If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Technorati)   92 percent of Americans are prudes   (technorati.com) divider line 45
    More: Sad, Americans, prudes  
•       •       •

24198 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Dec 2012 at 10:52 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-12-30 11:04:44 AM
8 votes:
This is a good policy. 92% of Americans should *never* be naked under any circumstances. Muumuus were invented for a reason.
2012-12-30 11:29:08 AM
6 votes:

Spanky_McFarksalot: I use to until I got a dog. he sleeps with me. don't want accidental buttsecks


Well, that just means he has to wear underwear.

Mine doesn't sleep in my bed, but I'm thinking about making him wear boxers around the house anyway. I don't like the way he flaunts his junk all day. Yeah, yeah, I get it, your dick is bigger than mine. At least mine is still attached to some testicles, you stupid pug.
2012-12-30 09:58:15 AM
5 votes:
The primary reason to sleep in at least underwear is skid marks on the good sheets after Burrito Night at Chili's.

It's just common sense, people.
2012-12-30 05:44:59 PM
4 votes:

lilistonic: I wear (here's that word some of you children fear) panties while sleeping. It's just more comfortable for me.


I'm with you sister.

Occasionally I'll wrap myself in my special satin nightgown when I'm trying to look elegant for a certain gentleman.
Anything heavier just makes my balls sweat till morning.
2012-12-30 11:12:41 AM
4 votes:
I don't go to bed naked, but I often wake up naked. Sometimes with odd bruises and piss all over the bathroom.
2012-12-30 12:04:44 PM
3 votes:

Three-Fifty: Having had my first apartment broken into during the FIRST night I ever tried sleeping in the nude, I have to say it has limited appeal for me. Trying to find something to wear in the dark while on the phone with a 911 operator takes the fun out of being naked.

Plus, how exciting is being nude if you are always nude?

Also, just like people who claim to not wear underwear under their day clothes, people who sleep in the nude will be certain to tell you about their habit within 5 minutes of meeting.


Hey, I just met you and this is crazy, when I'm sleeping, I sleep nakie.
2012-12-30 03:01:25 AM
3 votes:
Good god that webpage autoopened two competing videos.

Anyhow, I don't sleep in the nude because I wouldn't want to accidentally the bed.
2012-12-30 04:22:32 PM
2 votes:

notatrollorami: Over Christmas the wife and I stayed in a Hampton Inn ...And we did fark all over that bed


Over Christmas I stayed at a Hampton Inn next door to a couple who enthusiastically farked all over their bed, and (unless the acoustics are deceiving me) a few times in the shower, too. Of course, it probably wasn't you, but if it was, kudos to you both on an impressive performance, and kudos to the paper-thin Hampton Inn walls that let me hear everything louder than the condom wrapper being opened. Not that that would have been a problem, as you both have a healthy set of lungs and a rich vocabulary.

Regrettably, my wife was not as entertained, as you may have noticed from the frost forming on your side of our adjoining wall.

/true story bro
2012-12-30 02:11:26 PM
2 votes:
i dress business casual to bed
sometimes with a suit and tie.
kth
2012-12-30 01:49:54 PM
2 votes:
Too much of a temperature difference between me and the hubby. Most nights I'm in a nightgown, under a sheet, comforter and a down comforter. He's under a sheet with the fan on. For the winter, I bought a long-sleeved nightgown from LL Bean, and severely underestimated the length of the skirt. It has been dubbed the Mennonightie.
2012-12-30 11:57:22 AM
2 votes:

Shakin_Haitian: Why are there so many people who crap themselves? Jesus.

Anyway, I sleep naked. It's just so much more comfortable.


Sometimes you over-trust a fart, you know. Happens to the best of us.
2012-12-30 11:13:50 AM
2 votes:

DirtyOldGeek: vudukungfu: SnarfVader: I used to as a teenager, but that stopped when I enlisted in the Navy.

/Yeah, go ahead. I've heard them all before.

Thank you for your service, miss.

Miss?? From his bio:

have a loving wife and three daughters.

Check his bio. Hot wife? Check. Barrett .50 mm sniper rifle? Check.


I hate to bust a myth on that, but...
2012-12-30 11:11:13 AM
2 votes:

traylor: Do socks count?

This is important.


I can tell you they certainly do not count at the beach, stupid life guards and their "put on a bathing suit you pervert" this and "mommy why does that man have three legs?" that.
2012-12-30 11:05:13 AM
2 votes:

vudukungfu: SnarfVader: I used to as a teenager, but that stopped when I enlisted in the Navy.

/Yeah, go ahead. I've heard them all before.

Thank you for your service, miss.


OooooooK. I guess I hadn't heard them all before.
2012-12-30 11:00:33 AM
2 votes:

SnarfVader: I used to as a teenager, but that stopped when I enlisted in the Navy.

/Yeah, go ahead. I've heard them all before.


Thank you for your service, miss.
2012-12-31 02:10:19 PM
1 votes:
The main reason I ever do it is because I can easily place the sleeping girlfriends hand directly onto my genitals. Shes now convinced that she has a habit of molesting me in her sleep, so everything I wake her up do it, I get away with claiming she started it.
2012-12-30 10:11:43 PM
1 votes:
*as

FIFM
2012-12-30 02:57:43 PM
1 votes:

PhaserQuest: I sleep clothed. When I was seven I was dragged out of bed and outside because of a large earthquake. It was terrifying at the time. Now I'm afraid of a natural disaster striking and having to get up and go. I live in Southern California and the earthquake I'm referring to is the Northridge Earthquake, but the pocket I live in is also prone to fires. It's walking around partially or even fully naked in my home during the day that feels more comfortable.


what's the worse thing that can happen. getting arrested and having to register as a sex offender??
2012-12-30 02:37:27 PM
1 votes:

Ima4nic8or: I am mid 40s and one of the 8%ers, so who knows, you may be on to something. Its not a matter of exhibitionism. Its just that we are not prudes and dont have unusual mental hang ups about the nude human body. We also have no issue with it if you like your clothes. While we hope you dont have any problem with our nudity, we are not about to cover up because you have some sort of mental issue.


Considering you feel the need to announce in your very name that you have sex outside of marriage (OO!! Shocking! Really! You're so edgy! SRSLY! Mean it!), you really shouldn't be surprised that people tend to think that you may, just possibly, be something of an exhibitionist or at least an attention whore.

Just sayin'.

I wear clothes because I find them comfortable, and because it's pretty-much the social norm. So get down off your high horse and for Elvis' sake put your weener away. Nothing is more silly looking than a flaccid prick. And your weener is kind of ridiculous too.
2012-12-30 02:31:18 PM
1 votes:
I sleep in full plate mail. I don't have a bargain with all of the neighborhood's dragons.
2012-12-30 01:12:34 PM
1 votes:
I used to sleep naked until the time I slept in a hotel with an overhead mirror. Woke up and damn near scared myself to death.

Sleep in a burkha now.
2012-12-30 01:11:59 PM
1 votes:
1.bp.blogspot.com

Psycat: Hell, I've slept in the nude for decades. When I'm home alone, I'm usually naked or in my underwear. The underwear is mostly to keep pubes out of my projects...


What about the beard? Do those hairs get into your "projects'?
2012-12-30 01:05:59 PM
1 votes:

Moonfisher: I have to get up on occasion to fetch glasses of water for my rotten spawn, so nightgown it is. Before them, though, it was undies and tank top.


Hermione_Granger: I don't sleep naked because I have big boobs and it's rather painful to have someone squashing your nipples with their arm. That's an unpleasant awakening, let me tell you.


Again, you farkettes taunt us without providing ample evidence.

/ample
2012-12-30 01:01:34 PM
1 votes:

Nullav: No thanks. I turn in my sleep, and I don't want to be woken up by rug-burn.


Dude, did you buy the Hotel Luxury Linens? Cause their thread counts are all whacked. It's like sleeping on sandpaper!

widelantern.com
2012-12-30 12:47:19 PM
1 votes:

Shadowtag: 92% of Americans realize it's farking WINTER. Film at 11.


There's this amazing invention, surprised you've never heard of it:

northwoodblanket.com
2012-12-30 12:16:13 PM
1 votes:
But, have you ever slept naked on the beach? And wake up bright and early with the crabs?
2012-12-30 12:13:16 PM
1 votes:

Dr. Goldshnoz: Needlessly Complicated: The SO doesn't sleep in the nude because there are cats in the house and occasionally they like to play a rousing game of "chase the giblets," if you know what I mean. And I think you do.

Why don't you save the SO's gibblets, and your sanity by getting rid of them? You know cats infect humans with a mind altering pathogen right?


*backing away slowly*
2012-12-30 12:00:40 PM
1 votes:

Sobrrr: The ONE time I slept naked the house caught on fire. And, I guess I am a prude, I spent valuable escape time looking for clothes to put on rather than immediately climbing out the window into the winter night buck naked.


That's why you keep an escape "suit" right next to the bed.

I know, planning ahead sucks and makes people's brains hurt.
2012-12-30 11:58:47 AM
1 votes:

breadprincess: Can't do it, I'm way too sensitive to textures so I have to wear pajamas to sleep.


This is a thing? Really?

Ennuipoet: The primary reason to sleep in at least underwear is skid marks on the good sheets after Burrito Night at Chili's.

It's just common sense, people.


Or, you know, you could just wipe your ass.
2012-12-30 11:54:34 AM
1 votes:
The SO doesn't sleep in the nude because there are cats in the house and occasionally they like to play a rousing game of "chase the giblets," if you know what I mean. And I think you do.
2012-12-30 11:51:47 AM
1 votes:

topcon: Only 10 percent of people sleep on their back? That sounds odd.

I can't fall asleep laying on my side unless I'm really tired.


Geez, I'm a member of another minority? Between sleeping nude, sleeping on my back, being left-handed, being agnostic, not owning a car, having a scuba-sex fetish, being a cannabis aficionado, having interests in cryptography, mazes, and silent slapstick comedy, being an anti-natalist, and having about the weirdest job/art form in the world, somebody might think I'm eccentric...
2012-12-30 11:47:46 AM
1 votes:
Metalupis: I would to see the number for "only underwear" as I am guessing that a lot of guys are like me and just wear boxers or similar

I guess I'm a member of a very small percent that goes to bed in nothing but jack boots, a pistol belt, and a helmet
2012-12-30 11:43:18 AM
1 votes:
Why are there so many people who crap themselves? Jesus.

Anyway, I sleep naked. It's just so much more comfortable.
2012-12-30 11:42:20 AM
1 votes:
And married women wear this
art.thewalters.org
2012-12-30 11:33:26 AM
1 votes:

the_celt: Naked always.

/Exceptions made for very cold nights.
//Naked most of the time anyway.
///Hate clothing


*high five*

I'm kind of annoyed at having to wear clothing right now. Going to the store for some groceries  in a bit, so had to actually clothe myself. I am less  than amused.

cdn.uproxx.com
2012-12-30 11:30:42 AM
1 votes:

Three-Fifty: Trying to find something to wear in the dark while on the phone with a 911 operator takes the fun out of being naked.


You weren't supposed to wake up, dammit.
2012-12-30 11:28:14 AM
1 votes:
I wear clothes when I sleep, but otherwise, I'm naked.
2012-12-30 11:21:14 AM
1 votes:

DirtyOldGeek: vudukungfu: SnarfVader: I used to as a teenager, but that stopped when I enlisted in the Navy.

/Yeah, go ahead. I've heard them all before.

Thank you for your service, miss.

Miss?? From his bio:

have a loving wife and three daughters.

Check his bio. Hot wife? Check. Barrett .50 mm sniper rifle? Check.


That's not my wife. That's Kari Byron from Mythbusters.
2012-12-30 11:16:49 AM
1 votes:
I love sleeping naked, can't do it this time of year, though.
2012-12-30 11:14:28 AM
1 votes:
I use to until I got a dog. he sleeps with me. don't want accidental buttsecks
2012-12-30 11:12:16 AM
1 votes:
Sleeping naked makes it easier to touch myself.
2012-12-30 11:01:15 AM
1 votes:

Miss Stein: what's the point of pajamas


It's fun to unwrap presents.
2012-12-30 10:56:24 AM
1 votes:
I sleep half naked. Guess I'm only a half prude.
2012-12-30 09:03:23 AM
1 votes:

Miss Stein: Member of the 8% here. I sleep in a heated waterbed with down comforters, so what's the point of pajamas?


Pics or it didn't happen.
2012-12-30 04:31:20 AM
1 votes:
No thanks. I turn in my sleep, and I don't want to be woken up by rug-burn.
 
Displayed 45 of 45 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report