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(NJ.com)   Forty-nine-year-old dude comes clean about laundry bill, his 24 year-old girlfriend hammers home her point   (nj.com) divider line 69
    More: Dumbass, hammers  
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18646 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Dec 2012 at 10:47 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-30 06:28:05 PM
So the make-up sex will include handcuffs?
 
2012-12-30 07:27:58 PM
Honestly, when a bf twice your age doesn't even have laundry money for ya, what else is he good for?
 
2012-12-30 07:39:23 PM

BarkingUnicorn: Honestly, when a bf twice your age doesn't even have laundry money for ya, what else is he good for?


His elephant sized dong?
 
2012-12-30 07:41:24 PM
You forgot rule number 1. dont ever, ever, stick your cack in crazy. Well, scratch that, dont LIVE with crazy, just stick it in and run away when you're done.
 
2012-12-30 07:52:15 PM

Bit'O'Gristle: You forgot rule number 1. dont ever, ever, stick your cack in crazy. Well, scratch that, dont LIVE with crazy, just stick it in and run away when you're done.


Affirmative. Some of my best stories...
 
2012-12-30 07:52:52 PM
TAIUWP
 
2012-12-30 07:53:30 PM
No one likes to be unnecessarily peened down.
 
2012-12-30 08:02:54 PM
If I wanted to pay to get my laundry done I would take it to a pro. The girlfriend does it gratis or not at all.
 
2012-12-30 08:17:02 PM
When he pleaded with her to stop breaking his possessions, she turned and charged at him saying, "I'm going to hit you in the head with the hammer," reports said.

Such an oddly specific thing to say. I'd expect someone in the middle of a hammer swinging rage to say something like "I'll bash your skull!" or "I'm gonna farking kill you!"
 
2012-12-30 08:23:19 PM

fusillade762: When he pleaded with her to stop breaking his possessions, she turned and charged at him saying, "I'm going to hit you in the head with the hammer," reports said.

Such an oddly specific thing to say. I'd expect someone in the middle of a hammer swinging rage to say something like "I'll bash your skull!" or "I'm gonna farking kill you!"


Or the hammer is my penis
 
NFA [TotalFark]
2012-12-30 09:14:16 PM
goodcomics.comicbookresources.com
 
2012-12-30 09:24:00 PM

fusillade762: When he pleaded with her to stop breaking his possessions, she turned and charged at him saying, "I'm going to hit you in the head with the hammer," reports said.

Such an oddly specific thing to say. I'd expect someone in the middle of a hammer swinging rage to say something like "I'll bash your skull!" or "I'm gonna farking kill you!"


"I am preparing to advance on you rapidly and swing this blunt object at your cranium with a great deal of force!!!!"
 
2012-12-30 09:45:39 PM
Abbey's worldview on this -
She's banging this old dude because she wants his money.
If she is too cheap to pay for her laundry or give her 20 bucks to get her eyebrows done he is worthless. These mugshots ALWAYS have the chicks with the eyebrows in need of repair.
After and few year on Fark I am suspicious of poor eyebrow etiquette.

/yay 502
 
2012-12-30 10:19:43 PM
Don't read the comments, don't read the comments...
*****
Jesus I read the comments... WTF is wrong with people?
 
2012-12-30 10:24:50 PM
This is what happens when you give women rights... they act as if they are equal..
 
2012-12-30 10:43:58 PM
rlv.zcache.com

I'm the first? Really?
 
2012-12-30 10:53:05 PM

Notabunny: Bit'O'Gristle: You forgot rule number 1. dont ever, ever, stick your cack in crazy. Well, scratch that, dont LIVE with crazy, just stick it in and run away when you're done.

Affirmative. Some of my best stories...


Thanks for letting all Farkdom know you both suck as humans. "Hey yeah bro I banged a mentally unstable woman! You shoulda seeeen all the bottles of medication on the nightstand. Aren't I the guy you want to associate with?" LOSERS. FARKING LOSERS.

/ probably WISH you could get teh crazy cha-cha. LOSERS
 
2012-12-30 10:55:05 PM
img94.imageshack.us
 
2012-12-30 10:56:41 PM
FTA:

Jazmin Duran, 24, was arrested and charged with aggravated assault, terroristic threats, criminal mischief, domestic violence, possession of weapon, unlawful possession of a weapon, resisting arrest police reports said.

There were six sins in one feel, man!

/obscure?
//that's a lot of charges for one incident
 
2012-12-30 10:57:40 PM
No Duran Duran jokes?

/View To A Kill
//Femme Fatale
///Out Of My Mind
////Or: Duran Duran is covering Hammer Time now?
 
2012-12-30 10:58:44 PM
It sounds like New Jersey's laws are absurdly broadly written if they're throwing in two counts of possession of a hammer.

It's time for the American public to have a reasonable discussion about hammer control. /oblig
 
2012-12-30 11:01:12 PM
KrispyKritter: probably WISH you could get teh crazy cha-cha. LOSERS
profile: Wife of 18 years makes me regret marriage, as well as all the years I spent dating and living with her. Because some people turn into things you'd never imagine, and make you wish you were dead. Our Chow-Chow is the reason I haven't killed myself already.

struck a nerve?
 
2012-12-30 11:06:53 PM
What's the difference between lawful and unlawful possession of a hammer? I have one or two, but their not registered - does it become unlawful when you tell someone you're going to hit them in the head with it?
 
2012-12-30 11:09:47 PM
He needs to substitute her for his mum, at least he'll get his washing done.
 
2012-12-30 11:09:54 PM

AbbeySomeone: These mugshots ALWAYS have the chicks with the eyebrows in need of repair.


That's a file photo of a police car.
 
2012-12-30 11:10:23 PM

Notabunny: So the make-up sex will include handcuffs?


===========

Since she's in jail, it will have to be a conjugal visit. She'll have to drop her orange jail drawers and turn around and jam her hot butt up against the steel bars while he rams it home from the other side........at least that how they do it in those women in prison pornos I've seen.
 
2012-12-30 11:14:55 PM
damn, i hoped her name was unique enough to produce her fb...no such luck
 
2012-12-30 11:17:23 PM
I'm surprised they didn't still arrest the guy and let the woman go free.
 
2012-12-30 11:21:07 PM
I can't know whether to convict her, without a picture.
 
2012-12-30 11:23:14 PM

salukiboy: damn, i hoped her name was unique enough to produce her fb...no such luck


==================

You are hoping she's gonna be a hot Latina? Sorry to burst your bubble, but this took place in Jersey City........there are no hot women in Jersey City.
 
2012-12-30 11:25:19 PM
black people problems.
 
2012-12-30 11:28:04 PM
I am attracted to crazy.

I admit it. It feels better saying it out loud.

Right now I'm watching homeland and the crazy and hot cia agent is busy getting humped against the wall after a full on mental break of love and obsession.

I want a gal who loves me so much she would cut off my head and eat it. You know if she had to.

Of course the problem is that type of woman would think of a reason why she had to.
 
2012-12-30 11:35:29 PM
Oh, and her fingernails should shine like justice.
 
2012-12-30 11:36:46 PM
[halt_hammerzeit.jpg]
 
2012-12-30 11:41:59 PM
Clearly a violation of half your age plus 7 rule.
 
2012-12-30 11:49:34 PM
When a poor 49 y.o. can score a 24 y.o., it's because she can't get anyone in her age group, and that's baaad!
 
2012-12-30 11:54:46 PM

Bit'O'Gristle: You forgot rule number 1. dont ever, ever, stick your cack in crazy. Well, scratch that, dont LIVE with crazy, just stick it in and run away when you're done.


And make sure crazy's in a different county, if not state
 
2012-12-30 11:56:07 PM

Fade2black: black people problems.


Fat black people problems. When the guy is named Jazmin FFS and the GF is 24, there is only one demographic involved.
 
2012-12-30 11:59:46 PM
And since no-one else seems to be recognizing talent l wd like to award a +1 to Notabunny for a great opening comment, and notyoucoach for his '60's music reference for all the old geezers here
 
2012-12-31 12:04:25 AM

Smackledorfer: I am attracted to crazy.

I admit it. It feels better saying it out loud.


Nothing wrong with being attracted to crazy. Like any thought, or urge, or emotion, it's what you do--or don't do--about it that counts.

/run away
 
2012-12-31 12:06:27 AM
Back in my day, hammer attacks were more of a white collar crime.

\Theodore Streleski
 
2012-12-31 12:17:15 AM

tb tibbles: When a poor 49 y.o. can score a 24 y.o., it's because she can't get anyone in her age group, and that's baaad!


I think we should wait for photographic evidence. This dude might be a baller.
 
2012-12-31 12:17:29 AM

KrispyKritter: Notabunny: Bit'O'Gristle: You forgot rule number 1. dont ever, ever, stick your cack in crazy. Well, scratch that, dont LIVE with crazy, just stick it in and run away when you're done.

Affirmative. Some of my best stories...

Thanks for letting all Farkdom know you both suck as humans. "Hey yeah bro I banged a mentally unstable woman! You shoulda seeeen all the bottles of medication on the nightstand. Aren't I the guy you want to associate with?" LOSERS. FARKING LOSERS.

/ probably WISH you could get teh crazy cha-cha. LOSERS


You seem a bit bitter today.
What, are an Eagles fan?

/ya might want to go reread your bio
//don't take it out on us
 
2012-12-31 12:18:23 AM

just_intonation: FTA:

Jazmin Duran, 24, was arrested and charged with aggravated assault, terroristic threats, criminal mischief, domestic violence, possession of weapon, unlawful possession of a weapon, resisting arrest police reports said.

There were six sins in one feel, man!

/obscure?
//that's a lot of charges for one incident


You have to WANNA. In fact, WANNA, is a sin all by itself. Thou shalt not WANNA.

/nothing is obscure
//yadda yadda
///slashies
 
2012-12-31 12:18:53 AM

mjjt: Fade2black: black people problems.

Fat black people problems. When the guy is named Jazmin FFS and the GF is 24, there is only one demographic involved.


I think Jazmin is the woman.

After having a child this year, I have some advise for parents to be. Does the name you're considering sound like a stripper's name? If the answer is anything but a certain "no" don't name your daughter it.
 
2012-12-31 12:20:29 AM
Be nice to me, but is a laundry bill like a dry cleaning bill, or do people that aren't rich send their laundry out in other places of the country?

Forgive me, I've always lived west of the Mississippi and had machines in my home that allowed me to do it myself, or at the minimum there were some available in my apartment building that took quarters.
 
2012-12-31 12:24:48 AM

DS1970: I can't know whether to convict her, without a picture.


Agreed! They are only guily IF they are UGLY!
 
2012-12-31 12:28:29 AM

buzzcut73: Be nice to me, but is a laundry bill like a dry cleaning bill, or do people that aren't rich send their laundry out in other places of the country?

Forgive me, I've always lived west of the Mississippi and had machines in my home that allowed me to do it myself, or at the minimum there were some available in my apartment building that took quarters.


Could be a dry cleaners.

She has her dainty and fancy stuff that her sugar daddy, such as he is oughta be paying. Thats what she puts out for.
 
2012-12-31 12:29:11 AM

buzzcut73: Be nice to me, but is a laundry bill like a dry cleaning bill, or do people that aren't rich send their laundry out in other places of the country?

Forgive me, I've always lived west of the Mississippi and had machines in my home that allowed me to do it myself, or at the minimum there were some available in my apartment building that took quarters.


I wondered the same thing. I've got to believe that her "laundry bill" must relate to an occupation that requires laundry to be done frequently. Like a stripper.
 
2012-12-31 12:33:28 AM

buzzcut73: Be nice to me, but is a laundry bill like a dry cleaning bill, or do people that aren't rich send their laundry out in other places of the country?

Forgive me, I've always lived west of the Mississippi and had machines in my home that allowed me to do it myself, or at the minimum there were some available in my apartment building that took quarters.


What???? You far reaching people of west of the Mississippi have machines that wash your clothes? In your house? Or apartment and it take quarters? Us easterners of da river has heard tall stories but to meet someone with this?
 
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