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(UPI)   If you're not careful this New Year's Eve, YOU'LL PUT YOUR EYE OUT   (upi.com) divider line 37
    More: PSA, New Year's Eve, American Academy of Ophthalmology, eye doctor  
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4950 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Dec 2012 at 9:36 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



37 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-12-30 07:18:22 PM
The cork can be dangerous. As the only straight guy at a champagne brunch, I almost nailed the only straight woman there with a flying cork. Much was made about the war of the sexes.
 
2012-12-30 08:26:19 PM
Don't shake the bottle. Shaking increases the speed at which the cork leaves the bottle.

This nugget of wisdom brought to you by

media.giantbomb.com
 
2012-12-30 08:48:59 PM
I fired one off a few years back that launched so hard, it hit my birdcage 25' away and nearly killed my budgie.
 
2012-12-30 09:41:39 PM
Maybe there will be an update of "things stuck in our rectum in 2012".
 
2012-12-30 09:41:47 PM

gopher321: I fired one off a few years back that launched so hard, it hit my birdcage 25' away and nearly killed my budgie.


Imagine the damage you'd have done with a champagne bottle cork.
 
2012-12-30 09:42:19 PM
If you open it right there's no spillage. That's alcohol abuse.
 
2012-12-30 09:42:55 PM
Hi, my name is Monica l. Monica. No, I don't stutter, why?
 
2012-12-30 09:44:22 PM
Same advice holds for my cock, biatches
 
2012-12-30 09:46:28 PM
damage to the eye's bone structure.

TIL the eye has a bone structure! What's the eye bone connected to, the ear bone or the nose bone?
 
2012-12-30 09:48:41 PM

wildcardjack: If you open it right there's no spillage. That's alcohol abuse.


Try to tell that to Major Leaguers that win a pennant or World Series. They commit alcohol genocide.
 
2012-12-30 09:48:58 PM

destrip: damage to the eye's bone structure.

TIL the eye has a bone structure! What's the eye bone connected to, the ear bone or the nose bone?


Yours may be on stalks, but most of us have eye sockets made of bone.
 
2012-12-30 09:50:16 PM

Boojum2k: destrip: damage to the eye's bone structure.

TIL the eye has a bone structure! What's the eye bone connected to, the ear bone or the nose bone?

Yours may be on stalks, but most of us have eye sockets made of bone.


Duh. I was talking about the eye itself.
 
2012-12-30 09:52:07 PM
I poked my wife in the eye one time on New Years. Does that count? Can you shoot somebody's boob out?
 
2012-12-30 09:54:03 PM
I worked in a restaurant where we nicknamed a waiter Corky. Because he nailed two diners in the face with champagne corks.

Good times.
 
2012-12-30 09:56:49 PM
SAN FRANCISCO, Dec. 30 (UPI) -- The pressure inside a champagne bottle can launch a cork at 50 miles per hour as it leaves the bottle, fast enough to shatter glass, U.S. eye experts say.

Yea, but what do the glass experts and champagne cork experts say?
 
2012-12-30 10:05:55 PM
We need more information - is the 50mph figure at room temperature, or when chilled? Inside a sealed bottle, the air pressure at 45 degrees is lower than it would be at room temperature. That'll change the launch speed of the cork.
 
2012-12-30 10:06:27 PM
Film trivia for the day: while shooting the movie version of A Prairie Home Companion, Kevin Kline tried to kill director Robert Altman via this method.
 
2012-12-30 10:11:18 PM
My daughter and nephew have a contest every x-mas who shoots the cork further into my parents yard, both are 11yrs old. happily no one got killed again this year. Freinds don't let retards open champagne bottles. Maybe we should do 3 day waiting lists on them after all.
/sorry feeling sarcastic
 
2012-12-30 10:20:02 PM

tetsoushima: I poked my wife..


Who hasn't?

lh5.googleusercontent.com
 
2012-12-30 10:20:24 PM
I'll take my chances.
 
2012-12-30 10:41:54 PM
to keep it safe I always use a sword to open the bottle, just run it up the side fast, catch the cork and follow through on the swing till the blade naturally stops in your brother-in-law's neck. Mission accomplished.
 
2012-12-30 11:01:27 PM

gopher321: I fired one off a few years back that launched so hard, it hit my birdcage 25' away and nearly killed my budgie.


in my late teens early twenties i was in several loops, primarily for my blessed ability to hit objects 8' - 10' away. you my friend are a God!
 
2012-12-30 11:09:50 PM
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com

/oblig
 
2012-12-30 11:18:38 PM
www.freakingnews.com
 
2012-12-30 11:26:39 PM
CHAMPAGNE ACCEPT-Ouch...
 
2012-12-30 11:29:37 PM
Champagne corks indoors. Bullets outdoors (well, in the Detroit area at least).
 
2012-12-30 11:38:38 PM
I was hoping for huge tracts of land in this thread.
 
2012-12-30 11:51:00 PM
This is why you should buy American sparkling wine and not that French champagne crap. American sparkling wine would never put an eye out.
 
2012-12-30 11:59:57 PM
If it's New Year's Eve, you're in more danger of putting your liver out.
 
2012-12-31 12:42:20 AM

Fark Rye For Many Whores: [www.freakingnews.com image 850x608]


Hold my beer and watch this...no wait...I have a better idea...
 
2012-12-31 01:34:45 AM
This is why I only get screw top
 
2012-12-31 07:33:15 AM

cyberspacedout: We need more information - is the 50mph figure at room temperature, or when chilled? Inside a sealed bottle, the air pressure at 45 degrees is lower than it would be at room temperature. That'll change the launch speed of the cork.


Are we talking about African Cork, or European Cork?
 
2012-12-31 08:24:42 AM
whatculture.com

Been there ...done that!
 
2012-12-31 10:41:12 AM
That's what she said!
 
2012-12-31 10:55:01 AM
Story is useless without statistics.
 
2012-12-31 08:45:52 PM

jso2897: cyberspacedout: We need more information - is the 50mph figure at room temperature, or when chilled? Inside a sealed bottle, the air pressure at 45 degrees is lower than it would be at room temperature. That'll change the launch speed of the cork.

Are we talking about African Cork, or European Cork?


If it's real Champagne, it must be European. That should be enough information to calculate the air-speed velocity of an unladen cork.
 
2012-12-31 08:59:34 PM
Those icicles have been known to kill people.
 
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