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(Salon)   "Vibrators ruined my sex life." Definitely nothing to buzz about   (salon.com) divider line 223
    More: Silly, Hitachi  
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24972 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Dec 2012 at 1:14 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-30 12:07:09 AM  
"Do you even need me to come home anymore?" he asked.

Sounds like BF has self-esteem problems and is trying to guilt trip her. Or he was just having a shiatty day and was being a dick.


he preferred to hold off on masturbating when we were apart

Is it me or is that just plain weird?
 
2012-12-30 12:28:01 AM  
"It's not that I think you're going to leave me for your Hitachi," he told me, "but there's a caveman part of me that thinks, I should be able to satisfy you. You shouldn't need a magic stick."

This article was entirely unnecessary if she already had the answer.  He was probably fine with her having a whole Santa's workshop at her place, but buying one just to store at his place is an insult.  How would a girl feel about a guy having a blowup doll delivered to her apartment?
 
2012-12-30 12:35:25 AM  
Masturbation can ruin a relationship if there's a reason to ruin it.
 
2012-12-30 12:37:34 AM  

HotWingAgenda: "It's not that I think you're going to leave me for your Hitachi," he told me, "but there's a caveman part of me that thinks, I should be able to satisfy you. You shouldn't need a magic stick."

This article was entirely unnecessary if she already had the answer.  He was probably fine with her having a whole Santa's workshop at her place, but buying one just to store at his place is an insult.  How would a girl feel about a guy having a blowup doll delivered to her apartment?


As long as I dont have to clean it for him.
 
2012-12-30 12:40:32 AM  
See heres the thing. Most women can have way more than one orgasm so you may as well get that first one out of the way asap. The rest just kind of come tumbling out once you get that first one to cut loose.

So buzz her silly and then enjoy the ride.
 
2012-12-30 01:02:57 AM  

quickdraw: See heres the thing. Most women can have way more than one orgasm so you may as well get that first one out of the way asap. The rest just kind of come tumbling out once you get that first one to cut loose.

So buzz her silly and then enjoy the ride.


just as some women only want to have one - and are very particular about it.

/challenging lovers are a pain in the ass.
 
2012-12-30 01:14:19 AM  
Couple of jerk-offs...
 
2012-12-30 01:18:47 AM  

HotWingAgenda: "It's not that I think you're going to leave me for your Hitachi," he told me, "but there's a caveman part of me that thinks, I should be able to satisfy you. You shouldn't need a magic stick."

This article was entirely unnecessary if she already had the answer.  He was probably fine with her having a whole Santa's workshop at her place, but buying one just to store at his place is an insult.  How would a girl feel about a guy having a blowup doll delivered to her apartment?


Yea... Why not just get a Wee-Vibe or something? I'm going to think she's quite selfish in bed and that's become the point of contention, not the vibe habit.
 
2012-12-30 01:22:55 AM  
We have a hitachi.

She still wants to fark.

I guess that's the end of the story.
 
NFA
2012-12-30 01:25:48 AM  
God, when I read that drivel it make me want to gouge my eyes out.  WHO FARKING CARES IF YOU OWN A VIBRATOR!!!  Get over yourself already.  I'm guessing it's not your vibrator that's ruining her relationship...
 
2012-12-30 01:26:09 AM  
I bought one for my imaginary wife...
I think she's doing it wrong because it chips her teeth.
 
2012-12-30 01:27:09 AM  

fusillade762: he preferred to hold off on masturbating when we were apart

Is it me or is that just plain weird?


It's not just you. That is weird. It sounds like this dude had issues related to masturbation long before this farked up relationship began.
 
2012-12-30 01:28:26 AM  

fusillade762: Is it me or is that just plain weird?


Depending on the reason, that's pretty damn odd.
 
2012-12-30 01:29:21 AM  

kbotc: HotWingAgenda: "It's not that I think you're going to leave me for your Hitachi," he told me, "but there's a caveman part of me that thinks, I should be able to satisfy you. You shouldn't need a magic stick."

This article was entirely unnecessary if she already had the answer.  He was probably fine with her having a whole Santa's workshop at her place, but buying one just to store at his place is an insult.  How would a girl feel about a guy having a blowup doll delivered to her apartment?

Yea... Why not just get a Wee-Vibe or something? I'm going to think she's quite selfish in bed and that's become the point of contention, not the vibe habit.


I've spent long stretches at my boyfriend's place and never felt the need to leave a vibrator there.  I honestly don't see why she needs one JUST FOR HIS HOUSE.
 
2012-12-30 01:29:30 AM  
I don't see the problem of this woman having a vibrator at her BFs place. But if I knew the guy and that he had issues about this sort of thing then the mocking would be epic in length and intensity.
 
2012-12-30 01:30:51 AM  
Stupid objections are usually based on something deeper.

kbotc: HotWingAgenda: "It's not that I think you're going to leave me for your Hitachi," he told me, "but there's a caveman part of me that thinks, I should be able to satisfy you. You shouldn't need a magic stick."

This article was entirely unnecessary if she already had the answer.  He was probably fine with her having a whole Santa's workshop at her place, but buying one just to store at his place is an insult.  How would a girl feel about a guy having a blowup doll delivered to her apartment?

Yea... Why not just get a Wee-Vibe or something? I'm going to think she's quite selfish in bed and that's become the point of contention, not the vibe habit.


Spot on. Stupid-sounding objections from otherwise reasonable people are usually based on keen observations that they don't know how to articulate. This guy is feeling superfluous in bed, and he's probably right. Speaking as a very experienced employee who has been laid off more than once, when you know your employer can do just fine without you, you'd better be looking for another job, because you could be laid off at any moment. There won't be any more warning signs than that single one, which is knowing that you aren't needed.

Also, no matter how many ways they need you, if they don't need you sexually, it's time to move on. The author is on the verge of firing her boyfriend, but she doesn't realize it, and he does.
 
2012-12-30 01:31:29 AM  
It's not the vibrator, it's the boyfriend. Find someone more sexually compatible and you'll be happier. Not every dude is threatened by a magic stick. In fact, many long term couples have a toy box full of various buzzing, rotating, bubbling, and or stretchy devices.
 
2012-12-30 01:33:16 AM  
I invited myself to send a sex toy to my boyfriends apartment.

And then I told him about it.

He didn't like it, and immediately I put him in with troglodytes and cave men and people that hate sex and women.

And that's really a problem how he hates women and sex and I don't know what he's thinking but I know it's wrong (Betty Dodson told me so.)

Maybe he feels threatened, but if so that's not legitimate how he feels threatened, my needs come first. By the way, my name is RACHEL KRAMER BUSSEL and my boyfriend doesn't masturbate when we're apart. Isn't that cute? I sure do!

Nobody can tell someone else the "right" way to have sex - or to masturbate and so I told him over a course of many hours how wrong he was to hate women and hate sex and feel threatened.

Eventually, he agreed with me, and he told me he trusted me.

Puppies and Hearts!
 
2012-12-30 01:33:23 AM  
She don' need me -- jus' batteries!
 
2012-12-30 01:34:37 AM  
Come on, ladies:

Sure a vibrator, provided that you supply it with plenty of battery power, can certainly provide you with plenty of joie de vivre. However, would you not like to have an skilled lover who could whisper sweet nothings in your ear and make you laugh while, at the same time, be sensitive to your needs?
 
2012-12-30 01:35:24 AM  

darwinpolice: fusillade762: he preferred to hold off on masturbating when we were apart

Is it me or is that just plain weird?

It's not just you. That is weird. It sounds like this dude had issues related to masturbation long before this farked up relationship began.


Yep. Weird. That guy's got some issues. Probably imagines that she sits in a chair staring at a white wall any time she's alone at his place.
 
2012-12-30 01:36:42 AM  

Dialectic: Come on, ladies:

Sure a vibrator, provided that you supply it with plenty of battery power, can certainly provide you with plenty of joie de vivre. However, would you not like to have an skilled lover who could whisper sweet nothings in your ear and make you laugh while, at the same time, be sensitive to your needs?


Vibrators are fun, and certainly a great way to kick some stress.  I still prefer my awesome flesh and blood guy to a buzzing stick.
 
2012-12-30 01:37:25 AM  

PrivateCaboose: I've spent long stretches at my boyfriend's place and never felt the need to leave a vibrator there. I honestly don't see why she needs one JUST FOR HIS HOUSE.


It's like leaving a toothbrush.  Only for her clit.
 
2012-12-30 01:39:26 AM  

NFA: God, when I read that drivel it make me want to gouge my eyes out.  WHO FARKING CARES IF YOU OWN A VIBRATOR!!!  Get over yourself already.  I'm guessing it's not your vibrator that's ruining her relationship...


But she's a sex writer. She said so again and again. And she owns an arsenal of plastic Big Jim Slades.

/ boyfriend was probably hoping she bought herself a ball-gag
 
2012-12-30 01:40:10 AM  
Vibrators are awesome, but they will never replace the stimulation/satisfaction most of us receive from some real good face-to-face sex. Think of them not as enemies, but pawns to be exploited on your way to sexual conquest. Incorporate it tactfully into the foreplay, and you can often increase your end gains substantially.

Also guys, you can receive intense pleasure from a vibrator, without fearing homosexual stigma. You can stimulate your prostate very easily without playing with your butt, merely applying vibration to the skin between your testicles and anus. It wouldnt be any gayer than sitting on the dryer and masturbating. To put it bluntly, apply vibration to your taint when you whack it next time, and youll have one of the best orgasms youve ever experienced. You have all kinds of pleasurable nerve endings down there that aren't stimulated through normal intercourse.

/Cue scene from Road Trip where the guy about to get probed says "Did I say 2 fingers? I meant 3"
 
2012-12-30 01:40:17 AM  
Put it in his butt...

He'll... come around.

/Get it?!?!
 
2012-12-30 01:40:31 AM  
How did she get that thing up her butt?
 
2012-12-30 01:41:40 AM  

AustinFakir: Stupid objections are usually based on something deeper.


Silly editing error. Anyway, I stand by my statement that the boyfriend likely knows what he's talking about. Love doesn't survive lack of sexual dependency when you're young. Maybe when you're so goddamn old you can't imagine getting used to someone else, but not when you're young and vigorous. He's right to feel threatened by the vibrator if it is capable of replacing him, because the vibrator defines a baseline, commodity, McDonald's sexual experience. A man is an expensive artisanal sexual experience. An expensive artisanal sexual experience that can't beat McDonald's is going to go out of business. By her own account, he's a smart, open-minded fellow and would have no problem if the vibrator was just a cheap replacement for when he isn't available. He wouldn't object unless he really knew he was in danger of being replaced.
 
2012-12-30 01:42:00 AM  

gadian: It's not the vibrator, it's the boyfriend. Find someone more sexually compatible and you'll be happier. Not every dude is threatened by a magic stick. In fact, many long term couples have a toy box full of various buzzing, rotating, bubbling, and or stretchy devices.


It's one thing when the couple has that.  When just the woman does and she doesn't feel the need to include the boyfriend that's more of a problem than the vibrator itself.  Especially if she's buying a vibrator for her to use alone at his place, that's definitely a red flag.
 
2012-12-30 01:45:12 AM  
imageshack.us

Obligatory.
 
2012-12-30 01:48:28 AM  

CreamFilling: It's one thing when the couple has that. When just the woman does and she doesn't feel the need to include the boyfriend that's more of a problem than the vibrator itself. Especially if she's buying a vibrator for her to use alone at his place, that's definitely a red flag.


It's just a compatibility issue. Vibrator people need to stay with vibrator people and people who don't enjoy the...variety should stay with the people who get off in other ways. If she wants to have alone time with the vibe, she needs to find a partner more amiable to this desire. The boyfriend needs to find a woman who has different needs which don't include batteries. Maybe she could let him watch once and that could be a better start for them. Unless he's all "icky, vibrators, ewww" and then there is just no hope.
 
2012-12-30 01:50:00 AM  
Aye... there's the rub...
 
2012-12-30 01:51:55 AM  
Didn't read.

Currently only break out rabbit schlong when she feels like getting some DP action. I love it because usually that means I'm goin back door.
The sex is the best out of the 30 or so women I've had. I'm 32. It's uncanny and we can time it to finish at the same time, pretty much every time. We end up like two dogs stuck together. I'll pull out and she's writhing around, shaking...the whole bit. I can't even touch her or else I'll get smacked. Too sensitive at that point. It's awesome. I'm single and well, my first borns mom and I don't feel like dating or doing anyone else. Eff that noise.

NOW.

I was dating a girl that had "a little dolphin friend." Maybe some of you ladies know what I'm talking about. Now, I could never make her finish just by penetration like I could with the aforementioned girl. She always had to break out her little dolphin friend. Personally, I loved it. I get a lot of excitement out of making sure a girl finishes. I have very good self control and can stop just short of the edge all night if I really wanted. It was a lot of fun being inside and watching her concentrate and making her little dolphin friend do the right thing. Never once was I insulted by this. It also provided a little stimulation for me down there too so I had to pull out occasionally as it would put me over the edge. Eventually, I knew she was about to drop off the edge and I'd go full on, timing it just right.

If this guy wasn't such a god damn insecure little pussy he could be timing it to finish each time, in the pooper. And THAT, my friends, is what makes a good sex life. Err, not anal, but finishing at the same time.

At the same time. I can't stress this enough. Do you wanna know my idiotic theory about why it works so well with the shiattiest girlfriend I ever had but also the best sex ever and also my kids Mom? Our height difference is 6" exactly. This is my exact penis length. There, that's it. Also my schlong is a little skinny so I'm not bragging at all.

Find your schlong length, get a girl exactly that many inches shorter than you. Report back to me on this theory. I know there are some Studman69's out there willing to put out an ad for exact height requirements in women.

Wow, I REALLY didn't read the article.

Thanks for listening and how YOU doin?
 
2012-12-30 01:54:10 AM  

gadian: If she wants to have alone time with the vibe, she needs to find a partner more amiable to this desire.


If she wants alone time, she shouldn't do it at his place.  That has nothing to do with sexual needs, and everything to do with being self centered.  I can guarantee you that if he bought a PS3 for her place so he could play Madden and ignore her she would have a problem with that.
 
2012-12-30 01:57:47 AM  
Let him watch
Let him participate

Both big turn-ons for me.

and picts or it didn't happen please.
 
2012-12-30 01:59:35 AM  

PrivateCaboose: Dialectic: Come on, ladies:

Sure a vibrator, provided that you supply it with plenty of battery power, can certainly provide you with plenty of joie de vivre. However, would you not like to have an skilled lover who could whisper sweet nothings in your ear and make you laugh while, at the same time, be sensitive to your needs?

Vibrators are fun, and certainly a great way to kick some stress.  I still prefer my awesome flesh and blood guy to a buzzing stick.


This is basically what she says. It's for show. If it's a good match then nothing beats the real thing.

I think the author needs a new real penis to bone.
 
2012-12-30 01:59:40 AM  

White_Scarf_Syndrome: Didn't read.

Currently only break out rabbit schlong when she feels like getting some DP action. I love it because usually that means I'm goin back door.
The sex is the best out of the 30 or so women I've had. I'm 32. It's uncanny and we can time it to finish at the same time, pretty much every time. We end up like two dogs stuck together. I'll pull out and she's writhing around, shaking...the whole bit. I can't even touch her or else I'll get smacked. Too sensitive at that point. It's awesome. I'm single and well, my first borns mom and I don't feel like dating or doing anyone else. Eff that noise.

NOW.

I was dating a girl that had "a little dolphin friend." Maybe some of you ladies know what I'm talking about. Now, I could never make her finish just by penetration like I could with the aforementioned girl. She always had to break out her little dolphin friend. Personally, I loved it. I get a lot of excitement out of making sure a girl finishes. I have very good self control and can stop just short of the edge all night if I really wanted. It was a lot of fun being inside and watching her concentrate and making her little dolphin friend do the right thing. Never once was I insulted by this. It also provided a little stimulation for me down there too so I had to pull out occasionally as it would put me over the edge. Eventually, I knew she was about to drop off the edge and I'd go full on, timing it just right.

If this guy wasn't such a god damn insecure little pussy he could be timing it to finish each time, in the pooper. And THAT, my friends, is what makes a good sex life. Err, not anal, but finishing at the same time.

At the same time. I can't stress this enough. Do you wanna know my idiotic theory about why it works so well with the shiattiest girlfriend I ever had but also the best sex ever and also my kids Mom? Our height difference is 6" exactly. This is my exact penis length. There, that's it. Also my schlong is a little ski ...


Huh.  Bf's height difference and penis length is the same.  Coincidence?  Maybe.
 
2012-12-30 02:02:20 AM  
Sounds like he has a tiny penis..no women ive been with has needed a robot to make her come
 
2012-12-30 02:03:35 AM  
There's a reason these things come in various sizes and styles.
 
2012-12-30 02:03:55 AM  

White_Scarf_Syndrome: Didn't read.

Currently only break out rabbit schlong when she feels like getting some DP action. I love it because usually that means I'm goin back door.
The sex is the best out of the 30 or so women I've had. I'm 32. It's uncanny and we can time it to finish at the same time, pretty much every time. We end up like two dogs stuck together. I'll pull out and she's writhing around, shaking...the whole bit. I can't even touch her or else I'll get smacked. Too sensitive at that point. It's awesome. I'm single and well, my first borns mom and I don't feel like dating or doing anyone else. Eff that noise.

NOW.

I was dating a girl that had "a little dolphin friend." Maybe some of you ladies know what I'm talking about. Now, I could never make her finish just by penetration like I could with the aforementioned girl. She always had to break out her little dolphin friend. Personally, I loved it. I get a lot of excitement out of making sure a girl finishes. I have very good self control and can stop just short of the edge all night if I really wanted. It was a lot of fun being inside and watching her concentrate and making her little dolphin friend do the right thing. Never once was I insulted by this. It also provided a little stimulation for me down there too so I had to pull out occasionally as it would put me over the edge. Eventually, I knew she was about to drop off the edge and I'd go full on, timing it just right.

If this guy wasn't such a god damn insecure little pussy he could be timing it to finish each time, in the pooper. And THAT, my friends, is what makes a good sex life. Err, not anal, but finishing at the same time.

At the same time. I can't stress this enough. Do you wanna know my idiotic theory about why it works so well with the shiattiest girlfriend I ever had but also the best sex ever and also my kids Mom? Our height difference is 6" exactly. This is my exact penis length. There, that's it. Also my schlong is a little ski ...


global3.memecdn.com
 
2012-12-30 02:04:09 AM  

White_Scarf_Syndrome: Didn't read.


Anyone else get in the habit of putting anyone who makes long comments without reading the article on ignore?

I mean, I figure if they're arrogant enough that they feel they just HAVE to share their wisdom with all of us, yet can't be bothered reading the article the other comments, there's pretty much a 100% chance you're dealing with an uninformed incurious douchebag who's never gonna say anything of interest anyway.
 
2012-12-30 02:05:18 AM  
Which explains why the best sex ever was with a 4'11" woman.
I'm 6'3".
 
2012-12-30 02:05:24 AM  
Best vibrator ever made

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-30 02:05:30 AM  

tbhouston: Sounds like he has a tiny penis..no women ive been with has needed a robot to make her come


This post brought to you by the year 1950.
 
2012-12-30 02:05:32 AM  

Gunther: White_Scarf_Syndrome: Didn't read.

Anyone else get in the habit of putting anyone who makes long comments without reading the article on ignore?

I mean, I figure if they're arrogant enough that they feel they just HAVE to share their wisdom with all of us, yet can't be bothered reading the article the other comments, there's pretty much a 100% chance you're dealing with an uninformed incurious douchebag who's never gonna say anything of interest anyway.


I don't put anyone on my ignore list really - I just ignore them manually.
 
2012-12-30 02:05:46 AM  

quickdraw: HotWingAgenda: "It's not that I think you're going to leave me for your Hitachi," he told me, "but there's a caveman part of me that thinks, I should be able to satisfy you. You shouldn't need a magic stick."

This article was entirely unnecessary if she already had the answer.  He was probably fine with her having a whole Santa's workshop at her place, but buying one just to store at his place is an insult.  How would a girl feel about a guy having a blowup doll delivered to her apartment?

As long as I dont have to clean it for him.


How you doin?
 
2012-12-30 02:06:24 AM  

tbhouston: Sounds like he has a tiny penis..no women ive been with has needed a robot to make her come


1/10 too falsely arrogant to be real

/Hitachi is a great and wonderful device

//not a chick
 
2012-12-30 02:07:56 AM  
On topic: all but the most severe sex related objects are improved when your partner participates. Have him use the vibrator and if necessary lie and attribute the orgasm to him.

Problem solved.
 
2012-12-30 02:08:44 AM  
"Some of the best lovers I've had came to the bedroom with their own arsenal...? So she dates a lot of gay men.
 
2012-12-30 02:08:56 AM  
Maybe she was just using it wrong...

cs305911.userapi.com
 
2012-12-30 02:09:39 AM  

Gunther: White_Scarf_Syndrome: Didn't read.

Anyone else get in the habit of putting anyone who makes long comments without reading the article on ignore?

I mean, I figure if they're arrogant enough that they feel they just HAVE to share their wisdom with all of us, yet can't be bothered reading the article the other comments, there's pretty much a 100% chance you're dealing with an uninformed incurious douchebag who's never gonna say anything of interest anyway.


You mad bro?

Didn't read it right away because I know what to expect...A fluffy stupid Salon article.

So use the ignore button, why biatch about it publicly? What have you contributed here? People like to talk about sex, me particularly. Someone got something out of my comment. Sorry you didn't.

Yeah yeah this is fark. I am sorry you didn't like my comments. No big deal though. Cheers! *clink*
 
2012-12-30 02:10:12 AM  

PrivateCaboose: Huh. Bf's height difference and penis length is the same. Coincidence? Maybe.


Well, I'm 5'9" and my girlfriend is a flat 5'. Wish I could claim that the height difference there was equivalent to schlong length, but no it isn't.

Of course our relationship is a bit "non-traditional", shall we say? In the scheme of our relationship, the measurement of my wing-wong is mostly relevant for the fancy bit of locking metal she bought to put around it.

On a related note, a guy should only feel insulted that a woman wants to leave a vibrator at his place if she won't ever let him be the one holding it inside her. I'm not saying she won't have to take over when he inevitably doesn't "hit that spot quite right" the first few times, but honestly who gives a crap so long as you're the one she's doing the dirty with?

Besides, a large number of women can't even cum without a vibrator. I've met girls who thought the female orgasm was a myth until someone (in one very lucky case, me) got out the giant hummy thinger and proved them wrong.
 
2012-12-30 02:10:30 AM  
And if you don't like using batteries, here's a hand crank model...

img16.imageshack.us
 
2012-12-30 02:11:08 AM  

PrivateCaboose: Huh. Bf's height difference and penis length is the same. Coincidence? Maybe.


Or pretty average.  Try to draw a diagram of why it would make any difference in the least.  Unless your particular quirk is both of you doing headstands while the penis is exactly halfway inserted, it doesn't make any sense. If anything, it's contrary to logic.
 
2012-12-30 02:12:50 AM  
Tenga egg or Fleshlight?
 
2012-12-30 02:13:16 AM  
She's vibrator-dependent,
Don't want me in it,
Says I don't make the right noise...

(Yes, Ms. Bussel of Salon.com, I have a "Mojo Nixon" on Line 1. He says he's calling from 1989 and wants royalties.)

/No honey, you can't plug my toes into the wall.
//And I ain't gonna hum no more either.
 
2012-12-30 02:13:34 AM  
actually it sounds to me like her boyfriend just had a limit for how much she relied on her vibrators, and she crossed it. i'm sure most women out there are okay with their boyfriend watching porn, but if the boyfriend started watching porn during dinner and didn't even want to have sex anymore, then that would be too much. the chick in this article has a bunch of vibrators at her place, which the boyfriend is fine with, but now wants to store some at his apartment, and he said "no, that's too much." i see nothing wrong with this.
 
2012-12-30 02:14:59 AM  

CreamFilling: PrivateCaboose: Huh. Bf's height difference and penis length is the same. Coincidence? Maybe.

Or pretty average.  Try to draw a diagram of why it would make any difference in the least.  Unless your particular quirk is both of you doing headstands while the penis is exactly halfway inserted, it doesn't make any sense. If anything, it's contrary to logic.


I do agree. I just thought it was a funny coincidence while staring at the little notches in the doorway a few months ago.
 
2012-12-30 02:16:47 AM  

Gunther: White_Scarf_Syndrome: Didn't read.

Anyone else get in the habit of putting anyone who makes long comments without reading the article on ignore?

I mean, I figure if they're arrogant enough that they feel they just HAVE to share their wisdom with all of us, yet can't be bothered reading the article the other comments, there's pretty much a 100% chance you're dealing with an uninformed incurious douchebag who's never gonna say anything of interest anyway.


I just assumed it was copypasta. Copypasta is like an old friend, you read it just to say hello.
 
2012-12-30 02:18:00 AM  
His name is Bob. He does the job.
Battery Operated Boyfriend.
 
2012-12-30 02:18:54 AM  
Any guy who feels threatened by toys and does not instead incorporate them into his "routine" is a loser. I learned long ago that it takes a hell of a lot longer for most woman to orgasm than it does for me, and that afterwards I really do want to go just roll over and go to sleep. When I dated a girl who was into toys I realized that "I could now last longer than she could!" I guess I am lucky that I really do get off on seeing a woman get off, so if she is into toys then I give an internal "HURRAY!" and do everything in my power to make her the happiest person in the world while having sex. Because the happier she is the happier I am. Of course, there is the added benefit that the happier she is the less likely she is to say, "No." That is a very nice fringe benefit. So, guys, if you feel threatened by toys, get over yourself. Use them. They will make her happier and that will make you happier.
 
2012-12-30 02:19:08 AM  

tbhouston: Sounds like he has a tiny penis..no women ive been with has needed a robot to make her come


i.cdn.turner.com

/ smash the robuts!
 
2012-12-30 02:20:19 AM  

White_Scarf_Syndrome: Gunther: White_Scarf_Syndrome: Didn't read.

Anyone else get in the habit of putting anyone who makes long comments without reading the article on ignore?

I mean, I figure if they're arrogant enough that they feel they just HAVE to share their wisdom with all of us, yet can't be bothered reading the article the other comments, there's pretty much a 100% chance you're dealing with an uninformed incurious douchebag who's never gonna say anything of interest anyway.

You mad bro?

Didn't read it right away because I know what to expect...A fluffy stupid Salon article.

So use the ignore button, why biatch about it publicly? What have you contributed here? People like to talk about sex, me particularly. Someone got something out of my comment. Sorry you didn't.

Yeah yeah this is fark. I am sorry you didn't like my comments. No big deal though. Cheers! *clink*


I think his point was that this is a space for discussing the article, and for you to come in, report that you didn't read the article, then post a monologue because it's something you like talking about is out of line.  He's right, frankly.  It happens all the time and it's rarely a big deal, but don't be surprised if some people don't like it.
 
2012-12-30 02:20:44 AM  
She sounds ugl...damn.
 
2012-12-30 02:21:00 AM  
I think she has a broken sarcasm meter. That, or both of them are in serious need of getting laid, possibly with someone else, permanently.
 
2012-12-30 02:23:22 AM  

Cyber_Junk: tbhouston: Sounds like he has a tiny penis..no women ive been with has needed a robot to make her come

1/10 too falsely arrogant to be real

/Hitachi is a great and wonderful device

//not a chick


I once dated a girl who owned a Hitachi. When she brought that out I knew that I needed to make a pot of coffee because the next 6 hours were going to be very exhausting. And incredibly fun!!!!!

/Not a chick, too.
//Any guy who does not own toys is an idiot in my book.
 
2012-12-30 02:25:21 AM  
I think people are being a bit harsh on the boyfriend. He is, by account of the author, an open-minded and adventurous fellow.

My thought is that this really boils down to a major difference between the way this guy and his girlfriend experience sexual pleasure. For plenty of guys the main concern, the most important part of the sexual experience, is simply how his penis is being stimulated. Many (probably most) women don't see it that way with regard to their own erogenous bits; sex is inextricably confounded with the intimacy of foreplay and the feelings they have for the person they're doing it with, and sex without those things is simply not comparable to sex with them. But for someone whose principle pleasure during sex is the stimulation of his primary erogenous zones, a toy that is more mechanically proficient at it than he can ever hope to be might seem like more of a threat in his mind than it is in reality.
 
2012-12-30 02:25:42 AM  
Also, a good sex toy can also be used for home defense as a weapon:
newbreview.com

And since no one has done it...
www.nobodygoeshere.com
 
2012-12-30 02:25:46 AM  

tbhouston: Sounds like he has a tiny penis..no women ive been with has needed a robot to make her come


Sounds like you are the one with the tiny penis.
 
2012-12-30 02:26:32 AM  

TheSwizz: She sounds ugl...damn.


.
Don't stick your dick in crazy. Link
 
2012-12-30 02:28:16 AM  

Mock26: Cyber_Junk: tbhouston: Sounds like he has a tiny penis..no women ive been with has needed a robot to make her come

1/10 too falsely arrogant to be real

/Hitachi is a great and wonderful device

//not a chick

I once dated a girl who owned a Hitachi. When she brought that out I knew that I needed to make a pot of coffee because the next 6 hours were going to be very exhausting. And incredibly fun!!!!!

/Not a chick, too.
//Any guy who does not own toys is an idiot in my book.


Depends on each and every person... My lady HATES toys. I keep trying, but it never helps as much as a glass of red wine...
 
2012-12-30 02:29:03 AM  
"Womyn learns that men aren't raping robotic cavemen"
 
2012-12-30 02:29:52 AM  
No, no, writing an article about your boyfriend's insecurities and posting it online so other men to stage a manliest-man put down contest in the comment section will totes solve your problem.
 
2012-12-30 02:29:59 AM  

Spartan_Manhandler: [imageshack.us image 640x412]

Obligatory.


see that and raise you:
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-30 02:31:02 AM  

CreamFilling: White_Scarf_Syndrome: Gunther: White_Scarf_Syndrome: Didn't read.

Anyone else get in the habit of putting anyone who makes long comments without reading the article on ignore?

I mean, I figure if they're arrogant enough that they feel they just HAVE to share their wisdom with all of us, yet can't be bothered reading the article the other comments, there's pretty much a 100% chance you're dealing with an uninformed incurious douchebag who's never gonna say anything of interest anyway.

You mad bro?

Didn't read it right away because I know what to expect...A fluffy stupid Salon article.

So use the ignore button, why biatch about it publicly? What have you contributed here? People like to talk about sex, me particularly. Someone got something out of my comment. Sorry you didn't.

Yeah yeah this is fark. I am sorry you didn't like my comments. No big deal though. Cheers! *clink*

I think his point was that this is a space for discussing the article, and for you to come in, report that you didn't read the article, then post a monologue because it's something you like talking about is out of line.  He's right, frankly.  It happens all the time and it's rarely a big deal, but don't be surprised if some people don't like it.


I agree. I think everyone might be guilty at some point or another. Thanks for putting it in a more polite manner. Sometimes it's hard to define "out of line" around here, but I can see how my post was annoying. To be fair, I skimmed the 1st half, and read the comments up to mine.

Back to the article. The girl seems to have downplayed the only thing the guy got pissed about. Storing it at his place. Especially that one toy.

I don't know. I can understand where he's coming from, but after being inside and finishing at the same time with a woman I probably could give two shiats at that point. Maybe the guy just needs a break from all the damned toys everywhere? The kinky stuff is fun, but sometimes passionate "regular" style is really damn good too.

Someone else mentioned about a 1 orgasm only type lady. Maybe the author is like this. I'd think that if she got off, then she'd be much easier to get goin again that night without the use of the toy. Who knows. Tons of factors here. Maybe he's only a 1 orgasm a night type guy.
 
2012-12-30 02:31:29 AM  
Link

Here's a video of her talking, So you can make your own judgement on hotness and annoyance.
 
2012-12-30 02:32:04 AM  

God-is-a-Taco: "Womyn learns that men aren't raping robotic cavemen"


I suppose a comma would make that more legible. Oh well.
 
2012-12-30 02:34:03 AM  

david_gaithersburg: TheSwizz: She sounds ugl...damn.

.
Don't stick your dick in crazy. Link


"Ever since I quit my six-liter-a-day Diet Coke habit,"

I love Diet Coke, but JESUS FARKING CHRIST.
 
2012-12-30 02:35:21 AM  
Vibrators are not a replacement for men. Vibrators are for when you've been going at it long enough and you got a video game to get back to and she's still conscious.
 
2012-12-30 02:37:33 AM  

quickdraw: See heres the thing. Most women can have way more than one orgasm so you may as well get that first one out of the way asap. The rest just kind of come tumbling out once you get that first one to cut loose.

So buzz her silly and then enjoy the ride.


dl.dropbox.com
 
2012-12-30 02:37:50 AM  
And some people think Taylor Swift writing songs about their boyfriends is farked up.
 
2012-12-30 02:39:29 AM  

red5ish: And some people think Taylor Swift writing songs about their boyfriends is farked up.


Don't ruin this moment for me, please.
 
2012-12-30 02:42:49 AM  
a4.ec-images.myspacecdn.com

and battery operated devices it would appear...
 
2012-12-30 02:45:35 AM  

White_Scarf_Syndrome: Didn't read.

Currently only break out rabbit schlong when she feels like getting some DP action. I love it because usually that means I'm goin back door.
The sex is the best out of the 30 or so women I've had. I'm 32. It's uncanny and we can time it to finish at the same time, pretty much every time. We end up like two dogs stuck together. I'll pull out and she's writhing around, shaking...the whole bit. I can't even touch her or else I'll get smacked. Too sensitive at that point. It's awesome. I'm single and well, my first borns mom and I don't feel like dating or doing anyone else. Eff that noise.

NOW.

I was dating a girl that had "a little dolphin friend." Maybe some of you ladies know what I'm talking about. Now, I could never make her finish just by penetration like I could with the aforementioned girl. She always had to break out her little dolphin friend. Personally, I loved it. I get a lot of excitement out of making sure a girl finishes. I have very good self control and can stop just short of the edge all night if I really wanted. It was a lot of fun being inside and watching her concentrate and making her little dolphin friend do the right thing. Never once was I insulted by this. It also provided a little stimulation for me down there too so I had to pull out occasionally as it would put me over the edge. Eventually, I knew she was about to drop off the edge and I'd go full on, timing it just right.

If this guy wasn't such a god damn insecure little pussy he could be timing it to finish each time, in the pooper. And THAT, my friends, is what makes a good sex life. Err, not anal, but finishing at the same time.

At the same time. I can't stress this enough. Do you wanna know my idiotic theory about why it works so well with the shiattiest girlfriend I ever had but also the best sex ever and also my kids Mom? Our height difference is 6" exactly. This is my exact penis length. There, that's it. Also my schlong is a little skinny so I'm not bragging at all.

Find your schlong length, get a girl exactly that many inches shorter than you. Report back to me on this theory. I know there are some Studman69's out there willing to put out an ad for exact height requirements in women.

Wow, I REALLY didn't read the article.

Thanks for listening and how YOU doin?


Is it weird that I read this in David Lee Roth's voice?
 
2012-12-30 02:47:29 AM  

Satanic_Hamster: Also, a good sex toy can also be used for home defense as a weapon:
[newbreview.com image 630x400]

And since no one has done it...
[www.nobodygoeshere.com image 465x364]


Ha I read that in his voice.
 
2012-12-30 02:47:30 AM  

katzrc: Thanks for listening and how YOU doin?

Is it weird that I read this in David Lee Roth's voice?


Yes.

It should be Joey's.
 
2012-12-30 02:48:32 AM  
I don't think I've ever dated a woman who had any kind of dildo or vibrator. I don't know if that's odd or not, or maybe it's just an older woman thing?
 
2012-12-30 02:48:58 AM  

Amusement: Best vibrator ever made

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 640x480]


I asked my GF and she said that she would never let an Asian woman drive a motorcycle across her vagina.

So we will never know the answer to that statement, will we?
 
2012-12-30 02:49:33 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I don't think I've ever dated a woman who had any kind of dildo or vibrator. I don't know if that's odd or not, or maybe it's just an older woman thing?


What do you consider old?
 
2012-12-30 02:49:59 AM  

tbhouston: Sounds like he has a tiny penis..no women ive been with has needed a robot to make her come


She says when he holds it to pee with three fingers, he gets two wet.
 
2012-12-30 02:50:04 AM  
Plug in vibrators cause global warming by wasting electricity.
 
2012-12-30 02:52:46 AM  

libranoelrose: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I don't think I've ever dated a woman who had any kind of dildo or vibrator. I don't know if that's odd or not, or maybe it's just an older woman thing?

What do you consider old?


Not "old", that was a poor choice of words. But I mean like, 30's+ I guess. I'm 31, and have so far only dated women in their teens and twenties.
 
2012-12-30 02:53:49 AM  

Mock26: tbhouston: Sounds like he has a tiny penis..no women ive been with has needed a robot to make her come

Sounds like you are the one with the tiny penis.


I'm puzzled why you think having a tiny penis is some sort of insult.

/has a tiny penis
//was able to convince a lot of otherwise reluctant women to try anal
 
2012-12-30 02:54:19 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: libranoelrose: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I don't think I've ever dated a woman who had any kind of dildo or vibrator. I don't know if that's odd or not, or maybe it's just an older woman thing?

What do you consider old?

Not "old", that was a poor choice of words. But I mean like, 30's+ I guess. I'm 31, and have so far only dated women in their teens and twenties.


You sound ancient, dude.
 
2012-12-30 02:58:02 AM  

fusillade762: "Do you even need me to come home anymore?" he asked.

Sounds like BF has self-esteem problems and is trying to guilt trip her. Or he was just having a shiatty day and was being a dick.


he preferred to hold off on masturbating when we were apart

Is it me or is that just plain weird?


You're not wrong.
 
2012-12-30 02:58:58 AM  

quickdraw: See heres the thing. Most women can have way more than one orgasm so you may as well get that first one out of the way asap. The rest just kind of come tumbling out once you get that first one to cut loose.

So buzz her silly and then enjoy the ride.


Do you realize it's the same for men or do you just feel guilty?
 
2012-12-30 03:00:57 AM  

epoc_tnac: We have a hitachi.

She still wants to fark.

I guess that's the end of the story.


Yes. You are replaceable.
 
2012-12-30 03:03:29 AM  

White_Scarf_Syndrome: Didn't read.

Currently only break out rabbit schlong when she feels like getting some DP action. I love it because usually that means I'm goin back door.
The sex is the best out of the 30 or so women I've had. I'm 32. It's uncanny and we can time it to finish at the same time, pretty much every time. We end up like two dogs stuck together. I'll pull out and she's writhing around, shaking...the whole bit. I can't even touch her or else I'll get smacked. Too sensitive at that point. It's awesome. I'm single and well, my first borns mom and I don't feel like dating or doing anyone else. Eff that noise.

NOW.

I was dating a girl that had "a little dolphin friend." Maybe some of you ladies know what I'm talking about. Now, I could never make her finish just by penetration like I could with the aforementioned girl. She always had to break out her little dolphin friend. Personally, I loved it. I get a lot of excitement out of making sure a girl finishes. I have very good self control and can stop just short of the edge all night if I really wanted. It was a lot of fun being inside and watching her concentrate and making her little dolphin friend do the right thing. Never once was I insulted by this. It also provided a little stimulation for me down there too so I had to pull out occasionally as it would put me over the edge. Eventually, I knew she was about to drop off the edge and I'd go full on, timing it just right.

If this guy wasn't such a god damn insecure little pussy he could be timing it to finish each time, in the pooper. And THAT, my friends, is what makes a good sex life. Err, not anal, but finishing at the same time.

At the same time. I can't stress this enough. Do you wanna know my idiotic theory about why it works so well with the shiattiest girlfriend I ever had but also the best sex ever and also my kids Mom? Our height difference is 6" exactly. This is my exact penis length. There, that's it. Also my schlong is a little ski ...


Meh. You're still dealing with your less aged years. Fooling no one, you are.
 
2012-12-30 03:04:56 AM  

kbotc: Mock26: Cyber_Junk: tbhouston: Sounds like he has a tiny penis..no women ive been with has needed a robot to make her come

1/10 too falsely arrogant to be real

/Hitachi is a great and wonderful device

//not a chick

I once dated a girl who owned a Hitachi. When she brought that out I knew that I needed to make a pot of coffee because the next 6 hours were going to be very exhausting. And incredibly fun!!!!!

/Not a chick, too.
//Any guy who does not own toys is an idiot in my book.

Depends on each and every person... My lady HATES toys. I keep trying, but it never helps as much as a glass of red wine...


farking Catholics. Go figure.
 
2012-12-30 03:05:51 AM  

God-is-a-Taco: "Womyn learns that men aren't raping robotic cavemen"


All penatrative sex IS something that comes in a box weighint 40 lbs.
 
2012-12-30 03:10:26 AM  
I can understand how she feels. My wife went into a hissy hit after I ordered my 10th blowup doll Shirly big lips.
 
2012-12-30 03:11:03 AM  

CreamFilling: White_Scarf_Syndrome: Gunther: White_Scarf_Syndrome: Didn't read.

Anyone else get in the habit of putting anyone who makes long comments without reading the article on ignore?

I mean, I figure if they're arrogant enough that they feel they just HAVE to share their wisdom with all of us, yet can't be bothered reading the article the other comments, there's pretty much a 100% chance you're dealing with an uninformed incurious douchebag who's never gonna say anything of interest anyway.

You mad bro?

Didn't read it right away because I know what to expect...A fluffy stupid Salon article.

So use the ignore button, why biatch about it publicly? What have you contributed here? People like to talk about sex, me particularly. Someone got something out of my comment. Sorry you didn't.

Yeah yeah this is fark. I am sorry you didn't like my comments. No big deal though. Cheers! *clink*

I think his point was that this is a space for discussing the article, and for you to come in, report that you didn't read the article, then post a monologue because it's something you like talking about is out of line.  He's right, frankly.  It happens all the time and it's rarely a big deal, but don't be surprised if some people don't like it.


No. this is about you. Several of us know this.
 
2012-12-30 03:12:58 AM  
Hitachi Magic Wands have more attachments than a Swiss Army Knife.
You can get them from Amazon, the company that ships your product with a smile on the box.
 
2012-12-30 03:13:39 AM  
t2.gstatic.com
 
2012-12-30 03:13:59 AM  
 
2012-12-30 03:14:37 AM  

libranoelrose: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: libranoelrose: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I don't think I've ever dated a woman who had any kind of dildo or vibrator. I don't know if that's odd or not, or maybe it's just an older woman thing?

What do you consider old?

Not "old", that was a poor choice of words. But I mean like, 30's+ I guess. I'm 31, and have so far only dated women in their teens and twenties.

You sound ancient, dude.


:( I'm young at heart
 
2012-12-30 03:19:43 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: libranoelrose: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I don't think I've ever dated a woman who had any kind of dildo or vibrator. I don't know if that's odd or not, or maybe it's just an older woman thing?

What do you consider old?

Not "old", that was a poor choice of words. But I mean like, 30's+ I guess. I'm 31, and have so far only dated women in their teens and twenties.


Then they probably have them but aren't comfortable enough with themselves/you to admit to using/owning them.
 
2012-12-30 03:20:39 AM  

david_gaithersburg: TheSwizz: She sounds ugl...damn.

.
Don't stick your dick in crazy. Link


Not to mention the fact that every farking article she writes has "I AM A SEX WRITER!! DID I SAY THAT I AM A SEX WRITER????"

This woman is the last person who should be commenting on what people do or do not do.
 
2012-12-30 03:30:19 AM  
cs305604.userapi.com

Allo love
 
2012-12-30 03:32:44 AM  
harry.enzoverder.be

Go Pinky! Go Stinky! Go Jamal!
 
2012-12-30 03:34:43 AM  
(sees headline and source)

"Oh, Christ, ten bucks says this is Rachel Kramer Bussel."

(opens link)

"KNEW IT!!!"

/met her a couple times due to stuff I do in the real world
//she's a farking lunatic
///emphasis on lunatic
 
2012-12-30 03:34:56 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2012-12-30 03:35:20 AM  
img824.imageshack.us
 
2012-12-30 03:35:37 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Couple of jerk-offs...


That was bad and you should feel bad.

And you should feel worse for making me laugh my ass off.
 
2012-12-30 03:37:43 AM  
Scanned, didn't need to read....there's nothing like the real thing!
 
2012-12-30 03:50:39 AM  
After reading the article, I can safely say that it isn't the vibrator that's ruining this whore's relationship.
 
2012-12-30 03:50:42 AM  

White_Scarf_Syndrome: Didn't read.

Currently only break out rabbit schlong when she feels like getting some DP action. I love it because usually that means I'm goin back door.
The sex is the best out of the 30 or so women I've had. I'm 32. It's uncanny and we can time it to finish at the same time, pretty much every time. We end up like two dogs stuck together. I'll pull out and she's writhing around, shaking...the whole bit. I can't even touch her or else I'll get smacked. Too sensitive at that point. It's awesome. I'm single and well, my first borns mom and I don't feel like dating or doing anyone else. Eff that noise.

NOW.

I was dating a girl that had "a little dolphin friend." Maybe some of you ladies know what I'm talking about. Now, I could never make her finish just by penetration like I could with the aforementioned girl. She always had to break out her little dolphin friend. Personally, I loved it. I get a lot of excitement out of making sure a girl finishes. I have very good self control and can stop just short of the edge all night if I really wanted. It was a lot of fun being inside and watching her concentrate and making her little dolphin friend do the right thing. Never once was I insulted by this. It also provided a little stimulation for me down there too so I had to pull out occasionally as it would put me over the edge. Eventually, I knew she was about to drop off the edge and I'd go full on, timing it just right.

If this guy wasn't such a god damn insecure little pussy he could be timing it to finish each time, in the pooper. And THAT, my friends, is what makes a good sex life. Err, not anal, but finishing at the same time.

At the same time. I can't stress this enough. Do you wanna know my idiotic theory about why it works so well with the shiattiest girlfriend I ever had but also the best sex ever and also my kids Mom? Our height difference is 6" exactly. This is my exact penis length. There, that's it. Also my schlong is a little skinny so I'm not bragging at all.

Find your schlong length, get a girl exactly that many inches shorter than you. Report back to me on this theory. I know there are some Studman69's out there willing to put out an ad for exact height requirements in women.

Wow, I REALLY didn't read the article.

Thanks for listening and how YOU doin?


That explains why I like.midget porn so much. Height difference between me an a dwarf....
 
2012-12-30 03:52:41 AM  

Robert Poopsmith: Plug in vibrators cause global warming by wasting electricity friction.

 
2012-12-30 03:52:51 AM  

there their theyre: That explains why I like.midget porn so much. Height difference between me an a dwarf....



you are doing it wrong
 
2012-12-30 04:08:08 AM  
I bought my girlfriend (now-wife) a vibrator about six years ago. I don't give her much chance to wish to use it.

Dude has maaaajor S/E problems.

//vibrators have many uses
//that is all
 
2012-12-30 04:09:27 AM  

quickdraw: See heres the thing. Most women can have way more than one orgasm so you may as well get that first one out of the way asap. The rest just kind of come tumbling out once you get that first one to cut loose.

So buzz her silly and then enjoy the ride.


So can I. No refractory period FTW.
 
2012-12-30 04:09:43 AM  
Feelings, sensations that you thought were dead
No squealing, remember
(that it's all in your head)
 
2012-12-30 04:10:42 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: libranoelrose: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I don't think I've ever dated a woman who had any kind of dildo or vibrator. I don't know if that's odd or not, or maybe it's just an older woman thing?

What do you consider old?

Not "old", that was a poor choice of words. But I mean like, 30's+ I guess. I'm 31, and have so far only dated women in their teens and twenties.


I've dated women in their 20s and 40s. The women in their 20s all have toys to pleasure themselves. The women in their 40s don't, and prefer it that way for reasons that this article doesn't say but does seem to insinuate(that she puts the vibrator over her boyfriend, enough for him to be pissed off about it)
 
2012-12-30 04:18:21 AM  

bhcompy: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: libranoelrose: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I don't think I've ever dated a woman who had any kind of dildo or vibrator. I don't know if that's odd or not, or maybe it's just an older woman thing?

What do you consider old?

Not "old", that was a poor choice of words. But I mean like, 30's+ I guess. I'm 31, and have so far only dated women in their teens and twenties.

I've dated women in their 20s and 40s. The women in their 20s all have toys to pleasure themselves. The women in their 40s don't, and prefer it that way for reasons that this article doesn't say but does seem to insinuate(that she puts the vibrator over her boyfriend, enough for him to be pissed off about it)


There you go. The younger women don't have the sexual hang-ups. Or worries about their boyfriends with hang-ups getting hung-up about it.

It's already been said, but again: few women are able to have vaginal-stimulation-only orgasms. Most require a bit of help. Why would that bother a person?

My wife's ex got offended when she tried to masturbate to orgasm during sex. I could never understand that; it's sexy as hell.
 
2012-12-30 04:26:11 AM  
Right direction
 
2012-12-30 04:32:30 AM  

aagrajag: bhcompy: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: libranoelrose: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I don't think I've ever dated a woman who had any kind of dildo or vibrator. I don't know if that's odd or not, or maybe it's just an older woman thing?

What do you consider old?

Not "old", that was a poor choice of words. But I mean like, 30's+ I guess. I'm 31, and have so far only dated women in their teens and twenties.

I've dated women in their 20s and 40s. The women in their 20s all have toys to pleasure themselves. The women in their 40s don't, and prefer it that way for reasons that this article doesn't say but does seem to insinuate(that she puts the vibrator over her boyfriend, enough for him to be pissed off about it)

There you go. The younger women don't have the sexual hang-ups. Or worries about their boyfriends with hang-ups getting hung-up about it.

It's already been said, but again: few women are able to have vaginal-stimulation-only orgasms. Most require a bit of help. Why would that bother a person?

My wife's ex got offended when she tried to masturbate to orgasm during sex. I could never understand that; it's sexy as hell.


THIS.

If the penetration doesn't work, let her augment it how she likes, and play around with your stuff in or around there.

Then again, I still can't give her up, because the penetration is that good.

This is definitely a NSFW thread.

No Farkettes. It's a Saturday night and they aren't posting their sexual exploits on Fark, like me...others.

Well shiat.
 
2012-12-30 04:34:40 AM  

Atomic Spunk: Mock26: tbhouston: Sounds like he has a tiny penis..no women ive been with has needed a robot to make her come

Sounds like you are the one with the tiny penis.

I'm puzzled why you think having a tiny penis is some sort of insult.

/has a tiny penis
//was able to convince a lot of otherwise reluctant women to try anal


Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I've had that conversation.

//my wife's nickname for me is "Hammer-Dick"
//I ain't bragging, 'cause it ain't a good thing
 
2012-12-30 04:46:02 AM  

White_Scarf_Syndrome: aagrajag: bhcompy: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: libranoelrose: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I don't think I've ever dated a woman who had any kind of dildo or vibrator. I don't know if that's odd or not, or maybe it's just an older woman thing?

What do you consider old?

Not "old", that was a poor choice of words. But I mean like, 30's+ I guess. I'm 31, and have so far only dated women in their teens and twenties.

I've dated women in their 20s and 40s. The women in their 20s all have toys to pleasure themselves. The women in their 40s don't, and prefer it that way for reasons that this article doesn't say but does seem to insinuate(that she puts the vibrator over her boyfriend, enough for him to be pissed off about it)

There you go. The younger women don't have the sexual hang-ups. Or worries about their boyfriends with hang-ups getting hung-up about it.

It's already been said, but again: few women are able to have vaginal-stimulation-only orgasms. Most require a bit of help. Why would that bother a person?

My wife's ex got offended when she tried to masturbate to orgasm during sex. I could never understand that; it's sexy as hell.

THIS.

If the penetration doesn't work, let her augment it how she likes, and play around with your stuff in or around there.

Then again, I still can't give her up, because the penetration is that good.

This is definitely a NSFW thread.

No Farkettes. It's a Saturday night and they aren't posting their sexual exploits on Fark, like me...others.

Well shiat.


There are other ways to provide stimulation than penis to vagina interfacing... regardless, I wasn't talking about just getting something for when pickings are slim, rather preferring that toy over your partner(which is emasculating for the man and can affect the woman as well). The girl in this article... well, she sounds like she fits that group.
 
2012-12-30 04:57:19 AM  
He should buy a fleshlight or something and just leave it laying out the next time she comes over. Just to see how she reacts.
 
2012-12-30 05:02:59 AM  

Spartan_Manhandler: [imageshack.us image 640x412]

Obligatory.


Is it weird I was waiting for THIS?
 
2012-12-30 05:03:32 AM  
I've dated several women, and ages 18-38 they've all had toys. Sometimes they'd use them, sometimes not. Mrs Tooba has a toy, but really only uses it when we are apart, or when we are pressed for time (appointment, dinnerdate, kids downstairs playing etc. We are comfortable with each other, so I care not if there is an addition to sexy time.
 
2012-12-30 05:07:02 AM  

libranoelrose: Right direction


Done Right.
img547.imageshack.us
 
2012-12-30 05:11:02 AM  
Replace 'vibrator' with '5TB of fetish porn' and reverse the genders and the story would be seen in an entirely different light.
 
2012-12-30 05:15:03 AM  
img826.imageshack.us Hello, Kitty.
 
2012-12-30 05:52:33 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: libranoelrose: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I don't think I've ever dated a woman who had any kind of dildo or vibrator. I don't know if that's odd or not, or maybe it's just an older woman thing?

What do you consider old?

Not "old", that was a poor choice of words. But I mean like, 30's+ I guess. I'm 31, and have so far only dated women in their teens and twenties.


I didn't buy my first vibe until I was 26 or so. Thinking about it, it basically came down to availability. The sex-shops in my local area were seriously gross/creepy places, very male-orientated, definitely not somewhere I'd walk into alone. (And the time I went in with a boyfriend, some guys mistook me for one of the peep-show girls, and I had to drag him back out again to prevent a fight.) Also, I was living with the parents while I finished uni, and didn't have my own credit card, so mail-order would've required a horribly awkward coversation with the folks (urghh!). In the end, I purchased my first one at a sex-toy party (like tupperware, but for toys).

So I guess older = better finances and access?
 
2012-12-30 05:54:47 AM  
A must read:
http://yourbrainonporn.com/vibrators- and-other-pleasures-when-moderat i on-fails

I've given up on masturbating to porn and my sex life has never been better. Whether that will work for other men and women with vibrators, I won't say but reading about the whole reward circuitry of the brain was fascinating and enlightening. It's something the sex writer should inform herself on.
 
2012-12-30 05:56:28 AM  
I'm definitely the one-and-done type, and it doesn't take long at all. I also have a pretty low drive, so it's more fun if i save it up for the husband; we have a box of toys, but honestly, he gets a lot more use out of them than i do.


I think they're both being slightly ridiculous, but sometimes there is just a fundamental sexual incompatibility. Shake it off be friends again six months from now, and move on. Yeesh.
 
2012-12-30 05:59:27 AM  

D_Evans45: Vibrators are awesome, but they will never replace the stimulation/satisfaction most of us receive from some real good face-to-face sex. Think of them not as enemies, but pawns to be exploited on your way to sexual conquest. Incorporate it tactfully into the foreplay, and you can often increase your end gains substantially.

Also guys, you can receive intense pleasure from a vibrator, without fearing homosexual stigma. You can stimulate your prostate very easily without playing with your butt, merely applying vibration to the skin between your testicles and anus. It wouldnt be any gayer than sitting on the dryer and masturbating. To put it bluntly, apply vibration to your taint when you whack it next time, and youll have one of the best orgasms youve ever experienced. You have all kinds of pleasurable nerve endings down there that aren't stimulated through normal intercourse.

/Cue scene from Road Trip where the guy about to get probed says "Did I say 2 fingers? I meant 3"



No straight guy should ever place a toy in his a$&.
 
2012-12-30 06:04:42 AM  

Mid_mo_mad_man:

No straight guy should ever place a toy in his a$&.



I would wager to say that you are missing out.
 
2012-12-30 06:30:05 AM  
It's silly to think that vibrators could ruin one's sexual intimacy? Why is that silly?

That like saying it's silly that porn could ruin a man's sexual intimacy with his wife. Of course it could ruin his perception of what turns him on/etc.

I was with a woman for a few years.  Her vibrator was so strong that she admitted to not being able to get off as strongly when I was with her because the sensation wasn't nearly as strong.  Also, she said her clit was numbed and began to not feel as much pleasure afterwards.  These are real concerns that should awaken us all.  Just as too much porn should be frowned upon by society.
 
2012-12-30 06:33:28 AM  

Mid_mo_mad_man: D_Evans45: ...

No straight guy should ever place a toy in his a$&.



Notice I said "you dont have to play with your butt", I gave the " no putting something up your ass" disclaimer. As you are approaching climax next time you pleasure yourself, with your free hand, run your fingers lengthwise against your prostate through your perineum. Rub back and forth with a bit of pressure, you'll immediately notice a new source of pleasure you didn't know about before.

It cant possibly be gay if you are doing it with a woman, or thinking about a woman. Im currently with a "manly man," a big burly athletic guy, and he didn't hesitate for a second when he noticed how good it feels. Ive never moved for anal penetration either, just some firm upward back-forth pressure on the perineum as he approaches climax, usually during fellatio. He rubs his own perineum now, even when he masturbates.

I usually try it on most guys Im with whenever I date again, and they all love it. Ive had them freely admit that theyve gotten their new girlfriends to do it too. You guys got a big complex set of nerves up in there or something.
 
2012-12-30 06:41:16 AM  

D_Evans45: Mid_mo_mad_man: D_Evans45: ...

No straight guy should ever place a toy in his a$&.


Notice I said "you dont have to play with your butt", I gave the " no putting something up your ass" disclaimer. As you are approaching climax next time you pleasure yourself, with your free hand, run your fingers lengthwise against your prostate through your perineum. Rub back and forth with a bit of pressure, you'll immediately notice a new source of pleasure you didn't know about before.

It cant possibly be gay if you are doing it with a woman, or thinking about a woman. Im currently with a "manly man," a big burly athletic guy, and he didn't hesitate for a second when he noticed how good it feels. Ive never moved for anal penetration either, just some firm upward back-forth pressure on the perineum as he approaches climax, usually during fellatio. He rubs his own perineum now, even when he masturbates.

I usually try it on most guys Im with whenever I date again, and they all love it. Ive had them freely admit that theyve gotten their new girlfriends to do it too. You guys got a big complex set of nerves up in there or something.



Might have the lady in my life try that. Was worried you were trying to encourage "pegging". That will never happen to me.
 
2012-12-30 06:50:51 AM  

turtle553: Link

Here's a video of her talking, So you can make your own judgement on hotness and annoyance.


Krist, that beast is lucky to have a boyfriend at all.

/ I'm guessing she doesn't.
 
2012-12-30 07:05:28 AM  
Vibrators helped me to get my wife to the place in our relationship where she will be getting a MFM and I a FMF New years eve in the same room at the same time and its also our first chance at both being bare back... and you god damn rights I will be using her vibrators on th oher women and then later on her as she farks me with all that cum pouring out of her
 
2012-12-30 07:22:03 AM  

kvinesknows: Vibrators helped me to get my wife to the place in our relationship where she will be getting a MFM and I a FMF New years eve in the same room at the same time and its also our first chance at both being bare back... and you god damn rights I will be using her vibrators on th oher women and then later on her as she farks me with all that cum pouring out of her


i94.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-30 07:22:06 AM  
Guy sounds like a total loser.
 
2012-12-30 07:28:48 AM  
Kazan [TotalFark] 2012-12-30 01:02:57 AM
.../challenging lovers are a pain in the ass.


Thank you for saying this.
You may have just changed my life.
 
2012-12-30 07:50:20 AM  
AustinFakir 2012-12-30 01:30:51 AM

Stupid objections are usually based on something deeper.kbotc: HotWingAgenda: "It's not that I think you're going to leave me for your Hitachi," he told me, "but there's a caveman part of me that thinks, I should be able to satisfy you. You shouldn't need a magic stick."

This article was entirely unnecessary if she already had the answer. He was probably fine with her having a whole Santa's workshop at her place, but buying one just to store at his place is an insult. How would a girl feel about a guy having a blowup doll delivered to her apartment?

Yea... Why not just get a Wee-Vibe or something? I'm going to think she's quite selfish in bed and that's become the point of contention, not the vibe habit.

Spot on. Stupid-sounding objections from otherwise reasonable people are usually based on keen observations that they don't know how to articulate. This guy is feeling superfluous in bed, and he's probably right. Speaking as a very experienced employee who has been laid off more than once, when you know your employer can do just fine without you, you'd better be looking for another job, because you could be laid off at any moment. There won't be any more warning signs than that single one, which is knowing that you aren't needed.


This is so wrong and, especially from a woman's point of view, at least mine anyway, makes absolutely no sense.

A woman in a relationship is not an employer, even though men are always on the lookout for any way a woman might be trying to be the "boss". It also seems to me that a lot of the foundation for relationship problems these days stem from men not evolving from being needed to simply being wanted.

Women's survival and fulfillment is no longer dependent on finding one individual man to offer them protection. Women can take care of themselves: Financially, emotionally, physically and yes, that includes sexually. A lot men find this daunting and intimidating because it puts her on an equal footing, which, to them, is the same as letting a woman take the reins altogether.

When your relationship becomes an issue of "do I control my woman" versus "do we love each other and are we still best at complimenting and fulfilling each others needs," that is the warning sign that you are about to be let go, not some arbitrary notion of need.

Her boyfriend was taking the step of controlling how she gets off, even in a small fashion. He needed reassurance that he wasn't being replaced, and she needed reassurance that she wasn't being controlled. That they could communicate their emotional issues, recognize them for what they truly meant, and that they both got what they wanted in the end shows their relationship is strong and working.
 
2012-12-30 08:00:59 AM  
See, I've always not only been okay with it, but I LIKE it when a girl leaves her toys at my house. It's hot to watch, and in many cases I'm better with it on her than she is! It's the nature of the beast. We're men; we shouldn't feel threatened. Take that which scares you and turn it into your advantage. Like you're the Batman of sex. You could even dress up.
 
2012-12-30 08:15:26 AM  
Remember, a woman can own more vibrators than the best pron shop in town sells and shes not a whore, but if I guy owns a pocket pussy he is like a serial rapist level perv amIdoingitrite?
 
2012-12-30 08:25:31 AM  
I once knew a guy that experienced pure terror when a girl he was dating left a toothbrush at his apartment.

I think the hang-up might not be about the vibrator as a vibrator, but as a planted flag.
 
2012-12-30 08:52:43 AM  

HotWingAgenda: "It's not that I think you're going to leave me for your Hitachi," he told me, "but there's a caveman part of me that thinks, I should be able to satisfy you. You shouldn't need a magic stick."

This article was entirely unnecessary if she already had the answer.  He was probably fine with her having a whole Santa's workshop at her place, but buying one just to store at his place is an insult.  How would a girl feel about a guy having a blowup doll delivered to her apartment?


It's the "Cadillac", remember? So replace blow-up with Real Doll for the equivalency.

If a woman exists that would be happy slicking up that particular uncanny valley, I've yet to meet or hear of her.

Although "Lars and the Real Girl" was a surprisingly sensitive movie on the topic.
 
2012-12-30 09:10:38 AM  
I think we're being ribbed for her pleasure.
 
2012-12-30 09:18:22 AM  

White_Scarf_Syndrome: Didn't read.

Currently only break out rabbit schlong when she feels like getting some DP action. I love it because usually that means I'm goin back door.
The sex is the best out of the 30 or so women I've had. I'm 32. It's uncanny and we can time it to finish at the same time, pretty much every time. We end up like two dogs stuck together. I'll pull out and she's writhing around, shaking...the whole bit. I can't even touch her or else I'll get smacked. Too sensitive at that point. It's awesome. I'm single and well, my first borns mom and I don't feel like dating or doing anyone else. Eff that noise.

NOW.

I was dating a girl that had "a little dolphin friend." Maybe some of you ladies know what I'm talking about. Now, I could never make her finish just by penetration like I could with the aforementioned girl. She always had to break out her little dolphin friend. Personally, I loved it. I get a lot of excitement out of making sure a girl finishes. I have very good self control and can stop just short of the edge all night if I really wanted. It was a lot of fun being inside and watching her concentrate and making her little dolphin friend do the right thing. Never once was I insulted by this. It also provided a little stimulation for me down there too so I had to pull out occasionally as it would put me over the edge. Eventually, I knew she was about to drop off the edge and I'd go full on, timing it just right.

If this guy wasn't such a god damn insecure little pussy he could be timing it to finish each time, in the pooper. And THAT, my friends, is what makes a good sex life. Err, not anal, but finishing at the same time.

At the same time. I can't stress this enough. Do you wanna know my idiotic theory about why it works so well with the shiattiest girlfriend I ever had but also the best sex ever and also my kids Mom? Our height difference is 6" exactly. This is my exact penis length. There, that's it. Also my schlong is a little ski ...


It's going to be hard to find a woman who's only 4' 6"...
 
2012-12-30 09:27:38 AM  

BSABSVR: It's like leaving a toothbrush. Only for her clit.


Her clit has teeth? The article doesn't suggest otherwise.
 
2012-12-30 09:34:24 AM  
I. R. Rottweiler:

At the same time. I can't stress this enough. Do you wanna know my idiotic theory about why it works so well with the shiattiest girlfriend I ever had but also the best sex ever and also my kids Mom? Our height difference is 6" exactly. This is my exact penis length. There, that's it. Also my s ...


I like girls to have more legs than a girl that much shorter than me would have.
 
2012-12-30 09:45:38 AM  
""It's just a vibrator," I told him. "Of course I need and want you.""

The mortgage for that house I want in Westchester ain't gonna pay itself.


I wouldn't have a problem with her jacking it (jilling it?), but I would be annoyed if she talked about it all the time. I'd be tempted to react to her coming over by tossing the spam javelin in front of the computer, and only then interacting with her.


/"Creating sexual tension" means something else....
 
2012-12-30 09:50:58 AM  

Hermione_Granger: AustinFakir 2012-12-30 01:30:51 AM

Stupid objections are usually based on something deeper.kbotc: HotWingAgenda: "It's not that I think you're going to leave me for your Hitachi," he told me, "but there's a caveman part of me that thinks, I should be able to satisfy you. You shouldn't need a magic stick."

This article was entirely unnecessary if she already had the answer. He was probably fine with her having a whole Santa's workshop at her place, but buying one just to store at his place is an insult. How would a girl feel about a guy having a blowup doll delivered to her apartment?

Yea... Why not just get a Wee-Vibe or something? I'm going to think she's quite selfish in bed and that's become the point of contention, not the vibe habit.

Spot on. Stupid-sounding objections from otherwise reasonable people are usually based on keen observations that they don't know how to articulate. This guy is feeling superfluous in bed, and he's probably right. Speaking as a very experienced employee who has been laid off more than once, when you know your employer can do just fine without you, you'd better be looking for another job, because you could be laid off at any moment. There won't be any more warning signs than that single one, which is knowing that you aren't needed.

This is so wrong and, especially from a woman's point of view, at least mine anyway, makes absolutely no sense.

A woman in a relationship is not an employer, even though men are always on the lookout for any way a woman might be trying to be the "boss". It also seems to me that a lot of the foundation for relationship problems these days stem from men not evolving from being needed to simply being wanted.

Women's survival and fulfillment is no longer dependent on finding one individual man to offer them protection. Women can take care of themselves: Financially, emotionally, physically and yes, that includes sexually. A lot men find this daunting and intimidating because it puts her on an equal ...


So, I take it your boyfriend ran off with another gal?
 
2012-12-30 09:51:33 AM  
It's a Salon article about a Brooklyn woman....stopped reading after I got that far.
 
2012-12-30 09:56:50 AM  
Mouser
So, I take it your boyfriend ran off with another gal?


No, after 15 years, I asked him to move out because he couldn't understand the simple concept of "pay bills on time" and because I could get better sex elsewhere.

Feel better now?
 
2012-12-30 10:08:45 AM  

AustinFakir: The author is on the verge of firing her boyfriend, but she doesn't realize it, and he does.


i234.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-30 10:09:28 AM  

Brick-House: and picts or it didn't happen please.

figuringoutlife.webs.com
 
2012-12-30 10:14:50 AM  
My gf was less than thrilled when I bought a fleshlight to keep at her house. Her dad wasn't amused either on Thanksgiving when the power went out.
 
2012-12-30 10:27:25 AM  

david_gaithersburg: TheSwizz: She sounds ugl...damn.

.
Don't stick your dick in crazy. Link


Now I understand why the boyfriend didn't want her to bring anything to his place.
 
2012-12-30 10:28:20 AM  

CreamFilling: gadian: If she wants to have alone time with the vibe, she needs to find a partner more amiable to this desire.

If she wants alone time, she shouldn't do it at his place.  That has nothing to do with sexual needs, and everything to do with being self centered.  I can guarantee you that if he bought a PS3 for her place so he could play Madden and ignore her she would have a problem with that.


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^6
 
2012-12-30 10:35:31 AM  

Marisyana: (sees headline and source)

"Oh, Christ, ten bucks says this is Rachel Kramer Bussel."

(opens link)

"KNEW IT!!!"

/met her a couple times due to stuff I do in the real world
//she's a farking lunatic
///emphasis on lunatic


go on...
 
2012-12-30 10:41:57 AM  

kvinesknows: Vibrators helped me to get my wife to the place in our relationship where she will be getting a MFM and I a FMF New years eve in the same room at the same time and its also our first chance at both being bare back... and you god damn rights I will be using her vibrators on th oher women and then later on her as she farks me with all that cum pouring out of her


I hope your playmates are more experienced than you sound because sharing sex toys is a very unsanitary practice, no matter if everyone is DDF. Our parties are always bring-your-own or we have packaged toys as party favours.
It's not just STDs to consider. Please play responsibly.
 
2012-12-30 10:43:14 AM  

Marisyana: (sees headline and source)

"Oh, Christ, ten bucks says this is Rachel Kramer Bussel."

(opens link)

"KNEW IT!!!"

/met her a couple times due to stuff I do in the real world
//she's a farking lunatic
///emphasis on lunatic


Crazy jumps from that article's pages, adding an interesting perspective to all the abuse heaped on the boyfriend here. Between the lines it reads like he's having second thoughts about the costs/benefits of a relationship with a freak.
 
2012-12-30 10:50:18 AM  
First time my soon-to-be wife drove out to my place, she brought one of her vibrators. I did the classic, "That's not a vibrator (pulling out my Hitachi Magic Wand), THIS is a vibrator!"

/Why would a guy own a Hitachi? Repeat 'business'.
 
2012-12-30 11:02:10 AM  

epoc_tnac: We have a hitachi.
She still wants to fark.
I guess that's the end of the story.


This!.  I've bought toys with my girlfriend to use when we're together or when we're not.  It hasn't ruined our sex life either.
 
2012-12-30 11:02:38 AM  

Abox: My gf was less than thrilled when I bought a fleshlight to keep at her house. Her dad wasn't amused either on Thanksgiving when the power went out.


Yeah, right. Suuuuuure he wasn't amused.
 
2012-12-30 11:16:01 AM  

ExperianScaresCthulhu: CreamFilling: gadian: If she wants to have alone time with the vibe, she needs to find a partner more amiable to this desire.

If she wants alone time, she shouldn't do it at his place.  That has nothing to do with sexual needs, and everything to do with being self centered.  I can guarantee you that if he bought a PS3 for her place so he could play Madden and ignore her she would have a problem with that.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^6


and y'all know she doesn't own a PS3 or play video games, how?
 
2012-12-30 11:17:23 AM  
Doesn't the hyper stimulation of a magic wand de-sensitize the affected area progressively over time and make it increasingly difficult to release? "A well traveled path might be a more deeply rutted one"
 
2012-12-30 11:24:49 AM  
mojoimage.com
 
2012-12-30 11:37:43 AM  
Just wait until the boyfriend finds her Symbian in the hall closet.
 
2012-12-30 11:37:48 AM  

gaslight: [mojoimage.com image 609x312]


Endorphin release staves it off?
 
2012-12-30 11:51:15 AM  

Gunther: Anyone else get in the habit of putting anyone who makes long comments without reading the article on ignore?


No, because what that person had to say ended up being somewhat related to TFA.
 
2012-12-30 11:52:33 AM  
Ultimate vibrator
images01.olx.com
 
2012-12-30 11:54:47 AM  

CreamFilling: I think his point was that this is a space for discussing the article, and for you to come in, report that you didn't read the article, then post a monologue because it's something you like talking about is out of line.  He's right, frankly.  It happens all the time and it's rarely a big deal, but don't be surprised if some people don't like it. therefore we're going to make it all about you because this is Fark and I need some attention.  Waaah waaaah!

 
2012-12-30 11:54:51 AM  

canwolfshadow: gaslight: [mojoimage.com image 609x312]

Endorphin release staves it off?


Maybe. Or maybe she just uses every opportunity she can think of as an excuse to masturbate.
 
2012-12-30 11:57:39 AM  

david_gaithersburg: TheSwizz: She sounds ugl...damn.

.
Don't stick your dick in crazy. Link


Wow, you don't need a minor in Linguistic Psychology to realize that she's narcissistic and starts every other sentence with "I" this and "I" that. I don't know what went on with the boyfriend, but it sounds suffocating if one were to be with her.
 
2012-12-30 12:00:26 PM  

StrikitRich: Just wait until the boyfriend finds her Symbian in the hall closet.


That guy is somewhat damaged if he is freaked out by an old mobile phone..

/Knew what you meant but couldn't resist.

// Its Sybian.
 
2012-12-30 12:03:45 PM  

MemphisSlacker: StrikitRich: Just wait until the boyfriend finds her Symbian in the hall closet.

That guy is somewhat damaged if he is freaked out by an old mobile phone..

/Knew what you meant but couldn't resist.

// Its Sybian.


Mobile phones have a vibrate mode, too!! :-)
 
2012-12-30 12:03:50 PM  
confused_Jackie_Chan.jpg
 
2012-12-30 12:05:22 PM  

StrikitRich: Just wait until the boyfriend finds her Symbian in the hall closet.


That would have been in her purse a few years ago, but she's likely using an iPhone these days.

I think you meant "her Sybian." (NSFW, like this whole damn thread...)
 
2012-12-30 12:07:22 PM  

gaslight: [mojoimage.com image 609x312]


What confuses you about a person masturbating in times of stress?

Or is it that you don't believe panic attacks are real or something?
 
2012-12-30 12:09:51 PM  
Well, that was a nice advertisement for Hitachi.

I must say that envy women and their pulsating, throbbing, ecstatic orgasms that often last 10, 15 minutes or more.
 
2012-12-30 12:10:12 PM  
I'm an old bastard, but one thing I learned is that the woman's ability in bed can be correlated to the number of toys she keeps in the dresser. My theory is that sex can't be good unless both partners understand the needs and capabilities of their own bodies. Toys are a great way to find out.

If the boyfriend in question has a problem with her leaving a toy, then the boyfriend still has a few things to learn.

On the other hand, if the author doesn't realize that holding her boyfriend up to ridicule in front of tens of thousands of people is a bad idea, well, I guess she has something to learn as well.
 
2012-12-30 12:15:51 PM  

Limeyluv: kvinesknows: Vibrators helped me to get my wife to the place in our relationship where she will be getting a MFM and I a FMF New years eve in the same room at the same time and its also our first chance at both being bare back... and you god damn rights I will be using her vibrators on th oher women and then later on her as she farks me with all that cum pouring out of her

I hope your playmates are more experienced than you sound because sharing sex toys is a very unsanitary practice, no matter if everyone is DDF. Our parties are always bring-your-own or we have packaged toys as party favours.
It's not just STDs to consider. Please play responsibly.



pfft.
 
2012-12-30 12:18:12 PM  
I'm using my Hitachi right now so I'm reahshafa gwtrwwjjdg erplieshdf
 
2012-12-30 12:35:43 PM  
This really needs to be said here:

imgs.xkcd.com
 
2012-12-30 12:42:09 PM  

LibertyHiller: StrikitRich: Just wait until the boyfriend finds her Symbian in the hall closet.

That would have been in her purse a few years ago, but she's likely using an iPhone these days.

I think you meant "her Sybian." (NSFW, like this whole damn thread...)


HOLY SMOKES!! Don't look at that Venus 2000 video or you'll get 'A Boy and His Dog' flashbacks.
 
2012-12-30 01:08:45 PM  
I have no problem with any gf having a vibrator. I'd only get bummed out if it was affecting our sex life with her masturbating in place of having sex with me (as opposed to in addition to) or if she became desensitized from it and didn't lay off for a while. Pretty much what I'd expect her to have a problem with if the roles were reversed. Otherwise I'm all in favor and would probably pay and take her (hypothetical since I'm single) to a less skeevy and knowledable staffed place like the Pleasure Chest in W.Hollywood (good enough for Halle Berry) to shop and buy it since I'm in LA.

What are the female farkers who have vibrators opinion on guys having sex toys like the Fleshlight or the Cobra Libre?
 
2012-12-30 01:28:14 PM  
d.yimg.com

That you, Mojo?
 
2012-12-30 01:36:35 PM  

Twilight Farkle: She's vibrator-dependent,
Don't want me in it,
Says I don't make the right noise...


Came here for the Mojo Nixon references, leaving, uh, satisfied.
 
2012-12-30 01:41:24 PM  

Mattevil: I have no problem with any gf having a vibrator. I'd only get bummed out if it was affecting our sex life with her masturbating in place of having sex with me (as opposed to in addition to) or if she became desensitized from it and didn't lay off for a while. Pretty much what I'd expect her to have a problem with if the roles were reversed. Otherwise I'm all in favor and would probably pay and take her (hypothetical since I'm single) to a less skeevy and knowledable staffed place like the Pleasure Chest in W.Hollywood (good enough for Halle Berry) to shop and buy it since I'm in LA.

What are the female farkers who have vibrators opinion on guys having sex toys like the Fleshlight or the Cobra Libre?


you've never had sex have u
 
2012-12-30 01:44:23 PM  
www.boozecrewsports.com
 
2012-12-30 02:31:29 PM  
Bought a hitachi for the wife a few years ago. Think it's gotten more of workout as a muscle massager than a hoohoo massager. Fantastic device for those deep knots in your muscles, will make you scream in pain/ecstasy when it's set to high.

Only problem with it had been a tendency to get worryingly hot after 20 minutes of use.

Also, article write seems like a drama queen and a blatant attention whore, like most "sex writers". Not sure how the headline "vibrators ruined sex life" equates with the substance of the article, which was "my boyfriend and I had a long talk after I left a vibrator at his house".
 
2012-12-30 02:47:57 PM  

Hermione_Granger: Her boyfriend was taking the step of controlling how she gets off, even in a small fashion. He needed reassurance that he wasn't being replaced, and she needed reassurance that she wasn't being controlled. That they could communicate their emotional issues, recognize them for what they truly meant, and that they both got what they wanted in the end shows their relationship is strong and working.


I'm not saying that her having toys makes him redundant. I'm saying it shouldn't make him redundant. He should provide something that the toys don't (being a human being she supposedly loves, etc.) and if he feels like he doesn't add anything, then he's probably right. He's been okay with toys up to this point in the relationship, so it isn't the toys that make him feel that way. In my experience with fizzling relationships, the person who has become disposable often realizes it before their partner does, and I think that's what this disagreement over the toy is about, even if neither of them realizes it yet.
 
2012-12-30 03:02:54 PM  
Contrived story is contrived.
 
2012-12-30 03:13:36 PM  
In the future, we can expect to see such articles as "My husband thinks I am replacing him with a handsome sex droid because which is silly because I give my husband love and affection and the sex droid is just there to assist us during every sexual encounter".
 
2012-12-30 04:37:28 PM  
insulting the BF in front of the entire world must be why they say dont fark anyone crazier than yourself. he did and this happened.

never fark anyone crazier than yourself. you want you dirty laundry on fark? Good luck getting a new bf.
 
2012-12-30 04:58:29 PM  
Funny...I thought those devices were only used in Japan ( according to my research).
It's strange how most commonly found porn in the west differs so drastically from japan : One spends the first half pleasuring the pixelated lady with a variety of toys, whilst the other rapidly turns her into a kebab.
/just stereotyping
 
2012-12-30 05:10:01 PM  

stryed: Funny...I thought those devices were only used in Japan ( according to my research).
It's strange how most commonly found porn in the west differs so drastically from japan : One spends the first half pleasuring the pixelated lady with a variety of toys, whilst the other rapidly turns her into a kebab.
/just stereotyping


What really interests me is the cultural impact on the noises women make during sex. 99% of Japanese women in porn make the most godawful whiny noises and sound like they are farking terrified of being farked. EI EI EINH EI EEIN It sounds so fake.. because it is. I really don't get it.
 
2012-12-30 05:36:24 PM  

lewismarktwo: stryed: Funny...I thought those devices were only used in Japan ( according to my research).
It's strange how most commonly found porn in the west differs so drastically from japan : One spends the first half pleasuring the pixelated lady with a variety of toys, whilst the other rapidly turns her into a kebab.
/just stereotyping

What really interests me is the cultural impact on the noises women make during sex. 99% of Japanese women in porn make the most godawful whiny noises and sound like they are farking terrified of being farked. EI EI EINH EI EEIN It sounds so fake.. because it is. I really don't get it.


Yeah. Japanese chicks are some of the best shiat to lay your eyes on, but the sounds and pixelated bits makes me want to get all Newtowny.
 
2012-12-30 05:51:34 PM  

Mawson of the Antarctic: Wow, you don't need a minor in Linguistic Psychology to realize that she's narcissistic and starts every other sentence with "I" this and "I" that. I don't know what went on with the boyfriend, but it sounds suffocating if one were to be with her.


But you apparently do need that minor degree if you want to realize the difference between narcissism and a diary-like blog post. "Gee, everyone writes a lot of I this and I that in their diary, they must all be narcissistic. And I saw someone display a minor sign of lacking empathy, they must be sociopaths."
 
2012-12-30 06:14:23 PM  

lewismarktwo: stryed: Funny...I thought those devices were only used in Japan ( according to my research).
It's strange how most commonly found porn in the west differs so drastically from japan : One spends the first half pleasuring the pixelated lady with a variety of toys, whilst the other rapidly turns her into a kebab.
/just stereotyping

What really interests me is the cultural impact on the noises women make during sex. 99% of Japanese women in porn make the most godawful whiny noises and sound like they are farking terrified of being farked. EI EI EINH EI EEIN It sounds so fake.. because it is. I really don't get it.


Japanese porn seems to assume that what would most turn me on is molesting a terrified, retarded teenager who despite being terrified is overwhelmed with sexual feelings that confuse her because she doesn't know what they are or why you've taken her clothes off. Also, whenever someone puts their mouth on someone else, it should sound like they're slurping a hot bowl of noodles.
 
2012-12-30 07:20:39 PM  

I. R. Rottweiler: It's going to be hard to find a woman who's only 4' 6"...


Well, we all need someone to look up to...
 
2012-12-30 08:30:37 PM  

lewismarktwo: stryed: Funny...I thought those devices were only used in Japan ( according to my research).
It's strange how most commonly found porn in the west differs so drastically from japan : One spends the first half pleasuring the pixelated lady with a variety of toys, whilst the other rapidly turns her into a kebab.
/just stereotyping

What really interests me is the cultural impact on the noises women make during sex. 99% of Japanese women in porn make the most godawful whiny noises and sound like they are farking terrified of being farked. EI EI EINH EI EEIN It sounds so fake.. because it is. I really don't get it.


True, but the same can be said for " fark, fark yeah" pause " fark!" , and then it goes to anal...butt, as for the cultural impact, it,mainly involves in people having sex with loud music on, i guess.

A middle ground has to be found, even though pornopgrahy isnt a correct portrayal of real life : men should do their best to please even if it involves japanese tech, and the ladies more open, outgoing and willing to return the favor with slurpiness. Amen and awomen!
 
2012-12-30 09:02:00 PM  

kbotc: Mock26: Cyber_Junk: tbhouston: Sounds like he has a tiny penis..no women ive been with has needed a robot to make her come

1/10 too falsely arrogant to be real

/Hitachi is a great and wonderful device

//not a chick

I once dated a girl who owned a Hitachi. When she brought that out I knew that I needed to make a pot of coffee because the next 6 hours were going to be very exhausting. And incredibly fun!!!!!

/Not a chick, too.
//Any guy who does not own toys is an idiot in my book.

Depends on each and every person... My lady HATES toys. I keep trying, but it never helps as much as a glass of red wine...


Red wine can be a toy, too!
 
2012-12-30 09:30:34 PM  
Sex toys are just a woman's equivalent of porn, which I don't have a problem with so long as she's not one of those women who uses a sex toy when her guy is away, yet gets all bent out of shape if the guy watches some porn to rub one out.

Men are more visually stimulated, whereas with women it tends to be more mental and physical.  If using a vibrating toy worked on guys there would be no porn.
 
2012-12-30 11:55:19 PM  
Fark, I am disappoint. HBO made a video of her masturbating for their "Real Sex" series, and there has been not one link to said video.

/Hit Google, couldn't find.
//211 comments, not one person with better search skills than I?
 
2012-12-31 09:18:12 AM  
As long as I can watch, I'm cool with it
 
2012-12-31 10:05:48 AM  

desertfool: Fark, I am disappoint. HBO made a video of her masturbating for their "Real Sex" series, and there has been not one link to said video.

/Hit Google, couldn't find.
//211 comments, not one person with better search skills than I?


She writes about it here, it was a group masturbate-a-thon.
The company talks about it here.
...And here's the video, 100% NSFW. It's an unfetchable url, so you have to copy and paste the text.
http://xhamster.com/movies/1244054/female_mastur_baton.html
 
2012-12-31 11:30:52 AM  

thisone: ExperianScaresCthulhu: CreamFilling: gadian: If she wants to have alone time with the vibe, she needs to find a partner more amiable to this desire.

If she wants alone time, she shouldn't do it at his place.  That has nothing to do with sexual needs, and everything to do with being self centered.  I can guarantee you that if he bought a PS3 for her place so he could play Madden and ignore her she would have a problem with that.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^6

and y'all know she doesn't own a PS3 or play video games, how?


games require cooperation. this biatch is all about herself.
 
2012-12-31 11:33:26 AM  

kvinesknows: Limeyluv: kvinesknows: Vibrators helped me to get my wife to the place in our relationship where she will be getting a MFM and I a FMF New years eve in the same room at the same time and its also our first chance at both being bare back... and you god damn rights I will be using her vibrators on th oher women and then later on her as she farks me with all that cum pouring out of her

I hope your playmates are more experienced than you sound because sharing sex toys is a very unsanitary practice, no matter if everyone is DDF. Our parties are always bring-your-own or we have packaged toys as party favours.
It's not just STDs to consider. Please play responsibly.


pfft.


Limey's right, though. Be safe, dude.
 
2012-12-31 11:38:03 AM  

Earguy: http://xhamster.com/movies/1244054/female_mastur_baton.html


That was not sexy. Guess dudes would like it, though. Lots of female parts on display. i don't know what the point of that was, though.
 
2012-12-31 12:52:56 PM  

signaljammer: She don' need me -- jus' batteries!


You're only the first of 8 people to say the same thing, but since no one pointed it out, I wanted to make sure everyone realizes that this particular vibrator plugs into the farking wall. It's that strong.
 
2012-12-31 01:15:11 PM  

ExperianScaresCthulhu: kvinesknows: Limeyluv: kvinesknows: Vibrators helped me to get my wife to the place in our relationship where she will be getting a MFM and I a FMF New years eve in the same room at the same time and its also our first chance at both being bare back... and you god damn rights I will be using her vibrators on th oher women and then later on her as she farks me with all that cum pouring out of her

I hope your playmates are more experienced than you sound because sharing sex toys is a very unsanitary practice, no matter if everyone is DDF. Our parties are always bring-your-own or we have packaged toys as party favours.
It's not just STDs to consider. Please play responsibly.


pfft.

Limey's right, though. Be safe, dude.


nuts to that.
 
2012-12-31 01:58:43 PM  

ExperianScaresCthulhu: Earguy: http://xhamster.com/movies/1244054/female_mastur_baton.html

That was not sexy. Guess dudes would like it, though. Lots of female parts on display. i don't know what the point of that was, though.


It was not particularly enjoyable. Many of the parts were nice but how can it be a true masterbate a thon if it only has chicks? Where are the dudes pumping out loads for the cause? It looks more like a lesbian group attention whore a thon to me.
 
2012-12-31 02:51:53 PM  
I call bullshiat. The guy works for a sex toy company!? I am sorry, but he is either gay, or a misogynast. Any guy that loves sex, loves his women, and loves sex with his women would never discourage her from thinking about sex more.
 
2012-12-31 04:15:22 PM  

Benjimin_Dover: ExperianScaresCthulhu: Earguy: http://xhamster.com/movies/1244054/female_mastur_baton.html

That was not sexy. Guess dudes would like it, though. Lots of female parts on display. i don't know what the point of that was, though.

It was not particularly enjoyable. Many of the parts were nice but how can it be a true masterbate a thon if it only has chicks? Where are the dudes pumping out loads for the cause? It looks more like a lesbian group attention whore a thon to me.


It was horrible. /has penis
 
2012-12-31 09:02:48 PM  

lewismarktwo: Benjimin_Dover: ExperianScaresCthulhu: Earguy: http://xhamster.com/movies/1244054/female_mastur_baton.html

That was not sexy. Guess dudes would like it, though. Lots of female parts on display. i don't know what the point of that was, though.

It was not particularly enjoyable. Many of the parts were nice but how can it be a true masterbate a thon if it only has chicks? Where are the dudes pumping out loads for the cause? It looks more like a lesbian group attention whore a thon to me.

It was horrible. /has penis


Thanks for finding it, Earguy! It's an HBO "Real Sex" episode, so it isn't the normal long haired hippies using their chakras for entertainment, but it is what it is. Earguy at least restored my faith in the power of Fark.
 
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