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(WorldNetDaily)   The problem with today's baby names isn't that they're being saddled with unfortunate things like Bella, Brayden, Jayden, Katniss, and Grayden, it's that they're not biblical names   (wnd.com) divider line 271
    More: Fail, baby names, Bibles  
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8748 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Dec 2012 at 4:19 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



271 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-12-29 11:31:21 PM  
Another BS war on christianity - oh noes folks aren't using biblical names anymore...

/ My son is named after a heathen god
// fark Christians
 
2012-12-29 11:39:37 PM  

Elzar: Another BS war on christianity - oh noes folks aren't using biblical names anymore...

/ My son is named after a heathen god
// fark Christians


And good look to little Cthulhu Elzar
 
2012-12-29 11:40:40 PM  
I think I'm having a stroke

/I meant LUCK
//WTF am I typing?
 
2012-12-29 11:41:38 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I think I'm having a stroke

/I meant LUCK
//WTF am I typing?


Was it a Scottish stroke?
 
2012-12-29 11:48:15 PM  

Shostie: MaudlinMutantMollusk: I think I'm having a stroke

/I meant LUCK
//WTF am I typing?

Was it a Scottish stroke?


Scotch, actually
 
2012-12-29 11:58:02 PM  
I love shiatbag articles like this where the passive-aggresive writer never makes a point. Are biblical names fading from popularity? Yes. And? Your point is, numbnuts?
 
2012-12-29 11:59:45 PM  
Is this an appropriate thread to post that "Help, we're being repressed!" pie chart?

/dnrtfa
 
2012-12-30 12:02:25 AM  
Sorry, girls cant go dancing on the pole with names like Esther or Martha.

/no one tips those girls
 
2012-12-30 12:03:03 AM  
Start the counter-trend: name your kid Zebulun or Hagar.
 
2012-12-30 12:03:52 AM  

Millennium: Start the counter-trend: name your kid Zebulun or Hagar.


Or names from a different bible.
 
2012-12-30 12:08:29 AM  
I have a biblical name and so does my boyfriend, but neither of us are Christians, so I don't think we count to the Wing Nut Daily crowd.
 
2012-12-30 12:09:26 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I love shiatbag articles like this where the passive-aggresive writer never makes a point. Are biblical names fading from popularity? Yes. And? Your point is, numbnuts?


Pretty sure Dec 21st came and went without incident and somehow World Nut needs to convince us that things are worser then ever and what is the world coming to? Repent and turn to Jeebus.
 
2012-12-30 12:25:49 AM  
How about "Le-a" pronounced "Ledasha". I kid you not. Actual legal name.
 
2012-12-30 12:28:01 AM  

Millennium: Start the counter-trend: name your kid Zebulun or Hagar.


what a horrible name.
 
2012-12-30 12:30:58 AM  
My sister was looking for baby names (twins and they decided not know gender so they have to pick out 8 names) and was joking about some of her least favorites, one of which was Shirtney. Now the twins have been nicknamed Shirtyney and Pantsney before birth.
 
2012-12-30 12:32:34 AM  

SilentStrider: Millennium: Start the counter-trend: name your kid Zebulun or Hagar.

what a horrible name.


If you really want to stick to Biblical tradition, it's actually feminine.

/but yes, I do in fact see what you did there
 
2012-12-30 12:39:20 AM  
o.onionstatic.com

/oblig
 
2012-12-30 12:58:28 AM  
I'll help reverse this trend.  I'm naming my kids Pilate and Nebuchadnezzar.
 
2012-12-30 01:12:07 AM  
Morever.

/Obscure, even with being Disney
 
2012-12-30 01:12:43 AM  
There really is a lack of good Christian Bible names like Ronald, Mitt, Newt and Rush today.
 
2012-12-30 01:13:09 AM  
Moreover

/Less obscure when it's spelled correctly
//still way too obscure, even with being Disney, and I'll bet nobody remembers it, and I've already gone to far, far too much effort for something so obscure.
 
NFA [TotalFark]
2012-12-30 01:16:16 AM  
I for one will be happy when the writers of the Wing Nut Daily are forcibly fitted with shock collars that can be activated via internet.  Then are forced to be on webcam 24/7.  With every stupid comment, every ridiculous conspiracy spew, the sane people of the world can give them the shock therapy they desperately need.
 
2012-12-30 01:30:19 AM  

Carotid: How about "Le-a" pronounced "Ledasha". I kid you not. Actual legal name.


That's my sister-in-law's name.

But she pronounces it "Lehyphena"
 
2012-12-30 01:43:22 AM  

Lionel Mandrake: Carotid: How about "Le-a" pronounced "Ledasha". I kid you not. Actual legal name.

That's my sister-in-law's name.

But she pronounces it "Lehyphena"


*snert*
 
2012-12-30 01:45:52 AM  
Oddly enough, my mixed blood tochis has HUGE Biblical connotations. An Archangel and a fairly important Biblical king. Then it gets mucked up with the Ellis Island mistake of transforming our German name into something vaguely Dutch or oddly transliteral in English. Not a big deal. My mother is Japanese, but somehow the genetics worked out to me only coming out only a bit Nihonjin looking, so maybe it's a good thing that I wasn't saddled with an Archangel's name, and then Toshiro or Hironori.

Rather than look for cool sounding names for our daughter, my then wife and I decided that we wanted to name our girl after people we care about. Thus she got named for my wife's best friend, my Aunt who raised me and is as close to a mother as I have, and my then wife's grandmother, who we were afraid wasn't going to live to see our girl, and we wanted her to know that she had a namesake, and maybe it worked, because the gal pulled through to see her namesake. It does mean that our daughter hates us around standardized testing time, because she NEVER has enough room to write out her full name. When she was a baby, we joked that her name was longer than she was. And it kind of is, but it is chock full of meaning. If the girl critter and I have a son, then he will be named after folks who are important to us again. As a namesake. As a way of remembrance and honoring those folks.

That my daughter's name has some Biblical elements isn't because we honor the People of the Book--neither of us are Christian. I'm a Buddhist, and my ex wife is a pagan. OK, she's sort of Newage--and yes, that's pronounced like it rhymes with "sewage" but her's is a mix and match sort of thing, and it's sort of hard to respect a faith tradition that picks and chooses what elements it will follow like a pu pu platter. It wound up that way, because the people we were closest to had fairly common names, and their folks chose some good sized Christian ones.

We chose to honor the folks who are closest to us. The girlcritter likes the idea, and I'm glad that she's on board, because it made the process of naming my daughter fairly easy. It isn't the path that everyone takes. I know that some folks want cool names. Something that sets their kids from the others. I hold less with that, because I think names help root us. Names have power, and if your name is ripped from fiction, and not even terribly established fiction, it sort of drains that power away. It lacks a certain...anchoring in the culture. It shows a kid that his or her folks were moved by a fad, and that is maybe a lesson can go down hard. But that's my take on it, and they're not my kids, and it's not my decision. I don't hold with it, I don't agree with it, but it's not my place to judge--well, maybe a little, but it has less to do about the child than the parents, and I WILL judge the f*ck out of other parents around my wee girl. And I can see folks who will judge others for what they name their kids. I can understand it, if it is sort of this faddish sort of thing. Mind you, it is sort of sad, that Christians forget Matthew 7:1, but it is understandable.

But it's none of my business, and while internally I may roll my eyes, if someone introduces their baby Katniss to me, I'm going to answer the phone when the bairn hands me their plastic phone and get to know the kid. Kids can't help what we name them, so maybe it's a good idea to make that name means something, but it's not my business if they decide to do so with a fad, because we all have our idiosyncrasies. It's, at best, a venial sin against good taste.
 
2012-12-30 02:30:59 AM  
We should be giving kids good biblical names like Herod or Pontius Pilate.
 
2012-12-30 02:31:15 AM  
Is that so? Then I presume the WND acolytes have terrific things to say Adam Lanza, James Holmes and John Hinkley. Right? Right?

/Imbecilic rationale
 
2012-12-30 02:32:47 AM  

Apos: Is that so? Then I presume the WND acolytes have terrific things to say about Adam Lanza, James Holmes and John Hinkley. Right? Right?

/Imbecilic rationale

 
2012-12-30 02:35:54 AM  

NFA: I for one will be happy when the writers of the Wing Nut Daily are forcibly fitted with shock collars that can be activated via internet.  Then are forced to be on webcam 24/7.  With every stupid comment, every ridiculous conspiracy spew, the sane people of the world can give them the shock therapy they desperately need.


That would require sane people to actually read what they write.
 
2012-12-30 02:42:57 AM  

Millennium: Start the counter-trend: name your kid Zebulun or Hagar.


Hagar? That's a horrible name.
 
2012-12-30 03:29:17 AM  
I think I should take a bit of a Gospel and put it in the proper English forms of the names and send it to the author, I figure the first time he sees Joshua instead of Jesus his head would asplode.
 
2012-12-30 03:31:10 AM  

Millennium: Start the counter-trend: name your kid Zebulun or Hagar.


I went with Kang and Kodos. But that's just me.

/doesn't actually have kids
 
2012-12-30 04:20:23 AM  
Jesus Christ!
 
2012-12-30 04:22:28 AM  

Carotid: How about "Le-a" pronounced "Ledasha". I kid you not. Actual legal name.


Find the evidence. Someone posting it on FB doesn't mean its real.
 
2012-12-30 04:25:17 AM  
If you put 10 men in a room odds are 2 of them are named Dave. We're in good company even if we tend to stay out of the public eye
 
2012-12-30 04:27:27 AM  
I'm not a Christian, but Abraham is way the fark cooler than Gaydenhomosex.
 
2012-12-30 04:28:39 AM  
I'm naming my kids Cain and Abel. What could possibly go wrong?
 
2012-12-30 04:31:00 AM  
If we're going with religious names, I'm using Greek ones.

basemetal: Sorry, girls cant go dancing on the pole with names like Esther or Martha.

/no one tips those girls


You think those girls are all really called Roxy?
 
2012-12-30 04:35:42 AM  
CONFORM!
 
2012-12-30 04:36:27 AM  
My name is biblical and my husband is named for an archangel. Turns out my son's name is biblical and I had no idea, he's just named after his great grandfather. Hell, I want to name our next hypothetical son that will probably never happen Samael, not because he's the angel of death, but because a guy by that name has always been very kind to me. Turns out my culture swerves towards biblical names. Others don't. There's nothing wrong with either.
 
2012-12-30 04:39:42 AM  
Cain
 
2012-12-30 04:39:55 AM  
Nimrod.
 
2012-12-30 04:40:52 AM  

moothemagiccow: If we're going with religious names, I'm using Greek ones.

basemetal: Sorry, girls cant go dancing on the pole with names like Esther or Martha.

/no one tips those girls

You think those girls are all really called Roxy?


It's still real to me, dammit!
 
2012-12-30 04:43:22 AM  
God.
 
2012-12-30 04:46:05 AM  

Smeggy Smurf: If you put 10 men in a room odds are 2 of them are named Dave. We're in good company even if we tend to stay out of the public eye


Go Daves.
 
2012-12-30 04:46:20 AM  
Judas, Cain, Amram, Jockabed, Lucifer, Pat, Robertson, Jerry, Fallwell...
 
2012-12-30 04:46:23 AM  
Even World Nut Daily has a slow news day.
 
2012-12-30 04:46:48 AM  
Rather than use pretend names from a book of stories we decided to honor some real people. Our moms are Tina and Mary, so we put them together and got Martina. Lovely name.
 
2012-12-30 04:47:11 AM  
I want to call my kids: Nephilim; Methuselah; Ezekiel and Mohammered.

Mohammered I'll name my adopted baby. It'll be interesting to see how he does with that name in life.
 
2012-12-30 04:47:36 AM  
As long as you don't name your kid something that's an English, and preferably go for something that's recognizably a name and not something else, I don't care. Zyzyzyx is fine, I can pretty much tell that's a name and not something else so whatever. Same with David or Jeremiah or Antwaine.

Archaisms and really obscure English words are a bit of a grey area, I haven't yet decided on whether to assume the parents of anyone named Katniss are necessarily idiots, for instance. But I do feel I can validly make that assumption about anyone with a daughter named Summer, for sure.
 
2012-12-30 04:51:37 AM  
I was accused of naming my kid after the mail character from A Clockwork Orange.
 
2012-12-30 04:53:08 AM  
Did you catch the quiz at the end asking readers why this trend is taking place?

Two multiple choice selections:

"Native-born Americans have fewer children than some immigrant groups -- I suspect that's skewing the results"

Because you've never heard of a guy from Mexico named Jésus.

"Americans have become biblically illiterate and don't even know the names of characters found in Scripture"

Freudian slip?

/I'm gonna name my kid God to make them happy. He's one of the best-known characters from the Bible afterall.
 
2012-12-30 04:53:47 AM  
Akk main character that is...
 
2012-12-30 04:53:53 AM  
You think those girls are all really called Roxy?

It's still real to me, dammit!


Next thing you'll be telling us that those strippers aren't really working to pay for med school!

/The world needs another Savannah like Savannah needs another hole in her head
 
2012-12-30 04:56:26 AM  
Yawhay Jones (misspelling oblig)
 
2012-12-30 04:59:14 AM  
I'll take these people's complaints seriously when they start naming their boys Methuselah and their girls Zipporah. Until then, you're not Biblical enough, asshats.
 
2012-12-30 05:04:10 AM  
These guys will be really pissed off if I name my son Lion-O or daughter Cheetara.
 
2012-12-30 05:05:42 AM  

Jim_Callahan: As long as you don't name your kid something that's an English, and preferably go for something that's recognizably a name and not something else, I don't care. Zyzyzyx is fine, I can pretty much tell that's a name and not something else so whatever.


I don't get this. Names mean something in their original language. What's the big deal if someone's called Stone instead of Pierre? Why do our names need semi-secret meanings?

Grace
Violet
Prudence
Dale
Heather
Joy
Brook
 
2012-12-30 05:07:15 AM  

flamingboar: These guys will be really pissed off if I name my son Lion-O or daughter Cheetara.


they'll probably just assume they're black

/sorry if you're black
///not sorry that you're black
////you know
//nothing wrong with being black
//they're racist I'm saying
//name racist
//goddammit
 
2012-12-30 05:08:32 AM  

flamingboar: These guys will be really pissed off if I name my son Lion-O or daughter Cheetara.


If you really want to cause head explosions, go with Mum-Ra.
 
2012-12-30 05:09:06 AM  
1. Aiden
2. Jackson
3. Ethan
4. Liam
5. Mason
6. Noah
7. Lucas
8. Jacob
9. Jayden
10. Jack

Good to see Jack making a comeback. If this was a horse race, I know who I'd bet on.
 
2012-12-30 05:10:22 AM  

Pronoun: Smeggy Smurf: If you put 10 men in a room odds are 2 of them are named Dave. We're in good company even if we tend to stay out of the public eye

Go Daves.


Obligatory
 
2012-12-30 05:11:06 AM  
I'm kind of surprised that my name, Philip, is so unpopular nowadays. It was 68th place in 1979 when I was born, but it's down to 378th in 2011. Good biblical name and all.
 
2012-12-30 05:11:31 AM  

Millennium: Start the counter-trend: name your kid Zebulun or Hagar.


Good point, if we had only named more kids Zebulun or better yet Zebulon maybe we'd have flying cars by now.
 
2012-12-30 05:13:14 AM  

moothemagiccow: flamingboar: These guys will be really pissed off if I name my son Lion-O or daughter Cheetara.

they'll probably just assume they're black

/sorry if you're black
///not sorry that you're black
////you know
//nothing wrong with being black
//they're racist I'm saying
//name racist
//goddammit


The strange part is, when my black friends come over, they want to watch my Thunder Cats DVDs.

/white guy
//reboot Cheetara is hawt
 
2012-12-30 05:14:35 AM  

pjc51: I'm kind of surprised that my name, Philip, is so unpopular nowadays. It was 68th place in 1979 when I was born, but it's down to 378th in 2011. Good biblical name and all.


between then and now, this happened

theseconddisc.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-12-30 05:17:50 AM  
malialitman.files.wordpress.com

"Oh, Twitter is going to hear about this!"
 
2012-12-30 05:19:15 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I love shiatbag articles like this where the passive-aggresive writer never makes a point. Are biblical names fading from popularity? Yes. And? Your point is, numbnuts?


Eh. Just a "solution" looking for a problem to get worked up over.
 
2012-12-30 05:21:23 AM  

Lionel Mandrake: I'll help reverse this trend.  I'm naming my kids Pilate and Nebuchadnezzar.


Why not Caligula?
 
2012-12-30 05:26:35 AM  

Apos: flamingboar: These guys will be really pissed off if I name my son Lion-O or daughter Cheetara.

If you really want to cause head explosions, go with Mum-Ra.


That would be awesome. And I would give him a kitten named Snarf!
 
2012-12-30 05:26:40 AM  
So, when did black people start giving their children such ridiculous names? Really, I'm curious. When did the random apostrophe/name out of thin air thing start happening?
 
2012-12-30 05:29:12 AM  
I am so going to name my kid Satan. You can't say it's not a biblical name, can you?
 
2012-12-30 05:29:18 AM  
I met a Unique Burger once. They were not black either
 
2012-12-30 05:31:13 AM  

robohobo: So, when did black people start giving their children such ridiculous names? Really, I'm curious. When did the random apostrophe/name out of thin air thing start happening?



Not an expert but I think it dates back to 1960s with the whole "dump your slave names, find your african roots" thingy.
http://www.salon.com/2008/08/25/creative_black_names/
 
2012-12-30 05:35:48 AM  
My name is Matthew. I am a athiest and a bit of a boozer, so who the hell knows.

I am also getting a kick out these responses.
 
2012-12-30 05:35:50 AM  

Carotid: How about "Le-a" pronounced "Ledasha". I kid you not. Actual legal name.


Why do people propagate stupid urban legends when honest-to-God real names like Dayzunique are infinitely worse?
 
2012-12-30 05:40:45 AM  

Jim_Callahan: I haven't yet decided on whether to assume the parents of anyone named Katniss are necessarily idiots


It'd be a great cat name.
 
2012-12-30 05:42:26 AM  

Carotid: How about "Le-a" pronounced "Ledasha". I kid you not. Actual legal name bullshiat urban legend.


FTFY

I've heard too many different variations of the story ("Girl at my nephew's school", "girl at my coworker's babysitter's son's community pool" etc.) to believe this is anything more than fabricated thinly veiled racism.
 
2012-12-30 05:43:42 AM  

robohobo: So, when did black people start giving their children such ridiculous names? Really, I'm curious. When did the random apostrophe/name out of thin air thing start happening?


This guy says 60s. Nothing about apostrophes.
 
2012-12-30 05:46:21 AM  

Elzar: Another BS war on christianity - oh noes folks aren't using biblical names anymore


Looking at the article, I get the impression that it's more about kids being given biblical names by their parents becoming less popular that about some idiot alarmist crying "war on Christianity"

Me, I was raised a Christian, my birth name includes Benjamin and James and I'm not at all bothered by the idea of Biblical names being less common these days. Some might say it's a reflection of Christianity becoming less common in our modern society, I think it's just a coincidence.
 
2012-12-30 05:46:58 AM  

Cheese eating surrender monkey: robohobo: So, when did black people start giving their children such ridiculous names? Really, I'm curious. When did the random apostrophe/name out of thin air thing start happening?


Not an expert but I think it dates back to 1960s with the whole "dump your slave names, find your african roots" thingy.
http://www.salon.com/2008/08/25/creative_black_names/


Thanks, was a good read.

/lol, firefox gives the red squigglies if you don't capitalize african
 
2012-12-30 05:47:14 AM  

Britney Spear's Speculum: I met a Unique Burger once. They were not black either


Utahn?
 
2012-12-30 05:52:20 AM  
My next child will be named Biggus Dickus.

/even if its a boy
 
2012-12-30 05:55:45 AM  

robohobo: So, when did black people start giving their children such ridiculous names? Really, I'm curious. When did the random apostrophe/name out of thin air thing start happening?


I think it's the younger American black females that come up with that shiat. My name is Adrian my daughter's mother name is Joanna, so it was made sense to name our daughter Arianna. Now I do have one dipshiat cousin name her kids TaShawn and Za-kia
/My daughter's mother is from St. Thomas BTW
//Back in the days ever black woman had either Anne or Mae for their middle name if they came from the south
 
2012-12-30 05:57:33 AM  
I've been flipping through the Bible and I just don't see the names Tagg, Track, Trig or Ronald-Ann *anywhere*
 
2012-12-30 06:00:22 AM  

drjekel_mrhyde: //Back in the days ever black woman had either Anne or Mae for their middle name if they came from the south


Lee was a big one also
 
2012-12-30 06:02:31 AM  
Bella is okay... as a nickname for Isabella.


Snapper Carr: Carotid: How about "Le-a" pronounced "Ledasha". I kid you not. Actual legal name bullshiat urban legend.

FTFY

I've heard too many different variations of the story ("Girl at my nephew's school", "girl at my coworker's babysitter's son's community pool" etc.) to believe this is anything more than fabricated thinly veiled racism.



ilikeracecars: Carotid: How about "Le-a" pronounced "Ledasha". I kid you not. Actual legal name.

Find the evidence. Someone posting it on FB doesn't mean its real.



That one is so well-known to be an urban legend that it's kind of a running joke -- people post it in every Fark thread on this subject. (Although perhaps some who post it are trolling, curious to see if such a worn story can still get either credulous or outraged replies.) Either way, it's likely the poster wasn't serious. (Whatever the motivation, it's still irresponsible to post it, I'll grant you.)
 
2012-12-30 06:05:40 AM  
My cousins' sons - Eli, Sam, Josh, Jonah, and Zeev - beg to differ. The girls don't have biblical first names but were all given Hebrew names, as per Jewish tradition.
 
2012-12-30 06:06:26 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I've been flipping through the Bible and I just don't see the names Tagg, Track, Trig or Ronald-Ann *anywhere*


You're not looking in the right book. Those names all come from the Book of Reagan.
 
2012-12-30 06:08:00 AM  
I know someone born in 11/63 named Rotunda.
Looks like her name now too.
or how about Satania? There's a good stripper name for you. they're both black--why do black folks name their kids such wild ass names?
 
2012-12-30 06:08:06 AM  

Draken_26301: I was accused of naming my kid after the mail character from A Clockwork Orange.


i50.tinypic.com
 
2012-12-30 06:08:41 AM  
Well Muhammad is still a popular name in the world. I think I remember reading that it's the most widely used name ever. But hey Islam doesn't count right!
 
2012-12-30 06:10:11 AM  

Jim_Callahan: Archaisms and really obscure English words are a bit of a grey area, I haven't yet decided on whether to assume the parents of anyone named Katniss are necessarily idiots, for instance. But I do feel I can validly make that assumption about anyone with a daughter named Summer, for sure.


At least Katniss is an actual plant name, so it fits right in with Daisy, Lily, Rose, Heather, etc. Aside from the obvious movie tie-in, there's nothing especially bad about it.
 
2012-12-30 06:10:29 AM  
My last name is Knob.
I named my son Richard, but you can call him Dick!
 
2012-12-30 06:18:03 AM  
I lived in Georgia for a short period a little over 10 years ago, and I still remember a black girl working the counter at a Taco Bell whose name was Kimchee. I mentioned how it was a Korean food and she refused to believe me. I lol'd.
 
2012-12-30 06:22:49 AM  

robohobo: So, when did black people start giving their children such ridiculous names? Really, I'm curious. When did the random apostrophe/name out of thin air thing start happening?


At about the same time white folks started in with the alternate spellings of Caitlin for their daughters.

Somewhere in the suburbs there's a Katelynne bringing home an An'twa'an to meet her parents...who had better not biatch one damn bit about how tough it is to spell that guy's name.

Fark should establish a name consultancy for misguided moms-to-be who think stripper names like Destinee will work just fine for their daughters. Seriously. We at Fark know the pornosity of every female name down to the sixth decimal point. Enid? Dowdy, but you may proceed. Claire? Very nice. Alexis? Erm...try again. Sapphira? OVER THE LINE. Check with us before you get that birth certificate filled out and you'll save yourself a world of trouble down the road.
 
2012-12-30 06:24:01 AM  

Fluorescent Testicle: Carotid: How about "Le-a" pronounced "Ledasha". I kid you not. Actual legal name.

Why do people propagate stupid urban legends when honest-to-God real names like Dayzunique are infinitely worse?


Saw a woman that had been saddled with the name "Queentasia". Oddly enough, she was on "The People's Court".
 
2012-12-30 06:25:00 AM  

Gulper Eel: Fark should establish a name consultancy for misguided moms-to-be who think stripper names like Destinee will work just fine for their daughters. Seriously. We at Fark know the pornosity of every female name down to the sixth decimal point. Enid? Dowdy, but you may proceed. Claire? Very nice. Alexis? Erm...try again. Sapphira? OVER THE LINE. Check with us before you get that birth certificate filled out and you'll save yourself a world of trouble down the road.


Rule #1: If her name is a place, she'll end up on the pole.
 
2012-12-30 06:27:41 AM  

robohobo: I lived in Georgia for a short period a little over 10 years ago, and I still remember a black girl working the counter at a Taco Bell whose name was Kimchee. I mentioned how it was a Korean food and she refused to believe me. I lol'd.


Please tell me you tried to pay with a two dollar bill.
 
2012-12-30 06:30:53 AM  

Gulper Eel: Fark should establish a name consultancy for misguided moms-to-be who think stripper names like Destinee will work just fine for their daughters. Seriously. We at Fark know the pornosity of every female name down to the sixth decimal point. Enid? Dowdy, but you may proceed. Claire? Very nice. Alexis? Erm...try again. Sapphira? OVER THE LINE. Check with us before you get that birth certificate filled out and you'll save yourself a world of trouble down the road.


All the porn models are called Natasha anyway

//hooray human trafficking
 
2012-12-30 06:32:55 AM  

GoldSpider: Gulper Eel: Fark should establish a name consultancy for misguided moms-to-be who think stripper names like Destinee will work just fine for their daughters. Seriously. We at Fark know the pornosity of every female name down to the sixth decimal point. Enid? Dowdy, but you may proceed. Claire? Very nice. Alexis? Erm...try again. Sapphira? OVER THE LINE. Check with us before you get that birth certificate filled out and you'll save yourself a world of trouble down the road.

Rule #1: If her name is a place, she'll end up on the pole.


The test is simple.

First, say the name in this context: "Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, _____"
Then, say the name in this context: "Gentlemennnnnn! Start your boners, because right now on the maiiiin staaaaage it's ________."
 
2012-12-30 06:33:08 AM  
Joe Kovacs is an award-winning journalist...

I doubt anyone would award him the time of day.
 
2012-12-30 06:34:09 AM  

Gulper Eel: robohobo: So, when did black people start giving their children such ridiculous names? Really, I'm curious. When did the random apostrophe/name out of thin air thing start happening?

At about the same time white folks started in with the alternate spellings of Caitlin for their daughters.

Somewhere in the suburbs there's a Katelynne bringing home an An'twa'an to meet her parents...who had better not biatch one damn bit about how tough it is to spell that guy's name.

Fark should establish a name consultancy for misguided moms-to-be who think stripper names like Destinee will work just fine for their daughters. Seriously. We at Fark know the pornosity of every female name down to the sixth decimal point. Enid? Dowdy, but you may proceed. Claire? Very nice. Alexis? Erm...try again. Sapphira? OVER THE LINE. Check with us before you get that birth certificate filled out and you'll save yourself a world of trouble down the road.


I'd be thrilled to serve on the Stripper Name Committee.
 
2012-12-30 06:35:45 AM  

Hawnkee: robohobo: I lived in Georgia for a short period a little over 10 years ago, and I still remember a black girl working the counter at a Taco Bell whose name was Kimchee. I mentioned how it was a Korean food and she refused to believe me. I lol'd.

Please tell me you tried to pay with a two dollar bill.


I did not. This one's a true story.
 
2012-12-30 06:37:44 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: GoldSpider: Gulper Eel: Fark should establish a name consultancy for misguided moms-to-be who think stripper names like Destinee will work just fine for their daughters. Seriously. We at Fark know the pornosity of every female name down to the sixth decimal point. Enid? Dowdy, but you may proceed. Claire? Very nice. Alexis? Erm...try again. Sapphira? OVER THE LINE. Check with us before you get that birth certificate filled out and you'll save yourself a world of trouble down the road.

Rule #1: If her name is a place, she'll end up on the pole.

The test is simple.

First, say the name in this context: "Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, _____"
Then, say the name in this context: "Gentlemennnnnn! Start your boners, because right now on the maiiiin staaaaage it's ________."


Yeah, because a woman is going to be named Chief Justice of the Supreme Court in any of our lifetimes. Unless John Roberts unexpectedly dies, he's going to resign under a GOP president (probably when I'm in my 50's). And unless Hell freezes over, that president will pick a WASP male to replace him.
 
2012-12-30 06:41:59 AM  

robohobo: Hawnkee: robohobo: I lived in Georgia for a short period a little over 10 years ago, and I still remember a black girl working the counter at a Taco Bell whose name was Kimchee. I mentioned how it was a Korean food and she refused to believe me. I lol'd.

Please tell me you tried to pay with a two dollar bill.

I did not. This one's a true story.


Ah well, at least got a good chortle out of the story.
 
2012-12-30 06:47:40 AM  

Millennium: Start the counter-trend: name your kid Zebulun or Hagar.


Nimrod.
 
2012-12-30 06:57:37 AM  

GoldSpider: Rule #1: If her name is a place, she'll end up on the pole.


Unless that place is in the Rust Belt or other depressed part of the country.

Nobody uses Albany, Woonsocket, or Fresno as stripper names.
 
2012-12-30 07:01:24 AM  
Award winning journalist???
 
2012-12-30 07:06:26 AM  
The trend I hate lately are what I call "job" names.

Fisher
Hunter
Walker
Rider
Parker
etc.

It's like the parents are expecting what the kid is going to be doing all his/her life.
 
2012-12-30 07:12:50 AM  
Where in the Bible does it say you're limited to using only names in it?

That part must have been ripped out of my copy because I'be never found it.
 
2012-12-30 07:16:21 AM  
To be really fair, nobody on the playground would fark with a kid named Ezekiel. Give said child a Samuel L. Jackson plushie to keep them company in their crib.

I'm not biblicly named, but there's a couple kings of Prussia so that's cool.
 
2012-12-30 07:19:14 AM  
I am in a youth group as an adult leader

one of my young men is named Keaton

he is now going by Tyler at school because so many girls at his school are named Keaton
 
2012-12-30 07:42:44 AM  
In 2012, there were eight girls' names based on biblical characters in the top 100: Chloe, Abigail, Hannah, Sarah, Anna, Elizabeth, Leah, and Julia. It's nine if one includes Maria, the Spanish name for Mary.

Quite right of WND to question the inclusion of Maria. Indeed, is it truly Biblical if it isn't from the original English?
 
2012-12-30 07:47:57 AM  
Weird. I was at a family function last night where there were small children named Moses and Samuel.
Difficulty: Not Jewish.
 
2012-12-30 07:48:21 AM  
It looks like there are all kinds of great underutilized proper names in the Bible. People just need to do a little research. Just browsing the 'A's:

Abaddon, the destroyer,[11] See APOLLYON (a destroyer),[12] The angel of the bottomless pit (Revelation 9:11)[13]
Abagtha, father of the wine-press,[14] A Persian chamberlain,[15] God-given; one of the seven eunuchs in the Persian court of Ahasuerus in charge of the wine.[16]
Aceldama, field of blood[132][133]
Achaia, grief; trouble[136][137]
Achan, or Achar, he that troubles, troubler,[140] valley of trouble[141]
Achbor, a rat; bruising[144][145]
Achmetha, brother of death[150][151]
Achor, trouble[152][153]
Achshaph, poison; tricks[156][157]
Achzib, liar; lying; one that runs[158][159]
Adamah, red earth; of blood[171][172]
Addin, adorned; delicious; voluptuous[181][182]
Admatha, a cloud of death; a mortal vapor[195][196]
Adna, pleasure; delight[197][198]
Adoni-bezek, (or Adonibezek) the lightning of the Lord; the Lord of lightning[201][202]
Adramyttium, the court of death[217][218]
Adummim, earthy; red; bloody things[223][224]
Agrippa, one who causes great pain at his birth,[237] king[238] hero-like[239]
Ahian, brother of wine[264][265]
Ahikam, a brother who raises up or avenges[272][273]
Ahimoth, brother of death[282][283]
Ahithophel, brother of ruin or folly[300][301]
Aiah, vulture, raven; an isle; alas, where is it?[326][327]
Akrabbim, scorpions[338][339]
Alammelech, God is king[340][341]
Amalek, a people that licks up[367][368]
Aminadab, my people is liberal[387][388]
Amorite, bitter; a rebel; a babbler[413][414]
Apollonia, perdition, destruction[493][494]
Apollonius (disambiguation), destroying[495][496]
Apollos, one who destroys; destroyer[497][498]
Apollyon, a destroyer,[499][500][501] Angel of the bottomless pit[502]
Arad, a wild ass; a dragon[517][518]
Asenath, peril; misfortune[588][589]
Ashima, crime; offense[600][601]
Ashkenaz, a fire that spreads[602][603]
Atad, a thorn[635][636]
Avim, wicked or perverse men[663][664]
Avith, wicked, perverse[665][666]
Azazel, the scape-goat[675][676]
Azmaveth, strong death; a he-goat[683][684]
 
2012-12-30 07:51:11 AM  
I think it would be maddening if my name were Michael, David, John, etc. Hell, those 3 names alone probably cover about 40%+ of the names of the male population.


Brayden, Aiden, Jayden, etc.: these are all the same stupid farking name and sounds like someone is trying way too hard to be fancy, but coming off as unoriginal.
 
2012-12-30 07:53:38 AM  

basemetal: Sorry, girls cant go dancing on the pole with names like Esther or Martha.

/no one tips those girls


Thank goodness the uniforms don't require name tags...keep tippin!
 
2012-12-30 08:04:49 AM  
I'd like to see Throckmorton come back, personally.
 
2012-12-30 08:10:46 AM  
In 2043, we'll all be named "Jesus".
 
2012-12-30 08:12:59 AM  
Least we won't all be called Mohammed or Maria
 
2012-12-30 08:16:00 AM  
Once biblical names are the norm, these mass shootings will stop.
 
2012-12-30 08:29:42 AM  
Why not names right out of Middle-Earth? Lord of the Rings is a bigger piece of fiction than the Bible, and Thorin Okenshield is a much cooler name than David.
 
2012-12-30 08:30:01 AM  
WND outraged that there aren't enough kids called Judas or Barabbas.
 
2012-12-30 08:30:25 AM  
Is Navaeh considered biblical?

My daughter got a long middle name so she would know when she was really in trouble.
 
2012-12-30 08:33:30 AM  
In 2009, the top baby names were Jacob and Isabella, two Biblically-based names. Christians decried that, too, because most people naming their babies that were doing it because of the heathen anti-god stories of Stephenie Meyer.
 
2012-12-30 08:40:56 AM  
Oh look, another butt hurt religious person saying there's a problem with how people do their own thing and instead of all them following three exact same way

/still would not name my kid apple
//or Moon unit
 
2012-12-30 08:47:27 AM  

Elzar: Another BS war on christianity - oh noes folks aren't using biblical names anymore...

/ My son is named after a heathen god
// fark Christians


Jesus?
 
2012-12-30 08:49:29 AM  

Enitria: Rather than use pretend names from a book of stories we decided to honor some real people. Our moms are Tina and Mary, so we put them together and got Martina. Lovely name.


Much better than Tinary.
 
2012-12-30 08:53:12 AM  
I've also noticed that boys are hardly ever named Adolph anymore. That used to be quite a popular name back in the 1920's.
 
2012-12-30 08:55:27 AM  
I cannot believe this has not yet been posted

Bob
www.subgenius.com

That is all.
 
2012-12-30 08:57:03 AM  
Biblical names always remind me of Children of the Corn.
 
2012-12-30 08:57:09 AM  
please oh please fark, please skew that silly poll at the end. this could use some more votes:


"The Bible is filled with hate and violence -- who wants to use a book like that to pick a name for a child? (2%, 2 Votes)"
 
2012-12-30 08:58:53 AM  

drongozone: Cain


And if its a girl, name her Rydia.
 
2012-12-30 08:58:56 AM  

fzumrk: Amalek, a people that licks up



Wut?
 
2012-12-30 08:59:58 AM  

hlehmann: I've also noticed that boys are hardly ever named Adolph anymore. That used to be quite a popular name back in the 1920's.


"Heinrich" and "Leni" have also fallen out of favor, especially since the '40s. I can't imagine why.
 
2012-12-30 09:00:25 AM  

clipperbox: please oh please fark, please skew that silly poll at the end. this could use some more votes:


"The Bible is filled with hate and violence -- who wants to use a book like that to pick a name for a child? (2%, 2 Votes)"


and done
 
2012-12-30 09:00:50 AM  

drjekel_mrhyde: robohobo: So, when did black people start giving their children such ridiculous names? Really, I'm curious. When did the random apostrophe/name out of thin air thing start happening?

I think it's the younger American black females that come up with that shiat. My name is Adrian my daughter's mother name is Joanna, so it was made sense to name our daughter Arianna. Now I do have one dipshiat cousin name her kids TaShawn and Za-kia
/My daughter's mother is from St. Thomas BTW
//Back in the days ever black woman had either Anne or Mae for their middle name if they came from the south


It was after the black power movement. All the crazy concatnated names came to be then. If anyone has Netflix, Freakonomics talks about this very thing. It's pretty interesting and comical.

Interesting note...they found people with those crazy names looked for jobs on average 15 days longer than "normal" sounding names. Due to call backs and what not. They also discovered over 200 versions of the name "unique".
 
2012-12-30 09:04:45 AM  

Millennium: Start the counter-trend: name your kid Zebulun or Hagar. ROTH

 
2012-12-30 09:05:31 AM  
See Julia Roberts: Phinneus and Mabel.

My name, translated, is "savage". I dig that.
 
2012-12-30 09:05:31 AM  
If I ever have kids, I'm naming them Lemonjello and Oranjello.
 
2012-12-30 09:06:58 AM  
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool.
 
2012-12-30 09:16:01 AM  
whatever happened to those awesome "open the bible randomly and name the kid that" names. You don't see too many "Fly-fornications" and "For-Esau-was-a-hairy-man"s these days.
 
2012-12-30 09:17:40 AM  

clipperbox: please oh please fark, please skew that silly poll at the end. this could use some more votes:

"The Bible is filled with hate and violence -- who wants to use a book like that to pick a name for a child? (2%, 2 Votes)"


Did my part.
 
2012-12-30 09:24:23 AM  
 
2012-12-30 09:25:08 AM  

justinsmith354: drjekel_mrhyde: robohobo: So, when did black people start giving their children such ridiculous names? Really, I'm curious. When did the random apostrophe/name out of thin air thing start happening?

I think it's the younger American black females that come up with that shiat. My name is Adrian my daughter's mother name is Joanna, so it was made sense to name our daughter Arianna. Now I do have one dipshiat cousin name her kids TaShawn and Za-kia
/My daughter's mother is from St. Thomas BTW
//Back in the days ever black woman had either Anne or Mae for their middle name if they came from the south

It was after the black power movement. All the crazy concatnated names came to be then. If anyone has Netflix, Freakonomics talks about this very thing. It's pretty interesting and comical.

Interesting note...they found people with those crazy names looked for jobs on average 15 days longer than "normal" sounding names. Due to call backs and what not. They also discovered over 200 versions of the name "unique".


I've been sorting through resumes for the last couple of weeks and it is a good thing I am not racist because it would be so easy to set people apart based on their names. I do wonder how much that goes on, though.
 
2012-12-30 09:27:13 AM  
What's funny, if I had a girl I was thinking of Lillith or Morrigan...
 
2012-12-30 09:28:29 AM  
media-cache0.pinterest.com
/hot
 
2012-12-30 09:31:57 AM  
I have an Old Testament name, but It wasn't inspired directly from the Bible. Pros are that everyone can pronounce it, it's uncommon but not so much that it's weird, and this particular OT character was pretty badass. Con is, everyone assumes I'm Jewish.
 
2012-12-30 09:32:51 AM  
Girl where I work is named Shiathead. It's pronounced Shateed, but it ain't spelled that way
 
2012-12-30 09:33:02 AM  
And that is why Yahweh will allow the Babylonians to lay sack to this land of wickedness which heeds not His word.
 
2012-12-30 09:33:44 AM  

foo monkey: I have an Old Testament name, but It wasn't inspired directly from the Bible. Pros are that everyone can pronounce it, it's uncommon but not so much that it's weird, and this particular OT character was pretty badass. Con is, everyone assumes I'm Jewish.


Gideon?
 
2012-12-30 09:34:53 AM  

Rhino_man: The future of American baby names (Video)


Oh that is funny... reminds me of Monty Python

Link
 
2012-12-30 09:40:14 AM  
I presume the author wants more kids to have the Anglicized, King James Bible names, like Jacob, Joshua/Jesus, Isaac, John, and Joseph.

Because if a lot of kids were to be named Yakov, Yeshua, Yitzhak, Yochanan and Yosef I think the author would sound the alarm that the Jews and/or Islamofascists were taking over our American culture.
 
2012-12-30 09:41:55 AM  
7
 
2012-12-30 09:45:42 AM  
Those name they are speaking off are mostly derived from European translations of Hebrew, and other Middle Eastern languages of the time.

Head over to Israel and Palestine and you'll find more authentic Biblical names then what WND considers "Biblical".
 
2012-12-30 09:46:00 AM  
Seems the word "hang" is automoderated there, kind of disturbing yet not surprising.
 
2012-12-30 09:46:30 AM  
There is no "Saint Wendy."
washingtondc.showbizradio.com
 
2012-12-30 09:49:34 AM  
My kids have boring normal family names.
I dont know if my husbands name or mine come from the bible.

My other friends and family decided to give their kids...less traditional? names.

There's Paxton, Memphis, Hawke, MacKenna, and MacKayla.

I dont care what other people name their kids though.
 
2012-12-30 09:55:14 AM  
What about all our "visitors" from south of the border named Jesus?
 
2012-12-30 09:56:08 AM  

Millennium: Start the counter-trend: name your kid Zebulun or Hagar.


I was thinking Obadiah, myself. Can't go wrong with a name like that.
 
2012-12-30 09:56:38 AM  
Bible, bible, bible. And bible's ass.

Fark you people and your stinking bible. It means nothing to me and never will.
 
2012-12-30 10:03:32 AM  
Mike Hunt
 
2012-12-30 10:09:31 AM  

jmr61: Bible, bible, bible. And bible's ass.

Fark you people and your stinking bible. It means nothing to me and never will.


Were you diddled by a priest? Seriously, you have issues.
 
2012-12-30 10:13:10 AM  
My name appears nowhere in the Bible, but it's a good Anglo-Saxon name that goes back at least a millennium. Why don't the good White folks at WMD care about me?
 
2012-12-30 10:16:24 AM  
La-Sha

Pronounced Ladasha
 
2012-12-30 10:19:58 AM  

hubiestubert: Oddly enough, my mixed blood tochis has HUGE Biblical connotations. An Archangel and a fairly important Biblical king. Then it gets mucked up with the Ellis Island mistake of transforming our German name into something vaguely Dutch or oddly transliteral in English. Not a big deal. My mother is Japanese, but somehow the genetics worked out to me only coming out only a bit Nihonjin looking, so maybe it's a good thing that I wasn't saddled with an Archangel's name, and then Toshiro or Hironori.

Rather than look for cool sounding names for our daughter, my then wife and I decided that we wanted to name our girl after people we care about. Thus she got named for my wife's best friend, my Aunt who raised me and is as close to a mother as I have, and my then wife's grandmother, who we were afraid wasn't going to live to see our girl, and we wanted her to know that she had a namesake, and maybe it worked, because the gal pulled through to see her namesake. It does mean that our daughter hates us around standardized testing time, because she NEVER has enough room to write out her full name. When she was a baby, we joked that her name was longer than she was. And it kind of is, but it is chock full of meaning. If the girl critter and I have a son, then he will be named after folks who are important to us again. As a namesake. As a way of remembrance and honoring those folks.

That my daughter's name has some Biblical elements isn't because we honor the People of the Book--neither of us are Christian. I'm a Buddhist, and my ex wife is a pagan. OK, she's sort of Newage--and yes, that's pronounced like it rhymes with "sewage" but her's is a mix and match sort of thing, and it's sort of hard to respect a faith tradition that picks and chooses what elements it will follow like a pu pu platter. It wound up that way, because the people we were closest to had fairly common names, and their folks chose some good sized Christian ones.

We chose to honor the folks who are closest to us. The girlcritter likes the idea, and I'm glad that she's on board, because it made the process of naming my daughter fairly easy. It isn't the path that everyone takes. I know that some folks want cool names. Something that sets their kids from the others. I hold less with that, because I think names help root us. Names have power, and if your name is ripped from fiction, and not even terribly established fiction, it sort of drains that power away. It lacks a certain...anchoring in the culture. It shows a kid that his or her folks were moved by a fad, and that is maybe a lesson can go down hard. But that's my take on it, and they're not my kids, and it's not my decision. I don't hold with it, I don't agree with it, but it's not my place to judge--well, maybe a little, but it has less to do about the child than the parents, and I WILL judge the f*ck out of other parents around my wee girl. And I can see folks who will judge others for what they name their kids. I can understand it, if it is sort of this faddish sort of thing. Mind you, it is sort of sad, that Christians forget Matthew 7:1, but it is understandable.

But it's none of my business, and while internally I may roll my eyes, if someone introduces their baby Katniss to me, I'm going to answer the phone when the bairn hands me their plastic phone and get to know the kid. Kids can't help what we name them, so maybe it's a good idea to make that name means something, but it's not my business if they decide to do so with a fad, because we all have our idiosyncrasies. It's, at best, a venial sin against good taste.


You used a Scottish word
 
2012-12-30 10:23:04 AM  
My wife wouldn't even let me call the dog Jezabel. Instead took a totally unbiblical name. It is a shame!
 
2012-12-30 10:29:24 AM  

ilikeracecars: Carotid: How about "Le-a" pronounced "Ledasha". I kid you not. Actual legal name.

Find the evidence. Someone posting it on FB doesn't mean its real.


I heard of this from a local high school teacher several years ago, a woman I trust not to make sh*t up; she's a terrible liar and has no imagination.

"Ladasha" isn't uncommon; it's just adding "La" to "Dasha" (I've known a couple of Dashas). The "La-a" spelling is something girls with that name do themselves, attempting to ... well, I don't know really what they're hoping to accomplish. When the girl says "the dash be silent" (actual quote), you know what you're dealing with.
 
2012-12-30 10:36:41 AM  
i101.photobucket.com
Bishop Don Juan has proclaimed that Lunesta, Boniva, and Valtrexia are now biblical names. Also the name Completrius but only if youre sure your son will become a NFL wide reciever
 
2012-12-30 10:41:49 AM  

Fluorescent Testicle: Draken_26301: I was accused of naming my kid after the mail character from A Clockwork Orange.

[i50.tinypic.com image 346x500]


You put a lot of work into that.
 
2012-12-30 10:48:30 AM  

Serious Black: Mr. Coffee Nerves: GoldSpider: Gulper Eel:

Yeah, because a woman is going to be named Chief Justice of the Supreme Court in any of our lifetimes. Unless John Roberts unexpectedly dies, he's going to resign under a GOP president (probably when I'm in my 50's). And unless Hell freezes over, that president will pickappoint a WASP male to the court then pick said Wasp to replace him.


ftfy
 
2012-12-30 10:50:52 AM  
I'm a physician, and working with kids you see some insane names come around

Kor-shá, for example, pronounced core-SHA! Yes, the mother put extra emphasis on the last syllable.
D'ant'won. Pronounced De-an-twon, and one of the several I've seen with 2 apostrophes.

More -adens and former last names made into first names than I can count, but at least those don't make our records system stroke out like the extra apostrophes and hyphens.

In addition to the stripper rule above, I firmly believe there should be one more. If you think you'll have your doctor asking "And how do you pronounce that...", then don't use that as a name!
 
2012-12-30 11:00:27 AM  
Belong to the church of Apple.
Named my crotch fruit Iboy and Igirl.
 
2012-12-30 11:08:00 AM  

Lionel Mandrake: I'm naming my kids Pilate and Nebuchadnezzar.


I want to name my next child after this biblical character orangecow.org
 
2012-12-30 11:09:30 AM  

fusillade762: [o.onionstatic.com image 850x714]

/oblig


Estradiol
 
2012-12-30 11:15:22 AM  

Close2TheEdge: Why not names right out of Middle-Earth? Lord of the Rings is a bigger piece of fiction than the Bible, and Thorin Okenshield is a much cooler name than David.


I personally know a 13 year old boy named Thorin, he goes by Thor. And yes it is for the dwarf king.
 
2012-12-30 11:16:38 AM  
Surprised that no one has called this out yet...

The problem with biatching about not using Biblical names, is that the names that they are biatching about aren't really Biblical themselves. Peter, Paul, Mary, Thomas, Matthew, Simon, et al are FAKE NAMES. No One, 2000 years ago in the MIDDLE EAST, had THESE NAMES. Even the name 'Jesus' is a bullshiat made up transliteration. Any actual scholars out there? What's the first rule of translating from one language to another? -> YOU DON'T TRANSLATE PROPER NOUNS! You convert the sound phonyms so the name remains pronounced the same BUT YOU DON'T TRANSLATE IT.

So who are people REALLY praying to when they pray to Jesus? Maybe _that_ is why they fail.
 
2012-12-30 11:18:21 AM  
Where were these people when Jessica and Jennifer and Jason were the most popular names?

/none of them are Biblical
 
2012-12-30 11:18:48 AM  
imgs.xkcd.com

Obligitory
 
2012-12-30 11:24:03 AM  
Riding through the local park recently I had my portable scanner with me. As I rode close to a local elementary school, they were letting the kids out for the day. They were using walkie-talkies to call for the children as the parents drove up. There were some normal names and some like have been discused in this thread. But one stuck out. Some genius parent named their Divinity.
 
2012-12-30 11:27:21 AM  

ambercat: Millennium: Start the counter-trend: name your kid Zebulun or Hagar.

Good point, if we had only named more kids Zebulun or better yet Zebulon maybe we'd have flying cars by now.


i26.photobucket.com
i26.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-30 11:28:15 AM  
My girlfriend was out with our son when an older lady asked what his name was. he told her his name is Damien Michael. The lady then asked her why on earth we would name him that. Her response? "have you met his father?" And the lady just walked away.

/true story
//Yes that is his name
 
2012-12-30 11:29:28 AM  
*she
 
2012-12-30 11:31:56 AM  
My sister married some guy named Hard.

They named my niece Ryder.

I don't think this is going to end well
 
2012-12-30 11:42:30 AM  
Since when is "Sophia" not a Christian name? What a stupid article.
 
2012-12-30 11:43:24 AM  
Speaking of biblical names, there sure are many Nimrods on WND
 
2012-12-30 11:44:14 AM  
My first son's name is Sanskrit and Greek.

Second's is Latin and Old English.

Mine is straight up two farking disciples.

Time. Marches. On. Sort of.

Maybe their children will have 21st Century names like Galaxy and Ethernet.
 
2012-12-30 11:46:06 AM  

Mouser: Millennium: Start the counter-trend: name your kid Zebulun or Hagar.

I was thinking Obadiah, myself. Can't go wrong with a name like that.


Malachi and Nicodemus would also work.
 
2012-12-30 11:49:37 AM  
I would name my son Jepthah...but then I would always worry about the grandchildren.

// I hope it's not obscure...
 
2012-12-30 11:55:00 AM  
Has anyone come up with the tidbit that the bible wasn't written in english, and over the years the spelling and translation and pronoucation has changed all kinds of stuff?
 
2012-12-30 12:05:23 PM  
I don't care about the mythology tied to kids' names. But as a 40 y.o. from KY, Christopher Aaron (New/Old testament) for me is pretty standard for men of my age. I can't put my finger on when things started to get weird name-wise. It seems every dude I grew up with is Jason/Kevin/Chris/Michael/Matthew/somesuch. It seems NO ONE is naming their boys like that these days. Here in The South, LOTS of Dakotas and other vaguley western-sounding things, and this:

dragon927
The trend I hate lately are what I call "job" names.

Fisher
Hunter
Walker
Rider
Parker
etc.

It's like the parents are expecting what the kid is going to be doing all his/her life.


What is that all about? Menawhile, Ms. FPB has a friend who she babysits for. She's one of these 30-something Neo-Cons that isn't totally Fundie. Goes to the "casual" church, smokes, cusses. Isn't with her baby's daddy(ies), isn't married to the guy she's with.

One of her daughters is named Americus, another is named Palin.

Palin.
 
2012-12-30 12:05:56 PM  
I like the idea of made-up names that sound biblical--like Jehoobabel or Jebediah. Such Cromulent names will embiggen the smallest child.
 
2012-12-30 12:08:12 PM  

Buffalo77: I don't think this is going to end well


Especially if your niece marries Mr. Putawaywet.
 
2012-12-30 12:09:45 PM  

23FPB23: One of her daughters is named Americus, another is named Palin.

Palin.


In these parts a popular name during that election cycle was Maverick. Ran into one of the little squirts recently when he flipped over his mommy's entire shopping cart while mommy was saying "Now Maverick, I asked you to behave!"
 
2012-12-30 12:09:58 PM  

23FPB23: it seems every WHITE dude I grew up with is Jason/Kevin/Chris/Michael/Matthew/somesuch.


FTFM

Also, grew up with a black kid named Montreal.

Pronounced MON-trell
 
2012-12-30 12:10:59 PM  
If I had a son, I would name "Hadouken." Every time I had to call him over I would pretend like I'm throwing a fireball.

/Hadouken! Hadouken!
//(tries to jump over fireball) SHORYUKEN!
///Sucks at Street Fighter.
 
2012-12-30 12:14:03 PM  
What about Bon-Qui-Qui?http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZkdcYlOn5M
 
2012-12-30 12:15:08 PM  
Uriah Heep FTW!
 
2012-12-30 12:15:11 PM  

gadian: 23FPB23: One of her daughters is named Americus, another is named Palin.

Palin.

In these parts a popular name during that election cycle was Maverick. Ran into one of the little squirts recently when he flipped over his mommy's entire shopping cart while mommy was saying "Now Maverick, I asked you to behave!"


Yeah that gets back to the vaguely Western thing that's been going on. It seems to have co-incided, at least around here, to the trend of tacky Native-American decor. You know, dream catchers and wolves and shiat.

Hell, former U of Texas QB's name is Colt McCoy. How farkin funny is that, especially since he played for Texas! And his younger brother is named Chase, another name I never heard until about 15-20 years ago.
 
2012-12-30 12:17:41 PM  

mat catastrophe: My first son's name is Sanskrit and Greek.

Second's is Latin and Old English.

Mine is straight up two farking disciples.

Time. Marches. On. Sort of.

Maybe their children will have 21st Century names like Galaxy and Ethernet.



So your kids are named "Sanskrit and Greek Catastrophe", and "Latin and Old English Catastrophe"? Damn. And I thought I had trouble finding "Wulfman" on souvenir key chains and coffee mugs.
 
2012-12-30 12:26:23 PM  
i.imgur.com
Urhines Kendall Icy Eight Special K
 
2012-12-30 12:43:26 PM  
For the love of god parents, please remember your baby isn't a toy or a pet. Remember it's going to grow into an adult person 18 years down the line and will need to find a job, etc.

If you want to name your kid something weird get a dog or a cat and name it that. FFS.

Don't stress over giving your kid a unique name, why don't you raise them to be a unique an interesting person instead.
 
2012-12-30 12:51:04 PM  
I knew a guy whose first name was Sukhdeep.
 
2012-12-30 12:54:31 PM  

2and4: 1. Aiden
2. Jackson
3. Ethan
4. Liam
5. Mason
6. Noah
7. Lucas
8. Jacob
9. Jayden
10. Jack

Good to see Jack making a comeback. If this was a horse race, I know who I'd bet on.


I'm waiting for someone to name their little lad Mayden.

You know, to make him "different" from the Ayden Brayden Cayden Layden Jayden Kayden crowd.
 
2012-12-30 12:55:00 PM  
a cousin named her kids Christian Purity Virgin, and Faith Chastiy Rightousness

I'm going to suggest if these parents (divorced) get back together they could name a son

Atad, a thorn[635][636]
Avim, wicked or perverse men[663][664]
Avith, wicked, perverse[665][666]

Atad Avim Avith.

Christian Purity Virgin has had 5 husbands, and Faith Chastity Rightousness came out to the family

I believe both parents have had more than one spouce.
 
2012-12-30 12:58:08 PM  

dragon927: The trend I hate lately are what I call "job" names.

Fisher
Hunter
Walker
Rider
Parker
etc.

It's like the parents are expecting what the kid is going to be doing all his/her life.


Someone suggested Mason and Hunter for my twins. I said that since I'm a High Expectation Asian Mother, if I were to name my sons with job descriptions, they'll be Surgeon and Lawyer.
 
2012-12-30 01:07:59 PM  

Serious Black: I'll take these people's complaints seriously when they start naming their boys Methuselah and their girls Zipporah. Until then, you're not Biblical enough, asshats.


I know two Zipporahs. Both cute. Zippi tends to be the de facto nickname.

\Jewish
 
2012-12-30 01:08:31 PM  

2and4: 1. Aiden
2. Jackson
3. Ethan
4. Liam
5. Mason
6. Noah
7. Lucas
8. Jacob
9. Jayden
10. Jack

Good to see Jack making a comeback. If this was a horse race, I know who I'd bet on.


I am Jack's medulla oblungata
 
2012-12-30 01:18:25 PM  
Only one of my siblings has a biblical name, and my parents are fairly conservative Catholics. Point is, most people are drawing names from other sources. I was named after a country, my sister (only one with a biblical name) after a relative, and my little brother because my mom has a thing for Irish names. And the names I'm considering for any future little mad scientists are either from books/movies that had a big impact on me,or are family names. (if I have any male offspring, my brothers are getting a namesake)

Besides, not all the biblical names are good, and using one doesn't necessarily indicate piety. Just ask Von Zinzer here: Link
 
2012-12-30 01:18:55 PM  
Potential names for children you like:

1. Steven

2. Robert

3. William

Potential names for children you hate:

1. Cornelius

2. Williburforth

3. wilhelmina

Potential names for children you want to never have a date ever:

1. Jermagesty

2. Honey-poppy

3. Suri

Good pet names you can saddle a child with and screw up their lives

1. Katniss

2. Hopper

3. Anything from a sci fi book
 
2012-12-30 01:22:53 PM  

Mouser:
I was thinking Obadiah, myself. Can't go wrong with a name like that.


encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com

Begs to differ....

/ may be obscure
 
2012-12-30 01:26:39 PM  

justinsmith354:

Interesting note...they found people with those crazy names looked for jobs on average 15 days longer than "normal" sounding names. Due to call backs and what not. They also discovered over 200 versions of the name "unique".


True.

My sister has an old Czech name as her given name. However, most Americans upon hearing it think it's a "black" name.

She always had trouble securing job interviews, etc., even though she has a stellar employment history, and she blames her name. She's shared several anecdotes over the yeas of interviewers and other near-strangers being very [pleasantly?] surprised to meet her in person and find out that she's white.

At some point, my sister started putting a picture of herself on her résumé. Once she started doing that, she had no trouble getting a job interview ever again.
 
2012-12-30 01:31:13 PM  

Great_Milenko: What about all our "visitors" from south of the border named Jesus?


weknowmemes.com
 
2012-12-30 01:36:41 PM  
I befriended someone on Facebook just because of his name. It's Phuc D. Huang. Brilliant name, if you ask me.

\totes true
 
2012-12-30 02:00:22 PM  
Uhm, just a basic logic fail here, but if the scriptural names are supposedly holier, where did the people in scripture get them from? Surely this would ahve come up back then, "you want to name him what? No, he's gotta be this so he can be better" etc.

/bible believer
//constantly pray for the strength to deal with my fellow believers
 
2012-12-30 02:04:08 PM  
My kids are named Paul and Michael, but that's just a coincidence. Paul is named after my wife's dad, and Michael is named after Michael Knight (with his middle name being Bruce for Bruce Campbell and Bruce Wayne).

/atheist
//but likes normal names.
 
2012-12-30 02:12:11 PM  

Enitria: Rather than use pretend names from a book of stories we decided to honor some real people. Our moms are Tina and Mary, so we put them together and got Martina. Lovely name.


yeah, that's an idea we also have. my mother's middle name was Susan, and my wife's mother's middle name is Anna, so if we have a girl, we'll likely go with Susanna.
 
2012-12-30 02:13:47 PM  

Greek: Enitria: Rather than use pretend names from a book of stories we decided to honor some real people. Our moms are Tina and Mary, so we put them together and got Martina. Lovely name.

yeah, that's an idea we also have. my mother's middle name was Susan, and my wife's mother's middle name is Anna, so if we have a girl, we'll likely go with Susanna.


i would have probably gone with Charity
 
2012-12-30 02:16:38 PM  

fusillade762: [o.onionstatic.com image 850x714]

/oblig


Propecia? That's a NAME? Next thing, someone with bald-faced cheek will name their child Alopecia!
 
2012-12-30 02:18:30 PM  

Do you know the way to Mordor: fusillade762: [o.onionstatic.com image 850x714]

/oblig

Propecia? That's a NAME? Next thing, someone with bald-faced cheek will name their child Alopecia!


what about prozac or minoxidil
 
2012-12-30 02:26:46 PM  
We had our first daughter this year and named her Maxine.
 
2012-12-30 02:32:14 PM  

hubiestubert: Oddly enough, my mixed blood tochis has HUGE Biblical connotations. An Archangel and a fairly important Biblical king. Then it gets mucked up with the Ellis Island mistake of transforming our German name into something vaguely Dutch or oddly transliteral in English. Not a big deal. My mother is Japanese, but somehow the genetics worked out to me only coming out only a bit Nihonjin looking, so maybe it's a good thing that I wasn't saddled with an Archangel's name, and then Toshiro or Hironori.

Rather than look for cool sounding names for our daughter, my then wife and I decided that we wanted to name our girl after people we care about. Thus she got named for my wife's best friend, my Aunt who raised me and is as close to a mother as I have, and my then wife's grandmother, who we were afraid wasn't going to live to see our girl, and we wanted her to know that she had a namesake, and maybe it worked, because the gal pulled through to see her namesake. It does mean that our daughter hates us around standardized testing time, because she NEVER has enough room to write out her full name. When she was a baby, we joked that her name was longer than she was. And it kind of is, but it is chock full of meaning. If the girl critter and I have a son, then he will be named after folks who are important to us again. As a namesake. As a way of remembrance and honoring those folks.

That my daughter's name has some Biblical elements isn't because we honor the People of the Book--neither of us are Christian. I'm a Buddhist, and my ex wife is a pagan. OK, she's sort of Newage--and yes, that's pronounced like it rhymes with "sewage" but her's is a mix and match sort of thing, and it's sort of hard to respect a faith tradition that picks and chooses what elements it will follow like a pu pu platter. It wound up that way, because the people we were closest to had fairly common names, and their folks chose some good sized Christian ones.

We chose to honor the folks who are closest to u ...


TL;DR
 
2012-12-30 02:36:24 PM  
My son is Alexander, from 'the great' as well as Delarge'. I wanted Hannibal, but his mom said no way...
 
2012-12-30 02:37:09 PM  

Wulfman: mat catastrophe: My first son's name is Sanskrit and Greek.

Second's is Latin and Old English.

Mine is straight up two farking disciples.

Time. Marches. On. Sort of.

Maybe their children will have 21st Century names like Galaxy and Ethernet.


So your kids are named "Sanskrit and Greek Catastrophe", and "Latin and Old English Catastrophe"? Damn. And I thought I had trouble finding "Wulfman" on souvenir key chains and coffee mugs.


DSYIMTL
 
2012-12-30 02:43:39 PM  

clipperbox: please oh please fark, please skew that silly poll at the end. this could use some more votes:


"The Bible is filled with hate and violence -- who wants to use a book like that to pick a name for a child? (2%, 2 Votes)"


Up to 8 votes, anyway.
 
2012-12-30 03:48:51 PM  
Collectively, amongst our family, friends and neighbors we are known as the Kens. Big Ken, Lil Ken, aka Kenny and Kendra aka Mama Ken. No, we're not inbred or even remotely related, it was just an odd coincidence that occurred about 17 years ago. I still love the looks on stranger's faces when one of us calls out to the other. A lot of folks assume that Lil Ken is my biological child, but he's not-just given his father's first name that I happen to share the feminized version of.
 
2012-12-30 04:00:27 PM  
Christianity previously: "We are fashionable. Hooray the whims of fashion!"
Christianity currently: "We are less fashionable. The whims of fashion suck!"
 
2012-12-30 04:05:38 PM  
It is amusing that English-speaking white people assume there have only been a couple of dozen names used by said English-speaking white people from the dawn of time - and doubly amusing that they are all Jewish names, not even Indo-European. While actually, English (and by extension, American) names have been all ove rthe place. In fact, you can argue that English names default to what the WND crowd sees as the "only real names" only in times of decline and stagnation. During times of increase and power, names tend to flower. To wit, Victorian names:

Link

Go farther back, and you get the Do-Not-Bathe-on-the-Sabbath and Verily-Marching-for-the-Lord set. My wife's research into the early EIC has turned up Tempest Peacock and Dixie Clitherow (both men, btw).

And, if you must insist on "white" names, at least choose real ones like Aethelwulf, Maponus, and Etheswitha.
 
2012-12-30 04:09:25 PM  
Actually, none of those listed names are bad in and of themselves. Before Twilight, I very much liked the name Bella. Jayden has existed as a name for quite a while too, but it has recently become trendy and therefore EEEEEVIIIILLLLLL apparently. Grayden as well, although it used to be spelled Graydon.

As for the "getting baby names from pop culture", thing, that's been going on for centuries. Pamela was invented in the 17th or 18th century. Fiona may have been invented by Sir Walter Scott. And let's not get started on Shakespeare.

Not that some trendy names aren't ridiculous, but getting butthurt over a name because of its source is a waste of time.

/name from the bible
//bad example- always hated it because the character's a biatch
///use middle name instead- that's what it's for
 
2012-12-30 04:32:23 PM  

Nogale: My cousins' sons - Eli, Sam, Josh, Jonah, and Zeev - beg to differ.


Zeev either rhymes with Skeev or is going to by the time he gets to 1st grade.
 
2012-12-30 04:47:04 PM  
OK, fine, WND.  If I have a boy, I'll name him "Satan Judas Wormwood," and if it's a girl, I'll name her "Whore of Babylon."

Happy now?
 
2012-12-30 04:49:59 PM  

fusillade762: [o.onionstatic.com image 850x714]

/oblig


Ashleigh and Madison, eh?

/Pic is probably BS
//WND -> NGTRTFA
 
2012-12-30 04:54:55 PM  

People_are_Idiots: What's funny, if I had a girl I was thinking of Lillith or Morrigan...


How about Delilah or Jezebel?
 
2012-12-30 05:00:01 PM  

i upped my meds-up yours: Nogale: My cousins' sons - Eli, Sam, Josh, Jonah, and Zeev - beg to differ.

Zeev either rhymes with Skeev or is going to by the time he gets to 1st grade.


No, because the correct pronunciation "Zeh-ev" is shortened to "Zev."
 
2012-12-30 05:21:02 PM  

Rhino_man: The future of American baby names (Video)


Ok, lost it at this guy:

i1091.photobucket.com

The rest were pretty awesome, too.

I will never forget this girl I knew back in grade-school, her name was Isolene(with some other hyphenated ridiculousness). I wont mention the rest of her name for privacy reasons, but I don't think It would be that hard to find her name in a phone book either way.
 
2012-12-30 05:31:29 PM  

basemetal: Sorry, girls cant go dancing on the pole with names like Esther or Martha.

/no one tips those girls


Esther Wethips?
 
2012-12-30 05:42:00 PM  
Yeah, what about good biblical names like Erick Erickson?!
 
2012-12-30 06:29:54 PM  

Soymilk: dragon927: The trend I hate lately are what I call "job" names.

Fisher
Hunter
Walker
Rider
Parker
etc.

It's like the parents are expecting what the kid is going to be doing all his/her life.

Someone suggested Mason and Hunter for my twins. I said that since I'm a High Expectation Asian Mother, if I were to name my sons with job descriptions, they'll be Surgeon and Lawyer.


Wasn't there an NFL player called Lawyer Malloy?

Respectable job/names

Actuary
Chemist
Cartographer
Patissiere
Financier
 
2012-12-30 06:34:45 PM  

Faddy: Soymilk: dragon927: The trend I hate lately are what I call "job" names.

Fisher
Hunter
Walker
Rider
Parker
etc.

It's like the parents are expecting what the kid is going to be doing all his/her life.

Someone suggested Mason and Hunter for my twins. I said that since I'm a High Expectation Asian Mother, if I were to name my sons with job descriptions, they'll be Surgeon and Lawyer.

Wasn't there an NFL player called Lawyer Malloy?

Respectable job/names

Actuary
Chemist
Cartographer
Patissiere
Financier


i105.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-30 06:43:44 PM  
Are Biblical names supposed to protect them or something? Everyone with a name in the Bible suffered at some point, many times at the whims of God himself.
 
2012-12-30 07:02:41 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Millennium: Start the counter-trend: name your kid Zebulun or Hagar.

Or names from a different bible.



I've known people with both of those names. Weird.

// I was always partial to Shadrak, Nishak, and Abednego
 
2012-12-30 07:03:51 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: If you put 10 men in a room odds are 2 of them are named Dave. We're in good company even if we tend to stay out of the public eye


Dave's not here man.
 
2012-12-30 07:22:26 PM  
its been my life's experience that nothing is lamer than a very pollock surname with a very plain first name (thanks mom and dad!). so we named our boy kazimir. at the very least...the mother tongues match.

/plus, his initials are KGB
//if he ever plays sports (dad is 6'3 and mom is 5'10) he's gonna be a monster.
///sportscasters love that shiat!
 
2012-12-30 07:44:27 PM  

Do you know the way to Mordor: fusillade762: [o.onionstatic.com image 850x714]

/oblig

Propecia? That's a NAME? Next thing, someone with bald-faced cheek will name their child Alopecia!


Lee Jackson Beauregard: fusillade762: [o.onionstatic.com image 850x714]

/oblig

Ashleigh and Madison, eh?

/Pic is probably BS


That infographic is from The Onion. From 1999 or so.
 
2012-12-30 07:45:10 PM  

Lee Jackson Beauregard: People_are_Idiots: What's funny, if I had a girl I was thinking of Lillith or Morrigan...

How about Delilah or Jezebel?


Who are they? Oh, the middle name would be Aensland....
 
2012-12-30 07:53:30 PM  

Greek: yeah, that's an idea we also have. my mother's middle name was Susan, and my wife's mother's middle name is Anna, so if we have a girl, we'll likely go with Susanna.


Well don't you cry for me.
 
2012-12-30 07:53:45 PM  
You know what these names will turn into, don't you? They'll be names synonymous with old people, like "Grace" or "Mabel", these days.

That's what trendy names do.
 
2012-12-30 08:05:01 PM  
For our second kid we were looking for something unique, yet not trendy-kooky. We chose "Ryker", expecting to never see another kid by that name. In the 2 years that have passed, we've met 3 other Rykers, and even found sippy cups pre-stamped with the name at a major retail store.

//There are no more unique names.
 
2012-12-30 08:19:08 PM  

Zarquon's Flat Tire: My sister was looking for baby names (twins and they decided not know gender so they have to pick out 8 names) and was joking about some of her least favorites, one of which was Shirtney. Now the twins have been nicknamed Shirtyney and Pantsney before birth.


How does that require 8 names?
boy, boy
boy, girl
girl, girl
Are they using different names depending on the order the kids are born if it's one of each?
 
2012-12-30 08:27:15 PM  

Forbidden Doughnut: / may be obscure


Sargent Hawkswill is not obscure...

// read almost every book....
 
2012-12-30 09:20:12 PM  

minivanracer: My girlfriend was out with our son when an older lady asked what his name was. he told her his name is Damien Michael. The lady then asked her why on earth we would name him that. Her response? "have you met his father?" And the lady just walked away.

/true story
//Yes that is his name


Funny story, the people living across the street from my parents named their kid Damien and he was quite the little monster I tell you what. The last I heard the father was in jail on domestic abuse charges.
 
2012-12-31 07:01:21 AM  

DeusMeh: its been my life's experience that nothing is lamer than a very pollock surname with a very plain first name (thanks mom and dad!). so we named our boy kazimir. at the very least...the mother tongues match.

/plus, his initials are KGB
//if he ever plays sports (dad is 6'3 and mom is 5'10) he's gonna be a monster.
///sportscasters love that shiat!


Yeah, I have that problem in spades. Dad is 100% Polish, and I have one of the most common first names to ever be unleashed upon American children.
 
2012-12-31 07:37:20 AM  

Fine I'll Join Fark: Zarquon's Flat Tire: My sister was looking for baby names (twins and they decided not know gender so they have to pick out 8 names) and was joking about some of her least favorites, one of which was Shirtney. Now the twins have been nicknamed Shirtyney and Pantsney before birth.

How does that require 8 names?
boy, boy
boy, girl
girl, girl
Are they using different names depending on the order the kids are born if it's one of each?


I presume that would be both first and middle names, two sets for two possible boys and two sets for two possible girls, with one of each chosen if they turn out to be one of each.

boy(first)boy(middle) and boy(first)boy(middle)
girl(first)girl(middle) and girl(first)girl(middle)

Eight names total.
 
2012-12-31 07:48:10 AM  

Fine I'll Join Fark: Zarquon's Flat Tire: My sister was looking for baby names (twins and they decided not know gender so they have to pick out 8 names) and was joking about some of her least favorites, one of which was Shirtney. Now the twins have been nicknamed Shirtyney and Pantsney before birth.

How does that require 8 names?
boy, boy
boy, girl
girl, girl
Are they using different names depending on the order the kids are born if it's one of each?


First, middle is two names per kid.
 
2012-12-31 07:50:27 AM  

Gordon Bennett: Fine I'll Join Fark: Zarquon's Flat Tire: My sister was looking for baby names (twins and they decided not know gender so they have to pick out 8 names) and was joking about some of her least favorites, one of which was Shirtney. Now the twins have been nicknamed Shirtyney and Pantsney before birth.

How does that require 8 names?
boy, boy
boy, girl
girl, girl
Are they using different names depending on the order the kids are born if it's one of each?

I presume that would be both first and middle names, two sets for two possible boys and two sets for two possible girls, with one of each chosen if they turn out to be one of each.

boy(first)boy(middle) and boy(first)boy(middle)
girl(first)girl(middle) and girl(first)girl(middle)

Eight names total.


Yeah, what he said.
 
2012-12-31 09:46:56 AM  
Joseph Stalin, Daniel Barbosa, Moses Sithole, and John Gacy all had biblical names.
 
2012-12-31 10:09:39 AM  

People_are_Idiots: What's funny, if I had a girl I was thinking of Lillith or Morrigan...


I'm super late to this party, but my son born earlier this year is named Alistair.

/Not a coincidence
//Mom & Dad are geeks
///Further proof - his middle name is Wheatley
 
2012-12-31 11:08:12 AM  

Zarquon's Flat Tire: Gordon Bennett: Fine I'll Join Fark: Zarquon's Flat Tire: My sister was looking for baby names (twins and they decided not know gender so they have to pick out 8 names) and was joking about some of her least favorites, one of which was Shirtney. Now the twins have been nicknamed Shirtyney and Pantsney before birth.

How does that require 8 names?
boy, boy
boy, girl
girl, girl
Are they using different names depending on the order the kids are born if it's one of each?

I presume that would be both first and middle names, two sets for two possible boys and two sets for two possible girls, with one of each chosen if they turn out to be one of each.

boy(first)boy(middle) and boy(first)boy(middle)
girl(first)girl(middle) and girl(first)girl(middle)

Eight names total.

Yeah, what he said.


Hmm... I'd be half afraid they'd have two of one gender and one would eventually find out they got the backup/2nd choice name.

How do parents choose if they can hardly tell them apart?
 
2012-12-31 12:06:27 PM  

Faddy: Soymilk: dragon927: The trend I hate lately are what I call "job" names.

Fisher
Hunter
Walker
Rider
Parker
etc.

It's like the parents are expecting what the kid is going to be doing all his/her life.

Someone suggested Mason and Hunter for my twins. I said that since I'm a High Expectation Asian Mother, if I were to name my sons with job descriptions, they'll be Surgeon and Lawyer.

Wasn't there an NFL player called Lawyer Malloy?

Respectable job/names

Actuary
Chemist
Cartographer
Patissiere
Financier


What drives me crazy about this trend is that these are last names, taken from old-timey peasant professions. "William the fisher" turns into "Bill Fisher", Aethelred Ericcson who does the weaving has a daughter, Margaret the weaver's daughter, until she marries the bloke who puts roofs on huts, and becomes Margaret the thatcher's wife - Margaret Thatcher.

So why the hell would you want to give your kid two last names? It's like giving your kid two first names - you're an idiot and kids are going to be failures.

/corollary to stripper name rules - any girl with two first names ends up on the pole or her back
//amberlyn, annabella, etc
 
2012-12-31 12:11:50 PM  

ErinPac: Zarquon's Flat Tire: Gordon Bennett: Fine I'll Join Fark: Zarquon's Flat Tire: My sister was looking for baby names (twins and they decided not know gender so they have to pick out 8 names) and was joking about some of her least favorites, one of which was Shirtney. Now the twins have been nicknamed Shirtyney and Pantsney before birth.

How does that require 8 names?
boy, boy
boy, girl
girl, girl
Are they using different names depending on the order the kids are born if it's one of each?

I presume that would be both first and middle names, two sets for two possible boys and two sets for two possible girls, with one of each chosen if they turn out to be one of each.

boy(first)boy(middle) and boy(first)boy(middle)
girl(first)girl(middle) and girl(first)girl(middle)

Eight names total.

Yeah, what he said.

Hmm... I'd be half afraid they'd have two of one gender and one would eventually find out they got the backup/2nd choice name.

How do parents choose if they can hardly tell them apart?


I imagine they will get mixed up quite a few times at first. At least I would, maybe not my sister and husband.

Nice, just thought I can take them somewhere then play the shell game. Did I switch their clothes after a changing? You'll never know sis!
 
2012-12-31 12:19:19 PM  

phyrkrakr: Faddy: Soymilk: dragon927: The trend I hate lately are what I call "job" names.

Fisher
Hunter
Walker
Rider
Parker
etc.

It's like the parents are expecting what the kid is going to be doing all his/her life.

Someone suggested Mason and Hunter for my twins. I said that since I'm a High Expectation Asian Mother, if I were to name my sons with job descriptions, they'll be Surgeon and Lawyer.

Wasn't there an NFL player called Lawyer Malloy?

Respectable job/names

Actuary
Chemist
Cartographer
Patissiere
Financier

What drives me crazy about this trend is that these are last names, taken from old-timey peasant professions. "William the fisher" turns into "Bill Fisher", Aethelred Ericcson who does the weaving has a daughter, Margaret the weaver's daughter, until she marries the bloke who puts roofs on huts, and becomes Margaret the thatcher's wife - Margaret Thatcher.


i105.photobucket.com
Approves.
 
2012-12-31 12:40:22 PM  

phyrkrakr: Faddy: Soymilk: dragon927: The trend I hate lately are what I call "job" names.

Fisher
Hunter
Walker
Rider
Parker
etc.

It's like the parents are expecting what the kid is going to be doing all his/her life.

Someone suggested Mason and Hunter for my twins. I said that since I'm a High Expectation Asian Mother, if I were to name my sons with job descriptions, they'll be Surgeon and Lawyer.

Wasn't there an NFL player called Lawyer Malloy?

Respectable job/names

Actuary
Chemist
Cartographer
Patissiere
Financier

What drives me crazy about this trend is that these are last names, taken from old-timey peasant professions. "William the fisher" turns into "Bill Fisher", Aethelred Ericcson who does the weaving has a daughter, Margaret the weaver's daughter, until she marries the bloke who puts roofs on huts, and becomes Margaret the thatcher's wife - Margaret Thatcher.

So why the hell would you want to give your kid two last names? It's like giving your kid two first names - you're an idiot and kids are going to be failures.

/corollary to stripper name rules - any girl with two first names ends up on the pole or her back
//amberlyn, annabella, etc


It's lower middle class kids trying to be "prestigious" by giving the kids a last name as a first name.

Drives me nuts too. A last name is a last name FFS.
 
2012-12-31 12:43:44 PM  
Named our kid Yahweh, biblical enough?
 
2012-12-31 01:32:17 PM  

blatz514: Mike Hunt


He's my sheriff.

Really.

Mike Hunt.
 
2012-12-31 04:01:47 PM  

Worldwalker: blatz514: Mike Hunt

He's my sheriff.

Really.

Mike Hunt.


Does he have a Hugh Rection as his deputy?

/middle initial G
//never uses the G.
 
2012-12-31 05:39:25 PM  

madanimalscientist: Only one of my siblings has a biblical name, and my parents are fairly conservative Catholics. Point is, most people are drawing names from other sources. I was named after a country, my sister (only one with a biblical name) after a relative, and my little brother because my mom has a thing for Irish names. And the names I'm considering for any future little mad scientists are either from books/movies that had a big impact on me,or are family names. (if I have any male offspring, my brothers are getting a namesake)

Besides, not all the biblical names are good, and using one doesn't necessarily indicate piety. Just ask Von Zinzer here: Link


My husband and I were thinking 'Agatha' for a girl.
 
2012-12-31 06:30:14 PM  

madanimalscientist: ask Von Zinzer here: Link



I love the "I'm helping" kids.

/Huh... those pages are still uncolored?
 
2012-12-31 06:32:36 PM  

SpiderQueenDemon: madanimalscientist: Only one of my siblings has a biblical name, and my parents are fairly conservative Catholics. Point is, most people are drawing names from other sources. I was named after a country, my sister (only one with a biblical name) after a relative, and my little brother because my mom has a thing for Irish names. And the names I'm considering for any future little mad scientists are either from books/movies that had a big impact on me,or are family names. (if I have any male offspring, my brothers are getting a namesake)

Besides, not all the biblical names are good, and using one doesn't necessarily indicate piety. Just ask Von Zinzer here: Link

My husband and I were thinking 'Agatha' for a girl.



Just as long as you stay out of her head...
 
2012-12-31 10:25:57 PM  
I always thought the Secretaries-General of the United Nations would make great namesakes. Sure, Kurt and Javier are a little pedestrian, but Trygve, Dag, U, Boutros, Kofi and Ban are all great names. I think I like U best.
 
2012-12-31 10:29:22 PM  

SpiderQueenDemon: madanimalscientist: Only one of my siblings has a biblical name, and my parents are fairly conservative Catholics. Point is, most people are drawing names from other sources. I was named after a country, my sister (only one with a biblical name) after a relative, and my little brother because my mom has a thing for Irish names. And the names I'm considering for any future little mad scientists are either from books/movies that had a big impact on me,or are family names. (if I have any male offspring, my brothers are getting a namesake)

Besides, not all the biblical names are good, and using one doesn't necessarily indicate piety. Just ask Von Zinzer here: Link

My husband and I were thinking 'Agatha' for a girl.


So am I. Agatha Elaine and Dairine Penelope are my top names for female sprogs, and Bryce William and Jareth Joseph for any males. Agatha is a good name, imho. Plus, my partners and I met because of Girl Genius, so it's fitting.
 
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