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(Alaska Dispatch)   Experts now say MI6 agent described as a an introverted math genius with an unorthodox sexual history probably got naked, climbed into the gym bag in his bathroom and padlocked it shut, before being found dead   (alaskadispatch.com) divider line 26
    More: Strange, history of human sexuality, gym bag, bathrooms, electronic components  
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7963 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Dec 2012 at 11:11 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-31 12:29:26 PM  
2 votes:

JonnyG: stellarossa: Suspicious.

They tried to replicate what he had to have done were it suicide, and the team doing it did not succeed in over 400 attempts. Then a 'retired seargent' managed it once, apparently so that's *clearly* what happened.

They could come out right now to tell everyone this was an elaborate murder and all the believers would still choose to believe the less sinister story.


I suspect the dude had become disillusioned with someone/something in MI6 and was in danger of going rogue/blabbing to his mom & sister about some of the shady shiat that MI6 gets up to. Also suspect MI6 can typically see behavior like this long before it becomes a reality and nip it in the bud by staging a died-by-kink' death, making sure the press mention his closet was full of women's clothes, so we all know this dude was the sort of guy to get his kicks from shutting himself into a gym bag for no good reason.
2012-12-31 11:53:35 AM  
2 votes:
I'm just curious about the specialists who could not even lock themselves in a bag. Just what was their specialty.
2012-12-31 11:52:04 AM  
2 votes:
i.imgur.com

Mr. Furious: Seems there was a little controversy there regarding your father's death.
The Bowler: Yes, the police said he fell down an elevator shaft. Onto some bullets.
The Blue Raja: You know, I've always suspected a bit of foul play there.
The Bowler: As have I.
2012-12-31 11:31:58 AM  
2 votes:
I was actually ok with the setup. You can squeeze the clasp on a padlock closed through fabric. But then they threw in the salacious back-story. And whenever the person who died "oddly" was discovered to have a child porn fetish or was a transvestite, or whatever flavor is out of favor that week, I have to give pause and reflect.
/do they usually slander suicides or just when it's a government employee?
2012-12-31 11:28:07 AM  
2 votes:
I already tend not to believe any story that MI6 is willing to stand by. They are only slightly more likely to be truthful than the CIA.
2012-12-31 11:25:47 AM  
2 votes:

some_beer_drinker: did he shoot himself in the head first, cause then i would really be impressed


Extra awesome "suicide" points if he managed to shoot himself in the back of the head before padlocking himself into the gym bag first too.

No cover up here citizen, nothing to see here.
2012-12-31 11:24:52 AM  
2 votes:
Not to totally Godwin this thread, but it seems more true every day that Hitler was right when he said: "The bigger the lie, the more people will believe it."
2012-12-31 11:20:42 AM  
2 votes:
The sad thing is that a majority will take this story as truth.
2012-12-31 11:18:32 AM  
2 votes:
Yeah, right. And the DC madam really hung herself with nylon cord just before she was set to go to court to talk about 9/11. Please. What's the point of a coroner without integrity?
2012-12-31 05:07:07 PM  
1 votes:

xria: stellarossa: JonnyG: stellarossa: Suspicious.

They tried to replicate what he had to have done were it suicide, and the team doing it did not succeed in over 400 attempts. Then a 'retired seargent' managed it once, apparently so that's *clearly* what happened.

They could come out right now to tell everyone this was an elaborate murder and all the believers would still choose to believe the less sinister story.

I suspect the dude had become disillusioned with someone/something in MI6 and was in danger of going rogue/blabbing to his mom & sister about some of the shady shiat that MI6 gets up to. Also suspect MI6 can typically see behavior like this long before it becomes a reality and nip it in the bud by staging a died-by-kink' death, making sure the press mention his closet was full of women's clothes, so we all know this dude was the sort of guy to get his kicks from shutting himself into a gym bag for no good reason.

So what you are saying is that MI6 likes to draw attention to itself killing its own employees in very well publicized ways? Either it is a foreign government operation deliberately designed to go public, or maybe it is true. If the MI6 did it he would have just been another person that died young from a heart attack and no one would probably even be aware he had died or who he had worked for.


That's what I'm saying, precisely because of your reaction. "MI6 would NEVER do something as dumb as this".
2012-12-31 03:11:45 PM  
1 votes:

funmonger: I'd fire any assassin that worked for me if I ordered a hit and got this circus for my money.

If you want a problem to go away, don't make it headline news.


The assassins I know are trying to one up each other by creating these elaborate deaths and seeing how far they can push coroners to declare suicides.

They are seriously farked up people.
2012-12-31 01:30:20 PM  
1 votes:
Dr. Wilcox: We are satisfied that on the balance of probabilities that Gareth was killed unlawfully and we can not rule out involvement by the secret services
MI6:Splendid, Dr. Wilcox. Keep up the good work and for your efforts would you like to see the lovely line of carry-all bags we keep just for our agents.
Dr. Wilcox: It is highly probable Gareth killed himself.
2012-12-31 12:54:32 PM  
1 votes:

A Terrible Human: advex101: Like giving people a large does of LSD and then putting them in a 23rd floor appartment with an open window. If not this time then eventually you will jump.

Actually from what I've read that guy had blunt force trauma before he jumped so yeaaaah that didn't work however they planned it.


Who knows what that guy was doing before he jumped. He was on drugs. In our society that explains away everything. How many guys were shot to death by police because they were "on PCP"?
2012-12-31 12:52:42 PM  
1 votes:

apoptotic: Bigdogdaddy: Had a suicide here where a guy shot himself in the back of the head 3 times. Yeah, seriously. Of course, this is the land of Oz, anything can happen here.

Well that story was probably just concocted to divert attention from the possibility he was shot by a murderous marsupial or some rogue form of vegetation.


Well, this guy was a private detective that had been hired to look into the then Chief of police's activities. Nothing to see here citizen, move along.
2012-12-31 12:50:12 PM  
1 votes:
Driving you to commit suicide is way better for the security service. Like giving people a large does of LSD and then putting them in a 23rd floor appartment with an open window. If not this time then eventually you will jump. At that point the cause of death is (drum roll please) drug abuse. From the standpoint of the people that want you dead it's a perfect result. That way if any notes or letters show up they are just the product of a drug addled mind.
2012-12-31 12:36:21 PM  
1 votes:
From a guardian article earlier this year:

"An iPhone found in his living room had recently been wiped and restored to factory settings, and it could not be ruled out that contact with a third party had been made via the internet on that phone, she said."
2012-12-31 12:28:35 PM  
1 votes:
In unrelated news, the Hitman Travel Agency just announced a special London package, for the hitman and his victim. Highlights include a special Invitation to London for the victim, lodgings for both hitman and victim at separate locations, and the services of a crack team of coroners and other trades including hardware, poisons, and gas/electric experts.
2012-12-31 12:15:30 PM  
1 votes:
Yeah, and Alexander Litvinenko just ate some bad sushi.
2012-12-31 12:13:50 PM  
1 votes:
Suspicious.

They tried to replicate what he had to have done were it suicide, and the team doing it did not succeed in over 400 attempts. Then a 'retired seargent' managed it once, apparently so that's *clearly* what happened.
2012-12-31 12:10:28 PM  
1 votes:
Like the Clinton Death List -

"He's shot three times in the back of the head."
"Clearly a suicide."
2012-12-31 12:00:47 PM  
1 votes:

Sweaty Dynamite: Hmmm. Sounds like our local suicide with hands bound and floating in a lake.


fark me that's um wow I would move out of town before you commit "suicide"
2012-12-31 11:33:27 AM  
1 votes:
cache.boston.com

Ah, the old "Dirty Einstein". I saw a midget try this once in a Hong Kong opium den in 1956. Poor bastard lost a thumb trying to get the zipper on the gym bag shut."
2012-12-31 11:27:02 AM  
1 votes:

JonnyG: The sad thing is that a majority will take this story as truth.


Yes, because the assasins trying to kill him thought

1st Killer - "Hey, instead of making a mess, lets just put the body into a bag so it's an easy cleanup for the landlord"
2nd Killer - "But what if he's becomes a zombie?"
1st Killer "Well, we'll lock the bag, duh. Think this is the first time I killed someone..."

No, professional killers would have staged it to look like a typical death so there would be less questions. They wouldn't zip lock the body.
2012-12-31 11:16:14 AM  
1 votes:
That sounds like a positively terrifying way to die.
2012-12-31 07:15:13 AM  
1 votes:
Man... They train those MI6 guys to do EVERYTHING.
2012-12-31 05:09:39 AM  
1 votes:
did he shoot himself in the head first, cause then i would really be impressed
 
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