If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Salon)   "Vibrators ruined my sex life." Definitely nothing to buzz about   (salon.com) divider line 223
    More: Silly, Hitachi  
•       •       •

24951 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Dec 2012 at 1:14 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



223 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-12-30 03:13:36 PM  
In the future, we can expect to see such articles as "My husband thinks I am replacing him with a handsome sex droid because which is silly because I give my husband love and affection and the sex droid is just there to assist us during every sexual encounter".
 
2012-12-30 04:37:28 PM  
insulting the BF in front of the entire world must be why they say dont fark anyone crazier than yourself. he did and this happened.

never fark anyone crazier than yourself. you want you dirty laundry on fark? Good luck getting a new bf.
 
2012-12-30 04:58:29 PM  
Funny...I thought those devices were only used in Japan ( according to my research).
It's strange how most commonly found porn in the west differs so drastically from japan : One spends the first half pleasuring the pixelated lady with a variety of toys, whilst the other rapidly turns her into a kebab.
/just stereotyping
 
2012-12-30 05:10:01 PM  

stryed: Funny...I thought those devices were only used in Japan ( according to my research).
It's strange how most commonly found porn in the west differs so drastically from japan : One spends the first half pleasuring the pixelated lady with a variety of toys, whilst the other rapidly turns her into a kebab.
/just stereotyping


What really interests me is the cultural impact on the noises women make during sex. 99% of Japanese women in porn make the most godawful whiny noises and sound like they are farking terrified of being farked. EI EI EINH EI EEIN It sounds so fake.. because it is. I really don't get it.
 
2012-12-30 05:36:24 PM  

lewismarktwo: stryed: Funny...I thought those devices were only used in Japan ( according to my research).
It's strange how most commonly found porn in the west differs so drastically from japan : One spends the first half pleasuring the pixelated lady with a variety of toys, whilst the other rapidly turns her into a kebab.
/just stereotyping

What really interests me is the cultural impact on the noises women make during sex. 99% of Japanese women in porn make the most godawful whiny noises and sound like they are farking terrified of being farked. EI EI EINH EI EEIN It sounds so fake.. because it is. I really don't get it.


Yeah. Japanese chicks are some of the best shiat to lay your eyes on, but the sounds and pixelated bits makes me want to get all Newtowny.
 
2012-12-30 05:51:34 PM  

Mawson of the Antarctic: Wow, you don't need a minor in Linguistic Psychology to realize that she's narcissistic and starts every other sentence with "I" this and "I" that. I don't know what went on with the boyfriend, but it sounds suffocating if one were to be with her.


But you apparently do need that minor degree if you want to realize the difference between narcissism and a diary-like blog post. "Gee, everyone writes a lot of I this and I that in their diary, they must all be narcissistic. And I saw someone display a minor sign of lacking empathy, they must be sociopaths."
 
2012-12-30 06:14:23 PM  

lewismarktwo: stryed: Funny...I thought those devices were only used in Japan ( according to my research).
It's strange how most commonly found porn in the west differs so drastically from japan : One spends the first half pleasuring the pixelated lady with a variety of toys, whilst the other rapidly turns her into a kebab.
/just stereotyping

What really interests me is the cultural impact on the noises women make during sex. 99% of Japanese women in porn make the most godawful whiny noises and sound like they are farking terrified of being farked. EI EI EINH EI EEIN It sounds so fake.. because it is. I really don't get it.


Japanese porn seems to assume that what would most turn me on is molesting a terrified, retarded teenager who despite being terrified is overwhelmed with sexual feelings that confuse her because she doesn't know what they are or why you've taken her clothes off. Also, whenever someone puts their mouth on someone else, it should sound like they're slurping a hot bowl of noodles.
 
2012-12-30 07:20:39 PM  

I. R. Rottweiler: It's going to be hard to find a woman who's only 4' 6"...


Well, we all need someone to look up to...
 
2012-12-30 08:30:37 PM  

lewismarktwo: stryed: Funny...I thought those devices were only used in Japan ( according to my research).
It's strange how most commonly found porn in the west differs so drastically from japan : One spends the first half pleasuring the pixelated lady with a variety of toys, whilst the other rapidly turns her into a kebab.
/just stereotyping

What really interests me is the cultural impact on the noises women make during sex. 99% of Japanese women in porn make the most godawful whiny noises and sound like they are farking terrified of being farked. EI EI EINH EI EEIN It sounds so fake.. because it is. I really don't get it.


True, but the same can be said for " fark, fark yeah" pause " fark!" , and then it goes to anal...butt, as for the cultural impact, it,mainly involves in people having sex with loud music on, i guess.

A middle ground has to be found, even though pornopgrahy isnt a correct portrayal of real life : men should do their best to please even if it involves japanese tech, and the ladies more open, outgoing and willing to return the favor with slurpiness. Amen and awomen!
 
2012-12-30 09:02:00 PM  

kbotc: Mock26: Cyber_Junk: tbhouston: Sounds like he has a tiny penis..no women ive been with has needed a robot to make her come

1/10 too falsely arrogant to be real

/Hitachi is a great and wonderful device

//not a chick

I once dated a girl who owned a Hitachi. When she brought that out I knew that I needed to make a pot of coffee because the next 6 hours were going to be very exhausting. And incredibly fun!!!!!

/Not a chick, too.
//Any guy who does not own toys is an idiot in my book.

Depends on each and every person... My lady HATES toys. I keep trying, but it never helps as much as a glass of red wine...


Red wine can be a toy, too!
 
2012-12-30 09:30:34 PM  
Sex toys are just a woman's equivalent of porn, which I don't have a problem with so long as she's not one of those women who uses a sex toy when her guy is away, yet gets all bent out of shape if the guy watches some porn to rub one out.

Men are more visually stimulated, whereas with women it tends to be more mental and physical.  If using a vibrating toy worked on guys there would be no porn.
 
2012-12-30 11:55:19 PM  
Fark, I am disappoint. HBO made a video of her masturbating for their "Real Sex" series, and there has been not one link to said video.

/Hit Google, couldn't find.
//211 comments, not one person with better search skills than I?
 
2012-12-31 09:18:12 AM  
As long as I can watch, I'm cool with it
 
2012-12-31 10:05:48 AM  

desertfool: Fark, I am disappoint. HBO made a video of her masturbating for their "Real Sex" series, and there has been not one link to said video.

/Hit Google, couldn't find.
//211 comments, not one person with better search skills than I?


She writes about it here, it was a group masturbate-a-thon.
The company talks about it here.
...And here's the video, 100% NSFW. It's an unfetchable url, so you have to copy and paste the text.
http://xhamster.com/movies/1244054/female_mastur_baton.html
 
2012-12-31 11:30:52 AM  

thisone: ExperianScaresCthulhu: CreamFilling: gadian: If she wants to have alone time with the vibe, she needs to find a partner more amiable to this desire.

If she wants alone time, she shouldn't do it at his place.  That has nothing to do with sexual needs, and everything to do with being self centered.  I can guarantee you that if he bought a PS3 for her place so he could play Madden and ignore her she would have a problem with that.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^6

and y'all know she doesn't own a PS3 or play video games, how?


games require cooperation. this biatch is all about herself.
 
2012-12-31 11:33:26 AM  

kvinesknows: Limeyluv: kvinesknows: Vibrators helped me to get my wife to the place in our relationship where she will be getting a MFM and I a FMF New years eve in the same room at the same time and its also our first chance at both being bare back... and you god damn rights I will be using her vibrators on th oher women and then later on her as she farks me with all that cum pouring out of her

I hope your playmates are more experienced than you sound because sharing sex toys is a very unsanitary practice, no matter if everyone is DDF. Our parties are always bring-your-own or we have packaged toys as party favours.
It's not just STDs to consider. Please play responsibly.


pfft.


Limey's right, though. Be safe, dude.
 
2012-12-31 11:38:03 AM  

Earguy: http://xhamster.com/movies/1244054/female_mastur_baton.html


That was not sexy. Guess dudes would like it, though. Lots of female parts on display. i don't know what the point of that was, though.
 
2012-12-31 12:52:56 PM  

signaljammer: She don' need me -- jus' batteries!


You're only the first of 8 people to say the same thing, but since no one pointed it out, I wanted to make sure everyone realizes that this particular vibrator plugs into the farking wall. It's that strong.
 
2012-12-31 01:15:11 PM  

ExperianScaresCthulhu: kvinesknows: Limeyluv: kvinesknows: Vibrators helped me to get my wife to the place in our relationship where she will be getting a MFM and I a FMF New years eve in the same room at the same time and its also our first chance at both being bare back... and you god damn rights I will be using her vibrators on th oher women and then later on her as she farks me with all that cum pouring out of her

I hope your playmates are more experienced than you sound because sharing sex toys is a very unsanitary practice, no matter if everyone is DDF. Our parties are always bring-your-own or we have packaged toys as party favours.
It's not just STDs to consider. Please play responsibly.


pfft.

Limey's right, though. Be safe, dude.


nuts to that.
 
2012-12-31 01:58:43 PM  

ExperianScaresCthulhu: Earguy: http://xhamster.com/movies/1244054/female_mastur_baton.html

That was not sexy. Guess dudes would like it, though. Lots of female parts on display. i don't know what the point of that was, though.


It was not particularly enjoyable. Many of the parts were nice but how can it be a true masterbate a thon if it only has chicks? Where are the dudes pumping out loads for the cause? It looks more like a lesbian group attention whore a thon to me.
 
2012-12-31 02:51:53 PM  
I call bullshiat. The guy works for a sex toy company!? I am sorry, but he is either gay, or a misogynast. Any guy that loves sex, loves his women, and loves sex with his women would never discourage her from thinking about sex more.
 
2012-12-31 04:15:22 PM  

Benjimin_Dover: ExperianScaresCthulhu: Earguy: http://xhamster.com/movies/1244054/female_mastur_baton.html

That was not sexy. Guess dudes would like it, though. Lots of female parts on display. i don't know what the point of that was, though.

It was not particularly enjoyable. Many of the parts were nice but how can it be a true masterbate a thon if it only has chicks? Where are the dudes pumping out loads for the cause? It looks more like a lesbian group attention whore a thon to me.


It was horrible. /has penis
 
2012-12-31 09:02:48 PM  

lewismarktwo: Benjimin_Dover: ExperianScaresCthulhu: Earguy: http://xhamster.com/movies/1244054/female_mastur_baton.html

That was not sexy. Guess dudes would like it, though. Lots of female parts on display. i don't know what the point of that was, though.

It was not particularly enjoyable. Many of the parts were nice but how can it be a true masterbate a thon if it only has chicks? Where are the dudes pumping out loads for the cause? It looks more like a lesbian group attention whore a thon to me.

It was horrible. /has penis


Thanks for finding it, Earguy! It's an HBO "Real Sex" episode, so it isn't the normal long haired hippies using their chakras for entertainment, but it is what it is. Earguy at least restored my faith in the power of Fark.
 
Displayed 23 of 223 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report