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(Global Grind)   And lo, the Angel of the Lord broke the Seventh Seal, and Fame Whore of Babylon did conceive the next generation of useless celebrity   (globalgrind.com) divider line 134
    More: Scary, Kim Kardashian, Babylon, Kanye West, celebrity, Kris Jenner  
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7769 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 31 Dec 2012 at 8:37 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-31 07:47:18 AM  
She got one of your kids, got you for 18 years.

/oblig
 
2012-12-31 07:51:18 AM  
Between New Year's Eve and the spontaneous celebrations over this news breaking out in NBA locker rooms nationwide we could be looking at Peak Cristal, people.
 
2012-12-31 08:15:20 AM  
"stop the music and make noise for my baby mama"

Really?
 
2012-12-31 08:16:49 AM  
Dumbest baby ever.

Also, may be the antichrist.
 
2012-12-31 08:35:04 AM  

LlamaGirl: Dumbest baby ever.

Also, may be the antichrist.


I haven't memorized Revalations but I remember something about a whore bearing the AntiChrist so I'm leaning towards agreeing
 
2012-12-31 08:39:45 AM  

gambitsgirl: LlamaGirl: Dumbest baby ever.

Also, may be the antichrist.

I haven't memorized Revalations but I remember something about a whore bearing the AntiChrist so I'm leaning towards agreeing


What will be even funnier is when Kim tweets the photo of "Q*Bert's rockin' birthmark" and all her fans run to the tattoo shop to get that "666" inked on their own melons.
 
2012-12-31 08:41:20 AM  
That's great and all, Kim, and I'm'a let ya finish, but Beyonce had the greatest celebrity baby of all time!!!

/OF ALL TIME!!!!
 
2012-12-31 08:41:49 AM  
finally! some mamma mammaries to match dat ass! hallelujah, holy-shiat, where's the tylenol?

/i weep for that child's future
 
2012-12-31 08:42:38 AM  

Sybarite: She got one of your kids, got you for 18 years.

/oblig


I was expecting the headline to have this in it, I think subby's going to get trumped.

/well played
 
2012-12-31 08:42:41 AM  
Bravo, Subby! So much better headline than mine.

The internets are yours.
 
2012-12-31 08:52:59 AM  
media.tumblr.com
 
2012-12-31 08:53:44 AM  
IMHO 'Fame Whore of Babylon' would make a distinctive Fark moniker. +1, Subster.

/ yeah, Subby loves it
// I like it when Subby calls me names. hint-hint
 
2012-12-31 08:54:36 AM  
stop the music and make noise for my ba

Yo Kanye, I'm really happy for ya an I'ma let you finish, but Kate Middleton is the best baby mamma of all time!
 
2012-12-31 08:57:55 AM  
Vegas should take bets on how long it takes for her baby bump diameter to surpass the diameter of dat ass. i've got week 34.
 
2012-12-31 08:58:03 AM  
Yo, baby. I'm really happy for ya, but that other titty has the best milk of all time. ALL TIME!
 
2012-12-31 08:58:24 AM  
Oh man, I wish the Mayans had been right....
 
2012-12-31 09:00:46 AM  

gambitsgirl: LlamaGirl: Dumbest baby ever.

Also, may be the antichrist.

I haven't memorized Revalations but I remember something about a whore bearing the AntiChrist so I'm leaning towards agreeing


Some scholars think a whore bore the original version, too. Fathered by a Roman soldier.
 
2012-12-31 09:01:10 AM  
Just think of the family discussions based around how much money they can make with the baby?
 
2012-12-31 09:02:15 AM  

divgradcurl: /i weep for that child's future


"Her marriage lasted 72 days, her cat lasted two weeks, this baby is farked."

/credit Jenny Johnson.
 
2012-12-31 09:02:53 AM  

IlGreven: stop the music and make noise for my ba

Yo Kanye subby, I'm really happy for ya an I'ma let you finish, but Kate Middleton Lindsay Lohan is the best baby mamma fame whore of all time!

 
2012-12-31 09:05:46 AM  
i'm ok with this if only because they will likely set an unbreakable new standard for obnoxious celebrity baby name - to the point where it'll probably destroy the phenomenon completely.
 
2012-12-31 09:10:31 AM  
jaypgreene.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-12-31 09:16:14 AM  
"If you ant no punk holla we want prenup
WE WANT PRENUP! Yeah
It's something that you need to have
'Cause when she leave yo ass she gone leave with half
18 years, 18 years
And on her 18th birthday he found out it wasn't his"
 
2012-12-31 09:17:00 AM  
Mayans? Check.
I'mma Let You Finish? Check.
Dat Ass? Check.

You guys take all the good stuff.
 
2012-12-31 09:17:01 AM  

braedan: Oh man, I wish the Mayans had been right....


They may have been, just off by 9 months or so...
 
2012-12-31 09:19:11 AM  
Dang, Kanye tried to hit the epic pooper and missed.
 
2012-12-31 09:20:00 AM  
Jesus, how fat is her ass gonna be now?
 
2012-12-31 09:22:05 AM  
It will turn out to be a smart, witty kid that just laughs at the circus they grew up in. They will eventually go on to win the Nobel prize in chemistry.
 
2012-12-31 09:23:07 AM  
I won't pass judgment until I see a Perez Hilton picture of Kim Kardashian with photoshop jizz smeared all over her face.
 
2012-12-31 09:26:04 AM  
Is this her way of getting in the headlines for the new year? It's time we made this country more like reality shows to where we can vote people off.
 
2012-12-31 09:43:25 AM  
Yesterday Jessica Simpson tweeted her new baby bump (god I hate that phrase) and I thought, "Great. Another two year pregnancy from Simpson." But then I wake up to find two of America's biggest attention whores are having a baby? Get ready for Kim's new series focusing on her pregnancy, the birthing special, then a series following this kid as it grows up. Now I'm wondering why the Kardashians don't have their own magazine?

I may want to kill myself.
 
2012-12-31 09:43:37 AM  
fark the world
 
2012-12-31 09:43:44 AM  
The tabloids have been reporting she's pregnant for the last few months.
 
2012-12-31 09:47:25 AM  
i'm thinking dat ass is going to expand exponentially
 
2012-12-31 09:49:22 AM  
OK, subs, that one made me chuckle!
/good jorb!
 
2012-12-31 09:50:10 AM  
I was much less annoyed by this once I realized how much fun Joel McHale and the writers of The Soup are going to have with this over the course of the year. It could be epic.
 
2012-12-31 09:51:04 AM  
Why do useless people breed?
 
2012-12-31 09:51:58 AM  
How much do you want to bet they will turn this "birth" into a reality show on MTV?

"Kardashian and Pregnant"
 
2012-12-31 09:52:55 AM  

ToxicMunkee: Yesterday Jessica Simpson tweeted her new baby bump (god I hate that phrase) and I thought, "Great. Another two year pregnancy from Simpson." But then I wake up to find two of America's biggest attention whores are having a baby? Get ready for Kim's new series focusing on her pregnancy, the birthing special, then a series following this kid as it grows up. Now I'm wondering why the Kardashians don't have their own magazine?

I may want to kill myself.


Brace yourself, things like these could come in threes. Oh maybe we get lucky and Snooki's kid was the first of this trifecta and we cut our losses.
 
2012-12-31 09:54:20 AM  
I thought this thread was going to be about Lady Gaga.

I am disappoint.
 
2012-12-31 09:58:24 AM  
dragon927: Jesus, how fat is her ass gonna be now?

I'm hoping her figure never recovers, so we can finally see what she has to offer the world besides bland, deadeyed facial expressions and blatantly-posed-but-allegedly-candid photos of her getting in and out of limousines.
 
2012-12-31 10:08:57 AM  
So this is her revenge for Kate Middleton returning the clothes and stuff she sent her. If KK is 12 weeks, the two of them will be due close together and she wants to divert attention from the Royal babby.
 
2012-12-31 10:12:05 AM  
Adam Kardashian West. It will be like every Roland Emmerich movie sequence but for real. The baby will be ejected from the room sized pulsating womb. The doctor's eyes will widen in terror and a nurse will faint. Cut to blood splattering around the glass walls while the agonal shrieks pierce the air. Kanye, covered in warm pina colada smelling vernix will drop to his knees and slowly begin to chew the glitter encrusted placenta. The baby will not cry or move. It will slowly rise to its feet and cut its own umbilical cord with scissors made of octupus bone and 14 karat gold. As it smiles and begins to dress itself in a five button pin strip Hermes linen suit, Kanye mumbles, 'Welcome to earf.' The white house explodes.
 
2012-12-31 10:13:42 AM  
I know I'm just being cynical, but this seems like one of those well orchestrated moments designed to keep these two in the headlines.

/Step 1: fake pregnancy
//Step 2: fake miscarriage
///Step 3: profit
 
2012-12-31 10:16:11 AM  

steklo: How much do you want to bet they will turn this "birth" into a reality show on MTV?

"Kardashian and Pregnant"


I think E! has the rights to all of Kardashian television shows, so it'll probably get worked into the Kourtney and Kim show.
 
2012-12-31 10:16:45 AM  
If you stop paying attention, they will go away. It's not as if KK has ever produced anything of value to anyone, and KW is just one of many one hit wonders who's outlasted his abilities. Neither will be missed.
 
2012-12-31 10:16:56 AM  
I didn't realise you could get pregnant from teh buttsecks.
 
2012-12-31 10:17:34 AM  
If I didn't have 99 problems, I might have bought them a gift.
 
2012-12-31 10:17:38 AM  

lovefirststool: Adam Kardashian West. It will be like every Roland Emmerich movie sequence but for real. The baby will be ejected from the room sized pulsating womb. The doctor's eyes will widen in terror and a nurse will faint. Cut to blood splattering around the glass walls while the agonal shrieks pierce the air. Kanye, covered in warm pina colada smelling vernix will drop to his knees and slowly begin to chew the glitter encrusted placenta. The baby will not cry or move. It will slowly rise to its feet and cut its own umbilical cord with scissors made of octupus bone and 14 karat gold. As it smiles and begins to dress itself in a five button pin strip Hermes linen suit, Kanye mumbles, 'Welcome to earf.' The white house explodes.


That was vivid.
 
2012-12-31 10:19:17 AM  

H31N0US: If you stop paying attention, they will go away.


To stop those monsters, one-two-three,
Here's a fresh new way that's trouble-free,
It's got Paul Anka's guarantee!
(Guarantee void in Tennessee)
Just don't look! Just don't look!
 
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