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(WorldNetDaily)   The problem with today's baby names isn't that they're being saddled with unfortunate things like Bella, Brayden, Jayden, Katniss, and Grayden, it's that they're not biblical names   (wnd.com) divider line 63
    More: Fail, baby names, Bibles  
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8713 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Dec 2012 at 4:19 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-12-30 12:28:01 AM  
13 votes:

Millennium: Start the counter-trend: name your kid Zebulun or Hagar.


what a horrible name.
2012-12-30 01:30:19 AM  
11 votes:

Carotid: How about "Le-a" pronounced "Ledasha". I kid you not. Actual legal name.


That's my sister-in-law's name.

But she pronounces it "Lehyphena"
2012-12-30 02:42:57 AM  
10 votes:

Millennium: Start the counter-trend: name your kid Zebulun or Hagar.


Hagar? That's a horrible name.
2012-12-30 01:12:43 AM  
8 votes:
There really is a lack of good Christian Bible names like Ronald, Mitt, Newt and Rush today.
2012-12-29 11:39:37 PM  
7 votes:

Elzar: Another BS war on christianity - oh noes folks aren't using biblical names anymore...

/ My son is named after a heathen god
// fark Christians


And good look to little Cthulhu Elzar
2012-12-30 05:14:35 AM  
5 votes:

pjc51: I'm kind of surprised that my name, Philip, is so unpopular nowadays. It was 68th place in 1979 when I was born, but it's down to 378th in 2011. Good biblical name and all.


between then and now, this happened

theseconddisc.files.wordpress.com
2012-12-30 12:58:28 AM  
5 votes:
I'll help reverse this trend.  I'm naming my kids Pilate and Nebuchadnezzar.
2012-12-30 12:39:20 AM  
5 votes:
o.onionstatic.com

/oblig
2012-12-30 12:02:25 AM  
5 votes:
Sorry, girls cant go dancing on the pole with names like Esther or Martha.

/no one tips those girls
2012-12-29 11:48:15 PM  
5 votes:

Shostie: MaudlinMutantMollusk: I think I'm having a stroke

/I meant LUCK
//WTF am I typing?

Was it a Scottish stroke?


Scotch, actually
2012-12-30 06:08:06 AM  
4 votes:

Draken_26301: I was accused of naming my kid after the mail character from A Clockwork Orange.


i50.tinypic.com
2012-12-30 05:07:15 AM  
4 votes:

flamingboar: These guys will be really pissed off if I name my son Lion-O or daughter Cheetara.


they'll probably just assume they're black

/sorry if you're black
///not sorry that you're black
////you know
//nothing wrong with being black
//they're racist I'm saying
//name racist
//goddammit
2012-12-30 04:28:39 AM  
4 votes:
I'm naming my kids Cain and Abel. What could possibly go wrong?
2012-12-30 04:27:27 AM  
4 votes:
I'm not a Christian, but Abraham is way the fark cooler than Gaydenhomosex.
2012-12-30 12:58:08 PM  
3 votes:

dragon927: The trend I hate lately are what I call "job" names.

Fisher
Hunter
Walker
Rider
Parker
etc.

It's like the parents are expecting what the kid is going to be doing all his/her life.


Someone suggested Mason and Hunter for my twins. I said that since I'm a High Expectation Asian Mother, if I were to name my sons with job descriptions, they'll be Surgeon and Lawyer.
2012-12-30 07:42:44 AM  
3 votes:
In 2012, there were eight girls' names based on biblical characters in the top 100: Chloe, Abigail, Hannah, Sarah, Anna, Elizabeth, Leah, and Julia. It's nine if one includes Maria, the Spanish name for Mary.

Quite right of WND to question the inclusion of Maria. Indeed, is it truly Biblical if it isn't from the original English?
2012-12-30 06:06:26 AM  
3 votes:

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I've been flipping through the Bible and I just don't see the names Tagg, Track, Trig or Ronald-Ann *anywhere*


You're not looking in the right book. Those names all come from the Book of Reagan.
2012-12-30 05:17:50 AM  
3 votes:
malialitman.files.wordpress.com

"Oh, Twitter is going to hear about this!"
2012-12-30 04:39:55 AM  
3 votes:
Nimrod.
2012-12-30 03:31:10 AM  
3 votes:

Millennium: Start the counter-trend: name your kid Zebulun or Hagar.


I went with Kang and Kodos. But that's just me.

/doesn't actually have kids
NFA [TotalFark]
2012-12-30 01:16:16 AM  
3 votes:
I for one will be happy when the writers of the Wing Nut Daily are forcibly fitted with shock collars that can be activated via internet.  Then are forced to be on webcam 24/7.  With every stupid comment, every ridiculous conspiracy spew, the sane people of the world can give them the shock therapy they desperately need.
2012-12-29 11:41:38 PM  
3 votes:

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I think I'm having a stroke

/I meant LUCK
//WTF am I typing?


Was it a Scottish stroke?
2012-12-30 12:10:59 PM  
2 votes:
If I had a son, I would name "Hadouken." Every time I had to call him over I would pretend like I'm throwing a fireball.

/Hadouken! Hadouken!
//(tries to jump over fireball) SHORYUKEN!
///Sucks at Street Fighter.
2012-12-30 09:06:58 AM  
2 votes:
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool.
2012-12-30 08:16:00 AM  
2 votes:
Once biblical names are the norm, these mass shootings will stop.
2012-12-30 05:57:33 AM  
2 votes:
I've been flipping through the Bible and I just don't see the names Tagg, Track, Trig or Ronald-Ann *anywhere*
2012-12-30 05:52:20 AM  
2 votes:
My next child will be named Biggus Dickus.

/even if its a boy
2012-12-30 05:29:12 AM  
2 votes:
I am so going to name my kid Satan. You can't say it's not a biblical name, can you?
2012-12-30 04:59:14 AM  
2 votes:
I'll take these people's complaints seriously when they start naming their boys Methuselah and their girls Zipporah. Until then, you're not Biblical enough, asshats.
2012-12-30 04:53:08 AM  
2 votes:
Did you catch the quiz at the end asking readers why this trend is taking place?

Two multiple choice selections:

"Native-born Americans have fewer children than some immigrant groups -- I suspect that's skewing the results"

Because you've never heard of a guy from Mexico named Jésus.

"Americans have become biblically illiterate and don't even know the names of characters found in Scripture"

Freudian slip?

/I'm gonna name my kid God to make them happy. He's one of the best-known characters from the Bible afterall.
2012-12-30 04:46:20 AM  
2 votes:
Judas, Cain, Amram, Jockabed, Lucifer, Pat, Robertson, Jerry, Fallwell...
2012-12-30 04:43:22 AM  
2 votes:
God.
2012-12-30 04:40:52 AM  
2 votes:

moothemagiccow: If we're going with religious names, I'm using Greek ones.

basemetal: Sorry, girls cant go dancing on the pole with names like Esther or Martha.

/no one tips those girls

You think those girls are all really called Roxy?


It's still real to me, dammit!
2012-12-30 04:20:23 AM  
2 votes:
Jesus Christ!
2012-12-30 02:31:15 AM  
2 votes:
Is that so? Then I presume the WND acolytes have terrific things to say Adam Lanza, James Holmes and John Hinkley. Right? Right?

/Imbecilic rationale
2012-12-30 02:30:59 AM  
2 votes:
We should be giving kids good biblical names like Herod or Pontius Pilate.
2012-12-30 12:30:58 AM  
2 votes:
My sister was looking for baby names (twins and they decided not know gender so they have to pick out 8 names) and was joking about some of her least favorites, one of which was Shirtney. Now the twins have been nicknamed Shirtyney and Pantsney before birth.
2012-12-30 12:03:03 AM  
2 votes:
Start the counter-trend: name your kid Zebulun or Hagar.
2012-12-30 02:16:38 PM  
1 votes:

fusillade762: [o.onionstatic.com image 850x714]

/oblig


Propecia? That's a NAME? Next thing, someone with bald-faced cheek will name their child Alopecia!
2012-12-30 01:31:13 PM  
1 votes:

Great_Milenko: What about all our "visitors" from south of the border named Jesus?


weknowmemes.com
2012-12-30 11:43:24 AM  
1 votes:
Speaking of biblical names, there sure are many Nimrods on WND
2012-12-30 11:28:15 AM  
1 votes:
My girlfriend was out with our son when an older lady asked what his name was. he told her his name is Damien Michael. The lady then asked her why on earth we would name him that. Her response? "have you met his father?" And the lady just walked away.

/true story
//Yes that is his name
2012-12-30 11:18:48 AM  
1 votes:
imgs.xkcd.com

Obligitory
2012-12-30 09:41:55 AM  
1 votes:
7
2012-12-30 09:33:02 AM  
1 votes:
And that is why Yahweh will allow the Babylonians to lay sack to this land of wickedness which heeds not His word.
2012-12-30 08:58:53 AM  
1 votes:

drongozone: Cain


And if its a girl, name her Rydia.
2012-12-30 07:19:14 AM  
1 votes:
I am in a youth group as an adult leader

one of my young men is named Keaton

he is now going by Tyler at school because so many girls at his school are named Keaton
2012-12-30 07:01:24 AM  
1 votes:
Award winning journalist???
2012-12-30 06:57:37 AM  
1 votes:

GoldSpider: Rule #1: If her name is a place, she'll end up on the pole.


Unless that place is in the Rust Belt or other depressed part of the country.

Nobody uses Albany, Woonsocket, or Fresno as stripper names.
2012-12-30 06:35:45 AM  
1 votes:

Hawnkee: robohobo: I lived in Georgia for a short period a little over 10 years ago, and I still remember a black girl working the counter at a Taco Bell whose name was Kimchee. I mentioned how it was a Korean food and she refused to believe me. I lol'd.

Please tell me you tried to pay with a two dollar bill.


I did not. This one's a true story.
2012-12-30 06:32:55 AM  
1 votes:

GoldSpider: Gulper Eel: Fark should establish a name consultancy for misguided moms-to-be who think stripper names like Destinee will work just fine for their daughters. Seriously. We at Fark know the pornosity of every female name down to the sixth decimal point. Enid? Dowdy, but you may proceed. Claire? Very nice. Alexis? Erm...try again. Sapphira? OVER THE LINE. Check with us before you get that birth certificate filled out and you'll save yourself a world of trouble down the road.

Rule #1: If her name is a place, she'll end up on the pole.


The test is simple.

First, say the name in this context: "Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, _____"
Then, say the name in this context: "Gentlemennnnnn! Start your boners, because right now on the maiiiin staaaaage it's ________."
2012-12-30 06:27:41 AM  
1 votes:

robohobo: I lived in Georgia for a short period a little over 10 years ago, and I still remember a black girl working the counter at a Taco Bell whose name was Kimchee. I mentioned how it was a Korean food and she refused to believe me. I lol'd.


Please tell me you tried to pay with a two dollar bill.
2012-12-30 06:10:29 AM  
1 votes:
My last name is Knob.
I named my son Richard, but you can call him Dick!
2012-12-30 06:00:22 AM  
1 votes:

drjekel_mrhyde: //Back in the days ever black woman had either Anne or Mae for their middle name if they came from the south


Lee was a big one also
2012-12-30 05:47:14 AM  
1 votes:

Britney Spear's Speculum: I met a Unique Burger once. They were not black either


Utahn?
2012-12-30 05:26:35 AM  
1 votes:

Apos: flamingboar: These guys will be really pissed off if I name my son Lion-O or daughter Cheetara.

If you really want to cause head explosions, go with Mum-Ra.


That would be awesome. And I would give him a kitten named Snarf!
2012-12-30 05:21:23 AM  
1 votes:

Lionel Mandrake: I'll help reverse this trend.  I'm naming my kids Pilate and Nebuchadnezzar.


Why not Caligula?
2012-12-30 05:10:22 AM  
1 votes:

Pronoun: Smeggy Smurf: If you put 10 men in a room odds are 2 of them are named Dave. We're in good company even if we tend to stay out of the public eye

Go Daves.


Obligatory
2012-12-30 05:04:10 AM  
1 votes:
These guys will be really pissed off if I name my son Lion-O or daughter Cheetara.
2012-12-30 04:31:00 AM  
1 votes:
If we're going with religious names, I'm using Greek ones.

basemetal: Sorry, girls cant go dancing on the pole with names like Esther or Martha.

/no one tips those girls


You think those girls are all really called Roxy?
2012-12-30 04:22:28 AM  
1 votes:

Carotid: How about "Le-a" pronounced "Ledasha". I kid you not. Actual legal name.


Find the evidence. Someone posting it on FB doesn't mean its real.
2012-12-30 12:25:49 AM  
1 votes:
How about "Le-a" pronounced "Ledasha". I kid you not. Actual legal name.
2012-12-29 11:40:40 PM  
1 votes:
I think I'm having a stroke

/I meant LUCK
//WTF am I typing?
 
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