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(Salon)   "Vibrators ruined my sex life." Definitely nothing to buzz about   (salon.com) divider line 223
    More: Silly, Hitachi  
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24974 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Dec 2012 at 1:14 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-30 03:10:26 AM  
I can understand how she feels. My wife went into a hissy hit after I ordered my 10th blowup doll Shirly big lips.
 
2012-12-30 03:11:03 AM  

CreamFilling: White_Scarf_Syndrome: Gunther: White_Scarf_Syndrome: Didn't read.

Anyone else get in the habit of putting anyone who makes long comments without reading the article on ignore?

I mean, I figure if they're arrogant enough that they feel they just HAVE to share their wisdom with all of us, yet can't be bothered reading the article the other comments, there's pretty much a 100% chance you're dealing with an uninformed incurious douchebag who's never gonna say anything of interest anyway.

You mad bro?

Didn't read it right away because I know what to expect...A fluffy stupid Salon article.

So use the ignore button, why biatch about it publicly? What have you contributed here? People like to talk about sex, me particularly. Someone got something out of my comment. Sorry you didn't.

Yeah yeah this is fark. I am sorry you didn't like my comments. No big deal though. Cheers! *clink*

I think his point was that this is a space for discussing the article, and for you to come in, report that you didn't read the article, then post a monologue because it's something you like talking about is out of line.  He's right, frankly.  It happens all the time and it's rarely a big deal, but don't be surprised if some people don't like it.


No. this is about you. Several of us know this.
 
2012-12-30 03:12:58 AM  
Hitachi Magic Wands have more attachments than a Swiss Army Knife.
You can get them from Amazon, the company that ships your product with a smile on the box.
 
2012-12-30 03:13:39 AM  
t2.gstatic.com
 
2012-12-30 03:13:59 AM  
 
2012-12-30 03:14:37 AM  

libranoelrose: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: libranoelrose: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I don't think I've ever dated a woman who had any kind of dildo or vibrator. I don't know if that's odd or not, or maybe it's just an older woman thing?

What do you consider old?

Not "old", that was a poor choice of words. But I mean like, 30's+ I guess. I'm 31, and have so far only dated women in their teens and twenties.

You sound ancient, dude.


:( I'm young at heart
 
2012-12-30 03:19:43 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: libranoelrose: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I don't think I've ever dated a woman who had any kind of dildo or vibrator. I don't know if that's odd or not, or maybe it's just an older woman thing?

What do you consider old?

Not "old", that was a poor choice of words. But I mean like, 30's+ I guess. I'm 31, and have so far only dated women in their teens and twenties.


Then they probably have them but aren't comfortable enough with themselves/you to admit to using/owning them.
 
2012-12-30 03:20:39 AM  

david_gaithersburg: TheSwizz: She sounds ugl...damn.

.
Don't stick your dick in crazy. Link


Not to mention the fact that every farking article she writes has "I AM A SEX WRITER!! DID I SAY THAT I AM A SEX WRITER????"

This woman is the last person who should be commenting on what people do or do not do.
 
2012-12-30 03:30:19 AM  
cs305604.userapi.com

Allo love
 
2012-12-30 03:32:44 AM  
harry.enzoverder.be

Go Pinky! Go Stinky! Go Jamal!
 
2012-12-30 03:34:43 AM  
(sees headline and source)

"Oh, Christ, ten bucks says this is Rachel Kramer Bussel."

(opens link)

"KNEW IT!!!"

/met her a couple times due to stuff I do in the real world
//she's a farking lunatic
///emphasis on lunatic
 
2012-12-30 03:34:56 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2012-12-30 03:35:20 AM  
img824.imageshack.us
 
2012-12-30 03:35:37 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Couple of jerk-offs...


That was bad and you should feel bad.

And you should feel worse for making me laugh my ass off.
 
2012-12-30 03:37:43 AM  
Scanned, didn't need to read....there's nothing like the real thing!
 
2012-12-30 03:50:39 AM  
After reading the article, I can safely say that it isn't the vibrator that's ruining this whore's relationship.
 
2012-12-30 03:50:42 AM  

White_Scarf_Syndrome: Didn't read.

Currently only break out rabbit schlong when she feels like getting some DP action. I love it because usually that means I'm goin back door.
The sex is the best out of the 30 or so women I've had. I'm 32. It's uncanny and we can time it to finish at the same time, pretty much every time. We end up like two dogs stuck together. I'll pull out and she's writhing around, shaking...the whole bit. I can't even touch her or else I'll get smacked. Too sensitive at that point. It's awesome. I'm single and well, my first borns mom and I don't feel like dating or doing anyone else. Eff that noise.

NOW.

I was dating a girl that had "a little dolphin friend." Maybe some of you ladies know what I'm talking about. Now, I could never make her finish just by penetration like I could with the aforementioned girl. She always had to break out her little dolphin friend. Personally, I loved it. I get a lot of excitement out of making sure a girl finishes. I have very good self control and can stop just short of the edge all night if I really wanted. It was a lot of fun being inside and watching her concentrate and making her little dolphin friend do the right thing. Never once was I insulted by this. It also provided a little stimulation for me down there too so I had to pull out occasionally as it would put me over the edge. Eventually, I knew she was about to drop off the edge and I'd go full on, timing it just right.

If this guy wasn't such a god damn insecure little pussy he could be timing it to finish each time, in the pooper. And THAT, my friends, is what makes a good sex life. Err, not anal, but finishing at the same time.

At the same time. I can't stress this enough. Do you wanna know my idiotic theory about why it works so well with the shiattiest girlfriend I ever had but also the best sex ever and also my kids Mom? Our height difference is 6" exactly. This is my exact penis length. There, that's it. Also my schlong is a little skinny so I'm not bragging at all.

Find your schlong length, get a girl exactly that many inches shorter than you. Report back to me on this theory. I know there are some Studman69's out there willing to put out an ad for exact height requirements in women.

Wow, I REALLY didn't read the article.

Thanks for listening and how YOU doin?


That explains why I like.midget porn so much. Height difference between me an a dwarf....
 
2012-12-30 03:52:41 AM  

Robert Poopsmith: Plug in vibrators cause global warming by wasting electricity friction.

 
2012-12-30 03:52:51 AM  

there their theyre: That explains why I like.midget porn so much. Height difference between me an a dwarf....



you are doing it wrong
 
2012-12-30 04:08:08 AM  
I bought my girlfriend (now-wife) a vibrator about six years ago. I don't give her much chance to wish to use it.

Dude has maaaajor S/E problems.

//vibrators have many uses
//that is all
 
2012-12-30 04:09:27 AM  

quickdraw: See heres the thing. Most women can have way more than one orgasm so you may as well get that first one out of the way asap. The rest just kind of come tumbling out once you get that first one to cut loose.

So buzz her silly and then enjoy the ride.


So can I. No refractory period FTW.
 
2012-12-30 04:09:43 AM  
Feelings, sensations that you thought were dead
No squealing, remember
(that it's all in your head)
 
2012-12-30 04:10:42 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: libranoelrose: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I don't think I've ever dated a woman who had any kind of dildo or vibrator. I don't know if that's odd or not, or maybe it's just an older woman thing?

What do you consider old?

Not "old", that was a poor choice of words. But I mean like, 30's+ I guess. I'm 31, and have so far only dated women in their teens and twenties.


I've dated women in their 20s and 40s. The women in their 20s all have toys to pleasure themselves. The women in their 40s don't, and prefer it that way for reasons that this article doesn't say but does seem to insinuate(that she puts the vibrator over her boyfriend, enough for him to be pissed off about it)
 
2012-12-30 04:18:21 AM  

bhcompy: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: libranoelrose: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I don't think I've ever dated a woman who had any kind of dildo or vibrator. I don't know if that's odd or not, or maybe it's just an older woman thing?

What do you consider old?

Not "old", that was a poor choice of words. But I mean like, 30's+ I guess. I'm 31, and have so far only dated women in their teens and twenties.

I've dated women in their 20s and 40s. The women in their 20s all have toys to pleasure themselves. The women in their 40s don't, and prefer it that way for reasons that this article doesn't say but does seem to insinuate(that she puts the vibrator over her boyfriend, enough for him to be pissed off about it)


There you go. The younger women don't have the sexual hang-ups. Or worries about their boyfriends with hang-ups getting hung-up about it.

It's already been said, but again: few women are able to have vaginal-stimulation-only orgasms. Most require a bit of help. Why would that bother a person?

My wife's ex got offended when she tried to masturbate to orgasm during sex. I could never understand that; it's sexy as hell.
 
2012-12-30 04:26:11 AM  
Right direction
 
2012-12-30 04:32:30 AM  

aagrajag: bhcompy: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: libranoelrose: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I don't think I've ever dated a woman who had any kind of dildo or vibrator. I don't know if that's odd or not, or maybe it's just an older woman thing?

What do you consider old?

Not "old", that was a poor choice of words. But I mean like, 30's+ I guess. I'm 31, and have so far only dated women in their teens and twenties.

I've dated women in their 20s and 40s. The women in their 20s all have toys to pleasure themselves. The women in their 40s don't, and prefer it that way for reasons that this article doesn't say but does seem to insinuate(that she puts the vibrator over her boyfriend, enough for him to be pissed off about it)

There you go. The younger women don't have the sexual hang-ups. Or worries about their boyfriends with hang-ups getting hung-up about it.

It's already been said, but again: few women are able to have vaginal-stimulation-only orgasms. Most require a bit of help. Why would that bother a person?

My wife's ex got offended when she tried to masturbate to orgasm during sex. I could never understand that; it's sexy as hell.


THIS.

If the penetration doesn't work, let her augment it how she likes, and play around with your stuff in or around there.

Then again, I still can't give her up, because the penetration is that good.

This is definitely a NSFW thread.

No Farkettes. It's a Saturday night and they aren't posting their sexual exploits on Fark, like me...others.

Well shiat.
 
2012-12-30 04:34:40 AM  

Atomic Spunk: Mock26: tbhouston: Sounds like he has a tiny penis..no women ive been with has needed a robot to make her come

Sounds like you are the one with the tiny penis.

I'm puzzled why you think having a tiny penis is some sort of insult.

/has a tiny penis
//was able to convince a lot of otherwise reluctant women to try anal


Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I've had that conversation.

//my wife's nickname for me is "Hammer-Dick"
//I ain't bragging, 'cause it ain't a good thing
 
2012-12-30 04:46:02 AM  

White_Scarf_Syndrome: aagrajag: bhcompy: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: libranoelrose: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I don't think I've ever dated a woman who had any kind of dildo or vibrator. I don't know if that's odd or not, or maybe it's just an older woman thing?

What do you consider old?

Not "old", that was a poor choice of words. But I mean like, 30's+ I guess. I'm 31, and have so far only dated women in their teens and twenties.

I've dated women in their 20s and 40s. The women in their 20s all have toys to pleasure themselves. The women in their 40s don't, and prefer it that way for reasons that this article doesn't say but does seem to insinuate(that she puts the vibrator over her boyfriend, enough for him to be pissed off about it)

There you go. The younger women don't have the sexual hang-ups. Or worries about their boyfriends with hang-ups getting hung-up about it.

It's already been said, but again: few women are able to have vaginal-stimulation-only orgasms. Most require a bit of help. Why would that bother a person?

My wife's ex got offended when she tried to masturbate to orgasm during sex. I could never understand that; it's sexy as hell.

THIS.

If the penetration doesn't work, let her augment it how she likes, and play around with your stuff in or around there.

Then again, I still can't give her up, because the penetration is that good.

This is definitely a NSFW thread.

No Farkettes. It's a Saturday night and they aren't posting their sexual exploits on Fark, like me...others.

Well shiat.


There are other ways to provide stimulation than penis to vagina interfacing... regardless, I wasn't talking about just getting something for when pickings are slim, rather preferring that toy over your partner(which is emasculating for the man and can affect the woman as well). The girl in this article... well, she sounds like she fits that group.
 
2012-12-30 04:57:19 AM  
He should buy a fleshlight or something and just leave it laying out the next time she comes over. Just to see how she reacts.
 
2012-12-30 05:02:59 AM  

Spartan_Manhandler: [imageshack.us image 640x412]

Obligatory.


Is it weird I was waiting for THIS?
 
2012-12-30 05:03:32 AM  
I've dated several women, and ages 18-38 they've all had toys. Sometimes they'd use them, sometimes not. Mrs Tooba has a toy, but really only uses it when we are apart, or when we are pressed for time (appointment, dinnerdate, kids downstairs playing etc. We are comfortable with each other, so I care not if there is an addition to sexy time.
 
2012-12-30 05:07:02 AM  

libranoelrose: Right direction


Done Right.
img547.imageshack.us
 
2012-12-30 05:11:02 AM  
Replace 'vibrator' with '5TB of fetish porn' and reverse the genders and the story would be seen in an entirely different light.
 
2012-12-30 05:15:03 AM  
img826.imageshack.us Hello, Kitty.
 
2012-12-30 05:52:33 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: libranoelrose: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I don't think I've ever dated a woman who had any kind of dildo or vibrator. I don't know if that's odd or not, or maybe it's just an older woman thing?

What do you consider old?

Not "old", that was a poor choice of words. But I mean like, 30's+ I guess. I'm 31, and have so far only dated women in their teens and twenties.


I didn't buy my first vibe until I was 26 or so. Thinking about it, it basically came down to availability. The sex-shops in my local area were seriously gross/creepy places, very male-orientated, definitely not somewhere I'd walk into alone. (And the time I went in with a boyfriend, some guys mistook me for one of the peep-show girls, and I had to drag him back out again to prevent a fight.) Also, I was living with the parents while I finished uni, and didn't have my own credit card, so mail-order would've required a horribly awkward coversation with the folks (urghh!). In the end, I purchased my first one at a sex-toy party (like tupperware, but for toys).

So I guess older = better finances and access?
 
2012-12-30 05:54:47 AM  
A must read:
http://yourbrainonporn.com/vibrators- and-other-pleasures-when-moderat i on-fails

I've given up on masturbating to porn and my sex life has never been better. Whether that will work for other men and women with vibrators, I won't say but reading about the whole reward circuitry of the brain was fascinating and enlightening. It's something the sex writer should inform herself on.
 
2012-12-30 05:56:28 AM  
I'm definitely the one-and-done type, and it doesn't take long at all. I also have a pretty low drive, so it's more fun if i save it up for the husband; we have a box of toys, but honestly, he gets a lot more use out of them than i do.


I think they're both being slightly ridiculous, but sometimes there is just a fundamental sexual incompatibility. Shake it off be friends again six months from now, and move on. Yeesh.
 
2012-12-30 05:59:27 AM  

D_Evans45: Vibrators are awesome, but they will never replace the stimulation/satisfaction most of us receive from some real good face-to-face sex. Think of them not as enemies, but pawns to be exploited on your way to sexual conquest. Incorporate it tactfully into the foreplay, and you can often increase your end gains substantially.

Also guys, you can receive intense pleasure from a vibrator, without fearing homosexual stigma. You can stimulate your prostate very easily without playing with your butt, merely applying vibration to the skin between your testicles and anus. It wouldnt be any gayer than sitting on the dryer and masturbating. To put it bluntly, apply vibration to your taint when you whack it next time, and youll have one of the best orgasms youve ever experienced. You have all kinds of pleasurable nerve endings down there that aren't stimulated through normal intercourse.

/Cue scene from Road Trip where the guy about to get probed says "Did I say 2 fingers? I meant 3"



No straight guy should ever place a toy in his a$&.
 
2012-12-30 06:04:42 AM  

Mid_mo_mad_man:

No straight guy should ever place a toy in his a$&.



I would wager to say that you are missing out.
 
2012-12-30 06:30:05 AM  
It's silly to think that vibrators could ruin one's sexual intimacy? Why is that silly?

That like saying it's silly that porn could ruin a man's sexual intimacy with his wife. Of course it could ruin his perception of what turns him on/etc.

I was with a woman for a few years.  Her vibrator was so strong that she admitted to not being able to get off as strongly when I was with her because the sensation wasn't nearly as strong.  Also, she said her clit was numbed and began to not feel as much pleasure afterwards.  These are real concerns that should awaken us all.  Just as too much porn should be frowned upon by society.
 
2012-12-30 06:33:28 AM  

Mid_mo_mad_man: D_Evans45: ...

No straight guy should ever place a toy in his a$&.



Notice I said "you dont have to play with your butt", I gave the " no putting something up your ass" disclaimer. As you are approaching climax next time you pleasure yourself, with your free hand, run your fingers lengthwise against your prostate through your perineum. Rub back and forth with a bit of pressure, you'll immediately notice a new source of pleasure you didn't know about before.

It cant possibly be gay if you are doing it with a woman, or thinking about a woman. Im currently with a "manly man," a big burly athletic guy, and he didn't hesitate for a second when he noticed how good it feels. Ive never moved for anal penetration either, just some firm upward back-forth pressure on the perineum as he approaches climax, usually during fellatio. He rubs his own perineum now, even when he masturbates.

I usually try it on most guys Im with whenever I date again, and they all love it. Ive had them freely admit that theyve gotten their new girlfriends to do it too. You guys got a big complex set of nerves up in there or something.
 
2012-12-30 06:41:16 AM  

D_Evans45: Mid_mo_mad_man: D_Evans45: ...

No straight guy should ever place a toy in his a$&.


Notice I said "you dont have to play with your butt", I gave the " no putting something up your ass" disclaimer. As you are approaching climax next time you pleasure yourself, with your free hand, run your fingers lengthwise against your prostate through your perineum. Rub back and forth with a bit of pressure, you'll immediately notice a new source of pleasure you didn't know about before.

It cant possibly be gay if you are doing it with a woman, or thinking about a woman. Im currently with a "manly man," a big burly athletic guy, and he didn't hesitate for a second when he noticed how good it feels. Ive never moved for anal penetration either, just some firm upward back-forth pressure on the perineum as he approaches climax, usually during fellatio. He rubs his own perineum now, even when he masturbates.

I usually try it on most guys Im with whenever I date again, and they all love it. Ive had them freely admit that theyve gotten their new girlfriends to do it too. You guys got a big complex set of nerves up in there or something.



Might have the lady in my life try that. Was worried you were trying to encourage "pegging". That will never happen to me.
 
2012-12-30 06:50:51 AM  

turtle553: Link

Here's a video of her talking, So you can make your own judgement on hotness and annoyance.


Krist, that beast is lucky to have a boyfriend at all.

/ I'm guessing she doesn't.
 
2012-12-30 07:05:28 AM  
Vibrators helped me to get my wife to the place in our relationship where she will be getting a MFM and I a FMF New years eve in the same room at the same time and its also our first chance at both being bare back... and you god damn rights I will be using her vibrators on th oher women and then later on her as she farks me with all that cum pouring out of her
 
2012-12-30 07:22:03 AM  

kvinesknows: Vibrators helped me to get my wife to the place in our relationship where she will be getting a MFM and I a FMF New years eve in the same room at the same time and its also our first chance at both being bare back... and you god damn rights I will be using her vibrators on th oher women and then later on her as she farks me with all that cum pouring out of her


i94.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-30 07:22:06 AM  
Guy sounds like a total loser.
 
2012-12-30 07:28:48 AM  
Kazan [TotalFark] 2012-12-30 01:02:57 AM
.../challenging lovers are a pain in the ass.


Thank you for saying this.
You may have just changed my life.
 
2012-12-30 07:50:20 AM  
AustinFakir 2012-12-30 01:30:51 AM

Stupid objections are usually based on something deeper.kbotc: HotWingAgenda: "It's not that I think you're going to leave me for your Hitachi," he told me, "but there's a caveman part of me that thinks, I should be able to satisfy you. You shouldn't need a magic stick."

This article was entirely unnecessary if she already had the answer. He was probably fine with her having a whole Santa's workshop at her place, but buying one just to store at his place is an insult. How would a girl feel about a guy having a blowup doll delivered to her apartment?

Yea... Why not just get a Wee-Vibe or something? I'm going to think she's quite selfish in bed and that's become the point of contention, not the vibe habit.

Spot on. Stupid-sounding objections from otherwise reasonable people are usually based on keen observations that they don't know how to articulate. This guy is feeling superfluous in bed, and he's probably right. Speaking as a very experienced employee who has been laid off more than once, when you know your employer can do just fine without you, you'd better be looking for another job, because you could be laid off at any moment. There won't be any more warning signs than that single one, which is knowing that you aren't needed.


This is so wrong and, especially from a woman's point of view, at least mine anyway, makes absolutely no sense.

A woman in a relationship is not an employer, even though men are always on the lookout for any way a woman might be trying to be the "boss". It also seems to me that a lot of the foundation for relationship problems these days stem from men not evolving from being needed to simply being wanted.

Women's survival and fulfillment is no longer dependent on finding one individual man to offer them protection. Women can take care of themselves: Financially, emotionally, physically and yes, that includes sexually. A lot men find this daunting and intimidating because it puts her on an equal footing, which, to them, is the same as letting a woman take the reins altogether.

When your relationship becomes an issue of "do I control my woman" versus "do we love each other and are we still best at complimenting and fulfilling each others needs," that is the warning sign that you are about to be let go, not some arbitrary notion of need.

Her boyfriend was taking the step of controlling how she gets off, even in a small fashion. He needed reassurance that he wasn't being replaced, and she needed reassurance that she wasn't being controlled. That they could communicate their emotional issues, recognize them for what they truly meant, and that they both got what they wanted in the end shows their relationship is strong and working.
 
2012-12-30 08:00:59 AM  
See, I've always not only been okay with it, but I LIKE it when a girl leaves her toys at my house. It's hot to watch, and in many cases I'm better with it on her than she is! It's the nature of the beast. We're men; we shouldn't feel threatened. Take that which scares you and turn it into your advantage. Like you're the Batman of sex. You could even dress up.
 
2012-12-30 08:15:26 AM  
Remember, a woman can own more vibrators than the best pron shop in town sells and shes not a whore, but if I guy owns a pocket pussy he is like a serial rapist level perv amIdoingitrite?
 
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