1 vote:
Hey, if i didnt show for work w/o explaination for more than a day, i'd want someone to come to my house and let me out of my gym bag too.

They failed this man, failed him i tell ya.
2012-12-31 12:22:42 PM  
1 vote:
Why, to suggest this wasn't a suicide would mean you are a tin-foil hat wearing conspiracy theorist kook.
2012-12-31 12:15:30 PM  
1 vote:
Yeah, and Alexander Litvinenko just ate some bad sushi.
2012-12-31 12:10:28 PM  
1 vote:
Like the Clinton Death List -

"He's shot three times in the back of the head."
"Clearly a suicide."
2012-12-31 11:54:07 AM  
1 vote:
This thread is probably as good as any to ask this:

Am I the only one that is hoping for a Judi Dench sex tape scandal before she dies?
2012-12-31 11:41:29 AM  
1 vote:
He was just giving the Schrodinger's Cat theory a really good tryout.
2012-12-31 11:31:23 AM  
1 vote:
They left out the fact that he proudly exclaimed "The Aristocrats!" before he died...
2012-12-31 11:28:07 AM  
1 vote:
I already tend not to believe any story that MI6 is willing to stand by. They are only slightly more likely to be truthful than the CIA.
2012-12-31 11:26:43 AM  
1 vote: Full Size
2012-12-31 11:20:07 AM  
1 vote:

ExperianScaresCthulhu: Yeah, right. And the DC madam really hung herself with nylon cord just before she was set to go to court to talk about 9/11. Please. What's the point of a coroner without integrity?

To, um, be fodder for detective stories?
2012-12-31 11:14:36 AM  
1 vote:

some_beer_drinker: did he shoot himself in the head first, cause then i would really be impressed

No he just fell on a knife.....36 times.
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